How to Stop the Complaining in Your Head From Ruining Your Life!
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- Feels good to vent, but research shows that complaining over time is not only bad for our mental health, but for our physical health too. Whether it's about politics, the weather, our kids, our jobs or relationships - the habit of complaining rewires our brain for negativity and brings us and others down over time. In this video I'm going to share a bit of that research with you, but also a 4 step process that can help you nip the unhealthy habit of complaining in the bud and reverse your mind's focus to a healthier focus for better mental and physical health.
How to Stop Complaining and Ruining Your Life!
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• How to Stop the Compla...
#stopcomplaining #Anxiety #elishagoldstein
Thank you for the video. I am an ex-complainer. Got rid of my complaining habits for over 15 years now. I stopped watching the news brainwashed myself and recognized that I'm a mortal being and my time is ticking away although I'm still young!
I replace complaining with gratitude
I like the recognize, release, refocus idea. I've been using breathwork to chill the fuck out because I had been a cynical asshole long enough to push away people I care about. That was one big pile of recognition.
I use the Paced Breathing app to set a pattern of 5 sec inhale, 7 sec exhale, 1.5 sec holds in between. Had an annoying little twitch in my eyelid go away immediately. I like how your 3 R's relate to breathwork. It helps do all three steps.
Self-deprecating humor helps with the recognition and release part for me. I can unclench more easily when I can step back and see my wingeing as funny and laugh about it. Laughter really is a weird and amazing process, helps handle the weird contradictions in human nature.
Been enjoying using awareness of breezes as a way to refocus. It ties in nicely with the sense of the breath and smell, the awareness of the moment as an ongoing thing. I work as a gardener so there are a lot of nice opportunities to feel some good breezes. But even when working inside there are breezes from people walking by or fans or a door opening\closing. Or just feel the stillness in the air and focus on my breath, whatever is nice.
I never complain but sadly I'm sucked into the trap of complaining about complainers
Complaining about the complainers. Hahahahaha! So what are we going to DO about it? We can't have relationships with others without hearing their complaints? Are WE able to have relationships and never complain to others? I think it comes down to "chronic" complaining, both in our heads, and to others. It's one thing to mention that we're sick right now, or that we just had a car accident, etc., but it's quite another to drill down into the DETAILS of every terrible aspect, or to begin BLAMING others for our plight.
So if we mention that we're sick right now, we only do so if required (to explain why we aren't able to participate in something) and then drop it quickly, lest we program ourselves to become the identity of sickness, and impress upon someone else that we're just a "sick person." Nobody needs the gory details, and NOBODY wants to hear ANY of them. Better we mention "I'm going to be just fine. Just need a little rest. In fact I think I'm already on the mend."
I like the saying "Never explain. Never complain."
Ha! i'm already ahead of you. I only complain about people who only complain about complainers.
I needed it this morning! I have been complaining way too much that’s become a habit, causing way too many physiological problems for me and for my mom that listened to me!!! I will share this with her too. Thank you for all you do 💜💜💜
I carry complaining in my neck. It manifests as chronic pain.
Elisha, Substituted the term self-criticism for complaining and encountered pure gold in your teaching. Namaste, All ways love, Sandi.
First video about complaining that presented complete steps . ❤❤❤❤❤
Glad it was helpful!
My boyfriend is a big complainer, blamer. He rarely takes responsibility for his emotions. I think because he repressed them and is unaware of them. Complaining is like the shortcut out of actually feeling some emotion.
I'll have to create a new personality, I don't know who am I going to become if I'm not complaining 😅
Thank you. I am very aware of my complaining.& negativity; have worked on it for most of my life & remain a work in progress.
This was really useful. We often think of worry / rumination being the prevailing unhelpful thinking habits, but 'complaining' as a variation of these might be often overlooked. Grumbling away in our own ahead or with others is well worth addressing. Thank you for highlighting this... PS. And being British, the list of British complaints is hilarious! :D
Very good 👍 Thank you 😊
I wasn't aware of the mental and physical effects of complaining. I enjoy learning from you.
I'm all about the gratitude.
Complaining is a form of control and a manipulation tactic. My partner is a relentless complainer.
I think my 63 yr old partner has ADHD and if ONE thing goes wrong then everything is AWFUL. This is so exhausting. He is an expert at noticing what is WRONG.
One wrong event will set off a tirade of complaints of things that happened years ago!
He is always a victim....this is how he sees himself and it sucks for me to see him like this. Ugh.
I watched RUclips videos about how complaining rewires your brain to complain even more! It is not good for the complainer
but what does it do to the people who have to ENDURE listening to endless complaining? It has
GOT to bad for the partners of the complainers also.
Thank you Elisha, I really needed to hear those. I wanted to change my complaining behavior but I was so lost not knowing what to do. Your tips seem very useful, I'll try. ❤️
תודה רבה דוקטור!
BVakasha :)
😂 חחח קןרע!@@drelishagoldstein
I don’t complain and thought that was bad for my health. Unfortunately, I listen to a lot of people who are always complaining about something.
Yeah, if you're not a complainer being around complainers is bad for you because we're the mood killers
thanks handsome. this AM I’m appreciating this vid & your generosity of spirit.
Great and really helpful video. It’s a good reminder for me to notice more about my complaining habits! Thank you Elisha. 🙏🙂
Thanks, Elisha, for this!
Thanks for this presentation, it's absolutely beautiful and very helpful.
Glad it was helpful!
Wow that helped. I was carrying my boyfriends complaining in my back.
Complaining is a word created to make the population compliant.
I just found your channel and really like the topics you cover! I had read that complaining ends up making us feel worse so I practice quieting that impulse.
Yes! Thank you!
Amazing thank you! ✨
You're so welcome!
Hope this one helps turn the volume down on the complainer in your mind and creates a bit more space to be happier 🧠😀
🦙 Want to regain a sense of focusing on what matters so you can be more effective and enjoy life more? Explore what's possible with the Uncover the Power Within Coaching Program: elishagoldstein.com/uncover-the-power-within
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🖊 Quote of the week: "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, he turned into a butterfly.”
-Anonymous proverb
Good stuff. TY
Very helpful reminders!
Wow 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you 🙏
0:52 starts here!❤🎉
My mom in law talks negatively, complaining all day long. She is 80 years old and it seems she is gonna live to 100. We, on the other hand, try to hide from her because of it and feel like the death is waiting for us around the corner. It seems she is winning and we are losing 😂😂
Thanks Elisha! RRRebecca :)
Good to see you here Rebecca :)
How do I find your link to uncover the power within
Hi Molly, thanks for asking, it should be in the description, but you can also access it here:elishagoldstein.com/uncover-the-power-within/
What a BS please mark it as for Women
I am holding my complaining on my jaw. So I have tmj disorder, sore all over my neck, shoulder and yes my butt too.
First video about complaining that presented complete steps . ❤❤❤❤❤