Meanwhile… Wheel Falls Off Plane | NJ’s Pickle Dunker | Scorpion Bites Man
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- Опубликовано: 20 сен 2024
- Meanwhile… Our airliners are falling apart, a pickle fan in New Jersey did the unthinkable, a hotel guest in Las Vegas got a nasty bite, and archaeologists proved that lipstick tubes haven’t changed much over the past four millenia.
#Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.
BOEING!!! - ... was the sound of that wheel bouncing off the ground😂...
Comment of the day. 😂
Car. It bounced off a car in the employee parking lot.
@@aderi31415 Okaaaay... so it's "BOEINGGGG... CRONK-CRASH, KABLOING!!!!" ("Nooo, my wonderful, relatively new car, I just paid off the lease!!!😭)"... --> Happy now?? Boy, ... and I thought, I am nitpicky...
Did the wheel fall on a whistle blower? A coincidence I'm sure. 😅
@@Sardikar Dark, but timely.
As that wheel plummets to the ground it reminds us why leaning back and assuming "the free market corrects itself" is a passive attitude that let corporations get away with shit like that.
Exactly
The GOP gets paid big bucks to pass deregulation laws.
I am here reminded of the fate of the ship poetically named _Herald of Free Enterprise_ .
Can a market being driven by corporate interests really be considered free?
Every time there's a derailed train full of chemicals all the Republican voters desperately look for ways to blame the Chinese.
For BOTH of my Colonoscopies the song playing on the piped in music as I was "going under" was Abba's Dancing Queen. For the 2nd one, I made sure to sing The Ramones "I Wanna Be Sedated" as they wheeled me into the operating theatre.
What a coincident, I am just finishing my second dose of prep. I too will be singing ‘I wanna be sedated’
No specific music for mine last month, but I do recall saying, just as I was slipping into unconsciousness, "Huh. It's orange and wavy this time, like lava." while my eyes were closed.
Cool!My ringtone for my daughter is the same Ramones' song!
ok?
Have to remember that when the time comes
We reached a state where a wheel falling off of a plane while it's taking off and it being caught on camera is just a short side note in Meanwhile.
Right??? Wtf is going on at Boeing? They being bought out by Rossiya Airlines?? 🥴🥴
"At Rossiya Airlines, plane flies you!!"
Diversity equity and inclusion. There are people whose job it is to point out they have too many white employees.
That’s because this is caused by DEI. Can’t point that out.
Did the whale survive? I mean it's extremely wishful thinking to hope it survived, but crazy things happen?
To quote former United States President Theodore Roosevelt: "No man is above the law and no man is below it; nor do we ask any man's permission when we ask him to obey it. Obedience to the law is demanded as a right, not asked as a favor." The judges who administer justice in our countries must be seen as ethical and subject to meaningful correction when it is necessary. For Nothing less than the rule of law is at stake.
Well said.
I wish all our legal problems were merely illicit pickle dunkers.
What?
It's self explanatory @@TylerBaraby
@@TylerBaraby(edited) lol
🎶 The wheels on the plane go round & round, round & round, round & *_whoops!_*
You had a great start to this. I added to it. I hope you don’t mind. I credited you for it. 😂😂😂 funny as hell if it wasn’t so serious.
🤣😂😂🤣😅
🎶 The wheels on the plane go round & round, round & round, then fall on the ground!
John Oliver did a good section covering how Boeing are all about prioritizing profits over safety.
My husband worked for Boeing here in Seattle from 99-2011 and he said that segment was 100% accurate.
Diversity equity and inclusion. Aren’t you glad everyone working on the planes isn’t white?
Capitalism with wings.
Welcome to ALL corporations
@@ThatOpalGuySome are worse than others, oral guy.
Heh, even the wheel was smart enough to get off that flight.
The scorpion 🦂 was just looking for the complimentary nuts 🥜 that come with the Room 😁
First surf trip to Central America, we were def Economy-minded. Until the clerk at one casita showed us our room with a key in one hand, a broom in the other.
Spent ten minutes sweeping everywhere.
When i thanked her for her attention to cleanliness, she said, “Oh, room clean! Sweep por Escorpian!
Didn’t sleep the entire night😬
My teacher told us, in New Mexico, she was wearing long skirts and swept up a scorpion.
The wheels on the plane fall off and off 🎶 ✈️
It landed in the employee's parking lot. 🤣
You picked a fine time to leave me
Loose wheel
Now we know where they've been sourcing "like new" bolts for the doors
OMG. Love this guys! 😂😂😂😂
"But it's a good thing that we're flying and won't need them till we land, alllll dayyyy looonnng"
Scrapple getting a meanwhile mention, Pennsylvanians are here for it
Now, if he'll mention livermush from NC. (I happen to love scrapple. :)
As a Brit, wanting to extend my life through education, I had to google what Scrapple is. I wish I hadn't. Buuuhuugh.
@@martinmorgan4215 pan fried scrapple is delicious! if you have not had a scrapple egg and cheese sandwich on potato bread, you have not lived. but you have to toast the bread on butter in the pan like you are making a grilled cheese sandwich, but then put the scrapple and eggs in there too.
now if you are really, really read to live, have 3 slices of crispy bacon on the other side of the egg.
you're going to have to run some extra laps, but its worth it.
@@martinmorgan4215 it is absolutely disgusting knowing what it is and reading the ingredients list, but I promise you, it's so tasty if you ever get the chance to try it.
At least the doctors' reaction to the colonoscopy wasn't, "Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?"
Always looking forward to Meanwhile. 😊
well, it's either meanwhile comedy or him interviewing idiots from america.
you know you can fast foward about 2 minutes so you dont have to hear all that silly stuff to start with?
I loves me some Meanwhile, but I'd also love to see Colbert's Midnight Confessions and the Big Furry Hat skits return on occasion.
and that one where there were 2 heads in 1 box XD
haha totally forgot about that one@@malcolm5514
When he said "This is what Nerd Years looks like" they should've put up a photo of John Oliver.
Oliver and Colbert, they could be twins.
@@paul5683a better written Parent Trap?
Always love the writers trying to trip Stephen up with the Meanwhile preamble
I'd personally appreciate an audio book of all preambles
@@Jess-bu4is💯😂 Legendary stuff
Someone writes these?
@@047678Are you kidding? "Trash scrapple of news" is pure poetry.
@@047678did you think Stephen ad libs them on the spot or what?
You picked a fine time to leave me’Loose Wheel’!!!😂
Nice.
At least it wasn't a Loose Seal
🤣😂🤣
"we could see the tires fall right off the plane..."
"Goodyear?"
"No.. the worst."
Sometime I wish they would let the internet hear the band play a song all the way through!
in all fairness, Stephen makes a good case for nerd years not being a bad thing. especially when Evie makes an appearance.
Special reminder to anyone planning trips, you can filter out your flights by aircraft. Do not fly with Boeing until they change up their quality control. Jon Oliver made a piece about why it's important not to fly Boeing right now. It's basically a death wish. I switch my airline tickets for august to be with a different aircraft. Boeing is currently being run by terrible people prioritizing money over safety. You need to look out for yourself because the government has made it clear, they will not step in. Look out for yourself when flying.
This is nothing new for Boeing. Their "Starliner" space capsule on what was supposed to be it's last unmanned test flight in 2019 missed the space station and Boeings response? "We know why it missed so we are calling it a success". Fortunately for the astronauts that were supposed to ride on it NASA did an investigation and found 87 things that had to be fixed. The next mission was a "success" BUT two crucial systems were on the 3rd and last BACKUP unit by the end of the mission.
Other problems. Too many valve failures to launch. Tape holding the electrical system together that could ignite during flight (some they replaced some they just covered with other tape). A harness for the parachutes that if one parachute failed to deploy WOULD BREAK OFF leaving NO PARACHUTE! These were found AFTER the mission that reached the station. So what other defects are there?
It STILL hasn't had a manned flight but in spite of multiple other failures they plan the 1st crew launch in May of this year. Should be scrapped.
Did you hear that a Boeing whistleblower died recently?
Road deaths per passenger mile is 600 times higher than scheduled airlines. Why don't you write an essay on on never getting into a car now?
Please learn some basic statistics. I’m not defending Boeing’s terrible, shortsighted management, but ZERO people have died in domestic flights this year. You are far, far more likely to die driving to the airport.
Living in Alaska there’s no other way out 😢
The writers must have so much fun writing "meanwhile" intros!
"vagabond trash scrapple of news..." I never tire of Colbert's what-ever-you-call-this 🙂 !!!
Good thing some of us love nerds. 🥰🥰🥰🥰
You can add years to your life with education, but it will be beset with existential dread at the state of the world's dumb people in charge.
Thank you for summing this up so nicely! I am beset with existential dread re: who's in charge every day.
Yes, that
Truth soooo much 😔
Thanks Genie for my wish come true
True story: decades ago we checked into a Korean hotel. We had no language in common. They handed us our room key, a rope and two gas masks. We still don't know why.
Especially depending on what Decades ago' means - more than likely a point they were concerned about attacks using chemical weapons, with the gas masks being for if an alarm came on, or possibly even in the event of fire to stave off passing out from smoke inhalation if unable to get out of the room and had to wait for rescue. As to the rope, not knowing the length, it could be any number of things like a means to repel to a lower level in the event of a fire to escape it or for any number of makeshift things during some kind of disaster to some very dark alternatives in the face of the same disasters. The Korean War is technically a 'Frozen Conflict' - the North and South are both technically still at war as no peace treaty or the like was ever actually signed, just an armistice that stopped the actual armed conflict and led to prisoner exchanges, the DMZ, etc, and so could go hot again any moment.
True story: When I was stationed in Korea not even one decade ago, we had to carry gas masks everywhere when in the north of the country. When I deployed to Iraq, the first thing we did was turn them in to the arms room because they weren't needed.
Dang, that Host was well prepared! 5 Stars!
The worst part is that scorpions are quite common and very difficult to see.
Many people have been in rooms where they couldn’t see any, then they turned on their portable UV light and they saw many because they glow green.
I have verified that in wildness areas where I found one, it does glow green.
Thank you for those images burned in my brain!
@@lindayanez9519 sorry. It’s just part of the natural world that we live in. I prefer to know than to live in a sweet fantasy.
I liked the Netflix movie Damsel. The characters lived in the real world and made adult choices.
Think of the Grimm Fairy Tales. They were told to children so help them survive a beautiful but sometimes terrifying world. We all are called to face our fears - no one gets a free pass. If you have loved ones, cling to them. I made some bad choices and now I am paying for my mistakes.
I am sure that you are strong, brave, and intelligent. You are in control.
Gimme all them nerd years boiiiiiiiiiiii 💪💪💪📚🤓
2:55 "Snake bit my taint"
So you _can_ say "taint" on late night TV! Get that information to the After Midnight crew, before they pay that fine.
Lmbo some of the best meanwhile jokes I’ve seen in this one. Great stuff. Shaquille O’atmeal is classic
I spit out my oatmeal while hearing the Shaquille O'Atmeal joke.
i need to go back to bed....i thought he said a whale fell from the airplane lmao
*Whale!*
Just wait for next week!
Best post today! LMAO 🤣🤣
Where I come from that's how most people pronounce wheels. 🇮🇪
"I got a flat whale"
It was accompanied by a pot of petunias whose final thought was, "Oh no, not again."
Come onnnnnn! The 'colonoscopy footage' was *right there!* Running from the giant ball in the tunnel! Gahhhh fire someone!
Nerd years are the good years lol
That Indiana State player is also nicknamed "Larry Blurred" because of his coke bottle glasses prescription. 😂
At 4:41, I was truly expecting the clip of Indiana Jones running away from a massive boulder
Cream Abduljabar 😁😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
“Nerd Years” 🤘🏼rock on! 🤓🎸🎉🥁🎤🤯
Hey, at least the doctor wasn't chased out of the colon by a giant boulder.
Scorpion bites man is not news. Man bites scorpion is news.
Sure it is. Scorpions usually sting. Their bite isn't poison.
You take one of those to the boys and then get back to us 😂
Scorpion stung man is, well.
Not if you've traveled to Thailand.
When the sting happens on the 14th floor of the Rio , 150 feet from the elevator, hundreds of yards from an outside door, miles across Vegas from the open desert, plus the guy gets stng in the nuts, that's news.
Stephen's lil freak out when he missed the timing on Arbys
Love the Meanwhile intro - one of my recent favs. "...the hobos I betrayed to the yard boss... ...the vagabond's trash scrapple..." 😂😂😂
The title "Pickle Dunker" got me , wouldn't be able to move on in life not knowing. 😅
Luckily, that incident wasn’t quite as bad as it sounds
@@gregbors8364 It was for the shop owners, if they had to throw out the rest of the pickles. Jeez, at least I hope they did.
The NJ deli should drop the charges. Think of all the free advertisement on local and national TV they are getting out of this event. To get this type of media exposure would cost them millions of dollars. That Deli got all of it for the cost of an almost empty jar of pickles.
@@Samael-Metzger Depends on the size of the container. I immediately thought of a pickle barrel, which is 50+ gallons. Perhaps it was much smaller. In any case, it's not the kind of publicity that would lure me in - yecchh!
The NJ deli should drop the charges. Think of all the free advertisement on local and national TV they are getting out of this event. To get this type of media exposure would cost them millions of dollars. That Deli got all of it for the cost of an almost empty jar of pickles.
Pardon me, I need to step away and cancel my upcoming trip to Las Vegas.
I wish that The Late Show would give us a full song from the The Late Show band once in a while. They are so tight!
Everclear does pair well with grape Koolaid. Personal low points in high school can come back and bite your butt😂
Doctors were exploring a dark cave for the colonoscopy, and chose the appropriate music.
Thought they should have used the clip for Indy running for his life out the tunnel entrance followed by the giant boulder-ball!
Pretty good-lookin' Nerd Years!
Superb lead into Meanwhile ^^^5 . 5 andALL that jazzzzzz
"In the hotel's defense, he ask for a 6am wake up"😂 that line made it worse like DAMN, OUCH!
The Colbert writing staff really shines when they have to come up with puny names. It gets me every time.
If Boeing made a submarine, it would come with a screen door. What the hell are they doing?
Extra funny to think they were referring to dates as "BC" when it was actually BC. 😄
If they had a cat, that lipstick was definitely found under someone’s refrigerator
That clip from Raiders gets A LOT of mileage on this show
Pale Russell is the GOAT - ghostliest of all times
I’m about Steven’s age. I can confirm the nerdiness increases.
Nerd years are the best years
The whistle-blower for the Boeing trial was found not alive recently. He was telling the world of the various and numerous safety issues Boeing ignored and covered up. Like this tire.
🎶Theee wheels on the plane fall down down down🎶
I remember the first time I saw that Raiders melting face I nearly puked. Seeing it now makes me laugh.
How are you gonna do a Harrison Ford colonoscopy joke about the Indiana Jones music, and _not_ use the shot of a boulder rolling down the tunnel?
"Vagabonds trash scrapple of news"
gold.
If you want to feel like you're living forever (or at least a waking nightmare) try grad school
on the bright side you will no longer fear death
Speaking of things plane related, the whistleblower who spoke out against Boeing suspiciously "committed suicide"
FYI When a wheel falls off of a car it is almost ALWAYS the result of improper maintenance.
Exactly. Let’s see what United has to say. Those planes have their tires changed numerous times every year.
"Nerd years" are good years :)
Here for the Vagabond Trash Scrapple
Good morning stephen colbert fans
Maybe the wheel is scared of heights lol
Nerd years are the best!
Oh boy....
Boeing is really asking for trouble at this point.
I never want to fly BOEING …..EVER
You are still statistically way safer in a plane than you are in a car or any other form of transportation. Also more than half of all passenger jets are made by Boeing, so you can’t really avoid them
These jokes were on point tonight. Shout out those new writers.
🔥👍🏼🔥👍🏼🔥
MEANWHILE: The Boeing whistleblower has been found dead.
Collapsed lung from all the blowing?
@@jpdemer5 “Self inflicted” gun shot wound to the head.
The quotes were in the actual news article, not my addition.
Stephen’s facial expression and head movement right after the Arby’s joke is uncannily reminiscent of Johnny Carson.
3:18
BOEING... when we say trust us, we really mean run! 😱😱😱
I love B.C. jokes
Cervesa cristal 🎶
*_What's happened to Boeing's planes? Did Ford buy a controlling interest in the engineering department?_* 🤔🤣
Nah prolly Rossiya Airlines, by the looks of it 🥴🥴
No, McDonnell Douglas did, and screwed up the management culture.
@@helios7212 Are they as bad as Ford?
No, they just preparing to give another CEO a retirement bonus. The previous one after two Max crashes in 2018 and 2019 and deaths of several hundred people got $55M.
They are more interested in dividents that board of directors get than security and the staff trainings. How else what is happening with Boeing can be explained?
Turkey has a history of 500 years. The oldest bread is found on the territory that is now Turkey. That would have been more correct.
You know on a regular basis I think about the joke you made about "Boeing" being the sound the plane door makes when it bounces off a dolphin and I die laughing. That joke has some serious legs in my head.
Education adding years to your life...or it just feels that way as you try to pay off your crushing Sallie Mae debt.
Stephen should have used a photo of Turkish Bread.
The Boeing and the B.C. bread tag segment are really funny!
Soulful Strut!👍✌✊
Give me those nerd years. Only LOL of the segment.
That tictoc fellow was in quite the pickle with police. 😂
Planes falling apart in flight is how historians will chart the decline of our current civilization.
The same way we look at declining porcelin quality to chart ancient China's decline.
And here we have at the museuem of history, a starving child from China. Scientists believe that capitalism killed this child's country, which is why this child, over there, is holding a gun and a leg of lamb with a flyer that reads, "The Rude, The Lewd, The Americans."
Interesting. Is there any documentation on that?
@@simonford7806 Ya, it's an Anthropology 101 subject. So tons and tons of info available.
I love the adventures of alternative reality, ramblin’ hobo Stephen.
Always a classic!
I feel they missed a perfectly good boulder joke there. 😂
I found bread like that in the back of my refrigerator! 😅😅😅
Nerd years are the best kind!
LMAO the Boeing Jokes🤣
"You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel!"
“Vagabond trash scrapple of news” 😂
So good! Thank you!
Not using the fabulous Alfred Molina as the reaction shot for the Harrison Ford colonoscopy bit was a colossal missed opportunity.