Thank you so much for this video. I tried to take care of my disabled Mom years ago, when she first had her stroke. I was by myself, living on my own with my minor child and it wasn't easy. My own health was at risk. I have only one sibling. I understand it's not easy for him and his family, but I can't do it alone -- I tried and I just couldn't. Again, it has been mentioned for me to "step up." I don't understand there are other options, but it's more convenient to go to the eldest child and single them out (me). Why is there so much pressure put on people to care for their parents, if I'm still raising my child, working full-time and can't afford help?
I just found your channel and oh my! I feel like you have been watching my life. Thank you for so many great suggestions. I am the sole caregiver of my bed ridden mother and I feel like all we do is argue. She also has delusions and I think early stage dementia. She is demanding and most days unappreciative. Other days she is like a child and says she can’t live without me. Unfortunately, I don’t have a very caring personality. She refuses to consider a nursing home. Finding your site has been such a relief. Thank you!
Wow! I"m so happy that these videos are helping you. Sounds like such a hard situation. Let me know if there are any particular topics you might be interested in that would be helpful in your situation.
Sofia Amirpoor I would love to see an video on navigating Medicare if you have not already done one. I’d like to know if there are any expenses for her care, like equipment to help lift or get in and out of the tub, that they would pay for. Do I have to go through her doc to access Medicare? Thanks!
Speaking to #6 - I 100% agree, if there is a poor or complicated relationship, you are not the person to be a caregiver. Trying to carry that weight will cause resentment and break the relationship, even if the one being cared for never sees it.
Thank you for what you do! This video helped me to identify my pain being a caregiver. So that I can articulate it to people who may help. I'm depressed, frustrated and wishing I could drop my mom under a bridge. I won't. But I think you understand how I feel sometimes. Thank you.
I've never gotten along with my father who has always been selfish and arrogant contributing to my clinical depression and anxiety. He hasn't changed other than he is now 82 and can't walk. What a horrible situation. I don't know what to do.
Aside from my college years, I've had to help my mom since graduating high school. She's 70 and I turn 30 later this year. Caregiving sucks and I want my life back. My mom took my life from me. Aside from my degree, I haven't accomplished a thing. No career, no relationships (let alone marriage), and no kids. If Covid and money weren't problems, I'd throw her in the nursing home and keep her there until she could walk again. When this nightmare ends, the only person I'm taking care of is myself. If anyone asks for caregiver help (including my mom), the answer will be a flat out NO. This is why couples over 40 should be barred from having kids (with the exception of adoption).
Yep I am treated as a caregiver to my grandma. I’m only 23 I don’t get paid i am expected to love her and to do everything for her when she can do a lot of things for herself my family thinks that because she’s old she shouldn’t do anything herself but she’s reasonably healthy
What if you have no way of leaving the situation in anyway & have been told by your own doctor & I myself weigh 80lbs, am in ESKF yet my brother & her grandchildren do very little & I am left her w my 91 year old mother by myself for 8 hours at a time! She does that fake it but on the phone & even though my brother has seen her act just ridiculous continues to leave me here alone w her & im about to lose it myself! I’m being used so they won’t have to spend her money & im on just disability & told them to take me out of the will! But if say we need help am then threatened by relatives to move out if I can’t help & have been doing this for 2 & 1/2 years! Been on hospice once & still here but wish I was not & there is no way to change this one as it’s all family dysfunction!!
What about elderly grandmother because wifes mother stole from them and won't help . Family caregiving will ruin a marriage, kill the caregiver early and take the living life years. Trust me we gave up our house ,life and relationship to take care of wifes grandmother
Same here! It's so hard. What options? I'm a grandkid but his kids are flakes he has limited resources no plan and he's a lazy sloppy pig who just sits in front of television all day eating mess making in his own filth. It's isolating, energy sucking and thankless. He never lifts a finger to help or participate in life. they are terrible housemates.
I liked your video and would be great to collaborate with you on a future video. We can talk about the legal implications of dealing with aging parents.
What about if they're bed ridden, can't travel, and absolutely nobody else in the family will care for them because they're so toxic they're radioactive?
I’m very angry right now and I don’t know what to do! I have thoughts of killing myself because my partner didn’t disclose his health issues. I’m a real mess right now and I don’t know what to do.
I agree with everything in this video, but it's really hard because the substitutes for family caregivers are few and far between. Some of these situations are so challenging. I wish there was an easier answer. Thanks for making this video.
Hi Annette Marie. Other options might be getting someone else in the home to provide care, either private pay or through your states in-home assistance program, moving them to an assisted living facility or nursing home placement, using the services of an adult day care facility or calling in the family troops and asking someone else to step up and help.
My two brothers and two sisters are married and live abroad me and my little sister are with my parents I had to go to college as well as responsible for our parents health I almost dropped out of my college because I was feeling numb and couldn't feel free my siblings admired me for what I did and encouraged me but I couldn't live my life as a individual I compromised everything. I felt really guilty to leave my parents as 4 of my siblings already left home that's why i choose to study I'm my home town but I got stuck forever in the family problems.they tell me they're concerned about me and love me but how I am feeling currently because of all this makes me question do they really care about me as they always say .
My loved has schizophrenia i should feel Lucky comparing to others but it is very hard. And the others options are no better because if i put her in psychiatric care she will be ovedrugged because it is easier to handle zombies than human feelings. Also there s no room for her anyway, the health system is falling apart. And i tried hiring caregivers they brought zero value except extra stress to make sure they are doing their job. So yeah here i am alone and plus being all judged because it is a stigmatised illness.
I am tired of seeing a TON of people just passing caregiving onto the kids or family members so they can collect money! That's what their money is for - caring for them! Not your pockets. It's not worth the money, especially when selfish people lop the actual caregiving onto one or two people and then come after the inheritance when the parent/grandparent/loved one passes. I have already had the conversation. I won't do it. I've been in healthcare, taken care of patients and other people's family members. No more. I know my limits.
I moved in with my Mother after she left the rehabilitation center and I had know idea how hard and how bad it makes me feel.
Welvome to my world
Thank you so much for this video. I tried to take care of my disabled Mom years ago, when she first had her stroke. I was by myself, living on my own with my minor child and it wasn't easy. My own health was at risk. I have only one sibling. I understand it's not easy for him and his family, but I can't do it alone -- I tried and I just couldn't. Again, it has been mentioned for me to "step up." I don't understand there are other options, but it's more convenient to go to the eldest child and single them out (me). Why is there so much pressure put on people to care for their parents, if I'm still raising my child, working full-time and can't afford help?
If You LADIES ARE SINGLE, NO CHILDREN, NO JOB...GET READY. YOU WILL BE IN THI CHA NEL WITH ALL OF US VERY SOON.
I just found your channel and oh my! I feel like you have been watching my life. Thank you for so many great suggestions. I am the sole caregiver of my bed ridden mother and I feel like all we do is argue. She also has delusions and I think early stage dementia. She is demanding and most days unappreciative. Other days she is like a child and says she can’t live without me. Unfortunately, I don’t have a very caring personality. She refuses to consider a nursing home. Finding your site has been such a relief. Thank you!
Wow! I"m so happy that these videos are helping you. Sounds like such a hard situation. Let me know if there are any particular topics you might be interested in that would be helpful in your situation.
Sofia Amirpoor I would love to see an video on navigating Medicare if you have not already done one. I’d like to know if there are any expenses for her care, like equipment to help lift or get in and out of the tub, that they would pay for. Do I have to go through her doc to access Medicare? Thanks!
Great, and needed topic! Will put it on my radar!
I found that Love and Praying with the person your caring for has a calming effect.
Love never fails.
Speaking to #6 - I 100% agree, if there is a poor or complicated relationship, you are not the person to be a caregiver.
Trying to carry that weight will cause resentment and break the relationship, even if the one being cared for never sees it.
I love this Lady She understands
Thanks for watching Janet!
Thank you for what you do! This video helped me to identify my pain being a caregiver. So that I can articulate it to people who may help. I'm depressed, frustrated and wishing I could drop my mom under a bridge. I won't. But I think you understand how I feel sometimes. Thank you.
This is absolutely spot on! Thank you for posting this video. I wish I'd seen this 4 years ago before becoming a caregiver.
How can I stop being a caregiver for my grandma if there is no one else to care for her?
I've never gotten along with my father who has always been selfish and arrogant contributing to my clinical depression and anxiety. He hasn't changed other than he is now 82 and can't walk. What a horrible situation. I don't know what to do.
Thanks for this! I’ve reached breaking point and now I know why
Aside from my college years, I've had to help my mom since graduating high school. She's 70 and I turn 30 later this year.
Caregiving sucks and I want my life back. My mom took my life from me. Aside from my degree, I haven't accomplished a thing. No career, no relationships (let alone marriage), and no kids. If Covid and money weren't problems, I'd throw her in the nursing home and keep her there until she could walk again. When this nightmare ends, the only person I'm taking care of is myself. If anyone asks for caregiver help (including my mom), the answer will be a flat out NO.
This is why couples over 40 should be barred from having kids (with the exception of adoption).
I was my moms caregiver and would do it again no matter how hard it was. I'm talking about my caregiver job
Yep I am treated as a caregiver to my grandma. I’m only 23 I don’t get paid i am expected to love her and to do everything for her when she can do a lot of things for herself my family thinks that because she’s old she shouldn’t do anything herself but she’s reasonably healthy
Thank you for doing these.
My pleasure!
What if you have no way of leaving the situation in anyway & have been told by your own doctor & I myself weigh 80lbs, am in ESKF yet my brother & her grandchildren do very little & I am left her w my 91 year old mother by myself for 8 hours at a time! She does that fake it but on the phone & even though my brother has seen her act just ridiculous continues to leave me here alone w her & im about to lose it myself!
I’m being used so they won’t have to spend her money & im on just disability & told them to take me out of the will!
But if say we need help am then threatened by relatives to move out if I can’t help & have been doing this for 2 & 1/2 years! Been on hospice once & still here but wish I was not & there is no way to change this one as it’s all family dysfunction!!
Hey love, how are you doing?
this is such a supportive video.
I hv and depression and barely can keep it together for my own family.
Hey love how are you doing
Thank you for this video. I need you in my life. Being a caregiver is very tough. I'
It is so tough Fay, I’m right here with you!
@@SofiaAmirpoor thank you very much for your kind words. My brother is now in the hospital with several different health issues. I feel broken.
What about elderly grandmother because wifes mother stole from them and won't help . Family caregiving will ruin a marriage, kill the caregiver early and take the living life years. Trust me we gave up our house ,life and relationship to take care of wifes grandmother
So need this!!! Caregiver for my grandma and her grown children are not help!!!
Hey love I’m in the same situation. My grandma has 7 kids no help. How are you holding up?
Same here! It's so hard. What options? I'm a grandkid but his kids are flakes he has limited resources no plan and he's a lazy sloppy pig who just sits in front of television all day eating mess making in his own filth. It's isolating, energy sucking and thankless. He never lifts a finger to help or participate in life. they are terrible housemates.
So glad I found this video ❤
I'm glad you did too! Thanks for watching!
Glad as hell I’m not one thank god 😊
I liked your video and would be great to collaborate with you on a future video. We can talk about the legal implications of dealing with aging parents.
What about if they're bed ridden, can't travel, and absolutely nobody else in the family will care for them because they're so toxic they're radioactive?
If circumstances allow it, put them in the nursing home and let them be the nursing home's problem.
I’m very angry right now and I don’t know what to do! I have thoughts of killing myself because my partner didn’t disclose his health issues. I’m a real mess right now and I don’t know what to do.
Thank you
I agree with everything in this video, but it's really hard because the substitutes for family caregivers are few and far between. Some of these situations are so challenging. I wish there was an easier answer. Thanks for making this video.
I understand it can be a challenge. I hope you find a workable solution. Hang in there Christina!
What are the options you are referring to?
Hi Annette Marie. Other options might be getting someone else in the home to provide care, either private pay or through your states in-home assistance program, moving them to an assisted living facility or nursing home placement, using the services of an adult day care facility or calling in the family troops and asking someone else to step up and help.
@@SofiaAmirpoor A live-in is what I'm working on now. Thank you
My two brothers and two sisters are married and live abroad me and my little sister are with my parents I had to go to college as well as responsible for our parents health I almost dropped out of my college because I was feeling numb and couldn't feel free my siblings admired me for what I did and encouraged me but I couldn't live my life as a individual I compromised everything. I felt really guilty to leave my parents as 4 of my siblings already left home that's why i choose to study I'm my home town but I got stuck forever in the family problems.they tell me they're concerned about me and love me but how I am feeling currently because of all this makes me question do they really care about me as they always say .
Great video 😄
My loved has schizophrenia i should feel Lucky comparing to others but it is very hard. And the others options are no better because if i put her in psychiatric care she will be ovedrugged because it is easier to handle zombies than human feelings. Also there s no room for her anyway, the health system is falling apart. And i tried hiring caregivers they brought zero value except extra stress to make sure they are doing their job. So yeah here i am alone and plus being all judged because it is a stigmatised illness.
I am tired of seeing a TON of people just passing caregiving onto the kids or family members so they can collect money! That's what their money is for - caring for them! Not your pockets. It's not worth the money, especially when selfish people lop the actual caregiving onto one or two people and then come after the inheritance when the parent/grandparent/loved one passes. I have already had the conversation. I won't do it. I've been in healthcare, taken care of patients and other people's family members. No more. I know my limits.
What about when she’s my grandma
I’d say these points would be the same with a grandparent.