How Not Forgiving Can Delay Your Awakening | Eckhart Tolle
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- Do you have a hard time forgiving people from your past? Eckhart explains how, when a grievance carries on for too long, it becomes this mental emotional entity that lives in you and can affect your awakening process.
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The grievance I have is not just what family has done to me over the decades, but that they still do the same stuff now, even as I am a 50 yr old man. So that is my challenge, not just to forgive and let go of the past, but to forgive and find peace with what is still happening.
Ditto
In A Course in Miracles forgiveness is described as recognizing the false as false. AKA, when relating to someone form presence, you see that only their presence is real… any egoic tendencies that manifest are not real.
Try Byron Katie worksheets ..done with honesty and no expect and patience, they work. Good luck 💙
I had to disconnect from my family members and was able to forgive. I haven’t had contact w them now 5 yrs. I’m finally finding my peace due to the disconnect. 🧘♀️💜🌟✌️
that was always my issue too. the acting out continued. it was a long journey to forgiveness.
Those people quit hurting me 50 years ago. I kept re-injuring myself with resentment.
Then I decided on the forgiveness journey.
My states of joy are on the increase.
It’s hard to forgive others for the harm they did to you and even more hard to forgive yourself for the harm you did to others
Agree.
My family was so dysfunctional that I had to walk away and forgive them from a distance. This finally brought me peace.
I feel the need to say something.
Good going.
I just quit a toxic job in the name of peace.
Walk away is not a good way, face it and learn from it The only way you can find peace.
@@microcontroller7142 I think Margaret has faced it and learned from it, and is now finally finding peace.
No one person knows what is going on in your heart and therefore you have to find your own way yey!! for your your hand work and for finding ☮️ 👍💕
@@microcontroller7142 If someone is really abusive and toxic and it's harmful, sometimes the best thing is to stay away. You don't have to keep meeting it which allows them more chances to keep being abusive. Would you keep putting yourself in front of a dangerous animal so you can say you faced it?
Love what Dr. Joe Dispenza says as well, “we aren’t punished *for* our sins, we’re punished *by* our sins” by replaying the story over again in or mind. Forgive and release the “sin”, the hurt or betrayal, yourself and others, sets you free.
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Very good point.
Thank you for posting this.
"Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free, only to realize that you were the prisoner." - Max Lucado
"To understand all is to forgive all." - Evelyn Waugh
"Forgiveness is to offer no resistance to life; to allow life to live through you." - Eckhart Tolle
So someone abused your child and you forgive them , i think no way .
A child is pure individual , its not yours (thats ego too)
Dont accept the abuse but do what you can do good 💜
Wow. Loved the first quote.
@@sunshine-qk8qe I know someone who has done this, she refuses to be defined by what happened to her as a child or since then,, she forgives others awful behaviour towards her and is today a very kind compassionate bubblyand grateful young lady
Such a powerful and beautiful quote "Forgiveness is to offer no resistance to life ;to allow life to live through you"
3:20 You’re just not bringing the past into this encounter . . . that’s the miracle of transformation
"That ability is within you without reference to the past"
Forgiving you do for yourself, absoluty true.
This is good advice for dealing with reasonable people whom you might have had some disagreement with in the past. However, when it comes to dealing with people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, it's a recipe for setting yourself up for further abuse. Use good discernment when sizing people up, and if someone is just incorrigible, the best thing you can do is stay away from them.
You are so right. NPD is a whole different ballgame! Ugh.
I try to to look through the prism of compassion. Often bitter people come from sad and painful childhoods. And that is also a way to forgive ourselves!
It's easy to forgive others for hurting me, it's not so easy to forgive myself for hurting others.
My ego (my inner child) is afraid of being bullied and picked on by people who don't take the time to get to know me. I am ready to release that harbored bitterness
The child is not ego. It’s the emotions you’ve attached to the child and think are intrinsic to it that are the ego. The child is pure innocence and openness without past misperception.
I have been totally unconscious for the last two months or so, reconnecting with Eckharts teachings is such a relief.
I thought awakening would be a straight path, but no.
Many years to the arms of God.🎭
I constantly go between conscious and unconscious behaviours. It's definitely not linear but every time I visit Ekhart's content I get a relief.
Me too! Ego can be stealth!
Wow, thank you. I noticed in myself that certain thought forms from the past still live in me and it's like I have to react to them. My reaction and all that keeps me from being free and at peace. I guess this is my practice.
Wish me luck🙏
Sometimes things get a bit dark.
Remember that you’re amazing! Your parents, your ex’s, toxic people etc. Don’t make them become you. You must let go of what they have done. You must move on from what they did. Don’t carry the poison of hurt expecting your life to change. One must heal, forgive and let go to make SPACE for a new life.
~Much Love from a Law of Attraction RUclipsr💜
Eckhart’s book “stillness speaks” has a chapter on Relationship. I found it particularly useful in “Letting Go”. To quote my favourite- “ if her past were your past, her pain your pain, her level of consciousness your level of consciousness, you will think and act exactly as she does. With this realisation comes forgiveness, compassion and peace.”
Cause and effect operates ..not the law of attraction. Peace.🕊
I love this
"Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.”
“And for all these people alike, the key to healing turned out to be the same. Each had a hurt he had to forgive.”
~Corrie Ten Boom
Eckhart Tolle ❤️I am so grateful for your teachings. Thank you 🙏🏻 😊
Thank you .I have forgiven people.
And forgave those from years ago .
Thank you .
And see I saw the ex not long ago but there is no unpleasant memory now. It felt good to let go .
Thank you .🙏
'Essentially....there's nothing to forgive...because there's nothing to judge and no one to blame.' Wayne Dyer
It happened me too that when I dont judge people from the past and see them as something new, they sometimes happen to be new people, but others cant forget the past, we cant change others, just ourselves.
The stories we tell ourselves are the cause of our feelings and beliefs , tell ourselves enough times we are superior and we feel superior and believe ourselves to be superior, tell ourselves enough times we are inferior and we feel inferior and believe ourselves to be inferior, tell ourselves we are a victim and continuously remind ourselves of all the reasons we have the right call ourselves a victim and of course we develop a victim mentality, and you can't have a victim mentality and a happy peaceful mind.
When we become aware of the stories we tell ourselves we have the opportunity to stop listening to them and change our relationship with our minds for the better. The thoughts and feelings we argue for and defend most often,, will surely be ours and who we become. If we choose to neither think negative or positive, we are left only with what is right here right now.
So true. We can become wise or a victim...2 choices.
I did exactly that with my father!!! Now I understand why my father seemed to have changed his attitude with me
This is huge! Many of us carry these grievances for years.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me" isn't true. The memory of what someone said to you can linger for many years. I have been meditating for many years and it can still be hard to remain present. Thank you for reminding us to practice!
I've met lots of people who meditate but still struggle greatly, I'm sure medication can be a useful tool but I don't think it's a solution to struggling. This is just my personal observation.
Holding a resentment has been compared to soiling oneself. You’re the one who feels that.
Master, I thought I was full consciousness, but when I face my parents, their pain bodies rout my "self
'again, My pain body broken so thoroughly that I could not hold it. that night, my heart beat crazy, and one chronic disease(I think it is I brought into this dimension and carried it for more than 50 years) disappeared.
Many thanks.
Another way of seeing this is to' let go of resentment'. Go deep and feel the resentment no matter how justified. This can speed up the awakening process! 🙏
So true! Living in the past, no matter what the reason is for living there, is so detrimental to our spiritual growth! Thank you Eckart for reminding me of such! 💞
LOKAH SAMASTAH SUKHINO BHAVANTU is a Sanskrit phrase that translates to "may all beings everywhere be happy and free and may the thoughts words and actions of my own life contribute in some way towards that happiness and freedom for all" 💚👽🛸🐱🐶🐄🐷🐔🐳🐬🦜🦚🍀🍄🌎
Hello_Allie, that’s beautiful, thank you for sharing x
Neville Goddard also insists on the importance of forgiveness! I am working on that daily, I want to be in peace with everyone! Not always easy though! But we try!
I can say out loud and mean it "I want to forgive someone who really hurt me in the past so I can move on" but then I can still have horrible negative thoughts towards the person again and again. The ego really doesn't want to forgive at all - but I do. So frustrating.
Yeap and time goes by and your still here and more people join the list of opportunity's to forgive until you finally get it. I'm thinking I would need to get a electric shock collar to remind myself constantly that iv forgiven every one and to stop ruminating 😞
@@blablabla2616 Very true. Your comment holds a lot of meaning to me - "until you finally get it". I have to finally get it because I'm 47 years old!
This is what I’m dealing with. My family is so disappointing and I can’t interact with them without them letting me down upsetting me and it sets me back each time I see them. What do I do? Stop talking to them until my parents die? I haven’t spoken with them for 2 months and I feel better than ever. But it’s sad also.
Yes it is challenging, Evan but the most important relationship is the one that you have with yourself because it's the longest relationship you will ever have, you are the only person that you are going to be spending the rest of your life with and it's you who has to live with you so learning to set some healthy boundaries is a wonderful form of self-care and self-compassion
Complicate life; justify why. Are there good enough reasons to stay connected? At the very least, you could perhaps find people who you connect with positively and add to your life, who you can give and add in return.
Perhaps if you were to accept them as they are, warts and all, you may surprise you. Let them be whatever they choose to be at this point in their journey. They have their own awakening. Remember everything is always as it should be. They're where they should be. Just love them as they are. Love cures all. Just Be. ❤
I'm in a similar situation, so I know that you feel guilty somehow, for leaving them. But you gotta do this for you, and think at the best part: when you will be completely healed, when you will be very stable in your Presence, you will meet them again!
It happened to me with 2 0r 3 people not knowing this was the way to do it ...it really worked!!!
I am amazed to see the real Eckhart Tolle speaking!!!
Spot on!
Elkhart hit the nail on the head here. Drop your carrying of resentment or distaste for others from your past. Drop the Ego's stories and any grievance. Forgive, forget and Love sincerely. 🧘♂️
Don't bring the baggage of the past to the present moment and you can have a much more meaningful and sometimes transformational encounter.
📖 The Power of Now changed my life. I am forever grateful 🙏
Eckhart Tolle, a great spiritual teacher, and at times a very funny comedian. Love to all from Portugal.
I am a super forgiving spiritual man. I never hold a grudge and I try to be friends with everyone. Yes, I have been through a lot of battles from bullies at school, to family and relationship disputes. Almost murdered once, almost died a few times too. I have found a way to release uncomfortable feelings thoughts and emotions. I remain in the Now mode, nothing stands in the way of our reactions. We are in control of ourselves. We can't control what others do. Only advise.
Held a grudge against someone for over 10 years. He was the only man I ever loved and he betrayed me but I was so in denial about it for so many years i didn't even realize. I had to fall in love with someone even more deeply to realize this. I still dream about him and now he's with my ex best-friend and they are very happy together. I'm happy for them. It wasn't until recently I really learned how to forgive him.
From the many comments I looked through, it seems that few people have understood what Eckhart is saying. Bottom line is: Forgiveness itself is an egoic act. You don’t need to act as forgiving if you were in the now. Being in the now takes you out of this egoic trap called forgiveness.
Truth is an ever-folding flower, friend. Everyone is on a different level with a particular lesson. What feels short sighted in your world is a huge realization in mine, perfectly tailored for that moment by the compendium of my personal experience. No one can know where anyone else is in their own lives but them, we can only focus on ourselves.
What Eckhardt is saying here is stop focusing on everyone else and focus on yourself.
I remember the moment that I switched from believing that most people were good to realizing that most people are wannabe tyrants that try to control each other. It was the moment that I realized that humanity isn't worth saving.
Everybody can play that game if that is the game we are playing.
Perhaps watch ET last video on ‘ Avoiding Infectious thoughts’. You may have come across some bad actions but in reality you don’t know the totality of most people..so you perhaps see the ‘bad side’ and not the rest. In fact there are many good people in the world ..media doesn’t report on it but there are millions who are working selflessly to help others….perhaps try and connect with them…
Your ego has you in it's grip so maybe change the voice you're listening to. Ego isn't the real anyone but a false self that dissolves in the light.
You will probably never read this Eli but I just wanted to say that I view people in exactly the way you do after I spent many years being a people pleaser. It is myself I have to forgive for putting up with the truly evil behaviour that I have encountered ever since I was a baby. I will never forgive the perpetrators of such abuse and would be doing myself a great disservice if i did. If people want to kid themselves into believing that humanity is worth saving then at some point they are in for a very rude awakening. With love from a kindred spirit....
@@midnightblue3226 Same!
I agree with you!
This is so powerful❤. I needed to hear this today Eckhart 🙏🏻
“I forgive myself and others for all wrongs done to me and take full responsibility for my own life.”
We are not the same person today as the one who made mistakes in the past, we didn't have the experience back then we have now so we should not judge our younger selfs by the same standard we now expect of ourselves 🙏🙏🙏
DIVINE BLESSINGS, Love and and happiness 2 ALL!!!!
A great message, Eckhart. Parties and get-togethers can be wonderful places to be happy. And unhappy too, depending on whom we meet. A powerful reminder from Eckhart that we introspect our feelings, especially the resentful and unforgiving ones. Get to the root of them and dissolve them once and for all. 🙏🙏
The addiction kept by the desire to get advancees from the other person. You still want something from that person. You still see yourself as incomplete.
How true! Thank you!
Laura Pavone.! I must still feel attached to this person don't want to lose her!for various reasons although she hurt me.
I know this binds me, and I struggle to be free of this bondage.
Have found it so hard to let go of all the hurt from the past but I am trying with help from your podcasts. Namesta 🙏🙏🙏❤️
Brilliant! Hard to hear, but brilliant! For many of us, forgiveness is one of our biggest spiritual challenge. Hearing that my ego feeds on my not forgiving makes absolute sense. Knowing that it’s a dark blemish preventing me from fully awakening is a great concern. So I must choose between grievance…, or growth.
I think I get peace for ever now, hope so:)
Very insightful. Something to work on. Thank you, Eckhart!😊💜
I forgive my parents for what they did to me. I forgive them for everything i did that made them want to hit me and abuse me. And I forgive myself for making my identity be that victim from 10 years ago and still is. Thank you eckhart. Thank you universe
Such a beautifully brilliant human being,… and you’re funny!!!
I adore you
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He saved me... Thanks Eckhart 🙏
It's not easy when it's your parents, who are inconscious. It's always complicated even when we see the process.
only unconscious people see others as "unconscious". be careful. is just a sign that you are still in a degree of sleep yourself too... 🤫
@@writteninthesky I don't understand the point, Master seeing unconscious people too, or if I rewrite properly, see unconscious behavior who leads them maybe it's more correct like this!
Masters do not judge nor label other people, they do not feel in any way superior to others, they transcended their "I". There are no "others". You are AllOne 😉.
As Im speaking about bad things so called ego action so called unconscious behavior or violence (whatever). No jugement of what they are as one. Just truly conscious of what mental can create in Human mind (War as better example).
@@hereandnow213 labeling things as bad or good is still judgement. until you Realize, abstain from labelling things, persons, situations as 'good" or "bad". it is a good practice. try it for a few days, see how it goes, observe without judgements, labels etc. the meaning of "do not judge and you will be not judged"... means you will be not judged by "others", not by God at final judgement. Final judgement is at quantum level, all your thoughts, words, deeds and the harmony between the 3 are forever "recorded". unique vibrational signature 🌞
My heart ist often very heavy and I can’t believe that my life will become much better. I’m very depressed. I feel guilty and not strong.
But when I listen to Eckhard I can smile and the Dark goes away . I thank him so much.
your teachings and meditation videos, all of it I am so grateful for, thank you
Thank you, Eckhart.
My grievance is with myself. Guilt
Grievance is normal feeling as human being. Forgeving sometimes so hard but not impossible. Thank you so much Eckhart.
A strong spiritual presence I have. Yes, let go of what no longer serves your higher self
Maestro Eckhart: Muchísimas gracias! 😊🙏💚
I love how comic he is, the whole audience laughs when he brings awareness to our egoic ways🤣🤣
I awakened two years ago when I was in a very dark place not even realizing exactly how down I really and it was wonderful. However, since then it goes in and out even though I see things much differently than before. I feel this 3D existence that is so engrained in me keeps pulling me back and forth. It’s so hard for me to grasp being here and all of the evil around the world that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. So many unanswered questions that plague me and getting out of my mind which I know is the problem. Perhaps i will eventually because I know I can do more. 🙏
did i really received a heart from the master Eckhart Tolle? that is great :)
Very interesting. As I listened to this, I know I have two grievance with people/situation in my past. Thank you for your explanation and guidance on forgiveness.
I grew up with a cruel sibling who bullied me and made me feel so low my entire childhood. Extremely challenging to heal from this, such a heavy emotional pain body that still hurts me to this day. But at times I get a glimpse of Presence. And I see that I would have never glimpsed Presence if it weren’t for my sibling being the way she was towards me. And in that Presence I forgive
The hardest thing is to forgive someone who isn't sorry!
Unfortunately most who hurt us are not sorry and don't even think they did wrong!!! 🤯😨😡🤬
@@stacielivinthedream8510 True. Can you still forgive them? I bet you can :)
@@BetterYouBetterWorld I was agreeing with YOU!
@@stacielivinthedream8510 And I wasn't implying that you weren't! :)
@@BetterYouBetterWorld Awe! Thank you! 😊
Gratitude 🙏🏻 Eckhart Sir …. For being there 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Awakening is also called liberation. How can liberation happen when you tie yourself to the past and hold onto it by not forgiving? You can't hold onto the grudge and awaken at the same time. And so as long as you insist on holding onto it, awakening is delayed.
That's not quite correct . Awakening and liberation are totally different . Anyone can be awakened through a realization or movie , etc.. but Liberation means you are free from all ego and attachments .
Thank you that is essential listening
I don't know how many times in different periods of my life I watched this talk of Eckhart and every time his words penetrated through my heart but now when I watched it again while I was suffering from being dumped with a broken heart, words of Eckhart brings this mystical Persian poem to my mind from Rumi: Hey, who is with me, within me, who is me but sometimes hidden from me, every time when I recognize that I am you and you are deep in me, the darkness of night fades away and lights comes in my home, home which is located in the core of me.
Eckhart's words showed me how to be more present when I see my Ex. My Ex was a manifestation of this world to awaken me, he is not a substantive essence appears by himself.
We all did what we could in those circumstances op that time. I keep telling muself that pain and ressentment just keep wounds fresh... when I finally understood that the most part of my wrong choices and suffering came from my childhood, from the wrong choices of the grown ups that should be caring for me, I could forgive myself. I wasn"t to blame. And then I started the long difficult way to forgive others in my past. And let them go. That's when I started to feel free. I never repeated their mistakes with my child: they're were my teachers in suffering, the suffering I experienced. Being aware I knew how not inflict to my own child. And I understood that they were nor aware...they just repeated what they had learned and passed it forward. Family members, teachers, neighbours, friends...how many did I hurt without being aware lf it? I forgive you, I hope you will forgive me too. I let you all go, so goes my suffering, I am free. May you all be in peace, healthy and happy. Namaste🌏🌎🌍
I love you..ty..♥️☮️🙏
You're a blessing man, love your humor as well
Resist nothing, desire nothing,
It is the nature of awareness to allow experience to be as it is...
"Totally accepting your experience of this moment." A doorway to presence!!! Nice!!!!
Someone remove my inner gremlins plz 🤣
Oh my God this is so eloquent. I KNOW this gremlin too well I am afraid (: And I am completely aware it is a Gremlin..sometimes I feel "it" uses truth against me. What the person did was awful indeed. But it is the past and I don't want to walk around carrying that burden - or poison rather ...cause remembering that story is not a good feeling tale, yet it returns and returns. And I DO feel in other ways very happy - close to nature - God too if you will and very grateful to be on this earth in this body... but that "dark spot" does exist in me and does feel like it blocks me from full light . Thank you for your incredible wisdom teachings ❤
Tolle great
he is sooooooo great what he says!!!!
Thank you Eckhart❤️🙏😌
Dear Eckhart Tolle,
I like that meet the person without reference to the past...
this will change his /her attitude...Forgiveness is the great virtue !
Dr Sohini Shukla
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Thanks Eckhardt. I just needed to hear that. Very important message.
Thanks for sharing part of my energy you support is being appreciated for private reading and questions text me on the below number I clearly have a vision and message for you after reading your comment*****👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
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Thank you Eckhart
i understand this very well,i am more aware of what thoughts go around,and it is the same riddle and the same energy that keeps coming back,it are certain habits i find very hard to let go of but we are stronger and see it more for what it is,going slow and being present as much as possible helps me,thank you eckhart for showing us the way 🙏🏻
To forgive yourself first is too see there never was any doer, that there is no you to act or not act. This can then be seen in all others, and all life. Then finally, there are no others.
It's not just your ex. You want to meet your partner in the present and not carry around an idea of them from 2 years ago (and then get angry when they have changed).
guess what he means is that when you hold a grievance you believe and identify with a thought (the hurt is in the past) The person did something bad to you, that's a fact but you identify with that and "create" a story and you live conditioned by that thought (the ego does) . Therapy finally affirms the same. It's the ego that keeps the old hurt alive . You could also accept the hurt and move on with your life without keeping the "hurt " alive. Thank you Eckhart for this teaching
I forgive all 🙏
What happened to me and my ex didn’t say one word I don’t want to I just felt there was nothing to go back to say and you’re so right something wonderful happened to me in your spot on
The problem with humans trying to forgive is, we have too much memory!! Very difficult to erase heartbreaking history..
نعم احسنتي القول
Thanks Eckart❤️
Thank you.
I feel like getting abused by a narcissist woke me up in a good way
Thanks for sharing part of my energy you support is being appreciated for private reading and questions text me on the below number I clearly have a vision and message for you after reading your comment*****👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
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Wonderful teaching!
Eckhart Tolle has given us much; however, there is more. Spinoza and Gurdjieff’s teachings give us keys how to awaken our intuitive mind to understand the nature of our ego, then freedom from ego is possible. WayofSpinoza
I need to work on forgiving myself.
Eckhart Tolle🙏
Thank you for this nice and wise talk, thank you a lot. ❤ 🙏
Thank you. This was very helpful.
that only explains the consequences. but the real reason for unforgiveness is survival. you don't forgive because you feel it authorizes the other person to hurt you again especially if it's someone you live with. Forgiveness comes when you access the means to trust yourself and not feel vulnerable.
When we are totally present we will see a toxic and/or threatening situation so much more clearly. Then we will have the 'presence' to step away from it permanently. That is true self-defence (survival). And remaining in 'presence' will reduce and eventually eliminate our mind-form habit of getting involved with and/or exposing ouselves to toxic situations. I've lived this and my daily practise of mindfulness led to being more present, which in turn led to freedom from both personal and employer toxic relationships. The ego no longer has me chained in its never ending cycle of inviting abuse into my life being present is however a daily minute by minute practise. We have to work at it and want that freedom, with determination and self-discipline. The quick fix try or self-delusion /self-justification for staying in a toxic relationship just feeds the pain body.