I'm moving to LA... // EP 14 - Pretty Lonesome
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- Опубликовано: 7 янв 2024
- In this episode, Madeline candidly shares her therapeutic journey, grappling with honesty and past struggles with a previous therapist. Embarking on a new therapeutic relationship, Madeline recounts the challenges of openly discussing her concerns, even facing interruptions and discrepancies.
Madeline delves into the complexities of ADHD, detailing extremes from dysfunction to productivity, challenging her previous therapist's suggestion that self-destructive behaviors could be beneficial. Expressing a recent low mental state marked by self-criticism, Madeline underscores the importance of self-compassion and the journey to becoming her own ally.
Overall, Madeline's narrative reveals her commitment to overcoming challenges, fostering self-awareness, and prioritising self-care for positive mental health.
no la ruins literally everyone 😭
Maybe she is already ruined idk 💀🤷🏼
@@stardolphin6662 why would u say that 😭😭??
What does that even mean
It will be glorious to behold
Yeah she's a month from joining onlyfans
Where’s Augustine
if you dont want to watch the full video, she basically says shes going to LA & new york for 4 weeks she clickbated us
thanks 😂
you’re a real one for that
THANK YOU
Thanks😂.i thought that's interesting when i saw that title
LA really fucks everything up😞
LA will change her for sure but not in the positive way may I add
LA is a super fun place to live when your young. I see the appeal. LA's truly a really awesome place, just gets a bad rep from people who choose to let it control them.
Augustine I can’t find your comment, where are you ??
i have quite literally NEVER related to an influencer more in my life. i’m horrible at responding/waking up/having a schedule. i KNOW that i need to respond to people & get back on track but i’m like “meh already here”. everything she says about journaling, therapy, etc are just so unbelievably relatable. it’s so refreshing to finally be able to relate to an influencer that doesn’t just do GRWM’s all day & never addresses any personal trials.
I don’t think I’m the only one here to find out where’s Augustine
no cos same
@@augusttabriz1 APPRECIATE
WHO HERE IS LOOKING FOR AUGUSTINE
Meeeee
can’t find him
meeeeee 😅😅😅
HAS ANYBODY FOUND HIM YET
who's that
I'm already so excited for this because she articulates everything so well, she could talk about anything for hours and i’d just nod
its on spotify already 😭
are we listening to the same podcast?
you could get a work phone to separate your social and work life more definitively and things like that can help to keep emotional and life balance
as a person w adhd i guarantee u that she will procrastinate checking it and will end up losing her work, literally will just be an abandoned phone 😭
Augustine comment doesn't exist.
Genius Mads, genius.
NOOO IT DOES buttt his name is augusTA my bad
augustine where’re you at ??
i’ve never related to someone’s exact feelings/thought process in my life. It makes me so happy hearing you talk about all of the things i feel are “unormal” in some spaces. Ty for being my online therapist, love u mads💜💜
It’s crazy, I feel the exact same and it’s also surprising to me how many people can relate on this level to her, so they basically relate to us hahahaha
She is honestly living her best life.
Accepting all of yourself is the key, realizing that the ‘evil’ part of you is just the hurt part of you that really needs a hug, and is trying her best to keep you safe bc of trauma stories and patterns, love is key❤❤❤
For me at least, everyone is different, and has different stories we’ve been taught
Also, make your flat your sanctuary. Your recharging station, I made a Pinterest board of the aesthetics I love and would make me happy to be in everyday, trying to make my everyday life full of ‘Glimmers’
currently looking for augustine's comment
cant find it lol lmk if u do
where is he
Almost everything you say is so relatable for me and it really makes me understand what I'm actually feeling. It's kind of like someone is articulating what's going on in my own head.
That has a great healing effect, cause most of the time I don't even get myself
She is thriving
Love to see that, go girl
AUGUSTINE COMMENT HERE
Madeline,
I'm pretty sure you're an "INFJ" personality type (like myself) which is very useful to know because it's 1% of the population. That's partly why you're having a hard time because you need to understand how you're cognitively wired differently than most. Briefly about INFJs cognitive functions:
@3:35 you're hyper-aware of your feelings but because you have "Fi Critic" (introverted feeling) function you feel worthless because you're hyper-critical of your own self-worth and value which is why you struggle to fix the root which is shame around not being "good enough", feeling worthless.
@4:30 it's about "Si Demon" (introverted sensing) function meaning you self-sabotage because you don't respect your physical body or its limitations, etc. because you lead with "Ni Hero" (introverted intuition) which is like fire (Ni) vs. earth (Si) so you're constantly looking ahead, future-oriented, all about desire/what you want, etc. so the lesson is to learn to respect and attune to your physical health and not ignore it, be okay with boring routines (Si) to maintain balance, etc.
@6:00 When you talk about your "ADHD" having two sides you're talking about your primary 1st function "Ni Hero" which can do ANYTHING and the other side is "Si Demon" your last 8th function where you're consumed by the most unconscious part of your psyche metaphorically like a "demon" that makes you self-sabotage because it's linked to "Si" aka introverted sensing, your physical body, health, routine, long-term bad memories, etc. The lesson is to learn to transform the demon into an angelic function (where a lot of your hatred is linked to your past memory that you need to reconcile with or it will come up and act through your body like an addiction as you say) so learning to transform your hate/rage into love.
"Fe Parent" (extroverted feeling) function meaning you're very empathetic type and need to guard yourself towards sucking in other people's emotions and easily being guilt-tripped, mirroring other people's values and if bad company you risk mirroring bad values if you’re not “responsible” (parent) learning to set healthy boundaries to preserve your own values in order to build lasting self-respect such that you won't be self-sabotaging, etc. You have to be responsible with adopting “wise” values (transforming the critic to wisdom!)
"Se Inferior" function meaning you're afraid of giving other's a bad experience yet you need connection/attention which you over-compensate for and risk losing yourself, which plays into why you self-sabotage, etc because of not getting good attention/having true connections/loyal people around. "Se Inferior" makes it hard to socialize because you're so sensitive to what other's do (Se) and what other's feel also (Fe) and then learning to not over-perform (Se) for others because you think it makes them loyal which you desperately because INFJs want "intimacy" (into-me-see) above all aka why "pretty lonesome". These dynamics cause INFJs to be among the most lonely of all the types.
Be careful surrounding yourself with the wrong crowd mirroring bad values. You need to be alone a lot to discover and integrate your own values/self-worth and find a wolfpack of healthy moral people that are loyal and you can emulate or else you risk becoming corrupt instead of having integrity of character which is what you seek above all.
Just scratching surface of dynamics tho.
Hope this makes somewhat sense and can help if you see it :)
THIS IS HIS COMMENT
I'm assuming this isn't your comment?? But anyways, Myer Briggs tests, personality types etc was scientifically disproven by the APA and I believe the BPS. It was found out to be a pseudoscience so sorry if you wasted your time copying and pasted this or whatever
People like you have a special place in heaven
@@mariamsaad3929 for spreading lies?
Ur a legend 🤞🏼🤞🏼
No she seems like a sensor.. she only talks about people, places, things, events…not concepts
When I tell you I can relate like crazy to everything you’re saying , it’s actually scary, maybe it’s because I have ADHD but it feels like I’m living that exact life in a different way haha ,
Happy new year 🫶🏾
WHOS HERE LOOKING FOR AUGISTINE
Is Augustine in the room with us ??!!
YALL fast
how did you know 😛
meee
Good to know im not the o ly freak lol
Thank you! You too.
For sharing and talk to us.
Have a nice Day. I will see you in the next video. 👏👏👏👏👏👍
I can tell some of y’all didn’t watch the full video…She said she’s only going to LA for 2 weeks 😭
Thank you so much for just being you and sharing your emotions. You really help me and I’m sure countless others not feel so alone having our “evil selves” come out 🩵 love you babe
Moving to LA can be a great thing. Wishing you all the best.
looking for augustine
same
Queen is consistent. Love to see it
oh my GOD madeline i owe u so so much because i was just casually watching ur adhd video and started to notice i might have it too. i did so much research right after and saw a psychiatrist who said he thinks i might have it too but wants to run alooot of tests on me (my appt is in a couple days). im saying this because i noticed here too we’re alike with the whole 2 extremes. im never in the middle either 😭 this is insane i feel like really reassured and not that alone anymore. i love you
WFT do DJs actually do?
I'm so excited to see you again
As someone who is the exact same, definitely look into ADHD strategies for women and ultimately...meds. I got diagnosed this year after burning out so bad I didn't move for 2 months during COVID. Most of the time we can reflect and do things to cope, sometimes though, you just really fucking need a med. It's not like other medications where you have to take it for months, I literally decide on the day!
ughh madeline i really relate to what you said about self sabotaging only when you feel rlly good. i’ve recently been diagnosed with adhd too and i’m 22 and its unmedicated still and this one boy is literally so bad for me and so when we aren’t in contact i start to feel way better and then when i reach my peak i reach out and see him again it’s so upsetting. And i have no desire to see him when îm not doing well. Anyways love you haha
Someone here to find Augustine too?
ysz help me
@@clara9101yes hlep
@@augusttabriz1 APPRECIATE
the podcast setup is so nice!!!
🔸Def get 2 phones; a work and personal phone. 🔸Also, create a schedule, like you’re only going to interact w your personal phone after 5pm when all your business stuff is done. 🔸Let your friends know that your professional life is getting busier and you can no longer manage to text all day. Set expectations for your friends, they’ll appreciate it and understand you’re not ignoring them.
Cannot wait for next week
“I’m having an amazing life but I’m doing it miserably” me at 21 wow couldn’t have related more
and we will never know what augustine said 😢
i’m moving to LA to work full time at a production house in 5 days! wild timing
Go secure that bag man 🥳
same Madeline when I first started therapy with my current therapist I talked non-stop for the first couple of sessions to the point where I was worried I wasn't letting her do her job and I asked her ummm am I doing the right thing. i still talk most of the time, almost 2 years in now
I love seeing your videos 💗
I relate so much, it amazes me
17:05 maybe a phone designated only for work would be a solution. I know that feeling too well, it’s overwhelming and you feel like you can’t really turn off work which in turn hinders your energy for private conversations and activities on your phone
Thank you Madeline Because you made me feel relaxed comfortable and positive energy love u💓💖
Also I think having a group of people around you isn’t as necessary as you think… even sectioned. I’ve tried to section school, work, and personal life friends and it gets too overwhelming since I am an extroverted introvert and can’t please every single one of them. I learned after leaving 3 friend groups in the past 2 years sometimes it’s best to have that singular friend fulfill the social and adventure or whatver aspect in life because people cant fulfill everything you want and you can’t expect people to fulfill missing voids and let it harm you when you realize people can’t fill a void. Like I’m vibin solo with my bf until I meet a person that matches my energy and views in life which may be rare but it’s out there. In the mean time id rather be alone than drain my social battery in people who aren’t ride or die for me as I am for them
i feel like self sabotage is very normal if it becomes a habit, because you can be afraid of letting yourself too comfortable being happy.
Why is it always LA 😭😭
The Mexican food be getting em
I’m 24 and I haven’t moved out yet, I truly gotta become an influencer
love ya madeline! take my enery create any life u wish!
LA is NOT the move
Love your posts it feels like an intense therapy session but it sounds so relatable to everyone’s life. You should consider having two phones (work and personal) then you can mute one whilst working. Unless you can select contacts as work or friends/ family then mute one. When you’re trying to focus on the other. Sometimes it’s good to have a phone & technology timeout for a few hours each day as they consume so much of our time
14:58 healing from anything just means prioritizing/making yourself feel better when you need it. I understand not always having the energy to make yourself feel better but don't wallow in your sadness too much! also you don't have to write excessively.
I relate to you so much I cloud hear you tallk everyday ❤
my DREAMM. Fr tho I’ve lived in the UK for about 5 years now and it’s great but la is just so perfect for anyone in the industry and the beach/nature/nice weather doesn’t hurt either.
Madeline is my comfort person
GIRL 🫠 the ADHD avatars are literally soooo relatable I feel the exact same and the SAME SHIT went down with my therapist 😩
Everywhere in London is in walking or cycling distance if you live central! Public transport is also so good here
As an LA resident maybe I can make some recommendations. We kind of call it the countryside but in LA I think that would be disingenuous to some. We have suburbs and rural areas in SoCal. The San Bernardino Mountains and valley are nice. People that live there might call it the foothills or the Inland Empire (IE) and opinions on the area are mixed. I personally like it out there. Good Asian food, great hikes, nice and quiet. But to Angelenos, it’s bum f*ck nowhere. I like nature so that area is my vibe.
If you want to see some touristy things but not to the level of Venice or Hollywood/Highland (no locals would ever recommend those spots lol) and you have a car, maybe visit the OC? Beautiful beaches, Disneyland, the Packing District, a good amount of nightlife to enjoy too. If you have a ton of time to kill, San Diego is just a few hours away too.
If you’re staying in LA proper, you’ll definitely find a ton to do. I usually suggest street tacos for a full local experience. Everyone has their favorites but I always go to Leo’s.
Lots of people here are physically active. So if you want to make friends without drinking, I say join up some outdoor activity. Beach volleyball, hiking, running, etc. I personally go climbing. I’ve met most of my friends through climbing and volleyball. Haha
Oh and Palm Springs and Joshua Tree! Highly recommend!
It's pretty great. Diverse, chill people, you will find.
Please don’t move to LA, the crime rate is really bad there…you’ll miss the UK so much 😭
I frankly agree. Not only that, it is more expensive than London.
I've lived in LA my whole life, it's really not that bad. I've never been mugged, robbed, or assaulted/harassed. If anything, it's a place that has allowed to to pursue my life creatively, and freely. I love LA, it's a beautiful, diverse, and fun. Yes it's expensive, but I have no doubt she can't afford it. Also, change is not permanent.
have you considered getting a work phone/number? and then a work email address vs your personal one? i’m not an influencer by any means, but being a student and working an internship, it’s been really nice to be able to keep personal life things completely separate from work things.
Your issues seem to be related to having adhd and autism I feel like my adhd and autism are like two opposite personalities and I’m always struggling between the two. Autism burn out is a very real thing too.
Ooooh I love youuuuu Madeline
i really enjoyed this episode. it gave me a lot of good ideas and made me think of things i’ve been doing too. idk this sounds like feedback youd give to a classmate lol but like i wanna make changes too. thank u
Augustine does not exist.
This is the greatest articulation of my ADHD and how I’ve been feeling these last few months.
I’m…wow…fuck
Let me know if anyone finds the augustine comment xx
AUGUSTINE????????? WHERE ARE YOU
I’m from LA!!!! If you need something new to do there try the Broad museum or somewhere like Olvera Street or Little Tokyo. If you need to get out of LA and drive somewhere I suggest Santa Barbara or Solvang!
And I agree Venice beach is nasty lmao
Great pod
how do you explain everything i feel when im feeling it so properly 😭
as someone who just moved out of la this month… please don’t 😭
I definitely think you should live where you’re happy!
Bro i live by here and go there a lot. Its a mix of everyone. If you know how to deal with switch ups and know how to cut em off quick after a good time a trusting, you should be good. Place got snakes
Love u and love your positive intuitions as it’s such key. Specially in this world 💎
AugusTA show yourself
Madeline ❤
You need a work phone or another device like a laptop and only use that for work and use your phone for personal use
Ugh you explained the adhd thing so well
Hey, have you thought about getting a work phone to help with separating work and family/friends/relaxation?
Or a lot of people have an ipad anyway. Move all the fun to something that’s not constantly on you☺️
I feel like the people in the comments didn’t listen to the podcast ???
Theres an augustine guys just filter to newest and scroll slowly 💀💀💀 it shud be augusta
Medication for your ADHD would be life changing
The week before it was colorful character because he gave her a car 😭
Madeline while you are here give us the Monaco vlog
Maybe when you feel good you also want to have fun and we associate smokes and alcohol with socialisation, fun, etc. as a society and a culture we take these conditionings in. I don’t know if it’s as simple as self sabotage, rather maybe when you think ‘I feel good I wanna have fun and relax and then your brain presents you images of wine and smokes because these are associated with those desires. Your brain isn’t self sabotaging you it’s trying to help you fulfil a desire, which is beautiful, but you got to re train your mind to associate other things with relaxing, enjoying yourself, spoiling yourself, and having fun.
MADELINE COME TO PALM SPRINGS!!!
I live in NY - come visit!
Yessss i will be breathing the same air as my queen
A friend of mine just got diagnosed with bipolar disorder. No middle ground, only manic or depressed.
what i struggle with for mbti is that it portrays being late for things, being unorganised, or not meeting deadlines as things that are personality traits. in actuality these things correlate with adhd most of the time, a disorder, which has nothing to do with your personality. for example, somebody could be isfj, yet not relate to it due to their adhd making them unorganised. Or, maybe in your situation you relate to being infj due to it describing things you feel you relate to that are just because of your adhd. i think it is easy to mix up things that are really just disorders to being something that is all down to personality.
for example, when u go on to the page about ISFJ, the first thing it mentions is organisation which can be hard to relate to when you have adhd. when really, the only thing that seperates infjs to isfjs is that one is more sensing. this kinda sounds like you as you look less at the bigger picture of things and more on the smaller details that make it that way (to me obvi just listening to ur vids) but then again this can still be down to adhd, as people with adhd overthink about topics and will focus on the details then quickly move off topic, onto something else. So, it is difficult as adhd affects the way you think down to your behaviours as it is psychological affecting your brain, while personality is social
but then again this is just me rambling👍👍
Not to diagnose anyone through the internet but what you described as the ‘two states of adhd’ and ‘having no middle ground’ sounds very much like bipolar 2. It’s extremely common to have co morbidities with adhd
i thought this too
i relate so so so much, I am so addicted to being uncomfortable
and when I'm in a good place I also can't imagine ever being back in the bad place and vice versa
omg and i dont have any object permanence with people either, so i like never miss anyone which makes me feel guilty
love you
As long as I understood you are only going to LA for 2 Weeks not like moving for a longer time, right?
5 daily prayers my sister
I feel like New York’s more your vibe than la
you should see what ur human design type is. It helped me understand my energy and how i should work/opperate, and make decisions
Hey Maddy, love your Podcasts, NYC is better. - Timoteo!
Mads an ipad will change your life. That’s the designated fun place & it doesn’t leave a certain room (or the house). Then your phone can just be your phone. It’s great😊
If you’re moving to LA you should collab with Emma Chamberlain
Madeline when can we expect merch???❤❤❤