I am in awe of confident people as well 👍 Discovered along the way of life that it all starts with our “inward thinking” what are we thinking about ourselves 🤔 It’s important to focus in on anything positive we can see or think of, which can help bring us to a point of showing confidence as well….. important to truly believe that You Are Loved, and that happiness starts with making “choices” to become joy-filled :-)
You are worthy of such confidence. You are in awe of what you wish to experience yourself and you are worthy of such confidence. Don’t give up on yourself🙏
@@lisaaromano1Grateful you adress lot of narcissistic abuse as well as toxic religious abuse. Not especially religious abuse in this one but unfortunately narcissistic abuse - emotional abandonment is root of manipulation of selfworth and everything of life of abundance Jesus came for; killed, robbed and stolen from the thief. The thief being the narcissistic gaslighting - how children is corrupted in narcissistic gaslighting with Jesus is very toxic and why do lot of people die inside church and marriage? Toxic interpretations of narcissistic abuse and agenda create deception and codependency , living hell on earth. Only truth, love and personal faith, boundaries set us free. . Unless we become like children, heal inner child, Kenneth Lock talks about in inner child, Evolve church. Only place I heard about Spiritual and Biblical hypocrisy and actually Jesus tell people go back to childhood And heal inner child,bcs of broken attachment to love of unloving parents ..." And he said, I tell you the truth, unless you become like small children, you will never enter the Kingdom of heaven. Truly I say to you, unless you change and become like children you will not enter the Kingdom of heaven. Jesus ( Matt 18:3). Grateful for your content, heart, awareness about heavy lies and issues. People bring sanity from dysfunctional home and trauma. To be able see that nothing was anything of God is undoing lot of the damage of toxic religious narcissistic gaslighting. Also Patrick Teahan, Jerry Wise, Michelle Farris , Terri Cole, Therapy in a nutshell/Emma McAdam provides lot of content on trauma etc ...Lot of problems in culture of not understand toxic religious abuse or narcissistic gaslighting - Lack of holistic perspectives: environmental context( family systems) complex trauma . Dr Leaf speaks about the cultures neglect of many perspectives in "Clean up your mental mess. Authenticity from Spiritual context is rare. Black pastors in Potters house Dallas focus on Evolve women a lot and break lot of church default : Td Jakes, Don Johnson and Sarah Jakes etc. But still lot of unconscious patterns of where narcissistic gaslighting taught selfishness corrupt beliefs and needs of connection to self- whats loss of selfworth is often narcissists stolen joy, trust : installed beliefs about shame and guilt mixed w moral = gaslighting of self w toxic religious trauma - Unconscious beliefs about wordsalad corrupt lunconditional love- attachment... faith / trust - to be healthy narcissistic, not afraid bcs of the narcissistic gaslighting weaponized faith against you. To love God w all heart, soul, mind - and others as yourself require a self to even be able to understand others and lot of in between reality of boundaries, responsibility, differences of peoples needs and experience. Its ahame and guilt from narcissistic gaslighting and parents manipulate ,neglect and corrupt teachings of love,that is at root. Its time society gets more trauma informed, context based, laws and cultural broad understanding of covert narcissistic gaslighting and lot of hidden misery in toxic religious abuse- church and marriage: prevent Girls, children , women and people of all kind end up in long term chronic abuse - cptds- codependency and emotional and Spiritual abuse. ❤️🩹🧘♀️🕊
You are an Amazing, intelligent, brave woman. I am finally learning about why I have been so broken my entire life, I’m 37 with 3 children - one is Autistic and my husband has been a narcissist. I am co-dependent, I come from a home of chaos with 3 brothers and 2 alcoholic parents with many issues. You are wonderful and I want to thank you and tell you that I am so happy to have found you!
This issue with codependency is the subconscious mind. That’s why I create programs that include healing theta brainwave meditations, deep journaling exercises, and repeatable action steps people rely on to break those patterns. It’s repetition, consistency, a roadmap, and support that help you breakthrough!
Codependency exists at the subconscious level. The moment you are not actively breaking a faulty belief pattern the old thinking and behaviors come right back. This is the default mode network in operation. That’s why I created my online program with theta brainwave guided meditations. It also included deep journaling prompts, a roadmap, and practical day to day tools, systems and modalities you can use while breaking these subconscious patterns. www.lisaaromano.com/12-wbcp
Codependency exists at the subconscious level. The moment you are not actively breaking a faulty belief pattern the old thinking and behaviors come right back. This is the default mode network in operation. That’s why I created my online program with theta brainwave guided meditations. It also included deep journaling prompts, a roadmap, and practical day to day tools, systems and modalities you can use while breaking these subconscious patterns. www.lisaaromano.com/12-wbcp
Ditto. I’m 70 and it’s hard to change since it took me so long to learn this! I do everything for my adult kids and their children. I haven’t said NO to my daughter since she had my grand daughter 8 years ago. I thought I was doing the right and loving thing because my mother never did anything for us. 🙄
Thank you Lisa!! I FINALLY understand why I am codependent and why I am so controlling! Now comes the next step on my self-awareness and healing journey and it will be the icing on the cake! I can now taste FREEDOM in many forms! 🏋️♀️😘
Wow I had recreated what I was repeatedly without knowing why. I finally learned this year to value myself, create my own happiness and repell the arguments against me. I have set boundaries that my husband thought were harmful to him and selfish, so we separated in April. I have more friends than ever before, because I am free to be my genuine self. I rid myself of unhealthy polarized thinking that things were either good or bad, and I learned that good and bad things happen every day. I learned that I am strong and independence suits me. I learned it's okay to be completely honest with my therapist and working through a past lifetime of insecurity, helplessness and seeking someone else to fix my situation. I finally saw the hole in my wall and it was enormous. Now I can kindly say no, set boundaries and enjoy living my life.
Yay!! You've made tons of progress in a year!! I'm working toward healing myself but possibly at a slower pace. I know it's not a contest but I did want to congratulate you on doing so well.
@@lilydot5390 at 58 myself but I've decided that even though it's taking me (us) a lifetime to figure some things out -- I'm thankful that I'm learning them!! Good luck to you on continued progress!
My heart hurts and my spirit is tired 😢💔 I can't do this anymore! He thinks I'm stupid. He's lying to me to get me to continue being his narsassist supply 😔 Trust is gone! So disappointed with myself for going back all the time. Emotional neglect as a child. I am very codependent 😢 I have to break free. 6 years of this with him. 💔😢
Yes yes and yes. I realized I’m codependent and keep choosing unavailable people who mirror my parents energy towards me. I’m finally healing this aspect of myself so that I can have a healthy relationship with myself and another healthy person. Ty so much for these videos. They have really opened my eyes. ❤
Lisa, I have so many of the reasons that I am co dependant it was inevitable. I am learning so I dont pass it on to my children and stop doing it myself. I am learning to show myself grace. Thank you so much for this content.
Amen! This is my mission. To help moms like you break the generational patterns of codependency, a lack of self worth and a heart full of fear. You need to learn to believe you are enough and you also need to unlearn the coping strategies that keep you stuck. My 12 week breakthrough coaching program is for you. Enroll before prices go back to pre COVID pricing www.lisaaromano.com/12-wbcp
I've made great strides with my codependency in part because of your videos, but have slipped back into a weird void and am not sure how to get back out. I think I'm looking for a happy ending regarding the situation I had beenin. I miss my friend who is no longer in my life. I hate that he's out there so content to forget that existed, and I'm here, wishing he would just have a moment and think of me. I think it's just my brain that misses how safe and seen that I felt when we were in each other's lives. I need to start practicing what I learned before and try again because I'm sinking back into sadness and feeling stuck. It's a journey and I've got to keep moving. Thank you for this video.
Will you please address grandparent alienation? It seems that those of us who had abusive parents, but tried to do better for our children and ended up being hyper vigilant and having few boundaries are more likely to be cut off… resulting in extreme pain and loss at both ends of our lives.
You are so right. Abused adult children can also become too passive with their children. This trickles down into grandchildren relationships with children that may not respect you. Very painful indeed!
I just want to say hallo to you Lisa. My name is Renata, I listen to you from Poland. I wanted to let you know that your wisdom is a blessing for me. I had an alcoholic and abusive father and emotionally absent mother. I straggle with... well you know what I straggle with....What you say is sooo helpfull to me, thank you for that. Namaste.
I definitely understand what co-dependency is REALLY all about now….thank you Lisa, something about hearing you talk about it (from a real life experience) and describing it, makes it so much more understandable (for me) and REAL, than reading about it from a book… And knowing the terminology better, NOW, I can go back to the books and absorb them better.
It was modeled for me, by my parents. It finally makes sense after 15 years of trying to understand how I came to be this way. Thank you, maybe now I can finish your book, I kept picking it up and reading, but it didn't resonate so I put it back on the shelf. About 3 times. This time I will force myself to finish it. I like to read books quickly, but this one I may need to take my time with weekly chapters.
I used to help others to take my mind off of my problems. Both of my parents were narcissistic. I didn't care what they thought of me. I just did everything I could to survive. I'm happy in my life now because I gave my life to JESUS CHRIST & he gave me his joy & peace. Most times when ppl try to pull me out of my peace I give them a laugh & smile to let them know they're not bothering, but making me laugh. My parents were mean & abusive in I did everything not to upset them. I couldn't wait until the day I was out of there. After I left I went very little contact with my whole family & feel so free. There's nothing like having freedom to be yourself! Yeah!!!
I am new to your channel, and I love your practical approach to educate the collective. I have learned so much in the past 2-3 years on my own about these very things you talk about and listening to you clearly delineates and confirms the codependency behavior patterns that I had. I am happy to say that I'm healing and creating healthy thoughts and behaviors that honor me as a sovereign being. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and your personal journey!🙏💚
I recently discovered your videos after struggling with a massive fear of abandonment. And I’m really grateful to have found your videos because they are helping me understand more as to what is going on inside me and why I keep repeating the same behaviours in friendships/relationships, and why I always tend to run away/over compensating for others. It became apparent through getting sober, I had no idea that I suffered with these things so I’ve been going through my adult life unaware of any of these things and struggling to regulate my emotions, and not understanding my feelings and where they came from. I’m glad I am aware of it today and I guess feel lucky in a sense that today I recognise it and can now start doing something about it and working on myself in those areas that need that attention. I thought everything was okay until recently dating somebody and all this stuff has kinda magnified over the past 3/4 weeks, and I have really struggled to deal with it and open up about it to said person I’m dating whilst trying not to run away but be open about it with them.
Ok I have a question. Since we as a high narcissistic society people are exploring codependency in personal relationships I can't help but wonder " Do we become codependent in relationships with our doctors and other medical staff? It seems energetically empaths also attract detached narcissistic healthcare staff. Since many ppl are requiring more healthcare due to the pandemic, and the awareness of trauma in the body which may be causing the disease! My question is " what signs can you look for when choosing a doctor ?" As recovering codependents , how can one stand their ground with a narcissistic doctor? Sometimes due to insurance, network changes and etc , we are stuck dealing with high narcissistic behavior! Are there any phrases that can help , especially for those delaying with chronic illness and pain or depression! Sometimes the dismissiveness is enough to cause anxiety!
Great question. Find your core, find your essence and speak gently, assertively, and directly. Know your complaint. Speak it out with clarity. State your desire or realistic expectation. Know what is realistic. Once you know what your desire is, remain calm and state it. State your expectation clearly, eloquently. If there is pushback, you may ask, “what motivated you to become a healer?” This question should cause them to pause and self reflect.
💓Thank you Lisa 💕for creating ♥️this wonderful video and ❤️🔥 giving me some 💜tools to 💛change my life 💜. This definitely 💓sounds like my 💞life in many ♥️ways.
Hi Kati! Without tools, and repeatable steps, we all remain unaware we are unaware. Tools, roadmaps, relatable and actionable steps changes the entire world for those who were once unaware they were stuck in patterns and only trying to survive.
💯👏🏼 Jeeze, are you accepting apprentices? Haha. I wish I could work with you. You are amazing 😭 i could cry a whole lake from how grateful i am to have learned from you these past five years
Soul rising speech..literary mam u enlighten the root cause n explains it with such a clarity that can give pureness to ones soul rising or soul awakening process.thanks a lot mam.
This video is really striking so many chords for me. I have cPTSD, from childhood trauma, and was severely neglected as a child.. I'm seeing a therapist, and at times I feel overwhelmed at all the ways in which trauma has affected me. Now I realise I'm a co-dependent! I wondered if you would comment on something for me. I still live under the same roof with my ex-partner. Our relationship never worked out - yes, it was toxic. My ex-partner is on the autism spectrum, but I didn't know that in the beginning - it took a long time for me to work it out. I was horribly confused about her behaviour - distant, emotionally shut down, controlling, anf hyper critical of me. Do you have any experience/knowledge about how autistic people behave in intimate relationships? I often felt like I was going crazy.
What you say about adoptive parents is remarkably similar to what can sometimes happen to children who come from a broken home, for the children of divorce, where then one of the parent remarries and in essence replaces your family with another.
Dear Lisa, Thank you. How does one know they're experiencing a spiritual awakening? There's so much information to take in, couldn't it be a hindrance to awakening? ✨️
Thank you Lisa for all your shared knowledge. They have helped me understand so much that I didn't before. Do you have any new meditating videos. Thanks 😊
Its sad that my codependancy also stems from home life. I used to think too my "independance frm young age"..how i could already be an adult and do my own laundry was a skill and sign of "maturity"..now the reality is i'm so disconnected. All the more constant healing needs to be done. Healing with inner child, shadow work needs to be done. "What are my needs?" Alone is a heavy quest for me. Because i don't think i know..but maybe slowly learning
I see your books I just want to ask what is the difference between all those? I am confused between "road back to Me " vs "Its your programming codependent manifesto "
Being aware of all these things is important but it doesn’t change ones desires. Once one experiences the abuse in a relationship, maybe that will cure us? Or will it make it worse?
If you’re not aware, unless you change, you’re doomed to stay in the toxic pool which only worsens over time. If you awaken and begin to change your mindset, beliefs, and behaviors, yes you can change but that does not imply your relationship will make it.
The course I am bright me the light today Upon it is live and beauty Harmonic ballance and the power to slow down the earth... Everything slowed down I was in the now Gratefull
Lisa, would you consider updating the part about adopted folks? I was adopted through Catholic Community Charities, and they held the adoptees in hospital nurseries for months before releasing them to the adopted parents. I was in one for the first five months of my life. I think it creates something with rooting, needy and feeling unsafe at a nearly core level. So the actual adoption process may also directly affect people as the nurses, with rotating shifts, are the default interim first parents before going to the permanent parents.
Addressing the adoption issue: I think, even with well meaning healthy people doing the adoption, being adopted outside of one's race or country of origin could be problematic. For instance, I have often thought being black or Chinese living in a white family would be hard. Every time they looked in a mirror the knowledge of being different would be apparent. It certainly doesn't mean that all of these types of adoptions don't go well - probably most do, but it would take some very good parenting skills. Thoughts?
Mrs. Romono Day 2 As my recovery is under way I see this whole subject matter how it should be... I had my bell rung more then a few times. I'm not even a boxer... I'm going to rest on that... Maybe it is time to step into the light It's such a beatifull day We have a beatifull world
Lisa when u say codependent children didn't get their " needs " met. I think u're saying, codependent children didn't get " emotional needs " met. Right?
It could be emotional, physical, medical, psychological, and or spiritual needs met. Children have natural needs that should get met, in order for them to develop a brain that is wired for socialization, trust, and that relies on a healthy self concept 🙏
My mom was an overprotective parent, I was a little gay boy in the 60’s/70’s with kidney disease. My Mom wouldn’t let me do anything where I could possibly get hurt because I was so fragile
My mother showed up without telling me she was coming from a state away. Staying with my oldest son and his family. She has ignored me for months and calls to tell me she is here my cousin Susie drove her. My response was stay away from me. You were not respectful enough to answer me in months or tell me she was coming. I want nothing to do with her. And yes she turns my boys against me. I held my ground and I will call the cops like she's done on me 20 plus times. Told her I wanted and needed nothing from HER
Philosophy or stocism is which I meditate to... Now when I have a rock I reson it. Can I change it no then change the way you'll at it maybe let it go My lack comes from looming for others to help me or being comfortable second best Your word is your truth Your word can bring blessings Your word hopefully not Though gossip can be a negitive
I was totally dependent on my partner ! over the years she just took over ny Life. Especially the paperwork , the bank ,the bills ! I just wirked and brought home the money ! Thats all I was a Machine that made money ! She NEVER loved me and now I know what a narcissist is and it fits her to a tee ! I was so manipulated ! its embarrassing to say it ! If I had known about narcissism things might have been different?? and now ive lost everything ! my House possessions ! all gone ....
Hi Lisa, thanks for sharing this valuable information. However, I have problems with digesting all those information as you speak so fast and english is not my mother tounge. So request you if you can speak little bit slower and with a very calm and clear pronunciation, it will be a great help for people like me who are non english. Thanks
Yes exactly Our story What's the solution Stick with the winners Get a spinster Start a program Stay in the now Mind your own business Quite looking outside myself for valadation
The worst think about this issue is that when you try to seek answers, find solutions and enlighten dark fears what is going on in ambient time space of late 1990s and through 2000s, without you tube, you end up with CBT (which means 99% of self help books and official therapy) which actually continues the very same brainwashing - with CBT explaining that we are hallucinating issues, and that we are responsible, guilty and one to blame for feeling mysterious panic attacks and quickly spreading fears, deep toxic shame (feeling inept) and ongoing social anxiety. CBT explains it as delusion and bases "therapy" on self pathology and toxic shaming. CBT takes over the role of alcoholic parent and continues narcissistic abuse, nitpicking and criticizing your basic Self and Personality as something ugly, broken, different, weird, unacceptable and basically wrong by default. Even Mayo clinic in 2022 defines panic attack as imaginary issue, hallucination: "May 4, 2018 - A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions when there is no real danger or apparent cause." (Panic attacks and panic disorder - Symptoms and causes, mayoclinic official web site)
This segment really hits home! One thing I see in myself, even as an older adult, is how I'm in awe of confident people.
I am in awe of confident people as well 👍
Discovered along the way of life that it all starts with our “inward thinking” what are we thinking about ourselves 🤔
It’s important to focus in on anything positive we can see or think of, which can help bring us to a point of showing confidence as well….. important to truly believe that You Are Loved, and that happiness starts with making “choices” to become joy-filled :-)
You are worthy of such confidence. You are in awe of what you wish to experience yourself and you are worthy of such confidence. Don’t give up on yourself🙏
Yes cofedent and organized people are a mystery...im older myself
Thanks for your comment
Peace be with you
Yes 💯
@@lisaaromano1Grateful you adress lot of narcissistic abuse as well as toxic religious abuse. Not especially religious abuse in this one but unfortunately narcissistic abuse - emotional abandonment is root of manipulation of selfworth and everything of life of abundance Jesus came for; killed, robbed and stolen from the thief. The thief being the narcissistic gaslighting - how children is corrupted in narcissistic gaslighting with Jesus is very toxic and why do lot of people die inside church and marriage? Toxic interpretations of narcissistic abuse and agenda create deception and codependency , living hell on earth. Only truth, love and personal faith, boundaries set us free. .
Unless we become like children, heal inner child, Kenneth Lock talks about in inner child, Evolve church. Only place I heard about Spiritual and Biblical hypocrisy and actually Jesus tell people go back to childhood And heal inner child,bcs of broken attachment to love of unloving parents ..." And he said, I tell you the truth, unless you become like small children, you will never enter the Kingdom of heaven. Truly I say to you, unless you change and become like children you will not enter the Kingdom of heaven. Jesus ( Matt 18:3).
Grateful for your content, heart, awareness about heavy lies and issues. People bring sanity from dysfunctional home and trauma. To be able see that nothing was anything of God is undoing lot of the damage of toxic religious narcissistic gaslighting. Also Patrick Teahan, Jerry Wise, Michelle Farris , Terri Cole, Therapy in a nutshell/Emma McAdam provides lot of content on trauma etc ...Lot of problems in culture of not understand toxic religious abuse or narcissistic gaslighting - Lack of holistic perspectives: environmental context( family systems) complex trauma . Dr Leaf speaks about the cultures neglect of many perspectives in "Clean up your mental mess. Authenticity from Spiritual context is rare. Black pastors in Potters house Dallas focus on Evolve women a lot and break lot of church default : Td Jakes, Don Johnson and Sarah Jakes etc. But still lot of unconscious patterns of where narcissistic gaslighting taught selfishness corrupt beliefs and needs of connection to self- whats loss of selfworth is often narcissists stolen joy, trust : installed beliefs about shame and guilt mixed w moral = gaslighting of self w toxic religious trauma - Unconscious beliefs about wordsalad corrupt lunconditional love- attachment... faith / trust - to be healthy narcissistic, not afraid bcs of the narcissistic gaslighting weaponized faith against you. To love God w all heart, soul, mind - and others as yourself require a self to even be able to understand others and lot of in between reality of boundaries, responsibility, differences of peoples needs and experience. Its ahame and guilt from narcissistic gaslighting and parents manipulate ,neglect and corrupt teachings of love,that is at root. Its time society gets more trauma informed, context based, laws and cultural broad understanding of covert narcissistic gaslighting and lot of hidden misery in toxic religious abuse- church and marriage: prevent Girls, children , women and people of all kind end up in long term chronic abuse - cptds- codependency and emotional and Spiritual abuse. ❤️🩹🧘♀️🕊
You are an Amazing, intelligent, brave woman. I am finally learning about why I have been so broken my entire life, I’m 37 with 3 children - one is Autistic and my husband has been a narcissist. I am co-dependent, I come from a home of chaos with 3 brothers and 2 alcoholic parents with many issues. You are wonderful and I want to thank you and tell you that I am so happy to have found you!
Pure gold from Lisa as always. To be streamed in every household globally. Life saver and a life changer ♥️🙏
I need all of these videos 😭
I get strong then I fall back.
This issue with codependency is the subconscious mind. That’s why I create programs that include healing theta brainwave meditations, deep journaling exercises, and repeatable action steps people rely on to break those patterns. It’s repetition, consistency, a roadmap, and support that help you breakthrough!
Codependency exists at the subconscious level. The moment you are not actively breaking a faulty belief pattern the old thinking and behaviors come right back. This is the default mode network in operation. That’s why I created my online program with theta brainwave guided meditations. It also included deep journaling prompts, a roadmap, and practical day to day tools, systems and modalities you can use while breaking these subconscious patterns. www.lisaaromano.com/12-wbcp
Codependency exists at the subconscious level. The moment you are not actively breaking a faulty belief pattern the old thinking and behaviors come right back. This is the default mode network in operation. That’s why I created my online program with theta brainwave guided meditations. It also included deep journaling prompts, a roadmap, and practical day to day tools, systems and modalities you can use while breaking these subconscious patterns. www.lisaaromano.com/12-wbcp
This is so me ! i am age 64.. wow this Hit Home!!
Ditto. I’m 70 and it’s hard to change since it took me so long to learn this!
I do everything for my adult kids and their children. I haven’t said NO to my daughter since she had my grand daughter 8 years ago. I thought I was doing the right and loving thing because my mother never did anything for us. 🙄
@@christinalw19 same here.
Thank you Lisa!! I FINALLY understand why I am codependent and why I am so controlling! Now comes the next step on my self-awareness and healing journey and it will be the icing on the cake! I can now taste FREEDOM in many forms! 🏋️♀️😘
Good for you 👍
It is the miracle of self awareness! Now, be sure to find tools that keep you steady as you grow new neurons
How do we find tools? Would you recommend a book please?
Thank you for acknowledging the trauma of adoption and then being adopted into not the best of situations ❤
Yes, I hear you. I think this is a larger issue than many realize 🙏
I feel the same way as I was also adopted. I was adopted at the age of 3 years old.
Wow I had recreated what I was repeatedly without knowing why. I finally learned this year to value myself, create my own happiness and repell the arguments against me. I have set boundaries that my husband thought were harmful to him and selfish, so we separated in April. I have more friends than ever before, because I am free to be my genuine self. I rid myself of unhealthy polarized thinking that things were either good or bad, and I learned that good and bad things happen every day. I learned that I am strong and independence suits me. I learned it's okay to be completely honest with my therapist and working through a past lifetime of insecurity, helplessness and seeking someone else to fix my situation. I finally saw the hole in my wall and it was enormous. Now I can kindly say no, set boundaries and enjoy living my life.
Amazing Dear One!!!
Yay!! You've made tons of progress in a year!! I'm working toward healing myself but possibly at a slower pace. I know it's not a contest but I did want to congratulate you on doing so well.
@@psb12121 thank you friend. At 62,I feel like it took me a lifetime to get to these realizations
@@lilydot5390 at 58 myself but I've decided that even though it's taking me (us) a lifetime to figure some things out -- I'm thankful that I'm learning them!! Good luck to you on continued progress!
My heart hurts and my spirit is tired 😢💔 I can't do this anymore! He thinks I'm stupid. He's lying to me to get me to continue being his narsassist supply 😔 Trust is gone! So disappointed with myself for going back all the time. Emotional neglect as a child. I am very codependent 😢 I have to break free. 6 years of this with him. 💔😢
Yes yes and yes. I realized I’m codependent and keep choosing unavailable people who mirror my parents energy towards me. I’m finally healing this aspect of myself so that I can have a healthy relationship with myself and another healthy person. Ty so much for these videos. They have really opened my eyes. ❤
I needed to hear this bad! Being co-dependent by narcissist parents and my not realizing it has been a disaster for me.
Lisa, I have so many of the reasons that I am co dependant it was inevitable. I am learning so I dont pass it on to my children and stop doing it myself. I am learning to show myself grace. Thank you so much for this content.
Amen! This is my mission. To help moms like you break the generational patterns of codependency, a lack of self worth and a heart full of fear. You need to learn to believe you are enough and you also need to unlearn the coping strategies that keep you stuck. My 12 week breakthrough coaching program is for you. Enroll before prices go back to pre COVID pricing www.lisaaromano.com/12-wbcp
This explains so much about my personality & my childhood.I’m so glad videos like this exist.❤
I've made great strides with my codependency in part because of your videos, but have slipped back into a weird void and am not sure how to get back out. I think I'm looking for a happy ending regarding the situation I had beenin. I miss my friend who is no longer in my life. I hate that he's out there so content to forget that existed, and I'm here, wishing he would just have a moment and think of me. I think it's just my brain that misses how safe and seen that I felt when we were in each other's lives. I need to start practicing what I learned before and try again because I'm sinking back into sadness and feeling stuck. It's a journey and I've got to keep moving. Thank you for this video.
Will you please address grandparent alienation? It seems that those of us who had abusive parents, but tried to do better for our children and ended up being hyper vigilant and having few boundaries are more likely to be cut off… resulting in extreme pain and loss at both ends of our lives.
You are so right. Abused adult children can also become too passive with their children. This trickles down into grandchildren relationships with children that may not respect you. Very painful indeed!
I just want to say hallo to you Lisa. My name is Renata, I listen to you from Poland. I wanted to let you know that your wisdom is a blessing for me. I had an alcoholic and abusive father and emotionally absent mother. I straggle with... well you know what I straggle with....What you say is sooo helpfull to me, thank you for that. Namaste.
Thank you helpful to me .I was very co dependent as a child but I have grown so much and become myself continually.
I was an identical twin and was continually told I had to be just like my twin. I was her for many years
I definitely understand what co-dependency is REALLY all about now….thank you Lisa, something about hearing you talk about it (from a real life experience) and describing it, makes it so much more understandable (for me) and REAL, than reading about it from a book…
And knowing the terminology better, NOW, I can go back to the books and absorb them better.
It was modeled for me, by my parents. It finally makes sense after 15 years of trying to understand how I came to be this way. Thank you, maybe now I can finish your book, I kept picking it up and reading, but it didn't resonate so I put it back on the shelf. About 3 times. This time I will force myself to finish it. I like to read books quickly, but this one I may need to take my time with weekly chapters.
Thank you Lisa for all your help ❤️ and wisdom.
My honor🙏
Thank you, I really needed to hear this!!
You are enough!
Thank you for your ALWAYS wonderful guidance and insight! ❤
Self awareness and acting and being more independent is a great way to start working on codependent traits.
Lisa, you are brilliant and I hope you realize how much you help people. Bless you🥰
I used to help others to take my mind off of my problems. Both of my parents were narcissistic. I didn't care what they thought of me. I just did everything I could to survive. I'm happy in my life now because I gave my life to JESUS CHRIST & he gave me his joy & peace. Most times when ppl try to pull me out of my peace I give them a laugh & smile to let them know they're not bothering, but making me laugh. My parents were mean & abusive in I did everything not to upset them. I couldn't wait until the day I was out of there. After I left I went very little contact with my whole family & feel so free. There's nothing like having freedom to be yourself! Yeah!!!
I am new to your channel, and I love your practical approach to educate the collective. I have learned so much in the past 2-3 years on my own about these very things you talk about and listening to you clearly delineates and confirms the codependency behavior patterns that I had. I am happy to say that I'm healing and creating healthy thoughts and behaviors that honor me as a sovereign being. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and your personal journey!🙏💚
I recently discovered your videos after struggling with a massive fear of abandonment. And I’m really grateful to have found your videos because they are helping me understand more as to what is going on inside me and why I keep repeating the same behaviours in friendships/relationships, and why I always tend to run away/over compensating for others. It became apparent through getting sober, I had no idea that I suffered with these things so I’ve been going through my adult life unaware of any of these things and struggling to regulate my emotions, and not understanding my feelings and where they came from. I’m glad I am aware of it today and I guess feel lucky in a sense that today I recognise it and can now start doing something about it and working on myself in those areas that need that attention. I thought everything was okay until recently dating somebody and all this stuff has kinda magnified over the past 3/4 weeks, and I have really struggled to deal with it and open up about it to said person I’m dating whilst trying not to run away but be open about it with them.
I both sacrificed and suppressed my own wants and needs to help others
Your word parents with addiction was so right on and validating. You’re always incredibly helpful.
Good thoughts to ponder 👍
Thank You 🤗
Great to hear! O
Ok I have a question. Since we as a high narcissistic society people are exploring codependency in personal relationships I can't help but wonder " Do we become codependent in relationships with our doctors and other medical staff? It seems energetically empaths also attract detached narcissistic healthcare staff. Since many ppl are requiring more healthcare due to the pandemic, and the awareness of trauma in the body which may be causing the disease! My question is " what signs can you look for when choosing a doctor ?" As recovering codependents , how can one stand their ground with a narcissistic doctor? Sometimes due to insurance, network changes and etc , we are stuck dealing with high narcissistic behavior! Are there any phrases that can help , especially for those delaying with chronic illness and pain or depression! Sometimes the dismissiveness is enough to cause anxiety!
Omg ur right. I have a narcissistic doctor and nurse and that’s y I barely want to go.
Great question. Find your core, find your essence and speak gently, assertively, and directly. Know your complaint. Speak it out with clarity. State your desire or realistic expectation. Know what is realistic.
Once you know what your desire is, remain calm and state it. State your expectation clearly, eloquently. If there is pushback, you may ask, “what motivated you to become a healer?”
This question should cause them to pause and self reflect.
Thank you for this video, Lisa. It hit home for me in that this was the relationship or lack there of between my mother and I.
💓Thank you Lisa 💕for creating ♥️this wonderful video and ❤️🔥 giving me some 💜tools to 💛change my life 💜. This definitely 💓sounds like my 💞life in many ♥️ways.
Hi Kati! Without tools, and repeatable steps, we all remain unaware we are unaware. Tools, roadmaps, relatable and actionable steps changes the entire world for those who were once unaware they were stuck in patterns and only trying to survive.
💯👏🏼 Jeeze, are you accepting apprentices? Haha. I wish I could work with you. You are amazing 😭 i could cry a whole lake from how grateful i am to have learned from you these past five years
I put my self last nd put other first
Soul rising speech..literary mam u enlighten the root cause n explains it with such a clarity that can give pureness to ones soul rising or soul awakening process.thanks a lot mam.
Wow, this is a very good explanation.
This video is really striking so many chords for me. I have cPTSD, from childhood trauma, and was severely neglected as a child.. I'm seeing a therapist, and at times I feel overwhelmed at all the ways in which trauma has affected me. Now I realise I'm a co-dependent!
I wondered if you would comment on something for me. I still live under the same roof with my ex-partner. Our relationship never worked out - yes, it was toxic. My ex-partner is on the autism spectrum, but I didn't know that in the beginning - it took a long time for me to work it out. I was horribly confused about her behaviour - distant, emotionally shut down, controlling, anf hyper critical of me. Do you have any experience/knowledge about how autistic people behave in intimate relationships? I often felt like I was going crazy.
What you say about adoptive parents is remarkably similar to what can sometimes happen to children who come from a broken home, for the children of divorce, where then one of the parent remarries and in essence replaces your family with another.
You are an amazing woman! ⚘
Thank you. 🙏
Dear Lisa, Thank you. How does one know they're experiencing a spiritual awakening? There's so much information to take in, couldn't it be a hindrance to awakening? ✨️
Thank you Lisa for all your shared knowledge. They have helped me understand so much that I didn't before. Do you have any new meditating videos. Thanks 😊
Very insightful, thank you so much . Well explained.
Yep! I’m definitely not co dependent ❤
Can’t thank you enough 🙏🏻
Its sad that my codependancy also stems from home life. I used to think too my "independance frm young age"..how i could already be an adult and do my own laundry was a skill and sign of "maturity"..now the reality is i'm so disconnected. All the more constant healing needs to be done. Healing with inner child, shadow work needs to be done. "What are my needs?" Alone is a heavy quest for me. Because i don't think i know..but maybe slowly learning
You have helped me so much!!! Thank you!!!!
Another great video Lisa.
Yes, this was helpful. Thank you.
This is me nd my kids we are soo messed up nd I was the over protective of my kids nd now were all messed up
I see your books I just want to ask what is the difference between all those? I am confused between "road back to Me " vs "Its your programming codependent manifesto "
Being aware of all these things is important but it doesn’t change ones desires. Once one experiences the abuse in a relationship, maybe that will cure us? Or will it make it worse?
If you’re not aware, unless you change, you’re doomed to stay in the toxic pool which only worsens over time. If you awaken and begin to change your mindset, beliefs, and behaviors, yes you can change but that does not imply your relationship will make it.
The course
I am bright me the light today
Upon it is live and beauty
Harmonic ballance and the power to slow down the earth...
Everything slowed down
I was in the now
Gratefull
We’ll said. I’ve not heard a more to the point, on target, definition.
Can men be co-dependant too?
Lisa, would you consider updating the part about adopted folks? I was adopted through Catholic Community Charities, and they held the adoptees in hospital nurseries for months before releasing them to the adopted parents. I was in one for the first five months of my life. I think it creates something with rooting, needy and feeling unsafe at a nearly core level. So the actual adoption process may also directly affect people as the nurses, with rotating shifts, are the default interim first parents before going to the permanent parents.
❤❤❤
LOVE ur shirt!!
Is it possible for a codependent to heal with in a relationship with a borderline.
Addressing the adoption issue: I think, even with well meaning healthy people doing the adoption, being adopted outside of one's race or country of origin could be problematic. For instance, I have often thought being black or Chinese living in a white family would be hard. Every time they looked in a mirror the knowledge of being different would be apparent. It certainly doesn't mean that all of these types of adoptions don't go well - probably most do, but it would take some very good parenting skills. Thoughts?
I'm needing a link to help someone with a narcissistic roommate. Can anyone give me a real good link? Have a wonderful 😊 day
Mrs. Romono
Day 2
As my recovery is under way
I see this whole subject matter how it should be...
I had my bell rung more then a few times. I'm not even a boxer...
I'm going to rest on that...
Maybe it is time to step into the light
It's such a beatifull day
We have a beatifull world
Lisa when u say codependent children didn't get their " needs " met. I think u're saying, codependent children didn't get " emotional needs " met. Right?
It could be emotional, physical, medical, psychological, and or spiritual needs met. Children have natural needs that should get met, in order for them to develop a brain that is wired for socialization, trust, and that relies on a healthy self concept 🙏
@@lisaaromano1 thank u. 😊
My mom was an overprotective parent, I was a little gay boy in the 60’s/70’s with kidney disease. My Mom wouldn’t let me do anything where I could possibly get hurt because I was so fragile
My mother showed up without telling me she was coming from a state away. Staying with my oldest son and his family. She has ignored me for months and calls to tell me she is here my cousin Susie drove her. My response was stay away from me. You were not respectful enough to answer me in months or tell me she was coming. I want nothing to do with her. And yes she turns my boys against me. I held my ground and I will call the cops like she's done on me 20 plus times. Told her I wanted and needed nothing from HER
Philosophy or stocism is which I meditate to...
Now when I have a rock I reson it.
Can I change it no then change the way you'll at it maybe let it go
My lack comes from looming for others to help me or being comfortable second best
Your word is your truth
Your word can bring blessings
Your word hopefully not
Though gossip can be a negitive
I want to keep the please in denial is because I have things to do and if someone is my opponent
I change like undersog
❤
💕🙏🌞
💓💓✌👍👏😇😉
Can't win 4 loosin......I was over protective......
I was totally dependent on my partner !
over the years she just took over ny Life.
Especially the paperwork , the bank ,the bills !
I just wirked and brought home the money !
Thats all I was a Machine that made money !
She NEVER loved me and now I know what a narcissist is and it fits her to a tee !
I was so manipulated !
its embarrassing
to say it !
If I had known about narcissism
things might have been different??
and now ive lost everything !
my House possessions !
all gone ....
💔😭💔😭
Hi Lisa, thanks for sharing this valuable information. However, I have problems with digesting all those information as you speak so fast and english is not my mother tounge. So request you if you can speak little bit slower and with a very calm and clear pronunciation, it will be a great help for people like me who are non english. Thanks
I’m listening to this and am wondering it’s all someone else’s fault?
I cried to wizard of oz when we moved....i was displaced
Lost of self hood
Yes exactly
Our story
What's the solution
Stick with the winners
Get a spinster
Start a program
Stay in the now
Mind your own business
Quite looking outside myself for valadation
I don't know who I as m anymore I was in in an Orphanage. BULLSHIT.
NO THANK YOU.
$900 for your program?!? Seriously WTF??
Not their fkn political tool
Now what
I need to mind my own business...
Thank you dear Lisa.
The worst think about this issue is that when you try to seek answers, find solutions and enlighten dark fears what is going on in ambient time space of late 1990s and through 2000s, without you tube, you end up with CBT (which means 99% of self help books and official therapy) which actually continues the very same brainwashing - with CBT explaining that we are hallucinating issues, and that we are responsible, guilty and one to blame for feeling mysterious panic attacks and quickly spreading fears, deep toxic shame (feeling inept) and ongoing social anxiety. CBT explains it as delusion and bases "therapy" on self pathology and toxic shaming. CBT takes over the role of alcoholic parent and continues narcissistic abuse, nitpicking and criticizing your basic Self and Personality as something ugly, broken, different, weird, unacceptable and basically wrong by default.
Even Mayo clinic in 2022 defines panic attack as imaginary issue, hallucination:
"May 4, 2018 - A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions when there is no real danger or apparent cause." (Panic attacks and panic disorder - Symptoms and causes, mayoclinic official web site)
Nice