How To Get Your Shoes Shiny - James May's Man Lab
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
- Grubby shoes? Then you are not a man. But don't fear, we've flown in Platoon Sgt. Mark Buckingham to set the bar for shiny shoes. So shiny he can see the queens face in them.
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the sarge must polish a lot, his right arm is way bigger than his left.
sarnt not sarge
+Jack Parfitt I'm an American
oh sorry my mistake
not a mistake, just a cultural difference. :). I did learn that you Brits abbreviate it as sarnt, so thank you that's cool.
ok I understand
Could watch May wittering on all day 👍🏼
James May polishing his boots is more entertaining than every current episode of Top Gear.
James, when are you going to show us how to make a sturdy fleshlight?
Alright u snipers just look for shiny polished boots in the dark no probs sarge got it
"cause your weak" Bahahahah i love british humor
What's british about insults? Have ever watched an American army film? They're always saying that sort of stuff.
A. Tee It's saying it in a sarcastic funny way.
Wouldn't really say this is a good example of our humour to be honest. This guy is just trying overly hard to act the hard man.
There's a curtain dry sarcasm that goes with the delivery. Americans have a version of it but it's different it's more direct.
I love the way he's such a dick to James but in a semi jokey way it's so funny
Still better than new Top Gear!
So true!
I'm glad they revived themselves with grand tour
I agree 100%
I can watch a 10 minute video of James preparing and eating a cheese without commentary than *that* tbh
to be honest thays a low bar to clear. though this is still quality entertainment
Holy shit thoese boots were the shiniest shoes ive ever fucking seen
They were boots; not shoes.
cml1401 Have a cry, he said boots.
It takes at least a week of hard gruesome polishing and brushing and rubbing to make that happen
"the other brush, James" :))))
"Because you're weak." Epic!
Gotta love the beret reshape immediately after everyone had the awkward laugh.
Do not be weak. This is important.
“Did you think after 10 years in the army I wouldn’t notice...?” lol
2:07 'too small and you'll be there all week, too big and you won't achieve the desired affect'.. got it.
0:29 Oh hey, my shoes are as shiny as that. If that's the standard, I'm not doing too badly...
0:36 oh
Polish on polish off slightly damp cloth over finger small circles (but not too small). OK got it.
@Alexander Challis my boots were covered in rough pimply leather as i would describe them, 17 metal studs in the sole and metal curved plate at the front under the toe, horse shoe shape under the heel, studs were counted every working parade. the leather was smoothed out using a hot spoon or the naked flame of a candle the it was spit and polish and water bulling under a running tap. were shinier than patent leather. welts and the instep highly polished. 2 pairs of boots best and working, working heels and toes bulled to the same standard. then Boots DMS came in lol, not as good a sounds for marching as the old leather boots but more comfy to wear.
I love the banter from the Sergeant. :) I grew up around squaddies... the humour is the same no matter what regiment you're in.
Doesn't much matter what army, either! (11yrs US Army)
When I was stationed at RAF Cranwell I was on permanent Honour Guard, being six feet tall, the same as all the others. We were parading as usual at the same time as some officer cadets. Their drill instructor, Queen's Colour Squadron, halted the cadets and turned to one who had screwed up a drill movement. The DI turned round to the cadet and shouted at him, "This course, sir, is designed to separate the men from the boys. You, sir, will not qualify as a bloody foetus." Classis DI humour.
True, about the humour. In fact, the worst thing you can do, in an army, is to have sense of humour failure.
I.e. no longer being able to see the funny side of things, because of how dire you perceive your situation to be.
Counterintuitive, but case studies reveal, time and time again, anything which diminishes initiative (like truly believing you're completely ed) disproportionally disavantages individual units, regardless of the realities of the situation.
Often the reality of the situation is that, if you're not dead yet, you've got more than a fighting chance to get out alive, unless you simply keel over.
@@JVerschueren wow you need help with your grammar mate
Good job I only suck at my 3rd language and don't need help surviving a combat situation,@@philiprj1983.
Clarkson and Hamster must love that sergeant. Putting Mr. OCD in his place lol
Maybe that's why he became so OCD
My Dad was taught this when he did his national service and it's how I still polish my shoes today. Very effective, makes your shoes wonderfully waterproof and they last for years.
sometimes i think James May is actually immortal. He just ages and ages
I love Platoon Sergeant Mark Buckingham, and I've only known he exists for 3 minutes and 35 seconds. It was blokes like 'im what built the British empire, it was. Tough as nails, no nonsense, built like a brick shithouse, and bleedin' heck, shiny parade ground boots. HRH would be proud yes she would.
HRH or HMTQ?
what a BS :)))))
I like how the background music is Stars and Stripes, U.S.A's national march, while this is a British show with a British soldier.
A lot of the music is the same in both countries. What you will find is the words are different. There’s quite few songs like that. Check out the national anthems of both countries as a good example.
Written by john phillip Sousa. Sousa was the band leader for the United States Marine Corps band. Sousa wrote many marching songs still used today in sport and the military across the globe. In fact his composition the liberty bell is the theme for Monty Pythons flying circus.
You can cheat by layering on the polish then use a lighter to burn it off then use a wet cloth to buff it. Looks like you spent hours polishing your boots when the reality is you spent 30 minutes and will pass inspection. Just don't let your sergeant see you doing it.
@Lodogg 3323 or Klear
I had a mate who tried that, they were like glass, but the first time he wore them the polish came off in large flakes, leaving a nice dull surface except for the toe caps.
When I was in the US Army in the 80's, we were still wearing black books day-to-day. Spit-shined was the standard. I can't think of how many hours I've spent with a lap full of leather and Kiwi polish.
PRO TIP: keep a pair of buggered up work boots in your vehicle or motor pool so you don't geek up the nice pair. By 'buggered up' I mean stained and scuffed and won't take a shine anymore, NOT dried and cracked or acid pitted. There is a difference between 'serviceable' and 'inspection-ready'.
Carl Hicks Jr Funny, Carl, I was in the Australiam army reserves back in the mid ‘70s. I found that a ten-day exercise out in the field did wonders for the polishability of my boots. Funny how Kiwi is the favored polish of grunts everywhere.
It has to be KIWI,cherrie blossom won't work.
This chap is standard-issue, British Army SNCO - Eternal Quality :)
Very good and hilarious to see James being given grief for his slovenly work practices. At school, aged thirteen in 1974, I was taught to use polish using the on and off brushes but we never got them to the ultimate shine demonstrated by the beautiful Buckingham palace shiny state.
Now, aged 60 I only clean shoes with a stiff brush to remove any dried mud and then I cover the leather surface with dubbin and leave it to soak in for as long as possible before brushing it in to get a slightly shiny look, it's all about feeding the leather to stop it drying out.
Completely different technique - brushes are ok for surface sheen, but you'll never get that 'parade' shine without putting the work in with your soft-cloth of choice and thousands of tiny circular applications of polish
I’m so going to use the ‘because you’re weak’ line in my day yo day conversation 😂
Thanks, I'm laughing AND learn how to shine my boots!!!
Use cotton balls dampened with water. And buff with a pair of nylon stockings. You can also do a water shine by holding the shoe under a stream of cold water and polish with cotton balls. And if all else fails - hair spray. And when your spouse finds out you have been using her nylons and hair spray - put on your shoes and leave town.
Remember my army boots. Could have used it as a mirror for shaving.
i prefer a razor
The PWRR. Such a shame so many of the older regiments and Corps ended up being disbanded or merged.
Damn you Options For Change
They were only formed in 92
PWRR still exist
0:11 so stand by to stand by. A super funny shoe joke by james may
So Rebecca did not own a pair of shiny Kinky boots? Well she does now 😉
Too right
To go in James' dungeon with his carbon fibre shoehorn.
I can't believe May demoted a sergeant major
Don't ever do what they are doing to a nice pair of shoes. Build up of wax will ruin the expensive leather you paid for. Use a shoe cream and 'some' wax. You can still build up on the hard bits like a toe cap and heal.
Really enjoy watching this,not only to pickup hints on polishing,but when he is told ( because your weak ) best laugh !!!!!
This Sergeant must need to polish his boots daily, because that water shine ain't gonna last a couple hours, much less a few days. The shine comes from applying friction to the wax. Take the brush you're "removing" the wax with and use it swiftly. Light pressure, with lots of speed, and the resulting friction will heat the wax, producing a shine that will last 3-5 days depending on how much you abuse your shoes.
this is bulling not shining.....big difference
In Germany the socalled 'Wanker' is pronounced 'Wichser'. The original meaning of 'wichsen' is 'to polish', whilst 'Wichse' means the polish itself, the blacking. As you can see with Marks arm, that seems to make a whole lot of sence.
Greetings from the beloved neighbours
....this channel is called Man Lab, so this information is not so unfitting
Yeah but Team in German - Is Mannschaft...which basically means Penis in English.
That guy.... wow
Now go get your shinebox.
Like mirrors
Pretty sure he got the regiment wrong , its not the Prince of Wales Royal Regiment ..... It's the Princesses
Because You are weak ....Epic ....I was Black Boot Army 75-79 the recruits today with the rough out brown boots will never know the struggle
0:06 why is there a ganesh in the background?
We filmed in a warehouse. It was too big to move
Just like his Rolls Royce:
*_"LORD GANESH, MAKE MY CLIMB AUSPICIOUS"_*
ruclips.net/video/caDuxElh2l0/видео.html
Sgt. Mark Buckingham is the Gordon Ramsay of Boot polishing! 😅
"He can see the Queen of England's face in them." That's very clever of him, since the last Queen of England died in 1714!
How to make your quality leather boots look like cheap PVC. Perfect for 'fetish night'.
Ah, this brings back memories to when I joined the RAF fresh out of school aged 15 years in Sept 1961, to become a Boy Entrant (now abolished), and spent the first 6 months of 18 months of my 12 years service in Nissan huts learning how to 'bull' my boots, learn to sew, and iron shirts and my uniform, and how to make beds, which would be inspected weekly, and if the DI (drill instructor) said you bed is crap, he would throw the lot on the floor,, and the contents of your bedside locker if that was not correct either............looking back, happy days, and no mummy to help me either...:)
Then after that we moved into a brick build building into 30 man rooms. With radiators it was a damn sight warmer in winter, that the coal stove in the middle of the Nissan hut.
Our boots came with sort of 'dimples' in the leather, which we would use a hot iron to get rid of them, and also set fire to the leather a bit. Then came the laborious task of slowing building up the layers of black polish, with brushes and damp rags, and finger polishing as shown, until sometime later our boots were as shiny as the one the Sarge did.
It was laborious work, but a great sense of achievement when finished, and of course the restoration work after they have been marched in, gaining some scuffs...........horror!
Once we had done our 18 months training, which involved shooting .303 rifles on the 25 yard range.....great fun when you are 16 years or so......and then into the real RAF for my first posting.
"Cos you're weak" HAHAHAHAHahahahaha. Poor James 😆😍
Three and a half minutes of this , priceless , The new Top Gear, is it still on !?
Bull shit 1 his boots have been double soled 2 he has used bee's wax and burned it into the boot and then about 3 months of bulling or padding, should have used someone from the Household Regiment...
Yes but you dont do that everytime you polish the boots, when you first get issued your boots you have to "bull" them, thats when they use the sand sock and the bees wax, you then build up around 30 layers of polish and begin the shining process.
I found the quickest way to get a shine is spread some Kiwi on the toe then burn it with a lighter before polishing the extra layers on, but the shine did end up more prone to cracking.
James is a soy beta chap.
What happened to Rebecca?
wow... some terrible advice here... way to much hard wax polish going on. It'll cake, crack and dry out the leather. Small tiny layers slowly built up on the non moving parts of the shoe only... other areas should be shoe cream only, or conditioners. Not hard wax
And don't ever spray paint the toecaps whatever you do..........
Broke major rule, beret off indoors.
I dont know about the UK, but in Norway its a different rule if the ceiling is high enough you are allowed to use it indoors, usually isnt though,
Wrong. There is a difference between you may and you have to. Sgt Buckingham was clearly on a public relations operation here on behalf of his regiment and it was proper for him to have his lid on and showing his regimental cap badge. Suffix to say he is technically on duty being on camera and all duty staff should have their lids on. Do staff instructors inspect their recruits inside a barrack with or without their headdresses? Think about it. Find the video on RUclips where the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards receiving the Brits Award. In that video the Major, the Piper, and the Drummer all had their headdresses on as they received the award INDOOR.
Squaddie was brilliant, loved it.
We used to put the base wax on first and then use a lighter to melt it into the pores of the leather. Speeds up the process a bit, but otherwise the same with small amounts of polish on a 100% cotton damp t-shirt in small circles until mirror finish.
That method you usually need to be careful, cracks pretty easy if you give it too much in my experience
James you did ok the sarg boots were not up to my standard he wold be on show parades his ammo boots were scraped on the welts and part of the toe naaaa shxxe order
Indeed It was the discoloration around the welts that concerned me. Its a little disturbing that a professional soldier would consider those boots polished.
This brings back memories of being in the cadets. I hated polishing! I hated cadets! Glad I left lol
Get this dude in schools teaching kids...
James as always a legend but sgt needs to show the kids to get it done... no dramas.. crack on..
I wonder how the Sergeant is now.
“Cause your weak” LOL
3:02 'Cause you're weak. ' Best come back ever.
0:18 Princess of Wales's Royal Regiment you muppet not Prince of Wales
The 'Prince of Wales Royal Regiment'? Who checked his script before airing this? It's the 'Princess of Wales Royal Regiment'
Stars and Stripes Forever (US composed by John Sousa during the 1800's) on a British show? wtf
That's sad to hear, Liz.
QE II - you may recall that every episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus opened with a nice rendition of Sousa's Liberty Bell March. That would be nearly fifty years ago.......
Anybody else hear him say Prince of Wales instead of Princess of Wales?
Andrew Norris-Wagstaff what do you mean? Prince of Wales is right. The current Prince of Wales is Prince Charles.
He says Prince of Wales' Regiment. To my knowledge there is no Prince of Wales' regiment. The Sergeant is wearing the cap badge of the PRINCESS of Wales' Royal Regiment.
Andrew Norris-Wagstaff Doesn’t matter, the PWRR will disappear soon enough into the corps of infantry.....
You're getting confused. There is the Princess of Wales Own Regiment which is a primary reserve of the Canadian Forces. AND, to which he was referring in the video, there is the Prince of Wales Own Regiment, (Yorkshire, UK). I know, I'm from Yorkshire and there as sure as hell IS a Princes Own Regiment. Proudest regiment there is.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Princess_of_Wales%27_Own_Regiment
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_of_Wales%27s_Own_Regiment_of_Yorkshire
While the Canadian forces has an honorific title, the Yorkshire regiment is in fact owned by the Prince himself. The current prince that is. The Princess of Wales doesn't refer to Diana either; the Princess of Wales to which the Canadian regiment draws is name is Alexandra of Demark who married George the VII back in 1863 so the Princess of Wales was named after a long dead princess and the Prince of Wales is named after the current Prince of Wales (Charles).
Two entirely different nations today I might add.
If its not raining or wet, Use SEAL floor polish, Works in 5 mins. Used to use a lot, But got buggered one day on the square. it rained Bummer.
The captions are priceless!!! "Boots" is written "boobs" -- where do I buy boob-polish?
the sergeant can polish my boots anytime:-)
You don't polish a dirty car so why are you polishing dirty boots?
PRINCESS OF WALES' ROYAL REGIMENT. Not Prince of Wales'.
The sergeant just man handled James.
''The prince of wales regiment'' I think you mean the princess of wales royal regiment James :D
should have had a guards division sergeant doing it .best boots in army . ex welsh guards lol.
phil driver I’ve always wondered the same thing why use pwrr to demo what we do.
Or if you want it done properly, get the QCS. 😜
apa cuman gue yg ngerasa, kalo corak loreng kamuflaenya hampir sama dengan lorengnya pdl TNI??..
Should have got a Guardsman
Guardsman are great at shining boots.......just have a few problems with soldiering.....aka Scots Guards in the Falklands.....too fat to fight!!
Why you didnt use any of the Guards regts baffles me
Lil bit of banter here :P He may have shiny boots and walk with swagger............Top left shirt button :)
GlobbitsGaming STAND STILL 👍🏻
What shoeshine box is that yellow and blue case? Perfect for travel I'd like to pick one up.
No such title as the Queen of England.Please correct your mistake.😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
0:23 - Royal Army. Why are you playing 'The Stars And Stripes Forever'?
Because they're weak.
"Because you're weak" Genuis! I coughed my spleen out laughing.
Pretty great video, greatest ending.
10 years in the army? Red arsed sprog. I spent longer in the NAAFI queue.
Good way to fuck up your boots guys! Don't do this! This does nothing to condition or protect the leather!! Don't put wax on good leather! As a cobbler with 5+ year experience I know a thing or too.
Because you're weak.
That line hits harder if you've served or are serving.
Polish them Royal Marine style with dark Jacobean varnish. Real soldiers don’t have 10 hours to polish boots.
In my day it was rumoured to be something called straw ack dye, but TBH I never saw any and I hadn't a clue what it was, it was years before I realised it was straw HAT dye, Duh!
Fuck the shine ( ok for parade)..but neatsfoot oil is what you need for longevity .
so literally just start with clean shoes
polish on with a brush
polish off with a different brush
then get a damp cloth, dab in polish & make small circles
???
>profit
Repeat circles for fucking ages.
Accidentally scuff boot while walking along.
Cry.
Lucky May is a celebrity because he’s no good for anything else.
His regiment doesn’t guard the royal palaces my regiment does 😡
Really bad idea if you polish them then you have to keep polishing them
Cos you’re weak 🥲😂
“Cos you’re weak.” At which point that kid gets a bunch of fives in his chops.
Good imagination you have, that ain't no kid that's a soldier.
Couple of points. One initial shine is not remotely enough, minimum of 10. Next put nylon stocking around finger and polish. For regular dress shoes, you can stop. For parade boots, go to wet polishing, genuine cotton wool, not synthetic. Spit or water works. Last polish under a cold running faucet to remove any finger grease. Passing requires Sgt to tell time from his wrist watch in the reflection. 10 hours per boot about right.
А сапожными щетками не пробовали?!
I would love to see these man lab videos specifically for two reasons
1. Its absolutely awesome.
2. Would love to see feminists get triggered
Please stop living in 2014
I was wondering what is the chance of this being made today.
The BBC now puts other races in period shows because of diversity.
They advertise for jobs only available for certain races or sexes because they are allowed to bypass laws protecting against that.
This would now be protested just for it's name and probably would never leave the drawing board.
Wasn't their a story a while ago about them having their own version of the test(Swedish test) were every show must have two or more women not talking about a man for so many minutes per episode.
This would fail just for that.
10 years in the army novice
"...cause you're weak"....HAAAAA
'Cause yer weak' oh damn thats so army
I appreciate the "Stars and Stripes forever" being used as the military music.
“Because your weak” LoL