I am so glad to have found you. I have literally been made to feel as if I was the problem in my marriage, so much so, I began to believe it. I’ve had the word gold digger thrown in my direction in sneaky ways, as I was a SAHM. He has put work and his family of origin above me and his children. He has made me feel as though we were nothing more than a burden than a burden or parasites. Thank you for helping me see. I suspected all this all along but could never really make any sense of what was happening. You have made it make so much sense. I am thankful and grateful that someone can see the things you see. I have felt so alone for 20 something years.
My husband literally loses sleep over jobs he’s worried about. While being totally clueless and uninterested about what needs work in our relationship or home!! Very lonely
My husband uses the excuse “I’ve been busy at work” all the time… So only when I bring up the fact that he barely text me throughout the day will he ever text me… And then it drops back off. I’ve told him it literally takes five seconds to send a nice message to let me know that he’s thinking about me. He’s got his phone right beside him on his desk but yet work is more important
How about my workaholic husband....whom, after I coded twice in the ICU after developing sepsis, never came back to the hospital to see me.....because, after all, he had a cold, he couldn't find childcare and he had to work. Yup, that was one of the many defining moments in our 'relationship'. This one severed whatever connection we had, even though it was weak and small by this time. Yes, I've been married to a narcissistic workaholic for 44 years. I'm a Christian and I trusted in the promise I made to God when I married him (for better or for worse). I never believed that leaving the marriage was an option since I know that God hates divorce. Yet, our marriage was nothing like God intended it to be. So confusing. I am angry that I gave up my entire life for 'the worse' without ever having the chance of it being for the 'better'. How depressing and defeating this all has been.
My husband would appear to be a “workoholic”, but really he’s avoiding everything in life that is not work. At age 67, he has the emotional and social brain of an immature 12-year-old - but damn can he synthesize an oligonucleatide! I’ve just served divorce papers, so he’ll have even more time to work.
I only wish you could rewrite this script without the Christian part. My husband and I are Jews and I really wish he could listen to this, but he would shut it down because the religion and other Bible would stop the message. I hear you, though. This is verbatim, my life.
My husband and I are 46. We have 3 children, ages 5-13. He is a recovering alcoholic, sober 4yrs. However, he has changed his addiction from alcohol to work. No matter what that work is. He is a mechanic by trade and we have a small automotive shop behind our home. This is where he works. He will be out there from the early morning hours all the way until 11:00 p.m. or midnight if I didn't call him in. Even if it's freezing cold. If I didn't call him in, he'd probably be out there 24 hours a day. When I'm laying in bed at night and need to ask him something, I have to call him on the house phone so that it will ring out back. We have fought about this. He says he shouldn't need my "permission" to work. If I insist that he leave the garage, he'll find a way to continue working (ie. We decided to take the Christmas tree down the other night and set it up. The branches were twisted and it wasn't perfect. He took it down but then spent 2hrs working on the tree and creating a new stand, outside and inside, to make it look perfect. It got too late, and the kids had to go to bed.) Whenever I say anything, I'm told I'm "controlling." Even if he does say he understands (which is rare), he's back doing the same thing the next day as if we hadn't talked. I'm at a complete loss.
He’ll do anything to avoid home and the family. Anything to avoid responsibility. Anything to avoid emotional connection. Anything to avoid having to do anything for anybody else. You have to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life like this. He will never put you first. He will never consider your sanity as a priority. One year later - how’s it going?
@@chelseascott5872 complex! No cure I take it. Guessing $$ chasers are N too… gamblers.. all selfish self centered peeps. We all have characteristics of the N, I do my best to shed daily. I hear it stems from avoiding real intimacy, but I won’t let that blind me. ❤️ I don’t have the power to make anything happen. Let go and let God.
Whenever my husband makes me feel lonely all I do is humiliate him! I can destroy his hard work as revenge to his bullies! This is how I can hurt him!!!
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I am so glad to have found you. I have literally been made to feel as if I was the problem in my marriage, so much so, I began to believe it. I’ve had the word gold digger thrown in my direction in sneaky ways, as I was a SAHM. He has put work and his family of origin above me and his children. He has made me feel as though we were nothing more than a burden than a burden or parasites. Thank you for helping me see. I suspected all this all along but could never really make any sense of what was happening. You have made it make so much sense. I am thankful and grateful that someone can see the things you see. I have felt so alone for 20 something years.
My husband literally loses sleep over jobs he’s worried about. While being totally clueless and uninterested about what needs work in our relationship or home!! Very lonely
My husband uses the excuse “I’ve been busy at work” all the time… So only when I bring up the fact that he barely text me throughout the day will he ever text me… And then it drops back off. I’ve told him it literally takes five seconds to send a nice message to let me know that he’s thinking about me. He’s got his phone right beside him on his desk but yet work is more important
@@sebastianfernandez5827 Sounds narcissistic to me.
She's not narcissistic for wanting to be thought of once in a while.
Thank you Dr Clarke - you are a pioneer in addressing this addiction/sin. Yes, the job is the mistress.
That exactly my husband.
He made me quit my career and is married to his job himself.
How about my workaholic husband....whom, after I coded twice in the ICU after developing sepsis, never came back to the hospital to see me.....because, after all, he had a cold, he couldn't find childcare and he had to work. Yup, that was one of the many defining moments in our 'relationship'. This one severed whatever connection we had, even though it was weak and small by this time.
Yes, I've been married to a narcissistic workaholic for 44 years. I'm a Christian and I trusted in the promise I made to God when I married him (for better or for worse). I never believed that leaving the marriage was an option since I know that God hates divorce. Yet, our marriage was nothing like God intended it to be. So confusing. I am angry that I gave up my entire life for 'the worse' without ever having the chance of it being for the 'better'. How depressing and defeating this all has been.
It isn't funny when your husband puts his job first
Job should be put in first
My husband would appear to be a “workoholic”, but really he’s avoiding everything in life that is not work. At age 67, he has the emotional and social brain of an immature 12-year-old - but damn can he synthesize an oligonucleatide! I’ve just served divorce papers, so he’ll have even more time to work.
He will be so glad to have you leave, you sound like a burden so he would rather be at work than with you.
Thank you, I felt guilty for I am sad and I thought I am ungrateful for that, because he says he do it for us, but he abandoned me, I am so loveless
I’m in it I’m looking for a way out
I only wish you could rewrite this script without the Christian part. My husband and I are Jews and I really wish he could listen to this, but he would shut it down because the religion and other Bible would stop the message.
I hear you, though. This is verbatim, my life.
You will never get a Christian to shut up about being Christian
Its good to have a work ethic but God doesnt need you to help Him make the sunrise in the morning.
My husband and I are 46. We have 3 children, ages 5-13. He is a recovering alcoholic, sober 4yrs. However, he has changed his addiction from alcohol to work. No matter what that work is. He is a mechanic by trade and we have a small automotive shop behind our home. This is where he works. He will be out there from the early morning hours all the way until 11:00 p.m. or midnight if I didn't call him in. Even if it's freezing cold. If I didn't call him in, he'd probably be out there 24 hours a day. When I'm laying in bed at night and need to ask him something, I have to call him on the house phone so that it will ring out back. We have fought about this. He says he shouldn't need my "permission" to work. If I insist that he leave the garage, he'll find a way to continue working (ie. We decided to take the Christmas tree down the other night and set it up. The branches were twisted and it wasn't perfect. He took it down but then spent 2hrs working on the tree and creating a new stand, outside and inside, to make it look perfect. It got too late, and the kids had to go to bed.) Whenever I say anything, I'm told I'm "controlling." Even if he does say he understands (which is rare), he's back doing the same thing the next day as if we hadn't talked. I'm at a complete loss.
Unfortunately, your husband is a narcissist. :(
He’ll do anything to avoid home and the family. Anything to avoid responsibility. Anything to avoid emotional connection. Anything to avoid having to do anything for anybody else. You have to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life like this. He will never put you first. He will never consider your sanity as a priority. One year later - how’s it going?
God is good 🙏
What is the drive behind workaholism?
Narcissism
@@chelseascott5872 complex! No cure I take it. Guessing $$ chasers are N too… gamblers..
all selfish self centered peeps.
We all have characteristics of the N, I do my best to shed daily.
I hear it stems from avoiding real intimacy, but I won’t let that blind me. ❤️ I don’t have the power to make anything happen. Let go and let God.
WOW
💙
Whenever my husband makes me feel lonely all I do is humiliate him!
I can destroy his hard work as revenge to his bullies! This is how I can hurt him!!!
I know it feels lonely but don’t be deceived by satanic lies. Let your kind heart change what you cannot do without!