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Thanks for this. Love this format and the way you put things. :)

They just don't love at all anymore and they've come to hate you completely over time because of it and they'll never ever be able to love you and like you the way that they once did because of it because they just will never ever be able to look at all anymore love you at all anymore that certain way that they use to so once it's done it really is gone for life and thats the God's honest truth!!!

this is a literal goldmine. i hope you become successful on this platform one day

Hi can I have your email or social media platform for contact? For a business Purpose.

"the people you surround yourself with are the people who are going to have the most influence in how you turn out."

“They put you in a box/label” “Once you outgrow the idea of what they think about you, their ego feels threatened. They love to try to put you back into your place.”

I’ve always joked that if we cross-examined everyone alive today in a court of law, we’d all be deemed insane. But how can we not be, when you look at the state of the World we’re living in right now? A World that has encouraged us to turn away from our authentic selves and all spirituality, to instead integrate with personas that serve the interests of a collective shadow? As you say James-the global conflicts and the struggles many people face today are a mirror-and we’re finally reaching a point where the suffering is so great that we can’t look away. It’s definitely going to get worse-but as we approach a flashpoint between society and its collective shadow, I have faith in humanity that we’ll prevail. As individuals living in a society approaching a "Collective Dark Night of the Soul", the best thing we can do is not fall victim to the fear and malaise that’s constantly being projected onto us, but to find the courage and strength to individuate ourselves-we owe it to our ancestors, our friends and family, and descendants to be a part of the force that turns the tide towards healing!

Another great message James! As someone who used to also struggle with this, what really changed the game was to internalise-and I mean really, REALLY internalise the idea that MY time was the most valuable resource I had. The issue I find is that many of us think we already do value our time-but are unconsciously continuing to be driven and conditioned by hustle culture. Valuing my time as the core decision making heuristic has really helped to not only stop letting hustle culture erode my self-worth, but also unconsciously value other people’s time too! The surprising part for me too is that once I became more aware of this, I began to notice how many people around me didn’t value their time and as much as it pains me to say, probably had low-self worth. They slowly drifted away as I made a conscious decision to stop letting them project this onto me-and to paraphrase Jung, you'll naturally find new people who also value their time and self-worth, which definitely makes life a lot easier :)

Ive got an idea. you got ig or somewhere i can message you?

There's someone I knew for 15 years. I introduced him to one of my friends. I didn't know the person I introduced him to was someone who stole stuff. I cut that person off. The person that steals and the person I knew for 15 years still hangout today. I stopped talking to the person I knew for 15 years because he still hangs out the thief, I've never been a thief so why would I hangout with someone like that? Just goes to show you TRUE FRIENDSHIP ISN'T DETERMINED BY TIME.

I went to my home country earlier this year. One thing I realized with myself is everybody moved on except me. I am going back in a month it seems like I got left behind more. That is the reality of life.

Loving the content, loving the channel... This is an important topic, great share!

Very well put but I feel like it's important to note this is how surface level friendships work. A truly deep meaningful friendship FOCUSES on growing alongside each other.

Di mo kami maloloko BGYO Gelo

This video came just in time, my friend. I’ve been trying to get a second job because even though I and my wife both make well above minimum wage, it’s become harder and harder to make our dollars stretch. The problem is, I can’t seem to find one! Which made my feelings of self worth go down the tubes lately. I definitely will attempt to take your words to heart😊

Hi, can you recommend any books, articles etc on this topic? I'd like to learn more about this. Thanks

Hi my friend, I ❤your videos. You should get more likes and subscribers than you have right now for this fabulous context. ❤️ you man!

I agree. It’s all about flow state!

“What is it all for”. Asking myself this question makes me depressed. A lot of people have a life goal or family support to keep them from losing hope. My logic: “I need to stop overthinking.” My emotions: “why are we here? Just to suffer?” Stay strong💎🐶

Idk if anyone would answer me here. But I have had the same 3 friends for over a decade now and I have had my own battles of mental health in the way too but lately I have in fact out grew the severity of it ig I'm now much better and my beliefs have changed too and morals and opinions I also started to care alot for my religion and that helped alot and while all of that was happening they started to hit a really low ground with mental health And in this period of me outgrow the severity of my depression I had a break up .. and no one was there at all to me next to me at that time because like I said they started to hit a very low ground when it came to mental health And I just felt very lonely and very lost and the depression hit again since everytime I asked for help I was rejected A couple of months have passed since the break up now and I'm much much better Yet they are getting even more and more weirder and distant and those months of the breakup I realised alot of unhealthy behaviours and dynamics between me and them that has been going on for years So a day ago i decided to talk about it and say my feelings and say that I felt very lonely at the time of the break up and that I feel like it's not gonna work for many reasons But i was told by them that Im selfish and self centred for speaking about that because I shouldn't share these feelings since they are going through depression. And now I feel very very awful and a bad person and they have told me that they just don't want to talk to me anymore because I shared those feelings It's a very weird complicated situation but I just feel guilty now because they think I'm blaming them when all I wanted to do was talk out my feelings and say that I can't do it anymore because I realised alot of bad shit that has been here for so long even before they struggled with anything. So idk how I should feel or do I just feel lost cuz I thought what I did was fine and the right thing but they have demonised me Everytime I would talk to them in these past months they would say or do something that would bring me back into that state of depression and anxiety And I'd feel like we just think so so differently about everything Also they just would disappear for months and weeks even if in the midth of talking to them about sever things that are happening They would ask and say tell me more but never respond again They never expressed any signs of missing me or wanting to met me at all for months or even see me They would come back and talk whenever they felt like they want or can but then quickly disappear again and I'd have to be on that same train and kind of adapt to when they want to talk or not I felt like an entertainment I felt alone I felt like I had no friends at all I think part of it also is that when I had depression they all were fine So they had someone other than me to talk to or have fun with I was also blamed alot for my actions when I was depressed and I apologised to them about it all cuz they are right One friend is also very avoidante and never even talks to any of us no matter what her state is she is just cant care (her words not mine) One friend whatever I do is never enough and I just get a painc attack everytime I interact with her And the last one is clingy and touchy and caring for only one person in the group and she said that that's cuz " she's not used to being like that with me" even tho I never rejected her.

If you are still talking about friendship and friends, you are still a boy.

I need to know if that kitten has a owner 😂 it's clearly hungry

Here in the UK we have big a bunch of crisis(s?) happening. it’s just been announced that the country is bankrupt due to many years of bad spending and corruption. They’re raising taxes😩 things are gonna get worse before they get better, hopefully🤞 Is that a cat I hear in the background? Or a bird? Catbird!😮

I'm so sorry I'm really tryna focus on what your saying but the kitten meowing in the video is making it so hard LOL

Some stuff here is true. But I worry the motivation behind it is more focused on "Im more professionally successful and therefore are too good for them now" Looking at friends in such a transactional way, where they have to provide value to you in other ways besides good times is sad anf unfortunately a symptom of hustle culture. I have my own business, i graduated university, i wasnt the best student but i got decent grades because i was lucky enough to be reasonably smart. I have a few friends who are mild alcoholics working dead end jobs who i used to work with in university. They arent going anywhere, but I still hangout with them. Theyre good, interesting dudes and we jam and play guitar or whatever, nobody worries were at different points in our life. If you outgrow friends in the way you just dont get along or have fun with eachother anymore, thats a reason to part ways. But if youre parting ways because you see yourself as better and more advanced than them, i see that as a problem and you will likely start losing more and more friends. This mindset is a recipe to either have no friends at all or a bunch of like you, yes men and a really boring friendship. Just becaue someone isnt driven by career or family, doesnt mean they have no value.

lol they outgrew me.

You have a beautiful face clear skin what’s your skincare routine ❤and diet. You look really Healthy!!!

Deep friendship involves sacrifices that most people are just not willing to take. And that is okay. A lot of people don’t have a deep friendship, and still live a happy life.

Out of context but u’re hot af

In this conundrum right now, but my issue is I don't have anywhere else to go or lean on to really. I used to meet alot of new people, and also just as often, cut out the ones who cause me distress. But because my circles have grown so small, there is not much fallback for me to go to if I were to cut this circle off. Sure I there are people at my current job that I love to talk with very much, but I never found it easy to transition someone from colleague to friend very easily, because even when I do it fizzles out quickly or its very light acquaintances. I do want to put effort into these friendships but it gets harder to each time I feel like it gets one sided and me reaching out ends feeling pathetic as I am chasing coattails. Albeit, I have grown quite exhausted of meeting new and cutting the old so often, that I don't really have anyone I could share about the small tidbits and details in my life on a regular basis. As of the last person who had that role in my life, well it seems like they looked down on the way I dealt with things in life, which feels completely disrespectful, added with the fact I do have more progression in my life half out of luck half out of being able to power through things through sheer will. It has made it hard for me to look at them again without feeling like they are being a hypocrite when they are venting to me, in which they did mention they didn't like to be pitied, which means I either listen passively and get mildly annoyed by the past hypocrisy I fail to let go, or I mention my perspective with unsolicited advice and criticism which just makes them feel more worthless. With this gap, I just want to leave and go, but where else is the question. Anyways, thats just my lil rant I can't really seem to have the heart to tell anyone in real life so random strangers it is!

Your assessment of Tate is 100% spot on.

This probably the WORST moment to get this video recommended 😭😭😭

My friendships have completely changed over the years. It’s mainly due to different paths in life. I’ve only maintained contact with a very small handful of people since my high school and college years. I don’t think it’s malicious. We just end up pursuing different paths in life as we get older. It’s natural. People just go their separate ways after high school and college and that’s okay. It’s a part of life. It’s a part of getting older and growing wiser.

I 100% agree with this advice. I am a business owner and only became who I became once I let go of my friends and made new ones who are a part of my new group.

I don't know anyone who can't clearly observe it's a clown fiesta. But if one wants things to be better, pointing out that it's a fiesta, being apolitical and saying we need something better isn't sufficient. If you care you need to understand these different facets. One example you gave is the idea that 'the system has failed 99%'. If it were true, it would be different, rather we have done what we've meant to do, which is provide the boomers with a comfortable life and a comfortable retirement. You might not have intended that, but that is the demographic in congress, the demographic with the most resources, a demographic that goes to the polls, and so on.

At my current stage I don't feel like I have outgrown any relationships of mine. I only recently started watching these sorts of videos where people share their opinions on core subjects of human nature so I have lots to learn. This was an interesting video and you have earned a subscriber, processing information likes this really takes time and own experience. Especially for me because recently I have been consuming a lot of media similar to this form of content and naturally with the overload of different information and perspectives it's hard to gauge how much I believe and can apply to my own life. I feel a lot of these videos have a bigger impact on people who are going through such problems but the current stage of my life is one with very little hardships and much to be grateful for. I watch these videos to learn. to learn about myself and other people with more experience and how they perceive things compared to me. I watch these things so one day if I am in these situations I can act appropriately in a way that I personally deem correct and not have any major regrets. All in all thanks for the video James and I hope you continue making content.

Honestly, this should always be emotional. The only people I've actively ditched were straight up toxic and had no motivation to become serious about their ambitions. Money is not that important

Bro had no friends to begin with but talking as if he had dozens of them💀💀

I have the same lamp lol

Hi can I know if I can contact you ?

Your content and this channel is such a gem. More of us need to hear this kind of thing, especially in the western world! Unfortunately it seems as though these kind of channels are mostly shadow banned on most platforms, as well as other truth-telling related content. Keep it up James!

Another topic that hits very close to home James :) having had a strained relationship with my Ego for most of my life, I’m keen to share some ideas that build on what you've discussed and helped me get unstuck. With consideration of the Ego and its death/rebirth, I find the Internet’s overuse of “narcissism” and “gaslighting” as labels alongside their semantic drift highly relevant. For a lot of people, these labels are unconsciously put into the same bucket of a “big ego”, which as you’ve astutely pointed out James, is more accurately grouped with a “small ego” that lacks integration with the Self. Paraphrasing Freud, "narcissism is a normal stage in our ego development but becomes a pathology if it persists into adulthood." And to that point, the ubiquity of these terms and their projection these days is probably indicative of unhealthy egos as a wider spread issue. And nothing embodies the dangers of an unhealthy ego better than the tale of “Narcissus” and an interpretation of its message by Alone-the author of the eponymous “The Last Psychiatrist” blog, focused on addressing our culture of narcissism. To summarise it as best I can, most people understand the tragedy of Narcissus as someone who loved themselves so much they became infatuated with their own reflection-staring at it until they wasted away. “What an interesting story, this is why our society is broken and so many people’s lives are devoid of meaning! Thank God I’m not like that.” is likely what many people’s Egos would tell them after listening to the myth of Narcissus, all while failing to recognise their projection of the same pathology onto others. The message is surprisingly trite, no? Except there’s another allegory between the lines-one that most people miss because they unconsciously identify so strongly with their ego that they're blinded the real message! This real message is that we are all Narcissus, deceived into some semblance of having meaningful lives by identifying with our reflections-that is to say, the reflection is our Ego and our Self is Narcissus, merely an observer that’s intently watching and waiting something for someone save us. But that someone is our Self, and what happened to Narcissus in the story is what will happen to all of us if we too just sit there and stare into the abyss-for the abyss will also stare back and consume us, to paraphrase Nieztche. Put bluntly-if we spend all of our time feeding/identifying our ego and intellectualising our identity as avoidance, this all but guarantees that we won’t carry out the actions needed to meet the potential that our authentic higher Self demands from us. Therein lies the rub for why we should kill our Ego-because over time, as we experience more trauma, our higher Self begins to disassociate from our Ego. That is to say, Ego deaths and the following rebirth are a vital part of the individuation process, and your video is a timely reminder to reassess how integrated we truly are-because it’s precisely when you think the work is done that your Ego has successfully taken possession of your psyche. Having been through this same journey of Ego death and rebirth, here’s 4 steps I'd give to my past self: 1. Cease and the endless cycle of unconscious consumption and recognise that the ego is insatiable. The Ego will kick and scream as it realises you’re gaining awareness of its chokehold on you, but you must not let it drag you back into the abyss. 2. To resist the Ego, do the opposite of unconscious consumption-conscious creation. That is, start creating something, anything. Writing, drawing, it doesn’t matter; just take action. If you need an example, this very comment is one! This works because to exist is to create-and repressing this part of our soul is in my opinion, a key contributor to the catastrophic deterioration of mental health outcomes we’re unfortunately seeing now. 3. Listen close and listen well! As you consciously create and cease unconsciously consuming, a gap in your consciousness and moments of silence will begin to materialise. It’s in this gap you’ll hear your soul’s cries louder and louder as it approaches from the distance. You must continue these steps until these cries are too loud to ignore-the soul revealing itself as the antithesis to your Ego-the authentic self! 4. Together with your new found authentic self, you must symbolically slay your Ego so it can be reborn anew-growing under the guidance of your Self rather than the Other as it has been up until this point. *An important consideration is that these 4 steps aren't chronological-they're actually all happening at the same time, all the time!

Hi James, great advice, and something that I've experienced now that I'm in my late 30s. Also, I recognize those buildings behind you, that's Gantry Plaza in LIC!

Are they really friends if they treat your growth as a threat? 🤷🏽 Life happens and communication will slow down. Though, to me, The friendship does not necessarily end, only changed ❤

I’m glad you were never my friend

You’re cute❤

This is side of the life that is bittersweet - we outgrow ourselves and outgrow other people, sometimes the closets relationships. It will hurt but we're making space for people who will be better now.

Cool name bro

I like that term.The Evolving ego.😎

this is your high school friend's mother. Jeffrey will never outgrow as your friend 😂