Matthew Perry & A Hamptons Tragedy | The Tim Dillon Show
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- Tim examines hanging out with Israel, price gouging, Subway in crisis, putting children in jail, Matthew Perry’s fake friends and why you should never weep in the Hamptons.
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My kid asks
"what are you listening to dad?"
The news son. The news.
Ha! Yes! 😂
lel my special needs kid knows Saturday morning dad watches "The News"
now if you want the REAL news, that's War Mode, Brotha
@@broja4387obviously
@@AlexChavez-uz6sgbless your heart ❤️
Tim is the official commentator of this dystopian nightmare we are currently living through
This is such a wrong take away. As if there should be an official commentary.
Netflix agrees
When the nightmare hits the median, call Morgan and Morgan
Tim’s version of the dystopia is the only version I care to listen to 😂
Bro Tim should do a show of "An outsiders guide to the decay of an empire" where he's the guide.
Matthew Perry was an Iranian intelligence asset. This was revealed to me in a dream.
😂
Putin whispered that in your ear as you slept.
You're full of ish. That was revealed to me while I was awake.
Got any “dream” to share with the rest of us?
Seems legit
The Rolls Royce candle is a nice touch that I don't think is getting enough credit.
Good catch!
I zoomed in on it too. $13.95 - smells like motor oil.
I thought Tim was a Bentley guy
Subway is “NOT for people with choices or for people who have minutes to think.”😂😂😂
The $5 footlong days are over. Back then I ate them because it was cheap and sorta decent.
That little monster will likely be El DIablo in 5 years. Someone's kid is going to be its victim, mark my words.
Weekly reminder that Tim is a deeply, deeply closeted straight man.
This was a hilarious comment. Every week, it is more clever.
😂😂
my butt hole says otherwise
He is probably straight though. I have thought so since 2020.
@@pokermitten9795 no photo evidence of gayness
Tim Dillon explaining world conflict like its your high school friend group is what the world needs these days.
There is quite literally an entire subset of the internet that is doing this exact thing. I forget what it's called, but I've seent it.
i used to be a Fatty boom Batty but then i watched Tim Dillon and now im Gay! Thanks Tim
You can still be a fatty boom batty too. Don’t limit yourself.
Still fat?
Everybody evolves 😅
We are ALL a little gay for Tim
Im not mad at you..
"Call the Ketamine Queen and kill someone else "😂 I spit out my beer 🍺 bro
GTA Radio
yeah i spat out yoghurt onto my keyboard lol
crying. 😭😭😂😂
Im weak af
I’ve watched that part more than 15 times now and I still spat out my drink
In '97 when I met my best friend, who fresh off the boat from Nigeria. He had never heard of pre-made frozen food. Every single meal he had ever eaten in his life was made from scratch.
He now weighs like 300lbs
How much did he weigh in '97?
The way Tim describes Israel as the friend with a fucked up home life was hilarious and unfortunately true.
I was taking a nap listening to it while sleeping and it woke me up and made me laugh 🤣🤣🤣
I'm an Israeli. Shit was funny.
Tim needs to be the White House press secretary
Minister of propaganda
He would age like Bill Clinton
no matter who the president is, just as a permanent position, lol
1000% It would make people more involved in politics 😂
Omg that would be epic
Tim’s comparison of America, Israel and France as teenagers is epic..he’s gotta save some of the good stuff for the special
He doesn’t need to save it, it just comes out of him naturally.
@@kennybachman35 true
The Israel analogy is hilarious. Also I’m not sure if Tim did it intentionally or subconsciously but the drunk cig burning the raft is legit the perfect USS Liberty metaphor
Well they over charged him
I’m a washed up former junkie that used to pop Roxies like I was trying to taste the rainbow. I then landed in a Boiler Room sales job for 7 years with 98% men from halfway houses & work release. I needed Tim. Tim’s brand of humor makes me feel at home 😅
Drinking cheap wine in a burger king cup. Life in the big city.
Tim is the guy that was raised by a bipolar schizophrenic and then refused to be bothered by it and instead decided to just become wise, funny and chill.
and gay
@@ExitTheMatrixVR REALLY good (and I'm gay)
Nailed it! 😂
@@isaactuuri6488 deeply closeted
Chill? he’s the exact opposite and that why i love the piggys rant
This show is becoming what Tim Dillon fans deserve.
(podcast)
Crap
Nothing about Raygun though. Does he even follow the news?
No need to be mean.
Yes, we deserve the best and we get the best.
Saturday morning chores are so much better with Tim
Tim deserves credit for one thing: being easily the most openly elitist person in the public eye
@@marcjones2493 the kind of elitism we all deserve
The show doesn’t premiere until noon lol
Would have liked to have Tim’s sermons in my ears as my parents or grandpa woke us up at 730 to do chores on Saturday even though we had finally just finished a five day stint of unnecessary schooling.
I know there’s that joke about “comedians being modern day philosophers”, but I legitimately feel that way about Tim. This show has long since transcended comedy. I don’t even laugh that much unless it’s a Ray episode or he has a particularly good joke. Most of the time it’s Tim using satire and irony to cleverly point out the rotten core our society is built on. I feel like he’s preaching to and respecting the intelligence of his audience rather than just making jokes most of the time. Tim is truly one of a kind.
Respecting the intelligence of his audience- I like that
Best explanation of what tim does.
A lot of the time, I feel genuinely disturbed by the points that he makes about our society.
Unironically the modern day Diogenes.
One hour a week with Timmy is just not enough!!! More slop please!! 😂😂
Patreon
Tim is like that Taxi driver you actually like to listen to 😊
Conspiracy Theory with Mel Gibson
A cabbie once told me Canada has 2 season. Half the time the trees are naked and the other half of the time the women are.
@@MxnwellMxnlymxn-gs4eplol explain pls
Back when taxis existed. No apps no ratings!
@@jayweiss4378 even though you know he has a rigged meter
Before this podcast I didn’t know who I was or what I really wanted in life. I’m an aimless 26 year old who suffers from anxiety and depression about the world we live in.
Tim was my lighthouse. Tim’s podcast has inspired me to become apart of something bigger than myself. I’ve started to make unnecessary life choices in the hopes that I’ll be featured in a headline Tim Dillon reads about. Thank you Tim for bringing back hope.
All you need a sloped rooftop and the pig in your ear
He's my Saturday morning cartoon! Love my news from Tim- best reporter EVER
Be the spearhead into Iran🤘
Thank you for your sacrifice
We’re all proud for you!!
At 7:30, Tim’s take on the effects on kids of no structure in the summer relating to how all humans crumble without structure, even adults, is a very impressively thought out take. Nice work Tim!
As someone in their 30s, with currently no job, never went to college, and received my GED in HS;
I wholeheartedly agree
im gay
Bunch of wannabe-millionaire pawns hanging on the words of a wannabe-billionaire loudmouth
@@ChiliWilly16 No college, uses semi-colon anyway. Nice.
I sure enough crumble without structure.
Tim dillon is a dam juggernaut, Once he gets going there ain’t no stopping him.
literally AND figuratively
I’m born and raised in the Hamptons. Middle class…everything you talk about is absolutely so spot on and it’s so entertaining.
I like the Hamptons.
how can one be born and raised in the Hamptons and claim to be middle class? that's an onymoron
How can one be born and raised in the Hamptons and still claim to be middle class? 😅😅
@@blueXcss Real estate inheretance. It really only become THE Hamptons in the 70's, beforehand it was just a nice place in New York. Same here except my family financial situation is complicated. I just know there are even poor people living in the Hamptons.
@@blueXcssbc generally speaking the people born and raised there aren’t even middle class. The people that summer there are rich. The people that are born and raised there are often BARELY working class. You think the gardeners snd plumbers and maids and pizza delivery guys and waiters and bartenders all serving the rich people summering in the Hamptons are all rich? Lmfao. How would that even work?
There is so much sugar in Subway's bread, that Ireland's Supreme Court said it was legally not bread.
Ants love subway bread.
@@ryandgarland Aunts love Subway bread
The Irish love sugar bread
Suffer from chronic depression, anxiety, scoliosis & hypogonadism. This show is one of the few things in life I look forward to.
Stockholm, Sweden 🇸🇪
It's okay. All of us in the comments section are here to give you love and support. Tim will lift us up with his philosophy that nothing is so cruel and painful that it can't be laughed at. Stick together and we'll all get through this.
@@patriciareilly530Loved this! ♥️🙏
Hang in there friend. We can all laugh out asses off in a couple hours
Nice comment brother, united in Dillon
Stand tall, big glanded friend
As someone who is stressfully moving into an apartment on today and my parents just bought me Subway while Tim was on his really this blew my mind how accurate it is 😂how does he know real life so well
And I just watched a video of a guy with dirty feet touching all the meat at a subway lol. Hope you don't get sick.
It’s because he’s truly trash, just like us! Lol
Haha! That’s the coolest sync! Glad you shared .
“You just need some fuel for the 8 hours of hell that awaits.” I’d choose the foot long meatball sub for that.
“You just need some fuel for the 8 hours of hell that awaits.” I’d choose the foot long meatball sub for that.
If anyone ever questioned if Dilly is really gay. Remember that he remembers lyrics from old musicals by heart.
Your touching eulogy of Brandon Miller has imparted reflection on myself and the value of life. You are always so thoughtful with your words Tim.
This is my church and Tim is my preacher.
During the period when he wasn’t uploading consistently I was so lost in life without my church to attend every week!
Amen.
❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉
He’ll yeah brother
Can’t wait to cut the grass today and listen to the greatest man to grace the mic.
Wayne Newton?
Your life must be boring 😂
I haven't sang karaoke in a couple years lol
Cut the grass gloriously! 🎉
@@TheGasStation1616renter brain.
I can’t wait for Tim’s monologue on Monkeypox
Epi
I’ve never seen a more accurate depiction of what a subway sandwich actually looks like, than that 1st pic he pulled up. 😂😂😂
Kamala talking about “price controls” sounded like a 5th grader talking about the federal reserve
Her voters target demographics don't understand anyways
As the friend from the broken home I endorse Tim Dillon
This is the only podcast where I listen to the commercials as attentive as the rest of the content. Tim throws in some real gems on these commercials that leave me in tears sometimes. 😆
@@-the_Truth_is_Out_There I think you're actually right about that 😂😂😂
PURE TD RIGHT HERE! 🔥🔥
That Israel as the rich-kid U.S.’s best friend bit is GENIUS.
Especially when you realize the kid’s family is the Rothchilds 😅
Min 28:08 thanks for reminding us about the inflation. 2 sandwiches for $7.99 I can eat there all day 😂
I don't think that qualifies as eating. More like self harm.
As a late teen who listens to the Tim Dillon show weekly, I have to thank Tim for helping me cut out a toxic friend. Comparing his antics to US foreign relations with Israel really helped put things in perspective.
The Court Jester returns to tell us what the King is really up to.
👌💯
Oh thank god Kamala speaking out against 30$ overdraft fees
That should fix everything
Tims on the next level.. I was crying towards the end out of laughter
Min 58:10 for the love of God sake! "Do something!" Don't just sit there and weep 😂😂
I worked at subway in 2008 as a teenager and I could not get the smell of that restaurant out of my skin and clothes. I would change out of the clothes and hat and put them in a sealed garbage bag after work, go home and shower extensively. And it was still seeping from my pores for hours into the next day! Had to wash my after shift clothes immediately or that “fresh baked bread” smell would leech though the trash bag and into my bedroom
Yep. Same. It's a bread/vinegar smell.
I suffer from having a small penis and a propensity for overconsuming carbohydrates but god damnet i enjoy this podcast.
😂😂😂😂😂
Good.
Amen brother!
Heard that brother
Subway's was only good when it was the 5$ footlong.
Now the "signature" sandwiches are 19$ a piece. Wtf
Yeah, WTF, that happened to me the other day... 5 dollar foot-long and a drink. -$20
W. T. actual F...
The last two times I went to the Subway across from my apartment:
1) The sandwich artist threw uncooked chicken chunks on the sandwich.
2) They tried to charge me $17 for a 6-inch-sub that was supposed to be the special of the day.
@@DeflatingAtheismwell you went BACK!? The smell alone keeps me away.
Subway, the pedophile ring yoga mat sandwich people
@@DeflatingAtheism"sandwich artist" 😂 We are such a participation trophy nation.
Jessie Smullett walk in the cold cold at 2am for subway.
Is that where he said he was going?! 🤣
@@stregadisalem732Yup! 😂 huge red flag. Millionaire just out for a 2am Subway stroll in Chicago..
He was thinking of that footlong deal...🤔🤔🤔
Israel is basically JG Wentworth
*"ITS MY WW3 AND I WANT IT NOW!"*
“Subway, fuel yourself for 8 hours of hell.”
This Subway take is one of the realest things I’ve ever heard
One lit candle -- how cozy. 🕯
Lights Rolls Royce scented candle before beginning unhinged rant *vibes*
20:34 The mossad robot "fly" lands on the candle
Sochi bear and the Rolls Royce candle are so spot on. I love you Pig! 😂❤
I like the addition of the candle light -- it gives more light to the seriousness of the subjects our piglet in arms talks about
Indeed , any clue what scent lol R label? 😂
The subway rant was so real lmaooo
Tim is the greatest political ranter of all time. No one can compete
Tim is a legend. You would like Jimmy Dore a lot I'll bet. Like Tim he is honest, funny and spot on.
He has overtaken Alex Jones.
I too endorse Jimmy Dore
He reminds me of JJ TABANE from South Africa🇿🇦 on eNCA
i was guided here by the holy spirit
😊
Timmy is the Buddha
Or just a 40 year old Cartman
Tim I live in Tipperary in Ireland,and I swear if I hadn't your podcast every week,life would be so boring,U definitely have so much Irish humor in u..love u so much.God Bless u Tim,and keep safe,would be such a sad world for all your followers if any thing happened to u..🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪
Heard it's a long way to get there.
@@ianmcdonald3053😂😂😂😂😂,once u get here,u might not get to leave..😂😂😂😂
“It’s America!… Speak English!” 😂😂 I love it when Tim hits these notes on the head.
I enjoy my Sat morning watching Tim Dillon the same way I used to enjoy Sat morning cartoons
Tim is cartman as a adult
@@aliciainbloom super original comment!
This comment is spot on
@@keatonjorgensen8793 yes
Tim J. Dillon: Hope & Change 2028
He got a laughing guy that sounds just like that other guy he used to have on the show. I miss him so much, may his soul rest in peace.
Glad he’s gone he was destroying the show.
I don't know what happened between them, good/bad/neither, not my business, but I'll always miss those shows.
This feels like a certified Tim Dillon Classic.
I haven't laughed this hard in months. Tim is an absolute comedic genius!
the apocalyptic news show is about to begin
“Is everybody in?”
-Jim Morrison
@DiscardedContext the ceremony is about to begin...
😂😂😂”Kamala has fed energy. Big mama fed”
😂😂😂so good
Tim Dillon lives rent free in my head
"Con artists giving up is not the attitude that built America!"
😂😂😂😂
Remember that teen on the cruise ship that went missing when he jumped into shark infested water...LEGEND.
Tim has become my new favorite political commentator. He is correct but adds that comedy spice to it! Can always count on me to be waiting for his video each week and would honestly love to see more weekly !!
Tim is everybody’s friend.
Except those lesbians on Airbnb lmao
@@blackjesus9700 a $500 cleaning fee!?
@@blackjesus9700beans explode when they're hot, Tim didn't come up with that idea for the bean
Even Venezuelans!!
@@blackjesus9700😂😂😂😂😂
Breaking News:Tommy Crooks safebox found containing a SSD drive with the entire Tim Dillon Show library downloaded and annotated 💯
The king of sarcasm, satire, and irony. As an Englishman, growing up watching some of the best comedians and comedy shows that are some of the best at this type of comedy, Tim is right up there with them all. It's just amazing.
Polo T-shirt and a Rolls Royce candle. That's real class.
Tim Dillon+WARMODE please and thank you
Too many Redpills and you'll turn *into* a Redpill you goofball! Now go have fun out there
didnt expect to see this comment. it pleases me - altho it would have to have to have to include the shaman
Zillion dollar T-shirt idea-
“No Weeping in the Hamptons, No Thank You “
"Subway is to be endured."
😂😂🤣🤣 Thank God for giving us Tim Dillon
Everything was about weight loss in the 90s: Special K, Lean Cuisine, Snackwells, SlimFast, Dexatrim, and they always made it seem so sophisticated.
yep it's so different now 💉
Ozempic doesn’t seem sophisticated to me.
Hahaha....when you live-in rural Hooterville Arkansas, it's a 5 star restaurant served with fancy plastic gloves .
That hot start was amazing 😂 hit the ground running Tim!
The light is shinin on me, Tim is the reason
*Shine* ! Forevermore! You five point star...
Subway is banned in some countries because the bread isn't up to par to be considered actual bread.
$30 for 3 fake bread footlongs. Insane.
A footlong of subway bread has 6-10 grams of sugar. A 12oz. Coke has 39 grams of sugar. STFU.
Last twenty minutes easily one of my new top favorite Tim Dillon moments. So good
Saturday morning’s with Tim. Yes and yes 🙌
His ad reads are still fire; talked me into Subway for lunch today!
@@TheJoshestWhite I apologize, but the only replies I can accept are "Yes or Yes".
I just love Tim’s comedy ❤
tim is the only person on earth other than trump who can go for an hour over a mic by himself and still be entertaining the whole time.
The reason i watch tim is that he does satire irony and the truth jokes at the same time
With allies like Israel who needs enemies 🤷♂️
I hate when my dinner looks like a scab
i have always found the smell inside a Subway shop revolting. glad to hear someone else articulate this thought. i'd rather eat hot garbage. it smells better.
This is the Tim Dillon I need to see weekly! 😅
"if someone in the hood is saying ""were going a little crazy with the Venezuelans"" its probably time to relax with all the Venezuelans" lmaoooo
26:00 in the 90's my mother worked two full time jobs and raised 3 kids mostly alone, and still had the time to cook dinner most nights. We did get McDonald's a couple times a week probably but there was almost always a home cooked meal for dinner. We were neglected in other ways 😂
I am in a ER in Quebec for multiple hour but atleast i can listen to Tim's rants
Remember when Canada actually had a decent anything ?
@@dirtsmegee Remember when the US was a superpower?hahahahahahahahah
@@peppino1961 I’m Canadian stuuuuuupid 😭
@@peppino1961 I am Canadian STUUUUUPID 😭
Tim Dillon is your Witchy Woman.
when Tim goes berserk at the end ... that's gold 🤓🤭🤩😁😂🤣
If we're lucky the last thing we'll hear is Tim's voice as we see the mushroom cloud grow outside our windows
Hahahah Tim describing Madison, WI as serial killers and libs is 100% spot on 😂😂