This Is Why Doctors Gaslight You (And What You Can Do)
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- Опубликовано: 27 апр 2024
- In this essential guide, Dr. Anthony Kaveh, an anesthesiologist and integrative medicine specialist, addresses a critical issue many patients face: being dismissed or gaslit by their doctors. Discover the reasons behind such behaviors and learn effective strategies to ensure your concerns are heard and addressed. Dr. Kaveh offers practical tips on identifying the signs of gaslighting, understanding its roots in fear and systemic pressures, and empowering steps to advocate for yourself in medical settings. Whether it's bringing a friend to appointments or asking direct questions to engage your doctor, this video equips you with the knowledge to foster a more supportive doctor-patient relationship.
Timestamps
0:00 - Introduction to Doctor Gaslighting: Personal Experiences and Impact
1:30 - Definitions and Examples of Gaslighting in Medical Practice
2:45 - Reasons Why Doctors Might Dismiss Patients
4:00 - The Emotional Impact of Being Dismissed by Your Doctor
5:15 - Practical Tips: How to Engage a Dismissive Doctor
6:30 - The Role of Systemic Pressures in Healthcare Dynamics
7:45 - Strategies to Enhance Doctor-Patient Communication
9:00 - How to Prepare for Potentially Difficult Appointments
10:15 - The Importance of Advocacy and How to Practice It
11:30 - Closing Remarks and Encouragement to Share Experiences
💛 Learn about Dr. Kaveh's transformational Ketamine clinic: www.clarus-health.com
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This video/speech/channel DOES NOT CONSTITUTE MEDICAL ADVICE. Patients with medical concerns should contact their physician. If your concern is an emergency, immediately call 911. This information is not a recommendation for ANY THERAPY. Some substances referenced in this content may be illegal, and this content is not a recommendation for, or endorsement of, their use in any way.
#HealthcareTips, #DoctorPatientRelationship, #MedicalAdvice
My long-time family doctor passed away at the age of 76 and the clinic replaced him with a young female doctor. I started having symptoms feeling like I was coming down with flu but not actually getting really ill. She did blood tests and told me it was all in my head and or "empty nest syndrome" etc she wanted to put me on anti depressants. I started to believe her (gaslighting will do that). After 5 years of this I had a routine ultrasound for someting else and they found kidney cancer. The specialist told me that judging by the size of the tumour, I'd had this for at least 5 yrs. I had surgery, and changed doctors. Older and wiser, I would never stay with a doctor who thinks they know all and does not listen to me.
OMG! So sorry.
I was crying prior to surgery and the anesthesiologist said "What is the matter with you?" He was so sarcastic and mean about it. I have had many serious surgeries and this was the first time I was really scared and didn't know why. After surgery they almost reintubated me because I could not breathe. Luckily, everything was okay. I will never forget that man and would certainly never let him put me under again.
The moral of the story is to be an anesthesiologist so the patient is asleep for 95% of the time.
That’s a good day at work.
Goodness, how dare that second doctor dismiss you with ‘it’s empty nest syndrome’! What an arrogant attitude!
So sorry! I am an RN and go to older, 45 years or older, experienced doctors with very good results.
Not to mention the amount of people who are left to suffer in horrible ERs bc doctors think EVERYONE IS looking for drugs. So tired of this
Yup the so-called "opioid crisis" supercedes treating someone's pain effectively.
@@jennywrenn469 You said it perfectly!! I've been suffering with a weird illness comes out of nowhere and I'm in the worst abdominal pain and nausea so bad there are no words....it's caused me to have 4 small heart attacks....and IM STILL DELIBERATELY IGNORED!! Bc 25 yrs ago I was addicted...twenty five damn YRS AGO.. but Im left to writhe in agony
@@roseannemeyer5014 It used to be that it is better to give drugs to someone that doesn't need it than to with hold it from someone who does.
EXACTLY!!! I worked in a NY ED for 10 yrs...we saw TONS of drug seekers...many were so obvious they were asked to leave...HOWEVER... When a patient has a blood pressure of 210/121 you MEDICATE THEM!!! there are a few ways to tell a person is embellishing pain, their BP just one of them. But 10's of thousands of people are being "morally punished" whether they did anything or not. And yes, pain is SUBJECTIVE sometimes.....you can see a broken limb but not an ovarian cyst or bad appendix.....I'd rather DIE at home then beg them for help
@@jennywrenn469 opioid Chris is my butt…..LOOOONNGGG OVER….but they are still getting to decide who is treated humanely
The bad part of gaslighting is that it causes the patient to doubt their inner wisdom. The worst part about gaslighting is patients continue to suffer and even get worse and lose their window to catch things early, which is what we're always told to do - catch things early. See something, say something. If you must, change doctors. Don't let them invalidate you.
This happened to me
NEVER LET THEM doubt yourself!!! You know if something is wrong...When Dr.s gaslight, it's bc they are AFRAID or they know YOU'RE not stupid.....it's SO OBVIOUS once you see them do it
@@kaypendergast5676 Me, too! So sorry. :(
It happened to me. My GP sent me to a specialist for my constant diarrhea that I couldn't control. I answered all of his questions. He asked me if I was vomiting also. I said yes occasionally. He examined me, turned to his paperwork and walked out of the room without a word. There I was still lying on the table not knowing if he was going to come back or not. He didn't come back. I guess when he left my room he told the nurse to print out some info for me on incontinence. He never spoke to me about my problem nor did the nurse get me the printout. I didn't know what the heck was going on. I never had ever been treated like that in all of my life by a doctor. He just left the room with no word about my problem. I told my GP what he did and she had little comment on it except that she was very surprised at his rudeness. A SPECIALIST!!! But they filed my insurance for payment!!
Contact your insurance company and let them know what happened that they didn’t treat you or anything and tell them to refuse to pay and also called the medical board association and submit a complaint and follow up on it
He didn't treat you. You confront him once, and if you don't get satisfaction, you report him to the insurance AND the medical board for fraud.
I was gaslighted when I had a herniated disc. I was downplayed like I was looking for drugs. And young man like me was too healthy for a herniated disc. Dealt with it for years. Finally one day after a workout it "slipped" again. I finally went to a spine surgeon and got an MRI. After he got the results he cleared his schedule and got me in the OR within 1 week. I'm glad he had a heart and a brain!
i've got a severe neck issue that's finally been mri'd about, but it took a severe heroin addiction before any one would listen to me.
also i'm hella glad you got that sorted!!! it aint fun!!!
Same, herniated disc, the hospital system is so backed up, had to go to physio first to see if it “helped” I went twice a week for a few years , was gaslighted when I helped them to be a patient for a physio to be assessed by a group of drs. I was told it was all in my head, since then I have had two spinal surgeries my spine. Long story put very simply. Needless to say I refused any further physio !!!
Me too. A doc flat out called me a drug seeker numerous times and told me my kidney scan was just fine as he expected ..turns out I had kidney cancer smh
@@jn1211I always said heroin didn't cause the opioid epidemic, the CDC guidelines did!!
I joined my mother for a doctor visit. She was having weakness- extreme weakness. And other symptoms. Excluding falling and unable to get up. I explained this to the doctor and asked for tests. I asked specifically for a cancer screening. He shook his head and said he’d do one test and wanted to hear nothing more about it. I found her a new doctor asap. Btw, my mother did have cancer ( multiple myeloma) and passed away in under 4 moths later. It was found too late to treat. I have a hard time trusting doctors ever since.
I can't tell you how common this is, tragic. I have heard many stories similar to yours, and have had a couple of friends pass away because of horrible medical care. I agree with you, I don't trust doctors.
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom and that awful man calling himself a "doctor". I'm sure she was grateful for you. 🙏🏻 A dear friend of mine just lost her 54 year old son to the same disease as your mom. He endured so much pain. 😢 And left behind a wife of twelve years and two step children.
@@Cat-qo3ht Thank you for your kind words. Taking care of my mom was my honor and blessing. Growing up she taught me how to live. In the end, she taught me how to die. I love her so much and carry her in my heart always. I am so sorry to hear about your friends loss. He was so young. My prayers are with them as they go through this time of sorrow.
I'm sorry for your loss, and what you both went through.
What do you call a medical student that graduated with a low "C" average? Doctor.
Someone told us that anecdote nearly 20 years ago. My adult son was experiencing a uninterested doctor. My son looked him in the eyes and asked, "Did you graduate with a C average?" That doctor went on to call my son a week later and apologized. He also did find out what was going on with my son's knee. And did the surgery to repair the damage. Damage that the Dr swore didn't exist at first.
I had many doctors over 20 years tell me my symptoms were from anxiety.
Finally a nurse practioner ran blood tests and I was finally diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. Now I'm finally being treated and feeling better.
I was having horrendous painful periods (massive amounts of bleeding) and horrible cramps for years, and I had a female OB/GYN doctor tell me “everybody thinks they have bad periods; and “our body just forgets how to have a period in our mid 40’s” She never offered any tests or ultrasounds. I finally switched doctors and begged for an ultrasound and found out I have a bad case of adenomyosis AND numerous large fibroids inside my uterus and pressing on my bladder causing urinary incontinence. CHANGE DOCTORS AND NEVER STOP ADVOCATING FOR YOURSELF!!
When I was a teenager, I had an old male Doctor tell me that my SEVERE menstrual cramps were “all in my head”….😡. It turned out I had a problem that just got worse every month and it required a hysterectomy. He was an incompetent ass.
I cut down on eating fiber my menstrual cramps vary with how much fiber I eat
@@Greencloud8 Please, don't. She had organs removed for a reason. Please, do not unvalidate her need for surgery with some bs dietary advice.
Bottom line: If there's mutual respect and a certain willingness to feel empathy, I can get along with just about anybody. But without those 2 things, communication is difficult if not impossible. I want my doctor to be a collaborator with me in managing my healthcare, not an adversary who wants to argue with me or dismiss my experience.
2 CT scans no results, still in off on pain lower right abdomen and back. What's next. Not sure I want more CT's.
YES! This is happening more and more in the medical field. 🤬 It's happened to me. Do realize how scary it is for us going into surgery? 😨
Hey there, I think we All WANT that with our Drs. Getting it, now that's a whole other issue. Be well.
Exactly! You are so right and said it so well.
I couldn't agree with you more. Years ago, I actually fired one doctor because he was so disrespectful to me. I simply won't tolerate it anymore. Respect has to come from both sides.
I recently had this experience. Thank you for bringing some attention to the problem of medical gaslighting. I have had 14 brain surgeries, each of them for very necessary treatment, and I never second-guessed the necessity of the treatment. I’ve worked in the medical field for 30 years, 16 of that in neurosurgery. I knew what I was getting into, and why these surgeries were needed. But, recently I had to see a new neurologist. Imagine how disgusted I was when he chose to completely negate the necessity of 14 brain surgeries (over the last17 years) by telling me he really doesn’t think the surgeries were necessary and it’s his belief I just have fibromyalgia! He then proceeded to tell me he’s treated patients with gunshot wounds to the head that didn’t present with the symptoms I have, so he thinks my symptoms are fibromyalgia related. This is a perfect example of a doctor who is scared (I believe my case is outside of his skill set, but he’s not going to admit that), so he chose to discredit the 17 years of hard work my neurosurgeon and I have put in to treating my conditions. It’s time doctors start putting the ‘CARE’ back into ‘patient care’!
Thats ironic...I went to a neurologist after having a mini stroke coming off of meds ( that were making things worse btw ) for fibromyalgia and Reynauds. He told me I was fine, there was no such thing as Fibromyalgia and I was just depressed.
I went to the the ER on three occasions, within two weeks. I was told all the pain was in my head. I was septic from Diverticulitis. Ended up having my large intestine removed, had more complications, was still told it was in my head. Yet, I still had an ileostomy bag for a year. Your videos have helped me start to take control of my medical life. Thank you.
What the heck? Please tell me you reported those in the ER? I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
The pain from diverticulitis will make a grown man cry.
I HAD THIS SAME THING HAPPEN TO ME THIS LAST WEEKEND,IN SATURDAY I HAD MY ROOMATE WITH ME AND WE ARE N OUR 60S THE er DR SAID I HA ALOT IF CALCIUN I DI HAVE HYERCACIMIA SINCE IM A REDHEAD IM GING TO fLORIDA TO THE PARATHYROID CENTER JUST BUILT DUE TO COVID,HE BEST DR IB US HES ON UTUBE TALKING ABOUT WHS=AT THIS KITTLE TUMOR DOES,WEL IVE SHRUNK MINE BUT I CANT WAIT MUCH LONGER ITS PUTTING CALCIUM N MY BLOOD NOT MY BONES,IVE NEVER HESLED FROM S FBS 6 YRS AGO AND TODAY THEY FINALLY DISGNOSED ME .....ANASTETIC AMNESIA,,THEYVE RUIND MY LIFE AND KEPT MY MDICATED HEAVE ON MORPHINE I DIDNT WAKE UP FOR THE 4 DAYS MEDICAID PAYS FOR,NOONE LOOKED AT ME OTHER THAN TIEING ME DOWN BEFORE ND AFTER THIS SURGEY,NOW I HAVE PTSD FROM THE HOSPITAL WONT GO TO SLEEP I HAVE HAD A SURGERY IN 3008 FROM A RAPE THEY CAUTERIZED MY UTERUS,ANOTHER TRAUMA THING,WHAT CAN I DO?MY NEW CT SCAN SHOWS MY OTHER DISCS R HERNIATED A\IVE GOT HARDWARE THATS MADE ME FEEL SICK SIBCE THE DAY THEY DID IT I CANT GO 8 HRS WITHOUT MES AND IM LUCKY TOH AVE THOSE,U R RIGHT WE WILL GO TO THE STREET FOR CHRONIC PAIN,OR GO TO YR LOCAL DISPENSERY ITS CALLED RSO,RICK SIMPSON OIL,GOOGLE IT HE WAS A SCIENTIST,ACTUALLY NOTHINGS WORKING ANYMORE ,NO WHT I CABT AVE SURGERY I HALLUCINATED I HAD TO BE TIE DOWN,MY SI JOINYS R OUT,MY SCIATIC NERVE NEEDS TO B ABLAZED,HELP
What were your symptoms of diverticulitis? If you don't mind me asking.
You need a lawyer.
I work in a medical field and have an advanced degree, and I'm currently fighting medical gaslighting and incorrect documentation. Guess what my grad school research was on? Patient-Physician communucation, safety, and satisfaction while using the EMR. It can happen to anyone.
It happens more to people who are educated. Gaslighting from doctors is because they need to flex their power over you, to take you down a notch, and be sure you know your place. People don't become doctors because they are humble.
The struggle is real. Keep advocating for yourself! ♥️🙏💞
I to work in the medical field and I agree that’s why I left .. orthopedic surgeon think there shit don’t smell
I do hope that you can make an impact.
@@Sportsmom19Dealing with that right now. My mom had steroid and hyaluronic injections in both knees recently. Doctor didn't use an ultrasound device while administering the injections and my mom has been dealing with severe pain ever since. Multitudes worse than what her knee pain was to begin with.
My husband is a Vietnam Veteran. I was 21, pregnant for the first time, seeing a military doctor. I described to him what some of my problems were, especially morning sickness that sometimes lasted all day. He said to me, "What do you expect? You are pregnant." That response kept me from sharing medical problems with doctors for years.
Came here to say that military doctors have, in my experience, been the worst offenders of gaslighting and having god complexes.
🥲🥲
Thank god or whatever, that it was Not psychosis after birth.
My mum Had 1 year Depression after I was Born. No one could Help her and she was full of guiltyness because she can't really love me Like she "had to Love me" and Sometimes she described it as "You was Like a puppet for me. There was darkness and the Things I Had to do for you. But I was Like a Robot. If you cry and your aunt holding you, you was quiet in 3 seconds, but If I hold you, you screamed".
I Sometimes think about it.... Because I'm genetic mentally ill, but maybe this is one reason it is that worse. But she Had No guilt, I know how Depression can be. Thank god she could Take Care of me. After 1 year Things getting better without a reason.
Why wouldn't a doctor just say we have to weight on more test or you'll need some test so I can find out and tell you more
that is a very blunt way to put such big news. but I wouldn't call it gaslighting. he told you the correct diagnosis. just in a terrible way.
*edit -Wait, I may have not read it right.. Did you know you were pregnant? if so then yeah, that's gaslighting.
I've had a psychiatrist gaslight me. I found another the next day. Good decision on my part. Thank you for what you do; you are very informative.❤
I'm glad you're speaking out about this. I was dismissed and ignored and shut down by four different COnsultants and at least five GP's, I lost count and I've lost all confidence in them, I will never bother to go to them again. Their own test results ignored, going around and around in circles. I lost my business over it, was left to suffer and beg and plead for help. Eighteen months later discovered I have a systemic health condition that was damaging my whole body. As a health care professional myself I'm appalled and disgusted, this is not practising medicine or science - it's harmful and guessing not diagnosing. And YES, I AGREE - it is the SYSTEM that's the problem not the individual doctors... but that doesn't change the reality for patients...
Carnivore diet will improve your health
Yes Amanda, but some doctor's , are , jackass's ! The worse thing one human being can do to another is attempt to discredit their will to know their self worth 😔 you are worth love and care ❤️ BB from somewhere in Louisiana 👍👍👍👍🤠
My worst and most damaging experience was fall 2022. I had a double mastectomy with 4 drains and an expander placed. I the weeks that followed I developed malaise. I had had sepsis in 2014, so I knew what it felt like. About 10 days post -op, I started telling my plastic surgeon, my breast surgeon and my primary care, to please run blood cultures for sepsis. I didn't have a super high fever, but I felt awful and had other symptoms. I asked a least 6-7 times over a 3 week period. I was ignored and even mocked. Approximately 24 days post-op, I woke up in the middle of the night with a fever of 102.8, tachycardia, vomiting relentlessly, disorientation and felt like I was dying. EMS came and I spent 13 hours in the ER and then had surgery to remove my expander. Six days in the hospital on all kinds of intravenous antibiotics. Blew out several veins, no reconstruction and more opioids as needed. I have to wait until spring 24 to see another plastics guy. I wrote a lengthy and detailed grievance , which was largely ignored. I then wrote a "whistle blower" report and was lied to. Critical communications were pulled from my record, though I managed to obtain them from a third party records source. I'm currently trying to find an attorney, but so far I've been unsuccessful. I had an "aty[pical" presentation of sepsis. My doctors seemed as though they had no knowledge of this type of occurrence, though it can hardly be called rare. US docs need to understand sepsis in all of it morphisms. Ii am still suffering the after effects of sepsis.
I am so very sorry! Praying you find a good attorney and most of all for better health for you. Hugs.
Consider sending your grievance to your health insurance company. They will look for breaches of contract they have with the related medical facilities and providers. They won't be able to tell you what they did or their results of the investigation, but they do take such things seriously. This is what I did when a mental health branch of a hospital refused to fill a prescribed prescription (they said the pharmacy didn't carry it). They also didn't ask a doctor for a substitute. The entire branch shut down in two years because of the fines. I heard about it when I went back a year later how everyone was fired and new people were in their place. Apparently, the "investigation" revealed a ton of other things they were doing wrong, far beyond my one grievance. Good luck.
I’m sorry you went through this, I really hope you get to a lawyer
@@danielkaiser8971that's a good point, if they've done it to you, they've likely done it to to others.
😢
My entire life has been gaslighted by nearly everyone and in every situation. I’m tired of nothing going right.
Same. Gaslit my whole life by my narcissistic/dysfunctional family, now I’m having health problems (because of the trauma) and being gaslit by doctors.
Same. Same with me.
Me too.
Same with me. Thousands and thousands spent with still no cure, no answers, but they got their money.
@@Askalott Me too. But you have to stay the course, stay calm and fight back.
After 30 + years as a female military dependent, I was so mistreated by gaslighting military doctors. Now at 75 years old I suffer from the many of misdiagnoses I had from that system. I sure I’m not the only one. Thank you for this video. It gives me hope others will listen to your message.
I'm sorry that happened to you. When
I was in the army I really had good luck with doctors, I guess. Not always as a civilian though.
What does being a female have to do with anything?
@@johnclaybaugh9536Women's problems are more often dismissed by doctors. There has been systemic discrimination with women being excluded from studies for conditions affecting both sexes.
While this is anecdotal, a gastroenterologist recently told me that he would not order any imaging until I had a hysterectomy since it would be wasteful. My current gastroenterologist is now ordering physical therapy for a weak anal sphincter, something the previous gastroenterologist did not even examine.
I was advised to have a major abdominal surgery requiring a hospital stay BEFORE this gastroenterologist actually examined me. The uterine fibroid had shrunk during the time my intestinal symptoms worsened, based on the imaging my current gynecologist has ordered.
They do not routinely remove men's sexual organs for benign conditions, but it is still common to do this to women.
My current GI doctor attempted to explain the previous doctors reasoning, but he had to admit that he has never heard of a uterus causing my symptoms.
Your 75 so they must have done a half way decent job.
@JeffSpehar-ov1cn that's not necessarily true ar all.
I've been an ER nurse for 25 years. There's an art to communicating with an MD because most don't actually have any people/ communication skills.
Many years ago, when I was young, I went to the doctor for stomach pain. I related it to a stressful job, a new marriage, moving to a new city, etc. He did a cursory exam and asked me a few questions and then he said to me "So, Mrs. K, how many times a day do you go running to the ladies room in tears?" I was instantly irate, but lacked the self-confidence to confront him with this utterly, snarky chauvanistic question. I have been waiting all these years to use the response I developed that day. I should have walked away and reported him.
Why? U already told him why u had pain. He thought u had gut problem like colitis
@@suehuber7722or type 1 diabetes
BTW, I am not trying to be insensitive to your emotional distress. But I myself have been unable to be truthful about something very embarrassing to a doctor I couldn't trust.
@suehuber7722 He didn't mean running to the bathroom to use it he said "running to the bathroom in tears" meaning she's over emotional
@@realcanadiangirl64 my brain parsed the text wrong 😓
@@suehuber7722strange. I was diagnosed with diverticulitis, had a massive surgery after I spoke to a friend about what was going on. I didn’t ever have a pain. I had a small strange feeling in my gut, instincts told me I had to go to hospital soon. After over an hour’s worth of questions, I was in a room. Dr told me when he said surgery, I told him I had to discuss with another person that I trusted implicitly. He looked at me like I was crazy. I told him I didn’t have a fear of dying, and I was taking appropriate action on my part. 6 months later, diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. That was crazy pain, eventually got through it. I may be wrong but I think it has more to do with the person. Idk.
Doctors should always listen no matter what, because if a doctor gets it wrong its the patient that suffers. My story is devastating i was let down by so many people over and over again. My neurosurgeon cried with me when i finally was diagnosed. He told me this should have never happened to you. I am so so sorry. He even came into hospital on his day off work at 5am before he went hiking to see if there was anything else he could do for me. He is my hero and i am so grateful for his help he tried everything.
Reminds me of my neurologist... he did not cry but the look on his face when i told my story was devastating. He diagnosed me with JUVENILE myoclonic epilepsy at the age of 38, if that tells you how long i was suffering and gaslit and misdiagnosed.
There are good ones out there.
@@AliciaGuitar I am so sorry I totally understand how you feel. My heart goes out to you. You take care
@@user-km6op9jb4c There are, but if you have to see fifteen of them to get the good one, your insurance company will never, ever support you.
Not a surgeon but a GP (I'm in the UK I think in USA he would be a family doctor) I went to him with what was a very embarrassing problem & he had trouble keeping a straight face he found it so funny, I suffered it for about 7 years never told another Dr about it. After it had thankfully gone away on its own & due to other symptoms I found out my hilarious illness was a symptom although a rare one of multiple sclerosis. I later found out what I had gone to my GP with even has names PGAD & CSA it was living hell & I contemplated all methods of ending it but survived it. That doctor almost threw me out so he could have a good laugh, I'm sure if I had been a man with priapism I would of been treated far better. It was a relief to find out after that & other illnesses had been brushed off that I wasn't mad or a hypochondriac & that they were all symptoms of MS yes it was a relief to know I had a severe progressive debilitating illness & I wasn't mad. I still want to confront that doctor but I'm sure he would deny his actions & reactions. I hope this comment helps someone.
I was awake during a surgery where the doKtor kept screaming at me to close my eyes. I was given something that paralyzed me but I could feel everything. I couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't run, or fight back. His partner came in and apologized for what happened, saying it wasn't done correctly. BUT when it came to filing a grievance he lied along with the doktor who injured me. Sherman Sizemore committed suicide and I totally understand why. PTSD.
I hope you are doing ok now and have gotten help for what sounds like a terrible situation. ❤️🩹
The doctor ended it?
Unbelievable It's hard to read that is so messed up.I hope somehow you can hold the hospital accountable for pain and suffering, so you can get some justice for their negligence and heal from the nightmare possibly.🥰
Just curious.....did your dr stop all vitamins that you take 10 days in advance of surgury as they can interfer with the anesthetic ?
I have severe anxiety around the entire medical community. After a severe whiplash I started suffering from headaches so severe that I thought my head was going to explode. I'd frequently have to go to ER for a shot of morphine because it was so bad. I had all of the tests which didn't show anything sinister. Many times when I'd go ER the doctor and or nurses would accuse me of being a drug seeker. I finally found a doctor who said that I had pinched occipital nerves in the base of my neck and referred me to a neurosurgeon. He booked me for three separate occipital neurectomies which severed the pinched nerves. My headaches left and now I rarely ever have one!
Just goes to show what an impact a good doctor can have. ❤️
I'm actually happy for you! Thank God you're fine now
You're a good person and physician. Nurse for over 30 years and you speak the truth, Sadly, the system we have right now has spooked a lot of medical professionals across the board as well as physicians. Thank you for speaking out.
They totally skip empathy it seems like in medical school.
I’ve seen it in 90-95% of my lifelong experience as a chronic pain patient.
Especially the ones right out of school.
Drs who have it consistently are very rare.
I had to travel 2hrs to big city to see specialist before I finally, finally got help from crippling chronic pain.
Was put on every anti depressant in existence even lithium.
Took me 10 years of suffering than 10 more to get diagnosed.
Was even SA’d along the way 3 times!!
2 of those Drs, one a psychiatrist teaching me biofeedback, ended up committing suicide later after they got caught, knew what awaited them in prison.
Other married couple of Drs who got off on ordering you to strip and conducted their exams that way, fled to Hawaii.
They’d had a history of fleeing state to state.
I was young and had already been abused as a child for years.
Soo wish I could try ketamine treatments.
Approached my Dr about it and she totally flipped out.
Wouldn’t even listen to protocol.
I soo appreciate this man’s honesty and compassion!!
@@Suzanne300 What is SA’d?
I don’t believe these people anymore….. I have stopped going altogether and all I expect now is a renewal of my regular prescriptions. Yes, it’s wrong to give up…. It’s hard to get out of the feedback loop of gaslighting doctors and Medicaid denial of services
@@brandillysmom
S3xually abused. Doesn’t have to mean through penetration.
Happened with 3 Drs when I was in my twenties.
Two were finally caught and committed suicide to escape prison and the other married couple of Drs escaped to another state, they’d apparently been doing that over and over but still got away with it somehow.
Pedos more often than not always do.
I’m 59 now. Things have changed some, Thank the Lord, at least in medicine they have to have a nurse in there with you.
But overall the generational SA and the punishments haven’t made any impact.
@@brandillysmom
Being disabled 1/2 my life now, experiencing symptoms from age 17, I can say I’ve been there.
They took away an extra 20mgs twice a day and I have zero quality of life now.
The DEA put so many good, empathetic Drs out of business in their witch hunt and keep the ones who are still around in a state of constant fear.
I’m bedridden now and because of this, now have heart problems and arthritis and pre diabetes.
I know this is as good as it gets here on and there’s many days I wish it would all end.
Started with bad case of Fibromyalgia.
95% of Drs still don’t believe in it and still say it’s “all in your head”
Going to the hospital is soo bad, I’d rather take my chances and tough it out at home.
But if I don’t go as Dr orders, then Medicare gets involved and that’s the worst case scenario.
In the 25 years I’ve been disabled with FMS, I’ve seen Medicare benefits cut in half.
Other services aren’t available anymore either through the State.
My roof leaks, my windows are original single pane from 95 years ago.
My electricity, all outlets except 2 inside and 2 in basement, 1/2 the lights, got destroyed by squirrels and it’s been over 5 years now I been using the couple outside outlets and running extension cords for some power.
No TV. My friend hooked me up with a projector so that works for me.
Water pipes in bathroom ceiling leak and whole thing is ready to come down.
That’s the main stuff.
And on 1,347/mnth, I’m screwed.
No more government grants or liens to fix anything.
Major cuts seen in past 3 years.
Sorry, 😣 I really dumped here.
I pray you’ll somehow get the help you need my friend.
I really do.
I love how this doctor gives explanations. I feel that too often doctors just don't hear you or just don't want to listen.
My friend had a colonoscopy and he nicked her spleen causing bleeding. She was in terrible pain and he just thought she was being whiny. If her husband had not insisted she go to ER, I don’t know what would have happened. Lots of stories like this. I don’t know how to trust my doctor anymore.
That happens a lot. Or they nick the bowel and the stuff inside leaks out and causes a deadly infection. I don't get colonoscopies I use Cologuard.
We have had awful doctors. My husband has UC and gets horrid head pain along with blood clots. One ER doc said he wouldn't treat the way he is always treated by others and said the only thing he would do was droperidol. Then, he proceeded to tell us all about his upcoming teaching engagement in Africa and how much he knew about head trauma. 🙄 Then, after it was administered, my hubby immediately said, "I dont feel right." The nurse replied with a frustrated, "Just relax and let it work!" As she walked out. In a matter of 3 seconds, my husband turned grey, so grey I couldn't see his lip definition, and his bp was 20! In 2 seconds, the room was full with the entire staff....paddles.....and the horrid, narcissistic doctor. He survived, and for that I am grateful but we both have some trauma from it and would never go back to that er. What would you do to be heard with a physician like this? It isn't the 1st time we were treated terribly, but it was the worst time.
This med is used often but it's Shit. It's the little Brothers of Benperidole and Haloperidole. Many vascular sideeffects, Depression, ... Old Neuroleptics. In my opinion they should use other Meds but I'm Not a Specialist. I Just got many Neuroleptics in my Life and no one should get one old neuroleptic (And the newer are also no sugar pills!) except they are very severe mental disordered.
You should of contacted the Local News & let people know this happened. I am sure this has happened to others beside you.
Talk to an attorney. That might get him to listen.
ALWAYS find a no win no fee medical lawyer. Its for other people as well as yourself. Sadly the only thing to stop all this is to hit the money.
😢
Or they actually are narcissists.
Or they don’t have time for you or your questions.
Or they don’t care.
Sociopath- you forgot that one. I believe that is one in every four people. Apparently they're typically CEOs and people in high positions and politics.
Maybe that would explain why so many doctors took the side of Hitler in Germany and did all those terrible things to the jewish people.
Or all three.
That is exactly the problem
After the shit they pulled in the hospitals during covid, I feel almost certain that a lot of them are straight up psychopaths
Not saying all doctors are narcissists, but I do think the career field for whatever attracts them.
What gets me is when doctors act like their time is more valuable than mine. For example, the over booking of the amount patients they see in a day. Also, doctors are in specialties more than ever before and they hear the same complaints over and over again, they tend to brush you aside and not listen to patient complaints. This leads to missed clues (signs and symptoms) the patient might be giving them.
This is unfortunately a big factor to patients losing their trust and their lives, it’s really sickening (no pun intended) and should be addressed more often during medical board reviews. Patients are always the ones who suffer !!!
My current doctor, whom I've been seeing for 11 years now, is superb, caring, is never afraid to lean in and discuss things. She's never overbearing, egotistical & definitely not a gaslighter, thank goodness. It took me 30 yrs to find her, but she was worth the wait.
Same with me and my wonderful Internist!!!
You are so fortunate. Hope she is able to care for you a long time.
I had a great dr. He retired mia due to govt overreach. 😡. Thought i found a good replacement but she was chased off by the prick in practice w/ her. Once again, lost a good dr w/o notice. 😭. The 🙊word prick left available is a complete 💩. I'm rural so my options are very limited. Im done w/ drs. I'll go back to self treating.
Yeah, when I was 20 I once told a General Practitioner that I thought I had socialphobia (or social anxiety). I came iin thinking he'd help refer me to someone who could diagnose it and help me coach through it (I'm 30 and in much better place now btw). He smirked and said 'And what do you expect me to do about it?'
I never went to him again. He seemed to realise he did something wrong, as I became visibly more anxious after his remark. He gave me a leaflet to a mental health charity and told me to self refer (something I didn't do, thinking 'Well if I'm going to get judged for reaching out again - nope')
I also had a doctor tell me, "what do you expect me do to about it." Am still not over it.
I had a pain in the same spot for years. I was told it was my fibromyalgia. It only turned up because I had an X-ray and CT scan showed something in the exact place that I had pain. It turned out to be a piece of metal that was left behind from a surgery 3 and 1/2 years before.
I have PTSD from what this hospital did to me. Leaving the metal in was only one piece of the trauma I suffered. I live in a tiny, rural town. This hospital and medical system is the closest one - about 25 miles away. The next nearest hospital is about 75: miles away. If there was another hospital in town (same town as the shitty one) I wouldn't touch the bad one with a 39 & 1/2 foot pole.
There are only a few times in 44 years where this has happened because I pre-screen and tell any 'new' doctor "If this is overwhelming, it's okay to say you aren't comfortable as my (whatever) physician". I have had doctors relax and give me a great referral instead or grab someone else if it's been an ER situation. Initially, it was scary to take this approach yet it was essential to staying healthy and alive. Now doctors who have retired after decades with me still keep in touch and help any new doctor with more complex medical issues I've had for over four decades. I have to be my advocate - with tact - and let anyone in my treatment know it.
i do that too. i ask them if they WANT to be part of my healthcare team and can they can handle my issues
Thank you for the counsel, I wish I had known these words to say decades ago.
I was born with a moderate neurological disability. I am ambulatory but, as I age, walking is getting much more painful, especially in my lower back. Several years ago, my PCP gave me a script for Voltaren to ease the spasms and pain in my back that happen when I am fatigued or injure myself. A few years ago, I ran out and called her during a particularly painful event that left me unable to walk. I needed to get to work so, I was desperate. Instead of getting the help I needed, her staff (my actual physician couldn't be bothered to talk to me) told me that they wouldn't renew the script because I hadn't had a pap smear in the last year. I tried to explain that I was congenitally disabled and in severe pain...and that it was physically impossible that I had HPV...but, they refused to help me. I haven't seen a physician since. They tend to either treat me like a circus freak or a malingerer. I have had to resort to getting my pain meds from Mexico so that I can stay on my feet and live my life. #PowerTripping #Ableism
Several years ago you say? Things in the medical field have actually improved a lot in the past 10 years. You might find it easier to find a good dr now if you try again. I was routinely gaslit until the past several years myself. Now it has become rare to find a gaslighting dr unless its the ER... they are still rampant there. But even the ER has gotten better by about 40%.
@@AliciaGuitarI’ve found gaslighting is still really bad in primary care, like even refusing to give you a referral to someone who will help you cause “you don’t need it,” which they don’t know cause they refused to do any tests/labs. Specialists though have been okay. I had a doctor gaslighting me about my reproductive health for the last decade, and now that I’ve finally been able to see a gynecologist, they tell me I have to get a hysterectomy, and that had someone diagnosed me earlier, I might not have had to lose it. I’m glad I have to get rid of it, I’ve been begging to get rid of it for years, but if I had wanted kids or something and then found out I lost my uterus due to a doctors neglect I’d be way more pissed about it than I already am.
This has happened to me in the past. It makes you feel embarrassed, crazy, belittled😮
As a female retired from the military, this happened to me almost every time I went to medical. I had both of my children while serving in the military, and I was gaslighted when I was in labor!
The worst gaslighting example I experienced: Husband told me, months in, that he was anemic; and that FP ‘was following’. Not even an OB smear done- because he’d only a year previously had a colonoscopy + history). Well, a red flag waved for me.
I jumped on it and all alone got him care- she did NOTHING - and I’m not exaggerating. He required a colon resection and lost almost a foot of bowel. I will never forgive her nor forget.
My urologist knew I was scared going in to surgery. She held the mask on, rubbed my arm and kept telling me she understood and I'd be ok. That's the last thing I remember before going to sleep. It was very comforting. As soon as I woke up in recovery, she came in to see me with a huge smile and a hug. I absolutely love her. She can also sense when something is wrong with me. I suffer from depression and she actually called me on the phone to as ask me what was wrong and set me up with counseling because I was suicidal.
I had pain in my upper right quadrant that came and went depending on what I ate. I think it was colon spasms. It was really painful and when it got inflamed and tightened it hurt and pressed up under my liver. When I described this to my doctor she rolled her eyes and said my liver was on the left side of my body and my gallbladder was in the middle. I have a son who is dyslexic so I didn’t correct her but she left the room and laughed so loud at me as she walked out. I have been in remission from Hashimotos since 2016 - which I achieved on my own. But during that time before remission from having antibodies I took my book with me when I requested some labs at my appointment. I tried to show my doctor but she interrupted me and asked me if I was ever diagnosed with bipolar disorder - as if I was having delusions of grandeur or something. I started taking my husband to all my doctors appointments do I would have a witness - even to my Pap smears. One doctor got so upset they called the ombudsman and insisted they have a witness too. Btw, I used to be a nurse so to be gaslit by healthcare professionals was especially frustrating. I’ve since found excellent doctors that respect me - I almost gave up on that because I went to so many doctors but ended up firing them for ignoring my needs, but I’m glad I didn’t give up.
I understand and agree with that. Whenever I go to the doctor or NP, I never let them know about my nursing background just to find out how much BS they are going to shove down my throat all the while belittling my complaints. And taking a family member with me sometimes makes the encounter more intense as if the doctor or NP feels pressured to tell the truth. Such a sad state of our medical community when at one time we were respected so much around the world that people came here for help they couldn't get where they came from. Shameful.
Right! I'm a nurse and I will not hesitate to fire them if they are rude and disrespectful. And I go to doctors 45 and older experienced.
Ombudsman sounds you live in Belgium.
Exactly.
I have the same shameful experiences of all kind in Belgium.
I do not go to doctors anymore, affraid of so much BS.
I should go for so many reasons, but i just try rather youtube videos, read books, medical articles on internet and be my own doctor.
Unfortunately i can not draw my own blood to send to a private lab abroad.
I also figured many doctors send you for a visit to a psychiatrist or/and give you quickly psychiatric drugs. Maybe they still think we women suffer from hysteria like in the good old days. Nothing has really changed on that matter.
I see many people being diagnosed with a plethora of psychiatric ailments, but i see symptoms related to health issues!
@@carolwalters7069 Ha, biologist here, and I do the same thing, let them show me how they treat people _without_ anatomical/physiological knowledge, before I whip out my lexicon, lol.
@@audreymuzingo933 : You are so right. Some of the reasons gaslighting goes on is either related to insurance companies trying to cut costs, the doctor/NP isn't competent or confident so they try to BS their way through something they aren't sure of, when they should just be honest and tell the patient that they aren't sure but will find out about whatever it is instead of outright lying about something. That's how misdiagnosis occur and medical malpractice with negligence lawsuits happen. There's nothing wrong in admitting that these professionals aren't God. That's why there are medical reference books around. New medical information and technologies come up all the time and these folks can't know every thing. One's health care is a team effort, yours and your doctor, and both of you should be on the same page. 🤔
I work in healthcare. I work in sterile processing for the OR. I’ve heard many stories about this subject. Thank you Dr. For speaking about this topic .
After I divorced a couple of years ago, I had to get insurance and diagnosis’s to be declared disabled….in which now I know I have 22 separate disabilities ….. I had shoulder and knee pain so severe I couldnt brush my hair or walk without crutches….my dr told me MY BRA WAS CAUSING MY PAIN AND I SHOULD LOSE WEIGHT ! He also told me my pain was all in my head and instead of getting diagnosed as disabled, I need anti-depressants! It took me months and months to get a referral ….I had not just one, but 2 torn labrums in my shoulders, torn rotators cuffs and broken bone spurs, my knees I had two torn meniscus , and again bones spurs floating in my knee taring cartilage more…..I have had two surgeries on my shoulders, and two on my knee with a knee replacement next week…..I did ask the dr when he told me my breast were too large for my bra WOULD HE ASK A MAN THAT! HE NO LONGER WORKS FOR THE PRACTICE AFTER I REPORTED HIM TO THE BOARD OF MEDICAL EXAMINERS ….apparently he had done this to many patients
Hello again this is A too often occuring and my experience at this time in hospice with Nurse who's neglecting by dismissing my pain and list if symptoms I'm taking too long too pass (SHE SAID TO ME !)& retalites medically that I no longer can tell her anything and will die resenting being ignored 😢Stop medical gaslighting 😢
Thanks for bringing up this subject. I feel this is worse for women and the elderly. My Mom is 92, but college educated and sharp. She is in great physical health and a cancer survivor (bladder and nonhodgkins). She does suffer from anxiety. Medical staff gaslight her and certainly don’t understand mental illness. My other theory is that many of these physicians are brilliant and on the spectrum! Just ask their spouse about their social skills!!
It is worse for women, I'm researching this at the moment, there is social science research that shows it...
And even worse for minorities especially black people. This is part of why there is an unusually high infant and maternal death rate among pregnant, partum, and post-partum African American women, you've got that intersectional "perfect storm" of not having doctors valuing patients' concerns equally.
@@audreymuzingo933it's not "intersectionality." It's not educating or advocating for yourself. It happens to other people too. If they aren't educated it may be a cultural issue. Not a victim issue.
Can confirm!
@@annamineer2521 Intersectionality as in being women AND minorities -did you not even bother looking up what that word means? You're literally blaming women who've DIED at the hands of arrogant "professionals." Yeah something tells me you wouldn't run your mouth if you met one of their relatives. You would not be saying "Well she should have been educated and advocated for herself."
Implicit bias in medicine for black women is well-documented in research, deny it all you want. It IS a "cultural issue." It's called racism and sexism.
I had surgery on my lower back (one of 9 total neck/lower back surgeries) and post surgery I was in incredible pain. The doctor would not give me appropriate pain relief. I never had this issue before and was so frustrated. I was crying and she came in and said "What are you crying for" and I told her I was in terrible pain. Her response was "Well of course you're in pain. You just had surgery"! I couldn't believe it. It ended up that I developed a cyst in the small space in one of my vertebrae where the nerve passes through. It just so happened it developed when I had the surgery I had just gone through. I suffered for months until I finally had another surgery to get rid of the cyst. While I was in the hospital for the prior surgery, I developed a terrible infection that almost took my life. The drain tube had come out and was on the floor. The nurse picked it up and put it back into place but she did not wash it. I was so out of it with pain that I didn't think about it until I got very sick when I went home. It was ecoli...
OMGoodness...I am so sorry this happen to you.. Thank goodness you are here today to tell this horrible story.
@@susannechakan4939 Thank you so much. It was a horrible time that I'll never forget but I am so very grateful to still be here!
@@meanpeoplesuck4355 💖🙏
Dr. Kaveh, I wish every doctor could be as kind and attentive as you. You explain things well and have a certain demeanor that is friendly and knowledgeable. People can be comfortable around you. Thank you for the videos.
Thank you for that kind comments 🙏 I hope you learned something new to advocate for your health
Well said!!!😊
“Sewing the seeds of vulnerability.” Exactly.
That is exactly what doctors hope you will feel.
Fear & control. That’s the goal for most all doctors*
That's Just narcistic behaviour. I don't feel the Most of them acted Like that, but maybe because I come from another culture/country.
Fear, control, and MONEY.
_some_ doctors. Let's remember the big picture.
MOST doctors are narcissistic
I have progressive MECFS and live in Georgia, USA 🇺🇸
Every interaction I have with doctors is gaslighting, dismissive ❤
Oh yes. I’ve experienced this several times. I’m a retired nurse. I’m sure this was a contributing factor. Thank you
How refreshing to have an honest medical professional ❤Thank you❤
As a Pain Management Patient Advocate I Strongly recommend Everyone *Always* take a trusted friend or loved one with you to your appointments, especially the first one or any one where there may be changes that are being requested or need to be made, like dose escalation or decrease, unexpected urine drug test results, missed appointment or medication count etc.
This happened to me years ago when I saw my former internist for more knee problems (an accident when I was 16). I had a piece of cartilage or something floating around in there, and he didn’t believe me. He did after he saw the x-ray.
Thank you for being someone who cares more about people and patients than winning popularity contests among your peers. I now feel more confident to speak up and challenge the MD if necessary. Thanks.
Yes, Anthony. The whole “I’m better than you and I don’t have time for this” attitude happens to me at work daily. 😂😂😂
Ok Anthony , if you get to read this! I’m a retired nurse ( miss my job but most of all my patients) I have bone cancer - 2 different surgeons , praying 2nd wouldn’t gas light me. I am a book of questions!
1st surgeon- I woke up - while he was sawing my bone - he said “ to late can’t put you back to sleep” I knew that, he kept going and I felt everything right down to the last stitch, nurse told me to calm down 😮! My family was waiting - I couldn’t stop crying from the trauma!
2nd surgeon: oh don’t worry your in great hands. He’s left me with only 3 teeth( I have all front teeth, not much help) to try and eat with - didn’t have an Obturator specialists to make it proper, surgeon said in Chicago, said he shoulda been at the helm. We know it’s unethical to talk about other medical staff, but very softly he said what a botched job! the hole in my mouth( size of a dime) in the back right , no teeth, no bone - the hole runs under the eye to sinus cavity! I’m down to 89lbs eating what I can. Cancer doc here ,Said “ as he pats me on the back this is beyond me, Smoothie King”, when clearly it is written in my chart patient allergic to fruit! He lied and said sinus cavity was closed which is clearly incorrect, I know and had ENT look - huge hole and had to have a tube put in right ear from all the fluid. So huge case of neglect, and being gas lite by both of my cancer surgeons?! Been in pain 2 years now but I still get up work in my gardens , help whom I can. Now he has left me to go to a doc in Chicago to make the proper prosthesis, the doctor called me himself 25-50 grand to make! So I’ll live with the plastic plate (yuck ) in my mouth ! What is happening in our health care system Anthony?
Kept telling my doctor I was sick. He received my records, to him in the mail, opened them and threw them away in front of me telling me they are all lies. I went, four months later, to another doc to find I had mast stage 4 pancreas cancer.
I would sue
@@paulaphillips2673Unfortunately, doctors know that most of the time patients won't and can't because of the stress and the expense and the time it would take to fight back.
I tried. All my files mysteriously dissappear and said I never went there.
@@justfergify Medical Mafia
If they filed a claim with your insurance company there will be a record of your visit. It will have an EOB & a medical code stating the purpose of the visit.
I LOVE my doctor. I can tell him anything, and he listens. In fact, he works with me on all my health care issues and never dismisses what I report to him.
...my husband developed symptoms of myocarditis/pericarditis and his CK and troponin levels were elevated for months after autumn 2021. He is a runner, so they ruled out it was due to exercising, which he was still able to do, but not without difficulty. His GP and cardiologist have been gaslighting him for more than two years. The GP actually said it was all in his head. The cardiologist, after two years, granted him an MRI examinations asserting, "Afterwards, you can forget about all of your symptoms because it is just in your head". The MRI results show a myocardial scar, fibrosis and persistent myocardial inflammation. And now the cardiologist says there is NO persistent inflammation and the GP says it is very unlikely that he has had a heart attack... Despite the MRI results. I am not making this up. They are f++++ narcissists scared that we sue them. That is my take on this.
Did your husband take the jab? It does appear that those suffering the consequences are being gaslit, to put it mildly. It is straight up neglect and abuse, but good luck finding a lawyer to back you. They are bought and paid for by BP too.
Thank you soooo much! Now I understand why a wonderful doctor, cut me off saying he had other patients to see, making me feel like I was just a complainer who isn't as bad off as others. Making me feel like I should go home & shut up about my pains until they are extreme.
This has 100% happened to me and it has resulted in me basically ignoring issues because i don't know to communicate what I'm actually experiencing
Had a sliding hiatal hernia for 5 years. I was told my shoulder pain was all in head. I even had physical therapy for it which never worked. They insisted it was a neck issue. I avoided going to the doctor because of the increased charges and getting nowhere. Finally, I had doubled over with stomach pain and had an endoscopy and was finally diagnosed.
I have been gaslighted before. I'm an extreme introvert so when I'm not listened to or a doctor don't act concerned about my concerns I shut down and don't talk to them about anything anymore.
Bring some with with you that you trust if you can. You need a patient advocate.
@@princessbabibear4794 I had my son with me at the time. He is the chief of the fire department where we live and he was in uniform that day. She still got mad and hollered at me. It was one of my cancer doctor's.
Thank you so much for making this video!!! I've unfortunately been in this situation a few times. In my experience, specialists tend to gaslight more often.
The worst doctor I've ever met was an incredibly cocky G.I. specialist. It was soo bad that I fell out laughing at the truck with my mother. It was the most ridiculous situation I've ever experienced. He was pissed because I didn't just go along with a pacemaker in my intestines during our very first visit. As soon as I told him I'd like to get a second opinion he literally threw a fit. He snatched up a leather jacket and stormed out. He pushed passed my mom (in a wheelchair) and myself at the door to leave. He even squealed his tires as he was leaving while I was packing up a wheelchair in the parking lot. It was horrible but also hilarious. It was almost cartoonish and very dramatic. I had never seen a grown man throw a fit like that before. I was in tears before his tantrum but his actions made it hilarious to me.
I was really starting to believe everything was in my head and tried to treat my Crohn's psychologically before I knew what it was. Obviously, it didn't help. I found another doctor who started treating my Crohn's with a low dose steroid, and I have seen a great improvement.
I thank God that there are people like yourself in the medical system! You rock so hard!!! I wish there were more people like you! Again, thank you for everything you do!!! It helps so many!!!
Sounds like he was on drugs.
This is so real….experienced many times with my husband’s oncologist. I have never felt so betrayed. I had to be my husbands voice, and the MD made me feel as if my response and questions didn’t matter. Like I had no right to interfere.
Its really difficult to advocate for yourself when you are met with animosity for disagreeing that you're "depressed" etc.
I ended up skidding around in my own blood, which came out of my mouth in litres, because i did actually have something wrong with me. (Cirrhosis)
I went to a neurologist 5 years ago with a vertigo & seizure issue. He dismissed it as a "psychological" issue. 5 years on, it's become such a chronic issue that doctors are finally admitting that there are physical symptoms. It's tragic and draining 😢
My neuro told me my symptoms were behavioral and hormonal. I should take antidepressants and birth control. He did finally order an mri and sure enough I have chiari malformation. My brain is being squished out into my spine. No amount of antidepressants or birth control was going to fix that.
@@trishayamada807 I feel for you. The medical industry has become very cruel.
@@natraj_j it really is horrible. I do have a family practice doctor who is truly a treasure. She is supportive and explains her thinking and is always open to change. I worry that she will leave her practice. Family medicine seems to be the least paid and appreciated.
Sounds like no one knows anything
I only trust the ones who studied to be surgeons and are practicing at places like ucla or Ucsf
They know stuff not my neurologist who last time told me I need to go on another medication and also I have brain fog
Also, my psychiatrist gaslit me into doing DBT therapy because she gave me a bpd diagnosis after 4 questions. The therapy made me 10x worse (she was affiliated with the therapy center)... Got a second opinion, was undiagnosed by 2 separate Drs, then my psychiatrist dumped me for being "argumentative with Drs advice". The same Dr told me being on klonopin while pregnant would kill my baby and made me have a meeting with a high risk genealogist. That professional said " there's no proof it causes fetal harm"... When she gave that report to my psych, she said "I don't care what they said, I'm still taking you off of it. The subsequent withdrawal caused me to miscarry.
oh my god. I am so fucking sorry that happened. I don't even know what to say to try to comfort or help you. I just hope you feel better soon and that all this medical gaslighting crap stops.
Thanks so much for your wisdom, empathy, and honesty. My longtime concierge doctor who I greatly trust did this to me a few weeks ago. I'm not sure how to address it. He asked me if my middle initial is P. I said that's not my middle initial. He said it stood for Procrastination because I've delayed having a prostate procedure for BPH. I was floored at the language he used. I've delayed having a procedure because I'm not comfortable with the risks with any of them. The longer I wait, the better the treatments are becoming. My body my choice.
Moreover, he didn't give me the opportunity to discuss my discomfort. I feel like I need to talk to him about that. He lost my respect in that moment. I'm trying to understand how to approach him without triggering him. I'm a scientist and I do my research with procedures and medications. And I can speak the language of science and I understand statistics. I expect to be treated as a professional. I'm also left wondering what my doctor is going through in his life.
"I'm trying to understand how to approach him without triggering him".
This is the problem. You must manage your own symptoms and uncertainty about outcomes AND most importantly you must cheer the doctor along, make them feel important and competent and find ways of gently herding in the general direction you want to go, especially when they abandon standard clinical practice like examining you closely and carefully BEFORE reaching conclusions.
Facepalm material.
Wow. True human interface. Every human interaction is a power play, especially when you are the vulnerable one. Another lesson I have learned from all of these comments.
The last dermatologist I went to for an ongoing skin issue that has been incredibly difficult to get diagnosed and properly treated asked me how long I had been having the problem. This was the first thing she said as she walked in the door. I told her it had been about two years since I had symptoms. This was when, instead of asking me how it first manifested or about the efficacy of treatments I had tried, instead began grilling me on the incorrectness of my timeline if what was in my chart was true. She began counting off the months on her fingers while I sat there flustered and feeling like I used to feel in grade school math class when I got a problem wrong on the blackboard.
This time issue seemed extremely important for her to correct me on as she went on for about two minutes before anything else was touched on. The insignificance of this aspect when I had been suffering for at least a year and a half seemed so obviously meant to cast doubt upon my narrative and ability to speak with authority that it was impossible afterwards to communicate with the same clarity of mind than I had intended when I had come in.
I’ve never been great at math and it hit me in a space where I already felt insecure. But this interaction destabilized my ability to properly communicate with her and in the end it ruined the whole appointment. It was clear she believed that I had a psychosomatic condition and did not offer to look any further. One year later (I am sure lol) and am still suffering from whatever this is. It’s kept me from trying to get help for it and I feel I must discover what and how to treat it on my own before I can go back and ask for help again. I’ve made a new appointment with my original doctor that saw me when it began and so I’m hoping that this time will be different. Fingers crossed.
my gaslighting experience was about my heart. i only had one doctor sit me down and tell me he was going to talk to my like i was his mother or sister. then he explained that the bottom of my heart was dying. that i needed to control my blood sugar so i could slow down the dying process of my heart. i was in my late 40's at the time.
recently, some doctors didn't want to tell me how bad my heart was, but i already knew. i left one group of doctors because they wouldn't be honest with me. my last heart doctor was honest and helpful. he admitted that i am now on just maintenance because nothing more can be done.
however, when i had my last heart attack, i was released from the er after being told i was doing fine. i threw up all the way home. two days later i told my mom something was really wrong so we went to a different er. the doctor there refused to run blood tests, telling me i just had a stomach condition and i would be fine.
three days after that, the emt suggested a third hospital. i got there, they said "let's start over" then after the blood tests came back, they told me i had a heart attack while leaving the first er and was lucky to be alive.
gaslighting can be dangerous. and deadly.
my brother was told he had swine flu. a week later his wife insisted he go to the er. he got there and dropped dead of complications from a heart attack he had the week before when his doctor said it was just swine flu.
I have been gaslighted as well. For several years I have complained about abdominal discomfort and pain and was ignored. All the gastrointestinal doctor wanted to do is give me meds for disorders that I didn’t have. I was injured in a accident and that is when the trauma surgeon found out that I had cancer.
With my first pregnancy (38 yrs ago in Seattle Wa) I was a single mom and had gained what my obstetrician considered to be too much weight, and at my 38 week checkup he slapped me on the thigh as I sat on the exam table which I tried to get past, until he exclaimed "MAN, you big!!" as he followed me down the hallway back to the office on my way out. When I got to reception to schedule my next appointment I realized I didn't want this person anywhere near me, especially during my delivery
but I felt ashamed and intimidated so I just told her I'd call her later. I did, too-
she only warned me it would be pretty tough to switch doctors this late in my pregnancy and I told her I'd rather show up at the ER for whoever was available than have him attend my baby's birth! It actually turned out pretty well, my next doctor was kind and professional
My friend was trying to get her wheelchair-bound mom up a couple of concrete steps and fell over her onto her head. She went to the nearest ER . They x-ayed her head/neck area, minimized her pain and sent her home. For 2 weeks she suffered horrible headaches and she went to a different ER and got her straight away into surgery for a BROKEN NECK!
I was gaslighted for over 11 years. I have TBM and no one looked for it. They sent me for tests to prove there was nothing wrong. Then I saw a doctor who had heard of it and he had me have a dynamic CT. He referred me to a supposed specialist for an awake bronchoscopy to measure for a stent placement. I told him I get upset when I have to be awake and told him I would cooperate, just get freaked. I was crying the day of the procedure and he actually got into my face right beforehand and yelled at me Never spoke to me afterward.. The CT showed 100% collapse and he said it was only 85% collapsed and that was normal. (Up to 50% is normal 85% is moderate) In his report he only recommended seeing a psychiatrist for intense therapy. If course, my PCP believed him, because he's the doctor. I did see a therapist because of doctor's like him. I finally found help at BIDMC in Boston. They have a team who specialize in treating TBM (tracheobronchomalacia). I had openTBP 5 years ago and it's still holding well. I still have a lot of mistrust of doctors.
Yes! Went from Feb to Oct, multiple visits complained of severe face pain. Ended up with facial droop and was finally sent to a neurologist. I had salivary gland cancer that grew into my facial nerve and 2 lymph nodes
Us HEDS folks call this a typical day in modern day medicine. I am assertive after years of being railroaded .so I have continued to educate myself in the medical field, and survey courses when I can. ( I also work in a medically relelated field,which helps) I also research all my providers before I see them . I come prepared, because when you've been treated like a science project, ignored, gaslit , told it's in your head, and been put in the middle of a doctors personal beef between each other . You have to learn to put your professional sassy pants on, set boundaries,call people out when appropriate, and focus on important details and facts to get your needs met. You also need to cut ties with providers that are unwilling to collaborate, listen or think outside of the box with challenging medical issues. This was a great post and refreshing to see someone talk about this ! Thank you !
If you live in Washington state, gaslighting happens a lot! The worst gaslighting I got was from several doctors that I went to numerous times for what seemed like nerve issues in my legs! Each time I saw these doctors they would treat me like I was attention seeking or had anxiety. They wrote out prescriptions for anxiety medication which I never filled! Finally after 2 and a half years I made it to the right doctor where it was discovered that I had a very large tumor on my spinal cord T3T4&T5. My spinal cord was extremely pinched off and by now I was having all kinds of problems, and in dire need of surgery!
Dr. Kaveh, I just wanted to let you know that I have completely healed up from my lower back issues, that I had this past spring, and I want to say that your videos really helped me get through that painful experience. Just want to say thank you.
Your friend, Francis
If you are admitted at a hospital and the doctor seeing you is being very rude and dismissive. What can I do as a patient? I’ve reported many bad doctor behaviors and other things. After I file a report they act like they doing something but then I NEVER hear anything back. One doctor even discharged me when I was in sickle cell crisis after I filed a report on him. I was just told he’s the doctor so there is nothing anyone can do. Then he proceeded to write lies on my medical report
I have experienced both. One doctor who just knew better than I did and he was extremely arrogant to the point that he said I couldn't be pregnant, even though I knew I was. Then there was a doc that avoided answering a question (totally different doc), and he did not know the answer and he kept avoiding the question. I finally cornered him. Then I had a doctor that put me on 300 mg of seroquel based on me going in during a divorce and letting him know that I just felt more sad than I thought I should. He promptly told me I was bipolar and gave me that medicine. I took it dutifully for 8 years and for 8 years I steadily gained weight. I would go in the office for a check up and leave in tears over what a lard-o I had become despite my best dieting efforts. One time a friend said, girl you need to fire your doctor. I was horrified. I said I can;t do that. They said, you hired him. You shouldn't feel like a total loser every time you go to the office and you damn sure shouldn't leave in tears. What a concept. So I did. I fired him, and found a docor that took two years to wean me off of the seroquel since I had been on it for so long. Off that, the weight started coming off. Not sure what category that original doctor falls into, but I've had a wide range of experiences with medical professionals that I'm sure would make you raise your eyebrows or shake your head.
Well said!
I'm in remission for prostate cancer. My male GP wasn't the one who sent me to a urologist, it was a wonderful young woman. She insisted I go to a specialist. She has moved on, but if I ever mention the words prostate cancer to male GP, he doesn't answer. All you want is a little encouragement, empathy and caring when you have a very serious disorder. This wonderful doctor today, really struck a cord with me. Things must change.
I'm a senior, and it feels almost nobody cares these days. Thank you doctor from Australia 🇦🇺
Doc, you are honest, empathetic, also very clear in your head, transparent. Never met one like you. So this videos make me more sad and hopeless, because i never met someone like you.
Im hoping your videos will help me learn, because I stopped seeing doctors for a large fibroid because of what I view as abusive practices and gaslighting. It was dangerous because I lost a lot of blood and initially needed 4 transfusions to survive. I'm not a difficult patient at all, yet the staff and the constantly rotating doctors consistently treated me like I'm just an unwanted problem. Like they promised to fill a progesterone prescription to lessen my heavy and extremely anemic bleeding, but then didn't do it, and when I called from the pharmacy to ask why they didn't, they told me they're refusing to fill it until I come in for a new appt despite the fact I already DID go in. So I had to just keep bleeding until I could go in again. They also accused me of not getting blood work done, screaming this at me in their lobby btw, and I had to raise my voice to tell them I did get it done, after which they easily found my blood tests in their computer system. Combined with the fact their various doctors all had different stories about what I should do about this fibroid... I don't trust most medical people anymore. It's not worth being yelled at and lied to and gaslit. I'd literally rather let the fibroid kill me at this point. One doctor said I have to have a full hysterectomy, another said no progesterone will work fine, another said I can still have kids if I have surgery to burn it off, another said yes surgery but no to burning, another said it'll shrink on its own with no intervention if I change my diet. How on earth am I to guess correctly as to which treatment is right for me? If these doctors are so knowledgeable, why do they not agree on what should be done for a fibroid? I thought science would be more idk consistent. In the end I chose to change my diet and to carefully work on rebuilding up my iron. My bleeding is much less, and I'm no longer anemic, but I also get panic attacks at the thought of visiting a Dr even for a yearly pap, so I don't. Thank you for trying to help us understand what's happening in our health care system ❤
My fibroid actually ended up being a polyp and they refused to do a hysterectomy because they said my BMI was too high.
Then they wanted to do a uterine ablation but then after doing research I found out that that makes it hard to detect uterine cancer of which my mother died of 2 years ago. I ended up going to an oncologist gynecologist. I literally went on a hunt for a pro-life Christian gynecology doctor. And from there i got references. The oncologist said that we could remove the polyp and check the whole area and that should solve the problem and stop the bleeding. And my new gynecologist put me on SLYND which is 4 mg every day of progestin. It seems to be working and helping me get through the next two months till I can schedule a removal of the polyp next year.
That's because doctors here are business people. Corporations owned doctors. Universal health care doesn't have that problem. No one ever votes and pressure congress to bring in Universal health care! You don't experience this in other countries, ever!
My " fibroids" turned out to be ovarian cancer but no one would take them seriously till after menopause. They were supposed to go away then but continued to grow instead. By the time I had survey was the size of a grapefruit!
Surgery not survey!
I had a psychiatrist (or psychologist I forgot which) whom I went to to help me deal with my chronic pain, tell me how he never got sick because he was able to just lay down and will himself to heal. He told a story how his young daughter brought him a banana when he was laying down feeling a cold coming on and how he humored her and took it but he didn't need anything but his own mind to keep himself from getting sick.
WTF am I supposed to get from that? That I'm just unlucky my brain isn't that good at healing me or that I'm a failure because I'm unable to heal myself?
The first session the relaxation technique he gave me helped a tiny, but the technique of imaging pushing the pain away didn't work at all. That made him made and he lectured me about how I was just resisting treatment. I didn't go back a third time.
Sleep Paralysis: Have had it a couple of times. It is scary, especially when it come with hallucinations. I read a trick about trying to move your eyes from side to side to help snap out of that and it seemed to help last time I tried it. I try to just tell myself it's okay and just be annoyed instead of scared.
My doctor always said i was too young to have any of the problems i had. I went somewhere else and i was right, i knew my own body.
It happens all the time. My Ma told her Doctor she had a UTI and he just walked out. So I started going with her because my Ma was really soft spoken. With me I was an LPN and if I would want to be a part in my plan of care they don't like it. They act like I'm trying to be the doctor. I got told by a doctor when I had a lump in my breast and it hurt that "It isn't cancer because you don't have pain with it. Trust me." I have fibrous breast. He could of ruled it out. I had stage 3 and went in my nodes. I assist with my involvement in my healthcare I don't care what they think or say!!!
You are so right! I wish more dr.s we’re like you!. I have a severe pain issue and you can imagine what happens all the time. I know it is in my head literally but when you you have tried all their suggestions what is left except for them to at least acknowledge you and your problem. Thank you for addressing these issues, i wish we could clone dr.s like you! By the way i have had more care and help from Dr.s of anesthesia than any other branch of Medicine!
I've been "punted" & gaslit my entire life! I'm now 60 with Autoimmune disease that has caused a plethora of problems. I'm sick & tired of being ignored, laughed at & condescended. I finally was able to see a functional Dr (thanks to a relative who had compassion on me & offered to pay for it) & he LISTENED! Gave me an inexpensive prescription for a proven medicine & instructed me on supplements & nutrition. Then told me to have my primary run specific tests for deficiencies & additional possible autoimmune issues. He's been in practice 50 years & his patients LOVE him. My next supplements is in 6 weeks.
I went to the ER for chest pain (chronic and unknown for 2 hrs at the time). The ER doctor said, "Why are you here? I can't help you with any chronic problems. You are wasting my time by being here; I could actually be helping someone. You need to talk to your PCP." I told him I was told by my PCP to go to the ER if my pain gets worse. This doctor said, "Your PCP is wrong. You never should have come here. You are wasting our time."
Broke me. I didn't want to see another doctor again
I was a victim of medical gaslighting myself. I got kicked out Of the ER at 2 am and sent home because they thought I was a hypochondriac. I am not. They made me wait outside in the cold. I went to a different hospital and they found I had a TIA.
I was sent home with "anxiety" but found out a few days later that I was having a serious heart-related side effect to a new medication. Thankfully it was discovered in time.
My gastroenterologist scheduled my colonoscopy. I saw her and told her I was a sexually abused as a child. I'm also a domestic abuse survivor. She looked at me and said "wow, you should write a book" and laughed. I found another doctor.
I mean I get it, but what exactly was she supposed to do? She's not a mental health professional. You dropping a bomb like that on her probably shocked the shit out of her. I wouldn't know wtf to say to you either. 😳
She could have said so many abused people. How we manage means we are pretty awesome.
I feel so fortunate to have my doctor. I worry about the time she retires even tho she is younger than me. She's patient and kind, always has the time to listen. My previous doctor didn't seem scared, she acted bored and uninterested. I complained for 5 years about my symptoms & kept bringing up it might be my gallbladder. She would tell me my symptoms didn't sound like the gallbladder and I would say then help me find out what is going on. She finally (in the 5th yr) ordered an ultrasound which showed a few 1cm gall stones. I asked for a referral to the surgeon. The surgeon was 99% sure it was my gallbladder and said I didn't have to worry about the larger gall stones because they were too big to enter the duct... it was all the smaller stones that were causing the attacks. My gallbladder was removed, all my symptoms resolved & I dumped my doctor. Can't say why I let her gaslight me for so long....
The topic that will get doctors gaslighting immediately is PAIN. I have scoliosis of my lumbar spine, and it's a very painful condition. I also work in an office full time. The instant I ask a doctor for support in getting my job to make accommodations for me (some ergonomic changes, or different furniture, etc.), they act like scalded cats. Moments before, they were telling me that I need "a multilevel fusion." A minute later and they can't even help me keep my job. Sickeningly calloused and immature.
I was pretty seasoned nurse when I entered home health. When I would discover problems they’d tell me, “they are always in a rush”. This is what I’d tell them. Always have a list in your hand of concerns. (Let him/her see you have one) when your questions are satisfactorily answered make a big check mark beside it👍
Next. rinse and repeat🤣 Once the see you’ve got that checklist in hand? Forget the “15 minute bum’s rush”
Works every time😉😄
Thank you sir for making this video. I really needed to see this because it confirms my thoughts and actual feelings💯👍🏽
I have been so gaslighted (not even knowing what that was until now) that I can't even get a doctor in my area to work with me....
I had a lot of odd symptoms in my whole head, neck pain, brain squeezing headaches, TMJ pain, migraines, tinnitus that blocked a lot of what I could here. I’m at a neurologist exam, he said “well, rest easy, if it was a brain tumor you would have dropped dead by now. I was there to have him order a MRI for a chiropractor who said he could me, so the doc was just say OK. The MR! Showed that my brain was being tightened by what was happening from vertebrae in my neck were twisted and squeezing my brain stem causing the covering of my brain to be twisted like a tootsie pop wrapper! Did he keep his promise, “I can help you” and he did. That was 32 years ago! That doc then heard from my Chiropractor and had to write me a letter for his awful treatment of me.
Awww I missed your livestream!
Gosh I’ve been thru soo many situations. I’ve been told that I’m too complex. I’m too complicated. My life isn’t worth saving. Go home! You have chronic pain. Talk to your primary (and I was actually dying for 2 months with osteomyelitis in my spine….i was soooo close to death that the surgeon gave me the option of hospice). You’re not dying so go home!!!! Oh man I’ve heard soooo many hurtful things. I’m terrified of doctors now. And hospitals. I get chest pains and my mom (who I care for) asks me if I want to go to hospital and I immediately and emphatically say nope. Won’t step foot in there again. Idc what is wrong. I’ve taken family with me because of these things. They don’t care! Was told by a lawyer that I have a case to sue the hospital, but I just can’t. I’ve heard how hard it is. And after hearing all the trouble that Maya and her family went thru? No way.