A narcissist's responses to exposure.

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  • Опубликовано: 21 сен 2022
  • If you're considering coaching please visit my website www.petravandeijl.com
    Instagram @petravandeijl

Комментарии • 89

  • @baronperrysr7595
    @baronperrysr7595 Год назад +10

    My God is slowly but surely exposing her for who she truly is.What I have learned is to sit back and keep my mouth shut and not try to explain what ive been through. . They cannot hide their true colors forever.Revenge is mines saith the Lord.

  • @MysteryGrey
    @MysteryGrey Год назад +2

    The best part of a narc is the silent treatment...it's like a vacation.

  • @darklordofyocommunitah4781
    @darklordofyocommunitah4781 Год назад +21

    I have a narcissistic mother who's abused me since I was a small child, mentally and physically. I was taken aback with how accurate your 5 responses of a narcissists being exposed. She has put me through all of those 5 fazes and is now actively avoiding me. Spot on Doc! 🎯

    • @PetraVanDeijl
      @PetraVanDeijl  Год назад +8

      I so sympathize with what you have been through. As a child you didn't have the power to protect and/or liberate yourself. As an adult you can make different choices....just because she's your mother, does not mean you have to tolerate further abuse.

    • @darklordofyocommunitah4781
      @darklordofyocommunitah4781 Год назад +3

      @@PetraVanDeijl Thanks. This same woman lied to me about who my father was for the first 32 years of my life. In actuality she was sleeping with three different guys in a short span of time and picked the one who was most able to provide financially to lie to. Then one day they had argument and she shot him dead when I was an infant... He was an unarmed black man. My mother used to say things to me when she would get mad at me, around the age of eight, like "I should have killed you like I killed your father." I feel at this point in my life, cutting her off completely is the only way to move forward with peace in my life.

    • @hodansaciid8706
      @hodansaciid8706 Год назад

      @@darklordofyocommunitah4781
      Why wasn’t your mother jailed for the murder she’s committed?

    • @amy-mw4gp
      @amy-mw4gp Год назад +2

      @@darklordofyocommunitah4781 I feel sorry hearing what you've been through. How can a parent treat their child in that way. I'm lucky to have an amazing mum, and I can't imagine her any differently, or imagine the pain it would cause me if my mother treated me this way. Healing thoughts and prayers to you. You didn't deserve that and are worth so much more. x

  • @TheMidlifeGallivanters
    @TheMidlifeGallivanters Год назад +20

    So lovely to see you again. The rage/silence is so disrespectful. It is indeed insidious. But that's exactly what the narc's intention is - to deeply disrespect you. It's beyond frustrating, but wonderful when one can eventually see it for what it is, and just move on. The greatest gift we can give ourselves is to move on... Thank you, once again, for your honest insights Petra. Stay well xx

    • @PetraVanDeijl
      @PetraVanDeijl  Год назад +6

      Thank you so much. So lovely to hear from you. I totally agree with you, moving on with your head held high is the greatest gift to offer yourself!

  • @hodansaciid8706
    @hodansaciid8706 Год назад +3

    I have exposed my narc mother to my whole family, some believe me some don’t but I’m glad that I’ve told my story. I feel relived and at peace, I wish I never see and hear from my birth mother for the rest of my life.

  • @terriwhalen3618
    @terriwhalen3618 Год назад +3

    I learned something I feel could be very important I want to share because it involves exposure of the narcissist. The narcissist fears being humiliated in public, especially around his or her peers. If someone does this to them, they experience mortification which is the exposure of their core shame within themselves. They are caught off guard and left defenseless. They will go into deep depression/suicidal ideation. If they live through this phase, they have to change the scenario and lie to themselves that it was not they who are bad. Then the person or people, real or not, become the target and this can be dangerous. I mean they will not stop until they ruin you even murder has occurred. I don't know if the above is accurate , but a narcissist stated this to be the truth. Chilling. Remember this is only mortification in public. We must not live in fear but be mindful of this if we want to expose them. Thank you.

    • @MysteryGrey
      @MysteryGrey Год назад

      The narc I know admitted this to be her biggest fear; public humiliation.

  • @kaystephens2672
    @kaystephens2672 11 месяцев назад +1

    My goodness. Aren't we so fortunate to have the ability to understand that we are capable of understanding the importance of respecting the feelings of other people. They just copy, but they just dont get it. We are emotionally intellegent if we get this. Congratulations for anyone who got away from someone who never really connected with a single soul. Watch the movie "Seize the Day". In the scene towards the end, the wife says, "are you in pain? I dont care about your pain". That was the voice of a woman that shes speaking about. We tried to get them to see how they hurt our feelings but they don't. Your feelings are not there with these high functioning sick people. They're pretending they know how to care about How you feel. They dont care at all about that or even recognize it. Ive seen this in 2 people in my life. I don't care how old you are, know that they don't have that. It's so wild once you get this. And if you were raised by a parent like this, be sure to watch out for the charmers who are more than glad to give you all the attention you need. Believe me. Their investment is Not for free. It will cost you. Because they appear "normal", we trust them. They adapted. Thats all, and they mimicked somebody who they saw got what they wanted. Thry copied them. They're not complete. And they're not well. Abd they're very dangerous. They're cold hearted soul crushing wastes of your life. Theyre Liars.

  • @mellybrown7667
    @mellybrown7667 Год назад +11

    Lovely to hear your voice and wisdom once again ❤️🙏...iv been through the smear campaign, I used to worry about those people who stopped talking to me....now I don't give them a second thought...I say they couldn't of liked you to start with 🙏❤️

    • @PetraVanDeijl
      @PetraVanDeijl  Год назад +1

      Good for you Melly!! Keep setting those boundaries and holding yourself in high esteem. Love and hugs.

    • @mellybrown7667
      @mellybrown7667 Год назад

      @@PetraVanDeijl ❤️ thankyou!

  • @leslieberclaz6986
    @leslieberclaz6986 Год назад +6

    Thank you Petra , it’s so good to have another precious video ! I missed you a lot , you are one of the best coaches in this field and I always look forward to your videos . I am in the midst of a smear campaign and keeping my mouth shut , I learned this is best . Everything you said is true ! Hanging in there until my divorce is final , but I am ok , learned so much and I am finally excited about the future , everyone going through this , don’t let the narc kill your joy , keep shining !

  • @erikavaleries
    @erikavaleries Год назад +6

    Love your videos. Where to turn without access to therapy? I can't talk to friends about it and the social media support groups are in the tens of thousands. They get stalked heavily despite the "private" setting and people are retaliated in these spaces. I was stalked by my abuser and her flying monkeys before I was aware of this sociopathic phenomenon. I tried a group off social media but it's so full of desperate people, I can't find a way to have a decent conversation. I end up counseling others when I am in no position with a critical illness, my jaw is broken & actually held shut with a breathing device. I can't risk losing a friend by opening up and I'm exhausted from searching for help and support.

    • @PetraVanDeijl
      @PetraVanDeijl  Год назад

      Dear Erika, I provide online coaching/counseling.
      I also have a private support group which is safe and respectful. Please feel free to email me for access to the group noalifecoaching@live.com
      Much love,
      Petra

  • @anjaschmidt540
    @anjaschmidt540 Год назад +5

    So good to see and hear you again!!! The calmness of your voice ist so good for me. Warmest wishes to you dear Petra♥️

    • @PetraVanDeijl
      @PetraVanDeijl  Год назад

      Hi Anja! I have been thinking about you. Sent you an email a couple of weeks ago. Is everything okay?

  • @erinkayeozga9947
    @erinkayeozga9947 Год назад +4

    Thank you Petra!
    Best Life Coach in the world 🙏🏻
    Good to see you again! 😊❤️

  • @lisafenn4238
    @lisafenn4238 Год назад

    Petra I have just found you. I'm in turmoil right now. In 2005 I survived an illness that left me with an acquired brain injury and although I am very recovered, I suffer from Disinhibition... it is normally humour based and my daughter, who had a traumatic childhood ( not at my hands) has been having therapy. She has told me that I have caused 90% of her trauma and I am horrified. I have lost most of my memories from before 2005 but i was emotionally abused by my ex husband... her father. My daughter has spent years beating me with the past and even though I have meaningfully apologised time and time again and always done my best to be a supportive mum. She has bad health physically and she has mental health issues too. She refuses to understand I have disinhibition. She is pretty much an armchair psychiatrist and has tried telling me I have dissociative personality disorder and depression.. I have neither. She has hit out at me again and i spiralled feeling i am unsafe to be around people... she has told me that because i said a phrase in the company of my grandkids ( under my breath and not directed at the kids), my grandson heard me and told his mum.. he is 12 and a smashing lad, she has told me i am not respecting her boundaries and i will no longer be allowed to be on my own with the kids. I am sick to death of constantly trying to explain my disinhibition which i try so hard to control.. it doesn't come out often now, that I have not responded to her.. I have decided to disengage. I don't know if she has narcissistic traits or if she is just being emotionally abusive. All I know is that she manages to make me feel like I wish I had just died instead of surviving my injury. I just feel so broken.. I have cried listening to this video. xx

  • @LisasPeaceOfArt
    @LisasPeaceOfArt Год назад +2

    I just wanted to thank you for everything you do. Your videos helped me so much a few years ago when I was trying to figure out what had happened in the aftermath of my narc leaving. Your demeanor and presentation was so comforting. Like a warm hug around my fractured self. Thank you so much. I'm happy to see you are still helping people and sharing yourself.

  • @Maria-cd5bz
    @Maria-cd5bz Год назад +2

    Always stand in your truth. Thanks for your wisdom 🙏

  • @transitionsnc
    @transitionsnc Год назад +3

    This is a good video. Petra, thank you for your time and effort. I've had a lot of narcissists in my life (as we probably all have). I don't even try to expose them because I know it's going to work to my detriment. Narcs are great at presenting well to the majority of people. They only drop the mask when around people who are close (and vulnerable) to them. This usually continues for years where the majority think the narc is "a great person" or "fun to be around" or "an upstanding member of the community". Of course you know this person's core self is dark but no one is going to believe you because they're seeing the carefully curated mask. There's no way you're going to convince people who the narc really is. I know it's hard but don't even bother trying to convince others. They'll either see it for themselves or not. Most of the time they don't unless they're directly affected. This is a bitter pill to swallow but I've found it to be true in a multitude of situations.

    • @aharry31
      @aharry31 Год назад +1

      100% so true, unfortunately. I have learned the hard way. Although, for many years my empathy commitment and compassion was wasted also, because I coukd not see through the mask. His older brother warned me about my ex narcissistic spouse and I mistook the warnings as being jealous. His son's mother repeatedly said that he does not love anyone which I had never heard of anyone before. This was during the lovebombing. Narcissistic abuse is very insidious and a relationship with the most High God for me is extremely important for guidance.

  • @Spurs9876
    @Spurs9876 Год назад +2

    I’m in the process of piecing the puzzle
    To all the hidden agendas set ups intentionally being provoked for hes and he’s families gain
    I have never in my life experienced or even knew such PEOPLE really existed

    • @PetraVanDeijl
      @PetraVanDeijl  Год назад

      Stay strong and true to yourself Mari.
      Are you still in the relationship?

    • @Spurs9876
      @Spurs9876 Год назад

      @@PetraVanDeijl
      No I left but he still has me dependant financially….

  • @sherrysaleeby2709
    @sherrysaleeby2709 6 месяцев назад

    Spot on _Im sorry you were raised by 2 of these type beings! The 1 who was n my life deserves be locked up & actually did get locked up for stealing an elderly man's checks out of his checkbook and wrote herself checks because she said he had too much money and he didn't need it he had enough! Entitled as they think they are unreal! She deserves it & so he just stole his money. I certainly know what she took from me was far more and her timing intentional after loss of my parents belongs in jail fluorescent her life as far as I'm concerned proven it be another story sure wish I cld tho. These people are demonic in should not walk among us...

  • @lindagreen9278
    @lindagreen9278 Год назад +1

    Thank you, Petra. You have helped me so much because you put narcissistic friendships in perspective. I have missed you. I have listened to the older ones time and again. Thank you for what you do❤

  • @kathryngracey7993
    @kathryngracey7993 Год назад

    Dear Petra
    Spot on! All that you shared is exactly what I am dealing with. I discovered some of the women my " christain" husband approached wrongly. They were all very grateful to be warned that he had lied to them about his marital status and other things.
    No surprise that when I confronted him he lied to me and said they were trying to trap him.
    I warned the pastors of the some of the churches he frequents to guard their flock. Yes you are sooo very right. That caused him to rage at me for " blackening him." Keeping up appearances is his top priority....however his sins will find him out. Others have been questioning and making remarks about his flirtatious and other narcissistic behavoirs.
    He does admit to being oppressed by evil spirits and is seeking help from 2 'deliverance' ministries. I am "not holding my breath, " whilst focusing on being able to go on independently.
    I will continue to dilugently to seek your videos.
    Many thanks and🙏.

    • @PetraVanDeijl
      @PetraVanDeijl  Год назад +1

      Too true....don't hold your breath. Simply focus on yourself and your own intuition!

  • @Why_Knott_Me
    @Why_Knott_Me Год назад +2

    I send you my love and admiration.
    My mom is a rare case in regards to something you said once. You said that narcissists can change but it's incredibly rare. She has. She belittled my feelings and didn't understand my mental health disorders (my anxiety, depression, self harm) and she understands it now. She listens to me and treats me with respect. Our relationship is healthy.
    She invited me and my husband to my little brother's first school play this Friday. Were going. 😁

    • @PetraVanDeijl
      @PetraVanDeijl  Год назад +1

      I'm so happy for you Skinny Dipper....I pray that your mother continues on this journey of self-awareness. Wishing you love and courage on your own journey! x

    • @Why_Knott_Me
      @Why_Knott_Me Год назад

      @@PetraVanDeijl I got married (for the first and last time) over the weekend. My husband is 46 and I'll be 28 in 6 weeks. Couldn't be happier and he make life easier as a whole 😌

  • @ohio7738
    @ohio7738 Год назад +2

    Lovely to hear you again dear one. Namaste xx

  • @aharry31
    @aharry31 Год назад

    Hi, Petra. I am so glad that you are back. I have misses your wisdom and perspective on this diabolical issue of dealing with narcissistic personality disordered personalities. Especially that people need to earn to hear my story. When I stated to explain what I had been dealing with, the questionable reactions, avoidance and backlash from relatives and a person who claimed to be like a sister to me sating there are two sides to everything story was unnerving. The revelation of what and who I had been dealing with for more than 20 years sent me into a tailspin in which I wondered who am I after divorce/discard and the utter betrayal of trust. Now I know he had plans for my bad which were based on envy, jealousy, and low self esteem. The need to get close to me was toxic from the beginning. The narcissist had planned all along to try to drive me crazy. It's been almost 6 years still healing emotionally, mentally and physically. Almost died due to many chronic health issues over the years after I allowed him into my life many times, BUT God through Jesus Christ. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Much thanks to you, Petra and your insightful youtubes which he has helped me and others so much.

  • @blessedstar747
    @blessedstar747 Год назад +1

    It's good to see you! You are beautiful. I started my knowledge with you. Thank you so much. You popped up. I had to watch. I'm so much happier. 19 months no contact. I exposed him in court at our last encounter. The judge shut him down.

    • @PetraVanDeijl
      @PetraVanDeijl  Год назад +1

      Wonderful news that he was shut down by the judge!
      You keep doing you. Be blessed ❤

  • @BeeBeeBell
    @BeeBeeBell Год назад +1

    So pleased to see another vid from you. You have been missed❤

  • @Ellelilly8666
    @Ellelilly8666 Год назад

    Thank you for the video Petra. Always feel like a gentle caring friend is at my side offering validation and comfort! 💕

  • @KimberleeMelissa
    @KimberleeMelissa Год назад

    So true! Thank you. It's so nice to see and hear you again.

  • @sb7278
    @sb7278 Год назад

    Another spot on video!! So lovely to hear your calming voice again. 😊💖

  • @fahimad5108
    @fahimad5108 Год назад +2

    Beautiful video! I hope you are doing well Petra❤❤

    • @PetraVanDeijl
      @PetraVanDeijl  Год назад

      Thank you sweet Fahima. I am blessed and grateful. Love and hugs for you and your beautiful family xx

  • @dselectroshock1010
    @dselectroshock1010 Год назад +1

    The psychiatrist I settled a law suit against I exposed on RUclips under ds electroshock.

  • @rmcgarra7
    @rmcgarra7 Год назад

    My ex.said to me "no one would stop me, I could kill u easily."......you know what Ive been thru.

  • @eboneep6354
    @eboneep6354 9 месяцев назад

    Yes stand in your truth,I exposed my ex husband publicly and I cant say I regert it being that I have always had to walk in intergerity my whole life. He has made up lies on me. He calls and text me and i just ignore him because he wants to place the guilt on me so bad but he cant because I don't respond. Now he working hard everyday to convince people he a good man. Idc at this point family and friends who betrayed me some are starting to realize it and the others so ashame and keep their distance.

  • @dwainbrown5141
    @dwainbrown5141 Год назад +1

    Sending you love Petra it is wonderful to see you again !

    • @PetraVanDeijl
      @PetraVanDeijl  Год назад

      Thank you mister Dwain. Wonderful to be back!

  • @michaelk6908
    @michaelk6908 Год назад

    This was so helpful and reassuring. You present beautifully. Thank you Petra.

  • @chrisdheinen
    @chrisdheinen Год назад

    Petra, you nailed it once again. Spot on explanation and very helpful reminders ❤

  • @rubberbiscuit99
    @rubberbiscuit99 Год назад

    This is happening to me right now within my family with respect to a sibling. Just insufferable.

  • @shirleyakpelu1831
    @shirleyakpelu1831 Год назад

    You are telling the truth!

  • @ToxicFree
    @ToxicFree Год назад

    Hey hun, thankyou for this video sweety, take care 💜

    • @PetraVanDeijl
      @PetraVanDeijl  Год назад +1

      You're most welcome Val. Focus on yourself and your own value, leave toxicity behind.

  • @johnmaurer2035
    @johnmaurer2035 Год назад +1

    It's a real can of worms.

  • @terriwhalen3618
    @terriwhalen3618 Год назад

    Best to get out and heal.

  • @Glitteryglows
    @Glitteryglows Год назад

    Hi Petra, you came up into my followers list again! Great to see you’re still helping many out there. How’s you? 🤗

    • @PetraVanDeijl
      @PetraVanDeijl  Год назад

      Wouldn't stop doing this work for anything! I'm blessed!

  • @shirleyakpelu1831
    @shirleyakpelu1831 Год назад

    Thanks for serving us!

  • @ForeverMusicGoldenAgeofViolin
    @ForeverMusicGoldenAgeofViolin Год назад

    Dear Petra, Thank you for your great Video. You are very apreciated. Best wishes and Greetings from the SUNSET 🌄

  • @raewynlowe4830
    @raewynlowe4830 Год назад

    Nice to see you back

  • @aNnAkt1qw
    @aNnAkt1qw Год назад

    Thank you 💗

  • @Miss_Maddam
    @Miss_Maddam Год назад

    I appreciate the Videos

  • @blessedstar747
    @blessedstar747 Год назад

    Take care of yourself. Thank you

  • @justanotherkaren237
    @justanotherkaren237 Год назад +1

    My husband physically attacked me on Sunday and I saw his unadulterated rage - I called the police and now I am facing an end to 30 years of narcissistic abuse - I really needed this video thank you
    I am really interested in one to one therapy how do I get this

    • @PetraVanDeijl
      @PetraVanDeijl  Год назад

      That is not love Karen. Do what you have to do to liberate yourself. Please see my website for one to one coaching www.petravandeijl.com

  • @DOCTORSAMMYBAYA
    @DOCTORSAMMYBAYA 9 месяцев назад

    Good 👍

  • @harryfurlong8267
    @harryfurlong8267 Год назад +1

    Hi petra I hope your well. I wondered if you could do a video on narcissists and gangstalking when you get time

    • @PetraVanDeijl
      @PetraVanDeijl  Год назад +1

      Am well Harry, thank you and I will do.

  • @melodyvovan9205
    @melodyvovan9205 Год назад

    Hi Petra 💗

  • @msboone8796
    @msboone8796 Год назад

    🙏🏾

  • @dianebox9376
    @dianebox9376 Год назад

    I do not share my story except to the few who have been there themselves and to those who know me well.

  • @user-bj3oy6zq8o
    @user-bj3oy6zq8o Год назад

    💜💗💜

  • @coreyparks8959
    @coreyparks8959 Год назад

    😬 PЯӨMӨƧM

  • @nicksanders9148
    @nicksanders9148 Год назад