SHOULD I GIVE THE NARCISSIST ANOTHER CHANCE?
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- Опубликовано: 20 фев 2022
- #narcissist #narcissisticabuse It can be hard to know when to give an abuser another chance and when to walk away. It can seem very simple when you're not the one trying to make the decision for yourself. In this video, we will walk through some important things to consider when you are struggling with the decision of whether or not to give someone another chance.
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Here is contact information for when immediate help with abuse or self harm is needed. It is recommended that you use a computer or phone that your abuser cannot monitor:
Emergency: 911
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1- 800-799-7233
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE (800-784-2433)
Crisis Text Line: Text "DESERVE" TO 741-741
Lifeline Crisis Chat (Online live messaging): suicidepreventionlifeline.org...
Self-Harm Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
www.ywca.org/what-we-do/domes...
YWCA - 202-467-0801
Canadian Assaulted Women's Helpline: 1-866-863-0511
UK National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 0808 2000 247
South Africa POWA: 011 642 434/6
Australia: 1-800-RESPECT
The narcissist will never give allocution. The narcissist will be on the death bed with rotting corpses beneath it and write in their WILL that someone else put the corpses there. That is the monster you are dealing with.
Sometimes you assume you both have grown and you say something about the past and it sets the narcissist off. So, even if you intend to keep them in your life, your honesty is too much for them. The beauty of it is to see how easily they let go of you in the end. If you're lucky!
My parents keep telling me to give them a chance. How? Can't they understand that it's abusive? Why should I stay with them if I'm owned by them financially only. I know I have nothing left outside of this relationship, but I'd rather struggle to get by than feel trapped anymore. I cannot wait for freedom and safety! Have to wait while they try to prove how much they "love" me while I have to make plans to move out. I'm in the middle of nowhere, I moved here with him, I can't go anywhere, do anything accept keep their house clean, look after the animals, cook dinner, everything. And I'll be damned if I forget ANYTHING. It all clicked in my head when he wanted me to stop playing piano when he stopped with his work and I had to stop when I was busy playing to give them attention and my space and put everything away. It all came down for me. I was fine till that point that he didn't care about anything dear to me, even breaking my nose, but music?!? Hu-uh. I'm done!
One of the most important adjectives in a relationship is being “SAFE.” You will not get that from a narcissist …. it’s a gift you’ll never get. Narcs thrive on being inconsistent and will keep you invalid …. chance after 2nd, 3rd 4th, etc chances.
Not a fun fact: Narcs never change.
I am a woman who is truly damaged from staying in this relationship for 17 years I did not realize how bad this was and it's bad and I'm out of it and I will not return I'm good
I lived through it all. But once he kicked my son in the stomach, I had to draw the line. He played the victim and told everyone that I was crazy and threw him away like a piece of trash.
Yep you're right I beg for him to treat me right and I said you know what I shouldn't have to beg nobody my worth speaks by itself I'm out. Kids and I left November 21st 2021. I have not returned!
This is absolutely the best video explaining why you NEVER take the narcissist back. I did over and over, over the course of 4 years. IT NEVER WORKS OUT. Everything you said is spot on, and the way you explain it is excellent.
Thank you. And thanks for watching.
I agree, best video ever
This is so helpful and clarifying. We get so overwhelmed and confused by what we think is love. Many thanks, listening on repeat.
I think it's your best video ever. I see it 3 times. So clear. It is like a personal closure. I'm in shock this morning. The last veil is gone. I'm speachless.
Yes, I agree. Her best video yet. So so very spot on! And her emotion is wonderful.
Once the damage is done, the damage is done. If your ex narcissist hovers you claiming to have changed, please let that narcissist know that whatever changes that they have made be applied to their future relationships so the next individual won't have to endure what you experienced and keep it moving.
My Mother is a messed up individual....cluster b....the things she says are like a teenager....when caught out being rude....we have to detach emotionally...which is the greatest lesson in Earth School....especially with a Mother...she said she had been trying to buy my affection recently with food she cooked.....it never really makes sense...the words they spout....we try to understand that which has no logic or truth......thank you for these videos....xxxx
This is one of the hardest parts
:(Especially when they tell you they will change and they seem genuine and they ask you for another chance and say they wont let you down :(....it hurts when you have to still say no- because you still love them and care about them and that hope is so so so enticing and you keep thinking abour the good times and it makes it so hard to not just come back... I keep thinking about this Slipknot song lyric lol, "It took the death of hope to let you go".
He also would I guess somwhat aknowledge the problem and took some responsibility at the very end when I was leaving but...hes done that before when I left before and I gave him another chance and nothing changed..- I think he knows thats just what I want to hear :( but he has no real intention of doing so...
You have a gift for clear, super accurate information delivery.
I made the mistake of round 2.
It was exciting to try again yet shortly turned into a shitshow. An intrigue to verify information learned.
It couldn't be any clearer now that the agendas were same as before. Only worse. How many times have we heard every additional time is worse. Not their first rodeo as it's said. Narc knows time was of the essence. Nacrtriss supply turnover is quick. It was quick, cost the most in health and costs. Cops at the door. Lawyer advice. $ costs. Etc.
A huge life change before narctriss. In short, no dating experience. When still in turmoil from loss, no narc is going to fill the hole. The well deeper, the blue sky smaller. No ladder. Codependency on a wonderful relationship as a comparison. Heal the soul first, at least abap. But avoid vulnerability attachment. It's blurred, needy, has you ignoring intuition. Set back years in grief healing or a needed distraction ? I'm still not sure. It happened. It's OK not to know. It won't happen again. Then & now like night & day. Don't go back.....
You speak from a such mature healing. I have reached this step I think just ons month ago (4 years since the discard. Yes I'm slow. It was so huge. I forgive myself this lost time. I did what I could). I'm trying to solidify it (because as you know, there are some episodes of dissonance sometimes). It's a real mental work. I was so destroyed. Thanks for your videos because the list of questions about an "come back" you spot in this one are awsome ! With these questions you can kill dissonnance quickly everytime it occurs. More effective in fact then the remembering of bad times (my first trick to maintain total no contact). Thanks again. Nobody around me understand my path. When I listen your video, you tell my life as if you were a spectator of it ! I don't feel crazy anymore (because you fell yourself crazy even during the healing process. The healing process seems crazy bu its length and complexity to my entourage. I think I'll succeed. I'm almost at the end. I hope I won't fall apart badly when trigerred again in the future.)
Being in love w a narc isn’t being in love, it’s an addiction. The trauma bond is real and needs to be healed. Take good care of you bc the narc won’t.
👍👍👍
Life is full of ups and downs
Tears and Laughter.
What ever it may be in real time.
It's REAL!
I'm REAL!
WHAT WOULD I BE DOING WITH, AND/OR BEING AROUND A NARCISSIST FOR.
When the life of a narcissist is all about fantasy, fake.
Real and Fake don't mix.
I know I'm being Smeared.
I don't care about that. I will never be around those people anyway.
The people without justice, that listen to a one sided storyline.
And moreover, I'm nothing they say.
What someone says about me don't make up my Character. Who I actually am
They may say I spit on the floor. I don't spit except in the bathroom. So the smear campaign doesn't work with me.
I am not what the narcissist describes, Nor are You. You are Real the Narcissist is Fake.
And will always be.
"When someone shows you who they are, Believe them the first time".The great quote from Maya Angelou. Simply put. Don't GO BACK .
No Disrespect to the Conscience Narcissist
Such a powerful video, thank you so much! This is an incredibly accurate breakdown of why you can never go back, I lived it and even created a detailed amends process to 're-set the table' of the relationship and he faked for two plus years, a waste of time and my precious life. Thanks again.
How can they become what they have never been , they don’t even know how and what it even means ! Powerful words ! As someone who has suffered immensely after giving her a second chance , when she caused me a serious injury , makes your words so powerful ! I don’t even know your name but I feel like you really know what I went through !
Outstanding , So much Clarity ! Thank you so very much . Valuable and Important information . 🙏💪
Never. My sister did and is no longer 😕 here.
True facts 💯, and any person with good sense, and striving towards becoming a healthier us and with someone healthier, wouldn't think twice about giving them another chance, best solution here is just to cutt all ties, cutt off all forms of contact with this person, and move forward.
The only reason I'm tempted is because he is crying and so "sad" -like he ever cared if I was sad.
Very very good video good topic.
No, no and hell no
Took me three times to figure that out.
He cheated, stonewalled and blamed me, lost his job and when I asked him to get help or we end our relationship, he refused. When I was walking out the door, he cried and told me he behaved badly. I thought at the time, this guy has hit rock bottom and who am I to deny him his family if he saw the errors of his ways. I gave him another chance. 15 years later, an affair discovered and more blaming me with cruel words. The mask fell off and I saw him for the narcissist he had been hiding for over 45 years. Don't give them another chance, they will take advantage of your humanity.
And if you give the chance, as soon as they get enough Energie they get cocky and think they never need you and discard you!!! They Realy think they are better then you now ever were!!!
They act Like little children!
Wow!!! THIS!!!! 🎯
I’m so sorry :(
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. People know themselves much better than you do. That's why it's important to stop expecting them to be something other than who they are. Maya Angelou
A narc would see this second chance as weakness and exploit it to the max;
narcs are exploitive, callous, and forever eying out for the main chance;
tender, grateful, loving feelings from a mind that cannot love and has no empathy
Hope springs eternal🫤
They have no empathy
🙏🏻 🌟 🙏
Absolutely not. Are you kidding me???
Did you get another chance or 100...????