How long should you wait to have sex?
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- Опубликовано: 2 июл 2022
- Apologies for my voice (I lost it protesting the Roe v. Wade overturning). Now I sound like a prepubescent boy talking about sex.
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Just in case this video meandered too much to be clear, the (very scientific) formula is this:
How long should you wait to have sex = what your goal is with sex + how much do you trust the other person isn’t misleading you into something you don’t want
So, that could add up to having sex on the first night or having sex on the wedding night. Just remember, this doesn’t depend on sexist norms or when the other person wants sex. It depends on YOU and when you want it. (I just push for having sex earlier and more frequently because it’s my personal preference, and I feel like women are constantly told to wait because of BS dating rules.)
Honor yourself.
p.s. when I talked about “lowering your barriers”, I didn’t mean lowering standards or having sex before you trust someone. I meant, stop viewing sex as this big explosive thing that will ruin everything if you have it at the wrong time (or even as something that will ruin you if the person leaves after). There is no “wrong” time. There is only the time you choose. And there is no way for someone to “ruin” you. Every experience you have only makes you wiser and more rich with lived experience.
p.p.s. please excuse my voice in this video. I lost it protesting the overturning of Roe v. Wade
I think its about perspective and standards, a hook up is not the same as a relationship, in a relationship i think sex should come as third to trust and respect
Every experience you have does not equate to you being wiser. Feminists sell this lie to young women all the time, while disengaging responsibility from intimacy. Although, it is a personal choice, women should also understand accountability and that there are consequences, and that they bare the greater risk when it comes to intimacy.
@@KatyaVasilivna This comment is the culmination of human literacy, so much information delivered to perfection.
@@KatyaVasilivna what do you say to the 59% of women getting an abortion who already have children? their birth control failed them and they can’t afford another child. what is the solution? should these women not have sex with their husbands???
@@bebeerin "59% of women who get abortion who already have children, together with failed birth control" Stop the cap.
Be more responsible and understand that actions have consequences. Don't have sex unless you want to have a child or at least are conscious that a child can be the result. Other alternatives as opposed to murder.
I have been abstinence, for 4 years, in August! I had my child at 38-years-old. I am a single parent! I am doing it because it truly is the right path, for me. Also, it is showing my child that she can wait! I will be honest, I wasn’t allowed to learn about the female reproductive system, nor was I talked to or showed how to PMS (anything) I am an adult now and I still struggle with this so abstinence is my answer. I really appreciate this topic! It is empowering and giving me the courage to be able to have the talk when the time comes!
I'm curious but what is your main reason for abstinence? Is it religious? I ask simply because I would like a genuine dialogue about the subject. I rarely interact with voluntary celibates (not by choice and I definitely do not judge or look down on anyone). I'm not here to try to convince you otherwise, just would like to know 😁 thank you.
@@whosaidthat84 i think it has a lot of many different reasons. Just like when people fast and pray! For me, I have trauma, I also had hurt and pain from my own misunderstanding of “love” and relationships!... I am learning about myself and learning to love myself! I also feel that by choosing abstinence I can focus on taking control of my life! Every relationship I have ever had never loved me and only used me. I find that my perception of sex and intimacy related to my feelings and it was never reciprocated and wasn’t good on me at alll…. Hope that makes sense. I also get a cloudy mind and lose focus once I fall for a person and life gets harder and I find myself kicked to the curb. I am happy this way… can you give me feedback what all this is saying to you? What is your response to what I am choosing. I mean what do you think of what I just wrote, honestly?
@@memyself4431 thank you very much for responding. It was very a informative and intimate response! I'm really sorry that underwent all that trauma in the past. I've had my share of that too, but I'm really happy to hear that you've taken control of your life and found happiness.
Your reasons will always be your own and you should never have to justify them to anyone. I'm a married man who loves to have sex, so it was interesting to me to learn about someone who's in a much different position than I am.
I wish you and your daughter the best! I say that as a father of two girls 😁
From personal experience, don't expect that because you can wait your child will be able to wait. You are two completely different people.
@@TSkyD good now what was the purpose of telling me this message?
You are fricken hilarious. Always love your videos
MARRIAGE
Thank you for pointing out how terrible the old dating rules are. They needed to die years ago.
As a guy, my advice to other men was that everyone woman was different and the sex will happen when it happens. Patience is one of the most powerful tools when it comes to the dating world. If you force the issue, you violate her comfort zone, and when you violate her comfort zone, it's basically over at that point. Also, that they should never expect sex at any point. Things must naturally progress until they get to that point.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
Is it ok that I am a 24 year old man and a virgin and not experienced
Very ok. Don't worry.
MARRIAGE ❤❤❤ WAIT TILL MARRIAGE
I love you for this topic
Ahah I have a lot to say about it
Would you consider doing a video about green flags in dating?
Laaaaawl the only green flag is no red flags 🤣🤣🤣 (but okay, I’ll consider it 😅)
I love you!!!!!!
Is it weird that i want to have sex casually but im also afraid that when i get into a more serious relationship with someone else and have sex with them they’ll judge me/ think less of me for having had sex casually in the past or be disappointed that we’re not sharing our first time together?
Bruh if they judge you for having casual sex then fuck them. There’s nothing wrong with wanting and having sex when you’re not in a serious relationship, some people want to wait and others don’t every person is different and that’s ok.
It's not about them judging you but like if you just take sex casually in your head it's just something you do for fun then it's sometimes difficult to be in a serious committed relationship cause you miss the crazy times . Sometimes it's hard for people to stay loyal even when they want cause their body is so used to sex with multiple partners casually
Instead of thinking of the people who would judge you for it, accept that that's their decision but there are also people out there who would be ok -or even like- that. That's your crowd.
I feel like you’ve become a relationship coach now
Gracias, Taylor!
Cool... 🤔
Can you be my best friend? Please!
I love the way in which you banter and the way in which you talk about things!
Slaaaaay queen.
love you!!!!!!!!
After marriage for me. Aside from spiritual reasons, never saw the point in dating without the purpose of marriage. Secondly, I wouldn't want to put myself in a position where I could possibly get pregnant outside of wedlock. Thirdly, having children is important for me and statistically children are better off in a two-parent (who is married) household. Fourthly, the higher your body count, the lower your ability is to pair bond and the more your sexual market value decreases.
Men: Protect your seed.
Women: Protect your purity.
I would criticize "purity," as a woman who had sex before their "one" in marriage isn't less "pure," nor should her "one" love her any less, leave her for another woman, hold it over her, emotionally abuse her, and so on. And there are clear sexist double standards at play. But I do agree that it is so excruciatingly painfully obvious that what we are truly searching for to fill our void is Married Love--the proper end of sexuality and relationships: two partners who are meant for each other, being co-equals who infinitely grow in love with each other, and more and more become one. That actually scratches the itch we all want scratched, but many try to fill it with sex with others (even if there is sensuality or loving another person involved), but eventually arrive at it.
"Sexual Market Value," too, is such a fallen and fake-love term. If someone didn't want to be with another person because their "body count" was too high, they don't truly love them--period. Love is a pure embrace that annihilates all jealousies, worries, insecurities, and embarrassment. Love ought to be as unconditional as possible. Anything else, no matter how comfortable we may feel, is us in falsity.
Nah that seed falls into the shower drain every day.
Plus, thinking in "market value" doesn't seem to do much for self worth. If a woman has sex 20 times before marriage, she isn't "less" valuable than one who is a virgin. This ain't the 17th Century where 15 year old virgins are a 40 year old man's wet dream.
purity culture toxicity🚩🚩🚩
Considering the vast number of women who are sexually assaulted by their intimate partners, I'd promote sexual assault prevention beforehand.
Can they respect boundaries?
Will I be ready if they "hit it and quit it"? Like so many men really, really wish to do, in an effort to "try all the flavors".
Am I actively shooting down slutshaming and myths that repress women's sexuality.
This must be the Harvard way.
At M.I.T., timing and other considerations are governed by pon farr. If you're lucky, it doesn't happen during finals week.
Lol omg 😂
You should wait 69 days.
I want to get married now
Not old
What is that - old britsh term
I been with lots woman
Now I want to get married
Must have same personality
I love thick and active
Slim thick
Cyclist
Tall as basketball player
It’s what I like 👍
I love feminism, great advice.
Look i slept around with different type of women i never rush anything and there nothing wrong having sex with other women while u single got sexual needs can't just turn it off .but if u going hop from 1 bed to other use some protection keep yourself clean both men and women need understand that .plus by sleeping around a bit help u learn what u like what u don't like gain experience at same time .i no male pig i do have morals i don't just take easy women hook up with no fun in it .but every men and women go out to party or club for 2 things met new people and get laid to .most women won't show they there get laid they try hide it but if u get her loose herself up a little she end up liking u she show it more may grab u take u somewhere away from party have fun with each other .when i dated girl back in high-school she wanted us wait until end of our senior year .we dated about 1 1/2 years .come prom night she told me she got accepted to outstate college so told me let leave prom when to hotel not to far from high-school. Got into home told me she ready i ask her if she really sure she go yes .she was on pill i took out my condom she told no i want really feel skin to skin contact feel your penis in me .we use condom after for round 2 later .i took her virginity and she took mine .we used foreplay on each other .sex was great she enjoyed it .but some women like wait get know guy it understandable and same guy want know her as well .if things go well maybe after 1st date or 2nd date u endcup having sex .