The Case for Modest Clothing
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 26 авг 2024
- Support the channel by visiting brianholdswort...
Music written and generously provided by Paul Jernberg. Find out more about his work as a composer here: pauljernberg.com
If societal norms are such that it’s normal or even expected that some, especially young attractive woman, should embrace their sexuality by dressing in revealing clothing, then that ends up restricting the freedom of those who wish not to be participating in that expression of sexuality.
We probably agree that strangers shouldn’t be looking at other strangers, for the most part, and since I am one of the people who agrees with that, I do my best not to look and make assessments of other people’s bodies when I’m out in public, but I’m finding that increasingly difficult to do, through no choice of my own.
Because if everyone, or at least a significant portion of people are dressed in a revealing way, especially now that it’s summer time again, when I go to a public event in which there are crowds of people, I find myself averting my eyes everywhere I look only to discover that unless I want to be staring at the ground, there isn’t much point in going out to crowded placed.
In other words, my #freedom to simply be in public and enjoy the thing I went to go enjoy, like a concert, a day at the beach, or the rodeo, is now an exercise in finding the slivers of geography where my eyes can rest without seeing body parts that I didn’t ask to see.
We talk about freedom of thought, freedom of speech, and freedom of mobility as intrinsic rights, but what about the freedom to be able to open your eyes and not have someone else’s attempt at making a provocative statement about their body imposed on my field of vision.
Because that’s what it is, by the way, and that’s what makes this whole mentality so incoherent. To insist on pushing the boundaries of revealing clothing is to do something provocative and to act provocatively is, by definition, to try to create attention for yourself. But then to insist that people aren’t allowed to give that attention is to insist on a contradiction.
#modestclothing #modestout #chastity
Podcast Version: brianholdswort...
as a woman i dress with intent. if i wear a short or tight dress, booth shorts or a low cut shirt i do so so get peoples attention. i enjoy being looked at so i dress the part.
if a man stares at me or whistles as i walk by i don't care. i quite literally wanted that exact reaction.
of course clothes are never an excuse to rape or assault someone. never. that's just violence and never justified except for cases of self defense. but i don't think anyone can tell a person where to look and where not. especially if the parts are out on full display voluntarily.
I appreciate your candid reply. No doubt you'll get attention, but it will come from men who want something from you rather than from those who want to give something of themselves. The former is lust, the latter is love. If your romantic relationships are often characterized by selfishness, transactional attitude, and a lack of appreciation for your dignity, this might be why.
As a woman who likes *some* attention (come on, we all grew up with Cinderella), just wear bright red! Or a long dress or a sun hat or grow out your hair or whatever is slightly unusual for your culture. You'll probably get noticed *more* than the girl in the crop top because as he says in the video: immodest dress is becoming the norm.
There are so many ways to draw attention without revealing skin. I can tell you, wearing a modest red dress will draw the eye and they might think you are pretty, but not necessarily sexual. I agree with the video about intimacy being just with my man. Everyone else can think "pretty," "classy," or the biblical virtue: "chaste."
Let me know how that works for you when you grow old, your looks fade, skin sags, and you no longer turn men's heads. Living a life as the object of men's attention will leave you hollow and unfulfilled. Christ calls us to be better versions of ourselves.
@@BrianHoldsworth amen
A demonstration of low self worth that you choose to show yourself for a whistle and a cat call. You're surely so much more worthy!
I am a Catholic convert from the Mormon church and as a girl and a young woman I was given many lessons on modesty, but one lesson that really stuck with me was a teacher saying, "Modesty is respect for other people. It's not about wether or not YOU are comfortable dressing like that, it's what you are forcing everyone else to see." That really hit home for me.
Um, no. People have a right to their own comfort over what others around you want.
@@Unclenate1000 What a terrible and selfish take.
Hm. The best reason is that it is for God. We are made in His image, we are to defend His honor and our dignity. We are pointing to God, as Mary and Joseph always did.
You are not an accessory to another's sin in this case, unless you dress provocatively.
Obviously, each are held responsible for thier own sin.
And because of that, when you dress modestly, you are loving your neighbor, as yourself, for the love of God. God bless
@@Unclenate1000 according to the worldly perspective. Christian attitudes are entirely different from what the world deems as appropriate.
@@izabeera166 so I should get a heatstroke or else I'm selfish?
"If you share intimacy with everyone, then it is not intimate. It will never be special because it is not exclusive."
Facts
I think part of the point is precisely to make these not be seen as 'intimate' by society any longer
What if I love women equally and I'm only intimate if the woman asks for intimacy
What is so intimate about my biceps, stomach, and thighs?
@@galacticgardevoir9496 That's a bit of a bad question because it misses the point entirely. There is nothing objectively intimate about any body part because the perception of intimacy comes from a certain cultural context. This means that in a hypothetical society where the entire body is constantly displayed, such as a nude society, there would largely be no sense of body intimacy.
The point isn't to contradict this, the point is that this would be undesirable for a series of moral and philosophical beliefs, which don't even need to be related to religion (I'm saying that because this is a religious channel primarily). I, myself, am agnostic, but still believe there is a worrying lack of intimacy in today's society, and this is shown by the trend to consider progressively less body parts to be intimate. So I end up agreeing with the points made in this video.
There’s a holy GOD in Heaven, Who created you and I for His glory, but our sins have separated us from Him. the wages of sin is DEATH, but the FREE Gift of GOD is eternal life in CHRIST the LORD. in love, CHRIST died for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. repent, stop living in sin, and believe in the Gospel.
I dress modestly for others. It is a social etiquette practice that has served me well.
I dress sexy cuz im hot af. If u dont like it stay jealous. If youre a man and you dont like it, stay gay🤣
I worked for a major grocery store that I won’t name. We had dress codes and rules, but we also had several 16 year old female employees who would ignore the rules by (constantly) wearing “camel toe” “booty shorts.” They would stand on top of the freezer ledges to work product, at which time old men would glare.
They would also approach me as I was sitting on the floor to work a bottom shelf. I appreciate their trust (which I never violated), but it made me extremely uncomfortable.
That. Isn’t. Appropriate. But the managers were TERRIFIED of enforcing the rules, which is clearly indicative of cultural problems.
Terrified of what? They can hardly be accused of sexism or harassment when the company policy is clear on what is and is not allowed. I bet they didn't have an issue disciplining their male employees.
I'm a retired nurse and believe it or not, we had similar issues. Younger nurses would wear shirts that would rise up when they were hanging an IV bag or would be a little bit too low cut. I worked on a paediatric floor. Finally it took one teenage boy's mom to speak up to the nurse manager for things to change. The boy would get embarrassed and look away when these nurses were working in his room. Poor kid was just trying to heal.
Yikes. One wonders how these girls have been raised? What are mom and dad like?
We live in a debauched culture.
Deus Vult
@@alaunaenpunto3690 Honestly they are right to be afraid of being accused of sexual harassment because despite the fact the girls are wearing less than decent clothing and want to be noticed for their bodies if you intentionally notice then its harassment, (according to their thought patterns).
We have similar issues in Middle and High schools with the male teachers. They also can't comment on dress code violations without fearing repercussions which could cost them their jobs.
Not following dress codes can be a safety issue also though but the whole issue has been so convoluted by feminist that men truly are afraid (rightly so) for the possible consequences of enforcement.
That is a time in life where the man can choose to use his neck and eye muscles that God gave him. 🙄
16 year old girls are not out to get you. 🙄
I am a woman and this bothers me too. I don't think young women realize how much their lack of clothing entices the wrong kind of attention.
The problem is they WANT that kind of attention often, and I say this as both a woman and an unashamed feminist.
@@madamebkrt Exactly, go to know at least one feminist recognizes the fact. Why do they want this attention?
@@crusader2112 Huge emphasis on sex in our society and being encouraged to feel that being sexualised is validating. They are victims of the sick world we're currently living in.
@@madamebkrt Very true. I agree. Thanks.
@@crusader2112 probably because they didn’t receive unconditional love nor sufficient validation from their parents, but the unfulfilled needs are there to stay, and have to be met one way or another.
Definitely a valid perspective, but I would take a different one than the "freedom" angle. I think a better perspective to employ, when promoting modesty in dress, is to see it as the flipside of masculine chivalry. Chivalry is important as a kind of spiritual discipline to avoid the potential abuses of particularly male power. For example, we engage in exercises like giving up seats to women, holding doors, carrying bags/burdens , etc., not because women aren't actually capable of doing these things. Rather, it is important for society that we, as men, train ourselves to put our comparatively greater physical gifts at the service of women, as a symbolic statement of recognition that this power should never be used AGAINST them, and as spiritual conditioning to prevent us from ever slipping into such abuse. Likewise, modesty is a discipline by which women make a symbolic statement to society that they recognize their OWN, comparatively greater powers vis a vis men. In this case, it is the power of influence. Women, simply by the natural dynamics of human sexuality, possess much greater powers of influence over men than vice versa. Like chivalry, modesty is a spiritual discipline for women by which they recognize this power discrepancy and engage in exercises to help condition themselves not to abuse it (e.g. by using this power of influence to manipulate or degrade men, rather than using it in their service, to motivate them toward right action, toward the appreciation of beauty, and to apply gentle corrective pressure when needed). Ultimately, I think it is healthier to prompt our daughters toward modesty as an engagement in the same type of exercises of self restraint that men are called to engage in through chivalry. After all, it is precisely this understanding that the modern culture seeks to attack, by encouraging women to abandon any restraint in the use of their bodies as a mere tool to exercise power over men, rather than a holy component of their very persons, to be given in love toward the creation of new life. The culture attacks men in a very similar way, but that's a topic for another time, I guess.
Never thought of doing acts for women like this. Great thought!
That was beautiful. Food for thought!
That is a great take! Never thought of it in this way. Thanks !
Extremely well thought through...thanks!
Excellent explanation of the power and responsibility of the sexes! Every gift convey a responsibility. Let’s not abuse our power.
Modesty is a very under rated virtue. It includes not boasting about yourself, which is prideful. Showing off your body, flaunting your "parts" is also boastfulness.
I have realized over the past year the hypocrisy of this idea of "empowerment" by wearing less and therefore showing your "sexual liberation" while calling anyone who disagrees with that and saying they're anti-woman or something for disagreeing. Thank you for putting this idea into words.
The point folks miss is that just because something is a freedom does not mean that you have to engage in it. For those that are OK with the looks, and many are, dressing like that is fine. Some people are OK with creating amateur porn and some are not. But, dressing like that and then whining about people looking is childish and narcissistic. It's one thing if we're talking about at the gym or running on a hot day where something baggy may not be practical, but most of these folks aren't engaged in any such activities, it's about attention.
@@SmallSpoonBrigade Modesty is not situational, neither at the gym or at the beach. Making modesty "situational" is what got us into the current troubles.....
@@jamesyoung187totally
@@SmallSpoonBrigadeit's not ok, because they're imposing it on the rest of us and it's pornographic at this point. Many of us women are also seriously just grossed out
I personally see a lot more people condemning people for wearing less than I have ever heard people say that people are obligated to wear less.
As a woman I am often embarrassed and scandalized by the lack of modesty of some women.
Same! Some of these immodest trends are ridiculous!
Me too 😅
I feel that way Abt men also. Except at the beach or swimming pool, I hate seeing men bare chested . I talk to my TV all the time to the men to cover up!!!
I can help u knowing islam
Same sister....same!!!
It makes me so sick when men try to promote immodest dress as if they were being altruistic. It's wonderful that you're taking a stand!
Who listens to these men? The main people I see pushing it are self described feminists. Who aren't even particularly committed to any sort of equality.
True, we all know why they promote it.
It makes me so sick when you don't wear a burqa to be modest
@@jonjonson7248it makes me disgusted when you degrade dignified Western Christian women who want to be classy and decent and taken seriously, and demonize our values and standards by illogically and foolishly comparing our values to that of extremist Muslims, whose evil false religion also promotes all manner of brutality toward women..in a vain and idiotically errant effort to discredit or somehow refute us.
I appreciate your pushback on what have become some of the toxic norms of our culture.
Sooooooo confusing out here bro😂
"Toxic norms" that's the expression I have been looking for...thank you
This guy is new to the game. He was part of that toxic feminist shaming brigade for decades.
Modesty in clothing is a visual representation of one's ability to set boundaries.
Gay
No disrespect to women who conquer the "well dont look" go-to answer...
But as women (I happen to be one) we have to be educated, conscientious, and and MINDFUL of the world we live in. We have a BIG responsiblity - not only for ourselves, but in larger society to dress in a way that shows not only who you are, but also how you would LIKE to be treated.
Yes. I know. We know. We ALL know. That a mini skirt where your buttcheeks are hanging out should never be an invitation for anyone to catcall or lay their hands you - but again ... be educated, be self - aware, and take accountability (Yes. Accountability) on your choices, Whether its behavior or the way your dress. We women (as well as men) have a big responsibility when it comes to this. Respect yourself, otherwise you increase the chances of being disrespected.
@Severian how about a verbal invitation? Outfits aren't invitations to sex.
I'm married. I've been fully naked in the house before, like after a shower or in between an outfit change. My hubby doesn't get to sexually assault me just cuz I'm naked. If being naked isn't an invitation then neither is a mini skirt. Don't be absurd.
I've used that line on women before and the response is usually that women shouldn't have to censor their bodies because some men can't help themselves, that they are not responsible for the moral failings of men. And they would often back up this opinion with the observation that men are never expected to change the way they dress, so why should women. I have yet to find a good response that doesn't come across a favoritism.
@@alaunaenpunto3690 maybe because there is a hint of truth in it. Men are more likely to assault women, regardless of what they look like. Women are by very nature more vulnerable, and lusted after by men. Due to men being very testosterone and therefore sexualy driven.
Pair that with a crappy personality, unstable upbringing and lack of morals/values/integrity and cultural influence. And you have an issue.
Women are more targeted. This is not fair. That is the world we live in. And a woman must understand that she lives in a world that is not about fairness. And to protect herself, it would be in her best interest to cover her sexually desirable attributes.
That sounds oppressive. But it is actually suppression, for someone else's sake but also for their own.
Im a woman. I understand this. But I also do not have the mindset that I live in a patriarchal tyranical society
So I don't feel the urge to constantly "liberate" myself from said opression.
Just understand that most non religious women will operate from that point of view. They want ultimate freedom without the consequences. Suppression has turned into oppression.
It's not. It's unwillingness to see yourself as part of a whole. Individualism at its "finest"
It's not a big responsibility. Modesty is what comes naturally. Women are going out of their way to sexualize themselves. Do guys wear skin-tight clothing, short-shorts, navel shirts, etc? No.
@@Dennis-nc3vw they do. I see shirtless men everywhere I go and need to avert or lower my gaze just as much.
Both men and women dres inappropriately. It's just that female bodies have more attributes to look at from a male perspective.
But believe me. Women also look at men and their asses, chest, tight jeans, shirtless bodies etc. It's no different.
Modesty has left our culture. And it's a sad thing.
Dressing modestly is not necessarily "unattractive". I get more compliments when I wear a full dress than when I wear a crop top with shorts. You can have so much feminine energy without showing cleavage!
on the contrary it can be far more attractive and stylish
Is that what you wear to the beach ?
@@tonymercer7759 I don't go to the beach cause I live in the mountains. I go skinny dipping like a real country gal in the creeks. Duh.
Great Keep it up Kite@@kitecorbin3914
@@Strange9952it is more attractive because it literally frames your face and hair and draws attention to your countenance, while exposing your flesh distracts and away from your unique natural beauty to just another body just like everyone else. That's my female perspective lol
Even in Catholic circles, people get the whole modesty issue wrong by effectively saying it’s a matter of upholding your own personal dignity and remembering you are a temple of the Holy Spirit. This is not wrong, but as a culture, we have totally forgotten about dressing modestly as an actual DUTY we have toward others. Not just dressing modestly, but appropriately and put-together.
Actually, one of the BEST ways for females to avoid arousing men is to just plain be SLOPPY.
Very true
"Put-together" is far more apt to inspire lust than just not bothering to look nice.
This is a really challenging position to hold, but I like the words you choose. I don’t believe we are responsible for causing someone to lust. We can never be held responsible for someone else’s choices. Yet I do think we owe it to our communities and relationships to do our best to dress in an appropriate way for the situation, in an attempt to not make anyone feel uncomfortable with us… paired with the belief in personal dignity. Would you agree or disagree?
@@denisenoe1534 to ask women to not put any effort into their appearance because if they look “put together” they’re more likely to cause lust is offensive. It’s terrible to think someone would feel guilty for looking nice.
Regardless of the clothing, women still get unwanted attention/harassment
IKR. Not too long ago, i wore a knee-length flared skirt and yoga pants with an oversized hoodie. Didn't stop the statement about the jiggle physics of my butt. And that's where my problem is. Some people, no matter how you dress, are going to be disgusting. Should that mean you should have the bottom of your bottom out, or wear a top showing more skin than your bra? Of course not! Dress modesty, sure. But that won't stop all the unwanted attention.
@magicalronin in an increasingly sexualized society, men like that have been emboldened to comment like that on strangers' bodies, where before the fear of backlash would have kept their months shut. We've accommodated objectionable behavior in the name.of tolerance with the expected result. Interestingly enough, in Mexico, which is a pretty socially conservative country, you'll often see women dress in revealing clothing and not get hassled the way they would here--because men know they're risking a swift response from their male kin if they behave disrespectfully.
Yes, in this wicked culture.. but in my experience, immodest clothing makes it much much worse. Heard that fron other women too, plus it's obvious
Regardless of closing doors at night, a thief would still break in. So people who want to have their doors closed at night are "backwards, controlling or insecure".
I'm a young Muslim Man and this video intrigued me because modesty is a huge thing taught in Islam. From dressing to appropriately cover what's called the "awrah" (which is slightly different for men and women - ie. men have to wear pants that at least covers their knees and shirts covering the majority of their torso) to the Quran telling both men and women to lower their gazes from each other. Naturally, I strictly follow these teachings, dressing quite conservatively and even averting my gaze when browsing the internet (frankly I find it more of an annoyance to having to avoid specific media, most I didn't ask for).
Similarly to what Brian said - to show your body should be reserved for intimacy with someone. Despite teaching modesty, Islam also says to dress nicely/attractively towards your spouse. .
I'm super confident in its teachings, though one thing I've always wondered was how would I explain the importance of modesty to someone who isn't God-fearing and doesn't believe in the spiritual consequences?
I'm glad and pleasantly surprised by Brian's points here as he falls back to the commonly used point of "Freedom" and also points out and emphasizes on the hypocrisy of the mentality - something I've only seen few people succeed in getting across.
I certainly appreciate this video.
May God bless and have mercy upon you.
Aslamualaikum wa rahmatullah! Im a Muslim too but i do agree with the video and your comments
i think to have a conversation with someone that doesn't believe in objective morality, you'd need to question them on the basis of their morality and why it is that they feel they should dress how they like. And wether doing what you want is beneficial for the general population. Theres a reason pride is a sin of course. I dont think the idea that "you can do whatever you want so long as it doesn't hurt anyone" is a valid basis for morality because harm is subjective, and more us God fearing people we could easily argue that dressing immodesty, certainly for self obsessive reasons is harmful for society
Jesus loves you💜ruclips.net/video/AYxKRoONrfY/видео.html💜
@@deechonada Wa alaikum Asalaam
It's not a bad idea to question the foundation of their morality - you'd just need to have a really good skill in staying in control of the conversation. Something I've observed is if you try to go into those types of questions with those types of people - most will do anything to everything to steer the conversation in some other direction.
Though sometimes you don't really need to ask them inadeptly. Like - I'm very convinced that most people who where clothing and yet are naked do it for the praise of other people even though they themselves will tell you they're "doing it for themselves". It's even more obvious if they have a social media account and regularly post pics/vids of themselves.
@@deechonada
Do you recognize that you don't live in a theocracy, though?
YES! We need more of this! As a 24 year old man, this is a very hard world to live in. As a young man that believes in Christ I feel very at odds with myself. My natural man wants to look, but I know that looking will take me to paths I would like to avoid to protect my spirit. I know that my sisters were all taught to be modest at church, BUT recently I've noticed my thirteen year old sister posting pictures of herself in a bikini on social media. I stay away from social media and I have even put limitations and software on my devices to protect me from pornography. Nonetheless, this is quite painful for me because it is extremely hard to see my sister that I love so much putting herself out there this way. I know where the male mind goes and I would not wish this upon my sister, but now she is inviting it. By the way, I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (many call us Mormons, but we are trying to change that). I love listening to other Christians (like you wonderful Catholics) too though because so many of you have this stuff right and it makes me so happy to see that there is still good in the world.
The comment "like you wonderful Catholics" cracked me up. Thank you, on behalf of all Catholics.😁
I know what you mean. And never blame yourself. The unconscious cultural forces are strong, its not you. But never let resentment take the place either. Thanks for doing what you can to stay away from porn my friend. Stay close to the lord and spend time with your best friend, the more you do you will see that in all this darkness there is still joy. And the light will prevail, he has overcome the world although we are currently wandering in the desert and walking in the cities of Babylon :) I can see you have a lot of love inside you.
Thank you for this comment. I teared up when you stated "it makes me so happy to see that there is still good in the world". This made my day.
God bless man. As a 20 yr old Catholic, I can absolutely relate to your main sentiment here. Being an only child I can't even imagine how uncomfortable that would make me to see that. Pray for her safety and faith. 🙏🙏 Thank you for sharing.
Pray hard for your sister. God hears every suffering heart.
This is not right just for catholics but for us all. As a "protestant" i agree with every single word. This is not just a matter of "religion" but of logic and a healthy mind.
The worst thing about it is that young people are encouraged to act and dress provocatively but are not encouraged to take the responsibility of their actions.
I am not responsible for how someone else feels about my clothes or my body.
@@Grokford True up to a point. When people choose what they wear, what is the intention of their choices? What is the purpose of wearing clothing that reveals rather than covers "private" parts of the body?
@@songs8619
I don’t find intention to be relevant from a social point. Other people’s reactions are their business.
And I don’t think that if people are showing something that it can be considered private.
Not everyone shares your opinions on bodies.
@@songs8619
Agreed.. In arabic there's a wisdom that goes "For every illness there's a cure, except for idiocy"
Wow! That’s an honest and brave statement for a man (gentleman) to say. I’m so glad someone dare to comment about this abuse of showing off too much. Even me as a woman feel uncomfortable and sad when I see how desperate and sexualized young women are nowadays. Hopefully we come back to our senses regarding modesty and morality in general soon. 🙏
Unfortunately our culture and especially social media is hyper sexualized and porn sick and therefore teaching new "norms" that objectify young women more than ever. But many young women are just not presented wilth appropriate behavior and many men don't respect physical boundaries. Their confusion is a fruit of a deChristenized culture.
Abuse? 🤔😳
I don't think you know what that word means. 🙄
Clothes don't sexualize people. People do
@@politereminder6284 So why don't women are strip clubs dance in burqas?
@@politereminder6284 stupid
I usually take "dress modestly" as "dress appropriately for the occasion". I won't wear beach clothes to church or vice-versa. I've learned (as a woman) that no amount of modest clothing can control an ill mind. I've been focusing lately to just pray for those men who are struggling that they will find Jesus and that the Holy spirit may give them the willpower to conquer themselves.
I really love your perspective and completely agree. I used to feel so worried about whether my outfit would cause someone to lust, but now believe I’m simply not responsible for other peoples thoughts. It’s a stressful world you live in where you feel responsible for something you can’t control! Modesty to me simply means dressing in an appropriate way for the situation, which varies depending on who I’m with and where I am. I want my friends to feel comfortable around me.
That is true, but also, some people (men and women) wear clothing outside that covers less than my actual bras and panties. I don’t want to see the size or shape of any mans genitals and many men don’t want to see the exact shape and size of a woman’s breasts, butts and genitals.
@@deborahlee3484
Yes, and if I'm not mistaken, modesty is also about intent. For instance, my understanding is a that neither a believing man nor a believing woman, is supposed to dress in such a way wear the intention is clearly those show off their wealth
@@tinkthestrange
I see what you're saying, though I will say, with regards to men not wanting to see women's chests is that The Bible doesn't show that women's chests are more private than men. In Genesis, we see God cover both Adam and Eve equally
Modesty is a posture of the heart. We usually know if we're dressing for attention. Also, some styles can just become a habit/expected look. The Lord has convicted me about this in particular over the last year or so. I used to wear shorts that were too short (I believe.) I now only feel comfortable wearing bermuda length shorts (9 inch inseam).
But anyway.. "posture of the heart" has really stuck with me. That goes for men and women.
I love dressing like a fifties housewife. I feel feminine and comfortable. My husband thinks I look great,that's what matters.
@kathyyore309 Me too. I adore those full skirted 50's dresses and a lovely apron over the front indoors. Had to learn to sew to get them the way I want them though. (as in colours and collar styles not as in tight or revealing)
I grew up very modestly. I wandered away from that because of a lost relationship and being told that it was because I was "too plain." I thought I had to dress provocatively to find a partner. I have since returned to my modest background, and I dress modestly... I feel so much more natural and myself now. I am not self-conscious about my clothing anymore. Modesty is beautiful
“Modesty” isn’t really a concept . You’re dressing how you’re comfortable, that’s great but that’s personal to you.
No one should have made you feel like you had to dress a certain way and I certainly do plan on doing that to other people either.
Men: dress modestly AND lower your gaze.
Women: dress modestly AND lower your gaze.
Problem solved.
Yes, men too! (Although, admittedly, this is more a problem with women these days.)
If you really don't want lust, the solution isn't modesty but sloppiness. If you look like a bag lady, guys won't be turned on.
I usually dress in mechanic overhauls. I have a few sets leftover from my working days . A ball cap and a hooded zipper seat shirt and work boots . I can not see how much more modest this old guy can dress. During the summer I have blue jeans short that cover my knees. Always a T shirt lots of veteran ones at Mass my Knights of Columbus shirt either blue dress pants in the winter or kaki in the summer.
Except I would prefer it if women would stop gazing at my junk. Just because I'm hung like a horse does not mean that I like being stared at there. And believe me, I have tried to find clothing that disguises or hides the bulge and it's far easier said than done.
The main reason why we think of this being more of a men staring at women issue is simply that the amount of deviation from a woman's face to her chest is smaller than from a man's face to his groin. And only slightly further when talking head to butt.
@@SmallSpoonBrigade Chris, are you making a joke here? I know this is a topic ripe for joking. But women don't usually stare at a man's crotch be he large or small.
"If you don't like it, don't look" is akin to "If you don't like drunks, stay out of the bars." It ignores that drunks don't stay IN bars. When I was 17, I did not drink alcohol at all, but another 17-year-old who was ragingly drunk slammed his dad's truck into the car I was driving. Others' sins do not stay at their end of the pool, so-to-speak: They leak out all over society and affect those who take no part in them. It isn't up to others to fail to notice your sins: It's up to you not to commit them.
Like the woman at the beach in the thing bikini that sat down in the sand in front of me and my make friend, we're both Christians... Very uncomfortable.
Wise words, and very true. It is infantile to insist on doing your own thing whatever it might be on the grounds that it doesn't affect/harm anyone else, especially if they don't "look". Everything you do affects others.
@@kilodeltawhisky1504 side note, if you dont like the view, you probably just gay. Who doesnt like looking at a womans body?
@@kilodeltawhisky1504 You think you're uncomfortable? 😞😞How do you think I feel when Brits/other people from the West come over to my state in India in bikinis when everyone else wears clothing head to toe? A lot of western women are so degenerate they don't even respect our sensibilities. It feels insulting to have to bear that even in my land. You guys need to gather up courage and start shaming people and supporting media and laws that oppose degeneracy including immodest fashion. You need to create cultural change. Otherwise its never going to stop.
THANK YOU! I'm a woman, born one, will die one. I'm not a prude but c'mon!!! I live in NYC and it's so out of control that I can't help but to comment out loud. I've seen women wear sheer body suits with no underwear on, teen girls with their parents in booty shorts, cheeks hanging out, low cut tops, cut out dresses, dresses so short, it's like what's the point? Last summer I said our loud, just walk around NAKED, it's easier. I'm not jealous, im attractive and in shape. I am just tired of being assaulted visually. I don't want to see you naked, period! I shouldnt have to constantly look away because you feel you can do whatever you want without regard to anyone yet EVERYONE is expected to respect you and treat you like you are dressed like a street walker. I'm a woman so I know EXACTLY why they dress like this. It's all for male, sexual attention. PERIOD. FULL STOP. The whole I wear it for me, is BS. I wish women would be honest and I wish dress codes were enforced.
I was in NYC the other day for the first time in about a year and I was shocked. It was all as you describe. I'm getting tired of being around other women. It really is all about desperate need for male sexual attention. I'm not jealous either. I just literally want to walk down the street without seeing other people's anatomy. I'm not sure which is worse-- the nudity or the looks on their faces as they scan around to see who's looking at them. I just want to live my life and be with people who have interests other than lust from dirty old men 😫
Preach! The rationalizations women invent, such as "it's comfortable!" or "I feel confident and empowered" are so transparently BS.
It doesnt matter what u want other people to dress like. They can dress however they want.
@@szs2785dress how they want in sleazy nightclubs as then they will find people who want to see all that. I don’t it makes me uncomfortable and it is cringy
One issue that rarely get brought up is that very vulgar behavior is often conducted in front of children. Children and young teenagers are coping with confusing new feelings and it is arguably a form of emotional abuse.
Or dressing children inappropriately and sexually because it is the norm even though they cannot consent they get brainwashed and normalized into dressing worse than a prostitute does
This! And this goes far beyond dress. People are too comfortable with presenting all kinds of immodesty and vulgarity in front of children & young people. It makes me sick. Sick and sad.
Sexual abuse..covert sexual abuse
@@dan-ch8krI've literally seen Hollywood moms twerking ON their tween girls🤮 unfathomable perversion and abuse
As a 60 yr old grandma I would just like to add that it's not just young attractive women who dress this way. Young attractive men do the same thing.....after all, they absolutely MUST show off those rock-hard abs & tattoos that they spent so much money on. Please remember, I grew up in the 60's & 70's where "free love", "sex, drugs, & rock-n-roll", reigned supreme. I, too, as a young person dressed a certain way in the hopes of attracting a husband. I learned the hard way that, although I got a lot of attention, it was the wrong kind & I didn't get married till I was 35. I truly wish I had grown up in a world where the morals were strickter. My poor Christian mother & grandparents! How they prayed for me. I'm just thankful Jesus honored their prayers & brought me back into the fold.
Chill
You did an EXCELLENT job of articulating an argument that should be heard. As a man who has had to work in offices filled with women who dress in outfits that look more like beachwear than office attire, I can be accused of sexual harassment for getting caught accidentally or involuntarily (because there are few safe places to look and the natural temptation to look is virtually impossible to resist consistently all day long) looking at a woman at work because I supposedly made her feel uncomfortable even though she is dressing to be noticed (but totally on her ideal terms such as only so much or only by the right people). No one cares that she, along with MANY of her coworkers, are making me feel emotionally and spiritually uncomfortable all day long and making me feel at risk of losing my livelihood AND losing the chance of getting a reference that will allow me to find replacement employment if I lose my job over an allegation. On top of all of this, the suffering does not end when the workday ends. For men, the remembrance of sexually explicit sights seen even just once sticks with us when we are off duty and when we are back on duty with the same women. Ladies, if you sexually torment ("torment" is NOT too strong a word) a man at work, he will likely be in torment over it for a long time to come and even in his off-duty hours too. If you don't believe me, remember how you may have heard that men file arousing images in their long-term "spank bank". There is nothing Christian or morally neutral about exploiting men's biggest weakness and putting them at risk of self-destructing in numerous ways for some self-indulgent ego gratification.
You should do some introspection about why you feel the reactions you do when you experience someone who "triggers" you that way. When you have the kind of love and respect Jesus did for others, those "triggers" will be brought under the control of a disciplined mind.
I can agree that people who dress revealing will set themselves up to be viewed a certain way, but that is as far as their responsibility lies. You as an individual have the responsibility to keep your desires in check as well. If you expect women to dress modestly, it isn’t far-fetched to expect you as a man to not fall into temptation either.
I wish I could give you 100👍🏻 and I am a woman!
I heard a Nigerian priest homily call out immodest people coming into mass. You could've heard a pin drop. I felt like cheering!
😂
Every African priest I’ve ever come across is wonderfully devout. During the pandemic, when we were all being denied the sacraments, a Nigerian priest at my local parish gave me his cel number, telling me to call or text him any time I needed confession or general spiritual help despite the church being closed for worship. He’s moved parishes, but I’ve stayed in touch with him, and I consider him my spiritual advisor. God bless all African priests.
@@b.felicisimo5937 that is quite an overstatement. Do you know how big Africa is? Also, many African "pastors" are superficial and do not care for spiritual learning.
@@jenss.3613 I’m not talking about African “pastors”. Im well aware of the Nigerian prosperity gospel preachers who have enriched themselves to the point of absurdity.
I’m talking specifically about Catholic priests from Africa who I’ve encountered personally- namely from Nigeria and Cameroon.
I remember I was once in a really fantastic villa with friends. There was a hot tub outside, but it was too cold outside and we feared we'd catch a cold if we tried to bathe outside. I was talking with a dear female friend, and she said that even if it was summer she wouldn't bathe in there. I asked why. She said, "Because I respect myself." Honestly, it made me respect her all the more.
For some reason, I find modest women more attractive. When someone's appearance demands respect, I respect her more; When someone doesn't just give away intimacy, it makes her intimacy all the more valuable.
So, no, a girl in provocative clothing isn't a prostitute and shouldn't be treated like one. We should respect her. But, you're made in God's image! Have some respect for yourself! You really do deserve it!
Lastly, while there's a conception that men shouldn't tell women how to behave, and that's obviously true to some extent, women can't just ignore men's opinions. We're in the same boat, we live in the same society, and ultimately, the problems of women become the problems of men - And vice versa, we should listen to women!
Well put. Love your perspective. I, too, find modestly dressed people ( men and women) more attractive. It shows that they have more respect fo themselves and others around them.
This is a big problem for me. Dressing modestly was instilled in me at a young age in a very gentle manner by the wonderful nuns at my school. "Modesty and decorum, dear" 😍 they were so great. Anyway, I struggle enormously in the summer with women dressing immodestly. I feel very uncomfortable seeing acres of flesh, I really really don't want to see your knickers if you walk up the stairs in front of me. That's not OK! Please put clothes on! Barely covered breasts and pants. And like Brian said, you avert your eyes only to turn to someone else also dressed in next to nothing. Then I struggle with being judgemental, because frankly many of these people with too few clothes on don't look good and would benefit from covering up all their lumps, bumps and wobbly bits. I don't want to see it! Clothes were invented for a reason! I feel sorry for men who are confronted with this and might feel attraction. I feel revulsion and anger and can't wait for cooler weather.
Oh and the new trend of beige/skin colour tight clothing, so at first (accidental but impossible to avoid) glance, they look like they haven't got anything on at all! 😲
My daughter is 14. I pray we don't have battles of this sort.
No I honestly will pray for your young daughter because you probably are lustfully looking at teenagers, stop blaming women and focus on your demonic self because you will always be tempted by the flesh.
@@jasminerose2737 the person whose comment you replied to is a woman.
@@jasminerose2737 wtf is wrong with you
@@MissingTrails, it becomes painfully obvious the more I read through these comments that reading comprehension has sadly gone the way of the dodo.
I know, i feel such intense second hand embarrassment for women wearing flesh-colored clothing!! At first glance (or 2nd, 3rd, 4th..) they do initially look naked, and it's shocking and like scary lol. And seriously, along with mosg of the other sexualized dress of our time, just looks really bad. Not sexy, not atrractive, not flatteting. Just gross
Modesty is a virtue. Our society lacks virtue.
As a Catholic woman who recently traveled to Turkey (a very Muslim country) I was shocked at how comfortable I felt there since modesty was the absolute norm. It was amazing to be around so much modesty! Huge respect to the Muslims for adhering to feminine modesty.
youd be surprised to know that Turkey is the least muslim country among muslims, for us they resemble europeans in their lifestyle 😂
Yes! I didn’t go to Turkey yet, but I started to dress modestly and I feel very good I love Muslim people as well Catholic
@@mariauriz2868 I had conversation with a Serbian woman. She considered herself as Orthodox Christian but she dressed up in revealing clothes and when i asked about it she was trying to justify it.
Not a very muslim country
@@hibahadjadj508exactly! I'm from Kurdistan, and Turkey is one of the most unislamic countries I can think of.
I’ve always dressed modestly, women who don’t lack self-respect and dignity, and place all their worth in their sexual appeal, in my opinion. It so often happens that women wear super-sexy clothes to work, then complain that they are not taken seriously by their male colleagues! Even in modest clothing, my figure always got so much unwanted male attention as it was, especially in my youth. If women don’t want to be just sex objects, they shouldn’t dress like sex objects. My modest dress is mostly for my own self-respect and dignity, but also I don’t want to offend anyone, perhaps those from other cultures. I’m proud of never having shown cleavage in my life, why should I?
'If your eye leads you to sin, pull it out.' I understand this as meaning, If you have a problem with lust, greed, envy, then you should attack the problem at its source...I.e. in yourself.
This was also said by Jesus during a different cultural moment where the modesty standard was just a *bit* different. But ik, He is pointing to a heart issue nonetheless
Nobody would argue otherwise, but that is no excuse to be immodest.
@@jamesshives5679 Actually, Islam argues otherwise. The women of Afghanistan can't even keep their eyes uncovered and must look through fabric grill/mesh. Why? Because women are responsible for men's lust. I am all for modesty and have always been a modest dresser. At the age of 64, I can honestly say that I have never worn make-up or high heels. But campaigning for modest dress on the grounds of a man's right not to be offended sounds dangerously like first step down a slippery slope. Because standards of modesty and sensitivity to offense will always be subjective, averting one's eyes (women do it too...I am ashamed to say that I am repulsed by obese men and my lack of compassion at the sight of them is my sin) and perhaps simultaneously offering a prayer is a good way of dealing with this issue in a free society.. In my opinion.
God made men to be lustful at the sight of a near-naked woman. That's not a "problem." The problem arises when immodesty arouses the expected lust. Solution: Don't be immodest.
@@billderring9349 Lust is a sin. So you are saying God made men to sin so it is no their fault? Women's form of dress is the problem? So women are responsible for men's sin? This goes against Jesus's own teaching. Just read some of the Desert Fathers for exemples of how valiantly men have battled against lust... and they did it by rooting out the sin from their own hearts not by putting sacks on women. I have always been a modest dresser and am all for modest dressing. However, men need to address the root of lust in themselves and stop shifting the blame.
Some men now also go about most immodestly dressed too. It is not just the women.
The idea that stuck with me the most is that of Treasure -- The more we value something, the more safe and hidden we keep it. We don't leave them out where anybody can see them and be tempted to take them.
Exactly!
Extraordinarily well-said. This has been a concern of mine for a long time - it was quite a few years ago that I wrote a letter to the editor on the subject of "cheer shorts": tight, short shorts worn by young women and girls, usually with large, block lettering on them, such that they actively draw the eye toward places the eye ought not be drawn if, as you say, one is not in an intimate relationship with the wearer, and in a relatively private environment at that. That particular fashion does not seem to be as much in vogue as it was, but that certainly doesn't mean clothing has gotten more modest!
And it is not necessary to go the other extreme, either; modest clothing does not mean burkhas, or even necessarily the clothing worn by our Amish or Mennonite friends. It just means choosing not to wear clothing that flaunts and advertises one's sexuality, that provocatively draws attention to oneself as a sexual being, and then complaining if someone notices. Thank you for having the courage to address this situation.
What clothing exactly advertises someone as a sexual being?🤔
@@politereminder6284 The king that sex workers wear. The fact that women wear the same things at the beach that they do at strip clubs should tell you something.
@@politereminder6284 When they wear very revealing clothes or dress sexy. When they put their body on display.
U sound like ur in the closet lol
I work on a college campus and live near by. I cannot say how extremely difficult it is at times with these college girls who seem to enjoy under dressing. Since I've been drawn back to my Christian faith, I've become more disciplined in my own behavior, which had been influenced by years of consuming pornography. I'm married now and knowing that God observes all of my actions holds me accountable everytime I feel uncomfortable because I feel impulsed to look at a women that's not my wife. It's an ongoing battle, but thank God I have a lot more self control.
Noticing and appreciating a woman who is not your wife is fine. It's what you do with those thoughts afterwards, when the woman in question is long gone.
BTW, it is possible to notice, appreciate, and then put it out of your mind. You don't need to be distressed just because you behave noticed. Noticing does not equal lusting. Noticing does not automatically lead to lusting. Lustingnis a choice you make inside you. It has nothing to do with the woman you have noticed.
@@politereminder6284"appreciating" her body is not right for a married man and could open the door to temptation..men should try to focus on their own wives
Meanwhile Roe v Wade is overturned. A great victory for America.
Yes, we need to begin a culture of Life...this is a really great start. By having good messaging.
I am apocalyptic by nature. However, I believe we are about to enter a new age of peace, prosperity, and prayer... l mean in a mind-blowing way.
❤❤❤
@@cnam1258 I think you're going to be horribly disappointed.
Praise the Lord, it is great!
Amaziiiiiing video! As a 17 year old young woman, me must stay modest and classy to be respected. Because if we respect our men and their minds, we will also be respected as well. Women need to step up!
I have a real problem with guarding my eyes. This comes from my addiction to pornography for so many years. I no longer look at porn online, but it’s hard when I see a very shapely woman in tight/revealing clothes not to try to get a second glimpse. I’ve had to discipline myself not to go for the second look. When I see a woman that’s very curvaceous and/or exposed cleavage, I quickly look away and immediately petition the Lord for strength. I fight the urge to get a second look and I thank God that she is wonderfully made. Please, women, for the love of God, be modest. When you are standing in front of your dressing mirror before you leave the house, think about what “look” you are trying to project. I’m not saying that you are responsible for how every man perceives you, but have some respect for yourself and for God.
It can be hard for us as women to "look" as you put it and notice if somethings immodest. Im not talking about when somethings obviously imodest. Ive had experiences where everythings covered on me and my girlfriends said the outfit was fine. But then a guy friend said that it drew attention in a sexual way. We dont look at our bodies through the lense of sexual attraction like men do. So sometimes we miss things.
Be patient with us modesty is complicated sometimes from our perspective.
I can relate man. I will call into question as to what is immodest or too revealing, but I can relate.
Isn't actual pornography exploitative of women though, in a way in which revealing clothing is not?
@@GCarty80 - you obviously did not read my comment. I'm not equating the two. I'm saying that if your perception of women is already corrupted by pornography, seeing women in revealing clothing can be a trigger for some men.
You think if all women wore "modest" clothing it would make things easier, but it wouldn't. It would only make you less desensitized to the female body, and you would be more easily turned on by less skin. It wouldn't prevent lust. I lived in a country where women covered everything but their eyes and hands in public, and the men there have no easier time avoiding lust. In fact, my dad says they seemed to have even more of an issue with it, because even seeing a woman's face or hair would turn them on.
You have touched on two themes that may go unnoticed when evaluating the modesty issue in light of the sexual revolution. Charity towards others in light of the weakness associated with concupiscence and, perhaps the more important observation, that it is vanity, rather than sexual passion, that is driving the immodesty demon in many if not most circumstances.
Vanity but also desire for seduction and power in women. The joke is on them in the end (per the devil they are following into sin), because they are actually giving their power away to men by behaving like this. Free shows for men who want to exploit them
this issue has always been a hard one for me to accept but I know, even before watching this video, that Brian is going to change my mind for the better 😂
Edit: arrrrggh Brian, you’ve done it again!!! I begrudgingly thank you 😂 God bless! I have been schooled hahaha
Congrats on being an open-minded person. It's refreshing to see.
@@joanl.7543 haha thank you! It was something I knew I should accept but could never quite come to terms with - and then I saw Brian was about to upload this video and .. well here we are 😂😂❤️ but props to Brian, he’s always got a really humble and objective way of approaching things - I always felt like I was being “preached” to, but now I feel empowered :)
@@juliakolbe511 sometimes we just need the right outlet for the message
Especially for issues like this
I did the turn around too a few years ago I thought it was difficult as well. But you will feel so much more feminine and beautiful than you ever have before. God bless on your journey.
@@nataliabenoit4653 right back at you, sister!
Modest dress is a somewhat fluid concept. I don't think most women are intending to attract such attention. They just don't appreciate the irony of wanting to look attractive but then being upset when their appearance actually attracts attention. Everyone is responsible for their own gaze. I totally accept that women aren't asking for attention from strangers. However, as a man, it does often feel like being a little kid with my sibling putting her finger in my face saying, "I'm not touching you!"
I did not ever think I would feel as strongly agreeable with this content. Thank you very much brother. You are in my prayers.
This conversation reminds me of a conversation about temptation with a young lady I worked with. She had a habit of leaving money on the desk at her work station while she was away on errands. While I felt no compulsion to take the money, I could feel the pull and sympathized with the weaker people who couldn’t resist it. I asked her to at least cover the money so it was out of sight. She couldn’t understand that some people are just weak and can resist anything but temptation. She finally agreed to not leave her money lying out in plain sight and unattended.
Thank you ! And for all you women , please, leggings aren’t pants. Cover that up please.
Amen!
Makes me appreciate going to private school for what it’s worth. If you show up with your shirt untucked or school uniform not up to par, you could find yourself being assigned a ten page written assignment as to why that’s a bad idea. Whether you think it’s bad or not😅
Ladies. I love leggings, but I wear them under mid length or long skirts. Private parts are called that because they are meant to be private!
Pants shouldnt be allowed for women anyway
True
Well articulated and I 100% agree. I am a woman and would be embarrassed to be seen in public like many women dress. Not all of them young .
I believe people would think more of themselves if they dressed better. Wearing proper and modest clothing is a good start to building up our crumbling society.
I think sometimes people assume women are forced to dress modestly wear skirts etc. Personally I say each to their own but when I see someone dressed with modesty if only for decency I respect them and feel a bit more comfortable around them
As a man I feel terribly guilty about the sense of sheer relief I feel when the weather gets warm enough for a significant number of women to start wearing dresses or skirts!
It is a test, too. You have to be able to look at body parts from people around without getting thoughts with sexual conotations. We have been given our mind to control our body, nobody said it is going to be easy..
If you wear something with the intention to draw attention to yourself, that's immodest. If you go out with no intention to draw attention and still find yourself being gawked at or harassed, that doesn't suddenly make you immodest. The Bible doesn't mention men when it tells women to be modest, so a man's response to how you look can't dictate whether or not you're sinning. God knows your heart and intentions.
Funny how nobody is protesting the Roe v Wade decision dressed like in the thumbnail🤷🏽♂️
Hello Alex! I understand the sentiment, and please do not take this as a sign of uncharity, but I disagree with you. Modesty is not merely about the wearer, but the reactions of others. In 1954, Pope Pius XII suggested that it is possible to be immodest without knowing it, saying, “How many young girls there are today who do not see any wrong-doing in following certain shameless fashion styles like so many sheep! They would certainly blush if they could guess the impression they make and the feelings they evoke in those who see them. What sins are committed or provoked by this public display of deliberate and calculated immodesty? How lax have consciences become, how pagan morals!”
There comes a point where you have to take responsibility for yourself and understand the way you are dressing is immodest , men not being allowed to look doesn’t somehow absolve women from the responsibility of being modest . If you go outside in a crop top and shorts for example you have no place to use the excuse “I have no intention to draw attention “ because at that point you know exactly what you are doing
So....if I wear a long , fully covered, ball gown that lights up and glows and has sequins andlights, then I'm being immodest 🤷♀️because I want to be noticed at the ball gown event?
Honestly it depends on what kinds of attention you’re talking about because I can dress like a nun to school and get bullied.
I’ve had to take my teen daughter shopping, as well as my 8 y/o. Start selling and producing modest clothes that are fun to wear and comfortable. I dare you. Make that change! Give those girls a choice.
My now-young adult daughter isn’t showy about her body. She’s awkward and embarrassed by it. She’d prefer to cover up. But we literally went to 5 shops one day and barely found 3 items she felt comfortable wearing. We live in the desert - it’s hot here - and she got looks for shorts - normal shorts - because she’s a young woman. Period. She will always get looks. She can’t escape that. She’s young and beautiful. She could wear a garbage bag and grown men will slobber all over her walking by. That’s how it is. Don’t blame the girl for the fact that men are making her uncomfortable. It’s not the clothes. It’s the oversexualized sales funnel culture targeting men with constant streams of young sexed female imagery. Get your eyes off my daughters. Or feel my fist in your big mouth!
Implying that being modest is somehow uncomfortable is ridiculous first off and second off you are lying to yourself if you think revealing clothes arnt inherently sexual
Short shorts and sexualized shirts and dresses ofcourse will cause attention as a parent you know when the clothes are inappropriate shame on you for saying you can't find good clothes . I've gone through the dessert on my way to california to visit family and their were many ladies and young ladies dressed appropriately and many who weren't it's a joke to say you can't find appropriate clothing . Come on and please 🙏 you need some lessons in shopping then apparently and yes I have 3 daughters one who's a teen and even I can shop appropriately.
Yes. 🙌 There’s something wrong about blaming our lustful thoughts on clothes. As women we can try to dress appropriately but it will never solve the larger problem of porn and lust. It will never prevent lust. We each make our own decisions about what goes on in our minds.
Welcome to the human race, Karen, we hope you enjoy your stay.
Shop at thrift stores.
"It's to insist that the whole world be arranged in exactly the way we want it to be. To be able to do what you want and have everyone respond to your choices in exactly the same way you want them to."
Of course, that's exactly what you're insisting on. You want the world to arrange itself exactly how you want. You made the choice that you don't want to see women that don't dress modestly. I guess that's fine. But here you're insisting that women dress how you want them to so that you can look anywhere you want. So you're insisting that everyone respond to your choices in exactly the same way you want them to. You are a hypocrite.
No one should take your nonsensical claim that women dressing how they want somehow impinges on YOUR freedom or your rights seriously. The idea that seeing things in public you don't want to see is an infringement on your rights is absurd. I don't want to see cathedrals and statues of crucified bodies. Does that mean Catholic churches should be taken down? Obviously not. There is a cost to living in society, and that cost is that not everyone will agree with you or conform to your morality. If you decide for yourself that you can't go anywhere that women aren't dressing in a way that you consider modest, that's up to you. But no one is under any obligation to conform to your arbitrary, antiquated, totally ridiculous morality standards.
Of course, we know what a society that prioritizes a man's freedom not to see women dressed immodestly over a woman's right to dress how she wants: look at Afghanistan. Or Iran.
Thank you for this comment. Sad to see so many people operating at this level of awareness in modern society. Education is so important. No wonder conservatives do everything they can to shoot down funding for schools in red states😢
Agree 100% with what you said: EVERYONE should dress more modest. I have been dressing modest for years now and I am sad to say that I still find men looking at me in a disgusting way. It's sickening, maybe I'll try a burka one day🤷♀️
You CAN avoid men looking at you with lust but the solution isn't modesty but just plain being sloppy. Wear clothes that are old, stained, ragged, and don't fit correctly. The guys won't get turned on by that.
At that point it is not your fault
How about just going sloppy? Stained, ragged clothing.
At that point its their problem not yours. May Our Lord bless you.
The burka will only intrigue them more.
Sexualization is not something your clothing does to you. It's something people do to people.
I lived in a community where many women wore Hijabs. Those women only attracted more intrigue and challenge and mystery to the men. They were sexualized even though they only showed the skins of their hands and faces- no hair, no feet, no ankles, nothing else. 🙄
You cannot shirk the primary moral issue and move it on to others. You are not responsible for the way others in society act, but you are for your reaction. "You need to dress in a way I won't be tempted by" avoids your own responsibility and pushes it onto others. If you cannot be trusted to act in a civil way when others are not following your standards is the moral lapse how they behave or how you choose to react? There is an old zen story of two monks crossing a stream. A beautiful young woman asks one to carry her across and he does. Miles and hours later the other monk, fuming at the improper behavior, takes the monk to task to holding the attractive young woman. The first monk replies, "I only carried her across the stream, you have carried her all this way."
As a woman, it's so hard to find cute clothes that are also modest... I want to wear dresses, but often times, I find one that's so cute, but is too short or shows so much cleavage... It's also frustrating to find clothes that you cant see through... I feel like they're making it this way on purpose, they want us to show skin...
I'm not making excuses to dress inappropriate, as there really isn't one... I do my best to dress as appropriate as possible... I'm just expressing my frustrations when it comes to finding cute clothes that are also modest.
I like that we sat down and had a proper discussion on this topic, it's something that definitely needs to be addressed.
Somebody once told me "dress as you would want other women to dress around your man."
Catholics really need to hear this. I attend a great Catholic college, but the vast majority of women dress immodestly. I don't believe they do it on purpose, but the culture has most definitely perverted our sense of dress. It is a grave sin, and we all need to begin realizing this and working to make a change. God bless
It's on purpose
Women know exactly what they are doing when they choose their clothes. No matter what they may say, they find their power in directing (or causing the need to deflect) the eyes of all that see them. It is very sad that they are not aware of their true worth.
When I was young, I was not aware of my worth as a child of God. I learned through the years. If makes me sad to see how women dress…especially in the presence of their own sons and daughters. Uncomfortable, to say the least…as a woman, I don’t know where to look🤪
If u have a negative reaction to seeing a womens body…ur probably gay and closeted lol
Sometimes I feel as if I’m the one who is doing something wrong by being modest. It feels like other women dress so exposed and since I don’t, it feels like I SHOULD want to so I feel like the odd one out. It’s not going to change my way of life but it’s an uncomfortable feeling living in a society that being basically nude is the normal
Modesty in clothing should be the natural tendency to follow and to encourage, especially in a very open and liberal society because such a concept could be understood and practiced way better now than in the old days. It's not a challenge anymore, nor should we continue to abuse it.
It literally is the natural human tendency, throughout all of human history. Hollywood and the fashion industry are pushing people into this against what they would feel more comfortable, dignified, peaceful, safe and emotionally protected in
On a similar note, and although it may seem like a stretch to say this, but I feel this also creates a competitive world among women. It's an energy I believe women can exclusively be intuitive of, but so many women are stuck in their heads to be the hottest one in the room, that they believe every woman is that way and strike with intense negative energy. As a conventionally attractive woman, I feel like I'm being put into a competition I didn't even sign up for. I dress modestly because I don't care whether I grab your boyfriend's attention, I don't care to make other women jealous --- I don't care to be noticed only for my looks. It's not at all a good depiction of what I have to offer. Is this just me? :( It sucks!!
Very true.
I think that men should start dressing modestly as well to set a good example. Modesty is not just about revealing what should not be revealed, but also has to do with proper decorum and respect. Sleeveless tshirts were invented for use as military underwear and somehow became the norm for men to wear only that. Men who wish for women to dress better should at the very least wear a collared shirt or sweater. And don't get me started on shorts. Men should wear pants if they expect women to do the same.
The heat cannot be an excuse, because modest cultures have had to deal with the same in every climate. The trick is doing some research to find out what materials to use in summer. Natural lightly weighted fabrics of a light colour or shade keep you cool from head to toe, whether man or woman. Just look at those who wear tunics in the dessert. In the south they used to wear summer sucker suits which were made out of an extremely light weaved fabric.
We also have to remember that comfort is not meant to be the main purpose of clothing. I like the way that the Marian Friars Minor put it. They say that clothing was given to Adam and Eve as a penance, not as a way to sin more. I do actually believe that dressing modestly can still be comfortable, but I am just saying that it is not the first priority. And if you can't feel comfortable in modest clothes consider it like a hair shirt and offer it up. That's my advice. Us Catholics have to step it up.
Starting at 6:21 , I like your illustration that puts the shoe on the other foot. It helped me to understand better what it's like for men.
Interesting perspective! I was thinking just that seeing the “free the nipple” movement - ma’am, I don’t wanna see your nipple. But never had I thought to apply it to other body parts, and it makes a lot of sense.
That being said, as someone who lives in a tropical country, and dressing in very little clothes is the norm, modesty is my biggest struggle😅 Can’t use that as an excuse tho, the blessed mother did live in the desert!
This is actually a great point. I appreciate the Christian perspective here, but how much of what modesty is thought to be is a Christian perspective and how much is it a European perspective?
When you live in hotter countries you wear less clothing and it's reasonable.
What is modest? Let's talk about it.
@@mosaiciron Eh, I’m of the opinion that modesty is contextual. But also that it simply comes from common sense. Today, one doesn’t need to cover their ankles to be modest. But it’s definitely best to avoid wearing crop tops or showing too much cleavage, for example.
@@isadsales it does seem to be common sense, but are you saying that modesty is... culturally relevant?
Would, for example, it be less immodest to have cleavage out as a woman in the European Renaissance when ankle showing may be more tempting to a man because a woman's breast is for a child, while her legs are for her man?
I'm asking: is there a universal common sense of what is obviously suggestive or does it evolve and depend on respecting cultural norms on decency?
Respectfully,
Look up Marylike modesty. There are many requirements laid out by Pope Pius XI about it
Yes exactly I had to do the same and not easy at first but once the change happens it becomes your new normal. Even years ago people dressed in layers of clothing in hot weather. They didn't even think to take those layers away. That being said you dont need to go to the extreme but look for good examples of traditional catholic women in modest clothing and you can then find it's not that hard
Brian, great thoughts once again! I was hoping to hear a little bit more about a point you brought up very briefly in the introduction and then ever came back to… most folks in society seem to be under the opinion that public individual expression with clothing should take priority over common consideration. So basically, if someone is offended by what a person wears, that person simply needs to look elsewhere, no matter how annoying or inconvenient that may be for them or their family, because freedom of expression is worth that “cost”.
You mentioned that at one point you more or less ascribed to this position, but then you saw how it bore out in society and changed your mind.
You’ve made some great points in your talk, but I think more could be said about this point itself. What has been the fruit of a society where individual expression in clothing is prioritized over common decency? Has this led to a better society? Has this led to a society in which we can best relate to each other with mutual respect and properly raise our families? Or has it, as many predicted, had the opposite effect?
Our current culture is, in my opinion, unsustainable in so many ways. Individual expression is important to an extent, but common decency ought to have the last say, if the two are at odds. Public self expression above common decency has not had the effect its proponents hoped for.
This is a ridiculous argument. The rest of the world cannot dress for how you, Brian Holdsworth, determine they should dress. Instead, we use societal norms that ebb and flow to come to general agreements on what is a standard for dress. Right now, that standard isn't what you want it to be, but it has been decided by the collective. Brian's argument is ridiculous because there is literally no possible way for everyone's personal dress code ideals to be met, without infringing on someone else's idea of what the norm should be. Brian's answer to this dilemma is one that is impossible to implement.
They dress in an extremely seductive/provocative manner and then say, "Well then don't look". That is so funny.
It’s just more comfortable to wear very little. Some people hate the feeling of fabric and being covered up. It has nothing to do with trying to make anyone else look. It’s also not to try and seduce random men you might walk past during going about your day. If you think it is that says more about you being a pervert creep than anything else.
As a mom of boys, I also try to instill modesty in them, too. No swimming or playing shirtless, teaching them a woman dressing in a way that reveals their bodies doesn’t make it okay to look/judge/degrade, etc. As Christians, we have a duty to ourselves and our siblings in Christ to teach modesty to males and females alike.
Imagine sexualizing your child so much that you won't let them swim without a shirt. Let kids be kids
@@jarjardaze2485 seriously though
@@Unclenate1000 it sickens me ngl. Purity culture is ruining lives of kids and teens
@@jarjardaze2485 it’s not about you sexualizing your own child.
It’s about protecting it from other ppl who might be. Do you know that pedos exists right? Why would I expose my child for no reason and give predators free entertainment? The same way I won’t post pictures of my child on the internet.
You don't need to teach men to be modest, we do it naturally. Even in 100 degree weather we wear shorts that go down to our knees. 98% of us are too embarassed to wear speedos while women go swimming showing half their ass. And when was the last time you saw a guy in a navel shirt and didn't assume he was a gay prostitute? Forcing kids to swim with their shirts on his going too far though.
I completely agree with this. A few weeks ago I saw a young woman pushing a buggy who kept pulling her very - very - short dress down to recover her buttocks, at least a third of which could be seen when the dress rode up.
I also find that I am particularly bothered when I have to avert my eyes from a very overweight young woman who is wearing revealing clothes. My current theory is that in this scenario I am being forced to witness both sexual impropriety and extreme gluttony. I think it causes scandal. Thoughts?
Heavy women often have trouble finding things that fit right. The same is true of flat-chested women: almost any bra is unlikely to correctly fit.
How about pray about her
@@denisenoe1534 us flat chested gals don’t need a bra ✋
Haha maybe ur just bisexual?😂
Wow this is a great video! I totally agree. I think social media has played a huge role in this shift in our society. Young girls and even women now days believe their value is in their looks and bodies. The more followers and attention they get the more money from sponsorships they can get. They crave attention.
As a woman I often see things I turn and avert my eyes from. I can’t tell you how many booty cheeks I see on a daily basis. Let’s not talk about the gym! There’s these new pants that are literally made to go up your butt crack to accentuate and make your butt look bigger. Like 80% of the chicks in the gym are wearing them while doing an exercise and recording it for their followers. I look all the time because it’s right in your face and I’m a straight chick. Imagine guys trying to get a workout in and not stare. I’m very curvy so I’m aware that I can’t wear everything even things that don’t seem revealing. If it’s too tight or too short I won’t wear it. We need to bring class and modesty back.
Such a good video. It's actually a very articulate description of many of the problems within New Zealand society. A natural extrapolation of that would be the desensitization of relationships through casual sex. The tendancy for the secular world to seek more and more depraved means of arousal, simply because they treat sexual encounters as a meaningless process of recreation-like methodical fulfillment/gratification. Thank You Brian. New Zealand Catholics are on par with the German Catholics, so it is especially important that I have a solid grounding like you provide. God bless you and your family 💞 🙏
In the words of Christopher Lee’s Count Duku, I too have ‘been looking forward to this.’
Thank you for teaching this important principle in a true, kind, and clear way. I just want to add a note about comfort, which from my experience is a common counter argument. That is, someone might say "yeah but... I don't dress a certain way to draw attention to myself, rather for my own comfort." Usually this is for warm climates. ...So just to clarify your point, feeling comfortable in your clothing should be balanced with a level of respect for those around us. Living in a community brings certain responsibilities or social agreements. Sometimes that means sacrificing a degree of comfort in pursuit of all the good alternatives you talked about.
Is it really that serious? I’ve seen some scantily clad men and women. In the moment it’s shocking. I might even look around to see who else is stunned. But then my mind moves on. I’m not sitting around thinking about them. I don’t pull the image back up later. So, what’s the big deal? If people’s minds are running away with them the focus should be on the cause. The cause isn’t the person showing skin. That’s like a rapist blaming the victim for having on a miniskirt. The miniskirt isn’t the cause. So, the argument shouldn’t be for modesty. It should be for mental stability and self control.
You're not male. Women aren't dressing this way because its comfortable and natural, they are dressing this way for sexual attention, and then pretending we are the bad guys for sexualizing them. If this were simply a comfortable way to dress, why aren't men doing it? Why is it 98% of males feel too embarassed to wear speedos? Why is it our shorts always touch our knees? Why is it that if we are in a formal setting we don't show an inch of flesh below the neck? Either men are repressed, or women are sexualizing themselves. Which is it?
@@Dennis-nc3vw "Women aren't dressing this way because its comfortable and natural, they are dressing this way for sexual attention"
I think you're doing a generalization there out of ignorance. Some might do it for attention, but not necesserally a sexual kind of one. It'd be about the aesthetic. Pursuing aesthetic or beauty does not imply pursuing sex. Some might not even do it for attention at all. And some might do it for sexual attention too. There is variety.
" and then pretending we are the bad guys for sexualizing them. "
I guess some self-control and/or openmindedness wouldn't hurt.
" If this were simply a comfortable way to dress, why aren't men doing it?"
Multiple reasons. Cultural and social, I'd say, mainly. In some cultures, a man wearing a dress will get fairly violent feedback because of assumptions regarding their sexuality. Even if it's technically just a piece of clothe, comfortable or not, it does not quite matter. Feminisation can also be associated with humiliation, since some societies can look down on women as the "weaker sex", and associate the clothing they were with the gender itself. It's internalised and ceases to be questioned eventually. To answer this question, I guess it really depends on how strict cultural norms are in the country you're at.
"Why is it 98% of males feel too embarassed to wear speedos? "
Where did you find that stat from? Genuinely curious. Otherwise, I'd guess it has to do with the size of their genital parts and how they're not used to having that shown in public when they're at a local swimming-pool.
"Why is it our shorts always touch our knees?"
Tis a cultural norm, probably, from the country you're at? You can also try wearing something shorter if you're feeling brave.
" Why is it that if we are in a formal setting we don't show an inch of flesh below the neck?"
Eh, I agree, I do wish that men had more options in formal settings. It's rather dull. Otherwise, in casual settings, I think both men and women should be free to explore what clothings they're prefer without being shamed for it. But I guess christianity has always been big on using shame against its followers. It's a fairly efficient tool for control, but I kind of dislike the emotional damage it does on people.
"Either men are repressed, or women are sexualizing themselves. Which is it?"
I guess a bit of both. You're feeling repressed, that's sure, from what I read, and some women do sexualise themselves. But there's also men overly sexualising women who don't aim to be sexualised. To be brief, the world is vast, and varied, and it would be close-minded to reduce the argument this way. I hope that one day this whole issue ceases to be about who's being victimised by the amount of clothe worn by women. So far I think it's about control.
We're pieces of flesh dressing up in clothe. Perhaps there are bigger issues than this. That's my perspective on the whole thing, at least.
@@hehehehexila1811 My dong is huge and I'd feel very uncomfortable in speedo, thank you very much. Seriously, the only guy I knew who wore a speedo was a hyper-sexual womanizer. The reason people assume a man who shows a lot of skin is gay is because everyone knows (but many people simultaneously feign ignorance to) the fact that men are easily stimulated visually. So the assumption is if a guy is showing a lot of skin, he's trying to attract gay men, thus gay himself. But when we apply the same principle to women we get called misogynist pigs.
You say it's just "gender roles" but how do you explain men's fashion is *always* less revealing than women's?
this is so true great video, Brian. The sad part about this as well is that some Christian women don't even hold themselves to the standard of modesty. there's a lot that you can learn about a woman by the way she dresses.
Not some majority of Christian women dont even believe in it now. Have a look at Europe and Northern America where immodesty is promoted and being modest is considered as oppressed. Infact non Christian women's in India,China,Bhutan are more modest than Christian women of Europe
If you have a negative reaction to seeing a womans body…ur closeted gay bro
Exactly! Dress modestly and elegantly I should say😊, if it makes women feel good, to be elegant but not provocative.
What what that last line! Was the mic drop. Love it. In my conversion I had this understanding and took that very seriously and I with other friends would talk and discuss what is modesty because theres another extreme where you just look like a box but then once you learn and look at people who dress modestly and use them as examples, you almost start to realize there was a point in time that fashion took certain feminine modest dresses away from people. In realizing that I have tried really hard to make that balance of beauty and modesty and other catholic women too and honestly it's a lot more feminine than short shorts and a crop top. Thank you for this.
I wonder if concerns over global overpopulation, beginning in a big way in 1969 with Paul Ehrlich's "The Population Bomb", made traditional feminine dress (which as I see it was designed to facilitate the expansion and contraction of a woman's body from pregnancy and childbirth) ideologically suspect?
A passage from Germaine Greer's "Sex and Destiny" (which I originally encountered via an article on a Muslim website defending the Islamic modest dress code) seemed very revealing:
“Women who wear cortes or huipiles or saris or jellabas or salwar kameez or any other ample garments can swell and diminish inside them without embarrassment or discomfort. Women with shawls and veils can breastfeed anywhere without calling attention to themselves, while baby is protected from dust and flies. In most non-Western societies, the dress and ornaments of women celebrate the mothering function. Ours deny it.”
A related rejoinder that I've heard for years and is difficult to counter is "I'm not ashamed of my body". Of course, I don't want people to be ashamed of their bodies, but that doesn't mean they need to be displayed indiscriminately. I wish I had a compelling counter for that for my daughters and impressionable women everywhere.
Simple. To the people who express that sentiment, ask them if they are ashamed of their sex life. If not, then ask them why they don't fuck in public, in full view for everyone to see.
This is the best I got, coming from a conversation I had with a close friend of mine who dresses immodestly (as a Catholic) and tried to make a similar case to this: "I'm not implying that you are ashamed, or should be. You shouldn't. But protecting your body is not doing so in shame, but in pride. You were made in the image of God, and you should uphold that gift and treasure it by protecting your beautiful body from society, who WILL tell you to feel ashamed about your body, though they won't tell you to hide it because they WANT to judge you and they WANT you to judge other women's bodies."
Carl…not just a question of not being ashamed of their bodies…but to treasure their bodies and souls. Hopefully they don’t feel that their bodies are made only to be on display for others to gawk at.
Western Society has no problem calling out the sins/ responsibilities/ weakness of men, but make one little provocative video like this and the comments will come ...
I can't tell you how refreshing it was to have the source of notions like these coming at me from outside of my own head. Despite living in a very religious state in the USA, it seems speaking up for virtues like modesty often makes me the odd man out. Stay true, humble, and forthright my friend.
Interesting that there are so many people who think that it was okay to restrict women's clothing instead of normalizing peoples bodies. Most men (and women) I know can look at minimally clothed people without thinking about them as an object or thinking about sex all the time. If you cannot, maybe there is something wrong with you?
People dress to be comfortable, and women are people! If it is hot they dress with less clothes, if they feel like it, and that is their right, like it is for men too.
If I see a man with bare chest I do not care. If my partner sees a woman with a very short dress, he does not care. If he sees the genitals of people he cares for in his job, it is not sexual for him. If I see children run around naked near the swimming pool, it is not sexual. If I see a naked person, I can absolutely draw themnaked without ever thinking about sex, and I did that very often in the past during my art classes. Being able to do that without getting aroused is normal adult behaviour.
If you cannot see a person of the opposite sex without problems, maybe you should not expect others to dress like YOU want but just move to a region where you live a solitary life and do not meet anybody. That is better for everybody.
And no, we can not just rule out everything that could make you think "bad things". If we do a few years will pass and crazy people will decide that feet or faces are "not modest" and try to make women hide even those. Better work on your problems with foreign bodies by working on yourself.
probably the best comment in this thread. People really underestimate themselves in their willpower and mindset.
as a young Christian girl, i’m 16, i’m trying to be more modest. i’ve never been one of the super immodest girls, but i do wear crop tops (not very cropped but enough to show some of my stomach) and shorter shorts/skirts/dresses. but i’ve always liked to dress a bit more covered up than other girls my age. lately i’ve been trying to dress with longer shorts and shirts, and if i’m wearing tight clothes i’ll put a blouse on top.
What about the innocence of children? We protect our young. Self centered people have no regard for innocence of kids. This is the only true reason to cover one’s sexual exhibition in public
In some societies it's been normal for women to walk around without shirts on and they seem to be fine in that regard. It's harder to sexualize something to that extent if it's out in the open for all to see every day all day.
@@SmallSpoonBrigade sorry
, those primitives have rejected or never heard the salvation of Christ. Also, the third world is called such for many reasons. One is the level of sin tolerated. No, moving to obedience of the Father is really the only hope for the world. Sorry you weren’t exposed to these truths. But now you have a beginning. Obey the Father in fear and trembling, do your children a favor. Or, we burn for eternity.
As we learn and live the one true faith, we begin to accept facts more than usual. Some indigenous tribes in S. America still practice infanticide. This practice is antithetical to Christ, no?
ruclips.net/video/QuIEYn3Egiw/видео.html
If we really cared about children we’d abolish organized religion since that is where a massive amount of abuse and grooming occures
@@szs2785 sorry, atheists killed 100,000,000 men, women, and children in the 20th century. Your refusal to read history is glaring
As a converted Christian it hit me one day. I'm casuing someone else to fall (male or female) the stares I got so cringed when i look back. I now get compliments for showing my modest beauty and the holy spirit pouring out of me not gross comments of my body.
Sounds like victim blaming. What a woman wears is not a man’s invitation, divert your eyes if you don’t have a pure mind. I work in healthcare, I don’t look at the human body as a sexual thing unless I’m with my husband, maybe you should take that approach.
That is ridiculous how can u not see heaps of women dressing revealing he has eyes. He isn’t staring it is impossible not to see. I am a woman and u can’t help but see when u have eyes. Impossible when your eyes are open unless he walks around with his eyes shut. It is like someone saying to u then just ignore someone getting bashed in the corner then don’t look
Good video, very nice points.
I'm a Catholic, and want a more modest world. Honest Question though:
I have a fifteen and nineteen year-old daughter. And while my wife and have taught modesty in the context of a Christian family, we have not hidden them away from the world, and they are members of their time/era...
It's true that 'provocative' clothing is meant to provoke... But from much of what my daughters wear, and from what they say, and what their peers say and talk about, I think a big rift that makes this conversation so difficult is that (especially younger) people will wear things, genuinely not knowing/realizing/(or even believing) that what they are wearing is less/more revealing/attention getting in the first place...
What would you say about this?
Virtue happens on purpose, vice happens by accident. Fitness happens on purpose, fat happens by accident. It's not enough to not try to be provocative. You have to actively work on the virtue of modesty or you will accidentally tend towards the opposite vice.
Although it still happens, immodest hasn't really been a big issue in the Orthodox camp.
@@BrianHoldsworth I appreciate this
I once saw a meme of a woman wearing short shorts and a tank top. The caption read, "I should be able to wear this and still get respect." The thing is that respect is EARNED. There is also a saying, "You can choose your actions, but you cannot choose others' reactions."
And isn't the way we dress part of how we communicate to the world around us? Through our appearance, we are communicating to others who we are and how we want to be perceived. What that meme is actually saying is to deny the evidence my own eyes have witnessed and instead adopt whatever filter the other person demands of me. Of course, there's no standard I can use to determine said filter, but may heaven help me if I choose wrong! Society's reactions are the very thing humans have developed to create and maintain standards of social behavior. If you're constantly ogled by men when you wear booty shorts, maybe the problem isn't them, and you're just being hard of hearing in terms of the social reaction you're getting.
I totally agree with you, by the way. I was just adding my 2 cents to your point! 😊
If you can't respect a woman simply because she wears shorts and a tank top, then you are the problem, not her.
Respect is something that is earned and is about character, not dress; though choice of dress is often indicative of the quality of one's character. The only thing she has a right to is bodily integrity. The correct caption should have read: "I should be able to wear this and not get raped."
@@alaunaenpunto3690 If you are unable to respect a woman because she wears shorts and a tank top (not sure what this says about her character), then you are the problem, not her.
@@HuxtableKWell fortunately for me, I don't consider that to be a problem.
Thank you so much for this video. I'm glad I found your channel. Finally a man that has the courage to speak about this.
Its underestimated how complicated modesty is. Everyone has different opinions on what is modest. I want to be, but I also want to be attractive and not frumpy. Finding the balance is hard and confusing. Sometimes I cant tell if somethings modest. Like are one piece bathing suits even okay?
People are going to have different answers to your question, but my answer is, when the bottom of the swimsuit shows as much as underwear, should it be acceptable to wear in public? I don't think so. I made myself a swimskirt and capris rhat are both knee length. And I use a swim shirt
@@Ashley-li5yv But if people have different opinions how do I know which are objectively true?
@@socratesandstorybooks1109 there is always an objective truth. But on this side of heaven we wont always know it. But to those that ask the Lord and Our Lady for guidance, they will receive it. Showing our bums and thighs has for all of Christian history been considered immodest. I think that's a good starting place for Christians of Good Will. I try to take the example of how women saints dressed but within the customs of today (so I won't be wearing a crinoline cage under a floor length skirt with a corset but I will wear a midi skirt and blouse that covers the shoulders, upper arms, and cleavage
@@Ashley-li5yvGood points thank you:) Its hard cause sometimes when I go too far with modesty I stand out and appear unaproachable. I don't want to stand out or appear frumpy. But I also dont want to appear sexual. Finding the balance is hard. Thank you for yojr advice though:)
@@socratesandstorybooks1109 you're welcome! I try to dress in a modestly attractive way too. I do not dress frumpy. I always try to look my best :)
Nope... People should be allowed to wear whatever, however they want and as little or as much of it as they like. That is freedom.... If Somebody chooses to express themselves by wearing revealing, provocative or unusual clothing than that is their responsibility to deal with the eyes that might look at and judge them. That said, morality and the kind of person someone is has nothing to do with how they choose to dress. I have met too many well-dressed, modest assholes in my lifetime and just many kind, beautiful and generous people on the other side of the spectrum to think otherwise. It's what you do and how your treat other people that defines you as a good person not how you dress...
It's very nice of you to put forth so much effort to resist objectifying women and have respect for your wife. You have a lot of spiritual understanding to value human beings. The Catholic Church is awesome like that :)
It's not about not looking, it's about basic human respect. Looks don't define us. Just because a woman looks attractive - does not mean you are allowed to make assumptions about who she is and what does she want. You have no idea am I looking for attention or not. You can not just make assumptions about women. If you are a man, just act like a respectful human. If a woman is interested you'll know, if she is not than leave her alone. You can wear what you want, I don't spend my days looking at men. I don't care.
Selfish
Just a friendly reminder that lust and love are not compatible and are in fact antithetical to one another! God bless and take care
Well said
Yes. Love is willing the good of the other. Lust is using the other for good of self.
Absolutely excellent! Such wisdom you have! Thank you for sharing it! Blessings! 😊
I have gone back and forth on my modesty journey. I remember wanting the attention. You get dressed thinking of accentuating as many aspects of your body as possible . I now realizing that it is all bad attention. Shallow at best. Nothing compares to the respect and honor that I receive now as a modest woman.
Precisely. I’ve had this thought (and collection of thoughts) for years but haven’t ever heard it this succinctly or at all. Thank you for saying what millions of men feel. Keep up the observation and insight