Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The "Friend Zone")
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- Опубликовано: 11 окт 2024
- www.BreakupBrad... - Should You Be Friends With Your Ex?
This is a question that I get asked all the time. It's really easy to be friends with your ex. After all, it's better than nothing, right? However, this usually isn't the best route to go if you actually want to get your ex back.
The first reason why you shouldn't be friends with your ex is because it prolongs recovery. You need to move on after your relationship, and you can't do that if you're still friends with your ex.
The second reason is that you need to make your ex miss you. You won't be able to do this if you're still around your ex all the time. In order for them to miss you, you need to vanish! Just disappear off their radar.
Let's talk about science for a second... relationships and breakups are kind of like drug addiction. Seeing your ex again is like having a hit of a drug -- and it's addicting. In order for your ex to miss you, you need to stop seeing your ex, cold turkey. That will make your ex miss you more.
The final reason is that you don't want to become their emotional dumping ground. You don't want to be their "breakup friend"... you want to be their lover, right? That is not helpful at all.
Need some help with your situation? You can sign up for my 1-on-1 coaching service here: www.BreakupBrad...
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I totally agree with you. Befriending with your ex is just dumb.
Yep. :-)
I mean, why would they say that to you? Won't they think that you'll get hurt more if you become friends with them and be stuck in the "friendzone" or "friends w/ benefits"?
yea very true😓
they seem dumb and selfish
What if your ex is ur best friend?
Your girlfriend is probably the luckiest girl on earth since you know a lot about relationship. Thanks a lot for all the advice :)
+Jemilyne Claire You meant my wife, right? :-) Thanks!
Jemilyne Claire yes
true..
@@BradBrowning Hey Brad what if you have kids together, and you need to keep taking the child there??Oh and what if he already come asking for you to get back in a week or so?Is that legit or not to be trusted?
In my quizz, I stated that we had daily contact, but this is over a yr later. We didn't have any contact at all for over a month. Then we gradually got started talking again. Now we talk or text about every day, but sometimes it might be a week before we actually see one another. We have never talked about relationships with someone else to each other.
Being friends with your ex doesn't work.
That's right.
The Cowboy 3 years ago I ended a long term relationship with a guy who is now my best friend and like a brother to me
Sammi did you know befriending exes is a trait mostly shown by narcissists and psychopaths....
The Cowboy my ex called me his Bestfriend..😐 I was confused 😭
What Brad is saying is absolutely true. That's what happened to me when I tried to stay friends with my ex after 7 months passed of being apart ( he was dating someone else when I wanted to get back ) so making them miss you is the key.
Thank you for the support, Sercan! :-)
@@BradBrowning my ex girlfriend getting to her girlfriend why she want be me part of wedding what I do ?????????.
Hello can you help me!!
My mom left my dad one month ago because she don't love my dad any longer. My dad has done no contact because he loves her and want her to come back. My mom want dad in the friend zone and she is texting and calling my father every day to see what he doing and she gets angry when his not response and texting angry and coming to our house.
What can my father do?? he wants my mom to move back but my mom will not! He loves her very very much please help!!
Hi Kim! You may be too young to handle this. Perhaps share my videos to your parents or your dad? This link in particular: ruclips.net/video/P-6MMmmObcQ/видео.html
Brad Browning should I tell
My
Ex I don’t want to be friends before I disappear?
I love this channel just because he actually cares! There's so many times i've seen a comment with his reply just below it. You're a wonderful man Brad!
Although not always on a timely manner as I've been very very busy recently. haha Anyway thank you for your support, I truly appreciate it! :-)
You said everything I needed to hear.
God bless the girl who told me to search your videos
:-)
This situation is actually happening to me right now,,
Then you'll know better than to be friends with him. Avoid that like the plague and get out of the friendzone, okay? Stay strong!
so .... i have a question how are they going to miss you if they tried to find someone else ... like if she has company and comfort how are they going to miss you?
That's a great question, Sam. Typically "no contact" will make your ex miss you regardless of they've found someone new or not. However, if there's a new person that's filled the void for them, there are certain tactics that you can employ to ensure your ex thinks of you in a positive light. Go to www.breakupbrad.com
Brad Browning I'm friends with my ex boyfriend and I still wan't him back how do I do that if I wan't him to miss me?
Cara D'agostino Seriously the video above answers to your question. Unless you are deaf, I think you really should listen to the video.
***** >:( I did listen AND I'M NOT DEAF IF U DON'T HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY THEN DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!
So why are you shouting? O_O
Hey, brad! just wanted to say I love your videos but i need your input on something so please do reply. I did no contact with my ex for about a month and after a month he called me saying oh we should start to text again and talk on the phone etc etc. btw this is long distance. I live in NY and he lives in florida and we have hungout a handul of times. i played it cool and didnt show too much interest and he didnt hit me up for a whole week and then he texted me saying how he doesnt want to be in a relatioship right now but i am the girl he wants to marry. Then didnt talk to me for a week and he calls me in a very rude tone of voice saying how he wants to be just friends and wants nothing from me other than friendship. i acted a little emotional because i was hurt and he still flat out said i want to be just friends and thats all. too play it cool i texted back saying ok yeah ur right we can be just friends, so whats up? and that came off of desperate because its like ok ill be whatever of yours just talk to me and he never texted me back and since that day we havent spoke at all and its been about 5 days. please reply and tell me what to do brad. Please and thank you so much!
It's important to give each other space, especially in this case where your ex is showing signs of confusion. A plethora of emotions coming from an ex is somewhat expected when a breakup is still fresh and this is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with this ex. You both need to clear your minds first, all right? A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I've discussed here, watch it to learn a few tips to understand your situation better: ruclips.net/video/RN6ndJZ0J-w/видео.html
Thank you for this video. I suggested friendship, after he broke up and he accepted it. I then offered to go to the movies together, he refused by being busy. I am now in no contact period. And it makes sense, really. Why would we place ourselves so low as to plead with someone to be with us. It shows lack of self-respect. I offered to meet, he refused, and that's all I can do. The ball is in his side of the court.
You're welcome! I'm glad you're starting to see the importance of doing this. Keep it up and always love yourself first. Anyway if you haven’t already, please like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
I wasn't friends with my ex for a well but it seem like she got over me so I said let's be friends and we're friends but she does the same things we use to do when we were dating
Well, have you been actively trying to get your ex back? Don’t wait for this person to have an epiphany. Keep track of what you've been doing to see if it's productive or not, as far as getting your ex back goes. Have you checked out my guide yet? It may be time to revamp your techniques. Before anything else though, take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting your ex back. Answer as honestly as possible, at www.breakupbrad.com/quiz Good luck!
@@BradBrowning in
I took this advice and stopped being friends with my ex. I’m the kind of person who tries to make things a bright story but I’m so happy I didn’t stay friends with him :) I’m happier now than when I was in a relationship even.
That's good to know!
My now ex-girlfriend and I broke up earlier today. She’s the one who ended the relationship, and she got more emotional than I did. But before we started dating, we were really close friends ever since we were kids. I mean, I’m not gonna go into extreme details, but as friends, we were both always there for each other during our some of our hardest times when we were younger, we always talked out our problems with one another, etc. And hell, that was just us as friends; we were just very close and supportive of each other like that. But her and I really don’t want to throw all of that away😓. Is it still a bad idea to stay friends with her?
It is a bad idea. You both need to heal first. You both have to process the breakup first and go through all that pain and slowly let go of the bad memories...It is a process, but this is what the "no contact" rule is for, to help both of you move forward from that pain. A reconciliation with an ex means there will be a new relationship between you two where the lessons of the past are taken into consideration in order to resolve it to create a better relationship in the future. Does that make sense? Give your ex time to let go of the bad memories, however, this won't happen overnight and for sure takes time, so don't rush. Follow the tips on my other vids, especially this one: ruclips.net/video/FLeP1eRCkCk/видео.html Good luck!
Thank you for all the breakup advices brad this means alot during my heartache days.. I get through alot of depression and when I saw your videos and advices I was seeing hope again..but unlike any other first time newbie in applying "no contact" I screw up sometimes. I dont messege her at all but sometimes I do stalk her facebook pages and react to her posts... I want to ask something im at day 16 of no contact should I be friends with her at facebook or not? Should I unfriend her and all her mutual friends just to be safe in applying no contact?? I hope to get a response.. thanks again brad! :)
Brad, I don't talk or contact my ex at all anymore, but she still follows me on Instagram and Snapchat and see's the stuff I upload (which is usually me having a good time with friends and some girls). Does this count as "disappearing"? Should I block them from these things so they don't see what I upload and totally disappear, or is this even better?
checkmyformplease1 As long as you're not contacting her in any way, then yes, this is considered as the "no contact" or what I'd like to call the recovery phase. It only gets bad if you keep looking at her profile to see what she's up to as it can go downhill for you and of course, you'd want to avoid that. :-)
Hey Brad, so my and my girlfriend ended on a bad note a few days ago and she had a negative view of me as a insecure and jealous guy. I just landed a job as a therapist and my confidence is riding super high. I asked her if she was already dating someone new and she replied "This is the kind of behavior that separated us apart" and I told her "I'm not asking out of insecurity, right now I'm riding very very high on life and I just landed my job as a therapist". She said "I am happy for you and you are in a great place. good luck to you and take care". I said "Hope all is well for you and the boys. We don't have to end this on a bad note. We're both good people. We can always be friends.". She replied "Yes, friends would be wonderful". Then I reminded her that disneyland is having the pixar fest this friday and if she wanted to go together and just chill. She replied "Sorry, but I'm not ready to hang out as friends. The break up is still new and I need time to heal." I replied "You know somewhere down the line if you're willing to give it a second try, I'm always open to it. Have a great day at work!".. Usually before when we broke up and I said something about giving a second try.. she would say "no thank you", but this time she didn't respond to that one and said "Thank you!" which is over course a reply to "have a great day at work!"
I'm wondering if being able to go out with her as "friends" which she knows I'm not trying to.. since we ended as me being very negative and lack of confidence.. she didn't ask to be friends. So if we were to go out one day and I showed the super fun confidence when we went on our first date (we were friends before we dated). What do you think?
Is that a good sign that she didn't shoot down that offer of giving a second try? and I am also starting my no contact rule starting today since I ended my text showing a very happy side of me.
Hi Brad, I am a gay man. Me and my bf broke up a month ago but he has been contacting me for a while. We play volleyball in the same sports complex and one evening he just came all of a sudden and gave me a hug surprisingly to which I gave a very cold reaction because I was shocked. He wanted to catch up on dinner but he canceled it because of my cold reaction on volleyball court. I somehow met him for coffee and apologized for my cold behavior but I also told him that I cannot be "just friends" with him because it's hurtful. He was crying a lot and said that he wants me in his life but I told him that I won't stay as just friends. Me and my bf are taking this week to think whether we want to be with each other or not and will be meeting on Saturday for dinner to express our decisions. If he says no, I will stop all contact with him. Do you have any suggestions for me?
Basically give yourselves time first. Based on your story, I don't think you both went without contacting each other yet? That should be a priority, instead of confusing yourselves more by meeting up and stuff. For the meeting itself, this should help: ruclips.net/video/JbEoz81in-Q/видео.html
Hi Brad, we met and he decided that he doesn't want to be with me because he thinks we are incompatible. I told him that if we can't be together in a relationship then we can't be friends as we both need time to heal and move on. Since then, we haven't been in contact at all. It has been two weeks. DO you think I still have a chance to have him back? I am not sure if he will contact me. I really love him :(
Brad, I have a complicated one. my ex and I were together all throughout high school. we talked about marriage, kids, a life together.
I recently moved a state over due to a nasty divorce between my mother and father.
she promised she'd come and visit since I was so far away.
she worked and I made music for a living.
In her free time, she started to not respond to my messages for days and always hung with her friends and never wanted to spend any time with me so I ended it.
she didn't even really care and started throwing tons of things in my face like not being there for her when I always was and was one of the only ones there.
she recently started smoking weed and drinking alcohol with her coworkers and has become an entirely different person. she used to be down to earth and loved talking to me and spending time together when we could. Now, the only time she messages me is when I message her first. I miss her so much and love her more than anything. she tells me she "Loves me in a romantic way but never wants to date me again" but she wants to be friends. what do I do?
I'm very confused and need some advice.
any reply would be appreciated.
thanks.
Hey man, sorry to hear about the breakup and the situation with your parents. From the looks of it, both of you are having a hard time adjusting to this distance. How long have you been in this long distance dynamic? I say to give yourselves the chance to both adjust to this change, since it's a major one. Cut off contact and let her miss you first, all right? The distance may have frustrated her which caused her to act up since thinking about being in a long distance relationship is very different to being in one, when you experience it firsthand. So stay strong. Watch this, too, to help guide you further: ruclips.net/video/5nfWRJRrnAs/видео.html
What you're saying is so true. Great video thanks.
Hyeryeong Park You're welcome! Make sure to subscribe, I'd really appreciate it! :-)
Me and my ex did no contact for a month. Its been 4 months since we broke up. The first two months I was not aware of the no contact rule. I begged to get back together and she wanted to but wasn't 100% sure. We sort of faded away and certain things happened (Met new people). We were both furious at each other, so i Insisted on no contact for awhile. We have broke the no contact after 1 month and she said she does not want to make things work right now. But she doesn't want to have me out of her life completely. Being friends feels like it will build more attraction then not talking at all, because If there Is no contact between us, I know for a fact that she will forget and move on.We aren't like most couples, we were insanely close. I've checked out a lot of your videos, but it seems like no contact did no good for me and my relationship with her, so being friends seems like my only other option. I told her we should start fresh and put the past behind us and focus on the future and happiness.
The "no contact" rule is just the first phase of a three-phase process in getting your ex back. It's not the end game. Anyway if you're very close, then being just friends wont' work. Not until at least you've healed and/or no longer want her back as your girlfriend. You both need to transition accordingly since feelings can't be switched off just like that. So you ought to make a tough decision whether you want her back as a friend or as a girlfriend. Remember, the boundaries won't be clear and you're technically both free to date other people. Wouldn't it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you're only "friends" now, don't you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively at ruclips.net/video/yd6pvNVeHjI/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/sS4V4IOcOgs/видео.html but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!
I just wanted to say thank you. Your videos and program helped me a lot !
+Kayla Shane I'm glad to hear that and you're welcome, Kayla! Feel free to like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
Be only friend with an ex if both of you have no romantic feelings for each other. Be 110% sure no romantic feelings exist at all. Then you can be friends.
But if some of you or both have romantic feelings, don't be friends.
The goal about not be friend with an ex, is not about get your ex back. It's about get yourself back.
But if you really want your ex back don't be friend.
Do you really want your ex talking about their new partner and they will be hang out together this weekend? No you don't. It will hurt like hell.
I agree. Thanks for your input!
You're sooo for real my brother!!!! Lol
Hey! I am so frustrated right now! He asked me to be friends with him but i denied ...but i end up missing him like hell ..and now i am screwed.
So should I ask my ex now immediately after she broke up with me, to be friends or should I wait, like end of no contact-phase?
I have already agreed on being friends. I knew it was a terrible idea but out of emotions I did it. Now suddenly out of nowhere I have disappeared from her life for 2 days. Will it work?
Lots of folks seem to be oblivious about it, so here goes: the "no contact" rule, once completed, is just the first phase. There are two more phases to go through if you want an ex back, and the third is to rekindle/rebuild the attraction with an ex. Learn the basics here: ruclips.net/video/aeGNPBdpnsI/видео.html
Brad, dating this guy 5months in Riyadh,he went to meet my family to make our relationship official to my parents while on vacation but when i was back discovered he was with another while im away...i left did not freakout..eventually they broke up after a month..now my Ex occasionally hitting me up but ignoring him..now he stopped contacting me...i believe i love him and want him back but reluctant to make my 1st step...what should i do?
Sorry to hear that. Learn the basics here to help guide you: ruclips.net/video/aeGNPBdpnsI/видео.html and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential! Check it out at www.breakupbrad.com
My first experience had a boyfriend who broke up with me, on August 8, 2020, because of his pleading and using his aunt’s demise as a bribe trick me into this friend zone, and I still feel trap by it. I was forced to be a friend and I want to get out of this friend zone, his ex-girlfriend Anna ( the girl before he met me) used these video tactics on him and frankly hurt him badly.
she did the right thing and for me will do that on him.
Yeah, don't be friends on him for reasons I already mentioned in the vid.
Hi Brad... this really a learning for me.. thank You.
+Irish Grace Araño You're welcome! Feel free to like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
Sure Brad.. thank you..
Hey Brad, my ex and I just "broke up" a few days ago and after a day or two, we started talking to each other in a fun and happy manner similar to that of when her and I were together. She made a sort of joking question to be friends and I responded in a pretty unusual way. I told her that I have already made plans to help myself and become better, that being said, I think we can be friends under the impression that I do very much want you back, but we can be friends until we see that have worked on those things. I have asked her if my proposal is clear and she does completely understand that I want her back. According to her best friend (who is also my friend too) she said that my ex still loves me, it's just that she started to feel like it wasn't as strong as it used to be. She also told me that she wanted to be friends for now because she didn't want to hurt me anymore and make the relationship too one-sided. To my surprise, the past few days after becoming friends has brought out the nice and sweet side of her again and one thing I noticed is that she has a sparkle in her eye again when we look at each other (in the end of the relationship, she would hardly ever look me in the eye) and I notice her looking at me more often when we're together. She makes kind of a joking reference to things like "we can't do those things, we're 'friends' remember?" I feel that there is 90% sarcasm and maybe 10% seriousness to it. I don't really know what it going on, but could this be a good thing or a bad thing that me and my ex are going through?
NightMareOSU Hello there, this is a tricky situation that you're going through because people don't change emotions overnight... and this is the part where having no contact comes in, to make you both (especially her) think from a clearer perspective. She also hasn't gotten the chance to miss you and you're at risk for being taken for granted if you technically are always there for her. Make sense? The reason for the breakup, most of the time, is likely due to a loss of attraction and from there, it becomes a process to get her back, sometimes a long one at that, but never to be friends right away after a breakup. You need to rebuild it naturally and that takes time as well. There's just too many things that can go wrong and it's usually too much trouble than it's worth if you stay friends right away. It's also important that you don't overanalyze what she says or do -- again, much better to cut off contact first. I have a full-length video at my website that explains how this process works, so I suggest you watch that presentation at @
hey brad I see my ex every Friday and sunday for church activities how does that work
Hey Sean, you should be watching this. All the tips are here and follow it down to a tee: How To Act Around Your Ex (6 Tips For Handling Post-Breakup Encounters)
hey brad! i am interested in your one on one coaching, but it says to keep the emails brief how brief exactly? and am i allowed to send you screenshots (pictures) of our text messages so you can tell me what he means in his texts and guide me into doing whats next and or how to reply?
The coaching form has a limited number of characters for the "initial" email. But after that, yes, you can send an attachment if it's relevant to your situation.
the breakups made her really depressed and reckless so i was thinking that staying would help her come back to me.. i thought staying would have her keep venting her emotions to me and we'd still be talking and then she'll start finding safety with me and then choose to get back with me
I understand what you're saying, man. I really do. The harsh reality, however, is that most dumpers already have the "moving on" mentality or looking to a new direction by the time a breakup happens or even way before they drop the bomb on you. It’s to your best interest to accept that there's nothing you can do about that for the time being. Cutting off contact for around a month is the best choice because doing the opposite will make you look pathetic or clingy... and those traits are very unattractive…as opposed to being happy. If you act happy, your ex will wonder what he/she’s missing. Quite frankly, who doesn’t want to be around happy/fun people? Make sense now? The bottom line is you ought to show that you respect their decision and you're mature enough to deal with whatever comes your way and that you're taking care of yourself and putting you first - irrespective of what your ex does. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about this at www.breakupbrad.com and pay attention to the stuff I talked about here: ruclips.net/video/T_W_ilf9x6w/видео.html
She's saying that she broke up with me so she wouldn't be a burden to me anymore.. She sees that I'm doing better and it seems to push her further, making her think that I'm better off without her.. I don't know how to stop her from feeling that way
Me and my ex boyfriend were together for almost 9 months. He broke up with me before our anniversary. And we had wayyyyy more good memories and very less bad. Do you think he'll crawl back after a 30 days or earlier? We've been threw alot together (in a good way than bad). A week after i cried to him and crap he said he doesnt see a future..then 3 days later he said he does but in the far future. Im the best gf he ever had and same with me. He broke up with me bc of the "disrespect" which i didnt see and bc of our arguements. Our arguements were dumb so dumb. People at my age (15) are going threw wayyyyyy worse but he says stop comparing people to us. -__- i love him he says he loves me and says im always his baby. So i feel like there's an 80% chance of him wanting me back. Idk im lost. Help.
Symphony Taylor I've responded to your previous comments, please refer to those. :-)
this one happened to me and ot doesn't help at all it makes things miserable
Were you friends with your ex or have you cut off contact yet?
Brad Browning on and off slowly I Turning off my phone it's a good way for me
Brad Browning again I appreciate you giving me a little help or hope thanx
Hello!! My ex broke up with me two weeks ago after a year and a half because she lost feelings towards me. We hung out a few days ago and she says she just wants to be friends and hang out and text like we always do but she doesn't know how she feels at the moment like if her feelings will come back or not. We have planned to go to Japan for a holiday for a few weeks which is in a month and a half and there's no turning back because there's no refund. Should I try the no contact now and not see her until we leave for Japan? And its our first time going over seas together, do you think this holiday trip can bring her feelings back for me if I don't see her or contact her? Thank you!
Yes, go ahead and do that. Make sure you really work on yourself during the time you're separated! :-)
Leon Johnston hey, I’m interested in hearing what happened between you two?
Did u end up together?
Hi brad first I already said yes for become friends but after I text this to her and cut off contact to her ..Hi , I'm sorry .Actually I was thinking . Being friends is not good at all . I was happy being in a romantic relationship with u . If that wasn't working out then It's probably a better idea spend some time apart . I wish you all the best..take care .please tell me is I did right ??
She said if you want I can delete your number 😰. What should I do ??
As long as you follow through and really cut off contact for at least a month, then yes, that was a good message.
Hey Brad! Thanks for the link you sent me last week. This is all helpful and all, however one question still remains in my head 24/7, is my ex in a rebound relationship even if our relationship ended a year ago and we became friends with benefits after? I found out through social media about his new girl after weeks of us stop being friends with benefits. My heart stopped immediately. I still love him even if it is as friends or nothing at all. But even if I see them together in person, what should I do?
+Veronica Arcelay You're welcome. Thanks for understanding that I can't backtrack though, so I'm going by what you're telling me now. Anyway if it's been a year, and your arrangement had been friends with benefits until a new girl comes along...no, it's not a rebound relationship, sorry. This type of arrangement, considering how you're looking to get him back, should've been avoided early on. You may have became his emotional sponge plus benefits by sticking around. I suggest you consider moving on from this, all right? Take care!
smart guy
+deshawn anthony Thanks! Feel free to like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
Hey Brad you are absolutely brilliant so far in helping me get through my fresh break up. I would like some one on one coaching. I have dropped you and email through the right channel but I didn't get a reply. Is there away for us to work together?
+Xiaoming Huang Yes, we're pretty much interacting through my coaching program already. :-) Sorry for the late response on here as I've gotten incredibly busy lately. I'll make sure to respond accordingly to your email though. Talk soon!
We are too! Thank you Brad 😀
I was only friends with her for 3 days. I couldn't do it because I wanted us back together. So I sent her a heartfelt message that I'm letting go. Though I didn't want to, it was only way we can move forward with growth. Do I wish I can still see her like I used to? You're damn right. She was a damn fine woman, but her insecurities and jealousy just pushed me away so bad. It's about to be a month since I last talked with her.
Hey man, I think I've just answered your concern on the previous/the same video with you asking similar issues in those comments, so please refer to those. :-)
Here's an update, she contacted me after 2 months and she's into a new relationship with this guy who was waiting for us to break up. She's been trying to be "friends" but I didn't really give that vibe. I think the only thing I said to her leaving the door extremely open was im here if you need anything. She tried contacting me again the next 2 weeks and I only gave her a one word response. Haven't paid too much attention to her because I only would want her romantically, and not just friends.
Absolutely not!!! When my ex sent me a breakup text he immediately asked me to be his friend. I told him we cannot be friends now that it's over. He became irate and told me me he was blocking my me and to do the same. I replied "Block executed!." Not only did I block him, I called my mobile phone carrier and had him placed on no outbound/inbound text list. NEXT!!
Sorry to hear that. I guess you're moving on? You did great by avoiding falling into the friendzone though. Watch this to help you out: ruclips.net/video/01wvLSaS9_I/видео.html
Brad Browning Yes. it was best gor me to move on as much as i love him. He was very narccistic, selfish and immature at 70 years old. You can't change anyone but yourself. Thank you for your valuable advice and kind words. You are awesomeness!
They can't feel what you're feeling if they're a sociopath.
Yeah, that's a given, I think?
Hello. I've read your book and watched several videos and I have a question. The book talks about after the NC period, to keep things easy breezy and when talking and meeting up, making sure you convey you just want a platonic relationship. So what if he says something like, "I'm glad we are still able to be just friends"? I understood that it is a good think because that gives you time to hang out in hopes to reignite attraction. So I'm a bit confused.
Just go along with it BUT actions matter more, so don't be really "friends" with him, which shouldn't be a problem if you follow the guide down to a tee. Don't overanalyze it! ;)
Hey Brad, it's been tough, I did like you said and told her that I had alot going on (a funeral) and I just can't be there (for her) when I do all this stuff and just treated like a dumpster for her.. She tried calling me once @ work and I didn't answer, 1 because I have to maintain it and 2 because my supervisor was right there, but there has been no contract whatsoever.. Am I still going about this the right way??
Hi cypher, in this situation, it is important that you analyze if establishing contact with her is right for you. Does her contacting you make you feel comfortable or do you think you need more time and space? Oftentimes, we tend to always think about our ex's emotions first with little to no thought about how we feel. There is no right or wrong answer about when it is right to establish contact as long as you consider yourself first and your situation. Make sense? This advice is for when you already went through the period of not contacting her at all for at least a month. If you haven't yet, then do that first.
Hi Brad! Great video! Me and my ex broke up on good terms he initially said it was temporary and he’d want to be friends again and ease back in but that he was just going through stuff. Things got messy from rumors our friends were telling us which made him start to act out. He asked to meet up today to discuss it and he told me he was acting that way cuz he was angry (from lies friends were telling him). He said he wants to give it another week then start hanging out as friends and whatever happens between us happens. Is this good?
It is, at least he's still open to the possibility of a future with you. Got lots of tips here on my channel on how to to that. How'd it go?
It's not the friend zone if you've already been a couple before.
It's a different thing of course if you're the one who dumped this ex... but not if you've been the one who's dumped, man.
Yo Brad I just wanted to thank you for all the time and effort you've put into everybody's relationships and heartache, also I wanted to know if I was already talking to my ex after the break up and accepted we be friends and she's currently not responding (only today) the entire day, how do I apply the no contact rule ? Like do I go upon it slowly because she did indeed tell me she can't picture me being out of her life completely even during the time she broke up with me she was hoping I didn't leave, so I stayed her friend, how do I slowly go away when she's responding less nd less everyday Bro? please help, thank you once again for all the videos Brad, you're a legend.
Apply the "no contact" rule by sticking to your resolve to NOT contact her for at least a month. In other words, just do it! :-) It's a terrible idea to be friends with her. The boundaries won't be clear and you're technically both free to date other people. Wouldn't it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you're only "friends" now, don't you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively at ruclips.net/video/yd6pvNVeHjI/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/sS4V4IOcOgs/видео.html but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!
Oki so I did try the no contact rule part and as I was about to do it (i left a vn saying stuff like chat some time family's over etc) so she read and blocked me on everything :| like it was a bit drastic how she reacted to it too and I was gonna leave for 30 days nd no contact also I sent her pics I thought she didn't have of us and told her she can do anything she wants with them too, which I think stirred up really really good memories and messed up her head towards her 'final decision' on us breaking up so she didn't respond and blocked me on IG FB and whatsapp xD I'm taking it better than I expected and kept a calm and cool head too, never panicked and messaged her friends and what not and thought it'd be better this way too coz our chat ended on really good pics of us and nothing really tense so whenever she does go back to our chat for even a second she'll see that, nor am I being a creepy weirdo and tryna get hold of her etc, and I was gonna apply the no contact rule anyways, so this'll help me apply it even better right ? What're your thoughts Bro? :)
So my situation is hard . Me and gf dates for 10 months and just broke up last week . She said she still wants to be friends & we can still text & hang out as friends . But she said I didn’t try enough for her or put her first in the relationship & she said the guys that she’s been snap chatting recently , she said those guys actually try for her & she said it feels nice to have someone actually try for her . Should I try to win her back or should I fall off the map for a few weeks completely and make her miss me organically and do the no contact period for like 2-3 weeks ??? Thank you for your time & response
Trying goes both ways when it comes to being in a relationship. Unless you've ignored her in the past or didn't put any effort, I don't really see it as not trying. With regards to being friends, don't do it, man. She's lost attraction for you and it's a terrible idea to be friends with her. You need to cut off contact for at least 30 days first. Silence is key and here's why: ruclips.net/video/zw0ChuXCEmw/видео.html If you continue being friends right away, the boundaries won't be clear and you're technically both free to date other people. Wouldn't it be pure torture if your ex dates a rebound in front of you because you're only "friends" now, don't you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively at ruclips.net/video/pv_cjzhVKAY/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/sS4V4IOcOgs/видео.html but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with bonus materials for texting. Good luck!
this might be a very late comment but I need some advice, please hope you can get back to me or anyone in the comment section. I recently just went back to school and I saw my ex and he said we were friends but yet hasn't said a word to me, homecoming is coming up and I want him to ask me but I know my chances are slim. I do not know whether to start talking to him more or leaving him be, I have already tried the non-communication and it hasn't worked as well as I hoped. Is there any possible way for me to still be with him or are my chances too low. I miss him but have been keeping my distance, not sure what the correct thing to say or do is, can you please help me. Anything is great, hope you're doing good!
Once you've already completed the full 30-day "no contact" rule and assuming you did it correctly, then the texting tips here will be a good starter: ruclips.net/video/XonMtLFo000/видео.html but make sure you tick off the checklist here first: ruclips.net/video/BAhMrmw3Sms/видео.html This means you take time focusing on the second phase and eventually the third phase when the time is right. This won’t happen overnight, of course, but it’s something you ought to continue to work on to the point where you’re gradually building attraction again. This is what my guide is for. Have you checked it out yet? It's too complicated to explain everything on here, but here's an overview of these phases and what to expect in each one: ruclips.net/video/aeGNPBdpnsI/видео.html Good luck!
Hi Brad, how do I apply 30 days no contact if we are coworkers, and have to see each other everyday and talk? I am now only talk about the projects we are working on.
Do limited contact instead and keep any limited conversation you have strictly work related. You've got a long way to go but for starters, you can follow the tips here to prevent things from getting even more awkward than it has to be: ruclips.net/video/GTjEAGJWTuA/видео.html AND ruclips.net/video/dDZrnNh8LOg/видео.html
I just had to subscribe because you have explained everything that has make me to feel better because my ex is persuaded to love his family members I can't be friends in that anymore I just believe there is no future again within us, thanks so much ur the great❤❤👍👍👍😊😊
Hi Coach, I need some advice. My ex and I broke up about a month and half ago and I did as many said and told her that "I do not want to be friends as I have enough friends, but if you ever want to be my lady please reach out to me." This comes a couple of weeks after asking me would I be okay with friends. One day during her blow up (after I drop off a birthday gift which she says wasnt too friendly like) she states "well its clear you don't want to be friends and says she is blocking me and dont expect to hear from her. It has been exactly 3o days off NC on my end but the twist is I see her weekly at church though we dont speak. Why would she get mad by me saying I dont want to be friends?
A birthday gift is too much and can seem stalker-ish to an ex who's just dumped you. As to being mad, she's just reacting to being hurt and is not a sign of anything really.
thank you for replying back to me I really appreciate it. where can I buy your book here in the US. I'm not a big fan of buying stuff on line or giving my credit card number to anyone and thanks again.
You're welcome! You won't have to because you can opt for the Paypal payment system instead. Click the link here: www.breakupbrad.com Here's an overview of how my Ex Factor Guide can help: ruclips.net/video/lzD5cllG3h4/видео.html
Hey Brad, great tips. Subscribed! Mine's a rather tricky situation. My gf of a week just broke up with me because I'm leaving to travel the world in a week and won't be back for 3 years. We have outstanding chemistry and she has everything I look for in a girl. I'd like to get back with her when I return home if she's still available. She suggested we should stay friends. Should I accept and remain in contact with her throughout the years if I want another shot with her? Or should I initiate no contact even though we only went out for a week? We're both 18 by the way. Thanks!
Braxton Wright The timing quite sucks, ei? :-) The best thing to do right now is to let go. If your chemistry is outstanding as you think it is, she may be available by the time you get back and/or get around to it somehow. You can opt to be friends if you can handle your own emotions and not mess it up, and granted how there isn't a strong foundation yet, it depends on her own actions as well, otherwise your best bet really, is to move on for now. Good luck and enjoy your travel!
It does indeed! Definitely didn't plan on getting involved with a girl before I left. Thank you for taking the time to get back to me. I will take your advice and move on. I see now there is no need to get hung up over one girl when there are plenty more to meet on my travels! Thanks again for the advice. Have a great week.
Hey brad!!I have been watching your videos and it does make me feel better...He broke up with me a month ago...and recently I saw that he is with some other girl and I'm sure that they would date soon or they must be dating I don't exactly know...u said that it's a rebound relationship...so should I do the "no contact process" for this situation ? The reason for our break up he said was about the future and v are loosing our dear ones an all!!I'm n a doubt that did he break up with me to date her?...idk...I'm really depressed..and I'm not understanding...should I do the "no contact process "in this situation? I actually kinda started!!I need ur advices brad!!
Yes, completely cut off contact for at least a month. The reasons he gave you for breaking up were most likely not the actual reasons, so it's important to take this time off to clear your head so you can see for yourself what the real issues were, okay? Watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology tricks and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise, at www.breakupbrad.com
+Brad Browning
v have vacations coming up...and it's for 2 months...and day after tomorrow is his bday...should I wish him brad?
Thank you very much!!!! Your work is amazing. I wish you the best in life !!!! Your words have a good effect on me, they give me more strength,thank you again!!!!
+Stela Enache You're welcome, Stela! Feel free to like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
Hi Brad! What if I already finished 30 no contact rules! And we are classmates and see each other everyday, should i talk to him?
The texting tips here will be a good starter: ruclips.net/video/uN_XAgHjaFM/видео.html but make sure you tick off the checklist here first: ruclips.net/video/BAhMrmw3Sms/видео.html This means you take time focusing on the second phase and eventually the third phase when the time is right. This won’t happen overnight, of course, but it’s something you ought to continue to work on to the point where you’re gradually building attraction again. This is what my guide is for. Have you checked it out yet? It's too complicated to explain everything on here, but here's an overview of these phases and what to expect in each one: ruclips.net/video/aeGNPBdpnsI/видео.html Good luck!
This is my current situation.
He asked me, can u plz be a friend, and I want to restart our relationship. But now now my complete romance and attraction gone away. I feel be friends. I still love ur look, character every thing. But i don't feel u as my partner.(.like thiz.and he was sad and painful at that time.) There is no other relationships for him.. Plz help me i love him alot😪
Your ex is most likely lying about the reason of the breakup so try not to fall for that. Discussed that here: ruclips.net/video/ZuHWCWeG1xs/видео.html However, the bottom line is your ex has significantly lost attraction. Watch what I’ve explained here and watch the entire length of the video to gain full understanding, as well as know what to do: y2u.be/E9wG_ErBQoI It’s important to rebuild the attraction naturally so your ex will be amenable to working things out, eventually. This is what my guide is for but you can also learn the basic principles of my 3R system here and watch the vid til' the end so you don't end up missing the important points: ruclips.net/video/aeGNPBdpnsI/видео.html and the golden rules here: ruclips.net/video/1kJ1ybuFIHE/видео.html
Hello Brad! I recently attempted the NC rule about a month ago and then she contacted me 2 weeks later. We saw each other because I thought i was fine and because I will see her in a few months because of college semester, but i wasn't fine and I was acting a little nervous around her and she knew. I never text or call her but she always does and i respond late to play it cool. Should I go NC again by just not telling her or tell her that I need more space or what? right now I do still love her and seeing her and talking to her through texts/calls made realize that again.
Gon Freecss If you're already in the second phase, there's no need to cut off contact, really, I assume you've already completed that part? Use this as a guide: ruclips.net/video/aeGNPBdpnsI/видео.html but I suggest you read my Ex Factor Guide for the full details at www.breakupbrad.com
Brad Browning Hey thanks for the reply and i think i did but recently, I told her that it is best that we do not contact each other until school which is in a month an a half. did i really screw up? please tell me the truth. thanks!
I’m currently friends with my long distance ex who broke up with me a few months ago (she already did no contact on me, before returning and asking to be friends) and considering doing no contact due to some recent friction. The problem is, we’re in a chatroom with a mutual group of friends, and I don’t really want to forfeit my space to her.
If I talk in the chat, she usually responds. We both have the more dominant personas in the group, so often when we interact we end up defaulting into this flirty banter mode that takes over the chat. Sometimes it goes smoothly, sometimes she seems to pull back mid conversation - like she suddenly remembered we aren’t together anymore, and other times she teases/taunts me in some rather hurtful ways (although she did that in the months leading up to our relationship too, so I don’t really know what to think).
Sorry to hear. The distance will always be a major culprit. Is this long distance scenario temporary? Because if it isn't, then it's good as over. Watch/review and apply the pointers here first: ruclips.net/video/GQY4N04uvtA/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/5nfWRJRrnAs/видео.html
Hey brad. I was good friends with a girl for about 6 months before we started dating. We had a spectacular 2 months then in the last month we kinda grew apart due to school stress and work. We broke up and she asked if I wanted to be friends and I already said yes. That was about a week ago, and she hasn't contacted me since. I am in my first week of no contact, but should I send her a text saying that I can't be friends or that I don't want to be? Or do I just keep going along with the no contact and tell her after the 30 days?
I told her that In not sure if we can be friends right now. That I was happy being in a relationship with her. Told her no offense and wished her well. She replied by saying K. Well this is why I didn't really think it was a good idea to date you in the first place. What to do?
+Zack Smith Continue on with "no contact" without saying anything. It's important to set the tone early on and NOT agree to be her friend. If you feel you've been friendzoned, here's how to get out: ruclips.net/video/sS4V4IOcOgs/видео.html
Ex and I still play in a couple bands together so we have be friends to keep the stage chemistry and writing happenin. Been 4 months and I moved across the state short term cause this is devastating. Go back and forth for gigs and rehearsing. Been a week since i moved out of her house and been employing no contact accept for bandchat on fb where all members chime in. On that its all business. Havent called or texted her since I left a week ago. Going up there next weekend for gig and rehearsal. Ill be staying with her in her bonus room. Our music chemistry and physical attraction ( sex ) is of the charts are 2 of many things that really bonded us I may sign up for one on one coaching cause I truly think this is a complex situation cause we have a working relationship. Been watching all your vids and am a member. Any advice when I see her next weekend. Thanks
Sorry to hear about all this happening. However, don't sacrifice your band because of the breakup. This is actually one of the cases where the “no contact” rule is actually an exception...but DON'T initiate random contact in any way and don’t make any unnecessary chitchats, all right?I've discussed it in these videos, as well as how to handle it: ruclips.net/video/zKhNHhEmYMg/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/ydeES3WU1Uc/видео.html Okay? Good luck!
My ex and I broke up just over a week ago after dating for just over 5 months and being friends since before then. She told me why and after a few days of zero contact and told her I was making an effort to change and asked if we could fix/start over with our relationship. She said no but wants to stay friends and said we can call/text each other whenever. We aren't on bad terms whatsoever. I still love her very much so I accepted which I now know could've been a problem. She contacted me first and did so a few times throughout the week. She did things like ask to borrow a movie from me, told me about something going on outside my dorm (we're in college), a snapchat of a song that came on that read "thought of you," asked to borrow a phone charger and we hung out for a bit the other day which was weird to say the least. I don't know what to do, and while I've been told the best move is to ignore her, she and I have class together twice a week so seeing her is inevitable. Again I still really love her and I'd do anything to get back with her, especially now that the semester is ending. What do I do?! I really need some help
JeRkEy952 I don't suggest being friends with her. It will only let you become stuck more than you allow and yes, that's a wrong move. Watch my other videos on how to get out of the friendzone if you think you're already deep in it with her. You can't ignore her since you're at the same class, but don't go out of your way to talk to her. Again, this stuff is in my videos where you'll get some tips: ruclips.net/video/ydeES3WU1Uc/видео.html
Great video Brad, makes sense. I recently reconnected with my ex girlfriend since October 2020. We've known each other for like 12 years since 2009. I helped her out financially and she paid me back abit. We agreed to be friends. But I still like her and have feelings. Once I got news that she had a boyfriend the whole time and I thought that I might have a chance to rekindle, I was wrong. I Confronted her. Long story short, I did everything for that girl. And if she can't give me what I want, better I fade away slowly and not do anymore favors for her. She wants to remain friends with me. I took it again but I know in my mind I want more. No ultimatum here, me and her booth feel down because I spent way more time with her then her boyfriend these past 5 months. I didnt have sex with her because of covid 19. And I'm waiting on my vaccine first. Should I keep her around still, go cold turkey and not eliminate her completely yet and back of to have another chance with her?? The long history is what keeps this alive?
So in essence, you helped her out financially but what do you get out of it? If you want to take a risk, try to ask her out on a friendly date and see where it goes.
Thanks for ur video! I totally agree with u! and in case our ex sees us just as a friend or wants us only as a friend, what can we do to change the situation and make us see us, lover?
I recommend you to employ the 30-day "no contact" rule and be mindful of the tips in the following videos to help you out: y2u.be/gUBNd6pDINM AND make sure you don't make the number one mistake here: y2u.be/1cBpNrDDHnw
So once you've completed the no contact phase, watch my texting tips on how to re-establish contact with your ex. This is only one among the many texting tips posted across my channel. Start with these: ruclips.net/video/XonMtLFo000/видео.html AND y2u.be/RggluigF74E but if you're still lost about what to do despite the tips sprawled on my channel, then you may want to sign up for my one-on-one email coaching at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching Best of luck!
what if im the one who tells him I wanted to be friends for now? 1 week later he told me that he wanted to stay friends too but he never iniate the convo and his reply to mine are cold and dry. i want him back and had done the 'all 3 bad text message' as listed in one of your video to him this week and he hasn't replied to them. should i do the clean slate text then go NC? or i should just start the NC without apologizing?
It's too soon for all that. It's like ripping a band-aid slowly. Don't delay the inevitable. Reference is here, too: ruclips.net/video/pv_cjzhVKAY/видео.html
Hi Brad
Me and my ex broke up 2.5 months ago and we stayed friends, we see each other once a week either for a meal or a movie, bowling etc. I didn't know it was bad until watching your videos. Is it too late for the no contact rule?
It's still important to put the "no contact" rule into priority because if you've been in touch after the breakup too soon, then you BOTH aren't taking the time to process the breakup and been acting like it hadn't happened. Burying the problems which had caused the breakup in the first place is the first step towards a doomed relationship. Make sense now? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching
Hi brad I got dumped a month ago and have been CRYIMG to him snd begging this whole time with no luck. I talk to him everyday Should I try the no contact Rule or is it too late?
AZul Anderson Whatever you do, don't be friends with him. I'm in no position to say whether it's too late or not since I don't know your entire situation. I suggest you read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to properly go about this, though, and watch this video too for some tips: ruclips.net/video/itSm2XnQAzI/видео.html
This question is in regards to the last part of your video where you talk about what if you already said yes to being friends. You say to just naturally fade away by not replying back here and there until you disappear. So what's the step after that?
It helps to learn the fundamentals here: ruclips.net/video/aeGNPBdpnsI/видео.html
I struggle to find any one video that involves no contact that applies to my situation;1) He started leaving me in July and came back over the summer for 3 weeks (separate occasions) and we were sleeping together over 2 months, he was saying he loved me and wanted to come home.2) We have 3 kids together. So he comes over every morning for the school run and every evening because I work in London.3) I don't know if I count the July era as the start of the break up or when he officially said he was done. exactly one month ago...4) I started no contact for 2 weeks (only speaking about the kids) and then he said "I want to stop all this and aim to be friends", since then we've been messaging jokes back and forth and acting almost like we were except for the elephant in the room , us not talking about feelings. I offer him a coffee each morning and then some days we text back and forth all day, other days we don't text much at all...5) We have been together 8 years, married for one. We have disabled children and debts together. He's moved in with his mum. I've watched so many videos and read so many books, now I'm all confused as to where I am. I sort of did no contact then he said he wanted to be friend, I agreed because us ignoring each other during the kid swap would leave me in tears each time when he wouldn't look at me or come in the house. I am a natural peace maker. So I'm guessing I should try no contact again and fade away like you said?
Sorry to hear that. If things seem hopeless and you're wanting to save the marriage on your own, my clients found their peace by having applied the tips similar to the ones I mentioned on these videos: ruclips.net/video/F1nFUvtof7Y/видео.html AND ruclips.net/video/lvH0STXVqdI/видео.html If you're still having trouble, consider signing up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching
Hey Brad,
I did the no contact rule after my ex boyfriend broke up with me for a week and a half and reached out to him again through text. I didn't talk about the past and kept the conversation upbeat and positive. We've been talking more again but he still seems cold and kind of distant to me. I think he still wants to talk because he always says at the end of the conversation to text him in the evening "if I want". He's also been complaining to me about how sad he is about having lost a "good friend" at the university he is attending and last night he was going on about how bored and lonely he was. He makes no mention of appreciating my support or saying he misses me though...yet he seems to want to stay in regular contact. Not really quite sure what to do at this point? At this point he's treating (and thinks of me) merely as a friend and I don't know what to do to get him to "open up" like he used to. And I don't want to overdo or push anything. He also seems to want me to contact him first and he's only reached out to me first once, what does that mean? I haven't brought up anything about the past and have been just keeping the conversations happy and positive even though he seems to be the depressed one now and it used to be the other way around before the breakup. Do you have any pointers about what I can do to get him back?
kuhlekatze Hello there, a week and a half is too soon to be talking again. Realize his words where he referred to you as a "good friend." I hate to say this but you're making things complicated and in danger of getting in the friend zone or becoming an emotional tampon so he can get over this very breakup with you. 5 Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back Emotions during the first 30 days of the breakup is up and down, and this why it's best to stay away from him and not interact for a good while. You've simply haven't given him enough time to miss you. I suggest to cut off contact right away and stick to within the time I recommended. There is a time to be talking to him again, but it's not now because as I said, it's too soon. Get my guide so you'll get the complete details (it's too long to discuss on here) as to how to go about getting him back. Right now I really suggest cutting off contact for a month. Watch this free in-depth video presentation on my website for starters: www.BreakupBrad.com
Good video Brad. I agreed to be friends and still love her. I was going to write a short letter to say sorry I can't be your friend and a few reasons why not. Is this a good idea or is it better to just slowly disappear? I have some good words to write down, nothing weak, need, nor desperate, as I don't want her to see I'm still really wanting her back.
Yes, but don't tell her it's because you still have feelings for her. Just say that you don't think you make good friends -- something other than because you still love her.
Brad Browning thanks Brad, appreciate the advice.
Brad Browning Hi Brad, I was moving all my stuff out of her place today and she turned up. I think she was shocked that I actually meant what I said about not being her friend as it's not what I want. There was no "I Love you" or "I want a second chance" from me and instead I played the cool guy and said simply... "I can't be your friend because I'm not some weak man who will hang around like a male girl-friend. I don't want that but do want to date SOMEONE and make them want me and be attracted to me." It was that simple. I left her a letter with a similar content, short and to the point and NO mention of my feelings at all. It summed up that you just CAN'T be a friend as I want dating and fun so if you don't want that I'll move on and meet other women. As I was about to leave she cried and put her arms around me and kissed me on the lips for the first time in about a month. I said goodbye and left her there upset but it had to be done. I got home and cried like a baby for about an hour, or more, but I will NOT contact her at all now or else the strategy is at fault. If she doesn't come back after me a it's a shame and of course if she does it's happy days. It has to be the most killer feeling I have ever experienced but to put myself in her power and be dragged around for months hoping she'd 'maybe' start dating would have been more pain in the long run. Time will tell and already I have a very hot chick after me in the city, something to do and take my mind of her a bit. I like your attitude Brad, it's basically saying "Don't be a fucking PUSSY!"
nipty bipty dude what happened!? Tell me you are doing well now
Well it was not a usual break up at all. first my dog was at her place so she gave me a key to see the pet, and use my office at her place, and see the two kids, so that was a doomed start. Because I was emotional I fucked it up. Her allowing me to be there when I wanted made me see her almost daily (the dog needed walks) and looking back now I did have a chance IF ONLY I had played it cool. Instead I kept asking her back and another chance, she is like BYE!! I do feel better already and so you CAN get through this. I am gutted of course but a lesson of NEVER do that shit again if a woman still has some love left, I made my own problem.
Thanks for this video Brad! If you want an ex back after doing a no contact period, and start communicating again, how could you not fall into the friend zone? my ex bf wanted to be friends after breaking up and i thought it was fine. I did no contact and we haven't seen each other yet after 6 weeks. It's been only a few times we texted but I guess he has totally friend zoned me by saying I'm one of his greatest friends and doesn't text me unless i txt him first. i got some insights from your video to gradually stay out of touch..but what do i do if i still want him back?
theundertow You're welcome! :-) Definitely do not be friends with him as you're in danger of being stuck in the past and unable to move on. Look after yourself first at this point. Let him initiate all contact. Don't be too available for him, end your conversations first, get busy with your life, and lastly, date other guys. Get my guide to know how to go about this and/or watch this: 3 Ways To Make Your Ex Jealous (Subtle Tricks That Create Real Jealousy)
@Brad Browning After the isolation...and they say they miss you, how to you go about getting back together?
+SuperJackStuff That's a good question! You should find the answer you're looking for in this video: ruclips.net/video/uN_XAgHjaFM/видео.html
Good luck!
Hi Brad,
My ex and I broke up about a month ago. We texted occasionally for a week or two but it always seemed to be an argument. I finally sent him a goodbye text that was basically like your clean slate text ( because I had foolishly begged him to take me back) After that I started no contact. It lasted about 3 weeks then I texted him because something bad had happened to me and I felt I needed to talk to him. He was happy to hear from me and wanted to talk more. So we have been talking( skyping) and texting these last few days. The trouble is, I think he is friend zoning me because he always says to me " we can't have a relationship again". But he wants to keep talking to me. I'm not sure what to do. Do I keep trying to get him to slowly feel attraction for me again or just tell him I won't do the friend thing and slowing fade out of his life again? Oh and we are in a long distance relationship.
Thanks
Annie snk Hello Annie, was he the one to bring up the topic of you not being able to have a relationship again...or were you somehow leading him to that topic? If it's the former, he may be trying to convince himself of that, and this may or may not be true. If it's the latter, however, then you have to stop asking for him back or talking about the relationship, okay? Whatever the case, it may be too soon, so try to give him time to reach out to you as well, so don't go initiating contact all the time, okay? Let him come to you. In the mean time, get busy with other stuff and live your life to the fullest -- without your ex in it. Easier said than done, I know, but it's not impossible. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about this at www.breakupbrad.com
Brad, my ex boyfriend is moving to another school in another state, and we both sorta still like each other, but I'm afraid he'll be seeing other girls, should we be boyfriend and girlfriend again and have a long distance relationship, be friends, or should I forget about him? I also tried to forget about him, but its REALLY hard, do you have any tips?
I supposed you've had a talk about the topic. What were his views about a long distance relationship? It's just not some people's cup of tea as some crave physical contact and may not be ready for the challenges present in being in one. Watch this: ruclips.net/video/5nfWRJRrnAs/видео.html
hey Brad I know I sound like a broken record my greatest apologies like I'm applying the no contact method has been almost two weeks I haven't talked to my ex but the downside is that remember I told you I blocked her from Facebook and Instagram all that good stuff my number one question is after the 30 days is over should I try to contact her or give up and move on..??? sorry man I know I'm stubborn I really love her
+John Smith Have you checked out my guide yet, man? Yes, after 30 days without contact, you ought to try to text her, but there is a way to do it. Since you're hellbent in getting her back, I suggest you read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential at www.breakupbrad.com Okay? Good luck!
OMG! Its really a great tips & advice.. I really impressed and yea, what all you had said was all trueee😌
I appreciate the support. If it’s not too much to ask and if you haven’t done so yet, please like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it, too! :-)
Hi Brad ive desperately been flicking through videos trying to find an answer to my question but i cant find anything...my question is - if i told my ex i cant be friends with him anymore and he got upset and said that i never appreciated anything he done for me, blocked me on Facebook and blocked my number should i send him a msg and apologize for upsetting him so things are not sour between us in order for him to come back??
Don't panic. Blocking you could just be your ex’s way of coping so I wouldn’t worry too much about it if I were you, at least not initially. If you stay blocked after months though, then that’s another story, especially if you have no other means of communication. More about that on here: ruclips.net/video/5UT92IB5ugs/видео.html Anyway social media should be the least of your concerns. Focus on all three phases and your ex may naturally unblock you, in time, as you learn to rebuild that attraction and re-attract this ex back to your life.. Here are the basics of all three phases to getting an ex back: ruclips.net/video/aeGNPBdpnsI/видео.html and social-media wise, here (but then again, don't let it become your sole focus) : ruclips.net/video/D1GpR5MApQk/видео.html Good luck!
@@BradBrowning thankyou my ex unblocked me after 2 days lol
The best thing you do is do the no contact rule that's a healthy thing to do. I I'm doing it permanently. My ex is the one that dumped me how long does it take him to recover how long does it take for a dumper to recover? Do I recover longer? Or does the number recover longer? Now that I'm with somebody else I'm not sure if you saw the relationship thing on Facebook that I'm someone new I feel that me being with somebody else hurt him 😞 and I was told he turned gay he's in the guys now. After he saw that I'm with someone else.
Hey brad! I need some help, I started no contact it's been about 20 days, she texted me asking if we can be friends a few days ago, but how do I tell her no when I first text her again after NC? Should I wait longer to tell her no? She also texted me " I can see us being together again but I just need to figure myself out". I'm confused if it's a phase or what but I love your advice plz reply
Get out of the friendzone right now, don't wait for the "no contact" phase to end before doing that since it'll only make things more confusing for you. It's a bad idea to be friends. The boundaries won't be clear and you're technically both free to date other people. Wouldn't it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you're only "friends" now, don't you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively at ruclips.net/video/yd6pvNVeHjI/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/sS4V4IOcOgs/видео.html but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!
Brad Browning Thank you! I was confused if there was exceptions to the no contact, but now I know! Your awesome.
She just texted me that she wants her stuff back and she wants to set up a date to exchange gifts we gave to eachother but I don't want to give anything back! What do I do, and do I text it?
This is such an issue huh lol.. Man it's not easy. And I definitely agree with your advice not just on this topic, but all of your topics. I'm about to purchase your book because it soothes the soul.. I have a bit of a twist in my situation. My ex wants to be friends but exclusive friends. She says that because of the issues we've had in the past, that she would want to be friends with me, while still sleeping together (even tho we haven't slept together since the breakup 4 days ago), and go from there to see if I've made the changes necessary for us to work. This is tempting because she's saying we're not going to be dating or seeing other people, but she's not ready to jump back in since she wants to see if I've truly made my changes. It's not the typical, lets be friends and I'll let you know how much fun I'm having partying or dating other people. No way I can accept that.. So based on that, would you still say no to her request? Thanks in advance Brad and hope all is well!
+Marcelo MonteroThanks, man. I'm glad I've helped out somehow. :-) Anyway by "exclusive friends" did you mean a sex buddy? That's technically still in the friendzone, man, so tread carefully, all right? If you can handle being in that kind of arrangement and you handle it well -- you're walking on a tightrope here, man -- then go along with it. Just be really wary that you're about to be really friendzoned and that she's taking full control of how things go. I suggest that whatever happens to continue to work on yourself and not get distracted or seek validation from her whatsoever, okay? So long as you're aware of the dangers of where this might be leading too, you should be good, man. Good luck!
Hey Brad first of all I would like to thank you for responding to my question :). Also I am following your advice of moving on as I told before reason for breakup was unable to get married because of religion difference. I have two questions and only you can answer is it possible for people to move on fast due if their breakup happens after lot of fights as my friends told me my ex have been saying lately that I have moved on fast bcoz lot of fights were happening, I was surprised with the statement as he texted me on my 3rd day of no contact that he misses me and he was requesting me to continue like this and after two days he made that statement which is very confusing, not only this he seemed pissed on one of my action which I did one day before breakup? Another thing which I would like to know is since me and my bf knows there is no future for us is it healthy to be friends once we moved on, as he told one of our common friend that after 1 month he would like to call me to be his friend and he was the one to initiate cutting off all the contacts so that I move on and we can be friends without fights, Brad I am very confused PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME. Looking forward to hear from you again :)
You're welcome! Sorry I can't backtrack though, it's just nearly impossible, with all the comments I receive per day. As for moving on, depending on where your ex is at emotionally, she can move on quickly, but it's almost always never too quickly especially if there were really strong feelings and the relationship was serious. And yes, you all can be friends after some time, once you've BOTH moved on. Take care!
Hi Brad. But if I stop being friends with her how can I get her back then? Should I wait until she reaches out first or something? I'm already on the reattraction phase and it seems like nothing works. She only wants to be friends. What should I do?
I suggest you employ the FULL 30-day "no contact" rule and be mindful of the tips in the following videos to help you out: y2u.be/gUBNd6pDINM AND make sure you don't make the number one mistake here : y2u.be/1cBpNrDDHnw
So once you've completed the no contact phase, watch my texting tips on how to re-establish contact with your ex. This is only one among the many texting tips posted across my channel. Start with these: ruclips.net/video/XonMtLFo000/видео.html AND y2u.be/RggluigF74E but if you're still lost about what to do despite the tips sprawled on my channel, then you may want to sign up for my one-on-one email coaching at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching Best of luck!
Hard to explain, but I work with her in the same space and group on some days of the week. That makes all of this specially hard, any special recommendation for this situation?
+Facundo Túpac Martínez That can be tough, indeed... This is one of the cases where the “no contact” rule is actually an exception. I've discussed it in these videos, as well as how to handle it: ruclips.net/video/zKhNHhEmYMg/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/ydeES3WU1Uc/видео.html but read myEx Factor Guide so you'll have an in-depth view on how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential at www.breakupbrad.com Okay? Take care!
Problem is that the break up was actually related to a lack of showing "interest", I don't think that increasing that factor would be the ideal strategy then. It's a 7 years relationship with previous break ups related to the same subject. What do you think?
Hey Brad i was in a long distance relationship and the break up wasn't messy or anything like tht but anyways I jus wanted to know how long should i not have any contact with my ex
Wait at least 30 days.
hey brad, my ex broke up with me 2 months ago and she said she'll still be there and support me and she told me that there's a possible chance that we can come back together later in life and then she told me that "no one can predict the future and that she can't think that far ahead", false hope? maybe, why? because she has another bf and it pains me to see her with someone else. Is there still a possible chance? i'm also doing the 'no contact rule to see what'll happen.
No, it isn't false hope. False hope is her telling you you'll get back together after (insert amount of time) a period. She's just being realistic, man. Just try to keep in mind that the new guy isn’t you and if your relationship had been particularly good for the most part, then you can use that knowledge to your advantage. Your ex is likely rebounding, especially if yours had been a long-term or serious relationship. Watch these first: ruclips.net/video/TBtb34gy6zw/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/lG2shYI1h9k/видео.html But don’t rely on that fact alone. Learn to play your cards right as well. Good luck!
Can ALL this apply towards a Long, truly invested relationship? I'm 2 and a half years out of a Almost 12 year relationship - birthdays, family deaths, anniversaries.. You name it. We talk on occasion, have even had some "Encounters" to get a quick fix in the intimacy department, have talked to one another About our current or new relationships and even share memes on occasion too. I was the one who ended the relationship due to a family death that hit me too hard and i was doing stupid, stupid things - I never felt like i could redeem myself and i was tired of her being hurt for so many years even After i was working towards making peace with my past. Now, almost 3 years later, i can't simply Move on, go cold turkey or think about my life in the future without her, not something i can shrug at after All that time was spent with her and move on to better things.. May be in denial or just stubborn here. It's such a complicated thing. She's with someone and I'm Happy for her, really.. But i find myself comparing myself to the new guy or wondering what he's got, ect. One thing i Did do was have that "One last talk" with her in person. I let somethings come out that was heard as a ultimatum now looking back But wasn't my intention, we talked about the uncertain future in regards to the both of us and it eventually boiled down to her needing to give this new guy a shot. So with tears in my eyes, i gave her a hug and we both went our own ways. Fast forward, I'm holding on to this.. Somewhat unrealistic idea that we'll get back together eventually.. But it's hurting me constantly. God, where's Steve from the Jerry Springer show to come haul me away? Haha!
These tips are for long, serious/committed relationships, yes. For now, though, you ought to check with a few tips here first: ruclips.net/video/9LC1ewgBkIQ/видео.html My other videos should help out a bit, too but if you still need my help further on this, however, then you and I both ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Please check on availability first because I only have a limited number of clients I can realistically manage before I go into spontaneous combustion. :-) Here’s the link: www.breakupbrad.com/coaching
Hey Brad. What to do after telling him that I don’t wanna be friends?
We had a great connection but the relationship didn’t last long,the breakup was 5 months ago,he has some issues of not always opening heart to people and when things happen he tend to play calm and emotionless.
After a period of no contact we reconnected recently,we had a few conversations but mainly me telling him how I feel but him acting friendly and less sentimental . Then he told me yesterday he’s up for being friends if I’m okay with it coz he felt he been pushing me away and all. I texted him today said what you taught me and he said he understood
I’m kinda confused about what next,looking forward to your reply
That's fine, no need to worry about that. Since you've already completed the full 30-day "no contact" rule and assuming you did it correctly, then the texting tips here will be a good starter: ruclips.net/video/uN_XAgHjaFM/видео.html but make sure you tick off the checklist here first: ruclips.net/video/BAhMrmw3Sms/видео.html This means you take time focusing on the second phase and eventually the third phase when the time is right. This won’t happen overnight, of course, but it’s something you ought to continue to work on to the point where you’re gradually building attraction again. This is what my guide is for. Have you checked it out yet? It's too complicated to explain everything on here, but here's an overview of these phases and what to expect in each one: ruclips.net/video/aeGNPBdpnsI/видео.html Good luck!
This is so true.. i am trying hard to forget my ex, but still. Cannot because we are still good friends and help each other’s when needed, but sometimes, I am curious if he has someone in his life and start bothering too much about him. As long as he doesn’t have someone I am happy, but always have doubts if he gets someone. So, we shouldn’t be friends at all. Further, before my ex, the first boyfriend I had, had a bad breakup with me and I completely blocked him for more than a year, after that my feelings were fading away and now I have nothing for him, but for my ex, still have feelings because we are good friends and everyday reminds our past.
I think you both need to give it a time off, too. When a breakup happens, most of the time this means he has lost attraction for you, hence, it's a bad move to be friends with him. The boundaries won't be clear and you're technically both free to date other people. Wouldn't it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you're only "friends" now, don't you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch this video so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, at ruclips.net/video/yd6pvNVeHjI/видео.html but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!
I agreed to be friends with my ex after the break up and I fought for 4 months for it. We were together for 4 months, he had get divorced a few months earlier and has a child. Since October we were on really good terms. I was patient and I was so happy about the progress. I thought we would be back together, because we ccommunicated like before. Iam so foolish. After 2 weeks of Christmas break he didn't have time for me. I texted him that I was missing him. "What do you want? We're just friends". He's been avoiding me since. He was away for another 2 weeks and he doesn't care to meet me. I love him so much and miss him. What did he think? That I stopped loving him? That I was so committed because I just want to be friends? I cannot stop thinking about him and I am hurt every time he doesn't want to see me. It is like being broken up with again and again :( Why can't I stop caring about him and his son? Why am I so stupid to think that he would fall in love with me!? I know that I should let him go before he finds another girl.
Ah, not very subtle, are you? :-) Go by the golden rules here as much as possible: ruclips.net/video/1kJ1ybuFIHE/видео.html It may or may not be too late, but it’s definitely time to move forward from those mistakes and not repeat those! Don’t be so hard on yourself, though, since this is a fairly common issue and most people are guilty of this at some point. If you'd really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible, at www.breakupbrad.com/quiz Good luck!
Hey brad, what do I do if I tried to disappear from their life but I couldn't stay strong and I came back and now she says she won't care if I leave this time, is it too late or is she bluffing? I found out later from my friend that for the days I disappeared away from her she asked him to spy on me and stuff. Does that mean she still really cares about me? She also said she has feelings for me but they're fleeting fast and she wants that to happen
What I see here is a misalignment of goals, man. She's likely looking for security/stability and you might've blown off your chances by disappearing all of a sudden. Try to see why you're so quick to leave? Watch this, too: ruclips.net/video/m27TLeyUmwg/видео.html
This so true I tried the friend thing at work and no 👎 bad idea so we just went cold turkey 🦃 now it’s as if we dont now each other 😔and we both said being friends not best idea so here we are 3 months broken up and no hope of giving it another try ... slowly moving on I feel it’s getting better I no longer cry 😭 and I think of him lesss
That's what they always say, breaking up is hard to do.
Hi Brad,
Decided to ask this here as it’s the video with the most relevant topic to my issue, I’ll try to keep it short.
Had a relationship, started really well, just rocketed sky-high in the first few weeks and was amazing for the first 2 months. Following that, she detached, possibly because she knows we’ll both be leaving the city we’re in now at the end of June and wanted a less-involved relationship. I couldn’t adapt that quickly to this new thing and we started arguing, finally broke up. she wanted to stop talking for a couple of weeks and then try to be friends when we’re back in town as we both left for holidays.
2 questions: 1. Does the fact that we agreed not to talk diminish the influence of the no-contact strategy? Should I keep in no contact for slightly longer then? And 2. We’re sharing the same group of friends here. Matter fact, we’re in a way holding it together and it almost impossible to imagine that we won’t be spending time together because of this. Supposing that after this no-contact phase, she doesn’t want to get back together. Should I go ahead with the ‘let’s-be-friends’ thing and in time try to get her back or should I reject the idea?
Thanks for your time and consideration
David Alan Hey David, most, if not all relationships start out great because that's the stage where two people are in a "honeymoon phase." Incompatibilities show up later around a year or two and that's where you can see if you two are really compatible and if you have "staying power," so to speak. Anyway it doesn't really matter whether you agree to the "no contact" phase or not, what matters is the benefits you get when you both go through it. No, it's not a good idea to be friends with an ex. Get my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about it at www.breakupbrad.com
shit watching half way into this video made me feel slightly sadder because it's been like months since she pretty much found a new guy and i've stayed too much in contact already. i'm pretty sure i've already been replaced. this video kinda just made me think that when she and her BF breakup she'll feel this for him not me...god damnit. ah well... damaging life moments...
You always grow through the hard times. Stay strong!
Brad your video really helps alot, I had a break up 2 years ago she once asked me if we can be best friends immediately right after break up, so I declined but my friends kinda told me accepting her as a best friend was kinda the right thing, I wanted to trust my gut so I declined it, do you think I did the right thing
+jacker thedude Not being friends with an ex is a good thing, so yes, you made the right decision. Being "best friends" especially after a breakup, will only keep you stuck in the past...who needs that? :-) You said the breakup happened two years ago though, so if you want her back, you can test the waters. Watch this: ruclips.net/video/uN_XAgHjaFM/видео.html
Brad Browning actually I don't want her back again she hurt me alot, I didn't wanna see her again becasue being friends with an ex feels very wrong especially when you once kissed them