Видео

I think I was too nice to my friend that made him think I like him Now he's obsessed It was my fault cuz I tried to get close to him as a classmate that time I felt like I need to get out of my comfort zone and make friend especially that we had somethings in common I got too excited and got close to him When i realized i started distancing myself from him but i feel really guilty cuz he looks depressed now Tbh im not ready for a relationship im trying to focus on my self but i feel so bad i dont wanna reject him and i still wanna be able to talk to him what do i do????

anxiety and boredom are my greatest triggers. It feels so pleasurable to escape into a dream world where everything is perfect, it feels heart breaking to have to give it up

I’m pretty sure Ik why I get limerant but it’s still something I can’t control. Consciously I know to keep my distance to prevent it from getting worse but sometimes I’m so infatuated by them that it’s hard not to try to interact with them. I have not been able to stop thinking about someone I haven’t spoken to or seen in over a year and yet she’s constantly on my mind, I have moments where she’s not on mind but it seems almost like as soon I notice she’s not on my mind I start thinking about her again. I remember when the connection first broke off I was completely fine with it and just went on with my day then after a few days I started to overthink the situation and performing mental gymnastics for a reason I should reach out, when I got no response it stopped I deleted her contact so I couldn’t reach out anymore then it goes back to me fantasizing about her again and then going into a streak of being annoyed that I couldn’t get her out of my head and times where I just let the thoughts run their cycle. I’m at a point where the thoughts are extremely passive most of the time or I just see her kinda as a placeholder for my fantasies rather than her being the subject of my fantasies

I find myself conversing with him when I daydream. I don’t have any personal friends in my life so maybe it’s community I’m seeking?

Can you talk about being limerant with a narcissist?

I heard limmerence can go away by rejection. Is that true? I could ask the person if they are interested in me. But the person knows people that I know. So what if the limmerent object tells other people ? 🫤 Then the limmerent object always says hi to me and acknowledges me so it makes it worse. Because it gives me hope or proof that the person does LIKE ME. But they could just be friendly. It drives me crazy that I dont know for sure how the person feels about me 🫤

I think my limmerence is worse when im bored. Could limmerence be caused by boredom?

Thank you for sharing this. Im at almost year 2 of my LE, and I have used this energy for my own "glowup", Im in the best shape of my life and I feel more confident than ever, and while I admit sometimes I wish my LO would notice my glowup (She is unfortunately within my social circle so occasional encounters are inevitable), I constantly remind myself that Im doing this for myself, not in the hopes of changing her mind, but to live for myself. A quote I liked is "It has to be this hard. If it wasnt this hard, I wouldnt be the person I am today." Im grateful for the lessons and growth I have gained from this (tho not thankful for the pain!), and Im grateful for people like you who help us navigate this terrible, yet enriching, experience.

God is my therapist

I feel like whenever I try to stay away I feel so alone. I know in my head that I am alone but not keeping contact plummets my mood to very bad and scary levels. I don't want to feel like that.

I highly request you to reply me. I had a huge limerance on this girl. She's my classmate. I approached her and man, what a conversation we had. After that, my limerance went off the roof. I became so desperate and ended up creepy. It's been a month. I purposely avoided her. But still i feel extremely guilty and embarrassing for creeping her out. Can i just leave this and move on or should i go and apologize to her??? I don't wanna creep her out ever. It ended up like this just because of my limerance

Thing is that when someone falls into limerence they are not infatuated with the LO. They are obsessed with a person they have constructed in their head and borrowed the LOs face for whatever reason. The LO might remind them of someone maybe? Who knows. Thing is that even in the sotuation that the LO reciprocates, they will never live up to the limerent’s expectations and they are in for a huge heartbreak because in the end they will be abandoned. Limerenc is unfair on the LO because you do not give them a real chance. Limerence happens during difficult times in our lives, when the brain craves dopamine to survive and not fall into depression.

I think that if someone senses being the limerent object of someone it’s because the limerent person wanted to, or because they are close enough to have a discussion, so my suggestion as a person that has lived with limerence for a very long time is to address it directly. If you notice being the object of limerence just state clearly what you are in real life to them and what you want and what your boundaries are. It helps people with limerence to ground themselves and probably look for help. Because seeing the clash between our fiction and reality is what makes us take decisions. (It is at least my personal experience) Rejection is an act of kindness, and even if you work with a limerent person, it just helps to make the relationship very clear.

Bruh daydreaming effected my work performance. My life only got better once I started embracing reality.

Thanks for the insight details about the programme. Would it be possible to share about the course length? Can we finish this degree within three years as mentioned on the website?

Absolute banger info and mastersword shirt. Thanks. Subbed. I need to rebuild my lifes foundation and not distract away from this crush

Did you struggle with living costs since you only worked part time outside of the counselling psychology doctorate?

Limerance is destructive, soul destroying destroys your self esteem and your mental health for as long as it goes on. We can kick it's arse though....and we will.

I have acknowledged my limerance. The thing is that i have been a creep for my LO and that shit just breaks my heart. I am avoiding my LO at all costs. I wamted to apologise for being that way but that would make me even more creepier. Am i right in this???

Limerence= Hell. I am stuck in this devastating situation at the moment. No contact is almost impossible cause she is a co worker. Just want to feel normal again.

nhs funded psych doctorate is so competitive..

i’m considering switching into psychology too, thanks for sharing

are there many mature students doing it? thanks

I am finally free. It took FIVE YEARS. In case it helps anyone else I came to these core realisations:- 1. It might be the same thing as the ancient greek 'mania' love. For me it was all about my low self-esteem, due to being in a bad place. If you look up mania this is the basis of that form of "love". 2. No contact permanently wouldn't work for me. I considered quitting my job and I knew it would follow me, potentially for many more years and I could not bear that. For me I needed to resolve the mania connection by bringing it into reality. I had a brief period of no contact over two months. This was enough to break the habit of needing to message them. Now I am able to work very professionally and I feel much better that it is reconciled.

Thank you, SO Much Marios; I have watched several of your videos now and have found them very helpful in a practical way. It has increased my understanding of what I am going through. My limerant object is a person I really know , a friend from long ago. I have been “ No Contact “ by Blocking my Limerant Object on all Social Media and beyond for several months now. So your suggestions about that and Zoning out have been helpful and give me things to both think about and Do besides Grieving the Loss of that Dream. It is difficult enough without having Concrete suggestions as Support. Also good to hear it takes most people 2-5 years to get the Person/ Object totally out of my System/ body. I can definitely relate to it feeling like a drug you are addicted to. Best Wishes on your Doctoral Journey. You are a great counselor already. I am following you and will continue.💔❤️‍🩹❤️❣️

Great video. I’m looking to do a doctoral degree in counselling psychology after my counselling training. Hope 2nd year treats you well!

Thank you for the insight. I’m from India and planning to go the same path as you ❤

Loved your "bad idea" section at 7.22. I haven’t relapsed w direct contact, but the awareness from the mutual circle does indeed feed the limerence. "Maybe our mutual friends will be able to get us together!" 🙄 Thankfully, the longer nc goes on, the more they forget, and the more it feels like a natural fade. Great input, thank you.

Whenever a limerent thought enters your mind tell it 'you can pass through but you cannot stay'. The reason limerence stays so long is because we keep it a secretive obsession in our heads. The more you talk to people about it, the more you realise it's nothing but grandiose projection.

Just a quick thank you🎉 I did not just want to consume your videos without any kind of appreciation. What you say is profound and professionell. It's balanced and never shrill. It helped me quite a bit❤🎉❤ In case you read this. Is the definition of limerence always limited to a person one cant get or do we find the phenomena also in relationships where one person feels much more (unreasonable) affection and romantic longing than the other person, who really does not care much and does not even bother to find a compromise? Thx❤

What actually happens when you are married to your LO? I mean, I actually had LO who was interested in me and comparable. Still blew it by being limerent, but how does limerence actually work when that person is completely available? Is it than still a problem?

Going insane! I blocked this guy back in October, didn't see him again until December and I saw him with his new girlfriend, I then didn't see him again for months until June (with girlfriend again) and I still have an obsession. During that time I developed limerence with ANOTHER guy thinking it would mean I got over the first one, but now I'm just dealing with two at once. I'll never see the first guy again, and the second one has just moved away for a year, so no contact with either

EFT tapping has helped me

i've been doing this since i was little and i never hated it, yes, it makes me 'waste' a lot of time but for me it's not a waste, i love to do it, plus i'm a writer and this is my way of living my stories. It's a part of me.

Unfortunately, I have 2 children by the individual that I’m obviously limerent over from what I can see. We stem back from high school and were even high school sweethearts but we played so many games back and forth with each other. He was my first love and Idk if I was or not but he introduced me to his mother and other family back when we were actually dating. However, he’s never been there for our children and probably never will. We dated 3 times and here within recent years; had a prison love/situationship that I ended some years ago!!! I have recently discovered that my issues are psychological from my abusive childhood etc…..so now I’m working to get over this issue; permanently even though I truly feel that I love ❤️ this guy and I’m 49. He’s 50 and we’ve been off and once since 1990. 😢😢😢😢 I did get married to another guy that lasted for almost 10 years but when I got my divorce was right back to trying to get with the limerent situation!!!! There’s where the “prison” love started or situationship. SMDH I’ve been pouring more into myself and trying to analyze it all so I can finally move on and never look back!!!

Unfortunately, I have 2 children by the individual that I’m obviously limerent over from what I can see. We stem back from high school and were even high school sweethearts but we played so many games back and forth with each other. He was my first love and Idk if I was or not but he introduced me to his mother and other family back when we were actually dating. However, he’s never been there for our children and probably never will. We dated 3 times and here within recent years; had a prison love/situationship that I ended some years ago!!! I have recently discovered that my issues are psychological from my abusive childhood etc…..so now I’m working to get over this issue; permanently even though I truly feel that I love ❤️ this guy and I’m 49. He’s 50 and we’ve been off and once since 1990. 😢😢😢😢 I did get married to another guy that lasted for almost 10 years but when I got my divorce was right back to trying to get with the limerent situation!!!! There’s where the “prison” love started or situationship. SMDH

I say the answer is YES 🎉 I'm living proof 😂😂

Do you personally offer counseling to people in the United States? How does one sign up for a session with you and how much does it cost? You’re more informed about this issue than anyone I’ve met and the least shameful about it.

How to solve limerance. Find what your avoiding with limerance. Go to that space. It's gonna hurt more that the limerance but can actually be solved so is temporary. Heal whatever wound it is. Resolved (painful and hard but worth it). Recovered limerance addict here

Thank you

My limerence resolved itself in one fell swoop: me - codependent, him - covert narcissist traits. 10 months into a relationship where I treated him as though the sun shines out of his a..e, he got drunk (again), looked me square in the eye and hurled the word c..t into my face, completely without context. While it felt like a totally bizarre and unexpected slap in the face, my love haze has evaporated, and he is blocked. Eventually the mask slips.

Can you please do a video on how you would have prepared if you didn’t have that foundation year for MSc please

Almost 2 months of no contact and it's a torture, it spikes up full on anxiety and abandonment issues but there is no other way, he rejected me and I must except it. The problem in my case is that he leaves next door to me 😢 found myself monitoring through the peeping hole when he comes back home, just to see him without him knowing, and saw him entering his house with a woman, it trigeered me to a panik frozen state and I feel lost, we are not moving flats sny time soon and I feel lost. How can I handle that?...

I have deleted all the messages, threads going back months. Now I can't read them over and over again, trying to read between the lines like its the di vinchi code. 8 months of pain and longing. Enough is enough. I don't want to feel like this anymore.

seeing as i haven't seen my LO for over 12 years and still find myself pining for a day we might bump back into each other I'm gonna go with "no"

I don’t actually mind being in limerence, my thoughts are more exciting than when I’m not but the lows hit when you come back down to earth , oh that was just a daydream and it hits you that it’s not real. Mine is quite new and someone I’ll never meet. I prefer that, I’ve had Lo’s that are local and find them more stressful.:

Are you greek georgiou? New subscriber very clear and instructive content thanks 🙏🙏

Is limmerince really that much of a problem? You seemed obsessed with it. Could we explore other topics?

I'm starting to question what Limerence even is; if it's one concept or several. I see these people who fall in love with the housekeeper they saw 20 years ago, I don't say this to be demeaning or anything, it's just it ranges from that to getting too attached to a friend. In my case I got too attached to my friend, who was always there for me during my worst depression who went away for a month and I felt really awful, figured out what Limerence is, etc. She got back, and before this I actually felt no romantic feelings, just pure emotional needs not being met (needing comfort, support, physical touch, but not in a romantic way) but basically the pain of the limerence kicked me out of the depression enough to actually feel my feelings again in general, and we vibed a lot harder of course, some chemistry developed and well, nothing ended up happening due to life circumstances but basically we're still good friends. It's worth mentioning this friend and I have been very close for a good while before I got attached, so there is something to build off there for a genuine friendship, and I of course had to do a lot of self-analysis on what feelings were actual feelings of romantic interest vs. just limerence vs. feelings of friendship, but basically I'm much less attached now after working on it for a few months while still remaining in a lot of contact. The reason it's worked is cause I looked at what needs she fulfilled in my fantasy, and why I felt this way, and why my life lead to feeling such a void in these areas. I'm working on these things hard now and going to therapy, and while I do still think about the situation a lot cause it's been intense, I'm not really thinking of fantasies much. The thoughts are far in the background now. I understand that limerence is a big spectrum, and that for a lot of people NC def is the best option, but I also feel like with people on forums and such online you get a representation of only the people who struggle the most. It of course depends on the situation, in my case with a close friend, but I really don't think NC is the way to go always. I guess we'll see in the long run. I'm very self aware of the possibility of my mind playing tricks on me, but I genuinely don't feel a strong pain anymore, just some background noise. It gets reduced in steps over time as processing occurs.