How Opening Our Relationship Broke Us Up | {THE AND} Gari & Raheem (Part 2)
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- Опубликовано: 9 сен 2024
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In the second part of their conversation, Gari and Raheem dig deeper into the dissolution of their relationship and how their communication, independence, and Nate (Gari’s new partner) all caused different tensions after opening their relationship. Don’t miss their whole conversation, check out Part 1 here: bit.ly/GariRahe...
We'd like to thank Gari & Raheem for participating openly & vulnerably in our project. We appreciate what they've shared with us and hope you do as well.
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With the Participation of | Gari & Raheem
How Opening Our Relationship Broke Us Up | {THE AND} Gari & Raheem (Part 2)
#theskindeep #exes #polyamory
Remember to catch the first part of their conversation here, to get the whole story: bit.ly/GariRaheemP1
The Skin Deep really hope you come to Jamaica one day 🖤🖤
It looks like he’s holding back a lot of emotion. As if he had to really prepare to sit in front of her. I can tell he had a delicate soul.
Delicate soul yes, but not too much emotion held back. I was preparing to really listen and not simply wait for my turn to speak. I think I wanted to listen without judgment and just really hear what she was saying and not try to limit the depth of the responses on her end, you know? Thank you so much!
@@raheemlogan2996 you are a very insightful person and i would love to have a conversation sometime
RadiantRuby. Yessssss
@@raheemlogan2996 Your empathetic energy and gentle soul was shining through the whole thing. Wonderful to watch, thank you.
They was weird...ijs🤷🏿♂️
Where do they find all these deep ass men? I dont know any man in my life who wouldnt just answer "I dunno" 😂
😂😂😂
beckkybeckky 🤣 it’s cuz y’all don’t really want that
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣best comment of all time.
Those type of men are out there and you don't have to look for them. If your choice in a man was on point you would not have to ask. Check your self first. You get back what you put out.
Most of us have been burned for opening up. It's a double edge sword you can not be vulnerable with most people as a man and still have the respect. We have been told to be strong and man up and get over it, like having a penis makes me non human. Women want men to be vulnerable for them and about them but it's a different story when shit gets real and we need a shoulder to lean on too. Plenty of men have had that used against them later by the person that they trusted with the most fragile part of them. Men are not taught to handle emotional trauma and it sucks, and that's why we have so many broken toxic people in the world now. We lean towards logic because it's really all we have that is acceptable to society as manly.
Raheem has such a beautiful spirit & energy. i love how affirming, loving & gentle he was with Gari. beautiful to witness such a legacy of love between exes. very few make it here. it matters.
Raheem is the man.
@@ChandraNYC whooooops! thanks. thought that was an interesting name for a female :) *editing*
So wow he is
Truly Very few, make it here
thank you for your comment
What a man! What a woman! No, scrape that. What strong human beings for for talking so openly about their shadow sides. I have such strong admiration for her for owning and embracing her dark side. I admire him for holding the space for her to talk about how ugly her behavior sometimes feels even to her. You can tell she’s been working so hard to reach that level of equanimity within herself. If you read this Gary, I might not know your whole story, but I see you. I love you. You are doing better than most because you see yourself. You are lovable.
Rudi!!!!! thank you so much for your comment. I really have been working so hard on myself and to be seen in just bliss. thank you
@@GariTalks you two are definitely still in love
The way he smiled after she told him she loved him back. 😩 You could tell he missed that a bit.
Ayana Williams my heart melted at that part, he loves her so much 😩😍
I hope he is winning in love and life. He gave her all the closer she needed to be great. I hope the sun is shinning on homie.
@@MrJduke40 ❤️beautifully put
@@MrJduke40 I appreciate that a lot, and it's shining pretty bright. Thank you so much for the love
Yeah I did haha. Regardless of how the romantic part ended up, it's a warm feeling when you feel like you have a friend back in your life that you lost for a period. It feels good
Raising the voice/yelling when you try to have a conversation is a relationship killer. The other side will shut down or shout louder. If you cant work on things without shouting youre screwed.
That's so true
Crazy part is.. alot of us have been conditioned to believe that is normal..
Exactly! During a shouting match it’s always the case of people listening to respond and not to understand. And this manifests itself in any type of relationship - intimate or romantic. Anytime someone begins yelling, I calmly asks, “Why are you yelling?” That question typically makes them pause and realize how combative they’re being, and they reconsider their tone.
@@msatutude17 Yep. I consider myself a shut down.
@@AmariHetep Do you ever get the classic " IM NOT YELLING. YOURE NOT LISTENING!"
Seek to understand then to be understood. I think thats 90% of it. I think ppl are afraid to understand because they think it means they cant have their thoughts on it.
One of the truest quotes is ‘hurt people, hurt people’. You can tell in her life she’s dealt with a lot of pain and I hope she finds the healing.
Lyn W Yeah, around the 8:30 mark he mentioned a sexual assault.
thanks for your comment
Gari François you’re welcome! Your skin is beautiful by the way!
@@lnm3317 thank you Lyn!
@@GariTalks I know it's not my business but I have so many questions
It’s so sad how you can meet such a beautifully, amazing person before their time. Before they’ve had their time to grow and discover themselves. At least the Love is still there ❤️
Well put
Well said!
thanks for your comment! that is incredibly well put :) for me though, it's not so sad because I am grateful for the time I spent with Rah to allow for us both to grow and discover ourselves - otherwise, we would not be the people we are today. I'm happy the Love is still there too
@@GariTalks so true! Sometimes people in our lives ate only meant to be there to teach us, share a memory, or help us disciver different aspects of ourselves.. thank you for your vulnerable transparency
@@msatutude17 thank you for watching and for providing your insights
"Do I like to hurt people because I'm really good at it." This really struck a cord with me.
thank you for your comment
For me it's not that I'm 'good' at it per se. It's more that it happens so frequently that it makes it seem that way.
@Joe Ann thank you for this because it surely resonates sometimes
@Joe Ann I have worked so hard to love myself and heal through a lot of things, but I can still feel that I have some heavy ass weight around my hurt pertaining to my Father wound. And the misery comes from being suicidal in my awakening process several years ago and having no support and having to like claw my way back into caring about life. So yeah, I be struggling sometimes
Stop hurting people
She doesn't seem to love herself yet. He is light to her dark but he does not have enough love to heal her...I run from this type now. Too high of a mountain to climb. Wishing you both peace...
I'm in this situation now, but I don't know what to do. I feel like I promised the world, I don't want to hurt them, but I feel drained. If I stay will it get better or am I just hurting for nothing?
Claire Fisher spot on. I had one like her. Unfortunately for her, there are too many women that are easier to deal with.
Stephen Morrison hey you. I was there and I feel the pain. I had to leave a child behind. If you don’t go, now, you’ll be worse off. Find the strength. If you go - you’re not weak. You deserve to be happy.
@@rainboemonk it will Not get better. I'm sorry. I Agree with others.
thanks for your comment!
When a woman calls herself savage and evil , it is time to remove yourself asap from that person. She needs serious help that no man can provide the solutions. Very beautiful but also very confused.
What a person then needs is love patience and understanding coming from a person that can hold thwie own boundaries and not be overwhelmed with the self-critism of the other. And also a therapist yes
I wish I knew that 4 years after dating the mother of my children.
@@julianfleming5627 damn!
I hope all gets well man, there is always a solution to most problems.
I think he mentioned she was sexually assaulted too
@Michael Reynolds Bra you are 100% correct!!! she WILL show you better than she can tell you.
Get Out
I can relate to Raheem... It's like loving a person that does not love themselves can be so exhausting. I hope that they both find peace. 🙏🏾
It is so exhausting...
He seems so at peace and it's very admirable
I love that he lifted her up in the end and assured her that our trials breed triumph and that she was capable of being everything she wants to be for herself first before anyone else and to recognize the beauty in who she is ‼️
thank you grandly for your comment!
Gari François your welcome love
Girl, I've been there too. I hated myself for a long time because of the pain I caused people. I grew up thinking I had to be perfect, so when I fucked up I felt devastated. Over time I learned that many people are willing to forgive and to forgive myself as well. Sometimes I think when we know how powerful we are, we look for ways to stifle it or demonize it. Each of us are needed and carry important stories. Sending love
This response is so thoughtful. Thank you, Madison.
Raheem is amazing. I think he is saying all the right things to release her from whatever pain, guilt, or trauma she’s had over the ending of their relationship.
I see why they didnt mix. She had internal battles within herself that needed to get out and he or any man wasnt it to fix it and that's ok....
thanks for your comment!
@@GariTalks ❤
Man or not no one can fix you unless it’s you. They can be there whilst you heal but they can’t fix you.
I think she into women, in my opinion....
@@_Shxrday like the coldplay song fix you, sometimes you try to fix somebody and you yourself and up nlbeing the one whe need to be fixed. 😪
He deserved so much better, and he deserves so much now. He seems like such a sweet, gentle, smart, and understanding soul. She was clearly toxic and abusive. I hope he’s found happiness and can eventually find someone that loves him in the way he deserves it and needs.
I can understand you are clearly doing in the space of wishing good for him . Well that's good . But tagging her as toxic or abusive is equally harming her ( if only she might read this text ) which you might not want to do . You are your self doing it one of the thing a "toxic" perspn would probably do .. judge them and label them . hope you get what I am trying to say .. she herself is hurting with so much self blame which is difficult suitation to be in by itself.
Pooja Shree Toxic is toxic. Just because you’re hurting or going through something doesn’t dismiss you of taking accountability for being a toxic or harmful person. She’s toxic, simple as that.
I Think He Got Exactly what he Deserved To Grown Him Up As A Man. The Whole Reason He’s Able to Express His Feelings So Well Is Because Of Her (He Says That In The End Of The Video) She’s WASN’T TOXIC Nor Abusive but was growing apart from Him Figuring things out on her OWN. There’s nothing wrong with that
@@poojashree7794if man did the same think maim then what will you say then maim? Can you explain
I need him to call me. He's a keeper
7:10 he looks like there's an ocean of emotions and reasons he wants to share with her, but he is still healing from what happened in the past. She's expressing everything and maybe he still feels small/unsafe with her. Even now.
His spirit his vibe everything was so calm and positive. He is so perfect OMG. Like I feel like he has a hard time opening up. I feel like he just let things go and he puts his woman before his feelings.
How he affirms her, how she takes responsibility. So much grace. Has made me re-think how've treated my exes. And just discovered this channel, so healing.
Just goes to show that one cannot love another if they don't love themselves. It also goes to show that the grass looks greener on the other side when one doesn't tend to their own lawn. Expectations of perfection is the downfall for humanity. Every single relationship has its ups and downs . Its like this is the " give up quickly" generation.
You don't know what you have till you lose it
See Now!!This what the WHOLE WIDE WORLD NEEDS..Honest,Open,clear COMMUNICATION...BEAUTIFUL JUST ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!!!
thanks you grandly for your comment!
This was so nuanced...so poignant...I saw myself in both parties at different times of my life. Beautiful dialogue from beautiful and growing people.
This guy is so dame brave and loving to have kept her despite all she put her through. He deserves a medal
He has a calm n sweet soul
This clearly shows how important it is to love yourself, which is hard for a lot of us to do. This touched me. We always think we are worse then we are, we can't be that bad for someone loved Us.
I look at her, listen to her and I find a person that needs to heal. She has heavy masculine energy as well.
They say women can absorb the y chromosome (dna) of every man they have slept with. Which can cause the masculine tendencies.
He needs his mic turned all the way up.
'Thinking about how the relationship was resolved can change the way the relationship was to be'
always thought about this but couldnt phrase it. so so true 🌸
thanks for your comment!
This touched my soul, especially when she acknowledged her mean personality trait. More women need to realize it and more couples need to have this discussion peacefully & respectfully.
the beauty in their closure! I wish them both the best!
thank you for your comment!
i’m crying because i never thought someone thought that they are evil too
That's maturity. Accepting you need help
Many women (and men) who have been sexually assaulted carry a lot of anger and take it out on the world. Makes me sad that she thought she was evil. She just needed help and compassion and a way to handle all that pain and anger so she didn’t take it out on others.
Wait, she wanted an open relationship (he avoided the conversations), she had a side piece which turned primary and then left him - From his personality and the way they often argued and how he couldn’t voice his opinions because of her temper; I could now see that this guy was walked all over on by this girl, 😩 feels bad man
Bob Faggot Yeah, and because of double standards, very few people will acknowledge how toxic she was. What’s beautiful though is that he doesn’t seem jaded or resentful towards her.
Bob Faggot Thank you, i was watching the video, then scrolled down to read the comments and then thought am I crazy or am I the only one that sees that this woman is clearly TOXIC as hell; wish this guy all the best and I hope he finds a nice woman
Noo, if you watch part 1 you'll see it was him that instigated the change in the relationship, believing in that idea of letting each other grow and explore.. I think its ended up costing them both dearly... It needed more questions.. I feel... I S0 WISH these 2 well xxx
Him initiating an open relationship is what happened
@@dshirachiobi9999 unfortunately I've been there and the reason I did it was I just needed to see what she was going to pick since I loved her and I needed to know (and for her to find out for herself)if I was going to take the next step in the realtionship and I didnt want to be a road block in the person I loved life I just didnt expect how fast and easily I would be erased from said life
Such an authentic model that reminds us how love can persist, even when the relationship doesn't. We can honor past connections as well as ALL parts of ourselves by acknowledging that sometimes the love never completely dissipates, and that's okay.
These are two people that broke up amd grew up. I never support exes getting back together but they will do well when they get back together. None of them is playing a blame game but taking responsibility, that's maturity right there
thank you!!
She actually has another video on this channel with her current boyfriend of 4 years (the guy she cheated on with Raheem). . She’s into polyamory which is why I think they are all confused. 🤷🏽♀️
@@Shavier777 i just saw that, and the guy said the time she disappointed him was when she had sex outside their relationship. I still sence she is confused about what she want from a relationship. My heart just dropped because she is so beautiful and articulate i wish she figure out what she want and just grow with it because sometimes these relationships games of back and forth can bite people in the tail and leave them lonely when they are ready to actually settle down and all these charming men are not easy to find anymore
kukuakukua she’s actually into polyamory which is really another name for sleeping with as many people as you want- but telling your “main” squeeze that you did it. Supposed to be no strings attached. But this is one hot mess of lust. With all her intelligence it’s just a cover of confusion and hurt. She’ll never find what she’s looking for in man.
@@Shavier777 i couldn't agree with you more and it's sad. I hope she find true sex worth. Sex with as many people as she want is just going to damage her some more
She owned all her b.s and he still lifted and encouraged her! They both needed this closure/healing conversation to move forward! I loved that they ended it with the biggest smiles 🤗❤
The last smile that they gave to each other at the end though...
The stoicism on that man’s face...wooo
Agree
who else had to google the word 'stoicism' after reading this comment? lol
What's stoicism?
I thibk he's listening. I also think he also knows EXACTLY what and who he is dealing with.
Juliet Boakye Yiadom, it means "without expression".
These 2 beings truly love each other. How deep they are at heart is so genuine. If they are not together, I will be mad
i relate to this woman so much. the guilt of putting yourself first will eat u alive when u care & over analyse so much
Damn. I cried watching this because I relate so much to this chick. Not as far as having a side or whatever. But everything she said
WE need a part 3 of this!
Oh my...this is so touching. Such an intense and beautiful discussion. Then THAT ending. 😂😭
I absolutely admire her voice. If "an old soul" was a voice. Minutes into the video. Now lemme watch.
I recognize the pain in her eyes. I've experienced that pain. By the grace of God I'm learning to move past it...I pray she does too.
Jesus is the only one that can heal us from this pain and brokeness..we are all broken more or less and sinners who need a saviour.
@@FlawlesZMa Amen! 🙏
Tracey Banda 🙏❤️
When he said I love you and she said she loved him, it made me melt.🥺 I don’t think I could ever do this with my ex... she’s so scared to face me because she knows she hurt me badly.
Such a beautifully insightful discussion. I think sometimes we need these painful experiences to help us move forward, grow toward something new and change for the better. I wish them both peace in their journeys
thank you for your comment!
When she talks about her negative thinking,her bluntness/direct approach and her "brutalness" with the ability to cause pain to people and just knowing it....I'm Her 🤯
The bond! the genuine ability to be able to talk so freely, without holding back emotion... I LOVE THIS! they are both amazing!
Her: “I’m probably gonna cry again.”
Him: **looks down and sighs**
😂😂😂
Time stamp
MissCoco Bulls 4:01
@@AmariHetep thanks
lmao facts
I'm curious as to how they found a sexual attraction to each other but I can see that they have a deep understanding and appreciation for each other that is beyond words. I can see they were meant to be lifetime friends
“Cute from the outside... But inside" (killed me) 😥 I broke up with my girl that I dated for 7years and it's been like 3years that I'm trynna get over but I can't 😥😥
Why you break up from her if you don't mind?
Why did you break up after 7 years? 😥
I never did...she left me 😥 I begged and cried but ..😑 she made death look easier
@@barrycahope9460 I cannot fathom what you must've gone through in that time 😓
Why did she take that decision?
@@barrycahope9460 That's one messed up love-break up story.
7:20 That was very touching. Such a kind man:')
Maybe it’s because it’s a painful topic for her - but I feel like Gari danced around the fact that she deeply hurt Raheem.
He’s soooo handsome
Thank you so much!
How am I just stumbling on this series...this my 2nd couple. I actually thought about sending clip to my ex...but she might take it the wrong way🤦🏿♂️🤷🏿♂️
These two are so clearly spoken with their ideas. Loved hearing this conversation
thanks for your comment!
it's so beautiful to see that a relationship doesn't have to be Happy Ever After to be life changing. they wouldn't be the people they are today if it wasn't for one another. this was very illuminating to me and my relationship and i'm very grateful they shared this conversation with the and team and the public. also they're both drop dead gorgeous!!!
thank you for your comment!
Wooooooooow. Gari is gorg but Raheems light shines sooooo bright. What a beautiful Soul. Thanks for sharing.
I was waiting to here what maybe the major issue @8:26 when I heard him say sexual assault. I felt it something like that may have happened but when he said it I knew it’s a serious issue she’s dealing with. I’m praying she can eventually overcome her issues. Otherwise she’ll continually push men away...I hope both of them are doing better.
Her smile is life I swear!!!
the looks on both of you after you said you loves each other is pricesless
I really respect you two for your thoughtful and emotional responses. It is refreshing to see. In order for us to express yourselves, we don't have to be yelling and cursing and being judgmental. WE all just want to be heard, seen and acknowledged. Kudos to you 2!!! And, Gari, your melanin is popping!! Natural beauty
They were both so young.. thank goodness they were able to talk about impact they had on each other..
Definitely relatable, Gari. I think navigating from monogamy to a open relationship or polyamory is super difficult. I’ve realized some similar things about myself, and how I treated my partner at that time.
“Do I like hurting people? Bc I’m pretty good at it”
thank you for your comment Nia!
This was sad. She's angry inside? Not sure, glad she noticed. hope she changes for the better
Her smile! 😍 They seem extremely self aware, and that is refreshing.
We can always be our own worst critic- we shouldn’t beat ourselves up because we’re not perfect. However we can always use the guideline of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.
I feel bad for them because there is obviously a lot of love between them, but at the same time I feel like if you open up your relationship, this is kinda expected! I might be old fashioned but relationships are sacred!
thanks for your comment! no need to feel bad for us, we are a-okay
@@GariTalks I am glad you are! It takes a strong person to open up like you two did! Much respect.
@@kall1010 thank you love!
Geez...these people are so vulnerable and i am so moved by these conversations. They may not be a match but they have love. I’m 50 and have never found love.
thank you so much for your comment!
Thank you so much for your comment!
Joe Ann thank you for this
Pray for your soulmate.
What a thoughtful lovely man. 💖
I pray she in a better place today. What an accountability on her part and for Mr. for listening without judging.
Gari still sounds a bit self-centred. Might be a coping mechanism.
Not a bit…a LOT.
This was a tough one to watch .... dug up some memories of mine.
No I'm not fessing up.
thank you for your comment
@@GariTalks welcome❤
It is really amazing to see how with so many of these episodes the individuals seem to still show so much affection for one another. Makes me wonder what could've gone so wrong for them to be sitting on opposite sides of room and not together 🤔
I just bought this game and I cannot WAIT to receive it. My partner and I have been through so much. He’s in rehab now and I can’t wait till he gets out so we can play this game together. I think it will bring a lot of healing
One word... BEAUTIFUL 💕
Edited to add... I need a part 3
thank you for your comment!!
He got that Kawhi Leonard vibe going on 😂
I really feel she just thought he was weak and didn't have what it took to make her really see herself...
Such a gorgeous smile she has. And a gorgeous sensibility and ownership too.
She’s the kind of person I can’t like...
I'm glad she acknowledges the meanness side of her..... hopefully it will help her change it for better and for good.
Damn...her beautiful smile👍❤
thank you for your comment! I always acknowledge it and am always working to love that mean ol little gari inside
@Joe Ann yes true
My guy definitely deserves better service such a gentle soul
I related her on the level on hurting people and the guilt because of it. Wondering if you like hurting people, if you’re evil.. I felt that
Everytime this man gulped it made me nervous!.....
Ladies Is it more important to let your man know how you feel and your depth of emotion or get an honest open answer from him?
James that's really good advice🥰
Mmm.. i think both are equally important
Yes, both are necessary. Why would you want an honesty you have to conceal important parts of yourself to receive?
Both
Both are important but honesty (truth) helps individuals with the direction of their feelings. I wish some men of my past would have been more honest with me.. it would have helped me make better decisions..
Beautiful people! I love this conversation 🥰😭
thanks for your comment!
she has a golden light about her
Gari takes Ownership on the Chin like a CHAMP!
Tf. 😳this felt like a remake of what the end of my story should’ve looked like.
My heart! 😫❤️❤️❤️❤️
"Do I like to hurt people? Because I'm really good at it.."
Omg I love them.
Everyone is saying he’s so deep- but in reality it’s just that he was provided space
What a beautiful soul he is!
Beautiful narrative, beautiful humans, thank you for sharing 💕
thank you for your comment!