@@shiningstar7793 having a child/ children isn’t an excuse to tolerate a bad relationship. Children NEED to see both parents thriving whether they are together or apart and are being co parented. You do more harm then good to your children by faking it just to keep the illusion of a happy home ❤
My biggest flex is disappearing from people that don’t do me right. I literally disappear like you never knew I even existed. I have to make you feel what life is like without me if you couldn’t appreciate me in your life. My friends don’t know how I do it, all I know is I was not out here to be treated badly and it’s up to me how I let people treat me.
That is me. I have the ability to walk away no matter how deep I feel for you. Once the relationship no longer gives me peace then that's my cue to exit.
That’s sounds just like Lori Harvey. She dips quick as hell when she feels like the relationship no longer serves her. Please teach me y’all ways lbvs.*😩@@tyali84
If he lets you walk away for too long, the only lesson there is he’s teaching you to learn to live without him. He can *think* about you all he wants, miss you, etc. But if his ego is bigger than his love for you, stay gone and move on. A man who really loves you will be hurting in your absence and won’t take the chance that you’ll meet someone else-he’ll move mountains to keep you!
"But if his ego is bigger than his love for you..." PREACH! And 99.9% of the time it's going to be an "L" for you. Even if true love is more powerful than a man's ego he's probably not brave enough to let love win. It's so sad.
Depends on if it’s a narc or not. Most narcs devalue first then discard second forcing victims to leave. Next there’s a cool down period which begins the re-idealization phase. Once they’ve essentially rebuilt you up to an ideal target in their brains, they’ll hoover and attempt to re-victimize the target of their romantic interest.
I walked away a week ago with my head held high. Caring young man, claim to be single, live by self with job and car. I’ve been involved with him for 8 years off and on. I’ve been honest and truthful and for most part faithful to a Friend with no benefits. Yes I have my own place, car and my three children The more I stay around to see if things would change or he would accept me. The more I realized He doesn’t deserve a commitment with me. Whatever we had would never be what I want which is a relationship… So I told him how I felt and I’m done.. He had No response and Im proud of myself because I know I deserve my own man a whole one not a piece.. Will miss sex but that’s not everything.. Left with my pride❤
Amen because most my realationship it's was me that ended it they wanted to return but that's no for me maybe they will be better for the next woman because it's definitely wasn't me I'm ok with it because God has the right one for me at right time I'm keep on waiting because I know it's going happen when I least expect it
It's not necessarily the people with low self-esteem that they go for all the time. They go for people they think they can gain from in general. This includes: people with high standards, people with money, people in a position of power and status, got a career etc. That's like the biggest powerhouse ego boost for them to breakdown that type of top notch grade A "supply". Until they mess around one day and find out about taking that "Super Empath" over the edge of no return, spiritually battling the narcissist dealing those blows!
Yes and it’s best not to go back to them because they will start right back treating you horribly. The one I was with was extremely verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive, tormenting and devaluing me on a daily. Of course he’s tried several times to get me back and I have no interest.
When you know the worth you’ve brought into someone else’s life, it’s easy to walk away knowing they can’t really replace you. Let them see how life is without you.
That's not true, was n that, had to let go again, nothing had changed, an it hurted but I love me an want better!!!! Sum dudes will have u looking like a fool an will drain u if u allow it
One thing I realized is to not waste a whole lot of time. If a man truly loves you he will give you space but not for long and when you do have time apart he does realize the value you bring into his life. If he goes more than a day or two without calling he doesn’t love you. If he doesn’t miss your presence your not the one. I learned to test the relationship and easily move on without the heartbreak. If his heart isn’t broken yours shouldn’t break either.
I walked away February 26 2023. Got tired of being an option 😪 for 2 years. No sex but good Friends and he started promising things and didn't deliver. I had to let go of the fake promising and walked away no contact is so hard I started a friendship with someone else and stopped throwing men away waiting on him.
Omg! I went thru the same thing! Thats crazy! Lesson learned! He definitely selectively started making all of these promises, as soon as I said "im exiting stage" left! Smdh 🤦♀️🤦♀️
Technically, no. It’s loving something or someone more than you love God that’s called idolatry, but if you love a man more than yourself, you’ll typically have the kind of pathology to walk in idolatry.
I learned a great lesson after a 24 year marriage to a narcissist - to thine own self be true FIRST! As lessons tend to do -they come back around one more time to see if you got it. I dated a “lovely” gentleman for 14 months. I didn’t see any red flags. I looked and looked and looked. After 14 months though I started hearing red flags 🚩 “you didn’t do this”, “you do this”, “you did that like that”, “you, you, you…!! I knew what was coming next!! I knew it was just going to get worse. I bid him adieu on the second time I shed a tear. 😢 I have not looked back! I have not called. I have not made any attempt to contact. I do wish him the best & if I ain’t it - I’m GOOD with that! I am not willing to sacrifice myself for ANYONE else EVER again. 😊 I cannot tell you how empowering it felt to walk away! 💪🏻 No fighting. No arguing. Just Bye! I choose me!❤
@@tiffbrown3782 It gets better! At first, I thought I was going to die. Didn’t realize I had already been dead (to myself) for years! Some days were good - then I’d slip back, then, get better. It kept going like that for awhile. One day I realized - the better got better incrementally, and the sad got lesser as I got better. It’s progressively better & you’ll not make the same mistakes next time. Old saying; “once bitten, twice shy” Best wishes to you on your journey!
And believe by doing this God will send you the man of your dreams. He did for me and even tho I the beginning I had to show him that I'm willing to walk away. I know that he's the one and he shows up
I am literally going through a relationship with a man who loves to argue over every single thing that does not please him.Even if I pay a bill and I am too slow because of my health he gets angry at me cause I am slow he says.Then one day he became angry at me because I could not decide easily what I wanted to eat at a eatery.Even if I asked him sometimes where he is or what he is doing it came over to him as if I did not trust him.i am drained from all these arguments with him.He has all the traits of a narc cause he never points a finger on himself but always blames me.Everything is about him ,how he looks,his image and all.I am tired.But my problem is I love him and he knows this.I am not ready to let go but tit will be good for me.He uses me for his own ego.
@@pearlseashell You didn’t say if you’re married but either way he has no regard concerning your health and you can’t be restored health wise bc he’s a bully. He is tearing you down and you know it. Please protect your health, your in an unsafe environment.
Don’t feel guilty about walking away ever. A good relationship is two people with healthy boundaries and clear intentions. Anyone who plays games in a relationship deserves to be alone
So true. My husband, then my boyfriend, said to me after I walked away, that he experienced life w/o me and never wanted to feel that again and GOT IT TF TOGETHER!! BUT GOD!! But LET'S BE CLEAR, HE ALSO UNDERSTANDS THAT IF I NEED TO WALK AWAY ONCE MORE, THERE'S NO MORE CHANCES! He KNOWS THAT US GETTING TO THE POINT OF MARRIAGE was a miracle IN ITSELF that he won't take for granted!! Loving YOU FIRST/MORE LADIES, GENTS, IS NOT OPTIONAL!!
“Willingly” is the keyword. We’re not trying to force an outcome. If that person never comes back that is fine because there is a healthier match to where we now are in our lives.
I thought that was the way to go I also tried to conform to the Bible :( but the Bible never said to love them more he said to love your neighbor as you love yourself. I'm an idiot. He introduced a Bible to me..as in I started getting to the Bible we bonded over it he treated me like the scum of the Earth...after he used me he said I have no value to him before he wanted to marry me
When you walk away u either attract better or the person who wasn't enough for you works on themself and comes back as someone more committed and ready for a relationship When a woman walks away we show our worth and that's very attractive. We can't expect to attract and keep love if we don't love ourselves first. Also if we were are waiting around wasting time on wrong people were stopping the right person from coming in
Facts!! I used to think it was a super power to love him more than I loved myself 🤦♀️ had to walk away and learn to love me!! Best thing I ever did for me!!
You're right. I actually had to release my child from taking over my energy and draining me. Of course, no love lost, just boundaries set to make sure we stay spiritually healthy.
@@charniecearielle That's what a narcissist would say 😂. On a more serious note, what did you heal from? I think discipline and other less glamorous things can also be love.
Always have non-negotiables: State the clearly at the beginning. Hold the cookie. Health check after 3, 6 months. U will see if words and actions align by then. Date multiple. Don't give it up till he shows real commitment. Be quick to walk away swiftly once the mask falls off. Self❤
My grandfather told my mom (her father) that it is dangerous to love a man more than you love yourself. As I got older and witnessed some things growing up. I understood the message.
If you think you can find better for YOU … have at it !!!! Forreal but me losing myself for you can NEVER be an option!… not one man on this earth is worth me losing myself !
This is me. I walked away and everything I wanted him to do when we were together, he is committing to now. But it’s too late. To much time of 5years of waiting and waiting for his commitment for marriage.😢
Ladies, what he is saying is straight up Truth. I had to do it, it hurt like I can’t even humanly explain, but ….I had to Love Myself More than him….and I am better in my essence of being a woman for it. Blessings 🌸
Sometimes you have no choice but to walk away. My life is precious, don’t waste my time. My heart is valuable, don’t abuse it. If you love me then show me. A sincere man will not only tell you how he missed you, he will show you it as well. It is really simple. Actions speak louder than words. Really just had this conversation.
Some husbands wouldn't even care and go with another women than admit they have a good women and don't want to lose her. Just keep picking up new ones and dropping them. Not learning anything
Amen you not by yourself because I was in marriage fourteen years I knew that should been left because the mentally and physically abuse as well but I stay for wrong reasons my children's but if hadn't for them I wouldn't been left but I finally left in 1997 I thank God he gave me the strength and wisdom walk away never returned but I'm so much more better mentally emotionally spiritually physically I'm not going ever settle again
This is so real. This comment is for the person on the fence and afraid to walk away: I just walked away about 2-3 weeks ago. He hasn’t said a word… and I am coming ALIVE! Every day that he stays silent and does nothing is a day that I learn that I can live a beautiful life without him. Doors are opening for me and I am doing the work to ensure that I remain open to love a man who is ready to love and be loved. What’s greater is I am open to ALL forms of love, inside and out, and I am growing stronger and more beautiful than ever. You can do this. The grass can be greener on the other side because you can take care of it. Don’t wait around for them to get it. It’s time for you to get it and give yourself the love you deserve.❤
I'm doing it now and it's almost 2 months till now. Not gonna lie, somewhere deep down inside my heart is still scared and afraid of losing them but it is what it is. I have to make the hardest decision: choosing myself over them, putting myself first before them because they chose to leave me first. I'm scared of the unknown but I have no option now. I will put my trust and faith in God. I believe he has a plan for me even though I see no light at the end of the tunnel. Just trying my best to push through and keep every part of myself from falling apart. It's hard. Just hard.
Exactly! 7 days without her is not “experiencing a life without her”. It was a week break. When I pack my shit I don’t look back. My ex texted my completely NEW number talmbout can we talk. *blocked*
Loving myself was Never the issue! Let me be clear! His underline insecurity and manipulation and narcissistic personality was the problem. He thought I was never gonna walk away.
In reality, this is beautiful. You can only walk away once you start to realise your own value, singularly, and within a relationship, and your peace of mind, your acceptance of what treatment of self you'll accept, and your spiritual truth... Well said!!!
I walked away from my relationship of 8 years he had to much ego and pride and never wanted to communicate he was dismissive of everything and always his way are the high way he would go silent and yell at me when ever I brought up my feelings he also stayed gone for weeks after a argument with no communication. I’m putting god first and focusing on myself.
When you walk away from bread-crumbing, you have to be prepared to REALLY walk away and move on. When you get to that point, you are truly free and healed.
Now you know when a man cannot live without his woman.. BOY…Coach you couldn’t even last 2weeks.. Your heart and soul must have been on ❤️🔥🔥🔥🔥. The mental anguish 😩was 😭😭😰🥶😖😱too much to bear.. 😃
I had to do this as well. I loved my ex SO MUCH that I would have done almost ANYTHING to keep him. The mere THOUGHT of losing him would make me sick to my stomach. I was depressed…gained weight…cried all of the time, paid bills on my own, took care of 2 kids on my own all while working a full-time job and trying to be there for everybody except MYSELF. But after 26 YEARS (dated for 7 years, married for 19 years), I realized that not only were his toxic behaviors not going to stop, but they were getting worse. I had been through enough of his chronic CHEATING…LIES…NEGLECT…MANIPULATION. And after nearly having a nervous breakdown, I FINALLY “shook” myself and did one of the HARDEST things that I’ve ever had to do in my life…I divorced him. I realized that yeah, I loved him…but I loved MYSELF more. And the ONLY way that I was going to continue to LIVE…was to let him go. REAL talk.
I did. I kept letting him hurt me not to justify I really loved him it hurts still I walked away broken 💔. And I got the opportunity to tell him he broke my heart and he acted as if I was the reason his a fucked up person
I've done this, and it does work. When I existed for him, I had to walk away. I couldn't keep doing what was best for him and not for myself. It's not worth it.
I just walked away today for who knows how many times and my oldest son showed up to help me revamp my entire apartment to get rid of all the old "memories" so I can move forward and start making new memories of love and happiness for MYSELF for ONCE!!
I walked away 2 months ago and it’s the best thing I did. I still think about him, but my life is a lot better. I’m in church, I’m focused on work, friends, family and I’ve been getting in better physical shape and I can feel spiritually he is somewhere crying 😭 with that bald 👨🏾🦲 head. I will never ever love a man more than I love myself.
This is a great video thank you sir. He walked away because he wanted to be for the streets while I’m working on my business plan. He texted me recently I didn’t even reply. I’m just gonna have to be the one that got away or he pushed me away. I wish him the best but honestly I feel so good and less burdened. Peace & blessings guys ❤😊
I loved my husband more than I loved myself. I have now sworn off of relationships because I refuse to love someone that much unless he loves me just as much as he loves himself.
Hi edagdwg living your own life is soooooo real enjoying your life can't let other people try to make you feel this is what I want you to be move on you can never place her pay attention to what you want for yourself in your life god is always around stay strong and true to yourself Linda j. Peace
I walked away. 2 months after my ex texted me but he didn't say he wanted to talk, he didn't say what he was going to do to change ar anything accountable, he only wanted to blame me and hurt me by letting me know he wa already taking a trip to México and looking for someone else to sleep with because that's what he does (i met him like that aka passport bro). That's when i truly knew he never cared about me or loved me.
Its not possible to love another person more then yourself. Its about what she is (subconciously) getting out of the situation that makes a woman stay.
Yup! That was the former me. Way too accommodating, sacrificing my own peace and sanity in an attempt to keep, above water, a relationship that was bound to sink! A woman (or man) can't be the only one paddling in the canoe!!! I've learned that now and am too through to go through that again! I am now wiser, stronger, and i puts up w/ bs no longer!!! Come correct or get left!!! PERIOD!!! ✔️💯 Keep speak the truth bro.! 🙏 Mant ladies and men ladies appreciate it! 💝💯😎
I refuse to love a man more than I love my self, my happiness is to essential for me to thrive, especially when a lot of men think they are settling for you, and they want a slave not a real partner
This is what I have been working on, loving myself just a little bit more than I love him. I thought I already loved myself and my life. I even posted several times on social media that I loved my life and I wouldn’t trade places with anyone. Then the universe came along and said, “You don’t love yourself enough. I know you’re an atheist and you supposedly have free will but, the man of your dreams is banished from your life until you go along with this spiritual awakening you don’t remember signing up for before you were incarcerated.”
Authentic love puts one at great risk for being exploited because love is sacrifice. You do love them more than you love yourself. People will abuse it.
Spot on, you Have to walk away so he doesn't get complacent and love yourself more! Women have to look after their own hearts. He will either be back or he wont. In which case , you will move on. I walked away from a 23yr marriage and he would have me back in an instant as he realis ed ( too late) that I was the love of his life Too late for me. I found My love of my life after him ❤ e
i learned how to walk away from anyone i did not feel like had my best interest at heart. i learned this in elementary school from girls. so boys were easy too.
This is a true statement. I just told my ex that a few weeks ago. I loved him more than I loved myself. Being in a relationship with him was draining. I had to walk away from the drama. It's been hard financially , but I will be ok. I would rather be single lonely than in a relationship lonely.. Ladies, you must reclaim your crown 👑 & peace of mind...
Wow that's something else you don't hear about to many men's that walk away from realationships but you definitely know most woman's do either way if with someone that's more of hindering to you than a blessing then need call it's quits
When you walk away, be ready to walk away and never return.
Right. Don't do it with the intention of THIS happening. That time may make him realize he truly was just wasting your time.
can't when you have a child with them
@@shiningstar7793U know what she meant
@@shiningstar7793 having a child/ children isn’t an excuse to tolerate a bad relationship. Children NEED to see both parents thriving whether they are together or apart and are being co parented. You do more harm then good to your children by faking it just to keep the illusion of a happy home ❤
@@charniecearielle yes very true. Thanks for the confirmation 👍 which is so helpful.
My biggest flex is disappearing from people that don’t do me right. I literally disappear like you never knew I even existed. I have to make you feel what life is like without me if you couldn’t appreciate me in your life. My friends don’t know how I do it, all I know is I was not out here to be treated badly and it’s up to me how I let people treat me.
definitely
@@rarediamond901 😘
That is me. I have the ability to walk away no matter how deep I feel for you. Once the relationship no longer gives me peace then that's my cue to exit.
That’s sounds just like Lori Harvey. She dips quick as hell when she feels like the relationship no longer serves her. Please teach me y’all ways lbvs.*😩@@tyali84
Exactly!!! We Are Not Born To Be Mistreated and Undervalued
Standards 101: “You must be willing to lose a man in order to keep a man”🙏🏾💯❗️
If he lets you walk away for too long, the only lesson there is he’s teaching you to learn to live without him. He can *think* about you all he wants, miss you, etc. But if his ego is bigger than his love for you, stay gone and move on. A man who really loves you will be hurting in your absence and won’t take the chance that you’ll meet someone else-he’ll move mountains to keep you!
Right
That part ☝️
😫😫😫💔💔
I agree.
"But if his ego is bigger than his love for you..." PREACH!
And 99.9% of the time it's going to be an "L" for you. Even if true love is more powerful than a man's ego he's probably not brave enough to let love win. It's so sad.
I walked away from him 11 years ago, and now I've been happily married for 8.5 years!🥰😍🤩
YOU are definitely, one of the lucky ones.
Blessing's to
You.
your hubby didnt play 😂 put a ring on it QUICK!
Amen that's awesome because you can't get right one if not willing let go of the wrong one because he hindering you for the one God has for you
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Congratulations 🎊🎉🍾🎈 😊
If you walk away from them and they don't come after you or try to change things then you are never that important to them
That really doesn't matter. What does matter is you are important to you.
Depends on if it’s a narc or not. Most narcs devalue first then discard second forcing victims to leave. Next there’s a cool down period which begins the re-idealization phase. Once they’ve essentially rebuilt you up to an ideal target in their brains, they’ll hoover and attempt to re-victimize the target of their romantic interest.
Facts
I did….. I walked away… march 8 , 2022 would be a year no contact and celibacy
I am walking away today..i loved him more than myself. I hope i am able to stay in no contact
I walked away too and am realizing that he will never see me! He'll never come back, I just have to accept that there is something or someone better!!
@@liveinthenow3571 it's heartbreaking! You give your every possible effort. And at the end you've to forget everything and move forward
I walked away a week ago with my head held high.
Caring young man, claim to be single, live by self with job and car.
I’ve been involved with him for 8 years off and on.
I’ve been honest and truthful and for most part faithful to a Friend with no benefits.
Yes I have my own place, car and my three children
The more I stay around to see if things would change or he would accept me.
The more I realized He doesn’t deserve a commitment with me. Whatever we had would never be what I want which is a relationship…
So I told him how I felt and I’m done..
He had No response and Im proud of myself because I know I deserve my own man a whole one not a piece..
Will miss sex but that’s not everything..
Left with my pride❤
Congratulations Queen 👑💓👏🏾
A woman’s super power… Walk away ability. Facts
FACTS 😊
+Femininity.
Amen because most my realationship it's was me that ended it they wanted to return but that's no for me maybe they will be better for the next woman because it's definitely wasn't me I'm ok with it because God has the right one for me at right time I'm keep on waiting because I know it's going happen when I least expect it
And 90 percent of woman dont have that superpower at all
This is the type of person narcissist sniff for, a woman who does not love herself. Loving yourself is a form of safety and protection.
Predators
💯💯💯💯💯
It's not necessarily the people with low self-esteem that they go for all the time. They go for people they think they can gain from in general. This includes: people with high standards, people with money, people in a position of power and status, got a career etc. That's like the biggest powerhouse ego boost for them to breakdown that type of top notch grade A "supply". Until they mess around one day and find out about taking that "Super Empath" over the edge of no return, spiritually battling the narcissist dealing those blows!
Yes and it’s best not to go back to them because they will start right back treating you horribly. The one I was with was extremely verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive, tormenting and devaluing me on a daily. Of course he’s tried several times to get me back and I have no interest.
Yup I just talked about this on my yt channel. You have to love yourself more than you love anything that’s one thing I’ve learned
When you know the worth you’ve brought into someone else’s life, it’s easy to walk away knowing they can’t really replace you. Let them see how life is without you.
The separation was necessary 🙏 if it comes back you'll know he's yours, that's a beautiful thing!! 🙏🌹🌹🌹
So true!
Not necessarily, narcissist always come back, ijs
That's not true, was n that, had to let go again, nothing had changed, an it hurted but I love me an want better!!!! Sum dudes will have u looking like a fool an will drain u if u allow it
Nope Narcissist don't like rejection and will actually plan their way back, but they will be the same person soon as they feel safe
If he comes back, nobody else wanted him. Let him go for good!
One thing I realized is to not waste a whole lot of time. If a man truly loves you he will give you space but not for long and when you do have time apart he does realize the value you bring into his life. If he goes more than a day or two without calling he doesn’t love you. If he doesn’t miss your presence your not the one. I learned to test the relationship and easily move on without the heartbreak. If his heart isn’t broken yours shouldn’t break either.
A rolling stone gathers no moss. In order to make a genuine connection, you have to be vulnerable.
I walked away February 26 2023. Got tired of being an option 😪 for 2 years. No sex but good Friends and he started promising things and didn't deliver. I had to let go of the fake promising and walked away no contact is so hard I started a friendship with someone else and stopped throwing men away waiting on him.
Same for me, but we had periodic sex. Not that great most times. Selfish person!
Omg! I went thru the same thing! Thats crazy! Lesson learned! He definitely selectively started making all of these promises, as soon as I said "im exiting stage" left! Smdh 🤦♀️🤦♀️
U lucky u got out without sex
Count your blessings u will be alright trust me...
Same!! Why don’t they try to sleep with us though?! Very confusing to me I’m curious about that one bc a man is a man 🫣🤔
love others "as" you love yourself not more than you love yourself. Loving somebody more than you love yourself is called idolatry.
Technically, no. It’s loving something or someone more than you love God that’s called idolatry, but if you love a man more than yourself, you’ll typically have the kind of pathology to walk in idolatry.
@@shalalala868 We are God and God is us❤
Amen that's what God says I'm not love no body more than love God
Actually
Amen
I learned a great lesson after a 24 year marriage to a narcissist - to thine own self be true FIRST! As lessons tend to do -they come back around one more time to see if you got it. I dated a “lovely” gentleman for 14 months. I didn’t see any red flags. I looked and looked and looked. After 14 months though I started hearing red flags 🚩 “you didn’t do this”, “you do this”, “you did that like that”, “you, you, you…!!
I knew what was coming next!!
I knew it was just going to get worse.
I bid him adieu on the second time I shed a tear. 😢
I have not looked back! I have not called. I have not made any attempt to contact. I do wish him the best & if I ain’t it - I’m GOOD with that! I am not willing to sacrifice myself for ANYONE else EVER again. 😊 I cannot tell you how empowering it felt to walk away! 💪🏻
No fighting. No arguing. Just Bye!
I choose me!❤
U have no idea how much I appreciate ur words. Going thru it for about 2 weeks. Very painful. But ur words gave me strength for today. ❤
@@tiffbrown3782 It gets better! At first, I thought I was going to die. Didn’t realize I had already been dead (to myself) for years! Some days were good - then I’d slip back, then, get better. It kept going like that for awhile. One day I realized - the better got better incrementally, and the sad got lesser as I got better. It’s progressively better & you’ll not make the same mistakes next time.
Old saying; “once bitten, twice shy”
Best wishes to you on your journey!
And believe by doing this God will send you the man of your dreams. He did for me and even tho I the beginning I had to show him that I'm willing to walk away. I know that he's the one and he shows up
I am literally going through a relationship with a man who loves to argue over every single thing that does not please him.Even if I pay a bill and I am too slow because of my health he gets angry at me cause I am slow he says.Then one day he became angry at me because I could not decide easily what I wanted to eat at a eatery.Even if I asked him sometimes where he is or what he is doing it came over to him as if I did not trust him.i am drained from all these arguments with him.He has all the traits of a narc cause he never points a finger on himself but always blames me.Everything is about him ,how he looks,his image and all.I am tired.But my problem is I love him and he knows this.I am not ready to let go but tit will be good for me.He uses me for his own ego.
@@pearlseashell You didn’t say if you’re married but either way he has no regard concerning your health and you can’t be restored health wise bc he’s a bully. He is tearing you down and you know it. Please protect your health, your in an unsafe environment.
Don’t feel guilty about walking away ever. A good relationship is two people with healthy boundaries and clear intentions. Anyone who plays games in a relationship deserves to be alone
It’s impossible to TRULY love someone if you don’t love yourself. It’s only an attachment masquerading as love ❤
A lot woman love the man more than there self . My great grandmother told me in order for it to work the man has to love you more and that is so true
Well said
That's exactly how I feel. I been saying that. I don't care what nobody say. If a woman loves a man more she will for sure got through hell.
So true. My husband, then my boyfriend, said to me after I walked away, that he experienced life w/o me and never wanted to feel that again and GOT IT TF TOGETHER!! BUT GOD!! But LET'S BE CLEAR, HE ALSO UNDERSTANDS THAT IF I NEED TO WALK AWAY ONCE MORE, THERE'S NO MORE CHANCES! He KNOWS THAT US GETTING TO THE POINT OF MARRIAGE was a miracle IN ITSELF that he won't take for granted!! Loving YOU FIRST/MORE LADIES, GENTS, IS NOT OPTIONAL!!
“Willingly” is the keyword. We’re not trying to force an outcome. If that person never comes back that is fine because there is a healthier match to where we now are in our lives.
Ladies Self love and Self care first, always❤️💅👏
Amen I know I had learned that lesson
Facts! I had to turn all this love for him to me…so walking away from him wasn’t easy but necessary for me to gain my worth back 💪🏽🙌🏽👏🏽👍🏽
I'm glad you made wise choice
You can’t love someone else more than you love yourself. It would be love.
I thought that was the way to go I also tried to conform to the Bible :( but the Bible never said to love them more he said to love your neighbor as you love yourself. I'm an idiot. He introduced a Bible to me..as in I started getting to the Bible we bonded over it he treated me like the scum of the Earth...after he used me he said I have no value to him before he wanted to marry me
@@biancamerrell6252 whoa!! How wicked! I’m sorry you had to go through that
When you walk away u either attract better or the person who wasn't enough for you works on themself and comes back as someone more committed and ready for a relationship
When a woman walks away we show our worth and that's very attractive.
We can't expect to attract and keep love if we don't love ourselves first.
Also if we were are waiting around wasting time on wrong people were stopping the right person from coming in
I had to walk away after he broke up with me for the third time. I deserve better and I love myself
Facts!! I used to think it was a super power to love him more than I loved myself 🤦♀️ had to walk away and learn to love me!! Best thing I ever did for me!!
Yes. Love your SELF. Agee.
If they move on they weren’t meant to be in your life.
Indeed!!1
A lot women also love their children more than they love themselves.
I did and it backfired... BUT GOD IS A RESTORER & A PROMISE KEEPER!!!
@@staceypalmer476 If I may ask, how did it backfire?
You're right. I actually had to release my child from taking over my energy and draining me. Of course, no love lost, just boundaries set to make sure we stay spiritually healthy.
My mother did and it turned me into a “narcissist” lol. I’ve healed/ am healing and I don’t recommend loving anyone more than yourself ❤
@@charniecearielle That's what a narcissist would say 😂. On a more serious note, what did you heal from? I think discipline and other less glamorous things can also be love.
Always have non-negotiables:
State the clearly at the beginning.
Hold the cookie.
Health check after 3, 6 months.
U will see if words and actions align by then.
Date multiple.
Don't give it up till he shows real commitment.
Be quick to walk away swiftly once the mask falls off.
Self❤
My grandfather told my mom (her father) that it is dangerous to love a man more than you love yourself. As I got older and witnessed some things growing up. I understood the message.
I fell like that once, but I did walk away and I really feel better..
Thank U.
That's good for sake of peace of mind you better
Left 2 years ago..
I fell in love with myself
Modeling in Milan at 17
Most hate that
I was a 'super' model in the 90s. Pure hell.
If you think you can find better for YOU … have at it !!!!
Forreal but me losing myself for you can NEVER be an option!… not one man on this earth is worth me losing myself !
This is me. I walked away and everything I wanted him to do when we were together, he is committing to now. But it’s too late. To much time of 5years of waiting and waiting for his commitment for marriage.😢
LOTS OF WOMEN LOVE THE MAN MORE THAN THYSELF
Not me I'm always going love myself more than a man then love God more than anyone
@@fredajohnson506 SMART. WOMAN. YOU ARE
@@jujus4735 thanks as song says I love me some me
Ladies, what he is saying is straight up Truth. I had to do it, it hurt like I can’t even humanly explain, but ….I had to Love Myself More than him….and I am better in my essence of being a woman for it. Blessings 🌸
Sometimes you have no choice but to walk away. My life is precious, don’t waste my time. My heart is valuable, don’t abuse it. If you love me then show me. A sincere man will not only tell you how he missed you, he will show you it as well. It is really simple. Actions speak louder than words. Really just had this conversation.
If a woman loves a man more than herself that is not love but it's self pity
Not self pity but content trying to fulfill him out of trusting him 🤔
Amen a man won't never have my heart this why so many womans have die if broken heart from realationships
How is it self pity? I think it's codependancy
If a man loves me more than himself I don't want him .
Some husbands wouldn't even care and go with another women than admit they have a good women and don't want to lose her. Just keep picking up new ones and dropping them. Not learning anything
Very true.
I walked away 2008. I should have long before then however, I needed to do it when God gave me the strength to leave and and never return
🙏🏽 Amen
Amen you not by yourself because I was in marriage fourteen years I knew that should been left because the mentally and physically abuse as well but I stay for wrong reasons my children's but if hadn't for them I wouldn't been left but I finally left in 1997 I thank God he gave me the strength and wisdom walk away never returned but I'm so much more better mentally emotionally spiritually physically I'm not going ever settle again
I think 2 weeks is a good timing .. men start feeling the pain after two weeks when they start to get annoyed of their friends lmao
CutOff Game STRONG 💪🏽
I never put anybody before myself I can love you but I always loved myself more. That's why I can let go easily
This is the principals I stand on & actively practice 💯 I don’t play about me
Ooo Chile! 💯%!
This is so real. This comment is for the person on the fence and afraid to walk away:
I just walked away about 2-3 weeks ago. He hasn’t said a word… and I am coming ALIVE! Every day that he stays silent and does nothing is a day that I learn that I can live a beautiful life without him. Doors are opening for me and I am doing the work to ensure that I remain open to love a man who is ready to love and be loved. What’s greater is I am open to ALL forms of love, inside and out, and I am growing stronger and more beautiful than ever.
You can do this. The grass can be greener on the other side because you can take care of it. Don’t wait around for them to get it. It’s time for you to get it and give yourself the love you deserve.❤
💕😍😪 yep let the dead bury yhe dead!
I'm doing it now and it's almost 2 months till now. Not gonna lie, somewhere deep down inside my heart is still scared and afraid of losing them but it is what it is. I have to make the hardest decision: choosing myself over them, putting myself first before them because they chose to leave me first. I'm scared of the unknown but I have no option now. I will put my trust and faith in God. I believe he has a plan for me even though I see no light at the end of the tunnel. Just trying my best to push through and keep every part of myself from falling apart. It's hard. Just hard.
My Mantra, “If you see me start heading out, there’s no coming back” and I stand by my actions. You need not worry about EVER hearing from me.
I think it’s time for me to give him some time to miss me and maybe I should move on only time will tell.
If he not benefit your life in good way and it's effecting your health mentally then better wise up leave it's best thing for you
If you make me leave you, won't be no 7 days. I'm gone. I can't play those games.
Exactly! 7 days without her is not “experiencing a life without her”. It was a week break. When I pack my shit I don’t look back. My ex texted my completely NEW number talmbout can we talk. *blocked*
Absolute TRUTH I am speaking from experience I DONT make that mistake anymore I now know my WORTH and I give thanks everyday ❤️an🌟☀️⭐✨
Amen 🙌🏾
Loving myself was Never the issue! Let me be clear! His underline insecurity and manipulation and narcissistic personality was the problem. He thought I was never gonna walk away.
In reality, this is beautiful.
You can only walk away once you start to realise your own value, singularly, and within a relationship, and your peace of mind, your acceptance of what treatment of self you'll accept, and your spiritual truth...
Well said!!!
I walked away from my relationship of 8 years he had to much ego and pride and never wanted to communicate he was dismissive of everything and always his way are the high way he would go silent and yell at me when ever I brought up my feelings he also stayed gone for weeks after a argument with no communication. I’m putting god first and focusing on myself.
I walked away and as my grandma taught. Me my boots were made for walking away from bull
99% of us💔💔 It was time to walk away!
Thank you for the transparency 👊🏾
When you walk away from bread-crumbing, you have to be prepared to REALLY walk away and move on. When you get to that point, you are truly free and healed.
I walked away, he came running back!
That's great. Did you marry?
I love myself more than any man, but I DO love him only because he loves me more
💯💯💯
100
That’s why this would never work for me. He was Never in my life.
Exactly
….. I did !!! Joker calling texting writing letters …. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
One night I asked him if he had a lot of sex today he was tired and said yes. A few days later I told him get out.
😂
So on point I’m going through this right now. My intuition telling me to back off yea a week. I need that for myself
Yeah I done that too I walked away and he said the exact same thing to just do it all over again NOW I WALK AWAY AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!!
Now you know when a man cannot live without his woman.. BOY…Coach you couldn’t even last 2weeks.. Your heart and soul must have been on ❤️🔥🔥🔥🔥. The mental anguish 😩was 😭😭😰🥶😖😱too much to bear.. 😃
🙄🙄🙄 so glad I'm single and don't deal with this toxic shit 😅
"NO,NO I LOVE ME SOME ME" PERIOD, YES INDEEDDDD!!!
Memories all that s*** you can keep it 💯💯💯💯💯💯.
Exactly!
A woman, should never lose herself. Woman LOVE GOD AND LOVE Y O U R S E L F !!!!!! !
That was me, then I woke up and walked away from over 20 years. He didn’t want to divorce but I gained so much PEACE🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿
I had to do this as well. I loved my ex SO MUCH that I would have done almost ANYTHING to keep him. The mere THOUGHT of losing him would make me sick to my stomach. I was depressed…gained weight…cried all of the time, paid bills on my own, took care of 2 kids on my own all while working a full-time job and trying to be there for everybody except MYSELF. But after 26 YEARS (dated for 7 years, married for 19 years), I realized that not only were his toxic behaviors not going to stop, but they were getting worse. I had been through enough of his chronic CHEATING…LIES…NEGLECT…MANIPULATION. And after nearly having a nervous breakdown, I FINALLY “shook” myself and did one of the HARDEST things that I’ve ever had to do in my life…I divorced him. I realized that yeah, I loved him…but I loved MYSELF more. And the ONLY way that I was going to continue to LIVE…was to let him go. REAL talk.
NEVERRRRRR look back. They will never ever change.
Once she walks away, it's too late. You're not coming back.
I Disagree I left my Husband twice. I wish him Well.. Thank God For Deliverance
Amen need do what's best for you
I did. I kept letting him hurt me not to justify I really loved him it hurts still I walked away broken 💔. And I got the opportunity to tell him he broke my heart and he acted as if I was the reason his a fucked up person
They don’t take accountability for anything periodt!
I've done this, and it does work. When I existed for him, I had to walk away. I couldn't keep doing what was best for him and not for myself. It's not worth it.
I just walked away today for who knows how many times and my oldest son showed up to help me revamp my entire apartment to get rid of all the old "memories" so I can move forward and start making new memories of love and happiness for MYSELF for ONCE!!
I'm also absolutely...
I walked away 2 months ago and it’s the best thing I did. I still think about him, but my life is a lot better. I’m in church, I’m focused on work, friends, family and I’ve been getting in better physical shape and I can feel spiritually he is somewhere crying 😭 with that bald 👨🏾🦲 head. I will never ever love a man more than I love myself.
I don't understand why it takes to loose the other in order to realize you need them and want them than to realize it while together. Fft!!!
This is a great video thank you sir. He walked away because he wanted to be for the streets while I’m working on my business plan. He texted me recently I didn’t even reply. I’m just gonna have to be the one that got away or he pushed me away. I wish him the best but honestly I feel so good and less burdened. Peace & blessings guys ❤😊
I have know problem with walking away from a man who mistreats me..
I loved my husband more than I loved myself. I have now sworn off of relationships because I refuse to love someone that much unless he loves me just as much as he loves himself.
Yep did that in my 20s. I have learned not to do that anymore.
Hi edagdwg living your own life is soooooo real enjoying your life can't let other people try to make you feel this is what I want you to be move on you can never place her pay attention to what you want for yourself in your life god is always around stay strong and true to yourself Linda j. Peace
This is so beautiful and powerful... let this be the stepping ground for men and women everywhere and not that negative stagnant nonsense.
I believe that I have done that.
I walked away. 2 months after my ex texted me but he didn't say he wanted to talk, he didn't say what he was going to do to change ar anything accountable, he only wanted to blame me and hurt me by letting me know he wa already taking a trip to México and looking for someone else to sleep with because that's what he does (i met him like that aka passport bro). That's when i truly knew he never cared about me or loved me.
Its not possible to love another person more then yourself. Its about what she is (subconciously) getting out of the situation that makes a woman stay.
Yup! That was the former me.
Way too accommodating, sacrificing my own peace and sanity in an attempt to keep, above water, a relationship that was bound to sink! A woman (or man) can't be the only one paddling in the canoe!!! I've learned that now and am too through to go through that again! I am now wiser, stronger, and i puts up w/ bs no longer!!!
Come correct or get left!!! PERIOD!!! ✔️💯
Keep speak the truth bro.! 🙏 Mant ladies and men ladies appreciate it! 💝💯😎
I lived it.....I survived it.....I love it!!!!
I refuse to love a man more than I love my self, my happiness is to essential for me to thrive, especially when a lot of men think they are settling for you, and they want a slave not a real partner
This is what I have been working on, loving myself just a little bit more than I love him. I thought I already loved myself and my life. I even posted several times on social media that I loved my life and I wouldn’t trade places with anyone. Then the universe came along and said, “You don’t love yourself enough. I know you’re an atheist and you supposedly have free will but, the man of your dreams is banished from your life until you go along with this spiritual awakening you don’t remember signing up for before you were incarcerated.”
Authentic love puts one at great risk for being exploited because love is sacrifice. You do love them more than you love yourself. People will abuse it.
Spot on, you Have to walk away so he doesn't get complacent and love yourself more! Women have to look after their own hearts. He will either be back or he wont. In which case , you will move on. I walked away from a 23yr marriage and he would have me back in an instant as he realis
ed ( too late) that I was the love of his life
Too late for me. I found My love of my life after him ❤
e
i learned how to walk away from anyone i did not feel like had my best interest at heart. i learned this in elementary school from girls. so boys were easy too.
There's a lot of SIMPING going on around here.
LOVE ME, MYSELF & I 1ST
This is a true statement. I just told my ex that a few weeks ago. I loved him more than I loved myself. Being in a relationship with him was draining. I had to walk away from the drama. It's been hard financially , but I will be ok. I would rather be single lonely than in a relationship lonely.. Ladies, you must reclaim your crown 👑 & peace of mind...
Wow that's something else you don't hear about to many men's that walk away from realationships but you definitely know most woman's do either way if with someone that's more of hindering to you than a blessing then need call it's quits