I love how AITA posts are like "AITA? I asked my wife a question..." and it turns out the guy is a sociopath bent on humiliating her in front of her entire family
Vs the AITA “something that makes me sound like the biggest fucking asshole ever” and then in the post it veers so hard and there’s no way in hell they’re the asshole.
Mfs like "AITA for having emotions ? So basically my wife told me to do the dishes while I was watching soccer with my friends and I got a bit mad, now she's in the hospital and she wants to press charges. I feel like she doesn't take into account how she's the one who made me angry tho, that's f'd up right??" And you'll have at least a third of the people saying "both at fault honestly"
@@user-ey8nn1mz8iistg reddit used to be a place for advice, and now even on non-relationship related topics people give the worst advice ever/say something completely useless/are pointlessly mean.
The psychology behind it, someone who knows they did bad and are looking for validation are likely going to downplay what they did wrong, whereas someone who genuinely feels guilty will be upfront with their problems and mistakes
@@friendlypolytheist1201 FOR REAL, theyre always like "AITA? I destroyed a 5 year old's lemonade stand whose profits were going to charity... I know this sounds bad but hear me out...."
re: grudges - something I heard awhile ago that stayed with me was, "Time is not an apology." It is really really irritating when someone hurts you, doesn't apologize or make amends, then acts like you're the weirdo for still being upset. Like, yes, you hurt me, didn't do anything to make it better, and expected that the passage of time was going to do the work for you...That's not how it works for a lot of people/situations.
We should take out adspace on the moon and let this be the only ad. The amount of people who think they can wrong others and that they'll literally forget and forgive is maddening, I think people need to be reminded that's not how it works
Theres 3 AITA story styles 1. "I cured cancer prostate cancer, but not ovarian cancer AITA? " 2. "I set my best friends house on fire because he called me a sore loser when I flipped the board after losing at monopoly. AITA?" 3. "AITA for giving my friend a compliment?" Then, in the comments, they reveal that the compliment was "You look so good today! Normally, you look like a bridge troll, but today I'm not embarrassed to be seen with you in public :)"
Hahaha literally. I see so many of type 3: "I gave my best friend valuable relationship advice, AITA?" And then when they're pressed the "valuable advice" was that they called their best friend an unlovable toxic jerk who deserved to rot alone forever... and they said it in front of the entire friend group at lunch.... and they reveal that they happen to be dating their friend's ex at the same lunch... something foul like that.
There's also the: "AITA for [obviously fake story]?" So I went to my friend's wedding and she insisted that I should have worn heels rather than flats but I never learned to balance in heels so when I put them on I fell, shattering both ankles and having to have a double foot amputation. The wedding was moved to my hospital room and when I woke up I said to her "I hope you don't mind but I had the doctors remove my heels" and showed her my stumps and she screamed about how I ruined her special day but everyone else clapped and also Einstein was there and gave me a handshake and a nobel prize in puns, but her husband told me she has a severe pun allergy and now I feel bad AITA?
Can confirm about the maid-of-honor thing. I was asked to be a childhood friend's maid of honor. I had to pay for my dress, shoes, getting my hair done. She had FIVE wedding showers. I was expected to be at all of them and to bring a present to each of them. I spent a fortune. The rehearsal dinner was paid for by her...and she got pizza. The entire wedding party was so done with it by that point. When the actual wedding reception took place, we did all the toasts and dances, then stole a crate of champagne and partied at the best man's apartment. I definitely felt like an a**hole, but I don't really have any regrets.
Reddit AITA will be like “my husband burned our house down, robbed me and my family of everything we have, and kicked my dog because I said I didn’t like the color purple. Am I wrong?”
Don’t forget the ending paragraph with some phrase like “if I’m being honest he’s been under a lot of stress at work, and I know the color purple means a lot to him, so maybe I’m just overreacting about my dislike of purple, but then his family started texting me death threats and now I’m unsure. AITA?”
i think a good portion of these people recognize they should leave their relationships but are still kind of in denial, either from normalizing the toxic behavior or being gaslighted, so they seek out validation. and then of course there are a plethora of those where it is entirely made up and basically undermines people who have actually experienced these types of situations.
It's normal and understandable. Usually the person asking has been told they're the one who's in the wrong and manipulated to believe they somehow deserve the abuse. They just need validation. I know you're making a joke but it's actually kinda awful to be in a toxic relationship long enough that you start to feel like you're just a piece of shit and that's why you're constantly being treated LIKE shit. You do start to think you're insane. It's not the right place to go but I don't blame them, either.
My parents used to yell at me for having a gameboy at the table when they're eating with other adults or reading newspaper because it's "disrespectful" and "kids these days". Nobody talked to me and all I did was eat to fill my time, it actually caused me some weight problems as a kid. But now they don't even look at me when we eat together because they're on their phone. They still complain about how kids are too addicted to technology ofc. TL;DR: My parents trained me into a not using technology at the dinner table but now all they do is stare at their phones.
It's also ironic they called you rude for playing your gameboy *while they're reading the paper and not even looking at you* It's classic boomer behaviour
my mom and stepdad got married in vegas with just the family, they decided against the elvis last minute and i've really never been more disappointed lol
That's really expensive tho. My partner and I (both atheists) just asked the preacher at a church to do a small 2 person ceremony in their rose garden and it was very cheap.
My uncle did that with his second wife Lisa, she's a really cool person. They're like the stereotypical drunken beer belly bear guy and marathon running super sweet suburban mom of two couple, and I'm very happy for them to be doing as well as they have been
21:52 As someone who recently got married, this is traditionally how the bridesmaid stuff works, but it should NOT be. I let my bridesmaids pick their dresses and got an airbnb for all of us for a sleepover as the bachelorette party. You're asking these people to be bridesmaids because they're the closest people in your life and you love them. You should be treating them and thanking them for being part of your day, not expecting them to pay an arm and a leg for you!
That's so sweet! Personally, I wouldn't mind treating my friends either for their special day, but it's very kind and generous of you to treat your bridal party.
@TwisterTornado They certainly aren't, but we're talking of the modern day. We can literally see different parts of the west with a huge concentration of muz where women wear the niqab and fight teaching about LGBT in schools. Jess Philips in Birmingham encountered counter protests by you know who because of the teaching of LGBTQ in schools. A tory mayor in west Yorkshire had to apologise for raising a LGBT flag because it offended you know who. He resigned.
You should buy a domain for a symbolic divorce website. Anyone can fill out a form and it generates a certificate that says “D’Angelo Wallace has approved your petition and declared you symbolically divorced from XYZ”
@@Window4503 wow you weren't joking 18 Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death 19 is one who deceives their neighbor and says, “I was only joking!”
I 1000% agree that mean people always say they are joking but the friend could've waited to tell the bride the cousin was a dick or go to a different family member to ensue the necessary shaming.
with the whole bridesmaid paying their way thing, i watched a friend go through something similar. she's a college student, working part-time minimum wage and getting an arts degree. her sister, the one who was getting married, is a lawyer for a private law firm who is marrying a doctor. they're absolutely loaded. my friend ended up bringing her bank account to zero on top of having several loans out for school in order to cover the dress, hair/makeup from a pre-appointed artist, the 5 trips through the engagement/wedding process that all involved needing to fly somewhere and take time off, and a $500 wedding gift. and she still got shit for missing the bride's dress fitting because she had finals. america is wild.
I'm American and my family would never do that for any of my family members especially if they were in school we'd be paying for their airfare like my cousins were all like that when they got married I think this is a family thing tbh some people are just weird about it.
It would be much more typical American culturally for the more well off sibling to pay than to force the less well off sibling to go in debt… unless you don’t like your sibling…….
My parents got married in a courthouse by themselves because married student housing was cheaper in college. They have been happily married for 40 years :)
My parents got married as my dad got a job in a band on a cruise ship and could bring a spouse along for free, they were also married for 40 years until my dad passed
9:45 My stalker ex texted me yesterday asking to speak to me and I can’t tell you how comforting this was to hear. It’s very easy to think “maybe they’ve changed” when you don’t have a community around you reminding you that they HAVEN’T if they’re overstepping your boundaries (again!).
knocking people unconscious is not at all like in the movies. if someone is rendered unconscious for more than a few seconds there’s almost certainly something really wrong, such as lack of oxygen to the brain or a TBI, all of which would cause lasting damage brain damage and would definitely require a hospital trip. that story was written by a 15 year old boy who likes action movies
It did say "choked him out" (not knocked him out), which, coupled with the fact the jiu jitsu classes were some time ago, is not actually implausible, given that choking someone out involves - at least partially - cutting off their oxygen supply, & not being a current/well-trained martial artist inceases the likelihood of doing it unsafely & going too far, leading to unconciousness. (It could still be fake, of course, just that that part didn't sound like a dealbreaker to me.)
@@elven_grandma3138? OP covered that with ‘lack of oxygen to the brain.’ If lack of oxygen to the CONTINUES after choking - and they clearly would have tried to wake him up, since they said it was ‘scary’ instead of ‘we let him nap’ - that’s bad.
Brides who make their bridesmaids buy their own dresses are assholes. I bought my bridesmaids comfortable, black, simple dresses from Amazon for $30 each and included them in goody bags. They loved their dresses and one girl even repurposed hers as her church formal.
My bestie had three bridesmaids including me. She brought us all our bridesmaids dresses and shoes. The dresses were 1950s style ones with different floral fabrics, one black, one beige, and one red. The florals all had similar colours so they matched, and she got us mustard coloured cardigans, and converse style trainers. One of the other bridesmaids wanted to wear heels, but when we were all getting ready she put the sneakers on. The cardigans and shoes were cheap, and so were the dresses. But she actually only spent £40 on her wedding dress. It was a beautiful vintage dress. If I got married I would never feel okay asking for money for bridesmaids outfits or anything else. You're my kind of person.
Agree to disagree I had my bridesmaids buy their own dresses for multiple reasons. 1.) I paid for hair make up and all other boarding/activities over the weekend 2.) only 2 lived anywhere near me (had 6 my husband and I had friend who came in from other countries as well) 3.) my only stipulation for dresses was to pick a color out of 10 colors they where given could be any style any price range just was whatever you felt the most comfortable in
I think as long as the bridesmaids are free to pick out the dress they want themselves, I think it's fine. Like the Bride can stipulate it's in a specific color, but then the bridesmaids can pick the style or cut or price etc etc so they go together then it's fine. When the bride is picking out a specific dress that everyone has to purchase, then it's a problem/not fair because not everybody can afford the same dress/price range
I am a married person, and the idea that anyone should be forced or coerced to spend money on YOUR wedding is bonkers. My sisters in law helped us with food and drinks for our wedding out of the goodness of their hearts and I will never forget it or stop telling them how grateful I am. They didn't have to do that.
I mean just have a jack and Jill if needed they’re made for rising money for the wedding if you’re on a budget and you have games and raffles so it not just give me money people attending get something out of it and it’s not an obligation to go or spend if you wanna support you support if you can’t afford to or just don’t want to don’t nothing wrong with it just a persons choice at the end of the day
I'm with you. I feel that if you are asking someone to celebrate an event in your life, you should be happy people took time out of their lives to celebrate your event. Your guests don't owe you anything and if they decide to gift you anything, it's nice. I feel inviting people to celebrate with you, you should be hosting them.
I'm always surprised how different weddings in the US are. Over here the guests, bridesmaids etc don't have to pay for anything. If the bride wants you to wear anything special besides regular formal wear (a certain dress, hairstyle, makeup), she has to provide it. The only thing guests usually pay themselves is a hotel if they live in a different part of the country.
Getting knocked out and losing consciousness for more than 60 seconds is something anyone in a gym or anyone who practiced martial arts, will raise concern over. That's possible brain damage territory.
One thing about fucking up and changing is that when you actually do it and understand the effects of what you've done- you don't feel entitled to forgiveness. You accept the consequences of your actions and you move forward having learned to be better. If people decide to come back into your life and forgive you that's their own decision that you can't control.
True. Especially if they have never apologized for anything, and refuse to do so even now, then how can they in the same breath demand forgiveness lol. Why should I have to be the bigger person but they don’t even want to do any real or sincere effort to be forgiven
@@helixxia9320that’s literally impossible. If someone says that to you again please hit them with “how am I supposed to give you something you haven’t explicitly asked for”? Let them figure it out.
At the same time, constantly reminding someone of their mistakes even after they apologized and changed is emotionally abusive. If you can't forgive someone, that is fine but it's up to you to create distance. (Depending of the severity of what happened)
Re: The wedding party paying for their own dresses and expenses and such: Let me educate you with my degree in Theoretically Accurate Wedding History, which is a real degree that I definitely do have. Or maybe I'm just 35 and have been to a bunch of my friends' weddings both conventional and unconventional. It USED to be the case that the bride/groom's family paid for all expenses of the Wedding Party (the group of people in the wedding, maids/men etc). But due to the desire in the US to prove how rich and awesome we are all the time, weddings became more and more extravagant because they all had to be as fancy and lavish as Queen Victoria, (this is literally why brides wear white dresses) even though many families were actually NOT that wealthy, so they began to ask the wedding party members to pay for their own things to offset costs, with the implication that they could do so because all their friends are clearly as well-off as they are (pretending to be but not really). This then gradually became the cultural norm in North America specifically where the appearance of being wealthy is more important than making wise financial decisions, so in a traditional/conventional US wedding, yes, the party is expected to pay for themselves. A CONSIDERATE bride/groom will make sure to keep costs affordable for everyone in the party, but a lot of brides/grooms aren't considerate. It's stupid and hopefully it'll change. Most of my friends are fucking weirdos (affectionate) and didn't do that at all, one of them had a circus wedding and people showed up wearing crazy vaudeville attire. A lot of rich people can't comprehend that everyone else isn't as rich as they are, especially if they're used to having rich friends, so there's that too.
Thank you for the lesson, Professor of Theoretically Accurate Wedding History. I just wanted to ask if we were going to go over the “Wedding” tax in terms of venues and services and how much more the cost for the same day/time as soon as you say wedding as a capitalist phenomenon before the test next Thursday or if that was going to be included in the midterm?
@@Elirum Well it's far too long of a chapter to get into before Next Thursday, but as a preview so you can do some extra credit before the midterm, The 'Wedding Tax', much like any other capitalist phenomenon that harms consumers, was caused indirectly by Reagan/Friedman-omics. Incidentally the origins of it are intentionally obfuscated behind claims such as 'well services are harder to do/more labor for weddings' but there's enough anecdotal evidence this isn't true when people request something that shouldn't be any different regardless, and also businesses are welcome to charge 'revision fees' rather than an upcharge up front. In the 1890s, anti-trust laws were implemented that were aimed at preventing business collusion, price-fixing, price-gouging, and so on, and this would have definitely kept the wedding industry in check had they been enforced, but 'mysteriously' this enforcement began to erode after the 1980s. Companies lobbying, PR, and media manipulation have all led to the insistence that weddings are not being up-charged, and if they are, it's because it's 'more work', details ignored. This trend of course began with the realization that many weddings are paid for by family members, and that the bride often had a very idealistic and extravagant view of the intended ceremony and therefore would be desperate enough to pay extra to have the best wedding in her circle. Sorry, out of time, class dismissed.
This is one of those things that makes me irrationally angry when it doesn't affect me at all (wedding culture is quite different where I live, I have not been involved in any wedding parties nor am I expecting to be any time soon), I just can't get over how shitty and absurd it is to expect people to pay for a personal event YOU are deciding to put on for YOURSELF
The person who is upset at so-called family members who wouldn't come to her brother's wedding because he's gay is so valid I'm still mad at my aunt and uncle for skipping my brother's wedding because my brother and his wife wanted all the guests to be vaccinated. (I'm mad at her for other things too, bc refusing to get vaccinated is just one of many stupid beliefs that all inform each other like a snake eating its tail)
@56KSCI’m not an anti vaxer but I’m not gunna go get a vaccine as soon as it comes out . Half of people without the Covid vaccine has every other one society seems fit, they just fine this one to have been scary and pushed out fast or whatever the reason… yall just mad haters
@56KSC so every woman who chooses to give birth is anti-abortion? "anti-vaxxer" lol did i ever say "don't get vaccinated"? you didn't think there could be health reasons some people choose not to get vaccinated for? you judgemental dumb fu ck.
I have really conservative family members who wouldn’t attend their son’s wedding because he married a catholic girl and converted to be with her-he converted from Protestantism btw literally the same thing just different font. One of my aunts, who lost her son, told them “at least your son is alive to get married.” They’re all cool with each other now but I cannot think of a pettier reason for skipping out on your own son’s wedding.
I've been in abusive relationships where my sense of reality and my sanity was eroded by the person I loved. You'd be amazed what abusers can do to people given enough time. :(
10:41 I don’t think holding a grudge is inherently bad. Sometimes holding a grudge is a form of self-preservation. It reminds you not to let really hurtful people back into your life, especially if they’ve hurt you repeatedly.
depends on how you define "holding a grudge". Some people see it as bitter resentment that would hurt the person themselves as well, and some people simply see it as not forgiving.
I got told in treatment that holding onto grudges and resentments is similar to drinking poison and waiting for the other person to croak. They probably don’t even remember doing it. Which means they most likely don’t care. Pointless, but it feels SO good.
I've been accused of holding a grudge and the whole "you're only hurting yourself if you don't forgive." In reality I just kept consistent morals and wouldn't allow anyone to beat a positive or neutral image of my abuser into me. Forcing someone to let go of injustice does not make you a better person.
Weddings in the U.S. are unhinged period. I've been a bridesmaid twice, one of which was hell. Dress was expensive. Bachelorette was expensive. Hair/Makeup on my own dime. I regretted saying yes. AND we aren't even friends anymore. Word to the wise: If you've never been a bridesmaid, don't do it if the bride can't pay for all it comes with.
I've been a bridesmaid 4 times now I think? And yes it is REALLY expensive. You do pay for your own bridesmaid dress, and they're at minimum $90-$100 from any retailer I've gone to, plus you will likely need it altered which is another $100+. You also generally split the cost of the bachelorette party with the other attendees, and the bride doesn't pay for that part herself. I just went to a wedding as a bridesmaid this past weekend, and while I was happy to be there to support my friend, it was a 5 hour drive there for me and I needed to spent money on an Airbnb for several days, food for my time staying there, my bridesmaid dress, a gift for the couple, the bachelorette party, getting my hair done with the other bridesmaids, and gas + parking downtown. I'm too scared to count but I wouldn't be surprised if the total ended up being over $2000 for me to be a bridesmaid. There's definitely ways to do it much cheaper, the last wedding I went to before this was a camping wedding in which there was no cost for anybody other than the family paying for the catering and the reservation for the campsite. It ruled lol
The fact that $2000 is a regular expense I've heard is insane. I've been to and in a lot of weddings and sure I have to pay but I didn't have to buy a dress and had friends that understand I don't always have the money to spend on YOUR wedding. That last wedding sound sick and WAY better than what most people do.
Oof. Only once have I been able to save money in the thousands and it was from working 80 hour weeks, which ended up going to a deposit for my bf and I to move in together. I'm just not a banker or travelling nurse, I don't know how people have that much to save from after bills. 😅
The best way to do bridesmaid dresses imo , if the engaged couple don’t pay for them and the fittings, is to just give the group a color/palette to follow and let them find dresses which are within their budget and which might look better on them than the style the bride might have picked
25:47 my husband and I have noticed our parents are WAY more addicted to their phones/being on social media on the computer/tablets than anyone our age. Literally watching videos on their phone at the dinner table at a restaurant, loudly playing videos while the rest of us are trying to talk etc, disturbing not only us bc we cant hear eachother let alone interaxt with them bc theyre on their phones, theyre also disturbing others in the vicinity!! Its crazy! And for a generation who would always say like "Dont believe everything you hear" etc, they believe EVERYTHING they see online. Its sooo bad...
I was a bridesmaid in that type of wedding. It ended our friendship unfortunately - she thought she wasn’t asking too much and thought all of her bridesmaids were just being selfish. The bridesmaids dresses were $400 each, a weekend girls’ trip was over $800, etc., etc.
It is wild to me that at no point while spending time or texting with her potential bridesmaids would it occur to the bride to start putting feelers out, like 'wow what a cool documentary, I'd love to see that place in person!' and open the table to to discussion about how realistic that is for people, whether they're comfortable getting a passport if needed, whether they are saving for having a baby, etc. Like why would someone not want everyone coming out to be happy and not resent you? Wild.
My sister was in debt because of school, so we had to buy our bridesmaid dresses ($100) but we didn't have to pay for anything else. Her mother in law did our hair and makeup We also got to pick our own dress as long as it was blue
I ended up ghosting my friend/cousin after being a bridesmaid at her wedding. She asked waaaay too much of me and never gave anything back. First, yes, my bridesmaid clothes were really expensive and I'm living on disability so that sucked. But what was even worse was her complete lack of a damn that plagued our "friendship" for the year she spent planning the wedding. During that year, I was getting sicker and sicker (diagnosis at that point was CIDP - not a fun time), and for the six months leasing up to the wedding I'd been using a walking stick to get around. Not that she noticed though! Every time I went to her house she'd be sooooo concerned "oh no, what's wrong? You have a walking stick!?". She "found out" I was using a walking stick at least 3-4 times. The day of her wedding, I had to stand 1.5 hours for the ceremony, and then she expected me to hike all over a paddock and through the long grass for 3 more hours for the photos - with nowhere to sit for a break AT ALL! Luckily, one of her friends (a guest I'd never met before) went and got a big heavy timber kitchen chair and followed me around so I could rest! Whoever that woman was is a literal angel! After all that, I ended up walking out to my mum's car, taking painkillers and trying not to cry. My cousin didn't notice I was gone for half an hour. When I got back, they'd opened up the bar, and even though I'm not a drinker usually, I ended up drinking rum+coke all night! My cousin even nagged me to get up and dance at the reception, and I finally got a backbone (thanks rum) and told her there's just no way I was doing that. I ended up spending a week in bed crying in pain from that wedding, and I don't think my cousin even knows why I ghosted her! I'll sit her down one day and have a talk about how she acted like she didn't care about me, but I won't tie it to the wedding because I'M not an AH! Unfortunately, I've gotten even sicker since then (diagnosed with lupus, just had brain surgery 1 month ago), so giving her some closure just isn't something I care to bother with at the moment! Thankyou for listening to my rant 😆 and also, I've never liked my body, but I just found out I have a very pleasingly shaped head - so I guess it all worked out for the best?!
@JesseFred That sounds awful, I would have out my foot/cane down and told them my physical limitations and requirements from the start! But to be fair I've developed a backbone precisely because I've been treated like a doormat growing up and in a lot of jobs so I'm fed up lol. I'm really sorry you had to go through that but I'm glad to hear you're learning to draw lines for people that don't care. A layman might say that she was caught up in wedding planning nerves but the fact that she 'discovered' your situation 3-4 times? Get outa here lady! 😅 I hope you find some peace with telling people where you stand and I hope your body lets you enjoy life in other ways than dancing.
I actually was a mod on that sub for a hot minute, when it was first blowing up. I got kicked out for not being online enough, but later on got a scare when some random person told me I was the "top mod" there and a horrible person and implied that they circulated stuff on discord about me.
Wtf why is reddit so toxïc? Even on the “positive,” subs people are so argumentative, sensitive, and serious. This is why I don’t use that app unless it pops up in a google search. I swear my mental has improved significantly. 😂
@@brookelynnwu8016 Because when some humans think/know they are anonymous they do things they wouldn't dare even consider saying/doing if their identity was known or they were face to face with others.
@@KatyWithAWhyyy I've been on reddit periodically since the early 2010's. It's always been like this. It's like 4chan's little brother but less anonymous. Twitter is basically what 4chan used to be combined in unholy matrimony with old tumblr.
21:36 ive been a bridesmaid four times, a maid of honor and a "best man" and ive never had a bride want to pay for my dress 😂 i dont even speak to most of these people anymore. What a waste of money and energy.
25:32 honestly as a kid nothing pissed me off more than adults telling me to not speak up when someone’s being an asshole or just straight up wrong. i think the kid was right and kicked ass, if real. don’t wanna be embarrassed by a kid? stop being an embarrassment!
10:58 my family being like "I'm not gonna apologize, I'll just pretend I forgot about it which means it never happened and if you're mad you're the weird/aggressive/mean one" is basically my life in a nutshell
ok u gotta love a man who thinks about polly pockets enough that the word gravitational polly pockets comes up in his brain when hes trying to think of something random. truly so girly-girl coded we love you d'angelo
@@lookatdemijiperswhile mania can be productive, they are not the same, even to outsiders, no. Mania can also manifest as anger, anxiety, superioirty complexes, euphroia, general amped mood, etc. Source: I'm bipolar.
@@ProTobigen I'm BP1 too lol mania can be a lot of things, yeah, and productive is definitely one of them. all those other things are "inside" of the person, not always part of the face they show the world. releasing new content every day for a month definitely tracks with a manic episode, especially when it's someone with a history of disappearing from their professional life for months at a time. it's the peak before the valley
9:28 to 11:00 needs to be publicly broadcasted because holy shit so much truth was spoken and so many people need to hear it. apologies should have genuine meaning behind them, and even if they do, they don't need to be accepted. and holding grudges is a good way to protect yourself from future behavior from the same people. this whole part had me yelling "YES! YES!" at my tv screen like i was in church
RE: bridesmaid etiquette, in my wedding and every wedding I've been a part of, bridesmaids get their own dress. BUUUUT, as long as it matched the color palette we could get whatever dress fits our budget + body type. I sent my bridesmaids an anonymous survey before planning the bachelorette to gauge their budgets.
The basement eater could go either way, I think. Saying you "listen" to someone complain about your behavior and describing it as "de-stressing" doesn't give strong "actually listening and willing to work it out" vibes, especially when their example of a random complaint is not treating their partner's things like they matter as much as their own. If the girlfriend really is just berating them to feel better about herself, and the guy literally locks himself in the basement to avoid her, then it sounds like they're both miserable, and he needs to realize that's not normal. The story is written with too little context on who the asshole is, but it does sound like there's no reason for them to stay together if it's true.
i agree w this- i got a red flag seeing the “it seems she destresses by complaining” - i’ve been gaslit w this phrase bc i would express being upset & be comforted/validated w false promises & eventually i’d get riled up again when no change occurred. but it could very well be true too, many people are self victimizing as well … just rly depends more on the context imo. bc a partner leaving a conversation bc im trying to talk abt things not being good can def be hurtful
@@jadziajan What about the part where she apparently wanted to get the door taken off its hinges? Also the "hello, hello, hello, are you listening?" part when he's eating? That doesn't seem like someone who just wants to discuss their day.
I think regardless, the answer is they need to break up. Either she has legitimate problems that he has refused to listen to and she's escalated to more controlling and more manipulative methods to get him to listen, or she's using the excuse of "de-stressing" to justify putting him down and undermining him at a time when she knows he's ill-equipped to address the problems she's bringing up. I lean toward her being the problem because if you are demanding an answer from someone while they are chewing and getting mad when they don't, you're setting them up to fail. And if you threaten to physically alter the property in order to continue setting someone up to fail, then you're not actually trying to solve the problem, you're wanting to maximize the conflict and the suffering. Either way, she is miserable, and he is miserable, and neither of them are apparently doing anything to fix that.
6:21 Nah dude like half my family is just like this to the point that I've had the door situation happen to me before, legit all of them would say he is in the wrong 💀💀💀💀
20:01 not the A-hole, but if he’s you’re partner why wouldn’t you tell him how you feel… sometimes people get caught up in life and don’t realize how they treat people and they just need a reminder
Yeah if the person continues the behavior after you talk to them a couple of times then there's an issue. But everyone has different standards in a relationship so making your needs and expectations clear is vital. People aren't mind readers ya know
she did say how she was feeling. also if it was only 4 months and bf already felt like he didnt have to be nice to his partner and treat her with respect then why bother.
Do you think D'Angelo googles the "I am the professor of..." terms to *actually* make sure they don't exist? Because I feel like we're so close to him saying a degree that's an actual degree, and some PhD somewhere who has that degree will get his video sent by all his family members.
I've seen a couple of 'that sort of exists as a topic/subspecialty' comments. I made a HGttG joke when he mentioned intergalactic gastronomy, but it didn't really land.
I am obsessed with reddit reading podcasts like two hot takes so the minute I saw my professor of holistic software engineering D’Angelo posted an AITA video I broke my thumb with how fast I clicked on it.
@@lucanusafrostyes! I've been binging him for months. Kinda got sick of THT because of a trend of genuinely misandrist comments from the hosts and some guests, culminating in an episode where they victim blamed a male rape victim... mark narrations is so sweet though. Smosh reads reddit is also a winner for the most part with the exception of a few bad episodes
13:10 my mom actually got gay divorced recently and i’m thankful for the divorce equality everyday, thank you for supporting divorce equality D’Angelo!!!
generally speaking, the bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for their own attire, travel expenses, etc. unless the couple offers to pay for it all. it's unfortunate honestly
As someone who was literally JUST a bridesmaid for a wedding on Monday, it is actually normal to pay for your own dress, alterations and the bachelorette trip. Other costs like accessories (jewelry, bags, shoes) and hair or makeup it depends on the couple getting married whether it's covered
In my country we pay for ourselves and any decent person will respect and even expect for everyone to work within their own economy, we all have our own limited resources. Sometimes I know that the bridal party will have a discussion and come to an agreement about budget if the plan is to look similar/cohesive or the same. If that's the case the wedding couple usually step in and help finance the dresses or straight up pay for everyone. It is after all their wish for people to look a certain way and obviously therefore on them to make it possible. Depending on your culture/heritage this can vary but usually we all pay for ourselves unless the couple have a specific wish on dresses. Then it's collectively solved within reason.
First time bridesmaid here - as someone who ALSO didn't know what to do/not to do/buy/not to buy in the current wedding culture, apparently the bride should be expected to pay for the dress if they want a very specific dress. Like for example, if they want all the bridesmaids to match or be in a specific cut/length of dress. Otherwise, you're told a color/theme and expected to pay for it yourself, that way you can buy a dress that fits your budget. But then again, I've also read that it just depends, wedding to wedding. All this to say that weddings and people are complicated and I'm glad that the bride I'm being a bridesmaid for just gave us a color and told us to buy whatever dress we wanted.
I think it also depends at what point in life the couple is at. If they recently graduated college and are in debt vs if they are further into their careers and can afford to pay for everything
Honestly, not really. “Typically”, as in, most commonly, the attire portion of the budget doesn’t include the wedding party. The couple basically chooses whether or not they’re going to budget for the wedding party attire or if they’ll push that cost on the wedding party. We chose to budget for the wedding party attire (dresses and suits). I don’t know anybody else personally who did.
My partner and I got married at a friend’s house by another friend who got ordained for us. It was just the five of us (two friends were witnesses and one the “minister”) and then we signed the paper and played games all night. Best wedding ever imo and it only cost us $25 (price of the marriage certificate lol)
I’m in the middle of working out as I’m listening to this. I was in the middle of a bench press set when I heard “they’ve tried to interrupt my grind, and they could never to be clear” and I started laughing so hard that I couldn’t get the weight up. I literally almost died laughing listening to your video, and if that’s how I go I’m okay with it
D'Angelo really out here just hearing "relationship" and yelling "Divorce!" like it's an Ace Attorney game. Bro at 13:00 is like "My brother got married and none of our family showed up to celebrate" Why would he get a divorce just cause his family sucks? 😭
Part of starting over with people you've wronged is accepting how they feel, even if that means that they are unreceptive. If you hurt someone and you want them to be a part of your life moving forward, you have to demonstrate with your actions that you are worthy of trust, and the first step to doing that is accepting them where they're at and letting them tell you what they're comfortable with.
About the bridesmaid costs-yes, bridesmaids are expected to foot all the costs. I’ve been a bridesmaids twice, and one bride was so demanding and cold that it ruined our friendship. The other bride asked us all to wear cowgirl boots, and when we all politely declined because it was too expensive (and not our style, for a lot of us) she was very chill and didn’t hold it against us. That bride also bought us our bridesmaids dresses. She was and is great. If I ever get married, I’m covering all of my bridesmaids’ costs…being a bridesmaid should be a celebration of friendship, not a display of “if you love me you’ll spend money” !!
People can say "Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die" - yeah well, maybe I'm micro dosing to increase my resistance to that shit. Let my grudge sit, it's a comfy space for me to throw imaginary vengeance at.
I didn’t think he was married lol maybe because he looks so young? Also I wonder how his partner must feel if they’re at home when he does these kind of Reddit videos and he very emphatically says ‘DIVORCE’ after every post lmao
I've only been a bridesmaid once and the bride brought the bridesmaid outfits. Her vintage wedding dress only cost £40. She had three bridesmaids and we had 1950s style dresses with different floral fabrics, but all the florals went with each other, a mustard coloured cardigan, and mustard coloured converse style trainers. I think the bridesmaid dresses were about £25-30, so between the three of us we cost her way more than her own outfit. You wouldn't have known it though, because her dress was really beautiful. It was white lace, and fit her perfectly. If you hunt through vintage stuff you'll find something pretty that looks good on you, even if it isn't something you'd have pictured before you found it.
Re: the bridesmaid post, my old fwb was asked to be a bridesmaid in FIVE WEDDINGS over the course of THREE MONTHS, and one of them asked her to be her maid of honor. She was so stressed out by it and I told her she could (and even should) decline, because not only were the expenses were verging on 5-figures, but the time commitment was outrageous. Two of them were having bachelorette parties in Vegas just a few weeks apart, no expenses included. Asking someone to do all that makes you not just selfish, but also a bad friend. She still did it though.
Not me reading this as your fwb asking you to be in 5 weddings 😅 I think it can be hard because friend groups tend to have a lot of people the same age/life point, leading them to get married around the same time
@@mjan3906 OH GOD NO 😂 She didn’t even invite me, thank goodness. We weren’t dating and our friend group had zero overlap, so I would’ve told her no. I’ve been a plus-one at weddings for people I don’t know before, and it’s so awkward and boring.
He probably records multiple videos a day. Stuff like reddit posts aren't under a time constraint, so he doesn't have to push them out as quickly as videos about trending topics
7:17 I actually think this guy could be TA, he never disclaimed what the complaints were about. Imagine having a useless husband and the only time you get to share that is in the meals, so instead of listening to you or being curious about what may be bothering you he goes and locks in a room. Bro. Sus.
So I was a bridesmaid for a wedding, I did pay for my own dress but that was the only thing I had to pay (100 CAD). The couple covered for all the events and gave us gifts :)
I was a maid of honor and a bridesmaid in the US and paid very little both times. Just the dress and what it took to throw an in house bachelorette tea party. I also got gifts and gave gifts to both brides.
24:24 for my wedding, I did have the members of the wedding party purchase their own outfits BUT they were allowed to wear anything they already owned/buy something secondhand or otherwise inexpensive as long as one part of their outfit was in the correct color family which was a wide range of colors. I also paid for professional hair and makeup for my bridesmaids. My bachelorette party took place at my home and they were expected to bring nothing. Other than that, they also had to attend the rehearsal dinner and ceremony rehearsal and of course the wedding itself. I wanted it to be as little of a burden as possible.
As someone who has been a bride's maid--yes, we pay for everything and it get's incredibly expensive. Lodging, food, drinks, and a portion of the bride's portion of whatever the bachelorette/bridal showers entail. We also have to pay for the dress for the wedding which the bride chooses (I have had to spend up to $400 due to their expensive tastes), though sometimes that can be a gift from the bride depending on their finances. Being a part of the wedding party is expensive af.
its pretty common (at least in the US for a traditional wedding) to have bridesmaids responsible for buying an expensive dress. usually the bride picks a place and either a specific dress or color, then each bridesmaid goes to said shop to get measurements done and order them. that being said, its slowly becoming more common for brides to give a color palette and asks bridesmaid fit the theme however they see fit
To answer your question, yes bridesmaids in the US are expected to buy their own dress. Usually, the bride buys the accessories and makeup as a rehearsal dinner gift. The reason the bridesmaids buy the dress is mostly because of cost. A lot of people consider it to be the wedding gift to the couple to be a part of the wedding and pay for the dress or tuxedo. The bridesmaids do get the keep the dresses and can wear it in the future. HOWEVER, if the bride wants super expensive bridesmaid dresses for her wedding, it is the bride’s responsibility to help anyone who can’t afford it.
Lol dude I still have family telling me I'm in the wrong because I don't want to talk to my cousin... Because they wrote a story about killing me and my aunt kept it for ten years and PASSED IT AROUND THE TABLE AT THANKSGIVING LMAOOOOO
At my wedding (in 2007), everyone signed a photo from our engagement shoot instead of a guestbook. All of my husband’s friends signatures featured a charming little quip regarding how this was my husband’s second marriage. I never hung it up. 😒
I will say that last one reminds me of a business meeting I was in. I was in my early 20s, everyone else at the table was 50+. During the meal break, they for some reason got ragging on the Millennials and how they couldn't get off their phones. I did pipe up pointing out there was one Millennial in the room (me), and that there was also only one person in the meeting who hadn't touched their phone the entire meeting (also me). Some people were chagrined, others immediately went to "oh but not you, you're different from the millennials we're talking about." 🙄
18:57 TBH this isn't even a matter of who the asshole is. You are allowed to leave a relationship that you're not happy in. Yes, communication is vital for lasting relationships, and both parties putting in work is necessary, but at the same time, there's no need to justify leaving someone that doesn't make you feel happy and respected, or takes your positive treatment for granted. At four months, if you're not feeling it and you aren't invested in making it work, let that sucker rip like a Beyblade. You'll feel better, and he'll likely claim his ex "went crazy and dumped him," which is conveniently no longer your problem.
the story about the guy calling out his uncle for the phone addiction comment, i 100% believe it, it's happened to me. i remember my grandpa used to always say "those damned phones" when he saw my cousins and me on our phones, and now i throw it back at him when he's on his phone, even while watching tv, which he used to call us out on lmao
In my mid twenties, I was living abroad and the person I thought was my best friend at the time asked me to be one of her two maid of honors. I accepted and planned take time off work and travel home for a couple of weeks to be in the bachelorette, bridal shower, and wedding. Even though it was a financial burden and living an ocean away I was going through with it, until I suddenly lost my job and thought I would be going home but my friends abroad rallied around me, fed me, loaned me money so I could stay and find another job. Anyway because of this I told her the situation and that I had to live off my savings for a while and I wouldn’t be able to make it to her wedding that was going to be in like 7 months. She got pissed, said it was the most important day and I wouldn’t be there, and I was so inconsiderate of all the planning….she never stopped to ask about my financial situation or even offer to fly me out if she really wanted me there. She stopped talking to me and honestly, best break up ever. I still see her from time to time because of mutual friends but I’m so glad she stopped talking to me because she is not a pleasant person after all. All this to say, being bridesmaids and maid of honors is way too expensive. I won’t have one if I ever get married. I love my friends to much!
So re: bridesmaid…yeah. My partner and I and our close friends were bridesmaids for our other friend’s wedding and we were out an entire paycheck by the end of it. And that was with an in state, kept in budget, modest bachelorette compared to the blowouts I have seen talked about. Honestly the worst part was paying for the outfits because for a lot of people it’s something they will never wear again, and still being expected to give a gift by the end was…mentally and financially taxing. My partner and I just eloped and we called it a day. I think wedding culture is super broken in the US, and it puts so many of us into awkward and precious situations…I never want to be part of a wedding party again 😭
i was a 20yo broke college student when my boyfriend’s sister asked me to be her bridesmaid. it was as a favor to even out the groomsmen and i was new in the family so i said yes to help out. didn’t know i’d have to pay for the dress and the bachelorette weekend. thank god my boyfriend covered my hair appointment day-of and i did my own nails and makeup in my car outside of the salon 💀
I know someone who was a bridesmaid and the bride made them all get these "permanent bracelets" that have no clasp so you can't remove them, only cut them off. They were pretty pricey and iirc my friend had to get it cut off within a year because they were in hospital and couldn't have jewellery on. So ridiculous.
I've been asked to be a bridesmaid in two weddings. One was my aunt and uncle's. I was sixteen (almost 17) and they paid for everything. Bought all the bridesmaid dresses, didn't do a Bachelor or Bachelorette party, and covered all the costs of their own wedding. They were also getting married on a budget, and I think in full the wedding cost like $400? The other one was a friend's wedding when I was 19. I was expected to buy my own dress and pay for my own travel (I lived in Missouri, they lived in Louisiana). They ended up breaking up before I bought anything, though.
My sister and I aren’t super close. I was one of her bridesmaids and it was awful. She complained about everything I did, yelled at me, and was actually so bad even her friends were shocked. Weddings can make people act their worst so nah I’m 100% with the sister
Yes, members of the wedding party pay for their own attire. However, brides are often sensitive and considerate enough to be aware of the general financial status of a 'best friend' to allow for choosing dresses that acknowledge budget differences among chosen bridesmaids. Also, $300 is probably average for a dress, but a trip cost may not be.
I love how AITA posts are like "AITA? I asked my wife a question..." and it turns out the guy is a sociopath bent on humiliating her in front of her entire family
Vs the AITA “something that makes me sound like the biggest fucking asshole ever” and then in the post it veers so hard and there’s no way in hell they’re the asshole.
Mfs like "AITA for having emotions ?
So basically my wife told me to do the dishes while I was watching soccer with my friends and I got a bit mad, now she's in the hospital and she wants to press charges. I feel like she doesn't take into account how she's the one who made me angry tho, that's f'd up right??" And you'll have at least a third of the people saying "both at fault honestly"
@@user-ey8nn1mz8iistg reddit used to be a place for advice, and now even on non-relationship related topics people give the worst advice ever/say something completely useless/are pointlessly mean.
The psychology behind it, someone who knows they did bad and are looking for validation are likely going to downplay what they did wrong, whereas someone who genuinely feels guilty will be upfront with their problems and mistakes
@@friendlypolytheist1201 FOR REAL, theyre always like
"AITA? I destroyed a 5 year old's lemonade stand whose profits were going to charity... I know this sounds bad but hear me out...."
re: grudges - something I heard awhile ago that stayed with me was, "Time is not an apology." It is really really irritating when someone hurts you, doesn't apologize or make amends, then acts like you're the weirdo for still being upset. Like, yes, you hurt me, didn't do anything to make it better, and expected that the passage of time was going to do the work for you...That's not how it works for a lot of people/situations.
I’d say it never works (also that’s a great quote)
PREACH!!
Wow I think that saying is gonna stay with me for a long time. Thanks.
We should take out adspace on the moon and let this be the only ad. The amount of people who think they can wrong others and that they'll literally forget and forgive is maddening, I think people need to be reminded that's not how it works
It's not holding a grudge, it's maintaining a boundary. The only people who get angry at your boundaries are those that benefit from you having none.
Theres 3 AITA story styles
1. "I cured cancer prostate cancer, but not ovarian cancer AITA? "
2. "I set my best friends house on fire because he called me a sore loser when I flipped the board after losing at monopoly. AITA?"
3. "AITA for giving my friend a compliment?" Then, in the comments, they reveal that the compliment was "You look so good today! Normally, you look like a bridge troll, but today I'm not embarrassed to be seen with you in public :)"
Hahaha literally. I see so many of type 3: "I gave my best friend valuable relationship advice, AITA?" And then when they're pressed the "valuable advice" was that they called their best friend an unlovable toxic jerk who deserved to rot alone forever... and they said it in front of the entire friend group at lunch.... and they reveal that they happen to be dating their friend's ex at the same lunch... something foul like that.
Type 4- "AITA for breaking someone's ribs?" And it turns out they were doing CPR
@@bluecretan7441
Type 5: My friend screamed at and insulted me in public and I cried, aita?
There's also the:
"AITA for [obviously fake story]?"
So I went to my friend's wedding and she insisted that I should have worn heels rather than flats but I never learned to balance in heels so when I put them on I fell, shattering both ankles and having to have a double foot amputation. The wedding was moved to my hospital room and when I woke up I said to her "I hope you don't mind but I had the doctors remove my heels" and showed her my stumps and she screamed about how I ruined her special day but everyone else clapped and also Einstein was there and gave me a handshake and a nobel prize in puns, but her husband told me she has a severe pun allergy and now I feel bad AITA?
The unreliable narrator to confession in the comments combo is a classic
Can confirm about the maid-of-honor thing. I was asked to be a childhood friend's maid of honor. I had to pay for my dress, shoes, getting my hair done. She had FIVE wedding showers. I was expected to be at all of them and to bring a present to each of them. I spent a fortune. The rehearsal dinner was paid for by her...and she got pizza. The entire wedding party was so done with it by that point. When the actual wedding reception took place, we did all the toasts and dances, then stole a crate of champagne and partied at the best man's apartment. I definitely felt like an a**hole, but I don't really have any regrets.
5? Why isn't anything enough for people??
Five is fucking insane.
FIVE showers!? She was really milking that registry for all it was worth.
All of this is insane!!! That's so much money! 5 presents?!!!?!
Good for you! She's the asshole not you lol
This sounds like your friend was a monster when it came to people not paying enough attention to her wedding.
Reddit AITA will be like “my husband burned our house down, robbed me and my family of everything we have, and kicked my dog because I said I didn’t like the color purple. Am I wrong?”
And also it'll start off like "I (20F) told my husband (67M) that I don't like purple"
Don’t forget the ending paragraph with some phrase like “if I’m being honest he’s been under a lot of stress at work, and I know the color purple means a lot to him, so maybe I’m just overreacting about my dislike of purple, but then his family started texting me death threats and now I’m unsure. AITA?”
i think a good portion of these people recognize they should leave their relationships but are still kind of in denial, either from normalizing the toxic behavior or being gaslighted, so they seek out validation. and then of course there are a plethora of those where it is entirely made up and basically undermines people who have actually experienced these types of situations.
Depends..the color or the movie..
It's normal and understandable. Usually the person asking has been told they're the one who's in the wrong and manipulated to believe they somehow deserve the abuse. They just need validation. I know you're making a joke but it's actually kinda awful to be in a toxic relationship long enough that you start to feel like you're just a piece of shit and that's why you're constantly being treated LIKE shit. You do start to think you're insane. It's not the right place to go but I don't blame them, either.
My parents used to yell at me for having a gameboy at the table when they're eating with other adults or reading newspaper because it's "disrespectful" and "kids these days". Nobody talked to me and all I did was eat to fill my time, it actually caused me some weight problems as a kid. But now they don't even look at me when we eat together because they're on their phone. They still complain about how kids are too addicted to technology ofc. TL;DR: My parents trained me into a not using technology at the dinner table but now all they do is stare at their phones.
It's also ironic they called you rude for playing your gameboy *while they're reading the paper and not even looking at you*
It's classic boomer behaviour
Very relatable. Especially the not being talked to part
As a single person, I really appreciate you standing up for my right to divorce.
😂😂😂same
11:05 "we need a form of divorce for siblings"
I think you're thinking of... Disowning someone 😭😭😭
with every passing year i become a little more convinced i should get married in las vegas with no one but my partner and a guy dressed as elvis.
Same but I want a mime or jester!
my mom and stepdad got married in vegas with just the family, they decided against the elvis last minute and i've really never been more disappointed lol
This or simple court wedding + luxurious honey moon!
That's really expensive tho. My partner and I (both atheists) just asked the preacher at a church to do a small 2 person ceremony in their rose garden and it was very cheap.
My uncle did that with his second wife Lisa, she's a really cool person. They're like the stereotypical drunken beer belly bear guy and marathon running super sweet suburban mom of two couple, and I'm very happy for them to be doing as well as they have been
21:52 As someone who recently got married, this is traditionally how the bridesmaid stuff works, but it should NOT be. I let my bridesmaids pick their dresses and got an airbnb for all of us for a sleepover as the bachelorette party. You're asking these people to be bridesmaids because they're the closest people in your life and you love them. You should be treating them and thanking them for being part of your day, not expecting them to pay an arm and a leg for you!
That's so sweet! Personally, I wouldn't mind treating my friends either for their special day, but it's very kind and generous of you to treat your bridal party.
Tolerating intolerance leads to intolerant societies. Appeasement nonsense idea
And it’s only ever one side that’s asked to be tolerant
It’s almost like tolerance is an empty virtue that depends on what’s tolerated and can’t be done for its own sake.
Well said 👍🏼
Like islam.
@TwisterTornado They certainly aren't, but we're talking of the modern day. We can literally see different parts of the west with a huge concentration of muz where women wear the niqab and fight teaching about LGBT in schools. Jess Philips in Birmingham encountered counter protests by you know who because of the teaching of LGBTQ in schools. A tory mayor in west Yorkshire had to apologise for raising a LGBT flag because it offended you know who. He resigned.
You should buy a domain for a symbolic divorce website. Anyone can fill out a form and it generates a certificate that says “D’Angelo Wallace has approved your petition and declared you symbolically divorced from XYZ”
That way he can give out friend and siblings divorces as well
This would go so hard in the DougDoug community
@@justacupofdirt the community finally divorces him for OugDoug
Mean people love to say "I was just joking around"
ask them to explain the joke ha
So much so, it’s literally a proverb in the Bible, Proverbs 26:18-19.
@@Window4503 wow you weren't joking
18
Like a maniac shooting
flaming arrows of death
19
is one who deceives their neighbor
and says, “I was only joking!”
I 1000% agree that mean people always say they are joking but the friend could've waited to tell the bride the cousin was a dick or go to a different family member to ensue the necessary shaming.
@@brkh96what that means to me is people have been doing it for a long ass time 😂😂
with the whole bridesmaid paying their way thing, i watched a friend go through something similar. she's a college student, working part-time minimum wage and getting an arts degree. her sister, the one who was getting married, is a lawyer for a private law firm who is marrying a doctor. they're absolutely loaded. my friend ended up bringing her bank account to zero on top of having several loans out for school in order to cover the dress, hair/makeup from a pre-appointed artist, the 5 trips through the engagement/wedding process that all involved needing to fly somewhere and take time off, and a $500 wedding gift. and she still got shit for missing the bride's dress fitting because she had finals. america is wild.
I'm American and my family would never do that for any of my family members especially if they were in school we'd be paying for their airfare like my cousins were all like that when they got married I think this is a family thing tbh some people are just weird about it.
It would be much more typical American culturally for the more well off sibling to pay than to force the less well off sibling to go in debt… unless you don’t like your sibling…….
she needs sibling divorce 🗣️🗣️🗣️
My parents got married in a courthouse by themselves because married student housing was cheaper in college. They have been happily married for 40 years :)
That's sweet :)
periodddd
love this energy. :) good for them!
My parents got married as my dad got a job in a band on a cruise ship and could bring a spouse along for free, they were also married for 40 years until my dad passed
truly iconic of them really
9:45 My stalker ex texted me yesterday asking to speak to me and I can’t tell you how comforting this was to hear. It’s very easy to think “maybe they’ve changed” when you don’t have a community around you reminding you that they HAVEN’T if they’re overstepping your boundaries (again!).
knocking people unconscious is not at all like in the movies. if someone is rendered unconscious for more than a few seconds there’s almost certainly something really wrong, such as lack of oxygen to the brain or a TBI, all of which would cause lasting damage brain damage and would definitely require a hospital trip. that story was written by a 15 year old boy who likes action movies
And if it’s not happening in a safe and controlled environment (and with people with training) then it happening at all is unacceptable.
It did say "choked him out" (not knocked him out), which, coupled with the fact the jiu jitsu classes were some time ago, is not actually implausible, given that choking someone out involves - at least partially - cutting off their oxygen supply, & not being a current/well-trained martial artist inceases the likelihood of doing it unsafely & going too far, leading to unconciousness.
(It could still be fake, of course, just that that part didn't sound like a dealbreaker to me.)
@@elven_grandma3138? OP covered that with ‘lack of oxygen to the brain.’ If lack of oxygen to the CONTINUES after choking - and they clearly would have tried to wake him up, since they said it was ‘scary’ instead of ‘we let him nap’ - that’s bad.
off topic but i remember finding that same exact stock image thats in ur pfp and laughing so much at it back in quarantine
It was written by Steven Segal
Brides who make their bridesmaids buy their own dresses are assholes. I bought my bridesmaids comfortable, black, simple dresses from Amazon for $30 each and included them in goody bags. They loved their dresses and one girl even repurposed hers as her church formal.
My bestie had three bridesmaids including me. She brought us all our bridesmaids dresses and shoes. The dresses were 1950s style ones with different floral fabrics, one black, one beige, and one red. The florals all had similar colours so they matched, and she got us mustard coloured cardigans, and converse style trainers. One of the other bridesmaids wanted to wear heels, but when we were all getting ready she put the sneakers on.
The cardigans and shoes were cheap, and so were the dresses. But she actually only spent £40 on her wedding dress. It was a beautiful vintage dress.
If I got married I would never feel okay asking for money for bridesmaids outfits or anything else.
You're my kind of person.
I wouldn't be mad about having to buy my own bridesmaid dress as long as I get to choose my own dress.
Best believe I'm buying from TJ Maxx, too.
Agree to disagree I had my bridesmaids buy their own dresses for multiple reasons.
1.) I paid for hair make up and all other boarding/activities over the weekend
2.) only 2 lived anywhere near me (had 6 my husband and I had friend who came in from other countries as well)
3.) my only stipulation for dresses was to pick a color out of 10 colors they where given could be any style any price range just was whatever you felt the most comfortable in
I think as long as the bridesmaids are free to pick out the dress they want themselves, I think it's fine. Like the Bride can stipulate it's in a specific color, but then the bridesmaids can pick the style or cut or price etc etc so they go together then it's fine. When the bride is picking out a specific dress that everyone has to purchase, then it's a problem/not fair because not everybody can afford the same dress/price range
THIS. I did similar. The outfits should not be cost prohibitive for the most important people in your life to be in your wedding.
I am a married person, and the idea that anyone should be forced or coerced to spend money on YOUR wedding is bonkers. My sisters in law helped us with food and drinks for our wedding out of the goodness of their hearts and I will never forget it or stop telling them how grateful I am. They didn't have to do that.
Bless your sister in law
I mean just have a jack and Jill if needed they’re made for rising money for the wedding if you’re on a budget and you have games and raffles so it not just give me money people attending get something out of it and it’s not an obligation to go or spend if you wanna support you support if you can’t afford to or just don’t want to don’t nothing wrong with it just a persons choice at the end of the day
@@JL_Pope People attend weddings *to celebrate with them* and give gifts as a way of celebrating, what do you mean “getting something out of it”????
I'm with you. I feel that if you are asking someone to celebrate an event in your life, you should be happy people took time out of their lives to celebrate your event. Your guests don't owe you anything and if they decide to gift you anything, it's nice. I feel inviting people to celebrate with you, you should be hosting them.
I'm always surprised how different weddings in the US are. Over here the guests, bridesmaids etc don't have to pay for anything. If the bride wants you to wear anything special besides regular formal wear (a certain dress, hairstyle, makeup), she has to provide it. The only thing guests usually pay themselves is a hotel if they live in a different part of the country.
Getting knocked out and losing consciousness for more than 60 seconds is something anyone in a gym or anyone who practiced martial arts, will raise concern over. That's possible brain damage territory.
One thing about fucking up and changing is that when you actually do it and understand the effects of what you've done- you don't feel entitled to forgiveness. You accept the consequences of your actions and you move forward having learned to be better. If people decide to come back into your life and forgive you that's their own decision that you can't control.
True. Especially if they have never apologized for anything, and refuse to do so even now, then how can they in the same breath demand forgiveness lol. Why should I have to be the bigger person but they don’t even want to do any real or sincere effort to be forgiven
Right? If someone is upset at you for having trouble forgiving them, stop trying. They think they've changed but they are wrong.
@@helixxia9320that’s literally impossible. If someone says that to you again please hit them with “how am I supposed to give you something you haven’t explicitly asked for”? Let them figure it out.
At the same time, constantly reminding someone of their mistakes even after they apologized and changed is emotionally abusive. If you can't forgive someone, that is fine but it's up to you to create distance. (Depending of the severity of what happened)
@@gnocchidokeyDang, that’s well put
Re: The wedding party paying for their own dresses and expenses and such: Let me educate you with my degree in Theoretically Accurate Wedding History, which is a real degree that I definitely do have. Or maybe I'm just 35 and have been to a bunch of my friends' weddings both conventional and unconventional. It USED to be the case that the bride/groom's family paid for all expenses of the Wedding Party (the group of people in the wedding, maids/men etc). But due to the desire in the US to prove how rich and awesome we are all the time, weddings became more and more extravagant because they all had to be as fancy and lavish as Queen Victoria, (this is literally why brides wear white dresses) even though many families were actually NOT that wealthy, so they began to ask the wedding party members to pay for their own things to offset costs, with the implication that they could do so because all their friends are clearly as well-off as they are (pretending to be but not really).
This then gradually became the cultural norm in North America specifically where the appearance of being wealthy is more important than making wise financial decisions, so in a traditional/conventional US wedding, yes, the party is expected to pay for themselves. A CONSIDERATE bride/groom will make sure to keep costs affordable for everyone in the party, but a lot of brides/grooms aren't considerate. It's stupid and hopefully it'll change. Most of my friends are fucking weirdos (affectionate) and didn't do that at all, one of them had a circus wedding and people showed up wearing crazy vaudeville attire.
A lot of rich people can't comprehend that everyone else isn't as rich as they are, especially if they're used to having rich friends, so there's that too.
Thank you for the lesson, Professor of Theoretically Accurate Wedding History. I just wanted to ask if we were going to go over the “Wedding” tax in terms of venues and services and how much more the cost for the same day/time as soon as you say wedding as a capitalist phenomenon before the test next Thursday or if that was going to be included in the midterm?
@@Elirum Well it's far too long of a chapter to get into before Next Thursday, but as a preview so you can do some extra credit before the midterm, The 'Wedding Tax', much like any other capitalist phenomenon that harms consumers, was caused indirectly by Reagan/Friedman-omics.
Incidentally the origins of it are intentionally obfuscated behind claims such as 'well services are harder to do/more labor for weddings' but there's enough anecdotal evidence this isn't true when people request something that shouldn't be any different regardless, and also businesses are welcome to charge 'revision fees' rather than an upcharge up front.
In the 1890s, anti-trust laws were implemented that were aimed at preventing business collusion, price-fixing, price-gouging, and so on, and this would have definitely kept the wedding industry in check had they been enforced, but 'mysteriously' this enforcement began to erode after the 1980s. Companies lobbying, PR, and media manipulation have all led to the insistence that weddings are not being up-charged, and if they are, it's because it's 'more work', details ignored.
This trend of course began with the realization that many weddings are paid for by family members, and that the bride often had a very idealistic and extravagant view of the intended ceremony and therefore would be desperate enough to pay extra to have the best wedding in her circle.
Sorry, out of time, class dismissed.
This, is amazing! Totally deserves way more love.
This is one of those things that makes me irrationally angry when it doesn't affect me at all (wedding culture is quite different where I live, I have not been involved in any wedding parties nor am I expecting to be any time soon), I just can't get over how shitty and absurd it is to expect people to pay for a personal event YOU are deciding to put on for YOURSELF
“The appearance of being wealthy is more important than making wise financial decisions”
This, but for everything imaginable. It sucks.
The person who is upset at so-called family members who wouldn't come to her brother's wedding because he's gay is so valid
I'm still mad at my aunt and uncle for skipping my brother's wedding because my brother and his wife wanted all the guests to be vaccinated. (I'm mad at her for other things too, bc refusing to get vaccinated is just one of many stupid beliefs that all inform each other like a snake eating its tail)
The mindset of ppl like your aunt and uncle truly is an ouroborus of sadness.
They're mad she didn't want people to die as a result of her wedding? Why won't God just take the stupid ones? Why?
That's literally a medical decision, you should never have any say over what a person chooses to do or not do to their body.
@56KSCI’m not an anti vaxer but I’m not gunna go get a vaccine as soon as it comes out . Half of people without the Covid vaccine has every other one society seems fit, they just fine this one to have been scary and pushed out fast or whatever the reason… yall just mad haters
@56KSC so every woman who chooses to give birth is anti-abortion? "anti-vaxxer" lol did i ever say "don't get vaccinated"?
you didn't think there could be health reasons some people choose not to get vaccinated for? you judgemental dumb fu ck.
I have really conservative family members who wouldn’t attend their son’s wedding because he married a catholic girl and converted to be with her-he converted from Protestantism btw literally the same thing just different font. One of my aunts, who lost her son, told them “at least your son is alive to get married.” They’re all cool with each other now but I cannot think of a pettier reason for skipping out on your own son’s wedding.
These reddit AITA videos are my version soap operas.
Honestly, the whiplash I get from some of these stories is mind boggling.
Same
Truly
This 🎯
Same and I love it 😂
I've been in abusive relationships where my sense of reality and my sanity was eroded by the person I loved. You'd be amazed what abusers can do to people given enough time. :(
I'm sorry you've had to live through this; I hope you're in a much better and supportive environment now. ❤🩹
10:41 I don’t think holding a grudge is inherently bad. Sometimes holding a grudge is a form of self-preservation. It reminds you not to let really hurtful people back into your life, especially if they’ve hurt you repeatedly.
Whole heartedly agree
depends on how you define "holding a grudge". Some people see it as bitter resentment that would hurt the person themselves as well, and some people simply see it as not forgiving.
I got told in treatment that holding onto grudges and resentments is similar to drinking poison and waiting for the other person to croak.
They probably don’t even remember doing it. Which means they most likely don’t care. Pointless, but it feels SO good.
I've been accused of holding a grudge and the whole "you're only hurting yourself if you don't forgive." In reality I just kept consistent morals and wouldn't allow anyone to beat a positive or neutral image of my abuser into me. Forcing someone to let go of injustice does not make you a better person.
part of my healing was staying angry lol like truely holding a grudge and not giving them the benefit of the doubt bc GIRL LEAVE
Weddings in the U.S. are unhinged period. I've been a bridesmaid twice, one of which was hell. Dress was expensive. Bachelorette was expensive. Hair/Makeup on my own dime. I regretted saying yes. AND we aren't even friends anymore. Word to the wise: If you've never been a bridesmaid, don't do it if the bride can't pay for all it comes with.
I've been a bridesmaid 4 times now I think? And yes it is REALLY expensive. You do pay for your own bridesmaid dress, and they're at minimum $90-$100 from any retailer I've gone to, plus you will likely need it altered which is another $100+. You also generally split the cost of the bachelorette party with the other attendees, and the bride doesn't pay for that part herself.
I just went to a wedding as a bridesmaid this past weekend, and while I was happy to be there to support my friend, it was a 5 hour drive there for me and I needed to spent money on an Airbnb for several days, food for my time staying there, my bridesmaid dress, a gift for the couple, the bachelorette party, getting my hair done with the other bridesmaids, and gas + parking downtown. I'm too scared to count but I wouldn't be surprised if the total ended up being over $2000 for me to be a bridesmaid.
There's definitely ways to do it much cheaper, the last wedding I went to before this was a camping wedding in which there was no cost for anybody other than the family paying for the catering and the reservation for the campsite. It ruled lol
The fact that $2000 is a regular expense I've heard is insane. I've been to and in a lot of weddings and sure I have to pay but I didn't have to buy a dress and had friends that understand I don't always have the money to spend on YOUR wedding. That last wedding sound sick and WAY better than what most people do.
I'm sorry but I feel like you should pay for your bridesmaids wedding dress
I’m sorry that’s ridiculous. I would never.
Oof. Only once have I been able to save money in the thousands and it was from working 80 hour weeks, which ended up going to a deposit for my bf and I to move in together. I'm just not a banker or travelling nurse, I don't know how people have that much to save from after bills. 😅
The best way to do bridesmaid dresses imo , if the engaged couple don’t pay for them and the fittings, is to just give the group a color/palette to follow and let them find dresses which are within their budget and which might look better on them than the style the bride might have picked
25:47 my husband and I have noticed our parents are WAY more addicted to their phones/being on social media on the computer/tablets than anyone our age. Literally watching videos on their phone at the dinner table at a restaurant, loudly playing videos while the rest of us are trying to talk etc, disturbing not only us bc we cant hear eachother let alone interaxt with them bc theyre on their phones, theyre also disturbing others in the vicinity!! Its crazy! And for a generation who would always say like "Dont believe everything you hear" etc, they believe EVERYTHING they see online. Its sooo bad...
I was a bridesmaid in that type of wedding. It ended our friendship unfortunately - she thought she wasn’t asking too much and thought all of her bridesmaids were just being selfish. The bridesmaids dresses were $400 each, a weekend girls’ trip was over $800, etc., etc.
It is wild to me that at no point while spending time or texting with her potential bridesmaids would it occur to the bride to start putting feelers out, like 'wow what a cool documentary, I'd love to see that place in person!' and open the table to to discussion about how realistic that is for people, whether they're comfortable getting a passport if needed, whether they are saving for having a baby, etc. Like why would someone not want everyone coming out to be happy and not resent you? Wild.
It's funny because I wanted to be like "this is obviously fake, it's the EXACT plot of the movie Bridesmaids" lol
My sister was in debt because of school, so we had to buy our bridesmaid dresses ($100) but we didn't have to pay for anything else. Her mother in law did our hair and makeup
We also got to pick our own dress as long as it was blue
I ended up ghosting my friend/cousin after being a bridesmaid at her wedding. She asked waaaay too much of me and never gave anything back.
First, yes, my bridesmaid clothes were really expensive and I'm living on disability so that sucked.
But what was even worse was her complete lack of a damn that plagued our "friendship" for the year she spent planning the wedding. During that year, I was getting sicker and sicker (diagnosis at that point was CIDP - not a fun time), and for the six months leasing up to the wedding I'd been using a walking stick to get around. Not that she noticed though! Every time I went to her house she'd be sooooo concerned "oh no, what's wrong? You have a walking stick!?". She "found out" I was using a walking stick at least 3-4 times.
The day of her wedding, I had to stand 1.5 hours for the ceremony, and then she expected me to hike all over a paddock and through the long grass for 3 more hours for the photos - with nowhere to sit for a break AT ALL! Luckily, one of her friends (a guest I'd never met before) went and got a big heavy timber kitchen chair and followed me around so I could rest! Whoever that woman was is a literal angel!
After all that, I ended up walking out to my mum's car, taking painkillers and trying not to cry. My cousin didn't notice I was gone for half an hour. When I got back, they'd opened up the bar, and even though I'm not a drinker usually, I ended up drinking rum+coke all night!
My cousin even nagged me to get up and dance at the reception, and I finally got a backbone (thanks rum) and told her there's just no way I was doing that.
I ended up spending a week in bed crying in pain from that wedding, and I don't think my cousin even knows why I ghosted her!
I'll sit her down one day and have a talk about how she acted like she didn't care about me, but I won't tie it to the wedding because I'M not an AH! Unfortunately, I've gotten even sicker since then (diagnosed with lupus, just had brain surgery 1 month ago), so giving her some closure just isn't something I care to bother with at the moment!
Thankyou for listening to my rant 😆 and also, I've never liked my body, but I just found out I have a very pleasingly shaped head - so I guess it all worked out for the best?!
@JesseFred That sounds awful, I would have out my foot/cane down and told them my physical limitations and requirements from the start! But to be fair I've developed a backbone precisely because I've been treated like a doormat growing up and in a lot of jobs so I'm fed up lol. I'm really sorry you had to go through that but I'm glad to hear you're learning to draw lines for people that don't care. A layman might say that she was caught up in wedding planning nerves but the fact that she 'discovered' your situation 3-4 times? Get outa here lady! 😅 I hope you find some peace with telling people where you stand and I hope your body lets you enjoy life in other ways than dancing.
12:45 as someone who can somewhat decide to stop caring about things, I have no thoughts at all. head empy.
I actually was a mod on that sub for a hot minute, when it was first blowing up. I got kicked out for not being online enough, but later on got a scare when some random person told me I was the "top mod" there and a horrible person and implied that they circulated stuff on discord about me.
Yikes.
Wtf why is reddit so toxïc? Even on the “positive,” subs people are so argumentative, sensitive, and serious. This is why I don’t use that app unless it pops up in a google search. I swear my mental has improved significantly. 😂
@@brookelynnwu8016 Because when some humans think/know they are anonymous they do things they wouldn't dare even consider saying/doing if their identity was known or they were face to face with others.
Geez. Reddit is kind of like Twitter anymore (yeah I refuse to call it X). Toxic dump of humanity. 🤦🏻♀️
@@KatyWithAWhyyy I've been on reddit periodically since the early 2010's. It's always been like this. It's like 4chan's little brother but less anonymous. Twitter is basically what 4chan used to be combined in unholy matrimony with old tumblr.
21:36 ive been a bridesmaid four times, a maid of honor and a "best man" and ive never had a bride want to pay for my dress 😂 i dont even speak to most of these people anymore. What a waste of money and energy.
I’ve never heard of a normal wedding story on Reddit. I’m ready for whatever is to come
25:32 honestly as a kid nothing pissed me off more than adults telling me to not speak up when someone’s being an asshole or just straight up wrong. i think the kid was right and kicked ass, if real. don’t wanna be embarrassed by a kid? stop being an embarrassment!
10:58 my family being like "I'm not gonna apologize, I'll just pretend I forgot about it which means it never happened and if you're mad you're the weird/aggressive/mean one" is basically my life in a nutshell
Same!
No because 200% feel you
ok u gotta love a man who thinks about polly pockets enough that the word gravitational polly pockets comes up in his brain when hes trying to think of something random. truly so girly-girl coded we love you d'angelo
D’Angelo, your productivity got me hooked, idk what happens to me when you stop uploading every day
productivity and mania look the same from the outside
@@lookatdemijipers Uhh, I beg to differ.
@@lookatdemijiperswhile mania can be productive, they are not the same, even to outsiders, no. Mania can also manifest as anger, anxiety, superioirty complexes, euphroia, general amped mood, etc. Source: I'm bipolar.
this is so real i feel the same LOL
@@ProTobigen I'm BP1 too lol mania can be a lot of things, yeah, and productive is definitely one of them. all those other things are "inside" of the person, not always part of the face they show the world. releasing new content every day for a month definitely tracks with a manic episode, especially when it's someone with a history of disappearing from their professional life for months at a time. it's the peak before the valley
24:30 “this kid is a 15 year old boy, this uncle is a 54 year old boy” 😂
D'angelo, if I ever get married I'm gonna invite you to be a bridesmaid. I wouldnt even be mad that you're prettier than me 😂
What do you mean "if"?? 😌😂
@@tonichan89Not everyone gets married wym??
9:28 to 11:00 needs to be publicly broadcasted because holy shit so much truth was spoken and so many people need to hear it. apologies should have genuine meaning behind them, and even if they do, they don't need to be accepted. and holding grudges is a good way to protect yourself from future behavior from the same people. this whole part had me yelling "YES! YES!" at my tv screen like i was in church
For the sister grudge one - she also probably expects you to drop thousqnds of dollars on her because you’re the MOH
And arranging the batchelorette party
Yeah. Literally just trying to abuse her sister more.
RE: bridesmaid etiquette, in my wedding and every wedding I've been a part of, bridesmaids get their own dress. BUUUUT, as long as it matched the color palette we could get whatever dress fits our budget + body type. I sent my bridesmaids an anonymous survey before planning the bachelorette to gauge their budgets.
The basement eater could go either way, I think. Saying you "listen" to someone complain about your behavior and describing it as "de-stressing" doesn't give strong "actually listening and willing to work it out" vibes, especially when their example of a random complaint is not treating their partner's things like they matter as much as their own.
If the girlfriend really is just berating them to feel better about herself, and the guy literally locks himself in the basement to avoid her, then it sounds like they're both miserable, and he needs to realize that's not normal. The story is written with too little context on who the asshole is, but it does sound like there's no reason for them to stay together if it's true.
i agree w this- i got a red flag seeing the “it seems she destresses by complaining” - i’ve been gaslit w this phrase bc i would express being upset & be comforted/validated w false promises & eventually i’d get riled up again when no change occurred. but it could very well be true too, many people are self victimizing as well … just rly depends more on the context imo. bc a partner leaving a conversation bc im trying to talk abt things not being good can def be hurtful
@@jadziajan What about the part where she apparently wanted to get the door taken off its hinges? Also the "hello, hello, hello, are you listening?" part when he's eating? That doesn't seem like someone who just wants to discuss their day.
I think regardless, the answer is they need to break up. Either she has legitimate problems that he has refused to listen to and she's escalated to more controlling and more manipulative methods to get him to listen, or she's using the excuse of "de-stressing" to justify putting him down and undermining him at a time when she knows he's ill-equipped to address the problems she's bringing up.
I lean toward her being the problem because if you are demanding an answer from someone while they are chewing and getting mad when they don't, you're setting them up to fail. And if you threaten to physically alter the property in order to continue setting someone up to fail, then you're not actually trying to solve the problem, you're wanting to maximize the conflict and the suffering.
Either way, she is miserable, and he is miserable, and neither of them are apparently doing anything to fix that.
Sorry I know this isn't the point but "the basement eater" sounds like a creepypasta monster LMAOOOO
@@frolicinqthat's what they called me in college
6:21 Nah dude like half my family is just like this to the point that I've had the door situation happen to me before, legit all of them would say he is in the wrong 💀💀💀💀
If the other person is a homophobe, you are always right even when you are wrong
Literally omg
Your little riff at 12:07 had me giggling like a fool in the middle of my lecture. From one introverted uncle to another, keep up the good work 😂
The fact that it’s so normal to force your bridesmaids to pay so much money is crazy to me.
20:01 not the A-hole, but if he’s you’re partner why wouldn’t you tell him how you feel… sometimes people get caught up in life and don’t realize how they treat people and they just need a reminder
Exactly 💯
Yeah if the person continues the behavior after you talk to them a couple of times then there's an issue. But everyone has different standards in a relationship so making your needs and expectations clear is vital. People aren't mind readers ya know
@@bethwood7091 perfecly said💯
she did say how she was feeling. also if it was only 4 months and bf already felt like he didnt have to be nice to his partner and treat her with respect then why bother.
19:39 it says that she had discussed it with him before. It is in parentheses so deangelo didnt read that part out loud
Do you think D'Angelo googles the "I am the professor of..." terms to *actually* make sure they don't exist? Because I feel like we're so close to him saying a degree that's an actual degree, and some PhD somewhere who has that degree will get his video sent by all his family members.
I've seen a couple of 'that sort of exists as a topic/subspecialty' comments. I made a HGttG joke when he mentioned intergalactic gastronomy, but it didn't really land.
0:07 can't believe this is how we hear about d'angelo and daves wedding
I am obsessed with reddit reading podcasts like two hot takes so the minute I saw my professor of holistic software engineering D’Angelo posted an AITA video I broke my thumb with how fast I clicked on it.
You want a rec for one I love? Mark Narrations! He’s a sweet guy
@@lucanusafrostyes! I've been binging him for months. Kinda got sick of THT because of a trend of genuinely misandrist comments from the hosts and some guests, culminating in an episode where they victim blamed a male rape victim... mark narrations is so sweet though. Smosh reads reddit is also a winner for the most part with the exception of a few bad episodes
@@llynxfyremusic THT?
13:10 my mom actually got gay divorced recently and i’m thankful for the divorce equality everyday, thank you for supporting divorce equality D’Angelo!!!
generally speaking, the bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for their own attire, travel expenses, etc. unless the couple offers to pay for it all. it's unfortunate honestly
As someone who was literally JUST a bridesmaid for a wedding on Monday, it is actually normal to pay for your own dress, alterations and the bachelorette trip. Other costs like accessories (jewelry, bags, shoes) and hair or makeup it depends on the couple getting married whether it's covered
In my country we pay for ourselves and any decent person will respect and even expect for everyone to work within their own economy, we all have our own limited resources. Sometimes I know that the bridal party will have a discussion and come to an agreement about budget if the plan is to look similar/cohesive or the same. If that's the case the wedding couple usually step in and help finance the dresses or straight up pay for everyone. It is after all their wish for people to look a certain way and obviously therefore on them to make it possible. Depending on your culture/heritage this can vary but usually we all pay for ourselves unless the couple have a specific wish on dresses. Then it's collectively solved within reason.
First time bridesmaid here - as someone who ALSO didn't know what to do/not to do/buy/not to buy in the current wedding culture, apparently the bride should be expected to pay for the dress if they want a very specific dress. Like for example, if they want all the bridesmaids to match or be in a specific cut/length of dress. Otherwise, you're told a color/theme and expected to pay for it yourself, that way you can buy a dress that fits your budget. But then again, I've also read that it just depends, wedding to wedding. All this to say that weddings and people are complicated and I'm glad that the bride I'm being a bridesmaid for just gave us a color and told us to buy whatever dress we wanted.
I think it also depends at what point in life the couple is at. If they recently graduated college and are in debt vs if they are further into their careers and can afford to pay for everything
Honestly, not really. “Typically”, as in, most commonly, the attire portion of the budget doesn’t include the wedding party. The couple basically chooses whether or not they’re going to budget for the wedding party attire or if they’ll push that cost on the wedding party. We chose to budget for the wedding party attire (dresses and suits). I don’t know anybody else personally who did.
My partner and I got married at a friend’s house by another friend who got ordained for us. It was just the five of us (two friends were witnesses and one the “minister”) and then we signed the paper and played games all night. Best wedding ever imo and it only cost us $25 (price of the marriage certificate lol)
I’m in the middle of working out as I’m listening to this. I was in the middle of a bench press set when I heard “they’ve tried to interrupt my grind, and they could never to be clear” and I started laughing so hard that I couldn’t get the weight up. I literally almost died laughing listening to your video, and if that’s how I go I’m okay with it
D'Angelo really out here just hearing "relationship" and yelling "Divorce!" like it's an Ace Attorney game.
Bro at 13:00 is like "My brother got married and none of our family showed up to celebrate" Why would he get a divorce just cause his family sucks?
😭
As someone who spent the last 2 years planning my wedding (two weeks omg!!), all the best wedding drama is actually on r/weddingplanning, not AITA.
Congratulations 🎉❤ I hope you had a fantastic time! ❤❤❤
Part of starting over with people you've wronged is accepting how they feel, even if that means that they are unreceptive. If you hurt someone and you want them to be a part of your life moving forward, you have to demonstrate with your actions that you are worthy of trust, and the first step to doing that is accepting them where they're at and letting them tell you what they're comfortable with.
A genuine apology is shown with consistently changed behavior, I agree with you 100%.
About the bridesmaid costs-yes, bridesmaids are expected to foot all the costs. I’ve been a bridesmaids twice, and one bride was so demanding and cold that it ruined our friendship. The other bride asked us all to wear cowgirl boots, and when we all politely declined because it was too expensive (and not our style, for a lot of us) she was very chill and didn’t hold it against us. That bride also bought us our bridesmaids dresses. She was and is great. If I ever get married, I’m covering all of my bridesmaids’ costs…being a bridesmaid should be a celebration of friendship, not a display of “if you love me you’ll spend money” !!
People can say "Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die" - yeah well, maybe I'm micro dosing to increase my resistance to that shit.
Let my grudge sit, it's a comfy space for me to throw imaginary vengeance at.
also, D'angelo on a pasta trip... someone get this bish some Fettuccine Alfredo. STAT.
"Weddings! We've all had one...wait.."
😂 And I instantly noticed his wedding band. Good save, great video, hilarious as always.
I didn’t think he was married lol maybe because he looks so young?
Also I wonder how his partner must feel if they’re at home when he does these kind of Reddit videos and he very emphatically says ‘DIVORCE’ after every post lmao
I've only been a bridesmaid once and the bride brought the bridesmaid outfits.
Her vintage wedding dress only cost £40. She had three bridesmaids and we had 1950s style dresses with different floral fabrics, but all the florals went with each other, a mustard coloured cardigan, and mustard coloured converse style trainers.
I think the bridesmaid dresses were about £25-30, so between the three of us we cost her way more than her own outfit.
You wouldn't have known it though, because her dress was really beautiful. It was white lace, and fit her perfectly.
If you hunt through vintage stuff you'll find something pretty that looks good on you, even if it isn't something you'd have pictured before you found it.
rise and shine, class has begun
Love your take on holding a grudge. I will never forget what ppl did to me
Re: the bridesmaid post, my old fwb was asked to be a bridesmaid in FIVE WEDDINGS over the course of THREE MONTHS, and one of them asked her to be her maid of honor. She was so stressed out by it and I told her she could (and even should) decline, because not only were the expenses were verging on 5-figures, but the time commitment was outrageous. Two of them were having bachelorette parties in Vegas just a few weeks apart, no expenses included. Asking someone to do all that makes you not just selfish, but also a bad friend. She still did it though.
Not me reading this as your fwb asking you to be in 5 weddings 😅
I think it can be hard because friend groups tend to have a lot of people the same age/life point, leading them to get married around the same time
@@mjan3906 OH GOD NO 😂 She didn’t even invite me, thank goodness. We weren’t dating and our friend group had zero overlap, so I would’ve told her no. I’ve been a plus-one at weddings for people I don’t know before, and it’s so awkward and boring.
i love coming back from school to these it’s like a reward i love it sm
How are you releasing so many high quality videos literally every day!? Are you cloning yourself!?
On brand honestly. Put in an insane amount of work to create high quality videos until he can’t then disappears for 24 months. Just enjoy the ride
He probably records multiple videos a day. Stuff like reddit posts aren't under a time constraint, so he doesn't have to push them out as quickly as videos about trending topics
Also I've noticed he's wearing the same outfit lol?
@NicoNicoNessieSub
7:17 I actually think this guy could be TA, he never disclaimed what the complaints were about. Imagine having a useless husband and the only time you get to share that is in the meals, so instead of listening to you or being curious about what may be bothering you he goes and locks in a room. Bro. Sus.
I don't see the logic, but I'll let you cook.
Youre cooking
@@felidaefatalisCooking meth
So I was a bridesmaid for a wedding, I did pay for my own dress but that was the only thing I had to pay (100 CAD). The couple covered for all the events and gave us gifts :)
That's really nice and I feel like that's how it SHOULD be. They're the ones making the choices and asking you to be there.
I was a maid of honor and a bridesmaid in the US and paid very little both times. Just the dress and what it took to throw an in house bachelorette tea party. I also got gifts and gave gifts to both brides.
24:24 for my wedding, I did have the members of the wedding party purchase their own outfits BUT they were allowed to wear anything they already owned/buy something secondhand or otherwise inexpensive as long as one part of their outfit was in the correct color family which was a wide range of colors. I also paid for professional hair and makeup for my bridesmaids. My bachelorette party took place at my home and they were expected to bring nothing. Other than that, they also had to attend the rehearsal dinner and ceremony rehearsal and of course the wedding itself. I wanted it to be as little of a burden as possible.
As someone who has been a bride's maid--yes, we pay for everything and it get's incredibly expensive. Lodging, food, drinks, and a portion of the bride's portion of whatever the bachelorette/bridal showers entail. We also have to pay for the dress for the wedding which the bride chooses (I have had to spend up to $400 due to their expensive tastes), though sometimes that can be a gift from the bride depending on their finances. Being a part of the wedding party is expensive af.
its pretty common (at least in the US for a traditional wedding) to have bridesmaids responsible for buying an expensive dress. usually the bride picks a place and either a specific dress or color, then each bridesmaid goes to said shop to get measurements done and order them. that being said, its slowly becoming more common for brides to give a color palette and asks bridesmaid fit the theme however they see fit
Looooooooove me some wedding drama. It’s my happy toxic trait. Thank you for the treat D’Angelo!!
Pasta over people. Every. Single. Time.
To answer your question, yes bridesmaids in the US are expected to buy their own dress. Usually, the bride buys the accessories and makeup as a rehearsal dinner gift. The reason the bridesmaids buy the dress is mostly because of cost. A lot of people consider it to be the wedding gift to the couple to be a part of the wedding and pay for the dress or tuxedo. The bridesmaids do get the keep the dresses and can wear it in the future. HOWEVER, if the bride wants super expensive bridesmaid dresses for her wedding, it is the bride’s responsibility to help anyone who can’t afford it.
Lol dude I still have family telling me I'm in the wrong because I don't want to talk to my cousin... Because they wrote a story about killing me and my aunt kept it for ten years and PASSED IT AROUND THE TABLE AT THANKSGIVING LMAOOOOO
this is genuine freak behaviour, wtf is wrong with your relatives 😭
At my wedding (in 2007), everyone signed a photo from our engagement shoot instead of a guestbook. All of my husband’s friends signatures featured a charming little quip regarding how this was my husband’s second marriage. I never hung it up. 😒
I will say that last one reminds me of a business meeting I was in. I was in my early 20s, everyone else at the table was 50+. During the meal break, they for some reason got ragging on the Millennials and how they couldn't get off their phones. I did pipe up pointing out there was one Millennial in the room (me), and that there was also only one person in the meeting who hadn't touched their phone the entire meeting (also me). Some people were chagrined, others immediately went to "oh but not you, you're different from the millennials we're talking about." 🙄
18:57 TBH this isn't even a matter of who the asshole is. You are allowed to leave a relationship that you're not happy in. Yes, communication is vital for lasting relationships, and both parties putting in work is necessary, but at the same time, there's no need to justify leaving someone that doesn't make you feel happy and respected, or takes your positive treatment for granted. At four months, if you're not feeling it and you aren't invested in making it work, let that sucker rip like a Beyblade.
You'll feel better, and he'll likely claim his ex "went crazy and dumped him," which is conveniently no longer your problem.
i hope ur making bank d'angelo.. this quantity and quality of content is a W/W for all of us
the story about the guy calling out his uncle for the phone addiction comment, i 100% believe it, it's happened to me. i remember my grandpa used to always say "those damned phones" when he saw my cousins and me on our phones, and now i throw it back at him when he's on his phone, even while watching tv, which he used to call us out on lmao
I throw it back on my dad all the time lmfao
In my mid twenties, I was living abroad and the person I thought was my best friend at the time asked me to be one of her two maid of honors. I accepted and planned take time off work and travel home for a couple of weeks to be in the bachelorette, bridal shower, and wedding. Even though it was a financial burden and living an ocean away I was going through with it, until I suddenly lost my job and thought I would be going home but my friends abroad rallied around me, fed me, loaned me money so I could stay and find another job. Anyway because of this I told her the situation and that I had to live off my savings for a while and I wouldn’t be able to make it to her wedding that was going to be in like 7 months. She got pissed, said it was the most important day and I wouldn’t be there, and I was so inconsiderate of all the planning….she never stopped to ask about my financial situation or even offer to fly me out if she really wanted me there. She stopped talking to me and honestly, best break up ever. I still see her from time to time because of mutual friends but I’m so glad she stopped talking to me because she is not a pleasant person after all. All this to say, being bridesmaids and maid of honors is way too expensive. I won’t have one if I ever get married. I love my friends to much!
idk why, but this is my new fav yt channel of the year
"let's begin the divorce process" for the best friends 😭 divorce is for EVERYONE
and we all say:
thank you for this meal d'angelo 🙏
So re: bridesmaid…yeah. My partner and I and our close friends were bridesmaids for our other friend’s wedding and we were out an entire paycheck by the end of it. And that was with an in state, kept in budget, modest bachelorette compared to the blowouts I have seen talked about. Honestly the worst part was paying for the outfits because for a lot of people it’s something they will never wear again, and still being expected to give a gift by the end was…mentally and financially taxing. My partner and I just eloped and we called it a day. I think wedding culture is super broken in the US, and it puts so many of us into awkward and precious situations…I never want to be part of a wedding party again 😭
Gravitational Polly Pockets.
I wonder if that life size Polly Pocket airbnb is large enough to have any quantifiable gravitational effects. 😂😂
...that Doctor Who episode with the 2D aliens where the TARDIS shrank on the outside, but a little bit more femme.
9:20 Say it with me "It's not holding a grudge. It's maintaining a boundary".
i was a 20yo broke college student when my boyfriend’s sister asked me to be her bridesmaid. it was as a favor to even out the groomsmen and i was new in the family so i said yes to help out. didn’t know i’d have to pay for the dress and the bachelorette weekend. thank god my boyfriend covered my hair appointment day-of and i did my own nails and makeup in my car outside of the salon 💀
I know someone who was a bridesmaid and the bride made them all get these "permanent bracelets" that have no clasp so you can't remove them, only cut them off. They were pretty pricey and iirc my friend had to get it cut off within a year because they were in hospital and couldn't have jewellery on. So ridiculous.
6:21 There is an entire sub dedicated to this called r/amitheangel
r/weddingshamers too there’s subs for all of this shit but no one cares lol
@@WarmZZy I care! Thank you!
8:10 you spend enough time online, and end up seeing yourself become what you most despise 😂
I've been asked to be a bridesmaid in two weddings. One was my aunt and uncle's. I was sixteen (almost 17) and they paid for everything. Bought all the bridesmaid dresses, didn't do a Bachelor or Bachelorette party, and covered all the costs of their own wedding. They were also getting married on a budget, and I think in full the wedding cost like $400? The other one was a friend's wedding when I was 19. I was expected to buy my own dress and pay for my own travel (I lived in Missouri, they lived in Louisiana). They ended up breaking up before I bought anything, though.
My sister and I aren’t super close. I was one of her bridesmaids and it was awful. She complained about everything I did, yelled at me, and was actually so bad even her friends were shocked. Weddings can make people act their worst so nah I’m 100% with the sister
I don’t know if everyone has said this but your intro with the “broadcasting in my room like RUclips used to be” is very catchy and recognizable :3
Yes, members of the wedding party pay for their own attire. However, brides are often sensitive and considerate enough to be aware of the general financial status of a 'best friend' to allow for choosing dresses that acknowledge budget differences among chosen bridesmaids. Also, $300 is probably average for a dress, but a trip cost may not be.