Pete Davidson's Best Stand-Up Jokes
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- Опубликовано: 25 сен 2020
- Take a look back at some of Pete Davidson’s best bits about why he dropped out of college, why he misses masturbating at his mom’s house and why he wants to get an “SMD” tattoo. (Contains strong language.)
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#PeteDavidson 
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Hes so funny because he doesnt sound like hes joking he sounds 100% serious and is just telling us stuff like it isnt hilarious
I feel bad for you bro if you think this shit is funny!
@@scottpurtle3577 ... You came on to complain? ... That's sad...
Scott Purtle 😂
Maybe he is
Wow thanks dude. Amazing perspective, thanks for sharing
Pete Davison looks like a normal guy that got lost and walked on the stage and started telling random people about his life
Skete
Hehehe
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
That's what it sounds like too
Love this 💯👌🏽
"I've no game with women" that lines aged well
I'm saying bro 😆
Pete, you’ll NEVER believe this…
He got nicki minaj, ariana and kim kardashian in one lifetime
@@gus7807 and Kim Kardashian
@@enriquepena2009 forgot abT her ima edit it
10 years ago he was joking about not getting any and now here we are after him dating Ariana Grande, Kim Kardashian and Emily Ratakowski. Friggin legend
I guess that tatoo really did work
And also Kate Beckinsale, man he is already a legend
Anything is possible
Madeline cline now too
He is so brutally honest.Its kinda scary..
He’s a big mood for me
Aye it fits him
The first bit about the college dorm was not though. I mean unless he's dorming at an inner-city Community College... What the hell was he talking about. First year in the dorms fucking rocked. You don't care anything about the living situation you are so excited to be around people your age like-minded, and everyone there has half a brain at least and now you guys are the adults and no supervision it's awesome. You got to be a first-rate creeper not to come out of your shell and socialize or at least be a part of the community. He's focused on the toilet paper lol.
grego15 called being anti social or introverted
@@Masked_SVincent he must be at the extreme end, yet he does standup....The dorms are a mix of everybody. My roommate was a severe diabetic with an insulin pump and very quiet and just played video games and was "in the closet" but we still talk and he loved the dorms because he instantly became part of an equal community with open minded young people and could walk over to anyone's room at any hour to just kick it. We had 3 halls 1 girls and 2 boys and central connecting lounge with TV and kitchen. The place was built in the 60s so it was no Hilton but it rocked! Don't forget like hotels, there are paid workers to clean it. You have to be able to focus on academics and making connections. All dorms are very similarly like this. Where's the time machine!?
His jokes are so raw that I don't know if I want to laugh or cry for him.
Lmao same. I ended up doing both 💀😂
You do both.
You think this kids jokes are raw....you don't know real comedians. If you grew up in the early 90s you would have heard some real shit. But let's be honest your generation wouldnt like comedians back then because of how it uncensored they were. I mean they said anything from sexist to racist jokes that this generation couldn't handle. It would be too raw for you zoomers you would end up crying.
@@invidia44 bruh ur begging for an ok boomer meme, also comedy is subjective just bcuz u dont find it funny doesnt mean it's not real humor. If it makes u laugh, its humor
@@invidia44 what they mean by raw is that some of his jokes are very deeply personal to him and it makes people sad seeing him joke about the shit he’s gone through. it has nothing to do with being racist/sexist lmfaoooo that’s just plain disrespect
What makes Pete’s comedy so great isnt his punchlines or even delivery, but rather the fact that it’s so unrefined and raw that it’s a refreshing break from what you’re used to. It’s literally the funny guy in your stoner group that just happened to make it big
Well said 😂
„Coolio‘s Not going anywhere“ that aged like milk (rip)
Well I guess he went to heaven 🤷♀️
he litterly died from what he said he wouldnt die from too
“how am i going to smoke weed with no fingies”
His accent is so much stronger here for some reason
Fhingas
😂😂
@@DaihatsuCharade1993 lolpll pollllololl
Statistics joke.
He's just so natural on stage like he uses his awkwardness to his advantage
I’ll be the first to reply ig
@@LL-uw4qv bro really went three months without a reply
How can he be a natural on stage if he's awkward?
@@philferroni he is used to preforming doesn’t mean he isn’t awkward that’s a pretty clear trait of his
He is naturally unfunny. And i gave this dude a chance too. I wanted to see whats all hype about. My god I know comedy is subjective sometimes but if you think he is funny, you wont be in my circle for sure.
For a 20 year old (at the time of a lot of these clips), he was a really polished stand up comedian. Some comedians never get there
My mom got me condoms only once in my life and she made it even weirder by implying my dad's size, asking if I need the same. 16 years later and I still remember it
So what is it
hahahhahahahahhaah thats tough
@@JacobSca i made the comment vague, for a reason, and that reason wasn't shame.
@@JacobScathe question we’re all asking
"Mommy's sick. She might need these tissues."
🤣🤣
Afrikan Kodo he's so wholesome
@@leleliswoe5350 you understand he said he was going to finish but couldn’t because “mommy’s sick” and you say “he’s so wholesome” what the fuck.. hahahaha
@@yawannatilly can u please explain the joke
I laughed so much
🤣🤣🤣
i spat out my water when he said "i got every kind for my baby boy"
He sounded like a serial killer while saying that...😭😭😂
I swear his sooo funny
That part was too much 😆 no wonder his jokes are taken off air
that sounded *really* wrong
I was literally laughing so much I started coughing 💀
"I don't have game with women"
Dates Arianna Grande and Kim K in the same lifetime
"I can't finish now... mommy's sick. She might need these tissues."
Everyone hating on Pete for the little brother joke needs to relax he doesn’t even have a brother he has a sister named Casey
You mean, he was joking? Fuuuuuck
Omg wow like for reals? It’s almost like he was telling a joke or something 🙈 but fr thank GODDDD you were here to clear things up for us. Thank you.
@@dungoofed8983 cool story bro
@@cpsbBXCX okay boomer
He is so brutally honest.Its kinda scary..
Pete: im not good with girls
Also Pete: dates Ariana Grande
also Kate Beckinsale
And Kaia Gerber
LIAR
so what lol
@Alycia HooperHe and Gerber broke up back in January. He is currently single unless he is in a relationship that he is keeping secret (which would actually be a great idea for him with the way that all of his relationships are so heavily scrutinized by the media, social and otherwise).
I truly believe he does not deserve any of the hate he gets. This man deserves all the success he has in the comedy industry and he’s been working hard since he was a minor to earn his spot.
His delivery and the fact that he seems natural up there are easily the best parts of his routine
Pete Davidson: Im very depressed.
Audience: *laughs*
Why explain what happened in the video?
@@mrme3719 cause its funny
@Drown the Socialists his awkwardness makes himself funny
@Drown the Socialists He looks great and is hilarious
@Drown the Socialists and your for some reason watching the video🤔🧐
Never understood why people hate this guy so much lol
he made fun of an ex navy seal who lost his eye. show some god damn respect for those who served.
Icecube88 it’s a joke. I’m sure people who actually served, unlike you, can appreciate some dark humor.
Cause he thinks everyone is out to get him. He's a disrespectful shit that hates being disrespected.
@@Icecube88 The guy he joked about, Dan Crenshaw, laughed and joked back. He even went on the show with Pete and fired back. Because he has a sense of humour, unlike you.
Also, Dan does look like a bond-villain.
It's not offensive to say that.
Nothing To See Here I bet you if Pete dissed a Democrat he would be on his “lIbERaLs rUiN COmEDy” crusade
I just figured out why I like Pete! He's like the voice in my head saying things that I don't say in the real world.
'Ma, I'm goin' camping. You got that boy scout outfit from third grade?'
'It won't fit you.'
'That's the point!'
S E N D S M E
Pete: I got my priest to stop hitting on me. I introduced him to my brother. I got an A.
Yeah but your brother got a D
You absolutely CARRIED this comment section with this
Epic.
Bruh this comment is so underrated
I was about to comment that
I didn't get that part, can someone explain me :(
Hes just like a regular guy I can't understand why I like this guy so much😂😂😂😂😂
@Trump 2020 USA USA USA ......
@Trump 2020 USA USA USA Talkin bout Trump yeah?
Content and delivery. Some people just have it nailed.
His cadence is a lot like Chappelle's.
@Trump 2020 USA USA USA pardon, care to explain?
I swear, he tells jokes like he snuck on to the stage
One of my favorite comedians ever.
Top notch delivery and storytelling.
"mommy's sick"💀
"She might need these tissues"😥
Imagine being high with this dude🤣 he’ll have me rolling on the floor with laughter
Dude watching this high is just 👌
I‘d probably die bruuv collapsed lung from to much laugh coughing
His eyes blink separately... it's unsustainable.. but for now it's enjoyable to watch
@@meghanhixon3241 He’s not funny at all
@@meghanhixon3241 I'm absolutely blasted rn i dont even know what year it is
"the cigarette commercials are okay, the woman has no fingers. im like nahh i need those" 💀💀
Never paid much attention to him earlier but now i am obsessed with him ..He has this peculiar charm about him which attracts me
he's like a gigantic teddy bear you have to protect.
Pete: I got my priest to stop hitting on me. I introduced him to my brother. I got an A.
Yeah but your brother got a D
that's cringey
@@birdy5450 You're "cringey"
@@drewscholl6347 No, actually op is
@@user-qv3ec7qk6u COPIED
i feel like he’s not even a comedian he’s just talking to me
Same but he has my attention!
Yeah one day I just kinda went on stage and started talking about my life and here I am serval years later
He literally talks like the weird kid at kickons just talking to strangers who aren’t really listening or talking back so he just keeps talking and everyone lets him.
That's because he isn't a comedian, he's a ghoul!
J
Pete: "I got no game with women" -> dates Ariana Grande, Kate Beckinsale, freakin Kim Kardashian
All of these Pete compilations are 10/10 😂😂😂
Don’t get me wrong, Pete Davidson isn’t unattractive at all but his personality makes him a 10.
No
he’s chopped but his personality & height makes him 11/10
@@exoyria5446 maybe a 9/11 tho
No it doesnt
@@SILENTPRAYERS HANDBAJSJA ICONIC
he isn't conventionally attractive
yet
he is unresistable
I feel like if I knew him irl i'd be head over heels for him
same
*irresistible
Chad
YESSS LIKE HES UGLY BUT IK IF HE FLIRTED WITH ME ID FALL IN LOVEE
I don’t know him and I am head over hills for him
Literally in love with Pete. I also have bpd and he always makes me happy
“I have no game with women” proceeds to date ARIANA GRANDE AND KIM KARDASHIAN
He sounded like Adam Sandler when he said “you’re a fucking disgrace”😂
Yeahhhh
They're both from New York and have similar backgrounds but apparently I'm not allowed to be more specific than that because my comment keeps getting censored
I am so in love with that man
I got a friend that looks like he just smelled a horrible fart just like pete, i can hook u two up if u want?
Z J Did u just insult yet compliment your friend? Anyways if he looks like Pete I’m down 😎
@@yippee-tn5ln yes i did, his names Buster P. Hymen. hes real slick with the ladies add him on Facebook!
Z J yeah no u lost me at buster. Better luck next time ;)
Z J I get it that’s why I used the excuse of buster 💀 I wasn’t born yesterday but u also got my hopes up for nothing lmao! :( 😂
I love that he keeps talking about his depression. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
the key to true comedy is being honest and also being brutally honest when you speak and pete davidson has mastered it
You have to be kidding! This is feeble.
I feel like he could play the Joker
yessss omg
He is gonna be in the next suicide squad movie and I'm pumped
@@lizzyelisabeth6797 when is that coming out?
@@deisydiaz4473 I think it's sometime next year. I'll double check
I was thinking the same thing. His deadpan humour and dark self-deprecating jokes give me troubled villain vibes.
Can people maybe understand that humor is subjective and that Pete is actually funny to some people?
The hundreds of people in the audiences laughing, then saying he isnt funny just proves you dont understand what you're saying
Lunatic MD wh....what? I just said that he IS funny to some people. Including me. I was commenting on the people saying he isn’t funny as if everyone finds the same things funny
@@sabrinaly2942 im agreeing with you!
@@BassLineProductionsI to be a x xx just
@@scottmccarter717 I love Pete's comedy and clearly lots of people do as well so I am sick of the random "hes not funny" comments
“I have no game with women” pulls kim kardashian 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Idk why it’s hard listening to his comedy skit. He’s a great comedian but when he brings up 9/11 you can hear the grief and depression he endured and how it’s still an open wound for him ❤
he kinda stands like Tyler the Creator.
Bad posture
I sea it
Frl lol
he always stands like he is preparing to be suprise attacked
He's the white version 😝
“I have no game with women”
*dates Ariana Grande*
She has a pretty face and that is it
He could do much better
@@qanon1286 do you personally know her?
@@gwsjulie4216
Do You?..
@@qanon1286 no which is why i don’t speak about her as if i know her personally lol
@@gwsjulie4216
..
Just to remind everyone, this guy is voicing a robot who can turn into a Porsche and I’m here for it
I love Pete. Not many comedians can make me laugh out loud.
He’s so relatable, he’s a comedian for people my age (19)
What age is that? Hopefully not 26 cuz this is not for me
Charlie Misch he’s clearly snoop dog
@@charliemisch7325 this is definitely for me and im 15
14 and funniest shit I've ever seen
Charlie Misch 16 and it’s pretty funny to me but humor is subjective i guess
People saying they don’t understand why they’re attracted to him.. HES LITERALLY HOT??? AND HILARIOUS?? Not to mention he seems like the kindest person ever.
Like he’s not a rare breed of men or something
So true
Fr he’s young, sculpted, tall, cute yet distinctive face, brunette and tats, like that’s just legit a teen girl go to a majority who disagree either have a different preference or are millennials and older.
Ok simp
@@-itzmocha-3215 you do realize he's a millennial right? Lol
9:05 aged well
“I have no game with women” 💀
Pete’s just like “what the fuck why are they laughing I’m just talking about my childhood”
He sounds so genuine on stage. Like it doesn’t even sound like he’s trying to be funny, he’s just telling us stories but knows how to deliver them to make them absolutely hilarious. He’s super calm, he’s not pacing back and forth on stage or screaming trying to get a point across like other comedians, he’s just talking normally but has the whole crowd laughing
I do this with my family ND friends allll the time gooo pete :)
The Coolio thing aged well😂
ouch hahah
I know 😅 I just got to that part… RIP Coolio
Unlike coolio...
9:11 aged well 😂
All these people hating so hard for no reason. If you don’t like it then literally stop watching it, no one asked for your opinion. All of y’all are soft.
Yeah they are just too blind to see the world and they don't have a sense for dark humor
It’s because his humor is a little too real for them haha
Stg.
Pete: im not good with girls
Also Pete: dates Ariana Grande
This seems like a dumb comment mainly due to the like to dislike ratio
The jokes about his dad are a way for him to cope. I know that’s probably obvious. He says “he doesn’t care” but that’s just a form of numbing the pain.
really though he was 7 i dont know how much it could affect him now, i think he is just fine and accepting of it, it really probably is just for giggles.
My mother died when i was 8, now i m 20, she was my whole world before and now I don't remember her face properly...
@@monke980 You shouldn’t speak on things you don’t understand. Give me your real response to his pain.
@@Kal-El207 lol k bud.
@@Kal-El207 everyone copes in their own way. Some people get way quicker over grief than others do🤷♀️
This is brilliant.. so effortless...gonna pause and go take another hit..
1:17 "I have no game with women"
Ariana Grande✅
Kate Beckinsale ✅
Kim Kardashian ✅
Gotta watch that movie Pete Davidson made called King of Stanton Island or something like that. That dude's a great kid, really. Anyway... Good bits kid!
stanton island eye- thank you for that
Yea I watched it on here. It was $5. Pretty good. 👍🏻
Its a pretty good movie, id recommend it
Enjoyed it, Had some real dark parts in it. Bill Burr was great.
Great movie
“It won’t fit you” “that’s the poooiiint” lmfao
Pete Davidson is just a natural, his timing is right on time and impeccable. There is nothing you could say to him to bring him down, that is how you roll. He absorbs and returns fire as a bit that just hits.
Pete is a classic guy, love this dude. I have nothing bad to say about him, hope to meet him one of these days
You know you are funny when u make 9 11 jokes and people laugh
It's because he's dad died there and he is ok with that. If a son of a victim feels ok making a 911 joke people don't care that much.
@@guilhermefranco2930 *died
“You have no idea what I’m trying to prevent”
I got chills with the coolio line “he ain’t leaving anytime soon” rip
i saw tears in his eyes maaaaan
You can see tears in his eyes while he was talking about his dad 🥺
No hes just high
"Kings of Staten Island" is a great movie!.
@@johnnyparsnips7641 Ha!!! Was going to my exact question! Cause honestly he's the main reason I want to see the movie.
@@johnnyparsnips7641 Did you see it? If so was Bill Burr great??
@@clydedrexler7080 burr was great and the film is fantastic!
"Big time adolescence" too..
I made this joke at the end. "Broaden your horizons, instead if smoking Staten Island weed smoke Manhattan weed." My actual joke
Love love love Pete Davidson he is extremely talented, funny and cute and humble 💖💖
Can't believe he pulled Ariana and Kim in the same lifetime.
Man's going to the moon!
I love Pete’s energy so much, he always manages to put a smile on my face even when I’m having a hard time. His segments in Weekend Update are always my favourite part of the show. He was also great in The King Of Staten Island and Big Time Adolescence. I wish him all the best for the years to come.
Pete is my hero.
His humor is sick, twisted, and utterly brilliant.
The 9/11 jokes were naked and honest.
I was crying in sympathy and laughing out loud at the same time.
❤️🤣❤️🤣❤️
You can literally see the tears in his eyes talking about his father... 😭
Having BPD and his vocal nature about it or just how he feels helps. I lost my father too and his comedy helps. It’s basically the same
It’s sick how the stage gets bigger every time
Pete: my favorite rapper is coolio
MGK: *_distant sobbing_*
I know your joking, but these clips are old, and they were not friends then. They might have met on Wild N Out at this point, but they actually became friends while filming The Dirt years later.
@@user-ox2il1nh9v you know "their" joking. Like their kinda joking
"yes u did, thats your boi" can't stop watch it
9:30 RIP coolio
One of the ballsiest human beings of all time
Really???
You haven't heard jeselnik or Jeff ross
He’s decent but not the ballsiest 🤦🏾♂️
@@John-Doe-Yo some of y’all clearly don’t understand basic english. I said he’s ONE of the ballsiest humans
@@scottyidiotic you’re right
if i were a celebrity the first person i’d wanna form a friendship with would be pete
“I just turned 20 and it’s over” I cannnn relateeeee🤣🤣
Comedy Genius! 🎭❤️
When he’s talking about moving out and turning 20. I felt that.
I love that he’s just standing there
half of me wants to say "yeah all comedians stand up and stand there while they do stand up comedy" but the way he is standing i totally get what you're saying.
🧍♂️
Love Pete so much absolutely gorgeous ❤️
You know this might be a reach but his posture, his demeanor, his ability to say dark jokes w a straight face and to use pain he’s dealt with to bring laughter to others, I feel like he could be an option for the Joker in some kind of Batman movie or show, he just has that type of swag to him.
is it just me or is it that when he’s telling jokes about his dad that he kinda looks sad. like he’s trying to make jokes to feel better but it’s making it worse. idk that’s just a personal thought
I do that. And well I don’t know him, but that is what i feel. Haha
I’m gonna be honest, most people who’ve been through a lot of hardships, and most comedians in general, make jokes to mask/deal (and occasionally not deal if they’re a class clown/focus on making others happy) with their issues.
It could be that he uses it as a mask to deal with the aftermath of his dad’s death since, like he said, he was too young to fully understand what his dad’s death meant. Especially with the way his dad died as well.
I’m not gonna say he is sad or not because I don’t know, only he does. Perhaps he just remembers whatever he’s been told about or what memories he does have of his dad while he’s telling those particular jokes.
I don’t think making jokes makes anything worse, I often use humor for the same reasons, but I’m also seeing a therapist, so maybe I don’t count. I like and have a very dark sense of humor and am a very sarcastic person because of my own issues.
Some people find and use humor to help them process or deal with their issues, like I said, and it can work for some people. I don’t think that making jokes immediately means that they’re sad or not dealing with their issues correctly. All it means is that they’re literally acknowledging that something has happened (either to them or in their life) and making it lighthearted and not so heavy that it makes everyone else feel bad/shitty, or depressed. It’s them saying that I’m okay, otherwise they might not be making jokes about that topic.
Pete is a master of hiding the truth. He , like many of our beloved comedians is sad. John Candy, Robin Williams, Rodney Dangerfield, , the list goes on...
no doi.
I do the same thing
“ i know ur single. im not the guy”😭😭😭 help i cant breathe cjdjsjjs
2014 Pete Davidson at 1:20: “I have no game with women.” 2021 Pete Davidson “hold my beer.”
I love him so much
Welcome back to another episode of: Where quarentine has brought me.
*lockdown
@@helloeveryone5870 "WHERE QUARENTINE HAS BROUGHT ME" I know the name of my own segment bud 😉
Still living in a pandemic
Pete Davidson funny af. His Chad skits on SNL are great
That Coolio bit aged like milk left out of the fridge in a heatwave…
Pete Davidson is hilarious! He's one of the main reasons why I still watch SNL.