What being on Jubilee taught me...🙃
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- Опубликовано: 22 май 2024
- Titles and thumbnails are click-baity because most folks won't click or engage otherwise, which means RUclips won't recommend it.
0:00 Play
1:29 what had hapened
4:55 da comments
8:14 entertaining the upset
12:51 respect vs respectability
15:40 examining intentions
19:06 working another muscle
22:17 how do you change minds?
26:09 a re-introduction
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Gonna make a patreon exclusive talking more about the experience and less about the reaction ✨
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the first 10 minutes of your video tells me that other people think they came with logic and feelings to justify why you shouldn't do it and why it's (morally) superior, and all the reasons you came up with were not logical and feelings based to enable you to make a decision. the folks criticizing seem to not understand that all of the points can be logical and based on feelings but it is about what you prioritize in your logic and feelings to make the decision to go. yes i'm a viewer but you ultimately are curating and creating this content as your daily life experience. so in the end you will explore what you are curious about and what satiates you further understanding who you are and who you are becoming. so in the end this is the path you are walking and it's like those people who commented feel betrayed cause you're their parental figure who they deemed perfect based on what they perceived was perfect and subsequently felt betrayed because the perfection that they created in their mind that you should be was not fulfilled to a tee.
It’s crazy people were upset about your video with Jubilee , it’s very nuanced and engaging to hear your perspective as a queer black woman on certain topics in your videos so it was cool to see you discuss that side of you with other people on that platform.
I’m just recently started watching you but I am extremely appreciative of the fact that you pointed this out to your audience. It’s so easy to be morally superior when in the comment section as opposed to in front of a camera or especially in person. Everyone is a Frankenstein of sorts who have different preferences and grew up in 1000s of different ways. As someone who doesn’t fit a certain box it’s extremely frustrating to find a group that doesn’t immediately assign attributes to me that don’t apply, because I am a multifaceted person. Social media has only exaggerated being in this echo chamber when we should be continually asking questions and facing people with differing opinions and perspectives to further our growth, if we did this more together I think there wouldn’t be as much of a divide as we see in our country today.
1:10 I had friend in elementary school who used to always say confuzzled.
👋🏽🧔🏽♀️
"I DID THIS BECAUSE I WANTED TO"
Full stop.
I'm here for this
Right?! Respect that so much
My therapist gave me the Onion List strategy a couple years ago. She described it as asking yourself "why" until you peel all the layers and get to the ugly painful middle, and forcing yourself to sit with the true root of the problem. It sucks to do, because it requires seriously confronting the ugliest parts of yourself, but you get to rebuild a better stronger foundation for yourself. It's absolutely worth it.
Omg i love this!!! Thanks for sharing another tool
How do you know when you've hit the middle?
@@ninaexmachina this is a good question...i wonder if theres really a way w something so subjective and personal.
I do this but didnt call it that method, i think you practicing you will find the answer. I dont think these kinds of things are like .....step, outlined, objective stuff. We just have to sit with ourselves and follow the thread. You know yourself more than anyone else ever could.
I've been doing this naturally my whole goddamn life. IDK why, I guess I just think it's important to challenge myself and I wish more people would. but coming to the realization at like 22-24 ish that other people don't self reflect and just do things was one hell of a trip.
@@K.C-2049so much this. I’m 23 now, started doing self work and self reflection at 21 and just the immense personal growth I’ve been able to go through, and benefit from has been wonderful. And then meeting so many people, some late in their senior years who still should do that work has been something.
"No one's gonna watch a 3-hour video unless it's a ContraPoints essay" YES QUEEN
She’s the only one that can keep my attention on a chokehold 😂
...and Jenny Nicholson but they're different styles haha😊
I watch sooooo many multi hour videos. Especially about media I've never watched lol.
But Natalie is queen, her vids are def the best, you're right
Maybe not contra, but I watch 3 hour vids on other topics lol
Yes!!! And Wendigoon as well for me!!
being leftist kind of is ABOUT going to not leftist platforms and being able to express yourself unapologetically
uh no? doing actual revolutionary work is far more important than going on a platform that ultimately does nothing at best. it's very strange to me that self-proclaimed leftists in the imperial core put so much stock in this stuff. i can only hope this phenomenon is just with the terminally online.
So. Much. Thiiiiiiiisssssss.
Yeah I purposely consume media regarding views that oppose mine to see how others think and why. It helps me be more solid in my belief and assess my principles accordingly. In as much as I might avoid surrounding myself with people that I have to argue with I do appreciate having conversations with people that don't share my exact views. Again. It's helpful. The world isn't just my bubble. And I learn better as you say to speak up for and stand up for my beliefs as well
I disagree with this and struggle to understand the logic of it. Being a leftist is a catch all term for people supporting labor militancy--unions, siezing the means of production, standing up against landlordism--and generally also entails being an anti-capitalist (ie. supporting socialism of some sort). You can be a leftist and be entirely quiet about it, or be a leftist and only work with those who agree with your specific tendency. It isn't really about being unapologetic about anything, and it's def not about going on non-leftist platforms, because of course not. Not every leftist can or would be willing to do that. Why would that be a defining feature of being a leftist?i get that what you're saying is "leftists should be trying to convince other people of their position." I don't think that's the point of "middle ground" and I also don't think you have to do that by going onto non leftist platforms.
That said, I donmt begrudge Khadija going on Middle Ground at all. At worst it's just a fun check and you look silly on the internet. But I don't think it proves or displays any leftist credentials.
When the channels called jubilee but the channel in fact is an agent of chaos
😂😂😂
@@noy826 that's debatable.
Youssef might educate and change some minds of the audience, but he's going on there for himself to take the platform holder to task. Jubilee is nefarious in that way because they don't have a platform holder/figurehead to put on the spot or hold accountable.
Also, there isnt the same concern on the right as there is on the left about platforming opposition. Idk why, but unfortunately I think it's due to some anti intelligence factors. So there is a bigger risk posed when you have a Bill Nye vs
Ken Ham, a Joe Budden sits down with Candace Owens, or when anyone who isn't strong in their counter tactics like Youssef goes on a Joe Rogan or a Bill Maher type platform. Take note that you don't see rightwing talking heads trying to bridge that gap and tend to avoid certain journalists, progressive pundits, and actual leftist platforms.
Jubilee feigns to be a neutral but it's a space that allows for false information to florish
@@dreiaparratt787 I think the reason right-wing platforms don't worry about platforming opposition is because right-wing ideologies are the path of least resistance in the USA and other "advanced" capitalist societies. In the face of a debate or when any confusion is created, people on average will default to a more right-leaning position, so there's much less risk of their audience moving left than there is of a sort of left-leaning or possibly left-wing audience moving right in response to the platforming of a right winger. (Or, for that matter, when a person who is perceived as left-wing starts spreading right-wing ideas.)
"aren't you tired??" is my response to basically every online person acting online
yeah I'm tired, but I'm having fun arguing
@@grandsome1 this is so sad
khadija every video: "you can always change your mind"
folks seeing them go to change minds on jubilee: "hey man what the hell"
Personally, when I saw they picked you to go on Jubilee, I was kind of glad. A lot of the times they have these “left v right” debates, the conversations are often skewed in the rights favour cause they have soulless, media trained shills who are just there to spread an ideology.
Having an outspoken person who is also thoughtful enough to make approachable, sound arguments really makes the difference a lot of times.
I still don’t have the mental energy to watch jubilee but I’m glad you had a good time at least.
And they usually choose the "leftists" who are not media trained and/or educated (and are just liberals which is not left).
I agree, I feel like one of Jubilee's main problems is that they don't pick well informed people to defend leftist values.
These days they are actually more left and sometimes maybe centre...but definitely not right.
I had never watched Jubilee, because so much of the time it IS about public stances and very reliant on talking points. I think the setup of "two sides to every argument" just tend to ring hollow for me a lot of the time.
But I'm actually going and watching this one not just because I always appreciate hearing Khadija's takes on anything, really, but because it's not really about Stance ABC vs Stance XYZ, but about the different social and cultural conditions of being queer and out vs being queer and closeted.
I really appreciate everything Khadija said in this video up here, because I think it's very easy for an audience to just judge an action without really engaging with it, and I think that basing "criticism" on that is incurious and a bad faith move.
and it is so frustrating because tbh the vast majority of republicans do not think the same way. i think people see leftists as varying in opinion but dont look for the same thing on the right
I'm so glad you addressed this. I was scrolling through the comments the other day like what?? You're an activist and this just what activists do? Talk to people who disagree? Open discourse? Get the word out in any possible way you can? Honestly this weird social purity bullshit is such a big reason for the massive lack of empathy I see coming from nearly every side.
This !!
I agree! I think it inflames a lot of the anti-woke vitriol. You can't get someone to change their beliefs if you don't ask them first why they believe it.
tbf, from what I understand the issues people have isn't "debating" with people who disagree with you but specifically jubilee as a platform. Whether or not you agree I can understand the problem people find with how certain topics are treated as if they should be debatable if that make sense?
Like jubilee will have prompts like do trans folk deserve protection and I can understand how that would disturb people because it implies that should even be debatable.. Like some people's rights are questionable.
I have mixed feelings about people being on jubilee but I personally wouldn't apply those negative feelings about jubilee to all the people featured on there. I'm just saying I definitely see where people are coming from when they say that they just think people should not participate there unless said issue is acknowledged.
All that being said, due to how online discourse works, I'd rather people I trust to advocate for my beliefs and whatnot are there to argue with those people anyway. So it's better there are people around to contest the bigots than leave them to their own devices spreading their hate to the public.
true dat
!!!!
People get away from gender binary and then still struggle to understand the reliance of binaries in every other facet of our lives. People want to be able to escape the boxes forced upon them without the foresight of the boxes they're forcing on other people.
Great video, Khadija.
Yeah thank you it's so weird to me people will call themselves progressives and liberals and then speak from such a close minded conservative view point.
And I mean those terms in their literal sense not strictly the political sense. Being afraid to entertain different viewpoints and/or condemn someone else for doing it is a conservative frame of mind.
It’s so funny because this was the exact same kind of ‘pretzel’ the participant who was celibate was twisting himself up into to explain his ‘free to be himself gay identity’ and his rigid religious beliefs. He escaped one box but doesn’t realise he’s still firmly stuck in another.
Thiiisss I've tried talking to people about this so often and I don't know what it is about it but so many don't feel receptive to that concept, I guess people really want to feel like escaping one part of one binary means they're fully free and can't possibly have and project any other binaries.
im a trans woman living in the south US. recently i started talking to cis men both online and irl who hold some bigoted beliefs about queer people in an effort to create a dialogue with them. i havent had a conversation yet where i felt like the other person didn't learn something or even change their views. none of them have been particularly hostile at all, as i feel like a lot of people are just misguided, though i know this isnt always the case. the hostility i HAVE encountered is from my own community when they learn about who ive been talking to. which was honestly surprising at first. anyways all this to say, this video has inspired me to keep doing what im doing and to try to bridge a gap and lead to better conversations. thank you, khadija c:
Hi! I live in the South too, and this is my experience as well. A lot of people will hear you out. Sometimes the fallback is well that just goes against my religion but a lot of the time you can gently chip away at their rigid perspectives on things.
I'm from San Francisco and my family does this a lot, but I've seen a lot of liberal people hating on conservatives just because they're conservative. I wish people had a mentality of pulling people in rather than pushing them away, because I do think a lot of conservatives could be pulled towards the center politically if people bothered to gently ask them to question their views.
I'm a trans man living in the southern US and this hasn't really been my experience for the most part. Typically when I confront someone on their bigotry (in the nicest way I can) or more specifically transphobia, there seems to be a lot of name calling and meanness attached to it. This is probably a combo of a few things, mainly that I'm in highschool and am also autistic. But I was wondering, and this would only be if you were willing, if you could maybe give me a few tips on how to start an open dialogue like what you're describing? Because I'd love to have more conversations with people who I don't agree with without them getting agitated or attacking me for some aspect of my identity
@@archdevil7472 of course! i would love to. I honestly think it has to do with my luck with finding people who have a willingness and openness to have a discussion. I do sometimes try to avoid those who seem like they are not willing to have a good faith argument. when I was in highschool i experienced what you are describing a lot more, due to boys that age not being full introspective yet. it got a lot easier when i got older, and i noticed people are more open to having a conversation.
the one tip i can give you that has helped me when talking to more hostile people is to try to understand how they got to this bigoted perspective. most of them have troubled lives and feel alienated or like the promises the older generation gave them about how life was going to be is completely false. they have been given an easier answer, that its our fault. so just understand that this view comes from pain, it comes from their own hurt. try to relate with that. one guy i talked to mentioned failed relationships hes had as well as childhood trauma, and i was able to share my similar experiences which helped establish better rapport.
if you have any other questions i am happy to answer and i apologize for this being sort of a ramble lol. take care and stay safe ^~^
💕
Shout out to the southern transgenders 👍🏳️⚧️ yeehaw 🤠
@@archdevil7472 yeah same. i’m not from the south, but i have talked to some non gay ppl online and tried to explain to them my identity and some people are respectful and genuinely curious while others are just plain bigoted and don’t want to change their beliefs no matter how many times you explain to them 😭 so ig it depends
totally understand your points. however, my concern with jubilee and similar channels like cut is how they sensationalize and exploit these heavy topics for views. but that’s my gripe with the producers, not the people they find on the street.
You are well within your right to feel that way, in this process you did just describe youtube.
@@cookie8162lmao
I still remember the video where they put actual doctors up against people pushing pseudoscience in their vaccine video and how they tried to make the pseudoscience people out to be just as credible as the actual doctors who spent years in medical school.
what is wrong with sensationalizing these heavy topics?
@@Charliielicous the purpose of sensationalization is to exaggerate issues beyond it's initial facts.
Respect vs respectability is so important to consider when speaking with anyone. I appreciate your empathetic approach.
respect and respectability is my favourite jane austen novel
“you should not be giving me so much power over how you feel about your ideas” !!!
Ooh, I was looking forward to this one. I think most people who don't have a lot of experience doing actual activism/speaking in public about serious topics don't understand that real life is not social media, and if you want to reach people you'll have to interact with institutions (as much as a youtube channel can be called an "institution" lmao but hopefully my point is clear) that aren't unequivocally good, because that's how you reach people who aren't already aware of / on board with you or your ideas. That's not to say that one should accept invites from anyone indiscriminately, of course, but striving for absolute moral purity isn't going to produce any actual change. You need to talk to people, and sometimes it means meeting them where they're at. It's a trade-off, but part of being an adult is learning how and when to make that trade-off
+
this a thousand times!!!
You rule and the weird parasocial purity tests have to end. You’re one of my favorite creators on the site. Much love!
Definitely. People can be too quick to pounce on a creator without hearing the various contexts of their situation.
Same here😏!
Agreed!
You are sorting through a lot of thoughts I've been having lately as someone in academic spaces where sometimes discussions get heated because the conversation diverges into a moral one instead of "ok but what does this actually do, what do we accomplish with this, what is the bigger picture?" Lately conversations going sideways into these kind of moral high ground arguments are so exhausting to me. I think many people already go into discourse spaces already angry from their own lives and then frame their perspectives from that anger. Which, can be honestly useful, and can bring forth a rapture to the conversation that can be much needed, but it can also easily miss the point entirely if not stirred properly.
Exactly as you put it, we need to leave behind the assumption that certain of us have a moral high ground, or are basically innocents. There are no "good ones", no matter how much you recycle and eat vegan and respect people's pronouns perfectly, your happiness in our world always hinges on some form of exploitation and violence. Such are the trappings of capitalism and of our world at large. We need to be more willing to engage with conflict, and sit with tension, and accept that "ignorant" is our default position, not the outlier. But oh well, those are my two cents.
I am looking forward to seeing the video, mainly haven't cause I've been busy. Thank you for the kind thoughts once again!
Love what you articulated from this. I resonate a lot as someone who spent 6 years studying social sciences. I’ve been having a bit of a shift in the way I project and approach my own beliefs and values, and it definitely feels strange but I like this thought process of what can we do to actually bring about something productive.
As someone who leans libertarian I probably disagree with most people here politically but I absolutely love the way you articulated this and I agree with every word.
Audre Lorde wrote about using our anger to create change rather than letting it foment into hatred of people and systems we cannot control and then fizzle into apathy and lose momentum. We are angry and we can use our anger. But we can't let our anger turn us against our allies.
@@ProletariatPrinceyes, exactly! I love that quote! Anger imo can be very productive and literally an instigator of change, of dismantling systems, of mobilizing etc, as long as it doesn't turn into a destructive wrath that's only tearing things apart indiscriminately. I honestly get frustrated because I've been that person too when I was younger. I see people fighting on an individual level when there's whole ass effed up structures that us humans built (and thus can re- or un- build!!!!) that go by unnoticed as if they are invisible!! (now im angry again haha)
Great points. I feel like one of the issues with online debates, like on Jubilee, can be the attitude people go in with, whether it be moral superiority or static anger that doesn’t care for change. I hope online debates can facilitate a safer space for people to be honest and open-minded with one another.
Honestly I have a lot of hard lines these days. I have no bridging skills and I'm not likely to develop them. Something I've learned is that there's a place for people like me in movements and there's a place for people unlike me. I can be an activist, a disrupter, put my body on the line and be consistant in praxis but I'm not gonna be an organizer. I'm not gonna be changing many minds. I'm glad people like you are here cultivating and using those skills I lack Khadija ❤ I really appreciate your perspective
Really love this!
This resonates so much with me!!
This is how I feel as well. I spent a lot of my teenage years trying to start conversations and change minds, but it took such an indescribable toll on me, and it's simply not something I am interested in or willing to do anymore. I don't want to debate my existence with people, I don't want to argue that I should be allowed to use public bathrooms, I don't want strangers asking me horribly invasive questions. Some might call it cowardice, but I'm at a point where all I want to do is help spread information and be left the hell alone.
@@RainbowNanakiI completely understand where you're coming from.
I wanted to chime in and give a friendly reminder that when you're marginalized, there is *nothing* cowardly about or wrong with saving your energy for yourself, your life, and your well-being instead of spending that energy educating others/debating and defending your own existence. 💜
@@RainbowNanaki Same here. I am in a third world country where trying to open conversations about such movements can be met with disgust and ridicule to extreme violence and danger. I spread information mainly through social media and to friends and people who I know personally. I don't want to be a representative of the whole lgbt community or have to constantly debate "why I am the way I am" or take unasked for suggestions on how to be "fixed". I just want to live my life as freely as possible and try to do some good along the way.
It kind of seems like an extension of that "conflating the worker with the corporation employing them that I actually have problems with" mentality I see a lot. Where it's like people see Jubilee, think "I find their business practices harmful" and then decide everyone appearing on Jubilee = Jubilee itself, therefore they think "I find _your_ business practices harmful". It feels like a very human kneejerk response when the truth is, of course, way more messy bc people have a wide array of reasons for working for/with companies/etc.
Yeah I think acknowledging that the initial reaction is normal, is very important. While also pointing out that you don't have to treat a first impression as the end all be all
Everybody got a cell phone with questionably resourced parts.
@@cmg25 HELLO
Yesss exactly. Like people aren't solely defined by their jobs, professional opportunities or which companies they partner with/appear on. Don't get me wrong there are cases where it makes a lot of sense to be like "at this point just participating in this has to be an indication of a personal issue" but generally yeh everything's much more nuanced than that. You can do a job for years and leave it having the same feelings and beliefs that you've had when you went in even if it goes against what your job was about.
Also lot of times workers are the first one to criticize the company or the people they work for because they're usually the most involved and concerned by their behaviour.
isn’t someone saying “i trust you” just as parasocial as saying “i’m disappointed”??
I think you for sure have a point, but think of it more this way.
"I'm disappointed" is usually a snap judgement and no further digging was done. It implies you have a sense of who this person is, that you know them and know this is something they wouldn't do because you know their character.
"I trust you" should be more of a pause, let me see what going on here. There's no snap judgement, there's curiosity to find out why something is happening or being said. I don't know the full story, I don't know the depths of this person's thoughts, let me try and understand what's happening here.
I don't want to assume this was the intent of what's being said here but this is how I operate. We should all be more open to hearing people out (of course, exceptions to every rule) and stop just assuming the worse when we see/hear something that we don't like on first appearance.
Yeah, that's accurate
Absolutely, we can't avoid parasociality when engaging with a content creator in this way. That's where the intent of the parasocial interaction is valuable.
This is a good observation. The modality of content creation encourages a certain kind of emotional transference and illusory sense of proximity, which has its own interesting chemistry with a broader trend of extreme social isolation. People attempting to impose their expectations upon a content creator is an example of acting upon the illusion of proximity (it's giving relational aggression, without the relational part).
@@momain5483i think they referenced the comment of i trust you in the video, which IS based in someone believing they know Khadija enough to trust.
me being nosy despite having totally missed the jubilee video news
Honestly, I had a similar sort of kneejerk reaction of discomfort to your announcement about that video as a lot of people in the comments, though I didn’t feel in a place to comment because I just don’t really do that, especially if I wasn’t gonna actually watch the video first to find out how it went. And like you said we really don’t know you outside of what you choose to share, and if we’re looking for someone to just align with our own opinions on all points that’s not your problem.
I was wondering how you’d go about this video and I really appreciated all the stuff you covered, I continue to admire your approach of really thinking about stuff from different angles without inherently agreeing with or disregarding them, just understanding them, and encouraging others to do the same. Your work is always thought provoking no matter how it does or doesn’t line up with my own present understanding and opinions 💛
I personally really appreciate you as a creator because I think so many creators try to stay in public favor at the expense of not revealing how they truly feel. I don’t trust creators who only have the “good” takes, or the popular takes. We need people to bring nuance into conversations. Nuance is always going to cause those with black-and-white thinking to become reactive. Thank you saying things how you see them. We can’t pretend like everything in this world can be approached in extremes. More often than not, I’ve noticed, we must co-exist with discomfort and our own feelings of resistance in order to have real conversations. Thanks Khadija!
your comment about distress tolerance spoke to my core! I have an anxiety disorder and it seeps into my every day life, its taken me years (and will continue to take me decades) to improve and not let my anxiety and distress control how I approach a situation. we as people NEED to be uncomfortable to see different things and to GROW as people.
Genuinely. In highly developed nations, there seems to be a growing problem with people being unable to differentiate between "fearing for safety" and "feeling discomfort," and that is INCREDIBLY dangerous. And, like many things, it ends up causing the greatest amount of harm to our most disadvantaged communities.
One person's discomfort should never trump another's right to safety, not ever.
I think it's important to keep it in mind, and to remind our friends and family of it, when necessary. You are absolutely allowed to feel discomfort, and to even express discomfort. But if it leans into the territory of further marginalizing people, or putting them in harm's way, that is not okay.
Saaame. I've got anxiety disorder and OCD and I've done so much work unpacking my OCD so much of it is just accepting and realizing that yeah those fears might or might not happen, either way, OCD is a disservice to me, if my fears happens I'll feel shit and will also have to deal with the OCD 24/7, if it doesn't happen, I'll also have to deal with the OCD 24/7 and the fear as well because it bombards me with it regardless.
And slowly I realize I need to accept that yeah honestly I'll just feel shit if it happens, and like so what, I already feel shit because of my OCD anyways, so at this point why am I even afraid and dreading feeling like that ?
love this video, i’ve had lots of these kinds of conversations. people who take advocacy on as an aesthetic think that contact with ~problematic~ people/spaces/platforms taints you and i find it genuinely disgusting. they don’t even care about the ideas, it’s mostly about draping yourself in the appearance of “progressive politics” of “communism” of “liberation”. when it comes to the actual intellectual conversations they can’t grapple with the fact that those ideas shift and change and people with flaws and *problematic* aspects advance those ideas.
I understand not wanting to enter potentially contentious spaces, or engage with people who have different opinions themselves, it’s not for everyone and a lot of people would do a bad job.
but you are EXACTLY who those people should want in those positions. we Need strong, convincing, intelligent voices to be front and center as much as possible.
I hope u keep it up
Thank you for your comment. 🫶🏿 I would say more things but I’m high and just wanted to at least acknowledge that what you said was much appreciated
Lord lol
Slacktivism?
@@johnindigo5477 thats part of it but I'd argue its actually significantly worse than just slacktivism. The line between "slacktivism" and "real activism" is often muddy, and I think a lot of people use the easy "slacktivist" stuff to dip their toes into "real activism". From each according to their ability sometimes means that spreading info, donating resources, promoting orgs, signing petitions, ect. is the best someone can do and they shouldn't feel ashamed of that. I think its pretty natural for the easy stuff to be done most often by the largest number of people.
Actually these overly aesthetically focused "leftists" tend to fold basically everything into their critique of "slacktivists". Anything short of direct revolutionary violence (which they don't even do) is just "lib shit" and "slacktivism" to them. Any form of entryism, outreach, or persuasion will bring in people with diverse ideological tendencies, tactics, priorities, life experiences and so forth, but what they want is purity for their social space. Its a fundamentally authoritarian instinct that makes people look at something like Khadija going on Jubilee and see Harm rather than just thinking "that's not for me, I hope it changes some people's minds". They just want to collect all of the people who already agree 100% with them, condemn the rest as heretics, and LARP as revolutionaries while not even doing the easy slacktivism stuff.
Isn’t the entire premise of Jubilee’s channel to portray and profit from the aesthetic of social advocacy
Word of the Day: ‘Confuzzled’.
IT SHOULD BE A WORD
90% sure it is, pretty commonly used in my experience. Ok quick check on a dictionary site...not a word yet technically, but it is an old portmanteau from the 90s so its been around for a long time. Basically a word really ^^
It's a great word!!
Been saying it since middle school
Very 90s internet
It is a word😂
So, individuation...Khadija I'm basically hearing you ask to be regarded as an autonomous being, and that folks hold themselves as autonomous too, so interdependence can be the basis for this community and the people who interact with the content you put out. I'm so clear and so thankful and so on it.
As someone (nigerian born and bred) experiencing newfound awareness around how most of my upbringing informed my conceptions of being in community rooted in codependency, guilting, manipulation and control, this video could not be more appreciated, I was one of those people, believing group think is the basis for community and those who disagreed were unhealthy, buying into individualism capitalism blah blah real hypocrite tings like you're saying, and let me tell you...I wasn't always communicated with the way you're clearly articulating so it just ironically meant more division.
Hopefully folks are picking up what you're putting down because this is trauma healing and highkey reparenting content imo.
I have never heard this word before, thank you 🫶🏿
🫶🏿right back at uuu
Wuuuh, I'm Tanzanian and I totally related to what you shared about group think. Thank you for your comment, it freed me
I “trust” Khadija. I interpret “trust” here as Khadija produces her content in good faith, seeking to understand deeply the topics and issues at hand through research, conversation, and action. That Khadija’s goal is to educate, stimulate thought and conversation, and to deliver quality content. I think Khadija doesn’t necessarily expect you to agree with her 100% of the time, but wants you to trust that she believes the thoughts that she expresses and forms her opinions with due diligence. In this, I do trust Khadija.
The issue I personally have with jubilee is it feels insincere. I love nuanced conversations I like hearing both sides even if I don’t agree or align with opposing perspectives. I prefer watching people react like Cody KO and watching that vid I enjoyed hearing both experiences and conversations. I think jubilee all though it feels icky and exploitative for views it’s interesting that people can sit in a room and have a conversation.
I agree Jubilee's track record isn't that great when it comes to making controversial content just for the views, but it doesn't mean they can't come up with good content at times and course correct
the fact that they've used selective editing to distort people's messages (or to make a villain) before is probably part of that insincerity, which makes using that platform... risky, I guess. obviously Khadija thought it was a worthwhile risk though, and it seems to have worked out
@@digitalmilay'all keep acting as if they can control what the participants in these videos are gonna say,for people fighting about policing,we are literally doing policing ourselves. You can literally say the same thing about RUclips and TikTok yet you are still here
@@majesticfalcon6402selective editing doesn't cut out the fact that some people said some things just so you know and yes you may hate them but it's literally how they make their money, Khadija's video didn't even have any rage bait and the views were low,if you have a problem,you have a problem with humanity not jubilee alone because many people would rather watch violence than something else
@@majesticfalcon6402 I actually don't think they use selective editing *enough*, they make each position seem like false equivalencies...
“if you only have the philosophical, thinky-cerebrally aspect of it, you’re only going to be able to connect so much” this was a WORD! For a long time i have considered myself exactly this, someone behind the scenes but not a messenger. i realized RIGHT before you said this that, yes i can be a GOOD organizer with this mindset, but a GREAT organizer is able to connect to people. A lot to think about, and i really appreciate your perspective 💞
A lot of people want others to change their minds but arent willing to actually do what it takes to change those minds. Yeah, some people are stubborn and ultimately no one can change if they don't want to, but assuming that everyone is like this is detrimental. It also takes time!! It's taken me almost a decade to get my mom to recognize the harm in capitalism, the general corruption of cops, and like so many other things I can't think of right this second.
Also, I recently saw someone talk about the difference between hurt and harm and the gist was: Just because it hurts, doesn't mean you were harmed. It's a sentiment I'm still stewing in and I'm not sure I 100% agree with it, but it absolutely is true in a lot of cases and I think learning how to recognize the difference would probably be beneficial.
(Editing to say one more thing: I feel like a lot of people still operate under a "they're monsters" mentality. Yes, they're absolutely horrible people. But they're still people. Removing their personhood means you will not recognize the same "monstrous" traits in yourself, in those you deem good.)
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Can you explain the "just because it hurts doesn't mean it harmed you"? I'm a little confused. Also I'm trying to get my dad to understand how capitalism is detrimental to us. How did you get through?
Oooo love this “hurt” and “harmed” language as well. Much more specific cause I also get scared that we’re using therapy speak against people too
@@eli10589the hurt ≠ harmed thing is something I’m still struggling to understand 😅 the way I currently understand it is like… the difference between distress and traumatizing. So like, the grocery store not having a food I really wanted is distressing but it’s not going to traumatize me. Grieving a loved one is going to hurt, but it’s not going to harm me. Someone being annoying in public is distressing, but it’s not harmful.
I think it’s something that has a lot of nuance, and that wasn’t explored in the tumblr post I saw. It’s definitely something I want to fight when I hear it! Which means it’s something I need to sit down with and let it marinate.
As for your dad, it honestly just depends on what type of person he is. Phrasing things differently could help though. So for example ‘capitalism creates poverty’ could rephrased as ‘it sucks that people that work really hard at their jobs don’t get paid as well as the bigwigs in charge that sit on their ass all day’. Break down the construct and bring it to a personal level. Sending infographics with something along the lines of ‘huh! Never thought about it like that!’ gives room for exploration and doesn’t give a holier-than-thou I know more than you feeling.
And it sucks having to take baby steps!! It sucks having to dumb it down!! But you don’t start with calculus, you start with learning what numbers are in the first place. Being a kind and understanding source, so long as they’re respectful in return, goes a long way when others are quick to insult people for not already knowing. No one wants to learn from someone or see their perspective when they’re being berated for trying.
@abrenn I understand now. With the dad part, I just wanted to get your perspective on that subject because I gave up trying to get through to my dad. 💀 It's just not worth it to me anymore. But thank you ✨️
I had no issue or expectation but I will say I personally dislike the " but youre on RUclips" point. Its like when we critize capitalism or speak out against injustice in production chains for example and people say " but youre using a phone to say all of this" or " youre on the internet" or stuff like that. RUclips is a whole platform, one of a kind. Jubalee is one channel. There is no other RUclips ( maybe Nebula but that cant be viewed for free), just like we cant opt out of capitalism to critize it like the people who say want us to do ( and they know we cant, its a shut up comment after all) we cant move to anywhere else.
Other than that I genuinely dont see the issue. I started to watch it, didnt finish it ( maybe I will maybe I wont). Has nothing to do with not wanting to hear from people I disagree with at all, there are many ways to do that, this was just one of them. I actually talk to people in real life about this stuff and Im constantly forced to empathize with people I disagree with as an informal educator about topics of race with people ( white dutch people mostly) who dont even really believe or care about racism.
But thats just me. You dont owe us anything, just like we dont owe you to support/watch everything youre doing always. In other words, live and let live. Make decisions for yourself and sometimes its okay to just have an opinion quitelty ( people were doing a bit much in those comments, very much unnecessary imo). A lot of entitlement and judgement in those comments that are just not needed.
I agree with you until the end because while some of the comments could've been invoked by expectation/entitlement, they could've just been as easily invoked by the frustration of having to just accept.... ie: We get it. We get why she went on the channel, we get that her values are separate, etc, etc, we get it, we get it. But it still stings that she has to go to a place like that, where we know they can be counterproductive and detrimental to a cause, in order to bridge a gap.
It's not a disappointment at her, it's a general disappointment.
The “but you're on RUclips” point wasn’t about shutting down any criticism of Jubilee itself, it was about calling out the hypocrisy of people who were shaming Khadija for engaging with a platform that they find problematic, by highlighting the ways that the dynamics of Jubilee are a microcosm of RUclips’s. Do you see how that’s different to the “we should improve society somewhat” meme? It’s about starting with criticism of an individual vs criticism of systems.
Incidentally, people can use “there is no ethical consumption under capitalism” as a thought-terminating cliché to avoid examining the ways in which we do have some agency to make choices that, even if they’re not perfect all the way down the line, do still better align with our values. Other video platforms might not be exactly like RUclips, but as you mentioned, there are indeed ways to consume a lot of the same content elsewhere. Nebula doesn’t have a rule against account sharing, last time I checked. If someone feels strongly enough about the things they dislike about Jubilee that they don’t believe there’s any good enough reason for someone to interact with a platform like that, I’m sure they can find 2-4 other people to each chip in $10-16 a year for a Nebula account, and get off RUclips.
If they actually can’t do that somehow, then they could just… not watch online video content at all. There are other things you can do with your time! Some people think bacon’s a one-of-a-kind meat, but that’s not a good enough reason to eat it if your ideological opposition to seeing animals as food leads you to tell strangers you’re disappointed when you hear them order a chicken salad.
Obviously none of this is really the point of this video, and I do think you and I are largely in agreement - we shouldn't need to live in a bubble, and in the absence of an ability to cope with people having differing values, lots of those commenters just needed to say less.
I mean, there's always Odysee but that's a whole nother beast.
Peertube's too small to live on, which wouldn't work for people living off YT.
@@snr0n I wonder if the people criticizing Khadija are viewing Jubilee as a channel that makes debate content and there is a real legitimate criticism of progressives/leftists/whathaveyou engaging in making debate content with right-wing/bigoted people because it legitimizes their beliefs (in a way that just being on the same social media platform does not) and if that's the case it's not hypocritical to watch youtube and criticize someone for participating in a Jubilee video
@@nicolepower3770 I mean, RUclips not only legitimises but actively promotes and profits from extremely harmful misinformation and bigotry by running ads for people like Matt Walsh, PragerU, The Epoch Times, etc. etc. (not to mention all the ads that are for outright scams, but that’s a whole other problem) It’s especially gross that they seem most likely to do that in front of videos that contain accurate and educational left-leaning (and particularly LGBT-focused) content, so that someone who isn’t well-informed on those topics but is looking for info is first exposed to some carefully crafted manipulative fearmongering.
Given that multiple studies have shown that, whether starting from a blank slate or accounts with a clear interest in either left or right-wing content, users from all those groups are more likely to be recommended right-leaning content (and that recommendations tend more towards political extremes over time, which drives radicalisation), I personally think all of those issues combined with RUclips’s massive reach adds up to something much worse than a channel where a small proportion of their content (not that I think the rest is worth watching either, mind you) is some pretty mid ragebait. I’m not gonna pretend Jubilee’s making those videos with the intention of opening hearts and changing minds, lol - obviously it’s just about money, as are RUclips’s own choices.
But again, all of that is really tangential to the heart of the issue, which is that the people who found this situation emotionally or rationally difficult to come to terms with would be much better off if they were able to develop their understanding of the expectations it’s appropriate to have about a stranger who's made some nice videos.
We hear all the time about how much the divide between the left and the right has grown. I'm grateful that there are people who are willing to be bridges, even though I don't have the patience for it.
Im not going to watch a Jubilee video but I actually think people like you need to be on there more. You are articulate, well researched and able to communicate in a friendly way that doesn’t intimidate people. Jubilee is popular with the exact demographic you are likely to connect to as a bridge farther left.
I've always understood Jubilee to be an inherently bad faith platform that mostly favors the right and that is my greatest challenge when it comes to trying to open my mind to that avenue of thought. Sometimes I will wonder like "are there good intentions from these people, is it all just miscommunication?" I do see that people who lean right do typically struggle with the same issues that those who lean left do, but they just have a..different perspective on the causes and solutions. But oftentimes, these conversations are just back and forth "FU" arguments that just kinda go nowhere. So, to see a platform where people like talk to each other seemed appealing. And I just remember seeing this lady go on about how Capitalism is the reason slavery ended and that it's this amazing thing and the other people (I think they were communists? It's been a while and it's really cringe in all directions, I'm not going to back to re-watch it, so if I'm wrong, I'm wrong) just throwing out the most wack rebuttles because they really lacked either the knowledge to debate or the "pizzazz" that a lot of these right leaning people typically have that always gives the vibe that they are "winning" the conversation, even though it's a bunch of nonsense and kind of defeats the purpose of debate, that is, to find the middle ground between two parties instead of competition. It's hard for me to explain, or maybe I'm wrong, idk, but it's like when Ben Shapiro goes to debate college freshman who just aren't equipped to debate. If you are actually prepared, you have your head organized, you have the expertise from all of your experiences or academic studies or whatever, you're patient, and you're actually able to get through that kind of barrier, then Hell yeah, I can see the value in that and maybe you can do some good with it and that's cool that you had fun and all. But to me, it always seems like debates with right and left in the context of American politics at least are just so innantely skewed right and it's always going to be an uphill climb for leftist thought and I believe that is the crux as to why some people may feel some type of way when it comes to the channel and who is platformed on it. While watching this, I recalled a video by Contrapoints, "The Witch Trials of JK Rowling," where she details being invited onto this podcast/interview by Megan Phelps Roper to talk with JK Rowling herself, with Roper as the mediator. What ended up becoming of that was, yet again, more anti LGBT rhetoric, with 5 hours dedicated to, more or less, just making JK Rowling seem like she was this victim of a bunch of psychotic trans activists for just having "a few reasonable concerns" about trans people existing, with Contra barely even getting a spot in the entire like 7 hours of the program. Contra agreed to do this with the belief that there was a chance by reaching out this way could give her a chance to de-radicalize a certain group of people with bigoted beliefs held up by a foundation of ignorance, that she would prefer to see the good in people and that if you really just talked to these people, they'd get it, they'd leave this experience more educated and, ideally with a more open and compassionate mind. But that's never what The Witch Trials of JK Rowling was from the very beginning. That's why I feel like it's nigh impossible to go on these platforms hoping to achieve anything good, these right-leaning influencers and their respective platforms don't care to be educated and would more so aim to make you look stupid with bad faith discussions to validate and bolster their views and revenue than they would to actually open their minds to debate and education. They don't debate, they don't listen, they don't care, as Innuendo Studios put it, they groom
This! Especially that last line. I wasn't even gonna comment until I saw this. I was one of those people who was like, " Love you, Khadija, won't watch" but wasn't mad at all because I figured I knew what they were trying to do and after watching the video I was right and I LOVE that for them and us
On the topic of Jubilee, though, that last line got to me because learning that was what radicalized me. I realized a long time ago that a lot of left right-wing people can and do understand what people are saying, but they just don't care. They just want to be bigots in their peace and your peace. It's not even specific to conservatives. So many people in everyday conversations will be proven wrong on something and say, "idc, idc, I'm still gonna side with X" or "believe in B" or "Y is still dumb". Knowing that that rhetoric exists and knowing that people with platforms have political positions, I'm going to use more discernment and be closed off to certain differing opinions and areas that I want to debate with or engage with.
Think of it this way,you are only viewing it from both sides of the sphere,what about the audience watching? There's something I've noticed about you Americans, it's your "main character syndrome", y'all think everything revolves around you. Jubilee is very popular here in Nigeria,more so,it has even inspired a Nigerian RUclips channel that Nigerians are watching making us think critically about subjects that we just relied on the old methods for. Both parties that come to the show aren't changing each others minds,duh,they go there for the exposure even Khadija herself but you underestimate the audience watching whose minds can be changed. Y'all continue to just look at the bad part of everything underestimating it's good objectives
@@yellowlight2563opposers can also say the same thing about you, y'all just branding them this and that shows no nuance
i ignored the comments in the community post and watched the video with my dad who doesn’t know my orientation and it generated great conversation that helped me feel like i could maybe come out to him someday.
I went into watching that video with the expectation of 'Khadija is going into this in good faith'. I was not disappointed but GURL how do you make this video without talking more about the religious drama??
I FORGOT 😂😂
Also honestly, we were all more chill after things happened
Good to know your experience was mostly pleasant; that's RARE in Jubilee!
in my opinion while jubilee does platform some horrible people, they’re not going to stop coming on to share their opinions. not showing up to push back is self defeating, the platform is there we and need to take advantage of it any way we can
I think the two biggest problems that people see is how Julibee allows for misinformation to be spread by not fact checking anything that comes out of peoples mouth and how they capitalize on putting people into a room to argue why they should be seen as human witb other people who dont see them as human. I guess it just seems like torture and it dosen't really work. Very much feels like murderer vs. victims family. Middle ground. Like there is no middle ground there.
Debates themselves don't do much to change anyone's minds especially the people who come on because a lot of them are right wing influencers who profit monetarily off of their views. There is no open mindedness or trying be "understanding" but trying to get a clip that they can get on their channel of "owning the libs".
When leftist do make a good point or try to speak their argument after being talked over everyone starts clutching their pearls and saying that they're being "too aggressive". It puts people in a situation where they're forced to be emotionless when talking about something that js clearly emotional and saying that you have to find "middle ground" with people who don't see you as a human being. Leftist can absolutely go on there and try. Its the thought that counts i guess. 🤷
I really like that you stressed the emotional aspect of arguing. It’s such an important, overlooked part of communication online but also in real life during disagreements and I think about it a lot. Having a distress tolerance is so important to stay sane and I wish more people knew of the concept. It really levels up your communication game if you can just Sit In It and reflect upon your intentions sometimes. I’ve noticed straight up asking people about their intentions or laying out your own perception of other people’s intentions so they have the possibility to adjust my perception also really helps during arguments. Even during real life “arguments” that are actually just subtly hidden bullying or judgements (Autism Life Hack!!). People don’t expect someone to genuinely ask about their intentions or to be asked “Is it your intention to hurt me right now? Because if so I’m going to stop listening to you.” It has really helped deescalate fights for me and push good, interesting arguments a little further.
The whole point of being a leftist is trying to better the world. And if you have the emotional bandwidth to do the labor (not shaming those who don’t, existing in this world is hard), discussions with people who don’t think the same are helpful. We need more leftists. It’s the reason I, an online s*x worker, have been trying to have earnest conversations with men to try and keep them from falling down the incel pipeline. Even if the person I’m talking to online doesn’t change, maybe someone else will see it and it’ll help them.
I’ll be honest, I did initially side eye you working with Jubilee because I don’t like their middle ground videos. Especially the one about Palestine and Israel. But I know why you did it because I did the same thing. And I think the video you participated in was great.
This video is a masterclass on bridge-building, persuasion, and boundaries online. Gave me a lot to think about. Thanks so much for sharing yr thoughts 🙏🏾
I watched the video pretty fast solely cause Khadija was on the thumbnail. The only thing that somewhat disappointed me is I think Khadija can hold their own in a level headed manner against the worst of the worst on the hateful sides of what I've seen on Jubilee. Usually they find normal, random minorities platformed against media trained bigots with large platforms. Outside of one person in the video, it seemed pretty tame and moreso more experienced queer people giving advice and perspective to less experienced ones.
My overall feelings were it was as wholesome as me helping baby trans women by sharing my experience. I was very uncomfortable with the degree of fakeness by the celibate man, though. Growing up in the South, the double speak fakeness is an uncomfortable norm here, and the video perfectly displayed the discomfort of it. I agree with Sal's points of believing in a religion that condemns queer people to eternal suffering equates to not respecting people.
I overall wish Jubilee would just find leftist academics who are willing and can hold their own to match the right figureheads they cast for some of these videos.
They bring academics on both sides not just random leftist,just say you don't know the ones that are on the left because i see both on their platforms
@@jeffersonhassan4558 I've seen MANY videos where they pit random trans people they found against daily wire bigots.
Comparing RUclips to Jubilee doesn't seem right to me. RUclips is a platform, whereas Jubilee is a RUclips channel based on inviting guests. RUclips doesn't make click-baity videos, it broadcasts click-baity videos. At most, RUclips can censor videos that don't respect their guidelines or use the algorithm to push aside "controversial" videos. On the other hand, Jubilee is in charge of deciding the debate subjects, choosing the guests, editing the videos (and cutting out some parts) and creating the thumbnails. Jubilee has a lot more control on the content that comes out of their company
Yeah…. I think Khadija has good intentions here, and I generally trust their judgement, but I don’t quite trust Jubilee. I used to watch their Middle Ground content obsessively because I had high hopes for the arguments and guests they chose, but at the end of the day they tend to pit undereducated allies or minorities against bigots. So many of their videos about trans people, feminism, parent rights, vaccine denial, and climate change encourage people in the comments to favor the views of bigots or objectively wrong people because they’re allowed to be the opposing side. In an honest climate change debate, you’d have different scientists or advocates from along the action spectrum, because we shouldn’t be debating whether global warming is happening. It is. That is a known fact, and the only people arguing against it are on the fringes. They’re not a legitimate “side” in a debate.
When you want to bring on known transphobes and bigots and set them against random trans people or undereducated allies who just wanted to be allies, you’re treating minorities like their rights and humanity are up for debate. Not to mention, you can’t really compare a RUclips channel to the platform it exists on, because Jubilee has direct control over what guests and what topics appear in their videos. All RUclips can do is try to sort through their endless content.
I won’t say I feel betrayed, and I’ll try to watch the video to have a more informed take, but at this point I just feel kinda disappointed.
Except RUclips also has an insane amount of control over their platform. They are the platform, they decide what is permissible and what people see, controlling the conversation by doing so
@@fedweezy4976 I suppose, but RUclips doesn't commission creators to make specific videos, bring on certain guests, or hand out scripts. For the most part, an independent channel can still function within RUclips's guidelines without obsessive monitoring and oversight.
I just read a post on Threads by Ty Alexander (don’t know who they are but I wanted to give them credit) and they said “I want us to start being quiet when we have nothing of value to add.” Sometimes we need to hold back that knee jerk reaction (I include myself in this) and wait til we have enough info to make a comment. Or we could just not make a comment at all! Not that we’re never EVER going to react negatively, or that we can’t express a difference of opinions. Idk 🤷♀️
I would like to say I love your content and appreciate your take, always.
I don't think one can compare RUclips and Jubilee. RUclips is like a tv with channels. Each person can choose what channels to watch. Jubilee, to some, is like the brutal fight club channel, while your channel is a healing and philosophy channel. It's morally consistent to say I'm ok with watching TV, but I think it's wrong to watch or participate with the fight club channel.
agreed
I didn't watch the Jubilee video and my opinion on all this is irrelevant.
But regarding your comment, I also feel like we don't really have a choice in watching youtube for content. Same with having a phone, it's a bit impossible to live in modern society without one. I understand the argument Khadija made and I agree with them, but the comparison falls a bit flat for me.
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@@mlletroubleyeah that point def felt a little ‘how leftist if own phone’
I mean…. but you can choose which jubilee video you watch as well. Do you think Open verses Closeted queer is genuinely the same as the 🍉 “debate”. Like some of the discussions on jubilee are not that bad lol, some are absolutely horrendous. but i mean you can choose what you watch on jubilee just like you can choose what you watch on youtube.
Khadija I completely agree with you! Many people do not know how to have intellectual/philosophical debates or conversations without insulting each other and it is sad. Being open-minded gives you an opportunity to expand how you think while potentially giving you a new perspective on life, I wish more people understood that.
I dislike having to go to Jubilee's channel and give them views, that's about it. I understand people platforming, or going to platforms, and I think you rationalizing it out as "hey, you're on RUclips aren't you?" really confirmed my more open stance on the matter. It's been a growth I've had to realize over the years. That I wasn't really upset at the platforming of individuals, websites, or channels, but the content itself. And in the case of watching YOU over at Jubilee, I trust I'm going to have a good time, given what I know of your prior content. Doesn't mean I support them, doesn't mean I have to give them a pass. But they do bring on people worth watching from time to time and I think just maybe, it might help people understand where we're all coming from and/or change minds.
To answer the "Why do you feel the need to send this video to people". It comes down to - I see them hurting others, and I think your video might help open their eyes to the harms they are causing, or to the humanity they share with the person // I don't want to see people hurt others.
Typically a silent viewer but I just have to say I love this video! Challenging your own beliefs and others in an open minded and honest way, without just looking to pick a fight or put someone down, is such an important part of growing and becoming better people and improving society. Thank you for being a pillar for this idea!
Bernie Sanders spoke on Fox to unite people and make them consider that the issues they’re concerned with are not too dissimilar from the other side. He went on to make people think.
jubilee viewers are so obsessed with respectability politics that they ignore the actual substance of whats being said a lot of the time
I think the access to choice is the difference between the channel jubilee and the platform RUclips. There is less choice to make the kind of content RUclips platforms without using RUclips. You can have these kinds of conversations without using jubilee. Calling some people’s criticism of that choice hypocritical is not only dishonest but disarms and invalidates the original concern/ criticism. I didn’t have a horse in this race but that section bothered me. Particularly because you make such a point about how you did this because you wanted to and you chose to, saying any criticism of the choice is hypocritical due to a false comparison is a confusing response.
“The bag” is the funniest.
Discussing and discoursing is just feeling so damn exhausting every day. You handled this with more grace than I could.
i think you did really well in the jubilee video, you listened very well and had good insight but the conversation itself was very interesting and i dont know how to feel about it, especially the heated parts
I've been watching your channel since the bridgerton video and I'm so happy to see how far you've come. Your perspectives and insights are so thorough and knowledgeable and I really appreciate what you do. Keep it up!❤
Thank you so much 🫶🏿
Khadija ate some of y'all up in this and YOU NEEDED IT
KHADIJA 😭 Opening that comment section felt like wandering into twitter, I am so glad you called out those comments? Like every single day you earn more of my respect for your level-headed, thorough perspective on the world and I wish I could send you flowers.
God, powerful video. I love your channel but I haven't watched it in a while and this video made me really reflect on why. I've been grasping harder and harder to escapism lately cause of personal struggles and have lost focus on who I really want to be in life which is someone who grows. My distress tolerance has weakened the most it has in a while. I think especially with online and younger generations, I'm constantly surrounded by ppl who would rather seem morally correct than be open minded and I've adapted a bit of that myself. I think it is a very challenging, intimidating, and sometimes tiring experience, being open minded, but it is also rewarding and what I want to experience, witness, and cause out of life and this video reminded me of that. I mean even how I conduct my day, how I'm trying to pick my college to attend in the fall, are all rooted in staying in a safe space that's not really safe, its just a circle jerk to enable the stunting of my own mental, spiritual, and emotional growth. I'm gonna sit outside a bit today, practice languages like I love to do because I love it and it challenges my brain, do things I need to do not always want to, and really hear what my siblings and mom are saying to me when a part of the conversation makes me uncomfortable rather than reacting and shutting down based off of those knee jerk reactions. Not that I was one of those commenters, I didn't even know that jubilee video happened but I really really needed to hear the otherside of it where the receiver is open minded. I think we as a people are at this stalemate of lack of compassion, open mindedness, and unwillingness acknowledge the way others operate differently and its people like you that help bridge that gap and plant that seed. Thank you and have a great rest of your day
Thank youuuu for this comment I deeply resonate with you and I’m so glad you could put into words what you’ve been feeling cs same 😩hope you’re forever growing 🙏🏽
I think this video makes a lot of really, really good points; but I do think the response to the criticism was a lot more defensive than open-minded. I have a lot of respect for you - or I guess, (because I don't know you) I have so much respect for your online persona. I missed the jubilee thing at the time, but people were maybe disappointed in your online persona (which they do know), and their concern was that by participating with Jubilee you were tacitly supporting them and adding credibility with your good name. I don't mean to disrespect you, I just feel like you usually present a more compassionate and thoughtful vibe. A lot of the points in this video were still so good though, they had me having my normal mid-Khadija epiphanies ♥️ I can't imagine it's easy to take on so many criticisms at once, you have my sympathy.
Damnnn she dropped the T to her own audience. Love it 😂
If I wasn't following from before I sure as hell would now hahaah
So for the video itself, I didn’t like how people were defending Greg who agreed that he thinks gay marriage is sinful. Shows me how homophobia, ecen from the mouths of queer people, is normalized. People forget that those beliefs have led to our literal oppression. 🙃
Queer christians operate on a level of cognitive dissonance i cannot even comprehend it's baffling. I cant say im surprised though its incredibly hard to criticize religions because people will jump on you and cry oppression.
I see that a lot of religious people can respect a queer religious person more when they see themselves and gay marriage as sinful. I guess they see it as “at least you know your wrong.” But I do agree it feels like he has internalized homophobia that deep down he sees being queer as wrong and feels he should limit himself because of his faith. It’s normalized because it’s religion. That way of thinking is why it took so long for gay marriage to be legalized and for you just have basic human rights and be treated and seen as equal as heterosexual couples. It sucks but that’s what religion does to people.
@pierremiles Thank you! Like I understand he has religious trauma, but his beliefs are still just as harmful as a non-queer religious person's homophobic beliefs. I think people got tricked by his lighthearted tone.
Lol I came here for the behind the scenes of the jubilee video ☕️ but got so much more. Great messages 😊
Khadija, I wholeheartedly agree with everything that you said. I actually had a conversation abt this very topic w my best friend a few days ago. I think the larger issue here is activism in the last few years. In my eyes, activism and fights for social change have taken a very toxic and unproductive turn. We have been taught via social media to view anyone who has a different POV or makes mistakes as a villain. We see them as public enemy number 1. And while that is so incredibly understandable and difficult to maneuver, I question its effectiveness. Equity and structural change come from pulling people in and understanding rather than pushing people away bc we simply disagree.
I'm so glad people are talking about this more. I went through DBT and it made me realise how important distress rolerance is and how bad almost everyone is at it lol. The internet has made it harder, but we can work around and resist it more if we're more aware/mindful of it and willing to change and take responsibility for our actions 🤷🏻♀️
I just saw a teeny tiny bit of the conversation and usual, Khadija was just absolutely funny, fabulous and a comforting presence.
Also, I need the 411 on Greg who was seated next to you lol
Which side? We had to change seating a few times lol
@@KhadijaMbowe IT WAS GREG
15:40 onwards just hits so well. I've often gone into conversations with the unstated assumption "I'm correct, and it's my job as a correct person to fix your view." That can come from so many places, and it's hard to challenge that assumption when it's so baked into our interactions. Taking the step back to ask why is a good step and one I hope I can do more often
I didn't know abt the jubilee vid so the assumptions are very wild to me
The fact that people are using buzzword terms like "purity test" to go after those critical of the jubilee appearance should raise some alarms for those who want to acknowledge the political implications of this discourse.
In this video Khadja actually states that it's okay for people to feel that way and be critical and I want to be clear in my position of not caring personally about what people on RUclips are doing on other parts of RUclips. It's not really worth my time to care.
What is worth my time is seeing and outlining a tendency towards prejudicial framing of critique consistent with a historic conformity to status quo positions.
I didn't get to see comments beyond the examples given in the video and so if there are more aggressive examples I am not privy to I think they would have done better to show these. I just don't view these criticisms to be particularly strong or challenging and there is a lot being projected onto them in the process of interpreting them.
For example a claim is made that the statement "I'm disappointed in you" is one of over familiarity and a declaration of knowledge about the character of the subject. This is of course a false claim. It could be described as proof of an unearned expectation but you would still not know if that is a truly held expectation or just a hope lightly held. To demonstrate proof of this I will state that "I was disappointed it rained today." I'm not claiming to have intricate knowledge of the weather. I'm not placing an expectation for each day to be sunny. You don't know if this is a small thing to me or the worst thing that has ever happened to me. All you know is that part of me wishes not to face the rain.
Meanwhile hypocritically a lot of statements of impossible knowledge are being placed upon the critics. Repeated claims of knowledge about how those critics feel, how strongly they feel it, how that feeling is preventing them from being logical, what the correct response to that feeling should be. etc.
The statement "I don't like that you did this because I think it contributes to something that does more harm than good." (Which is the vibe I'm getting from the criticism) This is not an emotional statement. It is a statement based entirely on a perceived praxis. Telling people that they are having a knee jerk emotional reaction when they are presenting an idea based on praxis is a known way of delegitimising discerning opinion. We have seen it again and again with every historic movement there has ever been. Dismiss the descent by framing it as an illogical emotional outburst rather than a valid critique. I want to reiterate at this point that I don't agree with the statement I'm defending here. I don't personally think that there is much significance at all to a RUclips video. I'm opposed to the misrepresentation of that statement.
If you really want people to be open minded then why not start with those people? Why do people assume that open mindedness is something radical progressives lack and that is resolved by listening to the far right? The thing that you could be wrong about is the ethical implications of being on some dumb RUclips channel. Why is it easier to be open minded to anti-autonomy arguments (an example given in the video) than anti-jubilee arguments.
Another thing is that you made an unfair comparison between the largest and uniquely viable video sharing platform in the world and a specific small channel. There is a difference between using a service that does harm or good and there aren't viable alternatives Vs a specific action that does harm and good but there was a choice to limit that impact then these are not the same thing. Buying clothes almost always has some negative impact on the world currently. It can still be advantageous to buy clothes. Choosing a specific bad company know for the worst impact and purchasing massive amounts of harmful products stops just being about the calculated advantages of buying clothes. As I've already stated multiple times I don't believe that you caused harm by being on that RUclips channel but I hope this example demonstrates the possibility to disagree with a RUclips channel whilst still using RUclips as a wider platform. The reasoning you used reminds me of the whole "if capitalism is so bad why do you own a laptop" argument and I'm hoping people know well enough that is a bad argument.
So yeah even though I don't agree with them your arguments still seem not good here which makes me think that the issue with your critics isn't a lack of an open mind. I don't know how much more of an open mind I can offer you than essentially agreeing with your decision to go on the show. And yet I am not convinced by your framing and arguments.
Idk maybe I'm just not getting something.
This makes sense to me. I did see a few unnecessary mean comments but a lot of people that disagree make great points. I am tired of reading "knee jerk reaction", "parasocial relationship" & "delusional" to describe any critique of Jubilee and how it benefits the right mostly- like they can at least give it some thought. I'm not disappointed in Khadija. I just find people's reactions interesting. Like, "Why do people assume that open mindedness is something radical progressives lack and that is resolved by listening to the far right?" makes me think because I do see this implied a lot. It's not just not listening to "people(or yt channels) you don't like" if they don't like that I or others exist and deserve human rights.
I remember watching Jubilee years and I cannot go back to it. It gives me too much negative energy.
Khadija, I see you out here teaching us DBT skills 💜💜💜
BECAUSE YOU KNOW!!! Lol
All this! 🖤 I'm personally not in the emotional space to watch a Jubilee video but reading your post I had faith that everything that needed to be said was said. Much love Khadija and thank you for putting in the work
I feel like asking to be treated respectfully should not be equated with respectability politics. Not engaging in respectability doesn't mean you demand people listen to you even when you're being a jerk. I'm glad you're standing up for yourself Khadija
Edited to fix a typo
i really appreciate this video. that part about discomfort being something we all have to sit in sometimes and work through really opened my mind to a better version of myself. huge thank you.
I RAN TO THIS VIDEO!!!
Seeing Jubilee gives me that "oh no" feeling. I didn’t watch the vid cuz I know what I'm about already, but I can see how a younger version of me could have watched it. I can always see the benefit of talking with people you don't agree with to hopefully reach someone and inspire betterment.
this reminds me of my perception of chimamanda adichi. shes an author who i really love but she has views on trans rights and feminism that i dont agree with and although shes very smart and i agree with alot of her views i had to realise that everything she stood for didnt align with me personally.
Yeah, your faves will be problematic.
And that line of thinking is just common among Nigerians in general.
Tbh that’s common among a lot of non-western feminists and it’s something I never see discussed in feminist spaces.
I think the “working another muscle” part was well said. I feel the same way, but was not able to articulate it. Thank you!
My problem with Jubilee came from watching one of their videos that I think was pro vs anti trans. I don’t remember the specific episode but what really got under my skin was that the anti side literally started lying. They were spreading dangerous misinformation and the pro side wasn’t educated enough to rebut those talking points. They ceded the points to the bigots and it gave the impression that the lies were true.
It’s not that I don’t think tough conversations should be online, I think the opposite actually, and your video on the channel was great; but I do think Jubilee should do better to moderate some of their conversations or try to keep an expert in the room especially when some of their conversations are so important politically.
You standing up for yourself in this video is absolutely beautifully well articulated. ❤
The people who made those weird and self conflicted comments about you were embarrassing. I enjoy all of your content. Keep going! ❤
Grateful for you Khadija!
I found you through the jubilee video, and I really enjoyed the energy with which you answered the prompts and talked with the others. Loved what you said about people liking their own perception of us. I'm subscribing :)
I respect you even more for this video. You've always kept it real and been a true bridge for a variety of beliefs and standpoints. Much love for you.
13:50 you describing how you take the best parts of different perspectives to try to make something new and what you feel is best is exactly my outlook as well. You worded that perfectly❤️
I have so much appreciation for you as a person on the internet making content, and this is such an important topic around engaging in conversation with people who have different understandings and opinions...I was just reading a Robin DG Kelley interview about the importance of "thesis, antithesis, and synthesis" and how differing points of view can create new spaces of possibility..it is so valuable to form the muscle of being able and open to these conversations, that is how growth happens. mad respect for you !
Ppl don't want to be agents of change. They just want to name call and argue.
This is one of my favorite videos of Khadija's, and it really encapsulates what is in my opinion, an effective mindset. The only way to get someone to respond empathetically to your argument is to approach them with empathy first. Living in a conservative state, I am constantly encountering people I disagree with. But I have been able to have many intelligent and respectful discussions with these people because when they see me listening and really considering what they say, they are much more inclined to respond with respect as well. Often we still walk away disagreeing and sometimes people respond with hate no matter how you approach them. But my experiences have gotten much better and more productive once I started setting aside a "me vs them" mentality.
So glad you're going to lean in more to the self-growth/spiritual growth topics for us. Even stuff like conflict resolution and how to confront people from a place of compassion and respect for each other is useful. Often times, just having examples presented are enough to empower someone to turn an argument into a conversation, a negative opinion into a thought out critique. 💚💚💚 Love your content, I'm here for the journey!!
You're right on the non judgemental point. Im not as open-minded as i could be, but it's out of a place of fear and betrayal, i guess, im a trans woman in the most comsevative province in canada. Im very judgemental of the people who watched and supported me transition but then now support groups that domt believe i should have rights. I feel like we live in a world where there are only 2 options for people to live by, and that's not true, but that's how we live. Im literally just scared of losing my rights and medications. While i do believe everyone can speak on what they want, hatred is also spread this way. Basically, what im saying is i think most people are very frightened at the moment and why most of us jump to far one way or the other. I just dont want human rights to not be political and for people like me to just be left alone.
nuanced conversations for the win! ❤ thank you for serving as a bridge for so many we need more of those
you always seem to articulate what I can’t put into words, thank you Khadija
I think you have such a beautiful perspective in love, life and connection. Over and over again I see that THE most important thing in oir existence is CONNECTION and I see that you hold it as a priority, in whatever way that manifests for you and I apreciate that, you are wonderful ❤
This was great. And loved hearing your thoughts, opinions, and feelings.
Khadija plz makes a 3hr video!
I appreaciated the transparency and honesty. I liked seeing someone go through their thought in real time.
You're truly one of my favorite creators and your approach is so wonderful and necessary.
This video is so refreshing, so many people don't realize that it's so easy to get caught up in an echo chamber of people with the same or very similar opinions on the internet. It's kind of a comfort that creates a toxic environment that is supposed to be "open-minded" or the "correct opinion" when the reality is people have dimensions and depending on their life experiences will form opinions that don't always align with what is considered inclusive or a progressive mindset. To say you are disappointed in someone, especially someone you don't know personally because they move differently or have a differing opinion from yours is very close-minded and is almost the opposite of what they think they are representing.
honestly i had no idea that you were in a jubilee video. i really admire how you are able to have productive conversations with people who disagree with you and that’s something that i wish i was better at doing
you are so articulate, everytime i watch you i feel like i learn so much. thank you khadija
And with that, I will enjoy your videos even more. This context is so important to how people engage. I’ve been trying to find the words for the phenomenon of people not being able to sit in discomfort, and the closest I’ve come to is “resilience@ in my own friendships and life, and this is SO helpful