The Psychology Behind Complaining-Why People Complain
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- Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024
- In this video, I talk to you about the psychology behind complaining. I explain a situation that I just witnessed at the grocery store, and tell you why people complain. I am a Psychology graduate and am passionate about being positive in life and not complaining. With that said, this video is a mixture of education and entertainment because I tell you about the science behind complaining and rant about complainers!
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Complainers complain because they are powerless to change or accept the situation they dislike. In other words, complainers show their lack of power by falsely feeling important.
Stop complaining about it then...
Villainous Vigilante some people complain bc they have a false senae of ego and theyre just negative. Not everyone who complains is a victim and needs sympathy. Some of them make it a habit and want attention depending on the frequency and nature of it. Most of the time though, thwyre small petty, nit picky complains that aren't worth giving attention to. If someone is hurt and in need, they should seek.professional help and not expect random people to help or.listen. it is just life. Nobody owes anyone anything.
Simple concise and very true
@@QQ-fo6bf Ur right about empathy not existing and I have 1 to add- no compassion. It's an EXTREMELY selfish world now. Every man for himself. If there is no benefit or something to gain from it...ppl dont do it. They don't think twice or blink an eye before feeling that this person must have A B C..and why should they be bothered? I hate that the "go to", generally speaking, is Their crazy, need attention, feel powerless. ?,,?Anybody!?? Maybe one day we can find our way back to just being human. The de-programming should start now . Thats the only way it'll get done in time! GOD BLESS
Are you complaining about complaining ha ha Ha ha ha
He is right most complainers dont do anything to fix their situation. And its anoying dont complain if you dont take responsiblity for your own life and fix your situation
Complaining about complainers, lol.
The irony is: it's the people who go around looking for stuff to complain about (like SJWs) who tend to be listened to, whereas the more contemplative people who keep their mouths shut unless they know their complaint is valid tend to be shouted down and accused of "whining." Now, whoever reads this can call _my_ post a "complaint," if it makes them feel good, but I chose to call it; describing what I see
Bottom line: if you want to be listened to, go talk to a shrink, because, as others in the comment section have stated: *_nobody cares._*
100!
🤣🤣🤣
Hey, it's like fearing fear, it's actually wise :D
I totally agree with you,before this video I thought that people complain because they cannot take responsibility for their actions and prefer to blame others as they use their complaints as a way to escape reality,but now I know that they are more aspects to it so thank you
I agree with everything this guy has said in the video, but I also think there’s another type of complainer as well.
It’s the type of complainer who struggles to resolve a crisis or dilemma and therefore feels that moaning will somehow make the problem go away.
However, if the complainer doesn't solve his or her crisis, it’s likely their complaining will continue.
Incompetent people can be a nightmare to be around.
Point is: everyone complains. everyone voices complaints differently, some complain more than others. My complaint about complainers is they complain, but don’t want my advice! 🤣
I am a huge complainer, but I do solicit other people's feedback and often act on it.
Sometimes people just need a listening ear &/or a resolutions inwhich they don't have.... being kind & soft words can be a wonderful thing towards the complainer.
Having a constantly complaining wife I know the reason she complains it’s because she expects everyone else to make her happy without having to do it herself, that’s my view after listening to her for over 30 years.
He sounds like he got agitated by the person complaining and now is ranting or COMPLAINING about how he is annoyed with complainers because he felt he couldn’t say this to the lady in the line and is now complaining on RUclips to be heard. He did NOT make this video to be educational he used his education as an excuse to COMPLAIN ABOUT COMPLAINERS lmmffaaoooo 🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀
The moment you realize you need to know something about complaining, this video can be useful.
"No body cares" I totally agree. I got no time for complainers! Just live your life and make the best of it before it's too late. LOL
There is an irony, here: career whiners, (like social justice warriors, e.x. Colin Crapperneck) tend to be accepted and people who have legit problems get told to STFU. Ah, there I go again, getting all political. Anyway, I posted this because I agree with what you said. I hope that cane across.
The psychology behind judging things about others (ie complainers) is that we are actually denying a repressed aspect within ourselves (Carl Jung’s and the shadow) - in this case the man judges himself when he complains therefore he’s projecting that judgement onto others. Also I do this too so no judgement on it, we all have shadows just good to become aware :)
Thanks for the content I'll change my communication and use my energy for other things
Arent we complaining about complainers so..
Doesnt that mean we're also complainers?
LOL
There's a fine line between stating and complaining I guess 😂
LOL... I was thinking the same thing. I'm passionate too about a lot of things... Like for instance why do so many motorist wait until making a left or right turn to use the turn-signal. The rule is to signal 100 ft before reaching the intersection. This helps especially heavily populated areas with high volume to go around the turning vehicle thus allowing a continuous flow of traffic.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Complainers complains for every single thing...and now it's our turn to state this issue cuz we had enough
It’s really depends on the circumstances of the complaining. I definitely wouldn’t complain about a person having difficulty but if you feel this way towards all people who complain you probably are not in the right field. People who are complaining about the circumstances that are going on in their lives are not doing so to make them feel important. There is a wide range of problems people face on a daily basis and they could be seeking validation on why they feel the way they do. You are correct when you say people don’t care because if they did they would have emphony instead they just ignore. When a mother has to show tuff love and cut off the financial support of a grown child she’s the farthest from important. She’s the guilt ridden Mother who turns the blame on what she did wrong. Maybe the complaining means she needs encouragement to stop enabling. Maybe she needs to know that someone understands and agrees that she’s doing the right thing. Maybe she doesn’t want everyone to look down on her because she’s a bad Mom. Maybe she invisions her child homless and hungry. She maybe going through heath issues and knows she might not be around long to be the safety net anymore. Maybe her child has children. Maybe the burdens are heavy and she needs to just let it out because bottled up is no longer an option. It’s really a cry for help far from the sense of importance. She maybe the only one willing to reach down and pull them from the pit. Think about that when you say everyone hates complainers there world is surrounded by wolves in sheep’s clothing.
I think about the things, the reasons behind the scenes as to why people complain. Sometimes, I give a lending ear and a little bit of comfort. I complain myself, and there at times I feel dirty. It wasn't right to manipulate or handle someone unfairly. It makes me think, in the end, there are no reasons to justify the bad feelings and thoughts I feel after hearing someone complain. I am not responsible at the end of the day for how these complainers regulate themselves. I am, however, responsible for how I act and how I feel. People need to be able to change out of their own volition. I'm experiencing this myself, and it is not an easy road. In short, complainers need to fix their lives by fixing how they feel about themselves and be proactive (do something), mindful (aware), and positive (happy).
So basically you proved his point. Being a good mom makes the mother feel like she is important. It's important to her that her child does well in life. That's why she does it. Simple.
Complaining is chronic/generic. I’ve seen families do this because it’s what they’ve seen growing up with their parents. When they’re in the real world and complain, they see it as normal conversation when it’s really rude and makes people feel uncomfortable. I’ve seen adults complain, judge and show passive aggressive angry remarks…then complain about their parents… who do the same thing.
Ain’t it ironic that he’s complaining about complaining?
TLDR version: "People complain to feel important" - it took him 7min to say that.
He is complaining about complaining.. He sounds stuck up... I think this makes him feel important. I think people complain to raise awareness about an issue that are struggling to overcome on their own and are seeking help, advice or just want to know if they are alone or why
XzG4B3xZ 1 Good point. But there are people who complain (in a whiny way) just to complain/seek attention, and those who complain to raise awareness.
XzG4B3xZ 1 venting...
X2G4...A nice change to see someone with that Wonderful, outdated, ur crazy mentality of COMPASSION! ur comment refreshed me, there is STILL some Hope
Great topic bro because the woman I'm dating complains about EVERYTHING every single day and it is taking it's toll on me because i don't spend precious time complaining about things I can not change so I seriously deciding to cut things off because this is who she is as a person and she is damaged goods so I need to break away otherwise she will pull me down with her constant negative complaining.
You say you hate complainers then why you complaining about the grumpy lady and cashier you say you don't complain but this video right here 7 minutes and 16 seconds shows that you complained
For a person who doesnt like complainers, he is complaining quite a lot in this video
Thank you very much, I can't stand to be around complainers and people who constantly look to insult people. I gravitate towards positive people. I worry when people who are family and friends get into this rut and I have to police my own behavior.
I learned you never tell people what you go through just say what you learn, and it was the funniest memory everyone ever remember so at least we can agree on that
So true!!! The second someone starts complaining my ears automatically shut off. The thing is that you dont know how much others around you are suffering. For years at work I listened to people complain about hating their jobs, schools, food, way of life, etc. But really they were All just spoiled brats who had been given everything their whole lives and had grown to take that for granted. It was really an easy job with minimal work but all youd hear about is how much they hated it. Well they got what they asked for when the pandemic hit and now I'm sure theyre complaining about being at home.
All the while I suffered with severe seizures and bipolar disorder for years, suffering in silence. Never complained because it annoys me so when I realized I needed to change I did and now I'm better. I did it on my own, no complaints along the way.
The people who complain the most always complain waaaaaaaay more than those who are actually suffering. Remember that the next time you whine about having to home school your children or forsake your second cup of Starbucks. Grow up and stop whining america!
True. I do complain about my crap but not about the little things, even perceived, as my family member. She is very toxic.
I wish you wouldn't drive and do a video at the same time - makes me anxious. I hope you don't mind this complaint hee.
No worries! I'm tight on time so it's one of the only ways I can produce as much content as I do!
I'd show this to my mother, but she'd just complain about it.
For people in my life who complain. Friends, coworkers, family. Usually my technique is to quickly change the subject or have them focus on something completely different.
Specially if they have something against me or are in a mood that day.. it’s best to change the subject and keep at a distance. Atleast for that day.
If they complain to me about something I did.. Something dumb that I shouldn’t apologize for...
I again; change the subject. Don’t apologize. And leave the scene.
If you did nothing wrong?
“DONT APOLOGIZE”
I literally said this to my coworker! I never seen someone at war with himself! He told me he’s at the brink of insanity! But continues! I don’t care if it was about a toaster his son or America 🇺🇸 in general the minute he walks through the door he has something negative to say about everything! He just wants to be herd but he’s not a nice guy for the fact that misery loves company! He just wants to hear himself talk! Threatening coworkers and clients! I’m surprised he’s not fired yet
Isn’t this video a complaint?
Very true I walked away yesterday from someone that I have known since as a child, I went back to France and this lady saw me booking my flight to visit another country she started complaint about how she couldn't go visit her niece because she doesn't have 5 euro instead of asking me directly. She continued to complain about how she couldn't pay for electricity. I got tired of her complaining I just walked away and told her she needed to stop complaining to people instead go to god.
Thanks. also if you complain to them they wont listen to you but they want u to be all ears when they complain. I decided I wont lend an ear anymore if they wont lend theirs. SO have no empathy as much as possible and take care of your own self emotional worth
Why are you yelling? Cameras right in front of you
But I’m not complaining? I’m purely asking a question.
Because he's loud big mouth bitch
I've complained about a complainer to another complainer.
With my coworker, I gave affirmative body language, listened, engaged in conversation, but the girl ALWAYS ends the convo with"I don't know" rehashes the story to the next person, an acts like I didn't just spend time trying to help her through her feelings an lifting her up. Then I realized she PUTS HERSELF in these stupid situation by either over sharing or whatever , and seems to just live off the drama and complaint cycle. I've started tuning everyone out by wearing both my ear buds, but now others get less of my light because of her. I can't stand this archetype of a person.
They don't want solutions. I've seen this behavior and used to fall for it, I'd want to help give advice etc. but they'd just complain about the same thing over and over to whoever gave them an ear. I really lost respect for people who did that and I'd distance myself.
I can’t listen to the yelling anymore I have to go bye-bye
😂 thank you. I needed to hear that. Just was a victim of complainer 1 hour ago and still steaming about staying nice to her.
Finding the solution is better than complaining
Ty🙏 for the video📹, so true☑️
if you can't complain then you can't correct injustices by others or bring light to real problems. you just gonna let people walk all over you? let the world destroy itself? its an important tool, not to say you can't abuse it but we need it more often than not these days.
"I am psychology graduate and I absolutely HATE complainers. I am very passionate about being positive in live and not complaining about things..." What a contradiction! And he's complaining about complainers! HAHAHAHA. So ironic. Can't take this guy seriously. I mean, just listen to his whiny voice.
I was thinking that too. A truly positive person wouldn't get all worked up because someone else said some words. This is America. People are gonna say what they want. If that bugs you enough to make a you tube video about it, you need to work on being more positive.
This simplifies the rule how to deal with complainers or why they are like that.
It sounds like you're complaining.
Everyone complains
THANKS FOR THE INFO 💝 BLESSINGS TO YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES ALWAYS GRATEFUL GRACIAS 💖
And someone near me is complaining that I am listening to you lol
Complaining is certainly not a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and, in fact, is detrimental to the peace, joy, and patience that come from the Spirit. Complaining is probably one of the sins most tolerated by Christians. We tolerate it and perhaps don’t even think of it as sin because we’re all so prone to do it. But to grumble against any person or any circumstance is really to grumble against the sovereign God who wills and works all things in our lives. A complaining spirit leads to fighting and quarrelling because complaints come from unfulfilled desires. Clearly, as believers we are challenged not to grumble or complain; rather, we are to love one another deeply so that we may become “blameless and pure” in God’s eyes. Those who serve the Lord should not be known for arguing, but for humble service. What is the chief end of man? To glorify God and enjoy Him forever. What does it mean to glorify God? To make Him look good, as He truly is. To glorify God means that when people look at our lives as Christians, they should extol and exalt our God whom they see shining through us. So as children of God our testimony--what our lives communicate about our Savior--should be uppermost in our thinking so that our attitudes, our behavior, and our words bring glory to God. As God’s people we are supposed to shine forth in this dark world as lights, holding forth to people the word of life, the gospel of Christ.
Colossians 3:23-25
"And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ. But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality."
I admit i complain about certain things like school and stuff like that but my stepmom gets on my nerves when she is always complaining if she asks me to rinse dishes she always tells me the way im doing it is wrong like let me do it my way and she tells me to leave dishes in the sink if the dishwasher is full then she complains about leaving it in there i just wish i could properly handle the complaining better because ive gotten to the point where i snap and i tell her that the complaining is just really annoying and to just stop
Some complaining is necessary otherwise idiots won't solve problems.
Anybody notice that he is passionate about thus subject?
I'm dead@! lmao
*_I can't stand people who come to RUclips whining all the time about people who give a video a "thumbs-down".I'm like STFU already.Some people give thumbs down just for attentions,others simply may not like the song or video._*
stop complaining xD
I'm a complainer I know I'm annoying and have no friends so I'm hoping to get some advice here to be better I don't want to push people away and not have friends
love your energy, sometimes I really just wanna hear someone yell it out loud: NOBODY CARES!!!!!!!!!!!
Isn't he complaining about complainers?
Thanks for this video, it helped me!
What do you do if the complainer is 89 yrs old. They feel VERY lonely because no one wants to be around to hear the same old stories/complaining all the time... any advice offered is met with defensiveness.. How do you teach an old dog new tricks comes to mind... Any tips??
Maybe try to get them to comeout and get new experiences to tell. YOu could say I've heard these all before about so and so or this particular event I could retell it to you! But do it nicely they want connection.
Complaining about god damn complainers
Complaining is a lazy activity and accomplishes nothing especially in the long run. You either address a problem or don't and accept it. That's it.
I hate when people complain about new things in the RUclips comments about new things. People do that in the comments section from scenes from old things
Don’t confuse complaining with actual grievances
Spot ON!
1 min silence for those who Clicked This video to see Dwayne Johnson
Thank you bro
Ok, I will. Thanks
The irony of this video is that you’re complaining..
I agree with you I hate complainer also
He ends with a rant.
Is that a complaint or an observation?
Or is he just "passionate"?
Does he feel important now?
I m making a you tube video “Stop screaming “
I just the door and walk away from people like this
Honestly, it all comes from narcissism.
How to deal with complainers? Tell them to STFU, if they don't, do it for them.
Great stuff
Did you do a video complaining about complainers ha ha ha ha
I don't have time to complain i am more a business kind of guy :D
I been telling people ignorance is not bliss but i find NOW it more depends on if you are NOT involved in the problem. :P
I live with a complainer, fuqin torture!!!! 😖
I think people who can claim a week in my life and can't figure out the other people are getting over on them.
Oh, the irony.
Aren't you complaining about complaining right now?!?🤔
That Is what I was thinking lol🤣🤣🤣
I. Don’t hate. Complainer
You sound like Saul Goodman
You’re fucking amazing!!! Love this video
people keep complaining i stink even after a shower or bath. i had original had enough money saved up to live on my own in my own house and share custody of just two kids at the time but everyone decided to take ownership of my money. but that getting away from the complainers would of been better then any vacation. people are constantly saying i smell her butt and i dont smell it now .its like give me a break i didnt have to know you people and it would of been better then a vacation for life.abs
I've been having some problems since Instagram of this person DM me about her brother being hurt and she b about me and I was like what did I do wrong you just came to rule my life just because all you complain on me for no reason I'm a nice person and people just complains about me for no reason
Is this video a joke? Cus you litterally are complaining about complainers
He had me up till he said you had to do something to feel important, that’s still insecure sir. To feel important is to know your true self. This is why advice without God is dung, you make mistakes and come to bad conclusions. That’s why the scripture says, without God you can do no good. Even if you think you’re giving good advice and thinking your helping peoples
Thought this guy just made car maintenance videos
We are doing karaoke at doolys bar..people are complaining cause we went from 2 songs each to one sing each cause of to many singers ..lol..now there all complaining lol..
Sometimes you got to overlook people like that because they either have lack of sex or too much sex or either day having trouble sleeping over sleeping or they just me to be civilized and stop rubbing it on other people do you work do your job like you supposed to.
Complaining about complainers
Message was good & I agreed with all since I too dislike complainers...but i truly believe this msg could have been delivered in a more peacefuI manner & it would had been perfect! - I understand passion but DAMMM I felt aggrevated and annoyed by the end of the video - It was truly a complaint about complainers... 😓🥴 😖🤦🏾♀️Smh! - just a thought. 😇 Blessings!!!
What about complainers who actually ARE important and HAVE power, like Donald Trump, Michael Savage, Howard Stern, and Rush Limbaugh?
lol
Paria Canyon I mean. They got off their ass and made a career out of it.
But you are complaining the whole video.
🤣🤣
The lady. The grumpy lady is karennnn
sheep don’t complain
Thank you, I thought I was being insensitive for not want to hear that ish lol
Yet the whole time he's complaining about people complaining.. Hehehe
Hey everybodyyyyyyyyyyyyy my video has SHIT audio quality and I only talk in run on sentences *downvote*
This whole rant is basically you complaining.
You just complained in this video...ha ha
Good vid!
May be you complain to show people that you are oppressed thus if you failed it is not your responsibility it is because of others to stop complaining stay away from those who usually blame you about everything
My madam also compalining everyday..but i dont care .i leave her while she talking hahhaha