A Love Letter To Japan {And Why I Can't Wait to Leave! What It's Really Like to Live in Japan}
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- Опубликовано: 24 ноя 2024
- As I film this video, it is my final weekend in Japan after almost 6 years. It is a certainly a bitter sweet moment, so I thought my final filming in Japan should be a love letter of sorts to this magnificent country that has given me more than I could never ever repay. Most of this video will be dedicated to that, but I will also outline the things about Japan that absolutely drive me crazy! Which are essentially the reasons why I can’t wait to leave, and why I am genuinely concerned about the future of Japan, as our world continues to globalize. So essentially this video will be a honest, assessment of my life in Japan, the good, the bad and the ugly about life in Japan as well as what I think the future of Japan looks like, given all my experiences here, especially from starting and running a company here.
So if you are interested in visiting Japan, moving to Japan, or are fascinated by Japanese culture & history and want to learn more about this country, hopefully you will find these insights helpful.
My adult son taught H.S. English in the states for 12 years, had his masters, and a dream to teach in Japan, He accomplished that when Interac hired him to teach schoolchildren in a small fishing village in Hokkaido. After a year and a half, his health forced him to return home, where he passed away in late October 2020. I share this to let it be known that life is precarious, live it like you mean it, embrace the moment, each and every one.
Mindfulness is the only way
I am so sorry to hear abt your son...I am from Hokkaido and living in US for 50yrs but children that your son taught was very fortunate...they will never forget him...God bless!!!
@@ryokokirchhoff782 Thank you for those words, he said it was the warmest and most satisfying experience he ever had as a teacher.
I very sorry for your loss... Thanks for sharing your story, I couldn't agree more that life is precious, so don't take it for granted
I am sorry
Im always disappointed by videos like these, when people make the mistake that Tokyo=Japan. Tokyo is Tokyo and doesn't even come close to representing all that Japan has to offer. I live in the mountains outside Kyoto, and bought a very reasonably priced house here. I would never even dream of living in any big city here, much less Tokyo. As someone who has lived in Japan as long as Connor, I've found the very simple answer to whether you will be able to live in Japan long term (or forever) or will be a 2~5 or so yearer like Connor here. It all comes down to whether or not you can accept Japanese culture as your culture. You can see that Connor here loves a lot of things about Japan, but at his core, he doesn't want to give up his home (im guessing american) culture. Which is completely understandable. Many MANY people cannot or will not give up their native culture because it is a part of who they are. But, if you want to live in Japan and be content and happy here, you MUST accept the culture here, the good and the bad, and make it your own. I had to learn to stop saying to my wife (who is Japanese) things like "Well we do it like this in America! Why don't they do it here?" and instead just accepted that this is just how it is here (a good example being no drying machines!). So for any of you who are thinking of moving here and staying long term, please ask yourself if you are ok with giving up your home countries culture and accepting Japanese culture (the good AND the bad) as your own.
Thank you for pointing out Tokyo ≠ Japan (Same as London doesn’t reflect all of the UK etc). I also live outside Kyoto and could never live anywhere near Tokyo. I’ve never had any problems making friends either. One thing I would like to add though is that I think it’s a little bit more nuanced than simply accepting the culture. It’s not a fixed, absolute thing, how much the culture is changing (being forced to change) is part of what makes Japan so interesting right now. It’s my observation that more and more Japanese people, particularly those who have had a chance to travel or live abroad are questioning those more repressive and unhelpful parts of their own culture. Of course you have to be understanding of why things they are and love Japan in spite of its problems but also be a strong supporter for those trying to make positive change. It won’t happen overnight (probably) and there will be plenty of things to facepalm about along the way but at the end of the day I know enough people really trying to move Japan forward at a local level that I remain positive.
@@hoshinorobin Im more referring to the core fundamental values of the culture. They seem to be what foreigners struggle with the most. For example the we vs. me culture of Japan. Western culture is very focused on the individual while eastern culture more about group cohesion. Of course Japan changes and adapts, it has really for centuries, but I think what makes Japan special is its firm base of core morals and values. As much as I want to see many things change here, I also don't want to see Japan become more and more westernized and lose what makes it a very unique and special place to live. I know what you mean though haha! My father-in-law in a Buddhist priest, I am well versed in the mendokusai parts of Japanese culture. :)
I'm Japanese living in the US and I strongly agree with you and respect you.
I have seen both foreign people who love and dislike Japan.
All the foreign people how love Japan not only speak fluent Japanese, they also understand our spirit deeply, they joke like Japanese, they behave like Japanese etc.
and all the foreigners who complain about Japan don't speak Japanese, they don't understand our spirit.
All my close friends are Japanese and for me it's more difficult to make real friends here, although I have party friends.
It's SO natural you feel barrier when you interact with people from other countries or when you go to other countries.
When you think that this is not the way we do in my country... then even if you don't say it, people feel it and it's hard to be accepted.
If you accept like, yeah it's different but I understand this is the way it is here.... then things change slowly. It's all up to you, not others.
I’m Japanese and I couldn’t agree more. I’ve moved out 5 years ago, kept traveling the world and I live in Europe now. I’m absolutely happier here. It’s funny how I can relate more to the foreigners who couldn’t adapt to Japanese culture than Japanese people. Hope you enjoy your next adventure!:)
I don’t want Japan to ever stop being Japanese
@@tenniswerewolf8095 You idolise it too much without actually living there.
@@zabijca I was born in Osaka kid, I’m 47 years old. I grew up in Los Angeles when my mother left Japan when I was 3 years old. I’ve gone back it visit ever year for 30 years. I think you have me confused with this TikTok “Vlog” Young generation who likes to tell people online to stop “romanticising “ Japan. The West is suffering from this toxic culture.
@@zabijca haha exactly! I live here for 18 yrs it’s a bullshit culture which i used to idealize not now BS!! Lol
@@tenniswerewolf8095 I agree with you even though I am young. Culture and tradition are the back bone of a society.
With regards to globalisation, I am optimistic that Japan will probably maintain the 'charm' that makes it so appealing, simply because it is so hard for foreigners to integrate even despite them relaxing a lot of laws. Sure there are more tourists and foreigners in Japan now more than ever but the revolving door is very real, for many people they'll stay maybe a few years max before returning home. It really takes a huge amount of effort to settle down there, and I don't envision this changing for the simple reason of the language being the biggest barrier to entry. I say with complete confidence that Japanese is the hardest language in the world to start learning, it gets 'easier' and more intuitive with time but most people will frankly never get to that stage. And because of keigo, which you touched on, 99% of foreigners simply are not equipped with the ability to adapt to corporate situations and hence sustain a working life in Japan - stuff like tatemae and 'kuuki wo yomu' are very intrinsic and say a lot about Japan being such a subtext-driven society.
I tend to ignore all the scaremongering you see online about Japan losing what makes it Japan, but realistically there are still 100+ million Japanese in the country (more including diasporas around the world) so there's not really a massive risk of them going 'extinct.' For reference, Japan has like 30-40 million more people than the UK, and the UK is supposedly 70% 'British' (i.e., ethnically native Brits) yet we don't see nearly as much outcry for British people going extinct. That said, there is a need for Japan to become more adaptable in the modern world, but I am sure it will find a way to thrive again. It still produces a lot of technological and cultural exports that generate a lot of revenue, and if anything it may be becoming more of a tourism-driven economy, so maybe they'll need to capitalise on this tourism boom rather than blocking off views to Mount Fuji lol
I'm an American who's lived in Japan for almost 35 years, and I very much agree with your comments. But since I'm an introvert who is very much a homebody, Japan really is the perfect place for me.
I don't recall if you mentioned it in your video, but another great thing about Japan is that everyone has a strong sense of honor and pride in their work or profession. For example, if you buy a large-screen TV, for no extra charge, the shop will send out a truck with 3 delivery guys who will drive to your house, lay down protective sheets on the floor, carefully carry the TV into the room where you want to use it, precisely position it on the stand, connect everything up and make all the necessary adjustments, clean it until it gleams, and then spend 30 minutes explaining to you in detail how to use the TV and the remote control. In the extremely rare case that you notice something wrong (maybe a tiny scratch on the back of the TV or something), they will apologize profusely, load it back on the truck, and bring you a new one, probably with a small gift for the inconvenience you have suffered.
In addition, the amazing safety in Japan you mentioned is also reflected in an amazing sense of honesty and fair play. A while ago I decided to upgrade my CD player, so I called up the audio shop in Tokyo where I bought it and asked them how much they would give me for my old CD player as a trade-in. They told me they would give me ¥110,000 for it, so we negotiated a price for the new CD player and I sent them the old one by courier service. When they received the old CD player, they told me that it was in much better condition than they expected, so instead of giving me the ¥110,000 trade-in allowance that I had already happily agreed to, they would give me ¥210,000 instead. If I hadn't lived here for so long, I would never have believed it. Also, as I'm sure you know, if you ever drop your wallet on the street or on a train, you can be pretty sure that somebody will turn it in to the nearest police station, where you can pick it up the next day and find all your cash and credit cards inside.
A friend of mine here (originally from India) once made a comment about Japan that I thought really hit the nail on the head: the reason he loves living in Japan is because "it's such a civilized country".
I was an exchange student in Japan for a year and my expereinces in socializing were not as horrible as the comments describe. Well it's a fact that is is harder to make friends but no impossible. I think it highly depends on your culture. I came from more of a conservative culture. My social life and private life were in balance. After arriving to Japan making friends were hard. In most countries locals open up to foreigners but in Japan it's the other way around.
I did stupid tricks like pretending to be lost and ask direction in school, or asking for pen because I left mine at home etc. But it definitely works! People will be more familiar with you day by day and they realize talking to you is not a big deal as they expected. Making friends is a long road but it definitely worths it. I still talk to my Japanese friends up until nowadays.
O9
Being a student makes it wayyy easier to make friends.
Japanese people tend to be afraid of being offensive to others, especially foreigners - often too much, part of island nation mentality. Sometimes that attitude comes off as coldness or they want to avoid foreigners, but it is not the case - most of the time.
Thats great to hear! Hope you enjoy your time in Japan:)
@Aeyahul Dianyisas I think it's a matter of perspective. You shouldn't make friends just because they are Japanese, they are people just like us. I don't think it's unnecessary to make friends with anybody. Kindness and love is the biggest weapon and shield a person can have. How you turn to them, that's how they will turn back to you. I highly doubt they are more judgemental than anybody in other cultures. They have the same emotions and thoughts like anybody else, they just express it differently. Japanese people are like treasure chests, it's hard to open but once you take your time and patience, you'll earn success.
"The Japanese base their entire society on two main principles: risk aversion and not upsetting someone." As a Japanese, I have to admit that's true. When I was younger I hated the homogeneous society but as I get older and learn how to behave as a normal Japanese, it feels more comfortable. Now I live in the backcountry as a semi-hermit still I can use ubiquitous combinis 24/7 to support my physical existence. Perhaps one of the best places for introverts who are over 40 and can make decent income online or passively.
Thanks for sharing your insights. Sounds like an interesting/relaxed life you led. 😃
@ken m You can't make a living just by spending your time online. I'm a creator and get royalty income, and I have worked as a freelance translator till recently. As a translator I've never met most of my clients in person. Everything was done online since 20 years ago or so because they often had to hire translators living overseas. If my parents were well off and lenient, I may also have been a hikikomori. But they struggled to make their own livings so I had to be independent. But I never wanted to commute or live as a salaryman so I tried to find a niche in the society where I could breathe.
Life is risky, but this is what I dislike about the Japanese, an aversion to the dark side.
A semi-hermit, haha nice 👍 as I become better off and I can afford to, I plan to gradually phase out the outside world too 😆
Damn it, risk aversion and avoiding social disharmony pretty much sums up my personality. It's hard to act against my nature but being the way I am is also a pain. Over time I've simply realised being a hermit means I would encounter less risks and avoid human conflicts. I'm channeling my efforts into that direction🥲.
Those were the exact same reasons why I couldn’t wait to leave Japan, but as soon as I came to the US, I regretted it and wanted to move back asap. The quality of life in Japan is so high compared to other places in the world. You don’t have to deal with unnecessary stress in Japan, except when you go to the immigration office. I don’t consider that place a part of Japan. 😅
And still they are starting to fall.
They are not as bad as we are in Eu or EEUU, but when i visited Japan in 2017 i saw dozens/hundreds of "humans with night camouflage 100%" selling girls and drugs on the streets.
Japan is like sitting in a luxury hotel lobby where someone is slowly lowering the oxygen level in the room.
It’s suffocating but you only really notice it after some time.
I agree with most of what you mentioned about Japan in your video. One thing I do want to point out is your reference to “business-level” Japanese and how it has hindered your and your friends’ social expansion in Japan.
Speaking at a Business-level is not the same thing as knowing the everyday formal and informal language, as well as the latest topics on the cultural side of things.
Business is simply business. It’s transactional. Friendships don’t bloom from that. I think you’re massively underestimating the importance of speaking the language of the country you live in fluently. It makes all the difference in the world!
Interesting. I‘ve had a different experience than you. I think if you’re not invested in where you reside, it’s very hard for anyone to take you seriously. My first 10 years here are very different than my last 10 and Japan has changed so much compared to 1998 when I arrived. Japan is not for everyone. You need a sense of humor, tolerance for procedures that don’t make sense, ability to stay positive when you’re frustrated - let stuff go fast. Once you start learning and grasping at how the system works, it’s a magic moment! Navigating both worlds (Japan and everywhere else) - but it doesn’t come in the first several years and for many, it may never come. Some long term residents close down their thinking and some open up more. Everyone’s different and that goes for Japanese. There are people who take risks. I hitchhiked Japan finding that people picking me up were the people I was looking for and became good friends - but you cannot expect Japan to be what you want it to be. It has changed since I came but it has a solid core which I still to this day, don’t fully understand but respect since it keeps me safe, gastronomically pleased and entertained (that sense of humor comes in super handy) - thanks for making this and wish you all the best!
love your channel john. every time i watch your stream, i imagine my life, if i had stayed. I started a life there pre-youtube. the country is amazing, but i quickly learned that, as a foreigner, career advancement for me was nearly non-existent. And as much as i wanted to stay, it wasn't practical. I made the tough decision to leave. I value every experience i had there, and love reliving them through your channel.
ONLY IN JAPAN🤘
Sounds like China lol
Great response to this video!
You didn't really seem to address any particular point of his (negative) that you disagreed with. Anything in particular?
I've lived in Japan since 1988. I love it here. I originally decided to come here for 2 years. That was 30 years ago! It was the best decision I've ever made.
How did you move? What visa? :) would love to hear more
I have been in japan for 4 years and would love to stay another 26😊
Me too! I first arrived in 1988, and settled in 1991.
I came to do Judo for a year and now I have grandchildren here.
I love it here.
@@quendelf I originally came here on a 3 year "humanities" visa, hired by an English conversation company. The only requirement was a B.A. I had no plans to come to Japan. I'd never had a passing thought of Japan in my entire life until I met a friend who was home for the summer from his job of teaching in Japan. He told me about a recruiting office in Toronto, Canada, where I'm from. I applied for a position and signed a one year contract. I didn't even know "konichi wa". I started studying Japanese on the plane over. After working for the "eikaiwa" company for a year, I got a listing of jr. high schools and high schools throughout Japan and literally sent out 400 resumes! I got 10 interviews, of which I passed 3. I've been at the same high school now for over 30 years! For the first 10 years, I was an ALT. It took me 10 years to become literate. My school facilitated my getting a teaching degree from a Japanese university by hiring an ALT while I took a hiatus to attend classes. I've been a full time teacher for 20 years. I also run an elite youth ice hockey program, Samurai Japan AAA Ice Hockey Club. 5 of our players have been drafted into major jr. ice hockey leagues in the US and Canada! It's funny how life turns out. I'd never had a moment's thought of Japan and now I've spent half my life here. I have 5 kids, my wife is Japanese and besides hockey my entire life has been Japanese. If you had told me that was going to be the case when I was 20 I would have said you're nuts! I honestly love it here. Like I said, best decision I've ever made.
@@BeesBugsJapan That's awesome, Stephen. Funny how life turns out, eh?
João Rodrigues was a Portuguese sailor, warrior, and Jesuit interpreter, missionary, priest, and scholar in Japan and China in the 16th century. He made an accurate assessment of the Japanese mindset which still applies in 2021:-
“The Japanese people are so crafty in their hearts that nobody can understand them. Whence it is said that they have three hearts: a false one in their mouths for all the world to see, another within their breasts only for their friends, and the third in the depths of their hearts, reserved for themselves alone and never manifested to anybody."
From História da Igreja do Japão vol I pg 173, written by Father João Rodrigues, SJ.
100% correct .
I think it also has to do with japanese being a high context language, where sayin something may mean something else and can be only understanded if you live in japan for a long time and also have the sense of understanding the way japanese think.
Interesting, this exact quote is said in the novel "Shogun" by a pilot-sailor named Rodrigues. I don't know how much of Shogun is based on fact.
@@trevorjennings4823 Great info in this thread.
Smart man. It's true, you can never really trust what a Japanese person is telling you because you don't know if they're saying it because they believe it or because they want to maintain harmony.
I live in Japan and I do have Japanese friends. I am lucky to say that I have met Japanese people who are very kind and have opened their introvert doors for me. It takes time as everywhere in the world to REALLY meet people.
My job is not in a big Japanese company, but at work, I can see a positive attitude towards change and traditional work costums and 'rules'.
I see it this way: if life guides you towards 'loneliness', maybe it's a good opportunity to get to know oneself better and to grow deeper roots.
that's being boastful.
I've been living in tokyo for almost 1.5 years. I only have work acquaintances and no friends but I am not a social person to begin with. I am happier here than I would be in home country inspite of this.
How is that possible if you are Paris Hilton :v
Um, excuse me. Paris Hilton is VERY social.
@@javierzapanacaceres2933 her clone.
Good for you...I pray you will enjoy and make great memories!!!!
Fun fact Paris Hilton has been banned from Japan. Authorities banned her from entering the country due to her drug conviction..
I am a Japanese and I lived in Tokyo once before. Even I have some difficulties to make friends in Tokyo. Now I am in the heart of Osaka(not a suburb). I chit chat when I buy a cup of coffee or lunch, with Osaka people. They are very casual and talkative. I always see some foreigners chose to live in Tokyo and leave, feeling some loneliness unless he or she found someone. It is about a culture and country but also maybe it is about timing of your life plan. You should try to find your own family soon anywhere on this earth. Good Luck to your future!!!! Have fun!!!
Valid point, Tokyo is very different from Osaka or Sapporo.
@@peterfmodel Japanese are not very extroverted thou. I bet it is harder to make local friends there compared to like Spain, Thailand or India.
@@MegaWarell In Thailand people are very friendly. If I fart out loud, the whole alley knows.
Yes, Osaka is a changing game for me. Had an opportunity to live there after living in Tokyo for a couple of years.
The friendliness and openness to have a random conversation are so different than Tokyo.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience! I always wanted to live in Osaka for that reason. Thanks for the positive vibes, hope you have a great 2021!
Living here for almost 12 years I agree with him 100% but this country helps me to love my own self and enjoy life alone. 🤙😊
I stay in the country side of Japan for almost 8 years. I will never leave Japan. My home for ever. 🇯🇵🇿🇦
That's great Amanda, I am happy for you!
I love Japan immensely, I go to Japan once a year . The more I go to Japan the more I love it. I’m 68 years old Wishing I can retire there.
I’m Canadian living in the Japan countryside for over 11 years. I totally agree with and understand your reasons for leaving Japan. To this day, I do not have a single Japanese friend and can no longer take the social isolation, severe working conditions and low salaries. I see Japan society as ultra-repressed and extremely conservative. Independent thought is not valued at all in order to maintain ‘harmony’ within the group.
Here is another reason to leave any country after 6 years:
The world has over 200 countries. Life is short.
Totally agree! 🙌
Yep, you are not happy move on. And that's what I did.
@Aeyahul Dianyisas Ah, he or she. Good point. That involves critical thinking. Google is your best friend.
@@LiveYourBestLife14 You missed the point of what life was life like from non-white person. Reality of one's perspective is not often criticism. Which is something you wanted to accomplish, right?
Having lived and worked in Japan myself, this is easily the most accurate and fair explanation of what Japan is like. Well done.
hahaha u all idiots... best place to live... cheap safe and peacefull
What Chris abroad is the best explanation
Thanks so much Robert! 🙌
@@LiveYourBestLife14 i say the opposite... best country to be in right now... nobody force shit on you... no mask law no fines no nothing just peaceful living and cheap...
@@danielboomers And boring
Risk averse to a fault, and obsessively worried about what others might think... this absolutely hits the nail on the head. Unfortunately it's true even for Japanese who have lived outside Japan for decades.
Thanks for your feedback Neil!
I too am a Japanese resident, and can totally relate to your experiences. You made a great representation of the Japan experience. At the end of your video, I'm left with the feeling that you'll be back some day. I wish you the best as you carry forward.
Thank you so much Mark! Yes, someday I think it's possible that I will live in Japan again!
I live in Japan as well, I love the country, it is beautiful, safe, living conditions are great, but I am also thinking about leaving it.
People really don't open up here, mentality is very different, their life values, their understanding of family, friendship, life is so different.
I am here for 4 years already and didn't make not even a single friend, even tho I have always been an outgoing and cheerful person. Here I have become very lonely and depressed and as you get to know local people more most of them are like this. After corona ends I'm leaving too.
Thanks for sharing Kei Kei. Well I can certainly understand your point of view, I hope things get better for you. If you aren't happy in Japan after 4 years, maybe it is a good idea to try to live in a different country.
I spent 5-6 months in kyoto, the most conservative place, and have at least ten friends. Patience. Step by step. Overly friendly or loud approaches are off putting to them.
I was an exchange student to Japan for a year. It might not be a long time but I agree with the comment before mine. It's easier to make friends if you understand their culture and you are patient. First everyone is shy but they actually want to open up. It's your job (unfortunately) to provide an environment where Japanese people can open up.
I had a Latin American exchange student with me in my school but unfortunetly she couldn't make any friends because her culture is so different than Japanese.
I also realized that it's easier to make friends with younger people than with adults.
Same happened to me. I'm very outgoing and boom, once I got to Tokyo depressions, depressions, depressions. I left in March 2020 afters 3 years.
@@LiveYourBestLife14 the Best place to live in is Russia. And that's for sure.
Been living here for 2 years and I feel quite the same as you. What's lacking in Japan is authenticity. People cannot be their authentic selves because the culture rules "the group over the individual". The first shock we, as westerners, feel here, the one we can't really pinpoint, is actually this. (But I think other Asian people too, maybe, I feel like I can expect much more unpredictability and authenticity from chinese and korean people I've met than any japanese person). We just feel something's different, something's .. weird. We're surrounded by programs running in people, the "student program", the "waiter/waitress program", the "young woman program", they all have a Modus operandi defined for them, which they perform. Now while this is probably true on some level for other cultures too, it's absolutely imperative in Japan. You see so little authenticity, that you feel uncomfortable, so uncomfortable. And unfulfilled, because being able to be authentic and witness other people's authentic selves is a great joy and one of our most basic needs as human beings. That's one of the reasons why it's so difficult to make japanese friends too, you just can't see them, they're buried under a thick layer of "tatemae", role programing and just fear (often all this is interpreted as "shyness", a misconception they do a lot themselves). Anyway, it's hard not to go on and on about this society, there's a lot to say, but I think the most striking thing is this lack of authenticity.
I think once you've become fluent in the language you will start to see more authenticity. I felt similar to the way you did my first few years. I've been here 30 years and have several friends with whom I share intimate, genuine feelings and ideas. Tatemae is reserved for the workplace and certain social situations, just like everywhere else on the planet.
@@gordonbgraham I think that if you think Japanese society is "just like everywhere else", you're kind of in denial.
@@flaviaoliveira5949 Where have I said that Japanese society is just like everywhere else? I simply noted that "tatemae" is something that is exercised everywhere else. It's called being polite, not making waves ,telling white lies or adhering to rules and duties. Westerners often misunderstand the concept of honne/tatemae. Here's an example of tatemae: I'm a high school teacher. Our school prohibits the use of cellphones on school grounds at any time, including during lunch and after school. My personal belief is that it's OK for students to use their cellphones during their free time, even on school grounds. However, because I'm a teacher I have to enforce the school's rules and scold students who use their phones during lunch etc. Is that being "fake"? No, it's adhering to my duties. In my experience, Japanese people are both forthright and genuine when talking among intimate friends.
@@gordonbgraham In your 2 comments I could see the creation of some kind of equivalence of traits of Japanese society with traits of societies "everywhere else". In the second one that's clear when you say tatemae is the same as being polite (something done, yes, everywhere else). To me this is denial. I believe it's not the same. Tatemae is not the same as being polite. To me, also, the example you gave is not tatemae, it's just obeying your workplace rules. Tatemae is when your colleague asks whether you are going to put your children in a private school or a public school and you say "oh, just in a local public school", but you're actually putting them in an expensive private school. Or when they ask if you have a boyfriend and you say no, even though you're engaged (this happened to a friend of mine). I'm sure none of these 2 cases would happen in Brazil because people wouldn't feel any need to "lie"/ use tatemae. I can imagine that in many other western cultures the same is true. Not in Japan. This is tatemae, and I don't think it's the same "everywhere else". I do believe Japanese people can become your friends, and that they're caring, warm people deep inside, but it's harder to get to know this part of them than it is to know the same part of a person of a different culture.
@@flaviaoliveira5949 Clearly, our experiences differ. Your 2 years and my 30 years.
everyone: *”Japan is a heaven for introverts!”*
me: 𝙋𝙀𝙍𝙁𝙀𝘾𝙏 ✨
Like a sly fox Beware
@@simcard867 I'm already living like this, it's perfect !
I'm an introvert living in Japan for 11 years now. I have zero Japanese friends though I speak the language well. Every here are so private with their own lives. I was wrong about Japan and planning to leave this place for good.
@@titaniumdioxides you might not be an introvert as much as you think
@@miketyson7274 Being an introvert or not is out of the equation. I'm leaving Japan because the country has a dark future. It has the worst demographics and the highest DEBT to GDP. I don't want to live in poverty as I grow old.
Man, you really can’t have everything. That’s a universal truth. Thanks for giving me this different perspective about Japan. I thought Japan was flawless, but just like any other society they have things they should work on.
Japan is the best managed country in the world.
My problem was always that I didn't want to be managed: I wanted to be free!
We retired to my husband’s hometown in rural Japan 10 years ago. He and I both lived outside of Japan most of our lives. It was quite a shock moving back to Japan. We both miss the social lives we had - we had many many friends. Here- after 10 years our circle consists of family. We both have a few acquaintances but we wouldn’t call them friends. We love living in Japan- but we do miss broader life experiences and... friends who really want to enjoy life.
Unfortunately, I have to say you are not going to get that in Japan. People here mind and want to mind their own business. `Friendship` here means a colleague who goes out to drink with your after work because they had to and not they want to. That`s the way it is. The society does not believe in lifelong friendships. Only immediate relationships. Calling a friend out here is considered as imposing or troubling someone who might be busy. Go figure.
Went into watching this video wanting to live in Japan and literally none of the “cons” given have dissuaded me. I was thinking there’d be some mention of lack of resources for foreigners trying to find affordable housing or that they’re still very much a paper-based society, or their obsession with creating tons of plastic waste with all the individual packaging, or that working visas are complicated and the definitions are very strict (like, if my husband is able to get a transfer to the Tokyo branch of the international accounting firm he just got a job with, I’d pretty much be stuck as a housewife, even though I’m a licensed Professional Geologist with a Master’s, I’d have nowhere to work). But, the people being risk averse, shy, and having a unique entertainment aesthetic are literally not the reasons that I think would convince most people not to live there. All you did was sell it to me even more. After visiting for 2 and a half weeks in December 2019, I fell in love with it, and hated having to come back to the extroverted, aggressive, dirty US. Anyway, there’s sh*tty things about Japan, just like there are everywhere.
That's great to hear! Hopefully you enjoy your time in Japan:)
yeah im just starting out studying Japanese and I went on a month long trip by myself a couple years ago and I think as long as you are resilient and take the good with the bad living anywhere can be exciting, but I too fell in love with japan. I just have the goal in my mind to be able to speak to locals naturally and that keeps me motivated. don't know what my point was but I just wanted to agree hahah.
Not sure what your personal situation is with your job but the only requirement in getting a work Visa is at least a bachelors degree (Which is admittedly a huge roadblock for most people) and beyond that you just need a company to sponsor your Visa. It may be hard to get a job in your field, I hear Japan doesn't value foreign degrees TOO much but the worst case scenario is you're basically guaranteed an English teaching job, they're everywhere and have no requirements and you could work on things from there! You would need near fluent level skills to even be hired at a Japanese company to begin with so that would also be a good opportunity to get your skills up
@@Scopatone I’m a government worker in regulation. I don’t particularly want to be private sector, even in Japan. But if I could get a job teaching English while being married to someone who is brought over on a sponsored visa, that would be pretty neat. This is all purely hypothetical anyway since it hinges on my husband’s career opportunities
@SERGIO MONTES JR honestly I wanted to be a teacher in the US, but teaching science. However, English language is perfectly acceptable, and I’m intrigued by the Japanese school system
I spent 6 years in Japan before leaving, too. I went to school, had children, and worked there. I left and brought my Japanese husband back to the states. There was so much neighborhood and workplace drama in Japan that I was absolutely ready to leave. I blamed Japan, but after being back in the states for 3-4 years I do see that things can be hard anywhere. Seriously missing the convenience of Japan at this point. I hope you are happy wherever you go next. :) Japan isn’t perfect but if I had a choice, I would be on a plane back this very moment lol
I love it here, and staying here. Canada is terrible compared to Japan, married to a Japanese guy and we're going to retire here too. Love the convenience and safety.
@@Its-Kat_ No better way to spend retirement- in Onsens around the country! :) I subscribed to your channel and insta, I think! lol
@@Its-Kat_ Why do you think Canada is terrible compared to Japan? I'm brazilian, and I have never left my country, the only source of information that I have right now is internet and for what I have seen Canada seemed like a great place to live, so I'm interested in the opinion of a person who has lived there and now lives in Japan, which is also another country that I think is a great place to live
@@rogeriojunior9459 Because they glorify the culture. Canada isn't bad.
@@PurpleLightning6was9 she loves Japanese toilet and convenience store
9:05 No small talk, you say?
Sounds like the perfect place for introverts then!
Exactly what I was thinking :)) When he started to say about chit-chat here and there in US and how it's missing in Japan, I counted it as a positive side of Japan, not negative at all :)
As a moderate introvert the sense of respect for personal space even in crowded environments was one of my favourite aspects of the culture when I travelled in Japan.
while that's true on the one hand, on the other is the fact that as a foreigner you will stick out anywhere you go, and be the target of the same repetitive questions from shop workers, clerks, taxi drivers, etc, etc who will ask where you're from and compliment you on your Japanese if you say just one word.
It depends on what kind of an introvert you are. There are introverts that love socializing and making new friends.
lol, good for me! No small talk is great!
After living in Japan for almost 4 years I totally agree with your value priorities point. For me it is my autonomy and risking upsetting others what really got me to leave. I unintentionally upset some people and that experience left me kinda broken for a while. The amount of shame they got me to experience was like I never felt before. But the good thing is that I felt what would a typical Japanese feel after making a terrible mistake. I feel proud that I could even reach to this level of understanding of Japanese culture so I guess it taught me valuable lessons.
Also I think many people still think that life in Tokyo is what it feels to be living in all of Japan which is not really true. That suffocating lifestyle of salaryman and having to deal with excessive reading the air type of rule gets much easier if you live in a smaller communities in other cities outside of Tokyo. Seriously, people seem to get more friendly and open when you leave Tokyo.
And for the globalization problem I felt the same. I believe as long things stay comfortable for the average citizen things will keep being the same. However I will be very sad to see the amazing Japanese brands and products that once dominated the global market fall to mediocrity.
Some companies in Japan are trying to go against the traditional mindset like Rakuten and Uniqulo. So maybe there is hope. Also remember that Japan has the highest number of centurion companies and also the longest family business in history going for more than a 1000years still running till today. So maybe they are doing something right after all😊
Thanks so much for your feedback! Agree with everything you mentioned, really happy you liked the video 🙇♂️🙌
I think some of those "cons" are what make Japan....well Japan.
Nanking never happened
Manila never happened
Bataan Death March never happened
Comfort women never happened
Unit 731,100,1655,1855 never happened
Burma Massacre never happened
Vietnam Massacre never happened
Singapore, Indonesia, Malaysia crimes never happened
-Japan
@Aeyahul Dianyisas Why do you hate Japan so much?
While countless people r fooled by the appearance of Japan’s clean, polite, friendly and well-paved city but Japan is a strictly hierarchical pyramid society. They rank by country, rate them, look down on both countries and people
They rank among people IMHO
Japanese people become arrogant and rough when they are United (collective madness) but the opposite when they r alone
@Aeyahul Dianyisas It is good for Ur mental health to avoid people with arrogance.
It’s best to stay away from them
I feel like while you make good points about Japans rigidness to change. I do feel like their rigidness to change is also their greatest strength in the long haul. The west is all loosie goosey with things right now. And we simply do not value each other like we used to. Everything has become political and personal freedoms are under attack constantly. I actually think the west is reaching a tipping point where conflicts are going to start up over here.
I am a disabled Army veteran who has done the war deployments and stuff. But I got to see allot more of the world than the average American. And to be honest here. I am just burned out from all the B.S. happening here. I just wanted to live out my life and enjoy peace and quiet after so many years of war. So unlike you who has a view based on business relations in Japan and how their culture can be in conflict with change. For me their culture is what draws me to them. Their country isn't PERFECT but its definitely a place I would happily live in if I can get there someday. Time will tell I guess.
Me too. Im moving there. Peace and quiet
You should stay in communist China, very stable
@@geoffreycurrie9582 if you want peace and quiet go live in the countryside of any Europe or N American or Australia or NZ, not Japan dude
@@Hali88 It's his choice DUDE
@@Hali88 I live in the US guy lol. And I was stationed in Germany for 3 years. The Germany from then is a snapshot of what the EU used to be. But now it's just another F'd up western country like the US and even Australia. And to be honest comments like yours are exactly why I want to get as far away from western life as possible. So if you don't like the idea of me wanting to find a small village in the mountains of Japan and just living in peace. Well tough tiddy. But thanks for making my point.
Thanks for sharing this. I live in Japan for 2 years now and you pin pointed what I started to think recently about this country. Enjoy the next chapter of your life !
True words! I came to Tokyo with the firm belief that I could easily, effortlessly make friends wherever I go. After 6 years, I have less than a handful of Japanese friends, and trust me, it's not for lack of trying.
Very similarly, there is a ton of things I love about Japan, but it is by no means all sunshine and rainbows.
most important question here: are you fluent in japanese? i mean actually fluent, can have a conversation about anything you want.
I currently live and work in Japan and I relate to most of what you are saying. Especially for how they conduct business. My colleagues are the nicest people I know, they make sure I feel welcome and not isolated, and there really isn't anyone causing any kind of trouble. But we have too many meetings, and the way work is conducted is overall inefficient. And while everyone is aware of it no one wants the one to bring it up. Like you said, I really think this is a politeness issue, where in Japan any kind of criticism - no matter how constructive - is seen as negative and impolite. The people at the top decide, period. (as a side note, that also makes their media rather bland, under all that surface zaniness, as there seems to be no intention to subvert the audience's values in any way whatsoever).
Another cause for concern is that they value ancientness over skill. As a result the people at the top are never challenged or questioned, and the people at the bottom don't learn to think - they just obey. Which of course means that when they get to the top they make horrible decisions, which are never questioned because questioning is impolite, etc.
The only thing where I would tend to disagree with you is on making friends. I think the reason why it's difficult for foreigners to make friends is because our mentality is so different that Japanese people don't know how to interact with us - and we don't know how to interact with them. But if you try and adapt in a more than superficial way (and if you speak the language at a really high level, meaning they can talk to you as effortlessly as they would to another native) then I find Japanese people to be very open and sociable. Not as much as the west, of course, but maybe not as bad as you made it sound either. I also don't live in Tokyo so that may be why.
(sorry for the long message, there aren't many people to have those kinds of conversations with haha).
I m Swiss. I actually have no friends in my own country. It s not a peculiar "japanese problem". He Said he has a few friends. Well..I dont. I try tho! So....
It's more of a modern problem. The Japanese were far more open (with one another) in the early to mid 20th century. And pre-
I‘m Swiss too. It’s not difficult to find friends. You can also find friends in expat communities as a Swiss.
I don't think the problem is Switzerland, the problem is you. Try working on yourself bro
@@pascoett Well...maybe maybe my dears i ll try To improve
@@SanduskysWife i Will 😊 i m a gurl btw
This was very well put together! Thank you for sharing your experience!
Thanks so much for your feedback! 😃🙌
Not sure how you define friends. But I would rather have 2-5 really close friends then houndreds of acquaintances that are "friends".
Hi Fuu, thanks for your feedback! I would define friends as someone you see regularly, like once every couple weeks, while acquaintances only a couple times a year. But I agree, having close friends is more important that acquaintances. I'd say 15-30 close friends is better though.
Why not both
Agree, this country is the paradise for introverts
same here too
@@LiveYourBestLife14 impossible to be really close to 30 people, unless you never work and just hang out with 2 or 3 a day every day lol.
Really nice video. Your gratitude and your humility shines through. There's no bitterness, but just a desire to step outside the bubble. Seems a totally normal response.
Thanks so much Paul! Really glad you enjoyed the video
@@LiveYourBestLife14 You're very welcome! I caught the boat from Shanghai to Osaka a few years back. Spent about ten days in Tokyo, Kyoto and Osaka. Hopefully when this lockdown is over I will stay there for a year. Want to avoid the major language schools so hopefully I can find a small, cosy school. I know I'll be on the outside of society, but I'm sure I'll be so blown away by the culture that I'll barely notice the downside over just a single year. I've got an American friend who's lived there for years and who tells me about her frustrations. She does voice overs for Japanese TV shows. If you ever hear a programme dubbed into English with a voice that sounds just like Marge Simpson, it's probably my friend!
This is so true. My bf lived in Japan for 3 years and he shared to me his experience about him having a meal in this restaurant in Tokyo when all of a sudden, an old man came up to him and asked, “Did you come here in Japan alone? or are you with your family?” which my bf responded “I came here alone.” then the old Japanese responded, “Good. If you have a family and if you ever think of taking them here in Japan, please don’t. We don’t really like to have so many foreigners here in our country.”
That's nitpicking the old and nationalist side of SOME of the japanese people from a 3 year time span.
I could say the same with germany: Being asian for 25 years I've been called by older people that I should just piss of this country several times. Doesn't add up and doesn't represent the majority of the people what live here.
Wow, that is surprising. I very rarely felt unwelcome in Japan.
@@iBankai1995 I would agree with your MicrolceGG. I think this was an isolated incident, not very normal from my experiences. Although once or twice in 6 years, I was the recipient of racist/you should leave Japan rhetoric
I think the reality is that Japanese don't want too many foreigners in Japan. But actually confronting a foreigner and making it known how he feels by blurting it out is a bit raw.
@@JapanMonAmourTheJapanHouse Thanks for your feedback Black Tengu! Well is it certainly true that the Japanese normally don't express their raw emotions.
Connor, thanks for your great observations and well-made video. I lived in Japan for 8 years, working 5 for the Canadian government, and I’d say you hit it right on the head. I treat Japanese with much reverence, and still am closely linked to it, with marrying a Japanese and having 3 half-Japanese kids. So we are most invested in the culture, the food and the people.
Although I travel in Japan still and have found that the Japanese have really internationalized, making close friends and opening up socially is not one of their strengths. But good friends are hard to make anywhere, like here in Canada for many people. Now when I go back and travel around, I connect with a lot of people and I find them sometimes amazingly open. I love trying to connect, even though it is often harder.
It is complex, isn’t it and such a pleasure to keep studying, even after being involved with Japan for my first time in 1975. I have been back and forth maybe 30 times and at 69, my wife and I go back and just love the country, the people, the food. And I love your perspectives.
Thanks for sharing your experiences Christopher! Totally agree with your points, it can be hard to meet people anywhere you live. Someday I also hope to move back to Japan
Hey Connor, I know that feeling. I decide to leave Japan for good after a decade of living, working and travel back and forth for business in December 2019 and tell myself forget about Japan and stop travelling there for 5 years at least to freshen up my mind. Fortunate enough to jump-start my career there as Commercial Photographer working with big brands and photograph idols and celebrities when I got represent by a Japanese Photo agency back then, it's a rare opportunity for a guy like me came from a small city in Borneo Island located in South East Asia.
It was a tough choice and decision I made and will always be grateful for those who helped me that I can't repay. But I need to move on out of the Japanese bubble. No matter how good experience and award I got as a Photographer in Japan. The recognition doesn't not equal outside of Japan.
Thanks for sharing your experiences! Sounds like you did very well in Japan🙌
Tough but fair assessment. I'm an Irish man living in Japan nearly 2 years and can identify with a lot of what you're saying. It's hard but in the end you have to do what's right for you. It's best for everyone. Good luck on your new start!
Living in Japan 🇯🇵 is lonely. Very true. I’m here for internship but after this contract I want to go home. I don’t want to stay here longer. Life is very lonely, no friends, and there’s a lot of rules .and I don’t like the people in our company. And I don’t like the weather also. It’s more fun in the Philippines 🇵🇭.
PH also has a lot of rules, kaso daming pasaway 😅
Japan: sly fox 🦊
@@peterpaul195 but people in work in the philippines socialize with others which is better than nothing at all.
@@Greyr4X yeah i know that. I don't deny that it's "more fun in the Philippines". My point was specific to his line "there's a lot of rules" (in Japan). Ph has a lot of rules too. Sadly a lot of people don't follow rules, even the simplest rules. If they can bend the rules they'll bend it. Can't even wear a facemask properly. Cant even throw their own waste properly. Im not saying all Pinoys are like this, but there are many. Discipline in Japan is just on another level compared here and perhaps compared to (where youtuber is originally from). People here have too much freedom yet lack discipline
I've spent 4 1/2 years in Japan and I think you hit the nail on the head. Me and my gf (who is also a foreigner) have had enough, and I've noticed this "risk aversion culture" has started to affect me too. I worry about things I never would have back home, and take much less risks. Like you, experiences are important to me, and so we're looking for a way out. Unfortunately with Corona it's easier said than done. Thanks for putting into words what I've been feeling these past 2 years.
Thank you for using Simon under Martina footage as they're really not videoing anymore due to her condition. It's very refreshing to see them again thank you. Oh and we've never met before, so hi
Lol 5 Years in Japan here. Still have zero Japanese friends. Love this country but its like living in heaven alone.
I feel you!
Join a kendo club or something. Japanese love their clubs and are very inclusive once you're in the same group as they are.
I agree
Just out of curiosity, did you learn how to speak Japanese?
Pfff, I have zero friends anywhere, so I might as well move if I get the chance
I have been here in Tokyo for 5+ years. Social butterfly me in home country got only one new Japanese friend here. I really have a tough time to confront everything alone without family and friends especially in pandemic. I am so depressed and lonely. I’m not lying.
Apa kabar Lei, please just try joining some hobby group or club. It can be Esperanto, flower arrangement or just hiking or bird watching...There are millions of very interesting people around you. And an amazing variety of them...
@@gurfatehsingh4328 Thank you for your suggestion. I tried a lot but still can’t establish the meaning emotional connection with them. But I will try more as you suggest.
@@leiyaminsoe Hhmm, send me a message via Google. I'm stuck in Sydney as Corona reigns now. I'm on FB also...Japan only after this storm. Kansai is a very special "Japan". Sorry I thought you were from Indonesia, actually Myan....
You’re not alone. Sending love..❤️
Great perspective on life in Japan! You hear these things in bits and pieces, but this is a complete breakdown of exactly how it is. Thanks!
Thanks so much!
Sounds like you need Mexico in your life.
I agree ! If you can work remotely and have an US like income, mexico it's a great place to live ! Warm people, great weather, good food, etc, just avoid dangerous places
@@letterbomb211 And there are dangerous places everywhere. Which I feel people ignore when they talk about Central/South America.
Mexican weather, mexican food, mexican culture, mexican girls, mexican beaches! I can't wait to visit Tulum
@@letterbomb211 Avoid dangerous place? So stay out of Mexico is what you are saying. Been there many times and you couldn't pay me to live there.
Or Brazil!
I visited Japan in 2018 and absolutely fell in love with the country. I hope someday I can return!!!
Great to hear! Hopefiully you can return someday
Well explained! I would like to hear again your perspective a few years later.
Thanks so much Mao! I certainly will share again in a few years:)
Wow. This is soo powerful and truly accurate. It’s like someone finally spelled out what’s going on in my brain. Thank you so much for this. I’m Japanese and was born and grew up here, but went to the states for my undergrad but had to come back and work here in 2019. As a returner who have international perspectives and values, every day here is a struggle. I really agree your point of the corporate situations and companies not being open to try new tactics. I’m a digital marketer working for the biggest brand in Japan and I have a fear for my future career because I do wish to return to overseas workforce but I know if I continue working here, I know I’ll be so behind my peers. Trying to get out of here ASAP haha
I do understand the attractions for foreigners to come here though. Truly it’s an amazing place to be. But even with those foreigners or expats, I struggle with connecting bc they tend to be type of people who really love Japan for what is and agree with principles Japan hold like you mentioned: order and bureaucratic system, or others just unaware and here bc they think it’s cool.
But anyways I wish I could have met anyone like you here. It’s honestly really really hard to find those who think openly, push boundaries and really want to live the life to the fullest. Wishing you the best luck and I looking forward to seeing what you’ll be doing next in this channel!
I worked in finance for Apple and had the chance to work out of the Tokyo offices for 3 months and it was the most amazing city I've ever been to. It felt like NYC but well into the future.
Amazing, glad you enjoyed Tokyo! Totally agree it is a very special city
Completely agreed! I lived in Tokyo 10 years and moved to Beijing 2 years ago as a career. there are definitely things I miss about Tokyo, but zero regret for moving to a more dynamic place.
How are the people and social life in Beijing compared to Tokyo if I may ask?
@@Matthew-fj6eu that's an interesting question actually. I'd say people in Beijing are more open to foreigners than in Tokyo. There are definitely more people who are able/willing to speak English here. That said, the overall international community is much bigger and more connected in Tokyo. It's definitely more scattered here.
Living in Japan for 10 years and yes I agree with you. And to summarize my experience, Japan is for tourist, and for working purposes. Im not gonna retire here, No. My way of living is creating a special bond withi people and treat them like family. Thats where my peace is. Unlike in the Philippines, I can feel at home to all my neighbors. Here, nah. People are so civil in a way they dont show real emotions. Plus, Im l had never ever met some of my neighbors even if we live in a apartment. Its like hide and seek. Lol
Thanks for sharing your experiences!
I wonder how much of that experience is because of Japanese behavior and how much is from modern urban living. If you live in any major, modern urban city you're going to get a certain level of distance from people. You can live in a large apartment and not know any of your neighbors or even see them. That's just what urban life is generally like. Had a freshmen roommate from Nevada that was rather shocked about how rather cold people on the East Coast of the US were. Where he is from, people normally look each other in the eye and just say "hi" even if they are strangers. Not so in big cities on the East coast. He found when he did that people would either not respond or just look at him strangely. There people do not normally greet each other unless they knew each other and had some reason to contact you.
I taught in Japan for 3 years. One of my students, a woman of about 55, told me that she would never become friends with someone in under 2 years.
Thank you for the great video! I enjoyed a lot!☺️🙏
As Japanese 🇯🇵, the 'bad' aspect of Japan is the exact reason why I left Japan when young. But the 'good’ aspect of Japan is the reason I came back.
It's not a perfect country, I don't like some aspects, but no countries are perfect. So I agree, it depends on person and what you value the most☺️
I love and cherish my country including the flows：)
Thanks so much for your feedback Lemi-chan! I am really happy you related to the video & thought it was accurate. Couldn't agree more that each country has pros & cons, Japan is certainly #1 in my book though:)
Been living in and of Japan for 8 years, and working for a Japanese company for more than 10 years... this is 100% accurate.
Thanks so much! 🙌
Been here just over 6 years and I think this video covers a lot of good points in a well rounded way. I've worked for 2 Japanese companies and OMG some things are so backwards. The Japanese are very stuck in their ways and they don't know how to do business with overseas companies. The Japanese staff at my company are constantly complaining about how foreign companies just want money at every opportunity, but they fail to realise how they contributed to the problem. When shit hits the fan they always say oh if it were a Japanese company they would have handled it differently blah blah blah. They are quick to shift the blame to the foreigners, but they fail to notice that companies are running BUSINESSES they aren't gonna hold your hand and offer you FREE services that you THINK you would get if you were dealing with a Japanese company.
At my company we have lots of meetings but nothing gets done. My manager had to go in JUST to stamp documents with his seal mid corona... 2020/2021 and you don't have a digital version??? da hell???
In regards to what he said about the Japanese not being so sociable, I agree and disagree to a certain extent. Obviously everyone's experiences are different but I do think that if you can speak Japanese they are more open to speaking to you. That being said, I haven't met many Japanese people by going out out. Instead, I've met all of my Japanese friends from language apps, language events and things of the sort.
I'm planning on moving back soon myself because I miss being in a multicultural environment. I miss being able to speak my mind freely without having to worry that I'm going to upset anyone with my different opinion. Walking on eggshells 24/7 is VERY exhausting.
I've lived here for nearly 8 years of my life and I couldn't agree more, however, there are other aspects of society that additionally rub me the wrong way such as the soft racism and how foreigners are typically pigeonholed into certain types of work. Overall the experience here has been great for many of the same reasons you outlined, but I feel it's time to pack it in and head to the next adventure.
Thanks for sharing your experiences, good luck with the next adventure!
Love the video. Much of it sounds very spot on. The trash situation alone is maddening: so many different types of trash, must have the proper type of trashbag, and good luck finding a trashcan anywhere in public. Renting an apartment? Be prepared to pay a whole bunch of weird fees. I have to say, the sociability aspect really seems specific to Tokyo. I've lived in Okinawa & travel back often. I make new friends every time I go back and I'm still in touch with them. I've had people invite me into their homes after a 5 minute conversation. The people in the countryside and some of the other major cities can be a lot more warm than your average Tokyo cityfolk.
Thanks for sharing your experiences Eric!
To paraphrase, "Japan isn't global enough, over 50% of their consumption is domestic."
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It is a bad thing once you realize that this youtuber is a CIA operative that has a Jewish mother.
@@Plusimurfriend 😂
@@Plusimurfriend based af
Yh but the computer market is getting older in Japan, less consumer, soon no one to buy anything
@@aayonambrose7575 what? Esport is booming in Japan right now lol.
I find your honest opinion and detailed rundown very interesting. To an Asian like me, some of the cons you have described, such as the difference in god value, is just because for a long time Japan was essentially an agriculture-based feudal Asian society which value hard work, order, stability and hierarchy over individuality or freedom of speech, which are typical western values that largely originate from a representative-based government and trade economy. Being an island nation isolated in the Pacific played a part too.
I really liked how you made an honest approach at the good and the bad. Many people are just talking about one side strongly.
I have made the experience that being able to speak communicative Japanese helps alot with making new acquaintances, having interesting conversations and a good night out. Corporate Japanese is not doing the job for this, because Japanese people are way more likely to open up to someone who also immediately opens up to them (in a linguistic sense). Ofc, this doesn't work for or on anybody, but for me - I have had many fun nights out!
Real friends I have made few, but this has been no different in my home country as well. I'd rather have a few close friends than many people around me that I can't count on.
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences! Totally agree with everything you said
Thanks for the great video Connor. I'm looking to move to Japan in the near future to start my own consulting business so your video was really helpful and informative with knowing what i'm getting myself into.
"I want to live life to the fullest and not be afraid about risk and be spontaneous, and Japan is the opposite of that"
Me, who lives in a country with very high unemployment and high cost of life and just wants a place to live a normal safe average life: ✨ N I C E ✨
I live in Guatemala.
Same... I think when you grow up taking some things for granted, you also forget their true value. Personally, like you, just wants to find a job after uni,get my on my own feet, and live a normal life with a normal wage. Just a simple average life.
@@GrandDuchessT Yes... i know its hard but lets try hard and hope we find it!
Ahahah yes this video love letter is a privilege person problem
Absolutely on point. After 25 yrs in Nippon, life here is unique. Hate to see you go, but I GET IT. All the best! Gambatte!
...and to anyone thinking of coming to Japan and starting a business without intermediate Japanese reading and writing or at least a permanent translator in tow...forget it!
In order to fully assimilate into a foreign society, you must look like the members of this society.Asians are just as difficult among Europeans
I think it goes the other way too! I genuinely respect the westerners who decide to spend time in the east - at least they get a taste of how brutal it is as an Asian man in the west!
I didn't know that actually, i have more asian colleges in Europe, then I ever was building up relationships in Asia in the past 8 years. Maybe it's me, but most friendships i building up are only very basic and end up business related
But western whites get star treatments in Asia and the same can't be said for Asians in the West.
@Fernando R That is changing.
@Fernando R not true, I've lived in Germany for 15 years and have a lot of friends in Munich such as germans as well as expats ( I'm American/Brazilian and a quarter german with jewish heritage) I've also got japanese Friends here and back in Japan too. I m still in touch with most of them though. It depends on your personality...
I agree completely with you. As a visitor this country is perfect . If you are Japanese you must suppress emotions always be hyper aware of what others think of you and your behaviour. You must know your place in every aspect of life including language. The work group comes before family, being a good worker and good team player is more important than sleep, recreation, health and relationships. This why I think the people are lonely even though they do not show it. Riding the trains with exhausted salary workers was shocking to me, the nicest people in the world who are so hard on themselves. Hope the younger generation will not have to live such a difficult life.
I will be going to Japan soon after living in America, in a specifically loud and aggravated environment (a environment that makes me anxious). I had a couple of Japanese friends, only one now. I can definitely see what you are talking about. I wish they were more open to their own growth. Some, but a lot of whom I met would be like, "but that's how it is" and would expect me to adjust in ways without the same expectations (like a radical acceptance of habits that just won't work here in America since they are here where I am). This was most apparent to me when I married a Japanese man. It was short lived since he said he was supposed to work as the husband, and basically all forms of intimacy were basically nonexistent (but he was real fun to talk to! One of my other friends, his cousin explained that he is sticking with what he was taught a marriage is). I worry about their emotions. They gotta start developing soon, or their gonna pop! 😯 some are less conservative, others too much so, as if little balance or in between. I hope this makes sense.
Hi Candy, thanks for sharing your insights! I agree with you and hope the Japanese continue to be more outgoing, but at the same time, their exceptional politeness could be partly due to this, so it’s hard to say what is the right way forward
@@LiveYourBestLife14 that's a good point. Hmm...hopefully, they will find a balance somewhere.
No, they’re not going to “pop” if they don’t develop more emotions, we are not emotionally undeveloped! IF you were culturally Japanese, you’d understand that they really are a warm and caring people. They show their emotions subtly. No need to advertise how we feel to everyone in the vicinity. In their interactions with people outside of their culture they opt for politeness because you can’t go wrong with being polite. I’m half Japanese and half American Irish and grew up in Japan then came to the US at the age of 13. I was not considered a typical Japanese child, we were a little bit wild and a little too willful. But it was accepted because we were still half Japanese and we were loved. Then we moved to the US. First day in school was a shock. There I saw a class full of students who seemed incapable of demonstrating self control. They acted as if they would “pop” if they had to sit still and be quiet for a second. So Candy Peeps, you may have a point there. Maybe people like you would actually pop if they have to hold in their emotions? Did you say you wish they were “open to their own growth”? That’ a little insulting, don’t you think? Yes there’s nothing wrong with soul searching and personal growth but a whole different thing to imply that an entire culture needs to be open to their growth because it doesn’t fit into an non-Japanese individual’s standards. Japan’s culture is thousands of years old. They had castles when other countries were living in huts. I think we had sufficient time to grow. Having said that, after living in the US for 50 years, there’s nothing wrong with showing emotions and being a “wild card” either. What I don’t like are people who are not open minded enough to accept and respect other cultures and people that practices naive realism. It’s dangerous, it’s the root of racial, ethnic, religious, and cultural discord and inequality. So please you need not worry about our emotions popping, there’s nothing radical about our acceptance of culture and don’t worry about our growth. We are grown, everyone just has to catch up. Thanks for your concern but no thank you. This is coming from a person who grew up in Japan , were considered wild there, came to the US and lived here for 50 years and embrace both cultures.
@@sumirevbd First off you are also not being openly honest now are you? As an Japanese and half American, you never where classified as Japaneses period. You where and are American in the eyes of the Japanese period. Ask your parents why they moved back to America if you don't believe so.
The Japanese also don't hold their emotions, they conform. They are not allowed to think, show emotion that might not align with the rest of society, be different etc.... as they will be cast off; much like it sounds happened to you at 13yrs old.
"What I don’t like are people who are not open minded enough to accept and respect other cultures and people that practices naive realism. It’s dangerous, it’s the root of racial, ethnic, religious, and cultural discord and inequality."
Really explains Japanese as whole since if you are not Japanese then you are not Japanese. Japan as whole doesn't accept other cultures, respect other cultures based on the fact that assume/expect you to conform to the Japanese way even as foreigner living in Japan. Japanese also live in a naive realistic state and at the core are very racist due to being brought up to think Japanese way is best, right and shouldn't be questioned. Not to mention the inequality anyone in Japan faces once labelled with a tag, stereo type, nationality etc... Even so much so that foreigners (residence of Japan) are being banned entry to Japan since they are simple still viewed as Foreigner even though they are Residency with work, school, families etc... in the country that they choose to call home.
The open fear created by the government and media about foreigners especially due the Covid is racist, discriminatory and shows so much inequality is laughable; if not for the fact they are destroying families that are view as foreigners even if they were born and raised in Japan. Did you know only Foreigners can get Covid? That is what the government and media is this country is stating. I cannot walk down the street here without people staring, crossing the street or looking at me like I am walking death since I am foreigner.
And Yes, my two Japanese sons are going to be/are being treated differently, not because they are a little bit wild and a little too willful or the fact that they are not considered a typical Japanese child because they are viewed as Foreigners and will always be viewed as foreigners.
They have never lived anywhere but Japan yet are asked daily when they are going home.
I also get the same treatment as "when I am asked where are you from?" and I answer Japan, I get the typical response, "No, Where are you from?" and I answer with city, area etc... in Japan; which leads to them continuing not to accept my answers until I answer, I am from the North America. I then get the next fun question "when are you going home?" and I get to play the game again, around six a clock when works done. "No, When are you going home?" and I answer, "which home as I only have one."Oh, you know your home country? I am in my home country; No, Your own home country? I am resident of Japan. Yeah but when are you going home? I have no plans too since I am living in Japan now. Uh, oh um.
My final statement will be this, you are right that anyone that isn't culturally Japanese wouldn't understand since we were not raised to conform, suppress emotions and to fit everything within the social stereo types that make up the culturally Japanese society. And yes, I understand that they really are a warm and caring people but doesn't expect them to be open minded enough to accept and respect other cultures as it is unnatural for them. At the end of the day you are and always will be foreigner period.
It also depends on city people or rural people. People in less populated areas often welcome company. Same in other countries.
Nice video. I've been living in Tokyo for 11 years now, and the two principles you mention are the ones that every day makes me challenge my choices of long term life here.
Fortunately I am an introvert so japan is good enough. I’ve had enough excitement in my life
You blew my mind around 5:45 when you said, simply, that the Japanese's main principles in life are risk aversion, and not upsetting others. I have been telling my friends here about that just from my own observation. I've been living here for a few years and basically it's a great place for all the reasons you mentioned in the video. However, those common instances of frustration with me, and other foreigners, stems from those principles. It's maddening, how they refuse to do something creative or kind to resolve an issue, leading to a beneficial result to all involved. Instead, they stick to a routine believing that's the only way things must be done every time. I'm talking abstractly, but if you've lived in Japan you know what I'm talking about.
Thanks for sharing your experiences!
It's not the language barrier, it's the cultural barrier. I speak fluent Japanese, & I still just DON'T get to meet any new friends at parties (UNLESS you're introduced via an existing Japanese friend) or at bars/ clubs (UNLESS it's a foreign friendly bar/club & chances are, that Japanese person who genuinely wants to become friends with a foreigner has lived abroad somewhere).
Of course you get to "meet" new people, but the conversation will LITERALLY be just ALL shallow, surface-level small talk, nothing personal, deep or philosophical. Most of the time, it will be about NOTHING (just a bunch of set phrases aisatsu & aizuchi "soudesune" & "sou desuka" & PREPARE TO TALK ENDLESSLY ABOUT THE WEATHER/ SEASONS LOL).
To put it bluntly, Japan is an island of mostly selfish, cowardly introverts who won't go out of their way to know or appreciate anything out of their comfort zone (i.e.: anything non-Japanese) for fear of being "shamed"...
Sad but utterly true.
Creative & risk-taking Japanese are all in the arts or entertainment (where the pendulum swings the other way & once they've "made it" they're almost allowed to do ANYTHING as established cultural iconoclasts), or have all moved away from Japan.
I'm just talking about the big cities, especially Tokyo.
I'm sure rural Japanese, especially west in Kansai & down south, are warmer & friendlier. Just a tad bit though; don't expect Italian/ Spanish/ Brazilian levels of friendliness. LOL.
Thanks for sharing your experiences Johannes! I'd have to agree with a lot of what you said
“Japan is an island full of mostly selfish cowardly introverts” you sound like every bitter old man that went to Japan thinking that moving away from their home country would solve all their problems and that moving to Japan would somehow make them Japanese. So sad.
They want to host the Olympics.
@@kidanaoki1947 No, I left Japan right after graduation. But I still visit regularly. It's FABULOUS for holidays. Great food, the omotenashi, the temples, the nature. Just not living there (unless you're rich af & old & established & respected in your field). Most of my Japanese friends agree. But then again, most of my Japanese friends are not Japanese Japanese, & much prefers living where they are not shackled by robotic rules & the strict standards of Japanese society.
Why do you think the suicide rate in Japan is at crisis level now?
More Japanese died from suicide instead of covid in 2020.
Sad but that's the reality.
日本人たち幸せに成りますように、どうか。
Oh yes the old suicide card. When in fact, US ranks 34th in suicide per capita, only four behind Japan (14.3 vs 13.7 per 100,000). And that’s on top of a huge drug addiction/overdose epidemic. (+ gen z in America is projected to have much larger numbers in terms of mental health issues and drug problems). And yes there’s always outcast in any society. Your Japanese friends gravitated towards you cause you were someone who was an outsider, much like how they felt. Usually Japanese people who make foreigner friends are like this. So yeah, your understanding of what “Japanese people think” is mostly from an outcasts perspective.
It was touching thank you for sharing your experience with us, I wish you the best in your future endeavours.
I lived in Japan for only 6 months and made quite a few friends. I do prefer to spend most of my time alone or working, and meet friends 1-2x a week though so "what is a friend" may be different to me. I was on a futsol team, and had friends I could meet up with every other week for drinks. I had one friend I met every few days. People at bars tended to be very talkative and friendly, even if we always left the friendship at the bar. The big question mark for me is the Japanese level. I also lived in China for 10 years and had a LOT of friendships. My friends that stayed in foreigner friendship circles and didn't speak much Chinese didn't have friends. If you didn't speak the language, I feel like there may be a chance you didn't immerse yourself in the culture and stayed on the outside.
Very true, thanks for sharing your experiences!
This is hitting me on a molecular level. I’m starting my 6th year in Japan in March and know that I want to go back to my country of origin (the Netherlands) in the next few years at least, but with the pandemic it’s hard to figure out the right time.
I lived two years in Japan but came back to the US. I had a lot of acquaintances and a couple friends. Actually, not too bad considering I’m introverted and have fewer friends here in the US. But the language barrier is pretty tough. What scares me the most is the overtime work culture. I didn’t want a regular Japanese job even if I qualified for one. I will admit I’m a not a super hard worker. Unless it’s studying foreign languages 😊. Nice video and assessment of Japan.
Thanks so much Paul!
And you came back to the US with its own overtime culture? :) Maybe Spain, South American or the Nordic countries will be your sweet spot
@@Limemill Europe sounds nice. I hate overtime haha. I take a certain pleasure in complaining to Japanese people about having to stay 20 minutes late on my job.
@@paulwalther5237 yeah and it's not like it adds to the productivity either. They just stall and burn out
Fantastic video Connor.
I'm considering options right now to move and Japan is right now high on my list, So this is very helpful for me and my wife to make the decision first to go on holiday there and then assess if it is the right option for us.
Also with this quality you'll probably hit 100k real quick.
Which results in the fabulously well run country that you said was the best. It is. Seriously, sitting there spouting how Japan should conduct itself. The gaul.
Ohhh, thanks for the hate message! I real rite of new RUclipsr passage! 🙌
@@LiveYourBestLife14 levity, not hate. You may want to discern between the two. Let me help. I do not know you. I do not hate you. I ruminate on the wisdom of critiquing the most successful country on the planet. I suggest you are being an orientalist and arrogant, or is that just being American?
Love the video. Been here for 5 years and I agree a lot with what you’re saying. Also, Istanbul is also one of my favorite cities.
Finally I got a honest and mature review in Japan living.... instead of some girl saying that living in Japan sux because people will stare at her due to her clothings! It’s always been my dream to live in Tokyo, Japan... but I knew I will only move there if I have enough money to live there without having to work there. I do know japan is very traditional in terms of many things and thanks for that honest opinion and good luck to you in the future ! I do want to add something though, in terms of making friends ,,,, I mean.... living in NYC my self,, are the people you know through work truly are your friends though ? 🤷🏻♀️ We chatted because we need to co working together and the better relationship we have the more benefits to us.... but friends though? After you guys no longer working together,,, things will just became less friendly.... it’s what today’s society are right now.... we are all connected through technology but are we really as close as we think ?
Tokyo is less expensive than NYC. You can afford it.
You summarized all my feelings and thoughts. been here since 2013
Loving here for some years and several more combined over the span of 15 years, I can say life here can be really tough, for sure. But it will bring you closer to your values and makes you appreciate your roots and the experiences you accumulate which will change you for good or worse
Thanks for sharing your experiences Natto! Like your name, btw😂
What are you talking about. I grew up in Japan when I was 7-11 then 18-22 and loved every minute of it once I had a basic understanding of the the language. I have been back eight times over the last six years and look forward to going back again as soon as it’s safe to travel again. I love that I can go for a walk in downtown Tokyo any time of the day or night and feel as safe as in my mother’s arms. Any country that is safe enough to allow their elementary school age children to walk to school without any worry is OK in my book. When I was asked by friends what’s the best example of why I am such a big fan of living in Japan I tell them this. They still have liquor vending machines ( not as common as the past due to so many convenience stores)outside of stores so at night when you are entertaining guests and run out of drinks you can get more. The structure of what is right and wrong allows them to do that. Kids know what’s expected of them and leave the liquor machines alone. Here in the US you couldn’t get away with that. Trains and buses are as quite as libraries as to not disturb others unlike the states where it’s f bomb central and everything is total chaos. The world could learn a lot from Japan and I have better stop or my fingers will become raw with all my typing I could go on forever. P.S. If you can’t make friends in Japan that’s on you.
G'day from Sydney! The reasons stated in this video would make sense to explain how you reached your decision, and that is personal and must be respected. From my 25 plus years in Japan I would make just one comment: maybe you stuck to Tokyo and its environs...Japanese people being unfriendly? I beg to differ. But I spent 99.99% of my time there avoiding Tokyo and enjoying Kansai. Cool down, have some more fun out of Japan and please come back for a "second dip". Moving on is good, but moving back can be fantastic!
Thanks for sharing your experiences!
Wow this was such a good video! Precise and to the point, kept me engaged throughout and very informative!! Nice one :)
Thanks so much Emilia!! I think sometimes I am a bit boring😂 But happy you found it engaging:)
Really interesting video, I have visited Japan twice and loved my trips, but struggled to understand some Japanese friends I had in London, this and the comments shed a lot of light.. You sure know how to make great content! Good luck in your next home.
Thanks so much Susan! Really happy you enjoyed the content 🙌 I am loving Bali so much, thanks so much:) Stay safe in London, or wherever you are these days 🙏
Great video. I only recently realized how cheap Japan is, once you get outside the heart of central Tokyo. We are in the process of moving to Japan. I am excited about the move, but also filled with trepidation for the future.
i'm young japanese and i tell you(someone watching this comment) how to make friends. first, japanese level is so important. we can talk easily. second, join the group.if you're student, it's school .if you're an adult , it's a company or hobby gathering which you can contact with on SNS.
Hey thankyou for the advice! By the way, do you have any specific advice for ASIAN foreigners? Because I’m a young Indonesian... ありがとうございます😊
@@Matthew-fj6eu i see many asians in tokyo and i dont think there are something only asian people have to care about (but i don't know other city situations) maybe there are a lot of indonesians in tokyo(?)
Your content is so down to earth and helpful. Thanks so much! Really considering living in Japan. I’m very bored with where I live. Only lived in the US and the UK. I am not certain it’s the right move.
You can do it!
Thank you for your video! It is always great when somebody expresses their true feelings.
Japan is not a place suited to extroverts, rather a place where foreign introverts will finally feel a bit of respite. This is why until Japan became so fashionable, only a certain type of foreigners would make the effort to live in Japan. Yes, the "nerdy" types. I was one of them.
Comfort? That surprised me! Most people in Tokyo don't have that much comfort, especially not space. Granted, it's now cheaper than NYC, London or Paris, since the prices haven't changed much in at least three decades, however housing is not the best part of living in Japan, particularly not Tokyo or other large urban centers, unless you have a lot of money, which is not the case of your average Suzuki-san. One to two hour-commutes to work each way on overcrowded trains from and to tasteless suburban towns, only to go back home to cramped housing with bad heating is more the norm. Otherwise, tiny studio flats.
Regarding the perceived cons, the question is: could Japan be as outstanding as it still is now if it were globalized like nearly every other nation? I don't think so! Either we take it with its cultural shortcomings, or it'll lose its unique qualities. I personally don't think the current model of globalization has only benefitted nations, for it usually came at a very high cultural price. Besides, the world is globalized alright, but the ball was open on strictly Western values, and so "globalized" really is another word for "anglicized", in truth. They might have a point wanting to remain different on their land, and it's certainly theirs to decide.
Being neither Japanese nor North American, but very accustomed to both cultures, I can't help but see how the things you miss in Japan are actually current North American values, and it's only natural to miss things that are so much ingrained in us that we don't even notice they're actually cultural. However, we can't expect others to find them as desirable as we do.
All the best to you, and you'll probably miss Japan quicker than you think, everyone does! ;-)
This is a great video....thank you for sharing your experiences. You are right about one thing, once you have a family your outlook on MANY things changes. Cheers to you and best of luck for the future.
Thanks so much Wendy! Glad you enjoyed it:)
I'm Japanese and lived in US for about 4 years, I still want to go back to Japan....
Japan is amazing 😻
Let me guess you live in California? 😂
どうぞ👋
go back to a fake, boring and lifeless country :v
@@sonnyy4303 😂😂😂
Thanks for a great video and breakdown of what living in Japan could be like. I also agree with your sentiments about finding a place that is more in line with personal temperament/hierarchy of values.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Other people have mentioned that to get "into" a place like Japan, you really need to commit yourself to it. If you like difficult challenges, Japan might be for you. If you come to Japan and expect to (or require to) live exactly like you would in your own country, you won't last long and you'll be counting the days you can leave. If people can see you are interested and committed -- not just in the money you intend to make or other surface things whether it be anime, karate, tradition etc but rather in being part of society as well -- then and only then will you make real friends. Yes, language is a must to actually feel a part of Japan (you don't have to be good, just dedicated), but not if you're snotty lol. And you don't even have to be married any more (unlike whenI first arrived several decades ago!), unless you want permanent residency.
Yeah, I felt his disappointment was really his own fault.
I loved the bit of insight into the business aspect, all the best with your next adventure!
Thanks so much Fabio!