- Видео 255
- Просмотров 739 456
feastmastress
США
Добавлен 27 окт 2020
Damn I'm dying.
Just not yet.
But like in slo-mo. So it’s super weird.
Everyone has a cancer diagnosis story. You remember the date. The day of the week. The time of the day. The exact words exchanged. The slow melting of your brain.
Then someone hits fast forward and we find ourselves standing over a grave or listening to someone waxing poetically about their beloved person that has expired. Expired? Moved on? Moved on to where? The thing is none of that matters - it’s no longer your story anyways because you are dead. Remember the diagnosis part?
So what happens in the middle?
What about the fact that I’m dying over and over again every day all day long? But I’m not dead. Not yet. I’m just dying of stage four colon cancer … a little bit more every day.
This is not a vlog about cancer.
It’s the journey of a woman living with cancer and dying of cancer.
It’s my unfiltered story of how everyday I choose to continue shitting rainbows.
#Stage4ColonCancer #ShittingRainbows
Just not yet.
But like in slo-mo. So it’s super weird.
Everyone has a cancer diagnosis story. You remember the date. The day of the week. The time of the day. The exact words exchanged. The slow melting of your brain.
Then someone hits fast forward and we find ourselves standing over a grave or listening to someone waxing poetically about their beloved person that has expired. Expired? Moved on? Moved on to where? The thing is none of that matters - it’s no longer your story anyways because you are dead. Remember the diagnosis part?
So what happens in the middle?
What about the fact that I’m dying over and over again every day all day long? But I’m not dead. Not yet. I’m just dying of stage four colon cancer … a little bit more every day.
This is not a vlog about cancer.
It’s the journey of a woman living with cancer and dying of cancer.
It’s my unfiltered story of how everyday I choose to continue shitting rainbows.
#Stage4ColonCancer #ShittingRainbows
Видео
#225 - back in hospital / moving to hospice / lesions on on bones
Просмотров 72 тыс.4 месяца назад
#225 - back in hospital / moving to hospice / lesions on on bones
#224 - spread in the liver, kidneys, and lungs / getting MRI s for specifics
Просмотров 22 тыс.4 месяца назад
Unfortunately, the results of my CT scan this week showed spread to the liver, lungs and kidneys
#223 - strengthening / battling sadness / trying new treatment
Просмотров 6 тыс.5 месяцев назад
#223 - strengthening / battling sadness / trying new treatment
#222 - return to the hospital / insert tube into chest / homeward bound
Просмотров 7 тыс.5 месяцев назад
#222 - return to the hospital / insert tube into chest / homeward bound
#221 - made it home/home oxygen first time
Просмотров 7 тыс.5 месяцев назад
#221 - made it home/home oxygen first time
#220 - celebrating pride today / still in icu / close to intubation
Просмотров 7 тыс.5 месяцев назад
Whirlwind of a week in the icu
#219 - procedure canceled at the last minute by insurance / in hospital with pneumonia
Просмотров 13 тыс.6 месяцев назад
#219 - procedure canceled at the last minute by insurance / in hospital with pneumonia
#218 - fathers day / physical therapy / smoothie ingredients / spinal cord stimulator 
Просмотров 3,9 тыс.6 месяцев назад
Smoothie: banana, half an avocado, mango, blueberries, fresh spinach, mushroom powder, and a plant-based milk 
#217 - bulging discs / chosen family / ice cream
Просмотров 3,5 тыс.6 месяцев назад
If you'd like to support the research needed for folks w metastatic cancer: ttps://ruclips.net/video/ggdmoT8RtVM/видео.htmlsi=P0bMmysKaDzDtr9u If you'd like to support an amazing program for those living w cancer. An experience with this program allows you the opportunity to step outside of your cancer self for a weekend. To not be treated like a frail person was heartwarming. theriverbendproje...
#216 - moving into a wheelchair, turned out to be quite liberating 
Просмотров 5 тыс.6 месяцев назад
Chatting through nutrition, battling my ego to move into a wheelchair and celebrating being able to read If you'd like to support the research needed for folks w metastatic cancer: ttps://ruclips.net/video/ggdmoT8RtVM/видео.htmlsi=P0bMmysKaDzDtr9u If you'd like to support an amazing program for those living w cancer. An experience with this program allows you the opportunity to step outside of ...
#215 - massage /meditation reflecting on a great week of world building
Просмотров 2,7 тыс.6 месяцев назад
this week has been all meditation creating healing paths If you'd like to support the research needed for folks w metastatic cancer: ttps://ruclips.net/video/ggdmoT8RtVM/видео.htmlsi=P0bMmysKaDzDtr9u If you'd like to support an amazing program for those living w cancer. An experience with this program allows you the opportunity to step outside of your cancer self for a weekend. To not be treate...
#214 - turning pain into rainbows yet sometimes it’s a bit rough
Просмотров 3,3 тыс.7 месяцев назад
Playing with things this week in meditative sessions to distract from the pain and send healing energy to the parts that need it. If you'd like to support the research needed for folks w metastatic cancer: ttps://ruclips.net/video/ggdmoT8RtVM/видео.htmlsi=P0bMmysKaDzDtr9u If you'd like to support an amazing program for those living w cancer. An experience with this program allows you the oppor...
#213 - happy Mother’s Day / umm I woke up to a pretty functional leg
Просмотров 3,1 тыс.7 месяцев назад
If you'd like to support the research needed for folks w metastatic cancer: ttps://ruclips.net/video/ggdmoT8RtVM/видео.htmlsi=P0bMmysKaDzDtr9u If you'd like to support an amazing program for those living w cancer. An experience with this program allows you the opportunity to step outside of your cancer self for a weekend. To not be treated like a frail person was heartwarming. theriverbendproje...
212 - friend transitions/ ego check / scans clear
Просмотров 5 тыс.7 месяцев назад
If you'd like to support the research needed for folks w metastatic cancer: ttps://ruclips.net/video/ggdmoT8RtVM/видео.htmlsi=P0bMmysKaDzDtr9u If you'd like to support an amazing program for those living w cancer. An experience with this program allows you the opportunity to step outside of your cancer self for a weekend. To not be treated like a frail person was heartwarming. theriverbendproje...
#211 - drowning in love from chosen family
Просмотров 3,9 тыс.7 месяцев назад
#211 - drowning in love from chosen family
#210 - always been able to crawl out of the hole that cancer puts me in, but maybe not now
Просмотров 6 тыс.8 месяцев назад
#210 - always been able to crawl out of the hole that cancer puts me in, but maybe not now
#209 - world building for what comes next - what happens when we die?
Просмотров 4,1 тыс.8 месяцев назад
#209 - world building for what comes next - what happens when we die?
#208 - hills and valleys of pain w laughter
Просмотров 3,5 тыс.8 месяцев назад
#208 - hills and valleys of pain w laughter
#206 - mind manifesting realities that don’t exist
Просмотров 4,3 тыс.9 месяцев назад
#206 - mind manifesting realities that don’t exist
#205 - more moose oh my and maybe the leg nerve damage is permanent maybe I’m impatient
Просмотров 4,2 тыс.9 месяцев назад
#205 - more moose oh my and maybe the leg nerve damage is permanent maybe I’m impatient
#204 - logic and empathy landed me on the opioids ride
Просмотров 5 тыс.9 месяцев назад
#204 - logic and empathy landed me on the opioids ride
#203 - birthdays, broken ribs and goodbyes
Просмотров 7 тыс.9 месяцев назад
#203 - birthdays, broken ribs and goodbyes
#202 - it’s amazing how fast a physical issue can make your mind spiral 
Просмотров 6 тыс.10 месяцев назад
#202 - it’s amazing how fast a physical issue can make your mind spiral 
#201 - taken by surprise how scary the silence makes it
Просмотров 4 тыс.10 месяцев назад
#201 - taken by surprise how scary the silence makes it
#200 -5 yrs of treatment:never being able to plan, always having to be adaptable. Its over. I'm free
Просмотров 6 тыс.10 месяцев назад
#200 -5 yrs of treatment:never being able to plan, always having to be adaptable. Its over. I'm free
#199 -for me walking away from infusion is not quitting but choosing life -cuz umm it was killing me
Просмотров 6 тыс.10 месяцев назад
#199 -for me walking away from infusion is not quitting but choosing life -cuz umm it was killing me
#198 - I think I figured out how to make this be my finest hour 
Просмотров 3,5 тыс.10 месяцев назад
#198 - I think I figured out how to make this be my finest hour 
#197 - oh this week I was cosplaying in biblical times of petulants and boils oh my
Просмотров 3,1 тыс.11 месяцев назад
#197 - oh this week I was cosplaying in biblical times of petulants and boils oh my
Wow loved your intro, subed.
Thank you so very much for letting the world see the human face of this demonic cancer. Before the internet cancer was known and hidden, but now the world know sees all of your beutiful faces. Thank you my friend
Really miss. I watch you every Sunday. You are still an inspiration.
Prayers 🤲 for healing 🙏
Sunday after Thanksgiving… thinking of you Nicole. 🌈
Gaby, I wish you a blessed Thanksgiving 💐. Re-watching Nicole's videos are very inspiring when I am feeling down and blue, she always had a smile on her face no matter how bad her day had been. She is truly missed🕊️🦄🌈🌼💕
Missing you today and always. 💙🩵🩵💙🦋🦋💙🩵🩵💙
I still of you think of you, especially on Sundays. I miss you, my favorite unicorn.
Im so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you. RIP nicole. ❤
RIP 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻idol
My daughter was on Hospice for 2 months. I can’t praise them enough. God bless you. ❤
Miss her so much
😔🥺😢🙏💔
Nooooo!! 😢🥺😔💔
I'm back here, I miss Nicole
When somebody can do thaaat then it is you
I miss sending you songs and eagerly awaiting your response. Lovely soul, I hope you are happy. Shedding a tear for you right now. ❤
I think of Nicole all the time….miss you my friend, miss your smile, your “Hey there, thanks for joining me” with such a sweet angel voice. I hope you are doing as well as can be expected Gabriele. 🫂 Bless you ….🍷cheers little lady, I’m sure you have them laughing up there. ❤️💩🌈🦄😔
I will be thinking of you this Halloween season. RIP
This showed up randomly. You were so full of life. I've missed you since you've been gone, hoping you're flying high dear Nicole.
Hope you’re doing well Gabby. Missing Nicole.
So sorry for your loss ♥🙏
Thinking about Nicole, what a truly beautiful and unique individual..... A friend from afar through this channel and for that I'm so grateful. Taking time to think of her. Wow, what a force.
Another Sunday. ..missing the beauty of Nicole. ❤
RUclips recommended this Channel, My Condolences
Missing our Sunday visits with Nicole.
This was in my feed. This wonderful woman passed one month ago (August 2024). I will always remember Nicole. I miss her.
Gaby, I can’t thank you enough for putting these video’s up for us. Sending you hugs, love and peace. Hug the puppy for me. Nicole was such a beautiful sole. I so miss her.
Gaby, I can’t thank you enough for putting these video’s up for us. Sending you hugs, love and peace. Hug the puppy for me. Nicole was such a beautiful sole. I so miss her.
I can't express the terrible sadness I feel that Nicky has left this world ❤😢
Nicole, you are so missed beautiful. Sunday’s without chats are hard. Much love to you, Gaby, family & friends. Your memory is a blessing! RIP my friend.
RIP SWEET NICOLE
Sundays have not been the same. You are missed. Hoping you are enjoying your colorful world…in the rainbows.💗
Thank you for sharing this sad news, Gaby. What an amazing woman. May she rest peacefully with the unicorns and rainbows, hiking and biking to her heart's content. My thoughts are with you, Gaby, as well as sweet Tilly and her family and friends. ❤
Thinking of you Nicole, my Sundays won’t be the same.
May the angels acompany you every day and give you the strength to accept your departure and guide you to your final destination where there is only peace and inimaginable love. May your partner have the strength to let you go. ❤️ your soul.
She passed on 8.22.24
@@fififirestone3787 may your days carry you with the beautiful memories you built together throughout your time together. Please take care of yourself. So very sorry.
@@SteveAdams-yv2ss I'm not her wife, just a RUclips friend.
@@fififirestone3787 sorry .
I miss her cheery 'hey there, thanks for joining me' ! It's hard to believe she's gone.... Hopefully somewhere nice! ❤
This is Sunday, September 15...I miss you, Nicole. The only consolation is that you are free from pain. But...your glitter warriors miss you so much.❤
Miss you ❤
I miss you, Nicole 😢
I miss you . I hope your poor wife is ok . ❤❤❤
I miss you, friend
PLEASE ACCEPT JESUS AS YOUR SAVIOR. NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR ETERNAL SOUL SWEETHEART
I think of her so often! Such a strong soul! I hope she is at peace she deserves it more than anyone! 💜🌈💜🌈💜🌈
So sorry for your loss. ❤️🇨🇦🙏
I’m so sorry for your loss! We will of course miss this amazing and beautiful soul! I wish you all the best that Nichole would want for you. Take care of yourself! ❤
I miss Nicole... I just fucking really miss her 😞
Same 😞
Same💯😒
No need to curse.
I miss Monday mornings when I would go to my computer for Nicoles Sunday update. Is it ok to ask if we will see her "service" im sure that it will be a beautiful send off?
Gabby, sending you my love and heartfelt condolences. I am so sorry Nicole has passed. I can’t tell you how much she meant to me. She was smart, witty, loving, kind, adventurous and always concerned that others were ok. I went looking for a Sunday video and found your post. I am heartbroken for you and your loved ones and friends. Nicole’s memory is a beautiful blessing to us all.
Nicoles old videos from before I started following her are showing up in my feed. Nice to see her as she loved to be-outside, active and with her pup! Love the trolls. How fun that must have been for the kids.