Based on the fact that people keep telling me that I must be high functioning, it means "the type of support you need is unavailable, so we will pretend you don't need supports."
@@darkcreatureinadarkroom1617 or, in my case, "You're such an intelligent kid, I don't know why you insist on giving me so much trouble by acting like things are hard for you."
I’ve read a good comment about that from somebody else recently: “High functioning means that you have it easy with me, not that I have it easy.” PS: I hate the term high or low functioning, as I believe that our level of functioning is purely dependent on the environment we are in in combination with our particular sensitivities.
No matter how hard I try to mimic being neurotypical, I always gravitate back to being my autistic self. The non autistic is never going to get it. It's like trying to describe the color green to somebody that has never seen. Furthermore, with an increasingly narcissistic world it makes it that much harder for them to understand what we go through.
The neurotypicals have a secret set of rules that they will never share. It is by no means enough to be kind, helpful, caring, clean and tidy. No, there are other subtle and secret things you have to follow to be socially accepted
Neurotypicals aren't normal, or at least they aren't healthy..The problem with this neurotypicals and neurodivergent identification is that people forget that human beings are social animals. We aren't supposed to be alone and isolated no matter what Richard Dawkins or some other asshole says. Whatever autism is, human beings do not develop normally without emotional attachments.
"Everything comes back to the centre" it cost energy to pull away from your core and to maintain it, every-time you relax you will drift back to the centre what ever that may be oddly enough this gives me a lot of comfort ..like i know the tension will pull me back to who i am if i ever get lost
"High functioning" is a quite telling expression. It doesn't mean things are working well for us and we have a happy life. It's just a measurement of how much or little we annoy our NT environment. I'm currently going another round of being vilified at work for what's basically just an autistic response to a less-than-perfect working environment. I've openly asked for help, explained to them what I would need to function in the way they're expecting, and all I get is reprimand, noticeably coming from someone who is generally perceived as helpful, compassionate and generous. SSDD.
If you have an official diagnosis Ask for the accomodations in writing (email) and then when they donʻt provide them, sue them for ADA violations.. a labor lawyer will pursue your case for you with zero payment from you.
Such is the dogma of the corporate world. Don't know where you are, but in my country there are laws about "reasonable accommodation" alongside laws saying we need not declare the type of "disability", thereby creating a black hole of acceptable discrimination against anyone who requests accommodation without disclosing their "disability" for fear of discrimination.
Same here! I'm effectively trapped in my current job because my union protects me from being fired for my autistic traits. But that doesn't stop them from occasionally making my life hell and trying to trick me into slipping up so they would be justified in firing me. I once even had a manager get in my face and intimidate me in hopes of riling me up enough to be able to suspend me without consequence. Recently, I've had multiple instances where a manager told me to stop slacking off and to get to work while I was literally filling out paperwork. 🙄 From what I've been able to figure out, the mistaken assumption that the work I'm doing is not important or necessary is solely based off my body language while I'm doing it? Its wild and frustrating.
I remember a creator sharing their experience. Once they got home, they couldn't take care of themselves, just completely break down upon not being around people to keep up appearances. And people called them high functioning. It doesn't really describe how much you suffer, or how competent you are, but how much you bother the people around you, how noticeable your autism is to them. It's why I hate the terms.
Exactly. Im not even good at masking 🤷🏻♀️ but I speak (too) well and learned to internalize my sensory distress. That's like... The only things that even sets me apart from my "moderate to high support needs" son 😒 Bet they'd knock him down to "level 2" if I had raised him to not stim and just develop severe anxiety to keep from bothering others... And he'd be "level 1" if not for his dyspraxia 🙃 They really, REALLY wanna hold onto that Asperger framework SMDH
I don't really use the term "high functioning" in regards to autism. However, I understand why people use it. It isn't meant to be an insult, nor is it used to make light of your condition. It's used because people who work with people who have autism have worked with people on a variety of spots on the spectrum. We know there are many with autism who function at the level of a child between the ages on 1-3 years of age. So, if you can live on your own, have a job, hold a conversation, use a toilet, etc., they consider you "high functioning by comparison."
The problem with it is that these terms are highly misleading, vague and overly simplistic/binary. Regardless of how it's meant, what the general public think they mean is "high functioning = quirky and non disabled" and "low functioning = unable to have any quality of life whatsoever, no strengths whatsoever, better off dead". Just look at how many people sympathise with the killers of "low functioning" autistic people. Look how often "low functioning" people get denied life saving medical care because of assumptions made about their quality of life. Also, most autistic people don't fit neatly in either box. This binary is also used to silence and throttle self advocacy efforts, the classic, "high functioning can't speak for autistic people because they don't have experience of low functioning autism" (also a myth as many" high functioning" people have "low functioning" family members), and "low functioning can't speak for autistic people because they can't speak / lack insight / are too disabled to know what's good for them" double bind that most autistic people have experienced.
It doesn't matter if it isn't "meant" to be used as an insult or to make light of our condition, that's the effect it actually has, so knock it off. It isn't good for people with high support needs and learning disabilities either as the term "low functioning" tends to lead to underestimation, stereotyping, assumptions and dehumanisation. Say they have high support needs, or learning disabilities or present with challenging behaviour instead. They are more accurate and lead to less assumptions being made.
I’m high functioning. It’s STRESSFUL !! I don’t whine, I don’t complain but boy, I STRUGGLE !! Don’t feel sorry for me, I don’t. Not one little bit. I absolutely LOVE being uniquely myself. I have lived an interesting life and managed to raise a darn happy family. I have 2 awesome adult children and 9 grandchildren. I live BLISSFULLY alone. I’m free to do as I please. It’s wonderful !! I’m 66 years old and diagnosed at 65. My ENTIRE life made sense then. Anywho, I’m a happy camper. If you’re struggling don’t surrender !! You’ll get there.
Yes I feel all my life I've been high functioning until I got married, a home and had two autistic children who also have add. No these days I feel a lot less functioning 😢
Thanks so much for this, Quinn I'm late identified (and a previously) very deeply masked female. Your content is helping me join the dots in terms of my authentic core because my real self is just now emerging. At age 59, I'm finally getting to know who I am and how my system naturally operates without the suppression and contortion. Listening to you feels validating and normalising and supports me in self acceptance. This feels precious and holy. Please keep on keeping on 🙏🏾
@@karenyendall7511 - I was late-diagnosed too: I like your ‘Suppression & Distortion’ terms…. That’s how my personality Had to be every day at the Office 🥴
Nice vid. Let us not assume that high functioning= able to put up with the noise and hyper-socialization that the bulk of neurotypicals are expected to thrive in.
man, I feel the "not being tired until I'm suddenly dead tired" thing. It's part of what got me to go into a severe burnout twice in a row 6-ish years ago. First time it happened, I started feeling a bit better after a while, and people encouraged me to go back to school, so I did, not realizing I was still fully in burnout mode. I burnt out "again" halfway through the school year, but pushed through anyways... and now, I'm literally always dog tired, even 6 years later. My window of "feeling fresh", which used to be unpredictable but could at least last me a whole day, has gone down to 1-3 hours at max. Lots of things are very recognizable in this video honestly, but that one stood out the most. I was considered a high functioning autist for most of my early adult life (only got a diagnosis at 17), but then I crashed so hard I quite literally cannot do what I once could. I still have a lot of the "traits" of a "high functioning autist", and am considered as much by new people when they meet me during my "feeling fresh" moments because I'm very efficient at masking, but it has left me unable to work "normal" jobs because I am always. So. Exhausted. I'm good at masking, sure, but I'm practically falling asleep on my feet half the time. And yet people are always surprised when I tell them this, haha. I'm not fishing for pity, but I've heard many similar stories among my "high functioning" autistic peers. Just wanted to share my own
@@raptorsedge6866 Haha, "fresh" is relative, of course. I don't think it's what most people would call "fresh" but it's as fresh as I can feel, so yeah. "Fresh". God feeling the gender dysphoria thing though. It really only adds to the whole thing, doesn't it?
I relate to this so much! I'll keep it in mind while continuing my battle for official diagnosis and support (if I didnt already have dyspraxia i'd have been hung out to dry), I never realised the fatigue could be a neurodivergence sensory issue. Its just so frustrating how dismissive doctors are, if you dont have a specific thing they think ought to explain the issue they just start ignoring your issues completely
"When you've gone all 'autistamatic' on something" 😂 not only is this the most accurate description of those monotropic states, but also tickled my funny bone because another one of my quirks is creating my own words to describe things and feelings that I am unable to find any actual English words to explain. I so appreciate this video as I share almost every one of these same issues as you and most of them are challenges nobody else sees, so it's always helpful to find other members of the tribe, so thank you❤
I appreciate your tendency to build words for expressing yourself when our native language (English) falls short of adequate. This is also how my own mind works, whether I build a single word, a descriptive phrase, or a metaphor.
As a fellow "high functioning" autistic, I really appreciate you making this video. People see I'm intelligent and articulate, and they have no idea the kinds of struggles I deal with daily, just because I'm good at hiding it. Although, more often, it's just a case of being so socially isolated that no one actually knows anything about my life. They see me in small doses and have no idea what my lived experience is. They just make assumptions about everything they don't see. I could tell them I'm autistic, but as so few people have any understanding of what that actually implies, it's generally not worth it. It's more effective to explain the specific struggles and accommodations I need, than to act as if bundling them together in the package of "autism" will make it more understandable to others. The reality is generally the opposite.
Thank you. I'm not autistic but I've been accused of being autistic simply because I'm a loner and feel uncomfortable in social situations. However, my social awkwardness is due to PTSD. I also have cerebral palsy but some people try to convince me that I don't have cerebral palsy. Instead, they keep coming up with other diagnoses to try to attach to me. I don't fully understand autism but thanks to videos like yours, I'm learning how to tell people, "I'm not autistic because I don't have this and I don't have that and I don't have the other."
I'd prefer "mistaken for" over "accused of" 😂 but I get your point. There's so many conditions and trauma reactions that could be mistaken for autistic traits, but this is a new one to me. I know a couple of people with both, but they had the opposite struggle for recognition.
I have cmt and run into something similar and I'm sorry to say that accused is actually the way that people bring it up. It's not a mistaken for in some of these cases they really try to call you out like an attack which just pisses me off so much because it is so rude to anyone that actually has autism. There are other neurological conditions that are not autism that can have some symptom overlap, so it's an understandable mistake to make but what really bothers me is the way people talk about autism. As far as I can tell most of the greatest achievements in human history have come about because of people who have neurodivergent minds be it autism, ADHD, dyslexia or something we don't even have proper terminology for yet it's the quirky ones that make the difference. So when I hear somebody throwing it around like it's some sort of insult or a problem to be fixed it bothers me. Yes it is difficult to live in this society when you are neurodivergent I am dyslexic and have ADHD in addition to CMT, in fact sometimes it can absolutely suck to be neurodivergent and I can't ever possibly fully understand but it's like for somebody with autism, but it's not autism's fault it's society's fault. We should be making decisions based on what works best for everyone not just the majority. A tiny gain for the majority is not worth the amount of pain it causes for everyone else. And often times it doesn't cost that much to make things accessible for everyone and in the end doing so makes things better for everyone.
This describes me so much. The gastro issues and the migraines have gotten much worse in recent years as I've gotten older. (I'm now 62). I've had to quit my job and seek disability because the migraine is now 24/7 and I can't look at a computer screen. Using my phone right now is taking a toll on me. I was diagnosed at age 58, but it's been obvious to me all my life that something was off about me. One big problem is that when there's a crisis, people think I don't care or don't realize it's a crisis, when I'm actually staying calm so I can deal with the crisis. The more other people lose their heads, the calmer I get in order to balance them out, and that makes them even crazier.
"Sergeant Mode" -- When my emotions go offline so I can assess and take charge of what needs to be done during a crisis. Then, after the danger has passed and I feel safe, my Pressure Relief Valve lets loose and I cry tears of overwhelming relief -- a necessary step before I can revert to default Standby Mode. This is how I described my emotions before learning that I'm Autistic. And now it totally makes sense! 🤗
Omg, the anesthesia at the dentist. Stars very slowly and then half of my face is numb for the rest of the day. Alcohol also only makes me sleepy. As for the "high functioning". I know I need some concept to convey to people why I am not like what they think autism is. But it's true that high functioning is not true cause functioning is an every day battle. However, I think I am fine with "high masking". It describes what I do when I'm around people and that my struggle is mostly invisible to everyone else. I totally agree that it isn't about sympathy. I don't want freebies from people. I would like something like understanding. Even tho I know people will not get 100% of me... even I don't get 100% of me in concepts that are sharable with other humans. I guess I mostly would like less judgement. Few days ago I was talking with my dad and he told me that for most of my life he assumed I am just lazy but now he starts to understand that there is another reason. He used to tell me that I am lazt very often and it hurt me cause I knew it was not true... I just didn't know why I just couldn't do the stuff people just seem to do with not so big amount of effort. Now, since I know why and I talk about it with people around me, even my father understood that there is another reason. And that is totally enough for me. I know he will not feel it - especially since I think my neurodivergence comes mostly from my maternal grandmother. My mom is also most likely neurodivergent but we differ more than me and my grandma. I still remember when I was a kid my grandma told me that she knows my dad is critical of her that there is mess in many parts of her house. And she sees the mess but had to learn to ignore it because she lacks the energy to address it. This is exactly my experience with messy flat right now. Probably what makes it more complex is that it seems that I am AuDHD and my partner most likely is ADHD. Get 2 people who suck at cleaning in such a way that doesn't drain all living energy out of them. I mean I am capable of cleaning stuff so can my partner if the impuls flares at the right moment. If I focus on a thing I will do it perfectly. But there is so many things and so little energy to spare. When I was younger I tried to force thru it. But then I just couldn't anymore. I would like my flat to be clean. But I know throwing more energy into cleaning will not solve this issues. I need to figure out some ways to manage it all enough. Ah yeah, I will stop myself now since I just got into the typical "I can talk about my autism with no end" mode and I would actually like to do something else :D
High pain sensitivity for me at the dentist. Getting them to put me under for "normal" in their eye's procedures (teeth pulling) was me trying to pull teeth... with spaghetti.
You are describing me. It is so familiar to my ADHD. I am trying medication now.(ritalin) If things can be made easier i have to go for it! ps: i basically self diagnosed at 29 went full hyper focus and prepared such a perfect case that my psychiatrist told me to stop talking and it was obvious i had it XD
@@aziouss2863 It is absolutely worth trying. If I had not been overdosed with it as a child, it might have worked for me. As it is, well my drug tolerances are legends among doctors. As is my hypermobility. But at 60 getting a GP to see that this degree of hypermobility is actually a disorder is.. back to pulling teeth with spaghetti.
I loathe the term "high functionin," but I'm also not delighted with "low support needs," either. I mask so hard I didn't even know I was autistic until I was 60, so I never had any support, but that absolutely does not mean I had low support needs? No. It means my needs went unmet for the majority of my life and I had no choice but to suck it up.
Generally speaking, there are either 3 or 4 levels diagnostically speaking. Level 1 is what is generally called low support needs, and levels 2 and 3 are high support needs. But level 1 isn’t NO support needs, it’s LOW support needs. High support needs generally means needing some amount of daily care; for people with level 3 that often means full-time care, needing help with things like bathing, toileting, eating etc. Many are non-verbal, and the vast majority won’t ever be able to work etc. Intellectual disabilities are common. Many level 2 people will need some degree of daily care, and will have carers for a certain number of hours per day, but may be able to otherwise live alone or independently, and may be able to work in a limited setting. Level 1 individuals may need support in terms of extra time in exams, psychological support, and adaptations in the workplace to enable them to thrive. Low support needs is a diagnostic term, and also favoured by a lot of higher support needs folk to distinguish themselves and their communities from level 1 and lower level 2 folk, whose experiences they often cannot relate to, and who frequently can’t really understand the profound levels of disability experienced by people with higher support needs, which is fair enough really. There is a world of difference between the difficulty experienced by people with some support needs who are able to mask when the situation calls for it, and someone who can’t use the bathroom alone, is non-verbal, may be aggressive, is unable to perceive the world outside of their own experiences, cannot mask under any circumstances, etc.
Ha ha ha! I need to remember that! If ever someone says something about a high-functioning autistic, I'll mention that they must be a low-functioning normie.
A great Video, I have always wondered about this term. My "high functioning" masking and coping led to a burnout that by now lasts for about 5 years. It is a very strange term, forsooth. We can overclock ourselves and keep up with allistic people on their ground for a bit, but we damage ourselves in the process. At least that is what I did. This does not seem like a good thing to expect people to do. This sounds a little depressing, so I feel I should mention that I have recovered a little and I do not give up hope.
Thank you so much for this. My 25 year old daughter was recently diagnosed as autistic (no surprise, she'd thought she had autism for years, but she wanted an actual diagnosis). She's a pretty unstoppable person, doing well in her chosen career of musical theatre, and I couldn't be prouder of her. I'm going to bookmark this video for any of her well-meaning relatives who will say she's high-functioning.
Thanks for commenting James and big, heartfelt joy for your daughter. I'm always happy to hear of one of us doing well, but even more when I see they have supportive people alongside them 😊
high function = being great at acting like an NT for a limited time and always hoping the curtain goes down before the mask slips but nobody shouts cut and there is no curtain unless you are alone A lot of things you said could easily describe me and my life and all the things happened to me like my employment history ... Why did you leave your last job? ... me: well actually I didn't leave ..they just decided that my autism isn't hidden enough ... Thank you for the video .. that was a great summary .. Sorry me not so great with words at the moment as I had a really hard day
I am 57 year old man, at the few times a attend family parties i sit with the kids😂 its both more fun and i dont risk laughing at the wrong things or saying something “ inappropriate”😂
Kids! Oh yes, they seem so much "normal" to me than adults! Shame that I have to restrain myself from interacting with them too much, because allistic people always think it's creepy for an adult man... THEY have a dirty mind!
@@Johnny_T779 I found it was better to limit interactions with everyone because apparently saying hello to someone in our NT ruled society makes me not only creepy, but a threat whom they feel they have to kill. I've only ever been allowed to exist if I just stay away. Its lonely, but Im still alive so there's that.
And then they wonder why we have so many comorbid mental health problems 🙄 They're tooooootally not related to how we're treated and expected to mask, of course not.... (/s) Im considered "high functioning" and i cant function at all. I wasnt diagnosed in childhood and i never could adapt and navigate NT social constructs. Between autism and adhd, i could never keep a job but was never allowed accommodations that would have helped me hold onto employment, and becaise i couldnt hold employment, i couldnt get medical treatment and its just spiralled from there into PTSD and chronic onslaught of poverty and little to no prospects of ever seeing a disability check. No, im not "high functioning," nor was i even before developing mental health issues. Now i cant do anything to manage my stimulation needs but sit and look stereotypically autistic, which is also used against me and not feasible for my circumstances without any sort of community or institutional help and just being presumed as simply lacking motivation. Im barely surviving because ive always been assumed "high functioning."
I have run out of a shop when someone greeted me that I was supposed to know. I didn't recognise themm and years afterwards I think I might know who they are supposed to be. People think it's made up or rude. But we can't help it/ I agree with you. I have to know someone for months or years to recognize them. I have many of the issues you have mentioned, but no one seems to believe it. It's frustrating. And constantly feeling like being judged for not performing perfectly is so exhausting.
This is ridiculously helpful, the health issues and how quick people are to be dismissive and nasty yet just as quick to take advantage, so much (if it's the right word) validation!
Hi Quinn! Thank you for your videos! I can relate to so many things you mentioned. As a high masking 49 year old female, most people have no idea I'm autistic. I'm generally at most perceived as weird. But as a child I stood out and was bullied for years. At school, I hated sports, specially anything that involved a ball being thrown at me, like volleyball or handball. I ended up at the school's nurse almost every week with a nosebleed from being hit by a ball. Usually by accident, but it didn't take long before some girls realised I couldn't always catch a ball so they threw the ball at full force straight at my face on purpose. My mother was not sympathetic, she hated being called to come and get me at school because of nosebleeds or crying or being unwell. It was awful to be fetched from school by a mom who didn't make an effort to comfort me or understand. As an adult I can catch a ball, but I'm unable to play any games that require me to hit a ball with a tennis racket, bat or paddle. I can't hit the ball at all, it always fly past me! It's hilarious. Once a colleague at work took for his mission to teach me to play badminton and tennis. He was so patient, I tried so many times, but it was hopeless, I never learned. But on the other hand, I'm fabulous at archery, snooker or things where I'm supposed to shoot/hit a target. I also have great fine motor skills, I'm great at drawing and handcrafts and arts. I don't feel hungry until I'm starving. I don't usually feel thirsty until I really need water. I have gastritis and reflux. I have scoliosis and my muscles are always so tense, that I suffer from back pain and tension migraines regularly. I'm sensitive to smells, lights, certain noises, and I don't feel well at crowded places. I really dislike crowds and busy places. All this has become more intense with age. I also have a lot of trouble remembering and recognising faces, until I have seen the person many times. But I might still not recognise a friend if she changes her hair or her eyebrows. Paradoxically, I recognise very well politicians and artists I have seen on TV or the news. I think maybe it's because I avoid much eye contact when face to face with people I'm not comfortable with. But it's easy to stare at people on TV and photos, so it's easy to memorise and imprint them on my memory. Also, my mind is an interesting world: I am very curious about everything I see, geology, biology, languages, origin of words, and I love studying and investigating things. I love documentaries almost about anything. I have my special interests, but I like learning about almost anything. I enjoy being myself, even though I have few friends and I'm exhausted by sensory overload. Again, thanks for your videos!
Omg! I’m 17 seconds in. I absolutely love the black background with the green circle behind you. It’s all kinds of feel good to the brain 😊. Ok gonna watch the video now. I love your content so much
I've just finished my assessment, the psychologist said that she's giving me an ASD lvl 2 diagnosis. Maybe I was right in thinking that I'm stuck within my own frame of reference to really know the extent of my own autistic traits. The world we see is a mirror of how our minds work (a simulation of the sensory environment). It's incredibly hard to judge yourself when you're limited by your own understanding of the world around you.
Omg the binary states 😅 not hungry to suddenly ravenous etc ...all so relatable! interoception, dyscalculia, monotrposism..all have polarities which impact ones existence highly. Thank you for another video..a great way to illustrate the true struggles and experience of a high masking Autist...🖖
My mother suffers from this and I am sending her this video. I've always wondered why she had to deal with this and I didn't and now I'm starting to understand that she has autism and I don't... Or if I do I'm missing 90% of the symptoms so probably not.
My analogy for "high functioning" autism is eyesight. If someone needs glasses or contact lenses, ask them whether they're "high functioning" with regards to their eyesight. If they say "yes", tell them they aren't allowed to use those lenses, because they're "high functioning". If they say "no", tell them that that clearly means they shouldn't be driving, so they need to give up their driving license. Functioning labels simultaneously hurt both "high functioning" and "low functioning" autistic folks, because "high functioning" folks are refused their support needs and "low functioning" folks are treated as completely incompetent. I identify with a lot of the problems you expressed. In particular, I've said in the past that I don't have a sleep cycle so much as a sleep pogo-stick - horribly unstable and liable to go in wild directions with only minimal disruption.
Right on the money: what they (the normies) call high functioning is actually high masking. And if you dare no longer playing their game, better be prepared to take a beating.
All of this resonates so strongly. Ooph that "didn't realise you're being bullied until you're at the bottom of the food chain" bit though. Every damn time. I either somehow convince myself I'm helping them rather than them taking advantage, or I don't even realise it's happening because I simply can't relate to it. I have no idea how anyone COULD deliberately treat someone badly for fun. Because I can't comprehend it, I simply don't realise it's happening... And then when I FINALLY realise and say "enough" THEY get angry at me for "suddenly being a bitch". It sucks, and it causes a uniquely painful kind of dissonance.
im constantly learning about me and autism , so many things you say make me realise that autism was an issue affecting my life as a child , the hunger think , i never feel hunger just sick when ive left it too late and then struggle to eat , as a child i feinted regularly and needed sugary food quickly to revive , yet ive been tested and tested and im not diabetic , its now almost 5 in afternoon and i havent yet ate my breakfast , im awaiting my diagnosis , been on list 3 years , when i found out , my disability counsillor at dwp , said dave , my mates autistic and he can still work , i had to remind him that im 55 and have worked since age of 16 with autism i havent just caught it ,its infuriating , im probably classed as high functioning , and im far from that description
I take a medication that messes up my hunger sometimes. May I recommend setting a timer to remind yourself to eat and building calorie portions with good nutrition to have handy?
The dysregulation is exhausting, the drug intolerances are terrifying, and it's so hard at times to transition between tasks that require different processing modes. I feel like a freak at times because I don't recognise a person who styled their hair differently. Comedy is not funny, sarcasm is baffling and the constant "polite" lies neuro typical people tell still confuse me. I know that I am as smart as the next person but it's a challenge to not feel stupid a lot of the time. And yes, some folks bully Neuro divergent people, without even knowing that we're neuro divergent. I just don't stay around those types of people now, there are plenty of good people in the world too, fortunately.
The dyscalculia got me! I was at RPI and I begged the physics professor to allow me to take the final orally (this was in 1991). He said to take the test then come to his office. We discussed each problem and he told me that I clearly understood the material but... I got a 47 on the written test and 'until I could put my understanding on paper he could not pass me. ' I was crushed and dropped out.
Yeah.. I was very good at algebra and geometry, but terrible at arithmetics because of my confusion between 2 and 5, 6 and 9... In written form. And I still cannot read very large numbers 😅.
Your videos make me cry. I've only recently discovered being high masking female autistic at 40yrs old....and SO many of your and others daily struggles have been what I've lived with my whole life. And it's been so incredibly validating and helpful. Your video on double empathy was incredibly profound for me. Thank you for putting your self out there and being willing to discuss the reality and diverse side to this way of being.
Mask, code switching, characters, oh my! I'm so unsure of who i am anymore. My interest and energy are so unreliable. I'm ashamed of not meeting expectations and for behaviors i don't really understand. No one has ever been sure what to do with me when i try to explain. I feel like i don't fit anywhere. I'm so exhausted mentally most days hygiene is very challenging. I've off handedly suspected i may be autistic for years, but told myself that the idea was "an excuse" and that if i only try harder, focus more, find a strategy. I guess I'm afraid of accepting that i tried as hard as i could. Thank you for your work, it's given me some guidance.
I was actually diagnosed in 2021. She specifically put "Aspergers" in with the ASD diagnosis. I have to say in the moment it helped me to research where I was on the spectrum. Now I just identify as Autistic. But I think there are times it can confuse other people who have certain expectations of what autism is. And thank you for talking about alexithymia. I really love your use of visual images and humor. :)
There's no fundamental difference between "high" or "low" functioning autism! I remember being in a psych ward for deep depression in my thirties, in my small town where all mental cases were lumped in the same hospital. There was a nonverbal autistic boy, about 14 , there too. He was very expressive in my opinion though, and I was surprised at how nobody understood him even the staff. He flapped his approval or incomfort, made noises and loved music. We quickly became friends. I gained a "little brother" to take care of, and my mood rapidly improved. At last, someone uncomplicated and fun to relate to and communicate with! With anything but words. I ended up being the mediator between him and the staff, it improved his treatment there. When I asked them why on earth it seemed his needs were so clear to me, a staff member suggested I might be autistic myself... years later I was diagnosed. Autistic folks do communicate well with one another, no matter the "level" of autism. What neuotypical people use to classify us is how well we can speak, and how well we can restrain our stims in front of them. I'm glad that the notion of spectrum is more widely accepted now.
Part of the reason I do not tell people I am autistic is because I am so sick of being called high functioning. I actually have pretty significant care needs. Every neurotypical I've met who got to see my full unmasked self has suggested I move back in with my parents because they worry I will not be able to maintain the current life I have, where I am struggling to juggle to meet the bare minimum needs for independence & survival, for more than a few years. (These neurotypicals also often cut contact with me shortly after telling me this because they decided MY autism was too much for THEM to handle.) I didn't learn a lot of the most basic early life skills until my 20s, including verbal communication (I was semi/minimally verbal my entire childhood) and how to brush my teeth. I need assistance when filling out complex paperwork because I can get so confused by the vague phrasing of questions that it triggers a meltdown or shutdown. Most of my time outside of work is spent in bed because I'm simply too exhausted to do anything else. I even regularly skip meals because I do not have the strenth to get out of bed. But one of my strongest skills is masking! Even where other autists pass me in social skills, I am able to pass off my slip-ups as having neurotypical causes such as shyness, anxiety, or having a sheltered childhood. I had abnormally high demands for social conformity as a child. I remember being punished for my "unprofessionalism" at as young as SIX YEARS OLD. This mask, which was forced on me so aggressively and violently at such a young age, has prevented me from accessing diagnosis, accomodations, government assistance, caretakers, etc. People describe me as "barely" autistic, boasting the fact I "don't need" assistance to appear normal as if that's some sort of trophy. When the reality is that I have been drowning for years and nobody will help me until my lack of support starts to literally kill me. When a person calls me high functioning, it tells me they are oblivious to my struggles and pain. They think neurotypical-passing is a badge of honor, when to many of us, its just one of the many barriers preventing us from accessing the support we need to come even close to functioning at the same level as them.
i can understand every thing 10000% i live this daily as well people just dont want to know or understand that these things affect us in this way on top of autism i have ptsd coeliac disease diabeties type 2 fibromyalgia/chronic fatque ibs people just dont get what we go through on a daily basis
You basically put my whole life into words I didn’t know existed. It’s wild growing up thinking you’re the only person in the world that feels this way and finding out it’s a lot more common than you might had hoped for.
Conspiracy time: "High Functioning" is just a Label they try to give us to dissuade us from seeking support (or recieving it), support that would in most cases drastically improve the standard of living for us in modern society near to that of a neurotypical. Because with that "High Functioning" label, it shapes the narrative that there will always be others who are more "deserving" of that support, as we would be somehow capable of dealing with our problems alone (an assesment they often arrive at by merely noting an ability to form coherent sentences in a 1-1 conversation) and that to seek any support, even in cases where accommodations would cost nothing, would be seen as an attempt to take away resources from those more needing of it. Just to be clear, this isn't to diminish those with greater support needs as a result of additional complications alongside autism or other conditions, but rather to say that I don't believe that the answer to managing supply/demand for a limited amount of available support resources is to dissuade people from seeking them, as has been the case in my experience ever since my initial diagnosis, but that it should instead be to invest on building and expanding support capabilities within the health system to be able to actually meet the full demand.
The reality is that this is openly reflected in the funding priorities of "autism charities". The overwhelming majority of all money funded towards autism is for research into genetics, not support. So really, there aren't enough resources to go around, and it's the direct result of funds being appropriated from the government and charitable donations from the public towards research advocating for the elimination of autism, not institutional support.
I agree and disagree. Its true that it is used as a label and in a way of not getting the help u need, its so hard to get autism support in general and those considered "disabled" will always get more funding. However honestly, it is also a viable term. I have met a lot of people on the spectrum at various places and a lot of them i have met really cant function at all and need benefit support or have issues with hygiene, social skills etc. However their is a lot of successful working professionals with Autism and their are many who actually do find making friends easier and getting jobs or opportunities than others... i would say i fit that term well. However the high functioning really comes down to how well u are at masking and not irritate NTs as someone else said in the comments. Other factors such as your family status or background, education level and overall IQ can also play a factor. Their is also an argument tho that many people have actually been misdiagnosed and dont have autism, but may have other neurological issues or mental health traumas. Its complex
Thanks fella, I love your presentations, they are so nicely organised and entertaining. I'm not sure how to deal with any of this, I recently identified, and everything makes sense now. However, I don't think I can be telling people though, not much understanding around these parts.
0:46 That speech-bubble should've been on the astronaut (it's a missed opportunity for a joke). The alien is much taller ("higher") .. so the "high functioning"-phrase would've been hilarious, coming from the small(er) astronaut. It's nice to see, you're back (and that I've already missed a few new episodes, because that means, I can go and binge-watch those .. didn't have that opportunity since I initially found your channel and binged all the videos, back in 2022). Great video, as always :)
I'm autistic and was diagnosed at 15 (just back when they used the term "Asperger's"), but I honestly didn't know that a lot of these things were related to autism. I related to certain things personally but never necessarily thought of them as part of my autism, so hearing this makes me feel a bit less like a screwed-up weirdo. I have also had trouble embracing that aspect of myself because once I finally did get the diagnosis, people used it as a way to control or mistreat me in the past.
A lot of the stuff in this video were things I have been dealing with my whole adult life and I had no idea had any connection to my autism. Not what I expected from the title. Cheers.
My function is high if you need someone to bust some moves, I can usually have a philosophical debate still I spend most my time in my bed cause aaaaaah I cant do things hard hmm oh yeah ive learned stuff here
I had started time stamping similar issues I share with you, but then that turned into simply being almost every symptom you described so I thought it better to just say it is helpful to know others also experience the same things.
So much in common. In my case, I am facing terrible options that make jail look attractive. My disability has driven me out of housing. Not enough to cover my needs. When my medical supplies run out, its unthinkable. I don't know if I can find help. None so far, but the head trauma and the tism definitely interfere with reaching out. I just can't call organizations on the phone spikking out my pain fifteen times a day hoping one of them has a glimmer of possibility. Only to be told I don't fit the parameters for help. I am pretty sure the government still provides the basics in prison and I have noticed that simply shouting at people can be parlayed into a life sentence.
Heavens! I think you did a pretty great job of hitting the nail on the head; faces, mathmatics, forgetting to eat when working a project. If I am out--- carrying a quick change of clothes, packages of cleaning wipes and 2 trash liners. And getting so involved in what I am doing I keep going through the night. I take deep dives into my interests (usually only one or two at a time. I am calm and collected in an emergency but may find myself shaking for hours afterwards. Such an experience leaves me absolutely drained. Wow! Thank you so much!
I am the opposite for some of these, but the same for others. Didn't know about the temperature regulation and facial recognition ... I have those. Used to get teased at school for always going red after 5min of exercise! 😢❤
Can relate a lot to you. I'm 18 and it seems like I'm about to lose my first good job because of social issues. Don't really know what to fix about myself. Coworkers are scared of me and avoid contact, being 6'5 doesn't help with that either.
Being tall and autistic has tripped a few of my friends up. Adding that extra dimension can work against us. I really hope your fears aren't/weren't made real, but whatever happens, it's not "fixing yourself" you need to worry about. "Learning to adapt" maybe, but you're not broken. Working alongside NT colleagues is rarely easy and I never completely mastered it myself, but over the years I found ways of making it easier. I've done a few bits on employment before, but keep your eyes peeled for something more on this topic in coming months.
I had always thought I was NOT alexithymic.. (including after seeing some of your videos about it).. until this short blurb described my whole life. (Insert emoji here)
6:54 This reminds me of an episode of “The Good Doctor” from the final season earlier this year: immediately following the funeral of a member of their surgical department, who was murdered, Shawn is placed in charge of the Emergency Department during a Mass Casualty Event. This is largely because he’s better equipped than anyone else to “set aside” his emotions at that time.
I'm always intrigued by the different experiences with their bodies other autistic people have. I, too, don't quite qualify for a formal Dyspraxia diagnosis, but it often doesn't feel that way. I drop things a LOT. Fortunately, I had a dog through my thirties and early forties who was smart, agile, and fast, who trained my reflexes. Now I often catch those things I've dropped before it's too late. I can play piano and guitar; but I'll never be very good at either, despite many years of experience, because I simply don't have the fine digital dexterity to get there. I've been playing guitar for 45 years and still can't manage a bar chord. Or a basketball layup, for that matter. I also have trouble synching movements I have to think about with singing, so it took a long time for me to learn to just strum the minimum number of chords, and that it wouldn't be smooth playing until I knew the lyrics backward and forward-which also takes me a long time. Some friends got me into drama in high school, but mostly due to me, the Diary of Ann Frank sometimes came off as a comedy. I mean, it wasn't my fault the cake was left on the table for several scenes, but it was my fault when I started performing a completely different scene at the table. Then I thought I could be Theseus in A Midsummer Night's Dream-I really wanted to-but I couldn't learn the lines and act at the same time. To remember my lines, I needed to be able to visualize the text-which I could do, but it put my mind in the wrong space to simultaneously pull off acting. So the stress of it turned into a block preventing me from getting any better at it at all. Visual memory is my strength, while audio is my weakness. I also don't really think in language but in sensory "images" and concepts. My visual memories don't really change with time until I try to process them through another part of my brain, such as trying to describe a mental picture in language. I don't have a photographic memory for details, but with some effort I can look at an image for longer to devote more memory to it. As such, I used to invoke my visual memory of spelling/vocabulary assignments to scope with the in-class tests; and often my definitions and sample sentences were exactly the same as my homework version of the full list. That's why I THOUGHT I could be an actore, but it turned out I couldn't conjure the script images and act at the same time. Sadly, I didn't discover the technique early enough in life for all the recitation tests, such as the "I have a dream" speech or the preamble to the US Constitution (and despite Schoolhouse Rock). I seldom get lost, though, because I can spend hours looking (and replicating) maps-nowadays more often satellite images. I figured that was only my obsession with maps-collecting, staring at them, drawing from memory or imagination, inadvertently developing pretty strong urban planning skills by trial and error and logic. Many a night I have gotten lost in Google Earth only to discover it was 3 or 4am. Lately, I have been trying to use navigation apps on my iPhone and car dashboard. But they drive me nuts. I misunderstand direction, tune parts of it out (I'm AuDHD). I'm trying different voices, which seems to help some. It messes with my direction sense, though, which usually is awesome. My first day out, I got confused in nearby city several times-a city I knew pretty well. Now that I've been using them for six weeks, I'm back to perusing maps AHEAD of time, so they don't confuse me quite so easily; AND, I hardly ever use the PoV rotation feature. I'm also a VERY HSP (highly sensitive person), oddly enough, made more so after recovering from intensive chemo therapy a dozen years ago. Long before I'd heard the term, I made fun of myself as the Princess and the Pea, or a member of the House of Usher. It also has proven to be why I don't like foods and objects (chemically coated, usually) that have turned out to be harmful: I'm the canary in the coalmine, getting rashes for touching bare skin to the carpet, GI getting out of whack for eating nearly any processed food manufactured in the USA. Of course, that also turned out to be an allium sensitivity (garlic, onions, chives, leeks, etc). So many, many quirks that all turn out to be most common among autistic or HSP persons. Even so, I wasn't self-diagnosed until about age 52, and formally diagnosed earlier this year at age 55. Bipolar Disorder II, ADHD, HSP, CPTSD for being raised by narcissist mother and grandmother ALL failed to describe my total existence. SO much therapy. Autism finished the puzzle. Now everything that's ever been unusual or difficult in my life makes sense in context.
I have decent fine motor skills, but walking is a challenge. I always always have bruises and mostly don't know where they came from. Thanks for making videos, I'm self diagnosed for now, but having people explain how they feel helps me understand myself. I'm in the middle of burnout right now, life is hard and this helps a lot. Knowing I'm not alone in these experiences and this frustration. Regarding the spectrum: Yeah, we have a spectrum in my house. I require less help then my daughter. She is what I thought autism was until I experienced a major shutdown when my husband was on his last days before he passed.
This was a very interesting case study of one autist. Hopefully, it encourages other self-aware and well-informed autists to publish their own case studies. DSM 6 is yet to be released but it will probably be the last DSM to be solely "expert" driven. DSM 7 and later will be more AI authored and that AI will draw information from all available sources including videos like this one. "Expert" understanding of autism, and neurodivergence in general, still has a long way to go. Thank you for pushing our understanding one step closer to where it needs to be.
Thanks for this Quinn. I’m late diagnosed at 56 (60 now). No support where I live. I’ve had appalling mental health all my life. I hate the term “high functioning”. Like you said people don’t see what’s going on inside. High functioning actually means low functioning (inside), high masking, (outside). I was also diagnosed with complex PTSD because of the trauma of trying to get through life as a low functioning high masking Autistic with severe ADHD as well. I just want to be alone now. 😢
A lot of those things are indeed very relatable. Quite interesting to hear actually because I haven't really linked some of these symptoms to autism at all, such as the rather binary interoseptic responses and gut issues and an atypical response to alcohol, sedatives or such.
I've never realized that many of these things had anything to do with my autism. I'm a 49 year old recently diagnosed woman, and have been trying to work through not being on the psych meds I've been on for 35 years. Thanks for your video. ♥️
Sitting here just shaking my head. Local Anesthesia doesn't work for me, can't remember faces & can only do math in my head, among many other things you mentioned. & to think a psychologist actually said "These days, everybody's on the spectrum." What a copout. It is real. You are real. I know because I live it
Holy crap! There's so much on this list that I didn't know was correlated with ASD. Almost every point you hit was something I could relate to deeply. The face blindness, the lack of interoception, (I'm never hungry), the wonky memory, every thing!
This is the best help ive seen since diagnosis 4 years ago. Im in my 50s and still stuggling with the everyday. This has put into words alot of things i couldnt explain to others so thank you.
oooooooo dip in emotional intensity when emotions get to a certain intensity... thank you so much for that wording. I tend to run more toward emotions that run extra high and multiple emotions at a time, but I also have this thing where emotions get too high and a sort of time-delay safety feature kicks in, so that I don't access the emotions and then they ambush me later when I feel safer.
I was surprised of how many things I could recognize in myself. It's really easy to belittle why life is so hard for me most of the time, when I know how lucky I am in many ways. Thank you for the video ❤
I'm so glad to be hearing people talk about Alexithymia because I found out about it after my DX, and I felt it so much but was always too worried to try to find a therapist about it haha. The whole of this video is TOO REAL.
Even though I was diagnosed with high functioning autism, I haven't really experienced aphantasia. If anything, my imagination is MORE active than normal. I can visualize a number of things. It's led to difficulty in perceiving what is real, though. Additionally, I continually question if it's me that has impossible standards, or if everyone else does. (a side effect of monotropism: everything has to be perfect or else) I've gradually come to realize why certain standards exist, but I still disagree with a number of them. Otherwise, I have experienced a lot of what's in here, but I think I've gotten better about it. The most problems anyone had with me was random fits, which I haven't really had since I was in high school. I once had behavior that was similar to being drunk, but I was actually suicidal, so it was more that I didn't really care. Someone once told me I actually LOOK anxious. I don't know how it is I come off that way, other than I could be manifesting the continual worry I feel, even if my mind is seeing the other side of it. ...Something that makes me feel like I'm stronger than I am. I also have difficulty in knowing how anyone can be so certain about anything without having logic behind it. If only I knew the term for essentially worrying too much about everything! I've been trying very hard to get myself to focus on something that other people would think is worth it. I KNOW that is different things for everyone. Regardless, it's nice to know that even for me, it could've been worse. I don't think I can ever truly be counted as "normal", but at least I can persuade myself that I at least APPEAR normal. That demands that you think a random person walking by is normal.
The vivid and potentially intrusive visual imagination you describe has a name too: "hyperphantasia". I've met a few hyperphantasic people recently and it's been an interesting introduction.
@@Autistamaticthat’s the only thing on your list that was different for me too - I have hyperfantasia, which can be both cool and terrifying. (Like for example, horror films are totally out for me!) Yet when I finally had a chance for diagnosis, the dr said that in addition to my ADHD I’m just “too smart” - which was based on “being able to make eye contact” (which I told her was difficult and that I had worked on since I was a child). I was also deemed not autistic because I am “pleasant to talk to” and “had a sense of humor”. On behalf of all autists, I’m deeply offended that she used stereotypes as diagnostic criteria - I think you display a wonderful sense of humor, as do most autistic people I know! Sadly, after so many years of masking I don’t even know how to drop it when talking to a stranger, but I was blown away by this, especially when I saw the written report which accused me of “exaggerating my symptoms”. 😳 Make it make sense! How is someone’s observations of you on the outside more important than your internal experience in these matters? It seems analogous to the “high functioning” label. As you were saying, people only see you at your best, but for a psychiatrist to do this is mind-blowing and I am still trying to process the whole weird experience.
Listening to this video was quite liberating. I got my diagnosis 2 years back, at 58. I haven't landed yet. The clear descriptions of the sub-syndromes mentioned here made me realise they will help me better understand "high strangeness" in my life.
Hi Sir. It is for sure a very interesting video in Many ways. Speaking about you, about your struggles and speaking about WHO you really are and WE really are like this. I appreciate your ability to share this everything of thoughts about your way of proceeding upstairs, it must have take you a while and a lot of faillures i guess. I Fully understand WHO you are and i would like to encourage you to Stay so, nobody shiuld need to change for others people appreciations.
I am looking forward to this one, but right up front, the first thing that comes to my mind, is 'high coping' autist. Why doesn't anyone say THAT!? High Functioning means less annoying Alexithymia! Yes, that. Had not connected the dots until you described it. Ask how I feel and I instantly stop feeling and go into an analytical mode. Then I kind of feel nothing.... "Is that what you expected?" I find it interesting you described many of my experiences perfectly, from gut to coordination, and I'm a 59 year old female. I keep hearing autism is quite different in women than in men, but not the way you are describing it isn't.
Thank you so much for the video! It was so relatable, and is nice having all of those experiences and sensations finally being put into words I can actually use to explain things to people. And the part about not getting hungry, that really resonated with me. Many times I will completely forget to eat my lunch because I don't get hungry, which is why I prefer to carry things that don't rot like energy bars or things like that. That way I will be able to keep them in my backpack and eat them whenever I am ready, even days later. 😁
When I was diagnosed, the term at the time they used was "Severe high functioning autism". I try to work with people in the way they are accustomed to but it isn't always possible, especially not at a high cost to myself. Balancing the cost of engagement with my own capacity each day to choose what to engage with and what to avoid can be frustrating when there is a lot of external pressure to ignore my own well being to live up to expectations and little understanding for my position.
Iv been suspecting that im autistic and it sure would explain alot...lol Thank you for sharing 💚💚 You even taught me a few words that I didn't know about that I've been looking for!! Wish I'd known of them YEARS AGO!!!!
Things I never understood about myself, I now realize some of what you experience are also my traits. It is because of people like you Quinn and others on RUclips that are strong enough to face the trolls better than I can, that help me understand my diagnosis better with every youtube an autist/AuDHD/ADHD published.
I can relate to everything you talked about in this video. I being what people call us high functioning still has its long list of problems to over come and unfortunately neurotypical people often dont know what goes on behinds our closed doors and masking do they. Thanks as always Quinn for taking the time to put this out there much appreciated 👍
Based on the fact that people keep telling me that I must be high functioning, it means "the type of support you need is unavailable, so we will pretend you don't need supports."
Funny that. Reminds me of the french aproach to a certain 19 disease.
To me it sounds similar to a parent saying to (or about) their child: "you're such a good kid, you hardly give me any trouble at all!"
@@darkcreatureinadarkroom1617 or, in my case, "You're such an intelligent kid, I don't know why you insist on giving me so much trouble by acting like things are hard for you."
No. Just no. @@reedy_9619
@@marieugorek5917 that's... Yikes. I'm so sorry that's the way you got treated as a child 😞
I’ve read a good comment about that from somebody else recently: “High functioning means that you have it easy with me, not that I have it easy.”
PS: I hate the term high or low functioning, as I believe that our level of functioning is purely dependent on the environment we are in in combination with our particular sensitivities.
No matter how hard I try to mimic being neurotypical, I always gravitate back to being my autistic self. The non autistic is never going to get it. It's like trying to describe the color green to somebody that has never seen. Furthermore, with an increasingly narcissistic world it makes it that much harder for them to understand what we go through.
The neurotypicals have a secret set of rules that they will never share. It is by no means enough to be kind, helpful, caring, clean and tidy. No, there are other subtle and secret things you have to follow to be socially accepted
Neurotypicals aren't normal, or at least they aren't healthy..The problem with this neurotypicals and neurodivergent identification is that people forget that human beings are social animals. We aren't supposed to be alone and isolated no matter what Richard Dawkins or some other asshole says. Whatever autism is, human beings do not develop normally without emotional attachments.
and what is it that you do thats so weird that it needs explaining ?
"Everything comes back to the centre" it cost energy to pull away from your core and to maintain it, every-time you relax you will drift back to the centre what ever that may be oddly enough this gives me a lot of comfort ..like i know the tension will pull me back to who i am if i ever get lost
@@catnium It is about safety. Look at your comment for example, the very first thing you assume is that the person is weird.
I hate being 'high functioning', it means people expect me to do the same things as a neurotypical with little reprieve or consideration.
That, or you have to be superman or superwoman 🤯
"High functioning" is a quite telling expression. It doesn't mean things are working well for us and we have a happy life. It's just a measurement of how much or little we annoy our NT environment. I'm currently going another round of being vilified at work for what's basically just an autistic response to a less-than-perfect working environment. I've openly asked for help, explained to them what I would need to function in the way they're expecting, and all I get is reprimand, noticeably coming from someone who is generally perceived as helpful, compassionate and generous. SSDD.
If you have an official diagnosis Ask for the accomodations in writing (email) and then when they donʻt provide them, sue them for ADA violations.. a labor lawyer will pursue your case for you with zero payment from you.
"It's just a measurement of how much or little we annoy our NT environment." OOF
Seems accurate
Such is the dogma of the corporate world. Don't know where you are, but in my country there are laws about "reasonable accommodation" alongside laws saying we need not declare the type of "disability", thereby creating a black hole of acceptable discrimination against anyone who requests accommodation without disclosing their "disability" for fear of discrimination.
I like how you said a measure of how much or little we annoy the NT environment 😊
Same here! I'm effectively trapped in my current job because my union protects me from being fired for my autistic traits. But that doesn't stop them from occasionally making my life hell and trying to trick me into slipping up so they would be justified in firing me. I once even had a manager get in my face and intimidate me in hopes of riling me up enough to be able to suspend me without consequence. Recently, I've had multiple instances where a manager told me to stop slacking off and to get to work while I was literally filling out paperwork. 🙄 From what I've been able to figure out, the mistaken assumption that the work I'm doing is not important or necessary is solely based off my body language while I'm doing it? Its wild and frustrating.
I remember a creator sharing their experience. Once they got home, they couldn't take care of themselves, just completely break down upon not being around people to keep up appearances. And people called them high functioning. It doesn't really describe how much you suffer, or how competent you are, but how much you bother the people around you, how noticeable your autism is to them. It's why I hate the terms.
Oh, that is a really good explanation.
That reminds me of me😮
You said it perfectly. Thanks
Yep, I'm the same. 👍
Word. I've read that "mild autism" just means "mild for the others". That's pretty much what you describe too.
"Hi functioning autism" means you are masking well enough that your support needs are invisible so that others can ignore them.
Exactly.
Im not even good at masking 🤷🏻♀️ but I speak (too) well and learned to internalize my sensory distress. That's like... The only things that even sets me apart from my "moderate to high support needs" son 😒
Bet they'd knock him down to "level 2" if I had raised him to not stim and just develop severe anxiety to keep from bothering others... And he'd be "level 1" if not for his dyspraxia 🙃
They really, REALLY wanna hold onto that Asperger framework SMDH
couldn't have said it better myself. it's a nightmare existence.
I don't really use the term "high functioning" in regards to autism. However, I understand why people use it.
It isn't meant to be an insult, nor is it used to make light of your condition. It's used because people who work with people who have autism have worked with people on a variety of spots on the spectrum. We know there are many with autism who function at the level of a child between the ages on 1-3 years of age.
So, if you can live on your own, have a job, hold a conversation, use a toilet, etc., they consider you "high functioning by comparison."
The problem with it is that these terms are highly misleading, vague and overly simplistic/binary. Regardless of how it's meant, what the general public think they mean is "high functioning = quirky and non disabled" and "low functioning = unable to have any quality of life whatsoever, no strengths whatsoever, better off dead". Just look at how many people sympathise with the killers of "low functioning" autistic people. Look how often "low functioning" people get denied life saving medical care because of assumptions made about their quality of life. Also, most autistic people don't fit neatly in either box. This binary is also used to silence and throttle self advocacy efforts, the classic, "high functioning can't speak for autistic people because they don't have experience of low functioning autism" (also a myth as many" high functioning" people have "low functioning" family members), and "low functioning can't speak for autistic people because they can't speak / lack insight / are too disabled to know what's good for them" double bind that most autistic people have experienced.
It doesn't matter if it isn't "meant" to be used as an insult or to make light of our condition, that's the effect it actually has, so knock it off. It isn't good for people with high support needs and learning disabilities either as the term "low functioning" tends to lead to underestimation, stereotyping, assumptions and dehumanisation. Say they have high support needs, or learning disabilities or present with challenging behaviour instead. They are more accurate and lead to less assumptions being made.
I’m high functioning. It’s STRESSFUL !! I don’t whine, I don’t complain but boy, I STRUGGLE !! Don’t feel sorry for me, I don’t. Not one little bit. I absolutely LOVE being uniquely myself. I have lived an interesting life and managed to raise a darn happy family. I have 2 awesome adult children and 9 grandchildren. I live BLISSFULLY alone. I’m free to do as I please. It’s wonderful !! I’m 66 years old and diagnosed at 65. My ENTIRE life made sense then. Anywho, I’m a happy camper. If you’re struggling don’t surrender !! You’ll get there.
Thank you for the insight about being happy alone.
Yesss this, so much this!! Don't surrender, you can do it!! ❤
People are high functioning.... until they aren't....
True that.
Which can happen many times throughout the day.
Yup, I crashed hard at 35 and still can’t function how I used to. A full time corporate job destroyed my ability to mask.
Yes I feel all my life I've been high functioning until I got married, a home and had two autistic children who also have add. No these days I feel a lot less functioning 😢
@@chapachuuunfortunately that's how I feel about having my family. Life can be fun but tremendously hard now.
Thanks so much for this, Quinn
I'm late identified (and a previously) very deeply masked female.
Your content is helping me join the dots in terms of my authentic core because my real self is just now emerging.
At age 59, I'm finally getting to know who I am and how my system naturally operates without the suppression and contortion.
Listening to you feels validating and normalising and supports me in self acceptance.
This feels precious and holy.
Please keep on keeping on 🙏🏾
🤯I’m in the same boat!! always suspected, but not confirmed until this year! Still in the grieving phase off & on…
@@karenyendall7511 - I was late-diagnosed too: I like your ‘Suppression & Distortion’ terms…. That’s how my personality Had to be every day at the Office 🥴
Nice vid. Let us not assume that high functioning= able to put up with the noise and hyper-socialization that the bulk of neurotypicals are expected to thrive in.
man, I feel the "not being tired until I'm suddenly dead tired" thing. It's part of what got me to go into a severe burnout twice in a row 6-ish years ago. First time it happened, I started feeling a bit better after a while, and people encouraged me to go back to school, so I did, not realizing I was still fully in burnout mode. I burnt out "again" halfway through the school year, but pushed through anyways... and now, I'm literally always dog tired, even 6 years later. My window of "feeling fresh", which used to be unpredictable but could at least last me a whole day, has gone down to 1-3 hours at max.
Lots of things are very recognizable in this video honestly, but that one stood out the most. I was considered a high functioning autist for most of my early adult life (only got a diagnosis at 17), but then I crashed so hard I quite literally cannot do what I once could. I still have a lot of the "traits" of a "high functioning autist", and am considered as much by new people when they meet me during my "feeling fresh" moments because I'm very efficient at masking, but it has left me unable to work "normal" jobs because I am always. So. Exhausted. I'm good at masking, sure, but I'm practically falling asleep on my feet half the time.
And yet people are always surprised when I tell them this, haha. I'm not fishing for pity, but I've heard many similar stories among my "high functioning" autistic peers. Just wanted to share my own
Wait, you can feel fresh again? I've just been tired my entire existence past puberty, but that could just be the gender dysphoria.
@@raptorsedge6866 Haha, "fresh" is relative, of course. I don't think it's what most people would call "fresh" but it's as fresh as I can feel, so yeah. "Fresh".
God feeling the gender dysphoria thing though. It really only adds to the whole thing, doesn't it?
I relate to this so much! I'll keep it in mind while continuing my battle for official diagnosis and support (if I didnt already have dyspraxia i'd have been hung out to dry), I never realised the fatigue could be a neurodivergence sensory issue.
Its just so frustrating how dismissive doctors are, if you dont have a specific thing they think ought to explain the issue they just start ignoring your issues completely
I don't have a diagnosis, but relate to this video a lot. I told my therapist most of the time I'm not depressed, I'm just tired. He didn't get it.
"When you've gone all 'autistamatic' on something" 😂 not only is this the most accurate description of those monotropic states, but also tickled my funny bone because another one of my quirks is creating my own words to describe things and feelings that I am unable to find any actual English words to explain.
I so appreciate this video as I share almost every one of these same issues as you and most of them are challenges nobody else sees, so it's always helpful to find other members of the tribe, so thank you❤
I appreciate your tendency to build words for expressing yourself when our native language (English) falls short of adequate. This is also how my own mind works, whether I build a single word, a descriptive phrase, or a metaphor.
@@rebeccamay6420 ah yes! Another one of our "quoibles" 🤣
As a fellow "high functioning" autistic, I really appreciate you making this video. People see I'm intelligent and articulate, and they have no idea the kinds of struggles I deal with daily, just because I'm good at hiding it. Although, more often, it's just a case of being so socially isolated that no one actually knows anything about my life. They see me in small doses and have no idea what my lived experience is. They just make assumptions about everything they don't see. I could tell them I'm autistic, but as so few people have any understanding of what that actually implies, it's generally not worth it. It's more effective to explain the specific struggles and accommodations I need, than to act as if bundling them together in the package of "autism" will make it more understandable to others. The reality is generally the opposite.
Thank you. I'm not autistic but I've been accused of being autistic simply because I'm a loner and feel uncomfortable in social situations. However, my social awkwardness is due to PTSD. I also have cerebral palsy but some people try to convince me that I don't have cerebral palsy. Instead, they keep coming up with other diagnoses to try to attach to me.
I don't fully understand autism but thanks to videos like yours, I'm learning how to tell people, "I'm not autistic because I don't have this and I don't have that and I don't have the other."
I'd prefer "mistaken for" over "accused of" 😂 but I get your point. There's so many conditions and trauma reactions that could be mistaken for autistic traits, but this is a new one to me. I know a couple of people with both, but they had the opposite struggle for recognition.
Oh dont you just love those ones? They're the ones who usually come up with their own diagnoses too!
I have cmt and run into something similar and I'm sorry to say that accused is actually the way that people bring it up. It's not a mistaken for in some of these cases they really try to call you out like an attack which just pisses me off so much because it is so rude to anyone that actually has autism. There are other neurological conditions that are not autism that can have some symptom overlap, so it's an understandable mistake to make but what really bothers me is the way people talk about autism. As far as I can tell most of the greatest achievements in human history have come about because of people who have neurodivergent minds be it autism, ADHD, dyslexia or something we don't even have proper terminology for yet it's the quirky ones that make the difference. So when I hear somebody throwing it around like it's some sort of insult or a problem to be fixed it bothers me. Yes it is difficult to live in this society when you are neurodivergent I am dyslexic and have ADHD in addition to CMT, in fact sometimes it can absolutely suck to be neurodivergent and I can't ever possibly fully understand but it's like for somebody with autism, but it's not autism's fault it's society's fault. We should be making decisions based on what works best for everyone not just the majority. A tiny gain for the majority is not worth the amount of pain it causes for everyone else. And often times it doesn't cost that much to make things accessible for everyone and in the end doing so makes things better for everyone.
This describes me so much. The gastro issues and the migraines have gotten much worse in recent years as I've gotten older.
(I'm now 62). I've had to quit my job and seek disability because the migraine is now 24/7 and I can't look at a computer screen. Using my phone right now is taking a toll on me. I was diagnosed at age 58, but it's been obvious to me all my life that something was off about me. One big problem is that when there's a crisis, people think I don't care or don't realize it's a crisis, when I'm actually staying calm so I can deal with the crisis. The more other people lose their heads, the calmer I get in order to balance them out, and that makes them even crazier.
"Sergeant Mode" -- When my emotions go offline so I can assess and take charge of what needs to be done during a crisis. Then, after the danger has passed and I feel safe, my Pressure Relief Valve lets loose and I cry tears of overwhelming relief -- a necessary step before I can revert to default Standby Mode.
This is how I described my emotions before learning that I'm Autistic. And now it totally makes sense! 🤗
I feel you. People generally dislike calm in the midst of their chaos.
Omg, the anesthesia at the dentist. Stars very slowly and then half of my face is numb for the rest of the day. Alcohol also only makes me sleepy.
As for the "high functioning". I know I need some concept to convey to people why I am not like what they think autism is. But it's true that high functioning is not true cause functioning is an every day battle. However, I think I am fine with "high masking". It describes what I do when I'm around people and that my struggle is mostly invisible to everyone else. I totally agree that it isn't about sympathy. I don't want freebies from people. I would like something like understanding. Even tho I know people will not get 100% of me... even I don't get 100% of me in concepts that are sharable with other humans. I guess I mostly would like less judgement.
Few days ago I was talking with my dad and he told me that for most of my life he assumed I am just lazy but now he starts to understand that there is another reason. He used to tell me that I am lazt very often and it hurt me cause I knew it was not true... I just didn't know why I just couldn't do the stuff people just seem to do with not so big amount of effort. Now, since I know why and I talk about it with people around me, even my father understood that there is another reason. And that is totally enough for me. I know he will not feel it - especially since I think my neurodivergence comes mostly from my maternal grandmother. My mom is also most likely neurodivergent but we differ more than me and my grandma. I still remember when I was a kid my grandma told me that she knows my dad is critical of her that there is mess in many parts of her house. And she sees the mess but had to learn to ignore it because she lacks the energy to address it. This is exactly my experience with messy flat right now. Probably what makes it more complex is that it seems that I am AuDHD and my partner most likely is ADHD. Get 2 people who suck at cleaning in such a way that doesn't drain all living energy out of them. I mean I am capable of cleaning stuff so can my partner if the impuls flares at the right moment. If I focus on a thing I will do it perfectly. But there is so many things and so little energy to spare. When I was younger I tried to force thru it. But then I just couldn't anymore. I would like my flat to be clean. But I know throwing more energy into cleaning will not solve this issues. I need to figure out some ways to manage it all enough.
Ah yeah, I will stop myself now since I just got into the typical "I can talk about my autism with no end" mode and I would actually like to do something else :D
High pain sensitivity for me at the dentist. Getting them to put me under for "normal" in their eye's procedures (teeth pulling) was me trying to pull teeth... with spaghetti.
You are describing me.
It is so familiar to my ADHD.
I am trying medication now.(ritalin)
If things can be made easier i have to go for it!
ps: i basically self diagnosed at 29 went full hyper focus and prepared such a perfect case that my psychiatrist told me to stop talking and it was obvious i had it XD
@@aziouss2863 It is absolutely worth trying. If I had not been overdosed with it as a child, it might have worked for me. As it is, well my drug tolerances are legends among doctors. As is my hypermobility. But at 60 getting a GP to see that this degree of hypermobility is actually a disorder is.. back to pulling teeth with spaghetti.
I love the whole "high masking" notion. It so very applies to every interaction.
I loathe the term "high functionin," but I'm also not delighted with "low support needs," either. I mask so hard I didn't even know I was autistic until I was 60, so I never had any support, but that absolutely does not mean I had low support needs? No. It means my needs went unmet for the majority of my life and I had no choice but to suck it up.
Generally speaking, there are either 3 or 4 levels diagnostically speaking. Level 1 is what is generally called low support needs, and levels 2 and 3 are high support needs. But level 1 isn’t NO support needs, it’s LOW support needs. High support needs generally means needing some amount of daily care; for people with level 3 that often means full-time care, needing help with things like bathing, toileting, eating etc. Many are non-verbal, and the vast majority won’t ever be able to work etc. Intellectual disabilities are common. Many level 2 people will need some degree of daily care, and will have carers for a certain number of hours per day, but may be able to otherwise live alone or independently, and may be able to work in a limited setting. Level 1 individuals may need support in terms of extra time in exams, psychological support, and adaptations in the workplace to enable them to thrive. Low support needs is a diagnostic term, and also favoured by a lot of higher support needs folk to distinguish themselves and their communities from level 1 and lower level 2 folk, whose experiences they often cannot relate to, and who frequently can’t really understand the profound levels of disability experienced by people with higher support needs, which is fair enough really. There is a world of difference between the difficulty experienced by people with some support needs who are able to mask when the situation calls for it, and someone who can’t use the bathroom alone, is non-verbal, may be aggressive, is unable to perceive the world outside of their own experiences, cannot mask under any circumstances, etc.
Many Neurotypicals are "High Functioning" also 🤷🏻♂️
We've all had to deal with Neurotypicals on the lower end of their spectrum 🙊
I may feel compelled to ask certain people if they are high functioning or low functioning neurotypical...
Ha ha ha! I need to remember that! If ever someone says something about a high-functioning autistic, I'll mention that they must be a low-functioning normie.
Not sure why but the wording of the second sentence gives me the ick.
I'm high masking, not high functioning. Shit life syndrome has severely limited my executive function.
Shit life syndrome. Lol. 😢
A great Video, I have always wondered about this term. My "high functioning" masking and coping led to a burnout that by now lasts for about 5 years. It is a very strange term, forsooth. We can overclock ourselves and keep up with allistic people on their ground for a bit, but we damage ourselves in the process. At least that is what I did. This does not seem like a good thing to expect people to do.
This sounds a little depressing, so I feel I should mention that I have recovered a little and I do not give up hope.
Overclocking is a great way to describe it.
Thank you so much for this. My 25 year old daughter was recently diagnosed as autistic (no surprise, she'd thought she had autism for years, but she wanted an actual diagnosis). She's a pretty unstoppable person, doing well in her chosen career of musical theatre, and I couldn't be prouder of her. I'm going to bookmark this video for any of her well-meaning relatives who will say she's high-functioning.
Thanks for commenting James and big, heartfelt joy for your daughter. I'm always happy to hear of one of us doing well, but even more when I see they have supportive people alongside them 😊
I love the King Harkanian pfp.
high function = being great at acting like an NT for a limited time and always hoping the curtain goes down before the mask slips but nobody shouts cut and there is no curtain unless you are alone
A lot of things you said could easily describe me and my life and all the things happened to me like my employment history ... Why did you leave your last job? ... me: well actually I didn't leave ..they just decided that my autism isn't hidden enough ... Thank you for the video .. that was a great summary .. Sorry me not so great with words at the moment as I had a really hard day
You OK. Words worked good enough😉
I am 57 year old man, at the few times a attend family parties i sit with the kids😂 its both more fun and i dont risk laughing at the wrong things or saying something “ inappropriate”😂
Kids! Oh yes, they seem so much "normal" to me than adults! Shame that I have to restrain myself from interacting with them too much, because allistic people always think it's creepy for an adult man... THEY have a dirty mind!
@@Johnny_T779 I found it was better to limit interactions with everyone because apparently saying hello to someone in our NT ruled society makes me not only creepy, but a threat whom they feel they have to kill. I've only ever been allowed to exist if I just stay away. Its lonely, but Im still alive so there's that.
I feel for you too.
They’re loads more fun
Just grab a book to read to them and do character voices kids love that and the adults won’t find it creepy they’ll realise your entertaining the kids
@13:47 - recognizing someone in context. "Context Blindness" descriptions of autism, and how we process context differently.
And then they wonder why we have so many comorbid mental health problems 🙄 They're tooooootally not related to how we're treated and expected to mask, of course not.... (/s)
Im considered "high functioning" and i cant function at all. I wasnt diagnosed in childhood and i never could adapt and navigate NT social constructs. Between autism and adhd, i could never keep a job but was never allowed accommodations that would have helped me hold onto employment, and becaise i couldnt hold employment, i couldnt get medical treatment and its just spiralled from there into PTSD and chronic onslaught of poverty and little to no prospects of ever seeing a disability check. No, im not "high functioning," nor was i even before developing mental health issues.
Now i cant do anything to manage my stimulation needs but sit and look stereotypically autistic, which is also used against me and not feasible for my circumstances without any sort of community or institutional help and just being presumed as simply lacking motivation. Im barely surviving because ive always been assumed "high functioning."
I have run out of a shop when someone greeted me that I was supposed to know. I didn't recognise themm and years afterwards I think I might know who they are supposed to be. People think it's made up or rude. But we can't help it/ I agree with you. I have to know someone for months or years to recognize them. I have many of the issues you have mentioned, but no one seems to believe it. It's frustrating. And constantly feeling like being judged for not performing perfectly is so exhausting.
This is ridiculously helpful, the health issues and how quick people are to be dismissive and nasty yet just as quick to take advantage, so much (if it's the right word) validation!
Love these types of videos, they give a real springboard to self reflection
Hi Quinn! Thank you for your videos! I can relate to so many things you mentioned. As a high masking 49 year old female, most people have no idea I'm autistic. I'm generally at most perceived as weird. But as a child I stood out and was bullied for years. At school, I hated sports, specially anything that involved a ball being thrown at me, like volleyball or handball. I ended up at the school's nurse almost every week with a nosebleed from being hit by a ball. Usually by accident, but it didn't take long before some girls realised I couldn't always catch a ball so they threw the ball at full force straight at my face on purpose. My mother was not sympathetic, she hated being called to come and get me at school because of nosebleeds or crying or being unwell. It was awful to be fetched from school by a mom who didn't make an effort to comfort me or understand. As an adult I can catch a ball, but I'm unable to play any games that require me to hit a ball with a tennis racket, bat or paddle. I can't hit the ball at all, it always fly past me! It's hilarious. Once a colleague at work took for his mission to teach me to play badminton and tennis. He was so patient, I tried so many times, but it was hopeless, I never learned. But on the other hand, I'm fabulous at archery, snooker or things where I'm supposed to shoot/hit a target. I also have great fine motor skills, I'm great at drawing and handcrafts and arts. I don't feel hungry until I'm starving. I don't usually feel thirsty until I really need water. I have gastritis and reflux. I have scoliosis and my muscles are always so tense, that I suffer from back pain and tension migraines regularly. I'm sensitive to smells, lights, certain noises, and I don't feel well at crowded places. I really dislike crowds and busy places. All this has become more intense with age. I also have a lot of trouble remembering and recognising faces, until I have seen the person many times. But I might still not recognise a friend if she changes her hair or her eyebrows. Paradoxically, I recognise very well politicians and artists I have seen on TV or the news. I think maybe it's because I avoid much eye contact when face to face with people I'm not comfortable with. But it's easy to stare at people on TV and photos, so it's easy to memorise and imprint them on my memory. Also, my mind is an interesting world: I am very curious about everything I see, geology, biology, languages, origin of words, and I love studying and investigating things. I love documentaries almost about anything. I have my special interests, but I like learning about almost anything. I enjoy being myself, even though I have few friends and I'm exhausted by sensory overload. Again, thanks for your videos!
Only took me 6 years to realise that the green ring around my logo was also the perfect background for the videos themselves 🤣
Omg! I’m 17 seconds in. I absolutely love the black background with the green circle behind you. It’s all kinds of feel good to the brain 😊. Ok gonna watch the video now. I love your content so much
I've just finished my assessment, the psychologist said that she's giving me an ASD lvl 2 diagnosis. Maybe I was right in thinking that I'm stuck within my own frame of reference to really know the extent of my own autistic traits. The world we see is a mirror of how our minds work (a simulation of the sensory environment). It's incredibly hard to judge yourself when you're limited by your own understanding of the world around you.
Omg the binary states 😅 not hungry to suddenly ravenous etc ...all so relatable! interoception, dyscalculia, monotrposism..all have polarities which impact ones existence highly. Thank you for another video..a great way to illustrate the true struggles and experience of a high masking Autist...🖖
My mother suffers from this and I am sending her this video. I've always wondered why she had to deal with this and I didn't and now I'm starting to understand that she has autism and I don't... Or if I do I'm missing 90% of the symptoms so probably not.
Another great video, Quinn! And I LOVED the Muttley and Letterkenny cameos 😄 Have a great weekend 💛
I always appreciate your shares and insights. You’re a comfort functioning autistic
To be fair, fair comment! I particularly like your use of the word adjunct. Far less morbid than comorbidity! :-)
My analogy for "high functioning" autism is eyesight. If someone needs glasses or contact lenses, ask them whether they're "high functioning" with regards to their eyesight. If they say "yes", tell them they aren't allowed to use those lenses, because they're "high functioning". If they say "no", tell them that that clearly means they shouldn't be driving, so they need to give up their driving license. Functioning labels simultaneously hurt both "high functioning" and "low functioning" autistic folks, because "high functioning" folks are refused their support needs and "low functioning" folks are treated as completely incompetent.
I identify with a lot of the problems you expressed. In particular, I've said in the past that I don't have a sleep cycle so much as a sleep pogo-stick - horribly unstable and liable to go in wild directions with only minimal disruption.
A very good analogy👍
Right on the money: what they (the normies) call high functioning is actually high masking. And if you dare no longer playing their game, better be prepared to take a beating.
All of this resonates so strongly. Ooph that "didn't realise you're being bullied until you're at the bottom of the food chain" bit though. Every damn time. I either somehow convince myself I'm helping them rather than them taking advantage, or I don't even realise it's happening because I simply can't relate to it. I have no idea how anyone COULD deliberately treat someone badly for fun. Because I can't comprehend it, I simply don't realise it's happening... And then when I FINALLY realise and say "enough" THEY get angry at me for "suddenly being a bitch". It sucks, and it causes a uniquely painful kind of dissonance.
I’m so sorry - I’ve had that experience too!
Thank you, excellent organization and presentation.
im constantly learning about me and autism , so many things you say make me realise that autism was an issue affecting my life as a child , the hunger think , i never feel hunger just sick when ive left it too late and then struggle to eat , as a child i feinted regularly and needed sugary food quickly to revive , yet ive been tested and tested and im not diabetic , its now almost 5 in afternoon and i havent yet ate my breakfast , im awaiting my diagnosis , been on list 3 years , when i found out , my disability counsillor at dwp , said dave , my mates autistic and he can still work , i had to remind him that im 55 and have worked since age of 16 with autism i havent just caught it ,its infuriating , im probably classed as high functioning , and im far from that description
I take a medication that messes up my hunger sometimes. May I recommend setting a timer to remind yourself to eat and building calorie portions with good nutrition to have handy?
The dysregulation is exhausting, the drug intolerances are terrifying, and it's so hard at times to transition between tasks that require different processing modes. I feel like a freak at times because I don't recognise a person who styled their hair differently. Comedy is not funny, sarcasm is baffling and the constant "polite" lies neuro typical people tell still confuse me.
I know that I am as smart as the next person but it's a challenge to not feel stupid a lot of the time.
And yes, some folks bully Neuro divergent people, without even knowing that we're neuro divergent. I just don't stay around those types of people now, there are plenty of good people in the world too, fortunately.
The dyscalculia got me! I was at RPI and I begged the physics professor to allow me to take the final orally (this was in 1991). He said to take the test then come to his office. We discussed each problem and he told me that I clearly understood the material but... I got a 47 on the written test and 'until I could put my understanding on paper he could not pass me. ' I was crushed and dropped out.
Yeah.. I was very good at algebra and geometry, but terrible at arithmetics because of my confusion between 2 and 5, 6 and 9... In written form. And I still cannot read very large numbers 😅.
I definitely remember a lack of empathy from the professors at RPI when I attended. The TAs I worked with cared, but normally their hands were tied.
I can HARD relate to that. Been there, got the tshirt😉
Wow that is terrible. You missed the support and modified testing by only a few years😢
Absolutely the best channel on autism.I’m so incredibly impressed by your work.
Wow, thank you!
Your videos make me cry. I've only recently discovered being high masking female autistic at 40yrs old....and SO many of your and others daily struggles have been what I've lived with my whole life. And it's been so incredibly validating and helpful. Your video on double empathy was incredibly profound for me. Thank you for putting your self out there and being willing to discuss the reality and diverse side to this way of being.
Mask, code switching, characters, oh my! I'm so unsure of who i am anymore. My interest and energy are so unreliable. I'm ashamed of not meeting expectations and for behaviors i don't really understand. No one has ever been sure what to do with me when i try to explain. I feel like i don't fit anywhere. I'm so exhausted mentally most days hygiene is very challenging. I've off handedly suspected i may be autistic for years, but told myself that the idea was "an excuse" and that if i only try harder, focus more, find a strategy. I guess I'm afraid of accepting that i tried as hard as i could. Thank you for your work, it's given me some guidance.
I say stomach and gut problems are the worst for me, along with noise and lighting, which sends me potty sometimes.
I was actually diagnosed in 2021. She specifically put "Aspergers" in with the ASD diagnosis. I have to say in the moment it helped me to research where I was on the spectrum. Now I just identify as Autistic. But I think there are times it can confuse other people who have certain expectations of what autism is. And thank you for talking about alexithymia. I really love your use of visual images and humor. :)
There's no fundamental difference between "high" or "low" functioning autism! I remember being in a psych ward for deep depression in my thirties, in my small town where all mental cases were lumped in the same hospital. There was a nonverbal autistic boy, about 14 , there too. He was very expressive in my opinion though, and I was surprised at how nobody understood him even the staff. He flapped his approval or incomfort, made noises and loved music. We quickly became friends. I gained a "little brother" to take care of, and my mood rapidly improved. At last, someone uncomplicated and fun to relate to and communicate with! With anything but words.
I ended up being the mediator between him and the staff, it improved his treatment there. When I asked them why on earth it seemed his needs were so clear to me, a staff member suggested I might be autistic myself... years later I was diagnosed. Autistic folks do communicate well with one another, no matter the "level" of autism. What neuotypical people use to classify us is how well we can speak, and how well we can restrain our stims in front of them. I'm glad that the notion of spectrum is more widely accepted now.
Part of the reason I do not tell people I am autistic is because I am so sick of being called high functioning.
I actually have pretty significant care needs. Every neurotypical I've met who got to see my full unmasked self has suggested I move back in with my parents because they worry I will not be able to maintain the current life I have, where I am struggling to juggle to meet the bare minimum needs for independence & survival, for more than a few years. (These neurotypicals also often cut contact with me shortly after telling me this because they decided MY autism was too much for THEM to handle.) I didn't learn a lot of the most basic early life skills until my 20s, including verbal communication (I was semi/minimally verbal my entire childhood) and how to brush my teeth. I need assistance when filling out complex paperwork because I can get so confused by the vague phrasing of questions that it triggers a meltdown or shutdown. Most of my time outside of work is spent in bed because I'm simply too exhausted to do anything else. I even regularly skip meals because I do not have the strenth to get out of bed.
But one of my strongest skills is masking! Even where other autists pass me in social skills, I am able to pass off my slip-ups as having neurotypical causes such as shyness, anxiety, or having a sheltered childhood. I had abnormally high demands for social conformity as a child. I remember being punished for my "unprofessionalism" at as young as SIX YEARS OLD. This mask, which was forced on me so aggressively and violently at such a young age, has prevented me from accessing diagnosis, accomodations, government assistance, caretakers, etc. People describe me as "barely" autistic, boasting the fact I "don't need" assistance to appear normal as if that's some sort of trophy. When the reality is that I have been drowning for years and nobody will help me until my lack of support starts to literally kill me.
When a person calls me high functioning, it tells me they are oblivious to my struggles and pain. They think neurotypical-passing is a badge of honor, when to many of us, its just one of the many barriers preventing us from accessing the support we need to come even close to functioning at the same level as them.
i can understand every thing 10000% i live this daily as well people just dont want to know or understand that these things affect us in this way on top of autism i have ptsd coeliac disease diabeties type 2 fibromyalgia/chronic fatque ibs people just dont get what we go through on a daily basis
You basically put my whole life into words I didn’t know existed. It’s wild growing up thinking you’re the only person in the world that feels this way and finding out it’s a lot more common than you might had hoped for.
Conspiracy time:
"High Functioning" is just a Label they try to give us to dissuade us from seeking support (or recieving it), support that would in most cases drastically improve the standard of living for us in modern society near to that of a neurotypical. Because with that "High Functioning" label, it shapes the narrative that there will always be others who are more "deserving" of that support, as we would be somehow capable of dealing with our problems alone (an assesment they often arrive at by merely noting an ability to form coherent sentences in a 1-1 conversation) and that to seek any support, even in cases where accommodations would cost nothing, would be seen as an attempt to take away resources from those more needing of it.
Just to be clear, this isn't to diminish those with greater support needs as a result of additional complications alongside autism or other conditions, but rather to say that I don't believe that the answer to managing supply/demand for a limited amount of available support resources is to dissuade people from seeking them, as has been the case in my experience ever since my initial diagnosis, but that it should instead be to invest on building and expanding support capabilities within the health system to be able to actually meet the full demand.
The reality is that this is openly reflected in the funding priorities of "autism charities". The overwhelming majority of all money funded towards autism is for research into genetics, not support. So really, there aren't enough resources to go around, and it's the direct result of funds being appropriated from the government and charitable donations from the public towards research advocating for the elimination of autism, not institutional support.
I agree and disagree. Its true that it is used as a label and in a way of not getting the help u need, its so hard to get autism support in general and those considered "disabled" will always get more funding. However honestly, it is also a viable term. I have met a lot of people on the spectrum at various places and a lot of them i have met really cant function at all and need benefit support or have issues with hygiene, social skills etc. However their is a lot of successful working professionals with Autism and their are many who actually do find making friends easier and getting jobs or opportunities than others... i would say i fit that term well. However the high functioning really comes down to how well u are at masking and not irritate NTs as someone else said in the comments. Other factors such as your family status or background, education level and overall IQ can also play a factor. Their is also an argument tho that many people have actually been misdiagnosed and dont have autism, but may have other neurological issues or mental health traumas. Its complex
Thanks fella, I love your presentations, they are so nicely organised and entertaining.
I'm not sure how to deal with any of this, I recently identified, and everything makes sense now.
However, I don't think I can be telling people though, not much understanding around these parts.
0:46 That speech-bubble should've been on the astronaut (it's a missed opportunity for a joke).
The alien is much taller ("higher") .. so the "high functioning"-phrase would've been hilarious, coming from the small(er) astronaut.
It's nice to see, you're back (and that I've already missed a few new episodes, because that means, I can go and binge-watch those .. didn't have that opportunity since I initially found your channel and binged all the videos, back in 2022).
Great video, as always :)
Also “your quite senior for someone like you”, uttered by an NHS manager a few years ago.
It's shocking the amount of prejudice people have towards autistic people.
Yes, they also seem quite surprised that I can be autistic past 50😅.
@@Johnny_T779It'll be a fun 2030 for me in a few years time. 🎉 (Here's hoping.)
This is analysis, not condemnation. Try to parse the language better.
@@Johnny_T779 Maybe its because they think we're supposed to turn up dead before turning 34.
"Before they excrete their opinions on the screen" that comment made my day!
Thank you for making this video.
I'm autistic and was diagnosed at 15 (just back when they used the term "Asperger's"), but I honestly didn't know that a lot of these things were related to autism. I related to certain things personally but never necessarily thought of them as part of my autism, so hearing this makes me feel a bit less like a screwed-up weirdo. I have also had trouble embracing that aspect of myself because once I finally did get the diagnosis, people used it as a way to control or mistreat me in the past.
How much stock footage of horses in suits IS there?! 😂
Just enough. It's in the goldilocks-horses-in-suits-zone.
@@Autistamaticis that next to the plane of infinite misters that SCP-920 sends those who fall to its effects to?
@@lyokianhitchhiker I love a guy who'll go out on a limb with a really specific reference
Plus one from me
@@matturner6890 ah, you remember the plane of infinite misters?
A lot of the stuff in this video were things I have been dealing with my whole adult life and I had no idea had any connection to my autism. Not what I expected from the title. Cheers.
My function is high if you need someone to bust some moves, I can usually have a philosophical debate
still I spend most my time in my bed cause aaaaaah I cant do things hard
hmm oh yeah ive learned stuff here
I had started time stamping similar issues I share with you, but then that turned into simply being almost every symptom you described so I thought it better to just say it is helpful to know others also experience the same things.
Your voice sounds like some of my favorite book-on-cassette narrators from my childhood, and that’s extremely comforting 😊
came here for the funny thumbnail stayed for the acutely relatable description of my exact same stomach problems
So much in common. In my case, I am facing terrible options that make jail look attractive. My disability has driven me out of housing. Not enough to cover my needs. When my medical supplies run out, its unthinkable. I don't know if I can find help. None so far, but the head trauma and the tism definitely interfere with reaching out. I just can't call organizations on the phone spikking out my pain fifteen times a day hoping one of them has a glimmer of possibility. Only to be told I don't fit the parameters for help. I am pretty sure the government still provides the basics in prison and I have noticed that simply shouting at people can be parlayed into a life sentence.
Heavens! I think you did a pretty great job of hitting the nail on the head; faces, mathmatics, forgetting to eat when working a project. If I am out--- carrying a quick change of clothes, packages of cleaning wipes and 2 trash liners. And getting so involved in what I am doing I keep going through the night. I take deep dives into my interests (usually only one or two at a time. I am calm and collected in an emergency but may find myself shaking for hours afterwards. Such an experience leaves me absolutely drained. Wow! Thank you so much!
I am the opposite for some of these, but the same for others. Didn't know about the temperature regulation and facial recognition ... I have those. Used to get teased at school for always going red after 5min of exercise! 😢❤
Can relate a lot to you. I'm 18 and it seems like I'm about to lose my first good job because of social issues. Don't really know what to fix about myself.
Coworkers are scared of me and avoid contact, being 6'5 doesn't help with that either.
Being tall and autistic has tripped a few of my friends up. Adding that extra dimension can work against us. I really hope your fears aren't/weren't made real, but whatever happens, it's not "fixing yourself" you need to worry about. "Learning to adapt" maybe, but you're not broken. Working alongside NT colleagues is rarely easy and I never completely mastered it myself, but over the years I found ways of making it easier. I've done a few bits on employment before, but keep your eyes peeled for something more on this topic in coming months.
I had always thought I was NOT alexithymic.. (including after seeing some of your videos about it).. until this short blurb described my whole life. (Insert emoji here)
6:54 This reminds me of an episode of “The Good Doctor” from the final season earlier this year: immediately following the funeral of a member of their surgical department, who was murdered, Shawn is placed in charge of the Emergency Department during a Mass Casualty Event. This is largely because he’s better equipped than anyone else to “set aside” his emotions at that time.
I'm always intrigued by the different experiences with their bodies other autistic people have.
I, too, don't quite qualify for a formal Dyspraxia diagnosis, but it often doesn't feel that way. I drop things a LOT. Fortunately, I had a dog through my thirties and early forties who was smart, agile, and fast, who trained my reflexes. Now I often catch those things I've dropped before it's too late. I can play piano and guitar; but I'll never be very good at either, despite many years of experience, because I simply don't have the fine digital dexterity to get there. I've been playing guitar for 45 years and still can't manage a bar chord. Or a basketball layup, for that matter.
I also have trouble synching movements I have to think about with singing, so it took a long time for me to learn to just strum the minimum number of chords, and that it wouldn't be smooth playing until I knew the lyrics backward and forward-which also takes me a long time. Some friends got me into drama in high school, but mostly due to me, the Diary of Ann Frank sometimes came off as a comedy. I mean, it wasn't my fault the cake was left on the table for several scenes, but it was my fault when I started performing a completely different scene at the table. Then I thought I could be Theseus in A Midsummer Night's Dream-I really wanted to-but I couldn't learn the lines and act at the same time. To remember my lines, I needed to be able to visualize the text-which I could do, but it put my mind in the wrong space to simultaneously pull off acting. So the stress of it turned into a block preventing me from getting any better at it at all.
Visual memory is my strength, while audio is my weakness. I also don't really think in language but in sensory "images" and concepts. My visual memories don't really change with time until I try to process them through another part of my brain, such as trying to describe a mental picture in language. I don't have a photographic memory for details, but with some effort I can look at an image for longer to devote more memory to it. As such, I used to invoke my visual memory of spelling/vocabulary assignments to scope with the in-class tests; and often my definitions and sample sentences were exactly the same as my homework version of the full list. That's why I THOUGHT I could be an actore, but it turned out I couldn't conjure the script images and act at the same time. Sadly, I didn't discover the technique early enough in life for all the recitation tests, such as the "I have a dream" speech or the preamble to the US Constitution (and despite Schoolhouse Rock). I seldom get lost, though, because I can spend hours looking (and replicating) maps-nowadays more often satellite images. I figured that was only my obsession with maps-collecting, staring at them, drawing from memory or imagination, inadvertently developing pretty strong urban planning skills by trial and error and logic. Many a night I have gotten lost in Google Earth only to discover it was 3 or 4am.
Lately, I have been trying to use navigation apps on my iPhone and car dashboard. But they drive me nuts. I misunderstand direction, tune parts of it out (I'm AuDHD). I'm trying different voices, which seems to help some. It messes with my direction sense, though, which usually is awesome. My first day out, I got confused in nearby city several times-a city I knew pretty well. Now that I've been using them for six weeks, I'm back to perusing maps AHEAD of time, so they don't confuse me quite so easily; AND, I hardly ever use the PoV rotation feature.
I'm also a VERY HSP (highly sensitive person), oddly enough, made more so after recovering from intensive chemo therapy a dozen years ago. Long before I'd heard the term, I made fun of myself as the Princess and the Pea, or a member of the House of Usher. It also has proven to be why I don't like foods and objects (chemically coated, usually) that have turned out to be harmful: I'm the canary in the coalmine, getting rashes for touching bare skin to the carpet, GI getting out of whack for eating nearly any processed food manufactured in the USA. Of course, that also turned out to be an allium sensitivity (garlic, onions, chives, leeks, etc). So many, many quirks that all turn out to be most common among autistic or HSP persons. Even so, I wasn't self-diagnosed until about age 52, and formally diagnosed earlier this year at age 55. Bipolar Disorder II, ADHD, HSP, CPTSD for being raised by narcissist mother and grandmother ALL failed to describe my total existence. SO much therapy. Autism finished the puzzle. Now everything that's ever been unusual or difficult in my life makes sense in context.
I really feel this video! Thanks Quinn 💜
Amen, Mr Quinn. Absolutely. I'll be sharing this video when folks quote 'high functioning' at me! -Mike 🧡
You sound like the narrator from Look Around You. This is a compliment, very pleasant.
I hope you noted your observations down in your copy book😉
I have decent fine motor skills, but walking is a challenge. I always always have bruises and mostly don't know where they came from.
Thanks for making videos, I'm self diagnosed for now, but having people explain how they feel helps me understand myself.
I'm in the middle of burnout right now, life is hard and this helps a lot. Knowing I'm not alone in these experiences and this frustration.
Regarding the spectrum: Yeah, we have a spectrum in my house. I require less help then my daughter. She is what I thought autism was until I experienced a major shutdown when my husband was on his last days before he passed.
This was a very interesting case study of one autist. Hopefully, it encourages other self-aware and well-informed autists to publish their own case studies. DSM 6 is yet to be released but it will probably be the last DSM to be solely "expert" driven. DSM 7 and later will be more AI authored and that AI will draw information from all available sources including videos like this one. "Expert" understanding of autism, and neurodivergence in general, still has a long way to go. Thank you for pushing our understanding one step closer to where it needs to be.
Thanks for this Quinn. I’m late diagnosed at 56 (60 now). No support where I live. I’ve had appalling mental health all my life. I hate the term “high functioning”. Like you said people don’t see what’s going on inside. High functioning actually means low functioning (inside), high masking, (outside). I was also diagnosed with complex PTSD because of the trauma of trying to get through life as a low functioning high masking Autistic with severe ADHD as well. I just want to be alone now. 😢
A lot of those things are indeed very relatable. Quite interesting to hear actually because I haven't really linked some of these symptoms to autism at all, such as the rather binary interoseptic responses and gut issues and an atypical response to alcohol, sedatives or such.
Absolutely I don’t drink for that reason and also because I’ve been on Antidepressants for 20 odd years
I've never realized that many of these things had anything to do with my autism. I'm a 49 year old recently diagnosed woman, and have been trying to work through not being on the psych meds I've been on for 35 years. Thanks for your video. ♥️
Your video was meaningful. Now that that is out of the way, thanks for the Letterkenny😆! It was only fair to do so.
Only a tiny reference, but a little dab'll do ya!
Sitting here just shaking my head. Local Anesthesia doesn't work for me, can't remember faces & can only do math in my head, among many other things you mentioned. & to think a psychologist actually said "These days, everybody's on the spectrum." What a copout. It is real. You are real. I know because I live it
Thank you for bringing all of this forward.
Holy crap! There's so much on this list that I didn't know was correlated with ASD. Almost every point you hit was something I could relate to deeply. The face blindness, the lack of interoception, (I'm never hungry), the wonky memory, every thing!
This is the best help ive seen since diagnosis 4 years ago. Im in my 50s and still stuggling with the everyday. This has put into words alot of things i couldnt explain to others so thank you.
oooooooo dip in emotional intensity when emotions get to a certain intensity... thank you so much for that wording.
I tend to run more toward emotions that run extra high and multiple emotions at a time, but I also have this thing where emotions get too high and a sort of time-delay safety feature kicks in, so that I don't access the emotions and then they ambush me later when I feel safer.
Yup! That sounds like alexithymia.
I was surprised of how many things I could recognize in myself. It's really easy to belittle why life is so hard for me most of the time, when I know how lucky I am in many ways. Thank you for the video ❤
I'm so glad to be hearing people talk about Alexithymia because I found out about it after my DX, and I felt it so much but was always too worried to try to find a therapist about it haha.
The whole of this video is TOO REAL.
I could have really used this a few years ago when I was first diagnosed with ASD.
Congratulations I am high functioning! Keep it to yourself! I don't need to be congratulated I am just trying to survive!
🕊️🕯️🌳🤍🕊️
Thank you so very much.
Everything you shared. touch my soul. Wow.👏 I resonated. 🧠✔️👂
Peace be with you.
Thank you. Thk you
🕊️🤍🌳🕯️🕊️
Even though I was diagnosed with high functioning autism, I haven't really experienced aphantasia. If anything, my imagination is MORE active than normal. I can visualize a number of things.
It's led to difficulty in perceiving what is real, though.
Additionally, I continually question if it's me that has impossible standards, or if everyone else does.
(a side effect of monotropism: everything has to be perfect or else)
I've gradually come to realize why certain standards exist, but I still disagree with a number of them.
Otherwise, I have experienced a lot of what's in here, but I think I've gotten better about it. The most problems anyone had with me was random fits, which I haven't really had since I was in high school. I once had behavior that was similar to being drunk, but I was actually suicidal, so it was more that I didn't really care.
Someone once told me I actually LOOK anxious. I don't know how it is I come off that way, other than I could be manifesting the continual worry I feel, even if my mind is seeing the other side of it.
...Something that makes me feel like I'm stronger than I am.
I also have difficulty in knowing how anyone can be so certain about anything without having logic behind it.
If only I knew the term for essentially worrying too much about everything!
I've been trying very hard to get myself to focus on something that other people would think is worth it.
I KNOW that is different things for everyone.
Regardless, it's nice to know that even for me, it could've been worse.
I don't think I can ever truly be counted as "normal", but at least I can persuade myself that I at least APPEAR normal.
That demands that you think a random person walking by is normal.
The vivid and potentially intrusive visual imagination you describe has a name too: "hyperphantasia". I've met a few hyperphantasic people recently and it's been an interesting introduction.
@@Autistamaticthat’s the only thing on your list that was different for me too - I have hyperfantasia, which can be both cool and terrifying. (Like for example, horror films are totally out for me!)
Yet when I finally had a chance for diagnosis, the dr said that in addition to my ADHD I’m just “too smart” - which was based on “being able to make eye contact” (which I told her was difficult and that I had worked on since I was a child). I was also deemed not autistic because I am “pleasant to talk to” and “had a sense of humor”. On behalf of all autists, I’m deeply offended that she used stereotypes as diagnostic criteria - I think you display a wonderful sense of humor, as do most autistic people I know!
Sadly, after so many years of masking I don’t even know how to drop it when talking to a stranger, but I was blown away by this, especially when I saw the written report which accused me of “exaggerating my symptoms”. 😳
Make it make sense! How is someone’s observations of you on the outside more important than your internal experience in these matters? It seems analogous to the “high functioning” label. As you were saying, people only see you at your best, but for a psychiatrist to do this is mind-blowing and I am still trying to process the whole weird experience.
@@lynnxeI am sorry this happened to you.
@@marymegrant9438 thank you. I’m sure I’m not alone, but it’s a surreal experience!
Listening to this video was quite liberating. I got my diagnosis 2 years back, at 58. I haven't landed yet. The clear descriptions of the sub-syndromes mentioned here made me realise they will help me better understand "high strangeness" in my life.
Hi Sir.
It is for sure a very interesting video in Many ways. Speaking about you, about your struggles and speaking about WHO you really are and WE really are like this. I appreciate your ability to share this everything of thoughts about your way of proceeding upstairs, it must have take you a while and a lot of faillures i guess. I Fully understand WHO you are and i would like to encourage you to Stay so, nobody shiuld need to change for others people appreciations.
What do you think about elon Musk ?
I am looking forward to this one, but right up front, the first thing that comes to my mind, is 'high coping' autist. Why doesn't anyone say THAT!? High Functioning means less annoying Alexithymia! Yes, that. Had not connected the dots until you described it. Ask how I feel and I instantly stop feeling and go into an analytical mode. Then I kind of feel nothing.... "Is that what you expected?" I find it interesting you described many of my experiences perfectly, from gut to coordination, and I'm a 59 year old female. I keep hearing autism is quite different in women than in men, but not the way you are describing it isn't.
Thank you so much for the video! It was so relatable, and is nice having all of those experiences and sensations finally being put into words I can actually use to explain things to people. And the part about not getting hungry, that really resonated with me. Many times I will completely forget to eat my lunch because I don't get hungry, which is why I prefer to carry things that don't rot like energy bars or things like that. That way I will be able to keep them in my backpack and eat them whenever I am ready, even days later. 😁
When I was diagnosed, the term at the time they used was "Severe high functioning autism". I try to work with people in the way they are accustomed to but it isn't always possible, especially not at a high cost to myself. Balancing the cost of engagement with my own capacity each day to choose what to engage with and what to avoid can be frustrating when there is a lot of external pressure to ignore my own well being to live up to expectations and little understanding for my position.
Well explained again, many thanks.
Iv been suspecting that im autistic and it sure would explain alot...lol
Thank you for sharing 💚💚
You even taught me a few words that I didn't know about that I've been looking for!!
Wish I'd known of them YEARS AGO!!!!
Thank you very much for this. Your transparency is highly appreciated.
Things I never understood about myself, I now realize some of what you experience are also my traits. It is because of people like you Quinn and others on RUclips that are strong enough to face the trolls better than I can, that help me understand my diagnosis better with every youtube an autist/AuDHD/ADHD published.
I can relate to everything you talked about in this video. I being what people call us high functioning still has its long list of problems to over come and unfortunately neurotypical people often dont know what goes on behinds our closed doors and masking do they. Thanks as always Quinn for taking the time to put this out there much appreciated 👍