These videos are great for showing me that we didn't have a relationship like that; open, communicative, trusting, and that I have much more to offer than what he was willing or capable of giving back emotionally in return. xx thank you
.....Wow! This spoke more beyond words. I’ve been having trouble on how to communicate my vulnerability and this really helped to bring things into perspective. Thank you Clay.
I wish ppl were very nice am talking about 1985 good I remember ppl use help one another be abundance’s with your like if you visit someone house you show love this why a lot of ppl have shortage of love because they never spread love they want only to be loved
My ex doesnt want to get back together. I text her everyday. We have a child together so it's hard to do no contact. Idk what to do. She left me saying we didnt go on many dates. Yet everytime I tried it was turned down. She says she wants to have fun. She claims to still love me but not in love. She says we can talk about anything but she never opened up to me about anything ever. Idk what to do. I want her back but it seams shes not willing or want to at all try nd work on things
Hi @clayAndrews could you possibly speak on the “maybe in the future, see what happens” and the chances of them just softening the blow or keeping the door open or you being a back up plan would be greatly appreciated for a better understanding
It distances him when I do that. We are in contact daily, by text mostly. He had bursts of missing me and called me a lot and now it is less frequent. He used to tell me I love you after phone calls in the first months of the break up, now he does it on and off. I tried being positively genuine, and it seems to not make him closer but rather less warm...but he opens up more on his feelings toward things, never talks about his feelings about me, but tells me lots of hugs and ''I hug you''.
Getting back together is a process that you and your ex will go through. The dynamics can change as the more the person reached the level of acceptance and healing. You can take this opportunity as a window to start from a clean slate instead of picking things up from where it left off.
Clay this advice about showing vulnerability is perfect as I had no idea how to do this. I will be meeting up with my ex again soon and have written these sentences on my phone to prompt me to say them. Wish me luck.
@@ClayAndrews I don’t have many guy friends so in a strange way I feel like your videos are speaking to me as if you were a guy friend and I feel like I can take away so much to offer a new beginning to whoever is out there for me.
Hi Clay, thanks for the video, to bad it came a week to late :(. My ex reached out last week asking me for how long will i have a space for her in my heart and saying that she is tired of all the pain, I was comforting to her and tried to help her. Now I'm afraid i was to much of a "cool friend" rather than being vulnerable to. I just hope i didn't push her away.
I would just love to be hanging out with mine. I think that’s good to be called weird it means your different especially if you were never called weird
Best timing and my ex/friend are doing well , we do odd we miss this together and miss being together sometimes and I can br very open with him but we are staying close friends, cause that is where we are for now . N we both need some time to be single.
Hi Shay, remember that scripts is something that we discourage for people to use. Remember that your personal, character and sincerity will show on the message that you send out to people. So instead of focusing on the scripts and templates, it is more essential to develop the needed skills so we can communicate things naturally with our ex. We can se scripts and template to develop an idea though. :-)
I'm still I early stages of getting my ex back..had a great chat last week and exchanged 3 texts since, she responds to my 1st text and then leaves me on read on the 2nd time....I know my ex said she wanted me to open up more...however when shes not communicating much its tough to be vulnerable to her...any suggestions?
The best skill that you can apply here is awareness and being in the present moment. Be okay if the conversation is quite short for now, what is important is the consistency and quality of the interaction.
Hello Clay, How's come my ex fiancee is always reaching out and contacting me? She's the one that left me, cheated, lied n etc... Told ppl she hated me, don't love or want me, never coming back, claims she don't love me, want me, don't want to fix us n etc... Then why is she always reaching out and contacting me if that's true? Why bother contacting me, when you know where I stand and feel about things between us? I told her if that stuff is true, don't bother contacting me, or don't contact me if don't love me and want us to work and be together. So if you don't then don't contact me. She'll get mad block n unblock, again and again. Or make new accounts and contact me. Why? We'll stop talking for a couple days to a week to 2 weeks, this past one was 2 n half without. Then she contacts me again. Why? Explain this one, would love to see a video explaining this.... I feel she's lyings to me about her feelings towards me n us together.
HI Ryan, I may not be able to exactly tell the reason of your ex, but the best way to know her own intention and reasons is to talk to her. Communicating will help both of you understand where you are coming from at the present moment. After all, the only person that holds the truth is only your ex. :-)
@@ClayAndrews if you could, they best way you can, by things who've worked with to help would help. I've tried, but it's like she avoids it n answering. I have did research, about it, pretty much all says she's confused, confused about us, the break-up, her love and feelings for me, not being true to herself, contacts me because she really doesn't want to lose me, even though she left me. There was more... But would love to know more and better explained to me best that can be. But I enjoy your videos and learning, trying to apply them and work them not only on and for her, but to myself also. It's hard, cause it's like she don't want to talk about it, or even try to fix. Or she scared to. But yet she's always reaching out.
Hey Brad I really need your help.....after no contact me and my ex talks again for a week or two and she let me help with her child and she has some cold and hot moments....we been on coffee today and after I take her home she hug me and then I kiss her twice but fast....she tells me :Dont start it again,isnt it better for us to stay friends? What should I do now?
So is getting drunk by mistake , probably out of anxiety, negative vulnerability? Hadn't seen her in a few years and I passed out in the bar and she had to drive me home...
What about when they start texting you ever day ...morning etc .. I said are you being fair to us both texting everyday ...he said no your right ☹️. Not sure if I did right thing as now we have no communication. (Those are the wording he used when he said he couldn't give me what I wanted last year ..not being fair to each other!!.) I do say I liked hearing from him before though ☺️.
Hi Erica, It's not my team that does the personal plan. I do it personally. Do give me enough time to process the information that you have provided so I can come up with the most appropriate plan for you. :-)
Can you also make a video about an ex who came back and i gave her another chance then she left me for someone else again. She monkey branched for the 2nd time. Something like that.
Try doing the 5x5 list to assess the person that you are trying to get back with. In that way,. you would be able to assess if your personal values still match with his character and the quality of relationship that you both have.
Hi Steven, we have to be realistic that some of the strategies may not be implemented the soonest due to the reality of the situation. If your ex had ghosted you, you have to reflect on the core reason why the breakup happened. Is your personal values still aligned with the person who ghosted you?
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
There's no one like Clay Andrews on RUclips. He's the best guide when you need relationship advice. Thank you!
Yes there is, Coach Craig Kenneth, coach blac
These videos are great for showing me that we didn't have a relationship like that; open, communicative, trusting, and that I have much more to offer than what he was willing or capable of giving back emotionally in return. xx thank you
Hi Jen, I appreciate your kind words. :-)
Validate her feelings. Make then heard. Make her attracted to you. Don't keep score. Be good with communication. Never stop improving yourself
This is who I am, this is how I feel, this is what I like
.....Wow! This spoke more beyond words. I’ve been having trouble on how to communicate my vulnerability and this really helped to bring things into perspective. Thank you Clay.
You are so welcome. :-) Glad that this video resonates with you.
I like that you make your videos short but straight to the point but easy to understand. Keep it up!
Thank you. :-)
Exactly Clay. The thing of power in relation to love and caring is a recipe for a turbulent relationship
I wish ppl were very nice am talking about 1985 good I remember ppl use help one another be abundance’s with your like if you visit someone house you show love this why a lot of ppl have shortage of love because they never spread love they want only to be loved
Genius! Yes 💯 a relief to see mature and excellent advice to follow - no games, pure genuine vulnerability is answer. Agreed!
Thank you for the compliment, Sara. :-)
Getting back with your ex for convenience? Nope. She has to earn that. I'm not a back up plan.
Lmaoo look how girlie we sound on the other end "she gotta EARN ma trust mhhhhmm" lol
It is exactly how I feel now
Yes she got back after I revealed my latest paycheck to her!
😄🤣😂
Lol
😂
🤣🤣🤣
Lmaooooo
I love this channel it’s so solution oriented
Thank you so much and we appreciate that you took the time to watch our videos. :-)
Why is it so oriented? Is it because he's looks Oriental? 🤣
Its about giving Love not receiving...that is because there is not enough self love...need to work on yourself first.
My ex doesnt want to get back together. I text her everyday. We have a child together so it's hard to do no contact. Idk what to do. She left me saying we didnt go on many dates. Yet everytime I tried it was turned down. She says she wants to have fun. She claims to still love me but not in love. She says we can talk about anything but she never opened up to me about anything ever. Idk what to do. I want her back but it seams shes not willing or want to at all try nd work on things
Hi @clayAndrews could you possibly speak on the “maybe in the future, see what happens” and the chances of them just softening the blow or keeping the door open or you being a back up plan would be greatly appreciated for a better understanding
Tried this, and I was told to move on 🥺
Thank you Clay your Advice is so rewarding 🙏🙏🙏💞
It distances him when I do that. We are in contact daily, by text mostly. He had bursts of missing me and called me a lot and now it is less frequent. He used to tell me I love you after phone calls in the first months of the break up, now he does it on and off. I tried being positively genuine, and it seems to not make him closer but rather less warm...but he opens up more on his feelings toward things, never talks about his feelings about me, but tells me lots of hugs and ''I hug you''.
Getting back together is a process that you and your ex will go through. The dynamics can change as the more the person reached the level of acceptance and healing. You can take this opportunity as a window to start from a clean slate instead of picking things up from where it left off.
He helped me get my ex back a few days ago under 24 hours without any delay❤❤❤❤❤❤💕💕💕💕❤
Whtzpp him*******
+ 2=3=4=7=0=4= 1=4=2=5=1=7=9
@@babaraelik3934 You are just annoying people and it is so blatant that it is fake
Clay this advice about showing vulnerability is perfect as I had no idea how to do this. I will be meeting up with my ex again soon and have written these sentences on my phone to prompt me to say them. Wish me luck.
All the best, @robertmorgan2642 :-)
This is so on time. I feel like whether with an ex or new person this will help me reflect on my own actions and reasons why. Thanks ....again.
You're welcome, DL. Thanks for watching our videos always. We truly appreciate that.
@@ClayAndrews I don’t have many guy friends so in a strange way I feel like your videos are speaking to me as if you were a guy friend and I feel like I can take away so much to offer a new beginning to whoever is out there for me.
Hi Clay, thanks for the video, to bad it came a week to late :(. My ex reached out last week asking me for how long will i have a space for her in my heart and saying that she is tired of all the pain, I was comforting to her and tried to help her. Now I'm afraid i was to much of a "cool friend" rather than being vulnerable to. I just hope i didn't push her away.
Be her hero and tell her !
Perfect timing
My ex and I are talking and sometimes hanging out. Things I do differently than how I would before she calls me weird. Is that a good thing ? Lol
I would just love to be hanging out with mine. I think that’s good to be called weird it means your different especially if you were never called weird
How did that happen? I mean how did you treat her and talk with her after the breakup?
You’re the real deal. Thank you.
Best timing and my ex/friend are doing well , we do odd we miss this together and miss being together sometimes and I can br very open with him but we are staying close friends, cause that is where we are for now . N we both need some time to be single.
I learn so much from these videos thank you 🇦🇺💋
Thanx man good stuffs
Glad to help.
I love watching videos if you don't have any motivation and very understandable
The best ex video ove seen so far
Thank you for the compliment. :-)
I really hope u can do live chat on RUclips too .
HI Gemma, We do live streams inside our private member's only community. :-)
Couldn’t agree more
I wish I can have a script of your videos so I can use some of these words with my ex. I can't remember everything and suck at words :(
Hi Shay, remember that scripts is something that we discourage for people to use. Remember that your personal, character and sincerity will show on the message that you send out to people. So instead of focusing on the scripts and templates, it is more essential to develop the needed skills so we can communicate things naturally with our ex. We can se scripts and template to develop an idea though. :-)
I'm still I early stages of getting my ex back..had a great chat last week and exchanged 3 texts since, she responds to my 1st text and then leaves me on read on the 2nd time....I know my ex said she wanted me to open up more...however when shes not communicating much its tough to be vulnerable to her...any suggestions?
The best skill that you can apply here is awareness and being in the present moment. Be okay if the conversation is quite short for now, what is important is the consistency and quality of the interaction.
Hello Clay, How's come my ex fiancee is always reaching out and contacting me? She's the one that left me, cheated, lied n etc... Told ppl she hated me, don't love or want me, never coming back, claims she don't love me, want me, don't want to fix us n etc... Then why is she always reaching out and contacting me if that's true? Why bother contacting me, when you know where I stand and feel about things between us? I told her if that stuff is true, don't bother contacting me, or don't contact me if don't love me and want us to work and be together. So if you don't then don't contact me. She'll get mad block n unblock, again and again. Or make new accounts and contact me. Why? We'll stop talking for a couple days to a week to 2 weeks, this past one was 2 n half without. Then she contacts me again. Why? Explain this one, would love to see a video explaining this.... I feel she's lyings to me about her feelings towards me n us together.
HI Ryan, I may not be able to exactly tell the reason of your ex, but the best way to know her own intention and reasons is to talk to her. Communicating will help both of you understand where you are coming from at the present moment. After all, the only person that holds the truth is only your ex. :-)
@@ClayAndrews if you could, they best way you can, by things who've worked with to help would help. I've tried, but it's like she avoids it n answering. I have did research, about it, pretty much all says she's confused, confused about us, the break-up, her love and feelings for me, not being true to herself, contacts me because she really doesn't want to lose me, even though she left me. There was more... But would love to know more and better explained to me best that can be. But I enjoy your videos and learning, trying to apply them and work them not only on and for her, but to myself also. It's hard, cause it's like she don't want to talk about it, or even try to fix. Or she scared to. But yet she's always reaching out.
Isn't putting them on the the pedestal
Hey Brad I really need your help.....after no contact me and my ex talks again for a week or two and she let me help with her child and she has some cold and hot moments....we been on coffee today and after I take her home she hug me and then I kiss her twice but fast....she tells me :Dont start it again,isnt it better for us to stay friends?
What should I do now?
I needed something like this!!!!
I'm failing this in all sorts 😕 I can't get past the test drive stage.
So is getting drunk by mistake , probably out of anxiety, negative vulnerability?
Hadn't seen her in a few years and I passed out in the bar and she had to drive me home...
What about when they start texting you ever day ...morning etc ..
I said are you being fair to us both texting everyday ...he said no your right ☹️. Not sure if I did right thing as now we have no communication.
(Those are the wording he used when he said he couldn't give me what I wanted last year ..not being fair to each other!!.)
I do say I liked hearing from him before though ☺️.
@Ice Queen don't you think it's best to both be truthful ! after breaking up then texting for months on end to what avail ??
He's just obeying you tbh lol
You didn't mess anything up. Feed him when he needs to be fed ;-) lol
Things are bk to the same as before...he still texting everyday asking how I am etc.
Hi Clay, I have registered for personal planning & coaching, do you know how many days it takes for your team to process everything?
Hi Erica, It's not my team that does the personal plan. I do it personally. Do give me enough time to process the information that you have provided so I can come up with the most appropriate plan for you. :-)
Clay, how long was it before you and your now wife started saying you loved each other again?
Hey clay, my ex replaced me with another ex girlfriend of his and am scared we might never get back together.
Just to clarify, your ex went back to his ex girlfriend, is that correct?
You were a rebound
if u were with him for longer maybe he just found the easiest person he could get
Can you also make a video about an ex who came back and i gave her another chance then she left me for someone else again. She monkey branched for the 2nd time. Something like that.
Try doing the 5x5 list to assess the person that you are trying to get back with. In that way,. you would be able to assess if your personal values still match with his character and the quality of relationship that you both have.
How does one implement theses strategies when your ex ghosted you?
Hi Steven, we have to be realistic that some of the strategies may not be implemented the soonest due to the reality of the situation. If your ex had ghosted you, you have to reflect on the core reason why the breakup happened. Is your personal values still aligned with the person who ghosted you?
What if I broke trust?
it sounds like we have to work on rebuilding that trust and confidence first.
@@ClayAndrews what if the person continues to beat the subject and makes is hard?
I've tried to show my vulnerability but nothing zero response or any action. I'm at loss
It's okay, Saba. Not all the time people responds to vulnerability instantly. More often, they also need some time to process the information.
@@ClayAndrews I was thinking about writing him a letter of what I needed to do to save us.i initiated the BU. I believe we comeback each other though.
@@rosie3749 u initiated ? you fucked up. you ain’t getting him back Lol.
👍
Nice ❤
Eww I’m grossed when he first starts out with sex. Why are men like this?
Get over it
P
I appreciate it