How Can We Really Forgive? | Eckhart Tolle on Relationships
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- Опубликовано: 28 июн 2023
- Eckhart explores how recognizing the unconsciousness behind hurtful actions can pave the way for healing and letting go of grievances. He shares the importance of staying connected with your true essence and learning how loss can serve as a catalyst for personal growth and deeper self-awareness.
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Life is short, forgive yourself and others, even if it hurts. Free yourself out of the holding onto it and start living again. ❤
I don't need to forgive anyone for their transgressions against me, I'm not holding on to anything but I'm not going to forgive someone for intentionally harming me
That's not helpful and not how Eckhart explained it. You just wrote some ol bromide we have heard a million times. And life being short is a pathetic reason to forgive.
@@Doriesep6622 What are you expecting to achieve before you're able to forgive someone? Does it need to happen in a certain specific way? If they say something, you reply with X comment, if they say something else you reply with Y, how does it work? what's the road map you're following? When will you be able to forgive?
Accept things as they are and move forward. No external action or "forgiveness" is required for this.
Life is short? No one heard that one before, such cliche.
I found the less I judged my(self) and had more kindness and compassion for myself, the more compassion I had towards others. I’ve learned that what I thought others have done to hurt me actually stemmed from my own deeper unresolved issues such as feeling incompetent, feeling not good enough. And from that deficiency, I looked to others to tell me who I am by overly complying. Doing things that I didn’t want to do but would do anyways because I thought it was “good or the right thing to do”. Which in turn I would always find myself in a situation of being “taken for granted or advantage of, etc.”
I’m learning that I am not deficient. I already Am whole and complete. There is not a single thing anyone can do or say that will add to my inner perfection nor take away my inner perfection. And I cannot truly harm anyone else nor give anyone else peace. God has given each and everyone of us our Perfect Peace within that can not be harmed, ever. We are beyond this form, and We are Perfect. This is what I’m constantly reminding myself. And it makes it easier to choose Love instead of blame.
❤
thank you for sharing 💗
Thank you for sharing this
It helped me a lot 🙂
Thank you for sharing
It helped me a lot
Thank you
- I just want to let anyone who’s reading this, and going through a tough time know that it’s going to be okay. You’ll get through it! ✨
I have terminal stage 4 cancer and it's definitely NOT going to be okay, I'm going to die 🙄
@@J.M.-nb4gw Praying for your healing ! 🙏🏼 Love & Blessings ! (p.s. death is not the end anyway 😉)
Thank you for your encouragement !❤ . . . May it be returned to you 100-fold ☺🙏🏼
@@J.M.-nb4gw That's the best way to look at it - it's not going to be ok. It must be irritating when people wish you a quick recovery. Maybe still your mind as much as possible and have a smoother transition? At any rate, hugs from Australia!
@@J.M.-nb4gwi think the point of this video is that what is real is not our form and the form doesn't exist except in our minds so everything is going to be ok is more ...everything is always ok ...but i have lots of resistance to that truth and feel the pain ofevery loss of form so i have great compassion for your experienced loss❤
"The event is neutral the story interpretation of it is what creates the anguish" Thank you Eckhat
That's SO true.🙏
Thank you
If you suffered harassment, wrongdoings, and physical and mental abuse during your childhood, your youth that continued even in your adulthood by parents, relatives, friends, and strangers, and still today you find yourself struggling to understand how to "free yourself" of that pain and opinions that now you perceive as "wrong" and that have been instilled in you with constant brainwashing..., well, I think this video is what you need.
Try listening to it over and over again to understand it not only conceptually but feel it in your heart.
Even if you're getting on in years, there's still time, even if you suffer from a terminal illness, there's still time to find that "peace within" you that you are desperately seeking "outside" of you.
There is little chance that you will immediately accept my recommendation. It doesn't matter. A seed takes its time to become a tree.
We all are victims of victims ...of victims ... 🙏
Forgiveness is remembering WITHOUT ANY PAIN
“We live as though there aren't enough hours in the day, but if we do each thing calmly and carefully, we will get it done quicker and with much less stress.” - Viggo Mortensen
You are able to bring more of yourself when you concentrate. As the day progresses, you may realize how quickly you accomplish tasks when you slow down to give them your undivided attention. In the words of Viggo Mortensen, “go slow to go fast.”
Reminds me of a SEALs saying - "Slow is smooth, smooth is fast".
We forgive others when we are emotionally evolved enough to not stay in a victim like space of blame…. “Forgive them for they know not what they do” ✨✨
Its hard to believe that someone who sleeps around behind someone elses' back doesn't know what they are doing.
@@biteynibbles8444 Not knowing what they are doing in that sense, means they don't understand the consequences and effects of their behaviour to others and unto themselves. Because if you do intentionally anything harmful to someone, in reality you harm yourself and not only the other person, but people who don't see this they literally don't know what they are doing.
They are cognizant of their actions of course, but they don't know how deep the effects go creating suffering for others and how it turns out to be harmful for themseves in the end...
Without judgement there is nothing to forgive.
Thank you, E T ... forgiveness is the best way to bring closure and the Only way to find peace. 💖
"He was as much a victim as I was." This helps me feel more compassion toward my own family.
Eckhart's teachings help me evolve bit by bit each day. Thank you for this video ✌
Amen
It helped me to think of my family members who were abusive as having been infected with rabies. Their true self has been taken over by the infection or "conditioning" and their behaviour came from there. For so long I lived with the assumption that something about me caused them to behave the way they did. We are ALL innocent.
Imagine a 14 minute talk that could literally provide healing and peace to any broken family if the members would simply hear and apply...this is such a gem.💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
ha, nothing is that simple unfortunately. if you dont believe the science (neuroscience and affect on trauma on the brain) then you just have to look at childhood trauma victims and length of recovery
Forgiving is the simple way to freedom. Let it go let it go. !!! Without blame or judgement.
Thank you, Eckhart. Exactly what I needed. Even my therapist was unable to tell me how to forgive. Ultimately, I don't think forgiveness itself is something you can choose to do. The times when I have forgiven were completely involuntary. However, you can create the conditions for forgiveness to happen, which Eckhart beautifully details here. It is absolutely true that when I meditate my grievances and pain fall away. That part of me which is Eternally Present has never been hurt, and never has held a grievance. Ultimately it is the dissolution of the ego which results in true, lasting forgiveness of self and others.
From what I’ve gathered, many people that have been harmed need to first acknowledge they were wronged, allow their anger/ hurt to be eventually released - with the help of divine source energy.
When we forgive others, we are forgiving ourselves 🙏❤
Being able to overcome the ego, is like working out a highly complex maze computer game, that can take a lifetime of wandering, getting lost, being utterly confused, and giving up, then starting over and over again. Good luck on your mission, brave lightwalker!
@Citrus, one cannot overcome an illusion. You are attempting to rid the ego by using the ego. Look for the ego. Look for what is looking. May you be at peace.
@@cps_Zen_Run Thank you for your wisdom.
Overcoming the ego is about witnessing it, not getting rid of it. I never said anything about getting rid of it. Just the journey, of wandering, being confused, giving up, and then starting over. It can actually take a lifetime of searching before one realises that it is simply a matter of witnessing thoughts and not identifying with them. But it does not really matter how long it takes, a moment, a lifetime, I am sure you understand. Peace and presence to you.
I always describe my childhood home as walking through a mine field. One parent had the “short fuse” and the other as I only let myself realize as an adult was an alcoholic. Much later in life I described that parent as crazy and my counselor corrected me that she was a narcissist. It clicked as I remember her telling someone that their wife was pronouncing her name wrong! It took a while to see that the week, inept, shaking in my boots person I was was, was not genetically impaired but the product of much criticism and manipulation, and training that I was “not like other people” making me dependent on her. I got myself out of that situation and it was she that was begging me not to leave. There was a lot of violence. I am at 76 and still trying to heal. Based on my worthlessness I made many bad decisions and it took me years of self treatment to get to the point where I could be well enough to get a job and work. But from the perspective that Eckhart Tolle has just spoken about I can at least forgive them. They are deceased and I don’t often think about that time any more. But the fear of life and being around people or getting close to people has never left me. I have, at least survived and i know to play the role of the victim adds insult to injury and only makes me feel more powerless. Thank you ET. 😉
I have noticed that often giving up something of form leads to association with the formless.
@shane, Doing requires form. Being is formless. May you be at peace.
when we focus on being, we tap into a state of formlessness, where there are no specific limitations or boundaries.
In philosophical or spiritual contexts, this idea can be related to the concept of mindfulness or being present in the moment. By cultivating a state of being, one can transcend the constraints of the physical world and connect with a more expansive, formless aspect of existence.
“The soul rejoices for what the form has lost.”
Yes it is basic to forgive!! We can do it and is liberating!
Potential opening into the formless ❤❤❤
The ultimate goal is no thought, that's where presents is. Where the observer, your soul is. But just jumping to no thought (especially here in America with consent busy thought streams) is next to impossible for most. So the "work out" is necessary to train the mind ... that the Observer is in charge. Focus on breath, soon thoughts will come, the moment you become "aware" that you're back to thoughts BLAM that awareness is the Observer!! But the mind is powerful with a lifetime of control, and will quickly take back over. But that's ok ... bring it back away from the thoughts to the breath over and over.
Picture doing curls, when the weight comes up you're in thoughts, consciously lower the weight and bring it back to the breath, over and over AND over ... It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life and took me weeks of "training" before just alittle "shift" of starting to be in control of the mind with longer and longer periods out of thoughts. I'm not going to kid you, it takes a while and oddly, learning to have relaxed focus is difficult, kind of like a tug of war. In a few weeks I started to see progress and after several months I started to have control over my meditations with longer and longer moments in presents. Hopes this helps!
I have read that perfection is reached when there is no longer anything left to take away.
Thanks for sharing Eckhart! 💜
Thank you Mr. Tolle.❤
Isn’t so there is nothing to forgive 😢just the ego and it clings to you like a drowning man. You find yourself trying to save but you get pulled under if not careful. Forgive yourself and everything and like death you will be released. I pray to myself for stillness….I know where it resides..inside but it is limitless as the universe. ET hits the point again ❤
his talks always bring me comfort and peace.
Thank you, Eckhart. Thank you 🫶🏻
Thank you, to realize that in the level of form a person is as much a victim of a given action or inaction as I am. This allows me compassion for both of us. And thank you in past lesson for inviting me to choose to experience each moment as exactly what I want it to be. This is so liberating.
Thank you, thank you, thank you
Helpful. Thank you Eckhart
Thankyou Eckhart 💚
Grateful for these videos! Helps me so much. ❤
Gratitude ❤
most excellent way to talk about letting go to become free of limitations ..to be the great "I AM".
This man is so knowledgeable and full of Wisdom❤ bless him 🙏
Eckhart has changed my life. My father was exactly as yours. I am sensitive too. We share the same. You and I are similar in this way. ❤
Thank you for all❤
Great video - thanks Eckhart!
Thank you. This is very helpful. 🙏
Thank you. This is the way. ❤️
Maestro Eckhart: Muchísimas gracias. 😊🙏💚
Acknowledging anger as part of the forgiveness process Life is a process ☘️
This creates understanding ☘️
Angry ego stems from hurt, fear, frustration. Awareness and understanding. I like how he describes operating in the unconscious because when one is operating under the veil of consciousness one is in survival mode. Operating life on the conscience is in the now and that’s when one is thriving in life. Powerful message Mr. Eckhart Tolle! 💚💚💚
Thank you for this nice talk.
YES!! When you come to the place where you genuinely forgive, it means you've healed.
Forgiveness releases you from the poison that can hold you back
Thank you Eckhart ❣️🙏
Your messages always come to me at the best perfect time! ☀️😻❤️
there are no coincidences, the Universe has a reason to send them then, which I need to hear then.🙏🕊️❤️☀️
Thank you 🙏
Hurt people hurt people
Beautiful.
Thank you !
❤What an amazing outlook on life . This spirit has a lot of good form to share. I want to leave a blank comment cos that would say more than these words. It would just fit. 🙏
Grief is life, but love is long ❤
A few days ago I asked Jesus to help me understand the true meaning of forgiveness and how to do it, and now i find myself listening to you, and your beautiful teaching ❤. I am currently a student of ACIM and it is changing my life, so very grateful to you Eckhart, and to God 🙏🕊
Hello dear, hope you're doing well.
I lost my beloved dad (his level form)a month ago and 2 weeks later I found ET. I also started to studie ACIM, but I'm doing it by my self. I mean are you a current student with someone who's guiding you though the ACIM or just studying on your own. I wonder because sometimes I have some doubts and don't know exactly who should i share this doubts for better understanding. Hope I'm not being evasive. Best regards🙏
@@claudiasilva7733 Hello Claudia, it's lovely to connect with a fellow ACIM student :). Yes, I am studying by myself and can relate to how you are feeling. I find being completely honest with how I am feeling is the only way to progress through it, because I know I am not being judged, though that's sometimes easier said than done! I've had doubts but have asked for help from Jesus and always found it, He always answers my questions. I hope this helps? ❤
I found Gary Renard’s books on ACIM very helpful.
@@carmellarkin4803 thank you for this, I will look him up. The more I ask the more help I am receiving from many different people, very grateful :)
I've never understand why to forgive. But as time goes by I can see, all this anger and biterness is not a good place to be. So, thanks for this, it helps me a lot.
It's easier to forgive once you know that free will is more a dream of the ego, than a reality.
I also had an angry father with an explosive temper, but I later on understood that he had PTSD from the second world war, he was a refugee and an orphan in his early teenage years, fleeing together with his younger brother and sister. It shaped who he became, and in a lot of ways he actually did really well for himself. Luckily he also calmed down a lot more later on in life.
I heard this definition of forgiveness that a depressed person would probably find ambivalent: To remember something without a feeling of resentment. Of course for anyone who is deeply depressed this is meaningless since nothing evokes any kind of feeling anymore, no matter if good or bad ...
There has to be a better definition of forgiveness.
I like to think of my father as a young child now, before the war, innocent, playing with my Grandfather at the coast of Königsberg. My father has been dead for about 25 years now; I know I've forgiven him, because I also grief for the person he could have been.
Thank you
his dad sounds like my dad, i see him growing calmer the older he gets though its like he doesnt have the energy to be angry as much anymore
Muchísimas gracias!!!❤️🙏😊
So brillant, really wise words ❤
Good talk; it's only too tempting to be eaten up by grievances. Being hurt by others or hurting oneself with automatic responses
Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant Truth and semi-Autobiographical.
This is mandatory for my tool box , thank you.
I Love You Eckhart. ♥️🙏☮️
Wow! Thank you so very much
Powerful
🙏🏽 Master Echrat Tolle
Forgiveness is not something you do, it's something that happens to you once you empathize with those who hurt you.
🙌
That sounds like masochism to me. I wouldn't do that if I were you. But what do I know.
Thank you 💝
Only if we forgive ourselves, forgiveness is a super power
This is amazing
Thanks!🌻✨
Regards thank you
Giving forward is knowing that unconscious manifestation is inevitable, we are here to learn how to handle negative unconscious intentions whether towards others or as the recipient and the collective has some corrections to undergo giving forward for future generations
Yes i agree my dad was always angry as well, when i was a child. ❤it was like walking on egg shells. My dad passed away when i was 20, and only just now I understand his anxiety and anger was about. My dad was not happy with my mums family they didn’t like him and it got him angry. and took it out on us.. He physically abused me and my brothers. I don’t know if I ever forgave him.
'Nothing real can be threatened nothing unreal exists.' This is basically the teaching of the Heart Sutra.
forgiveness is a strength. and it affects you big time.
“Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal ultimately exists, it just seems to. Herein lies the peace of God”
Compassion is the key, thank you.
Always forgive understand nobody is perfect each human is doing his best according to his own consciousness. Never hold any bad thoughts about anyone. Forgive yourself as well we are all learning on the life path remember the nicest moments of joy from each experience and 😊🎉be gratefull for those amazing memories send love and wish the best to each human who have touched your heart😊❤
Not fancy words but one thing I have to admit that this playlist is really good. Maybe Ad has the same taste in music as me
To truly forgive you must allow your EGO to die! To truly love you also must allow the EGO to die. He is speaking truth to empower. He is 💯 🙌🏽
What a bloody journey, hard hard to let go of ego, people around you start treating you differently when you let go of your ego, dianamics in your life change, from the outside it looks like we have become weak, but its not true
🌼Danke 😊🙏schön🌼
Beautiful ❤
So instead of trying to hold presents, just focus on one thought (singularity of thought) like many I really like the breath. So relax and just focus on your breathing and in a few seconds your mind will take over, that's ok! Just gently bring it back to your breath, back and forth. Like pumping iron for presents, it's the spiritual work out! (I also like bringing a note pad and "down loading" some thoughts that arise. I'll write down the persistent thoughts; ok I'll do the dishes today and write it down etc.)
Forgiveness stands as the ultimate triumph, a beacon of hope that radiates from the depths of our souls. 🌟💖✨ It possesses the power to heal wounds, mend brokenness, and liberate our spirits from the shackles of resentment. 🌈💕✨ Embracing forgiveness is an act of immense strength, as it requires us to let go of pain and choose compassion instead. 🙏💫🌼 With each act of forgiveness, we rise above bitterness, transmuting it into a force of love and understanding. 💛🌿🌟 Let us embrace forgiveness as our greatest victory, empowering ourselves and others to experience the transformative power of grace. 🌟🕊🌻
Om peace
I both hate and love when he calls me out like this lol😂
"What we say to ourselves, ie what we think, makes us feel the way we feel."
Epictetus, 2000 years ago in Ancient Rome.
"Cherished wounds" in Huna
😮❤😅 thankful Sir, yesss,life itself level of learning everyday,the thing we can do is in Consciousness,beautiful ❤️ conversation for forgive😮😅😅😊👁️😘🌄
Grateful Sir,!!🌄🙏💯
I have made a huge mistake that has had massive consequences on my physical health. I cancelled some treatment and now my condition has worsened. I had multiple reasons for doing it, and I was completely overwhelmed and stressed from being so caught up in them. I have rebooked the treatment but I can't stop bashing myself for cancelling the first time because I believe by delaying the treatment I've made my health worse. I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself :(
FORGIVE YOURSELF FIRST. MOVE AHEAD. THE PAST IS FINISHED.
You can’t give away what you don’t have!
Forgive yourself first
And then you will be able to forgive others
It's their levell of consciounsness , not YOUR's ❤❤❤❤
One day, a man named Truth and a man named Lie stood by a river just outside of town. They were twin brothers. Lie challenged Truth to a race, claiming he could swim across the river faster than Truth.
Lie laid out the rules to the challenge, stating that they both must remove all their clothes, and at the count of 3, dive into the freezing cold water, and swim to the other side and back.
Lie counted to 3, but when Truth jumped in, Lie did not. As Truth swam across the river, Lie put on Truth’s clothes, and walked back into the town dressed as Truth. He proudly paraded around town pretending to be Truth.
Truth made it back to shore, but his clothes were gone and he was left naked with only Lie’s clothes to wear. Refusing to dress himself as Lie, Truth walked back to town naked. People stared and glared as naked Truth walked through town. He tried to explain what happened and that he was in fact Truth, but because he was naked and uncomfortable to look at, people mocked and shunned him; refusing to believe he was really Truth.
The people in town chose to believe Lie because he was dressed appropriately and easier to look at. From that day until this, people have come to believe a lie rather than they believe the naked Truth.
Thank you very much, I get it Turn the other cheek............think about it in a new way through the eyes of love turn within choose love,compassion,understanding ,space to lose is to die to die is orgasmicly vortex
Similar to Eckhart's story of his father, mine was also considered to be put last amongst his siblings, added to the fact that he was born with a polio defect in one of his legs. He harbored animosity against his mother for whatever ill-treatments she put him through as a young child. He left home at 17yo. At some point in his older years he did have some awareness, as a child i would be curious as to his library of books which included dream books, Sai Baba, Silver Method, Astrology etc... he and I became estranged and I too left home right out of school. I swore I hated that man. Wished I wasn't related to him. Only on his death bed did he reach out to my husband (then bf) telling to take care of me and only now on my own journey of awareness that I accepted and forgave. My negativity and intense emotions just ceased. Now I sometimes think how much he would have loved my 2 boys. Still working on my own self forgiveness and harboring regret.
Well, if it was am act of unconciousness. If it was not an act of unconciousness i do call the people out. Mostly respectful, but sometimes i get loud also, if it's in the moment. But if they apologize i always forgive them.