Digital Exclusive: Cutting Off the Toxic Family || STEVE HARVEY
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- She feels like her family never loved her, but now they’re using her for money. At what point should she cut them off?
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Just because they are your family don’t mean that they are your friends. My granddad use to tell us this when we were kids.
Yes ma'am, as Lonnie B says, just because you're related doesn't mean you're family!
Powerful message. Also, beware who you let in your inner circle as well.
I’m happy that I finally realized that! Thanks for sharing ❤️ appreciate everyone sharing their kind words and advice
Sad to say that I feel that way about my dad's sister
I love that saying.
My god the sadness in her eyes. She's so beautiful and seems so kind, she doesn't deserve that
Michael Gambale
😓 She doesn't.
4/29/19
Thank you for that kind word..❤️ appreciate it
@@victoriavanna222 stay strong...
@@victoriavanna222love yourself first and create your own happiness whiles alone and then you can move out and find those friends your loving and joyous soul will attract. Otherwise you'll always try to find that happiness and approval from those "friends" ( who are hard to find anyways cuz they can also fake their love for you just for what they'll get from you)
@@victoriavanna222 praying for you young sister. Focus on yourself and finding joy in knowing, loving and trusting yourself and friends will come. Get involved in the things you love to do, and meet other people, find a church home maybe. There are good and bad people everywhere but unlike family, you get to choose your friends. Keep your head (and eyes) up babydoll. People take advantage of us because we allow it. Trust me, I know....
Toxic family members are the worse Leave them. No contact works.
You're so right. ❤️ It's just hard though. You still think about them and want to talk to them, but you know that you just can't do it. ❤️💔😔 One foot in front of the other I guess and you have to try to stop hoping that they change. Instead, you decide to change by not interacting with them anymore and just bettering yourself and focusing on you. ❤️
@@tansley67 Keep strong believe in yourself ❤
That is so true
Yup
@@tondaniraluswinga2590 listen!!!! You ain’t never lie
Love them from a distance. Pray for them, wish them well, but don't allow them to abuse you.
My FAVORITE saying is..." I can LOVE you from across the street!"
NOT allowing THAT negative energy nor SPIRIT into MY peaceful life!
In JESUS Name
Amen! 💯
Kimber Waul 👏
That's right. Scripture says love your enemies and pray for those that "despitefully" use you. It's what she should do.
Girl, you'd better preach!!! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Jesus she’s gorgeous. Baby girl remove them From your life and be what god intended you to be.
EXACTLY!! And therein lies the problem!! They are jealous of her. Plain and simple. Move the FU#K ON!!!
Awe thank you so much... ❤️ I really appreciate your words!
@@victoriavanna222 You're a beautiful woman . You need to learn how to read people. You need to stay away from jealous people. If you need to move do so.
Not Me But You ah quick question what’s ya gram because dam girl you are cute no lie
I can’t stand when toxic family members try to gaslight you into thinking that it’s bad to cut them off.
Friends are the family YOU choose! Just choose well, and true!
They’re jealous cause she’s beautiful. That’s just life. Humans can be so ugly sometimes that the ones you love the most would only love to see you fall. It’s a cruel world.
Omg so true!!! They’re greeeeen with envy that she soaked up ALL the gorgeous genes! True case of the ugly duckling! She’s a swan 🦢 and she needs to find other swans!
I cut my toxic family off abt 2 years ago. Best decision I ever made.
In your immediate or extended family?
Good for you!
@@amplifiedbible07 Immediate. Mom, siblings, and dad. It was hard at first but I had to realize I dont need disfunction to function. I'm not like them. They have sabotaged every area of my life. The unnecessary drama is what has made it easy for me to stay away. There's nothing like having a piece of mind. I cant change nobody but myself. I will eventually talk to them again. I have forgiven them but not ready to deal with all the drama. Im soooooo at peace now. I've been through a lot. I will write a book oneday when more chapters will be completed all the obstacles I have overcome.
Same here, also best decision I’ve ever made for myself! Stay strong and keep doing whats best for you 🙏🏼
Yes indeed... same here it was the best decision I have made wish I had done it sooner.
This was for me, Thank you uncle Steve
Same
rnchell718 do wat y’all gotta do
Great
ME TOO GLORY TO GOD!!!
Same here
Yep even the bible says it in Prov 18:24 some friends stick closer than a brother/family.. cut off ties with your toxic family and find yourself a good friend in need who is a friend indeed. You are a beautiful lady and you deserve better. Take CARE of your SELF..
Tosinger Actress & Singer I’m getting ready to do this because i am so over all the mess and the back and forth. I just want peace!
Your last five words are powerful!
Amen
That friend that sticks closer than a brother would be JESUS
Tosinger Actress & Singer I agree!
I am dealing with this today, with my own mother. It's so painful for a young man like me with no father in my life to think about losing my mother as well. However, we can't sacrifice our happiness forever. Cut the bad fruit off. We can always turn to God.
Same here! Toxic mom! not worth it, my mom will never change! Life is short and you gotto make sure your good! Nobody else is going to do it!
Amen
Me too
absolute truth God won't disappoint us no matter what
Same here bro. They turn on you and to me that’s the worst betrayal
Aww, she was about to cry😣 Girl, I know this all too well. I cut mine off years ago. Mother, father, siblings included 🤷🤷🤷 I made my own family my husband and children are all the family I need.
Same here. Four years and counting. Amen
You cut of your MOTHER? Would you be happy your kids you love so much cut you of when they are all grown, cause kids treat the parent's the same way they see the parents treat the grand parent.
Exactly what i plan to do, make my own family!
I was thinking it u just said it🤷🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
@@monicalabelle953 She might mean mother in-law
That’s the message my beautiful people. Sometimes you have to cut your losses. In order to BE a winner you need to SURROUND YOURSELF with winners ❤️
-Josh Otusanya
Powerful message. Wow.
Michela Rosier powerful message indeed :)
Deep
I’m literally going through this right now, it’s so hard. They even have the nerve to get more disrespectful when you put up boundaries. But I’m tired of being disrespected by my own family.
"Family is not determined by blood but by who you fight for and who will fight for you."-Marcel Gerard. A hard lesson to accept but so worth it.
This girl is me. I’m balling tears watching it because enough is enough! Today, I was truly reminded on how I’m just dollar signs to everyone.
Beautiful woman. I was fighting about this exactly today. My own mother and siblings have done this to me.
But don't forget this, Jesus Christ is the Father to the Fatherless.
God will bless you with His love and Grace and your OWN family. God bless you Mama.
Keeper Of The Reaper It’s unfair but the world responds better to attractive people. I agree with you, though, that her looks have nothing to do with the question she asked.
Thank you so much for this ❤️ I’m the girl in the video. I really appreciate this. God bless you also
@Keeper Of The Reaper I actually meant beautiful on the inside for always trying to connect with her family.not physically.
@@warmcozy I was referring to her inner beauty because she is fighting to connect with her family. You assumed I mean her exterior/physical appearance.
@human being Amen. God bless you.
8 years and counting. The best decision Ive ever made.
Do you love them from a distance or did you completely cut them off for good like no contact no nothin ??
The lesson will continue to repeat itself until the lesson is learned
Yes, indeed.
This is true!
You're right on target with toxicity in families. I was never good enough, smart enough, rich enough. I helped take care of sick parents on my own but was never right about decisions. I cut myself off from both siblings and my only son. Yes it hurts, yes it's hard, it cost 16 years, 3 cars and over $32,800. That's just the cash I spent don't count financial ruin. My apologies for dumping, but the advice you gave Toxic Family was spot on.
@Beverly High, no need for any apologies. Vent as much as long as you want. Who cares. What you gone tru and endured can help or teach others
I too know the pain
@@carshathomas1115 Thank you, it's amazing how good life is without toxic people and such
Sorry for what you have been through. You deserve happiness and peace in your life. May God bless you
And a person's enemies will be those of his own household.- Mathew 10:36
Family or not I will cut you off. That saying “but that’s family” means nothing if family is toxic and means you no good
Agree
I was in this exact situation. I've now moved in my own space and I never jump anymore when they scream for help. 6 months later and its getting better because now they know that I wont be moved by their manipulations. I've really cut my loses. It took me a long time but am done and happy for it.
I started crying while watching it. I sort of relate to her. It's a struggle to face toxic family members and you have to cut them loose. But as soon as i overcome it, i have never felt great than this before. You just need to know when to finally walk away.
You can see the hurt and pain in her face, God restore this young blessed lady, let her know that you love her, send your angles of protection from her family that use her, put people in her life that will love and respect her, in Jesus name Amen!
Amen.
Thank you so much for this. This brought tears to my eyes. I’m the girl in the video. I receive this prayer. Amen. God bless you also
Amen.
Victoria Vanna Keep your head up Sis, God got you!
@@victoriavanna222 Sometimes when you grow and rise up above the negativity, those that stay in the lower energies don't have the blessing of growing with you. You are blessed with divine grace and courage to move ahead to a beautiful life with a positive future with positive people. You can pray for and love your family from afar. God bless you in all that you do.
Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm!!!
They are people out there who will give you the love, kindness,support and happiness you deserve in life. Some won't be family , but you will still get it.
Wow you can see the hurt in her! I hope she’s finding healing and strength!!! And getting the love she deserves
That was for me too Thank u I needed to hear that.
The amount of people that go through this is just sad to see. It's so sad to see how upset she is, but at the end of the day, she's already gotten past the bs. She should be really proud of herself.
I wish he would make a show to help teens and young adults. He’s like the daddy I never had, I love him!
My family is toxic too. I have accomplished so many goals in life, but my family don't support me. Mr. Steve Harvey, your a true inspiration to me in life. God Bless!
What this young lady is going thru hits close to home for me....stay strong young lady
It hit close to home for me too. Praise God for deliverance.
GREAT advice, Steve. My heart goes out to this kind, generous woman, who needs to surround herself with deserving, loving people. Family who takes advantage of her don't deserve her. Period.
I can relate with her so much. And it’s hard to let family go because they’re your blood. I’m compensate with gifts and money over the years to make up for lost time or just to make them happy or just for favors. When do I cut them off? I guess now...It’s so hard to walk away but some of my closest family have hurt me so bad. And I’m happy to watch the clip to remind myself that I’m not the only one out there that is goin through this.
Sounds like that young girl is reliving my lifestory. At age 46 i'm finally done with toxic relatives including my father who tries to put me down every chance he gets and now he wonders why i stopped calling him.
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.....
Thank you so much for writing the FULL saying. Many people (including some of my family members) always say "blood is thicker than water", meaning that family is above all. But the full saying means the opposite! It's funny how life works sometimes...
I absolutely have no problem cutting people off in my life! Whether it’s friends or family. Life is way too short! ✌🏾
2021 and I see myself in her eyes, what a timely video for me. I hope she's out here in the world doing great things. God bless her.
Thank you❤
She sounds like such a sweetheart. I'm tired of the stigma that oh they're family and that they are all you have. Toxic is toxic, I cut off a family member and she started acting right once she realized I was going to do life without her. Stick to your guns, chin up.
The most important relationship in your life is the one you have with YOURSELF & YOUR HIGHER POWER(if you believe in it) All relationships reflect what you think about yourself. Very likely she does not feel worthy, validated, accepted, and appreciated by herself. We look for people on the outside of us to make us feel happy, validated, accepted, appreciated, loved ect. and fill what’s essentially a void inside us but it’s really not their job to do these things. It’s our job to do these things to ourselves. We are the only ones who can can control our own emotions, no one else can make you feel anything you don’t want to feel. She doesn’t need anyone on the outside, she needs to be her own friend, truly LOVE HERSELF FIRST and TAKE HER POWER BACK.💖
Thank you, Mr. Harvey. This helped bring healing to my heart. It was very hard to walk away from my family. God sets the lonely in families. I guarantee you when you remove those toxic family members, God will send you new people and they will be your family.
Hope she finds a friend in Jesus Christ and surrounds herself with positive people who truly care about her.
I can see her fear and pain in her eyes... im in the exact situation as her... she almost cried... family can hurt you more than friends do... i really believe that.
Yes, it can affect your psychology. There are studies showing how being ostracized can effect a person psychologically. Not to mention self-esteem.
MAN LISTEN I NEEDED THIS WORD STEVE LET HIM USE YOU THIS HAS SPOKEN TO MY SOUL OMG YOU HAVE KNOW IDEA WHAT THIS JUST DID FOR ME!!!! I WANNA CRY I SO NEEDED THESE WORDS THANK YOU GOD!!
Ms. Renee 😎
SWEETIE....DON'T ALOUD NOBODY PUT NO GULIT ON YOU...
SOME PEOPLE WE HAVE TOO LOVE FROM A DISTANCE DO YOU STARTING WITH FAMILY!! 💃💕🏃
@@phillipswatson3452 Thank You So Much!! I receive this because they have tried! BUT GOD! 💜🙏
Ms. Renee 😎
SWEETIE: I FELT YOUR HEARTFELT MESSAGE💕KNOW YOUR SELFWORTH & SELFLOVE...PARTY IS OVER DO YOU BABYGIRL YOU CAN'T HEAL THE WORLD DON'T LET NOBODY BLOCK YOUR BLESSING PRETTY GIRL YOU LOOK LIKE YOU CAN BE MY DAUGHTER😝LOL😜
BLESSINGS FROM: NEW YORK, N.Y.
"CHEERS"
🍹💋🍹
CAN YOU SHARE WHERE YOU FROM??
this was for me... ❤️ so glad this reality was brought to light. i will save this video as a reminder when i’m feeling anxious and depressed about my own toxic family members
Steve is speaking such wisdom...
Thank you!!! Steve! I've had to cut my toxic family member out of my life too!!!
I think about Joseph in the Bible as soon as I hear this. If God wants them back in your life, He will humble them to you at a later date. Get on with your life, and get over the guilt
💣💣💣
Thank you for sharing that.
Yes!!! Me too!! Joseph popped right in my mind.
♥️♥️♥️
Amen
She reminds me of Cassie Ventura-Fine and Naya Rivera. Very beautiful. It’s hard but I had to let my family go too ;mom, siblings etc.
I know exactly how she feels, and I went through the same thing with my mother siblings.
What I would tell her is...find your tribe. Found people who will love you, support you and be your biggest cheerleaders.
"that does not mean you have to become them" I wish someone had told me that 3 years ago because I've wasted 3 years of my life trying to become like my family, who made me loose ma sanity, and for NOTHING. If they bully you, they resent you for no reason, don't think too much: they are not good people and you don't need them, so cut them off! I still live with the people who made me depressed but I don't speak to them anymore and I know God understands. I am fine with cutting off toxic family members, they can be horrible monsters.
God bless this precious young woman.
I wanted to cry for her! Stay strong!
She is absolutely beautiful and I felt that sadness thru this screen. Lord🥺
I feel for her, I'm going through the same thing. This is confirmation.
You can live in this world without a mother you can live in this world without a father but you can't live in this world without a friend #deep
Yep. I have friends who lost their mothers, friends who lost their fathers, and friends who lost both of their parents. They are strong through it all. I got much respect for my friends who are strong despite the fact that they lost their parents. I check up on them as often as possible to see how they're doing.
'God got you through it' Amen to that 🙏 Girl you're beautiful and you seem like a lovely person, but to be happy, you really NEED to cut those bullies out of your life. Just because you share the same DNA it doesn't mean you should put up with toxic behaviour. I feel the harshest lesson we learn in life is just because family is family it does not mean they wish us well. Growing up my older brothers always warned me that we had some toxic family members and they were 100% right because as I got older I saw for myself EXACTLY what they were talking about. Years ago I cut one of those family members out of my life. She was a toxic bully and she never had a good word to say about anyone. Steve is right sometimes you need to go out into the world and meet people who become your family. I love my family, but the closest person in my life now, besides my parents and brothers, is my husband, he always has my back and he's my best friend. Surround yourself with positive kind people who lift your spirits and I promise you things will get better.
That's my family same way,thanx Steve
Erica Ricks do wat u gotta do
I know it hurts and it’s disappointing to be hurt by those who should be protecting you. God has allowed us the opportunity to break the cycle. We are curse breakers! Focus on building the family you desire to have. Your sanity and mental health is important. Keep taking those steps.
You can tell she is going THROUGH IT!! I feel for her. I will most def. pray for her that God will restore her and help her heal. And that new friends come her way! I also pray that her family will get it 2gether b4 its to late. Cuz once she cuts them off its a wrap!!!
Your friend is JESUS CHRIST he'll NEVER hurt or abuse you.
Nor will He ever forsake you!
Praise God, Amen
Amen
Poor girl was about to cry..so sad!! I can’t imagine my own family doing this to me! I came from a very very close family who i adore ..now i need to appreciate more!!
I’m facing through the same situation like her and I just prayed that whatever circumstances we’re face through, God got us .
This guy is sharp and I am stunned about his spontaneous views on all topics. A natural talent, this gift which he has cannot be acquired, ... a natural wonder of genius .. they don't make these kind anymore ... not in the US and neither over here in Europe. Bravo!
To the young lady in the video.....Everyone doesn’t deserve access to you. Everybody can’t partake of your blessings. With that in mind, issue them toxic family members a benediction: May God watch between you and them while you’re absent one from another. Amen.
You now get to choose those that you will call family. I assure you, as soon as you disconnect, God will replace those unhealthy relationships with healthy ones. I pray your heart be healed and your spirit be comforted in the midst of it all.
Amen!
@Tondani Raluswinga You can go forward and you will. Make the decision to do so in your mind and heart, first. Sometimes, it takes time and repetitive reminders and actions to actually get moving. People will talk about you, regardless of what you do or don’t do. Ask God to shift your circle as needed for you to become all that He wants you to become. He will do it for you.
As far as those that choose to believe what someone else has convinced them of (pertaining to you), let them do so. You can’t make people think differently about you if they’re sold on what they think they already know. My favorite phrase for such people: “it doesn’t matter if you were shown different, your verdict is already in”. Knowing that, you don’t bother to explain anything differently. You focus on being a better you and becoming the best that you can for God and yourself. I pray that your heart be healed and that your focus becomes laser sharp on God and the things He has for you.
Amen
Sometimes it feels like the universe is playing a sick joke it won't let me cut these cruel ppl out of my life 😢
@@tondaniraluswinga2590 I can so relate with u my mother got everyone against me I just want to move on
I can relate 💯 percent..... It's until one of my family did me so wrong after all the good I have done. Is when i made a decision enough is enough. It still hurts me when people ask me how their doing and i simply answer fine..... But to be honest looking back, it was the best decision ever because i kept putting them first, even if it made me unhappy. And well said, Steve. And young lady you are not alone, just surround yourself with positive people
Glad you got out of it! I did the same. Thanks for sharing
She needed 2 hear that...Family or Friends if they're TOXIC exit their lives...I did it Peace is important 2 me
she is so majestically pretty !! mashallah
After I finish watching this video. I decide to walk my own way without family about the past. There is still hardship and difficulty. So. I just get through it. From Thailand
Amen! I choose my family and cut off the rest!!!
She’s gorgeous!
This is exactly what I needed to hear. My family was toxic, I had to cut most of them off years ago. What I find hard is living without them. On tv, holidays everyone talking about their families. I guess its time I just see the truth and move on mentally too 💙
Friends are the family you would choose!💕
Literally going to this rn my parents are so toxic, especially my dad. Always has something to say about everyone even his own kids. Then wonders why no one talks to him. I’m saving up my money and cutting him off. I’m tired .
I've been dealing with toxic family for a while and it's affected me alot as a grown woman which is really hard because they're my family. I always feel scared,drained and anxious whenever they're around. Luckily i have really good friends beside to keep me company and help me alot during tough times. I am extremely grateful to have them beside,they're litterally my sisters so steve is absolutely right, if you have toxic family please surround yourself with good people, that really helps
That’s the same thing as me. I was depressed and suicidal even though I didn’t live with my sisters, I always wondered why they hate me and why their so awful to me. Till I cut off contact and I don’t worry about whether they like me or not anymore and I am doing better now. I’m still scared for the future sometimes but I put God first and know God will always make a way.
Wise words from Steve Harvey.
So many people stay in toxic relationships thinking that there's no way out or hoping that they'll change.
Redirect all of that time and energy towards something & someone more positive!
I hope you’re reading this young lady. Live YOUR life and CUT out the negativity that’s holding you down. It’ll be hard but once you do it, you will see how much you will flourish in life without them! Let go and let God.
I feel sorry for her she looks like such a sweet girl. It struck me what he said about needing friends.
Wow, thank you Lord. I've been wanting to write in and ask this same question.
Omg Steve this just provided so much clarity for me. As I can relate to her situation.
People that come for a different situation / up bring will never understand. And will often judge you as heartless etc. They may feel bad for you and treat you like a pity case. These people you don’t want to be around for the long term. In stead you want a person to respect you decisions and acknowledging you deserve better ( whatever that means for the individual) you don’t get to pick and choose which family your born into. However, you do choose to allow your family to mistreat you. Many people give their family a pass to mistreat them. Which is BS. She just has to accept it and move one. That statement isn’t implying any dismissal to her situation. For her own wellbeing. She must gather the resiliences to move forward in her life.
5 days after the 2021 year started, my sister cursed me out for the last time. I have now cut her off, and I never want to gear from her anymore. I am tired and middle aged, no more for me.
i wish her all happiness, i need an up date for this
This title really spoke to my heart. Thanks for the upload
The intensity of the hurt and the pain is evident in her face. Steve is right tho. The time is now! Not a day longer... and get you a good friend!
Girl you are very strong. I'm in the same boat. Please put yourself first
I'm going through this right now
Krazy8 Right!!
Same here it hurts but we gotta cut them off for the greater good
This segment 💛💛💛! I feel like this about some of my family members as well but struggle to shake them off because the idea "all we have is family" does not escape me. But thanks for this Steve.
I had to do this and man, don’t I feel free!!!💃🏽 When God place you with people who love you, I promise you will never look back.💕💕
this defiantly hit home
walk away from them all of them and do it NOW
She used the word TOXIC (Poison). Anything toxic/poison will kill you. That family is killing her emotionally over and over again. You can't buy love dear. Cut them ALL off now.
God is good enough to create new community of people that she can indeed call family. Family doesn't always mean sharing the same blood line. I say work on forgiveness & move on.
So true thank you for saying this
You don’t get to talk to me any kind of way and then ask me for money. I don’t think so.
Right.
Awww i just wanted to hug her honestly shes so soft hearted. Listen sweety, we came to this earth alone and will be leaving on our own. My friends are my family and I am grateful for it. My parents raise me up to do anything for family and literally kill for family. What did my father's younger brothers and my cousins do ? They Forced us in to poverty ! They Fraud my father our of his property and tried to get us out our house and when my grandfather new they were these kind of people he passed his property down to my father inorder to ensure we would not be homeless one day. They couldnt take kt they were so full of jealiousy and spite They tried to fight us in court saying that fraud was committed. How ironic and we are still fighting them in the loooooong legal system. Trust me life is too short, family criticize you the most and honestly wish you were below them instead of above them they count your failures not your successes although they will mostly be around when your successful to benefit from it. Fix up your crown and stand tall QUEEN! You must be doing somthing right of they hating x
GOD explained to me that we are all family by blood so dont get stuck on the what we think is immediate family. Walk away dont go back and i will give you your family. I will put the people in your life you need if you trust me. He did just that. So don't be afraid. Step out on faith you are set to gain a whole new life.
Andrew Nehemiah thank you for this comment!!!
Yes, thank you!
Thank you
@@cliffnairamusyimi3999
♥️
@@j3npho83
♥️
Well said Steve! It's a hard decision to make, but so very worth it. Thank you for supporting this young lady with your wise words 🙏
Never thought Steve would address this kind of situation. I had made my mind that I'm just going to pick what's helpful for me from his advice because he talked about his family, mother brother as great people. I just respected and understood/concluded he was fortunate to have family that were for his wellbeing, and told myself I'll get tips elsewhere about toxic family.
Anyway Thanks Mr Harvey this was Great and helpful. God bless💖
Ora Mahura 😎
SWEETIE....DON'T FOOL YOURSELF THERE'S NO PERFECT FAMILY....
EVERYBODY HAVE SOME CRA CRA FAMILY/FRIENDS ETC...SOME PEOPLE WE HAVE TOO LOVE FROM A DISTANCE 💃💕🏃