Getting Diagnosed with Schizophrenia - My experience getting diagnosed with a severe mental illness
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- Опубликовано: 31 мар 2023
- Hi!
Here is a video where I talk a little about my experience getting diagnosed with an illness like paranoid schizophrenia, what happened and what the process was like.
thank you for watching! ❤️
contact: kimberlyhallberg95@outlook.com
#livingalonewithschizophrenia #schizophrenia #mentalhealth #livingwithschizophrenia #schizophreniaawareness
Equipment:
Camera: iphone 13
Editing software: iMovie
Thumbnails: canva, procreate
Music: epidemicsound
All of my music is from epidemic sound! www.epidemicsound.com/music/f...
Tags: schizophrenia, mental health, living with mental illness,
Don't worry about how others with schizophrenia are doing. What I've learned is to not allow anybody else to set limits on what I can achieve. It helps to look at your treatment or welfare as a very long bootcamp where you can focus fully on your own self improvement. You are free to learn and expand as much as you want without even needing to make any progress at first. A very common thing in self development is the idea that investing in yourself is the only thing you can invest in that cant be taken away. Which I why I'm spending my time as effectively and productively as I can manage. Don't compare yourself to others, when I started focusing only on what I wanted is when I started seeing rapid improvement in my mental health. And nowadays I'm pretty high functioning, though still unemployed.
thank you for your advice! I know you shouldn't compare yourself to other but it's hard sometimes when you see everyone around you succeeding 🥹 thank you for your lovely comment! I hope to find some way to some of my goals also someday! 💚
THANK YOUUU for being real and sharing such an intimate part of your life. I have goals too and it sometimes feels like I’ll never achieve them and I’ll feel overwhelmed and freeze. I’ve been doing school one or two classes per semester and although I won’t complete my goals at the same pace others do I am confident taking it slow is best for me.
oh thank you for sharing! Im glad you liked the video. 💚 But I agree it can be so hard having to realize that you have a different pace to live by. I really hope you'll achieve all your goals too! 💚
Hey Kimberly e hoa, it's okay, you're NOT a burden on society. In Sweden they have pretty good care for those who need it and guess what? you DESERVE it. I know how hard it is to try and deal with schizophrenia as I have schizoaffective disorder, and I've had to accept that my capacity for certain things such as work is lower than it is for others. I can't work full time - I've tried SO many times and every times it's ended in a disastrous big relapse. But you know what I realised? some people who work full time hate their lives and hate their jobs, so in some ways, I'm really lucky. Don't be too hard on yourself - I think you're doing amazing and comparison is the thief of joy after all. It can be hard to watch others skip along through life without having to deal with this or think about it, but you have insight. You're neurodivergent, and your diversity matters. Here in New Zealand, the indigenous sometimes refer to those who see and hear things as matakite, which is considered a taonga, or sacred gift. It doesn't always feel like a gift when you're suffering I know, but there's more than one way of looking at it I suppose. Kia kaha - sending you love.
oh thank you! ❤️ yes we do have pretty good care here and I do need to remind myself that its there for a reason, to help people like us. thank you for your lovely comment, sending you love as well and hope you get a nice Sunday! 🥹❤️
Thank you Kimberly! Listening to you makes me feel I can accept having an illness rather than denying it. All time I forget I have an illness and think I'm as capable as healthy people. Then I feel guilty and wonder what is wrong with my life when I don't feel well. Maybe the illness is the answer, that's what's wrong with my life or at least partly.
thank you, i'm glad my content is having some kind of use! 💚 and I can relate to feeling guilty when you see others working hard and you just can't in the same capacity... thank you for your comment and have a nice sunday! ❤️
learning tips & tricks about productivity has helped me with accomplishing my goals - e.g. books like Getting Things Done, RUclips videos about productivity or courses
thank you for the tip! 😊
What really helped me with my goals is that I started to take very very small steps towards them. And yes I had to adjust and had to change some of my plans to my current abilities. But I have never given up. I have started seeing improvements and some light that I can reach some of my goals in the near future. It took me almost a decade. I know it is hard. Just take everything step by step. ❤
thank you! thats great advice! ❤️
At age 40, I began a career that puts me in contact with individuals who have schizophrenia a few times a year. I previously had very negative ideas about this illness. My clients with schizophrenia are some of the most intelligent, lovely people I’ve ever met. God bless.
oh wow thank you for sharing! 😍❤
Hej Kimberly!
Tänk hur livet kan bli. Att vår hjärna är komplicerad är ju helt klart. Att den styr och påverkar våra liv på alla sätt. Men den ska inte sätta stopp för dina drömmar! Jag hoppas att du kämpar på och aldrig ger upp! Önskar dig verkligen ALLT gott och en trevlig helg!❤😊
åh tack så mycket! önskar dig en trevligt helg du med! 🥹❤❤
Thanks for sharing. That could be a really really hard time of your life. I am sorry you had to experience that. But when you feel like a burden, remember that it is not your fault that you have this illness. So don’t feel guilt about it. You did not ask for it, it just happened. That thought helps me when I have dysfunctional periods in my life due to my depression and other mental health problems. I know you are doing your best. ❤ you are worthy.
thank you for your kind words! sending you a hug! ❤️
You are amazing, as well a blessing to many people around the world. You are a teacher , an artist and counselor. I learn so much from your videos. I now have greater insight to my son's. Life living with schizophrenia. He is not open to share as you are.
Thank you.❤
oh wow thank you Cynthia! it makes me very happy to know you have some use of my content! sending you and your son my best well wishes! 🥹❤
Hi Kimberly. I have a very good friend with schizophrenia and I've been watching your channel to educate myself so I can be a better friend. What you contribute on your channel is important. Therefore you are important. I'm reaching out to you with a virtual hug know that you are loved.
oh thank you! it makes me happy to hear that my content has some kind of use. again thank you and have a nice day. Im certain that you're a good friend to have! sending both you and your friend a hug too! ❤
Please be encouraged…I see an intelligent and yes, ambitious, young woman. ❤♥️
thank you! ❤
Hi Kimberly-- thank you so much for sharing! This helps others to see we're not alone..
I'm a 37 year old female from the US who also experiences delusions and paranoia..
mine is diagnosed as bipolar with psychotic features.
Also, we have something else in common, as my symptoms also arose around the same time as problems in the relationship between my father and I.
May I ask what happened between you and your father? You don't have to share if you don't want to.
My dad is an alcoholic which has caused a lot of problems in our lives..
Anyway, thank you again for sharing your story..
Please stay healthy and well ❤😊
Hi! thank you for watching! ❤ I used to have a video about my father but had to take it down since it was discussing sensitive subjects, but to put it short; he's a classic narcissist... there's more stuff to it but I don't want my channel to get demonetized so I won't speak about it here, hope you understand! 😊
sending you my best well wishes! 🥰❤
Thank you for sharing your experiences, emotions and thoughts this openly Kimberly. Many, many are going to be inspired, educated and able to mirror their own journeys, struggles and healing in mental illness by your videos. You take care.
oh thank you for your lovely comment! 🥹 I hope you have a nice weekend! ❤️
Never feel like a burden on the system or behind etc I'm 43 and schizophrenic basically out of work and does seem a bit hopeless too but I still have hope I could do something productive with my time and make a good living even as far down the track as me... Maybe we are where we are meant to be right now... I might only have hope until I'm 65... But then I'll retire... then we are all in the same boat... Just a little less money... A bit scary that but if I'm happy money is less important...
thank you! and yes I do need to remind myself of that sometimes, I also hope to do something productive in the future but I will most likely have to take small steps, again thank you! ❤️
Thanks for sharing. I've had psychosis 3 times in my life. I stopped taking my medication a few times.. I've been stable for 5 years now and am a mental health peer support worker ❤
glad to hear you're doing so good! 😍
thank you so so much for sharing. i had depression as well, and during the worst periods i felt exactly like you, in regards of being a burden to others, about how the future will unfold for me, about how i be able to provide for myself
thank you for watching! 😊
Hi Kimberly, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experiences...this in itself is a sign of strength! I wish you happiness and success through all the baby steps moving forward. Have a wonderful week :)
Thank you so much! and you too! 🥹❤️
You are so unbelievably brave and courageous ❤
It doesn't seem like you ever fought against your treatment and diagnosis like most people do with this condition, so there's so much hope and possibilities for your future regardless of your challenges.
My sister has Schizophrenia and she's fighting against treatment and her diagnosis and refuses to take medication.
It's unbelievably soul destroying to see her suffer, struggle and witness her life fall apart. I've done everything in my power to support her and get the help she needs but everyone who tries to help her is seen as an enemy. It's been utterly devastating to everyone who loves and cares about her.
Never stop believing in your hopes and dreams! You are most certainly not a burden! By bravely sharing your story you are raising awareness and helping us understand what our loved ones are going through.
With your strength and bravery, you'll go very far. Just continue to believe in your hopes, dreams and future x
oh thank you and thank you for sharing! im saddened by your sisters story, I hope she will get better eventually. I have heard that the first 10 years are the hardest... sending you some strength! 💚
@@KimberlyHallberg
Thank you, Kimberly 🙏 I appreciate your kind wishes for my sister ❤️
Keep up the great work and carry on sharing your very insightful videos.!
I really appreciate your honest content and your deep sincerity.
@@claireh007 thank you! that makes me happy to hear! 🥹💚
@@KimberlyHallberg 🤗
Även om jag har andra diagnoser än det du har, så känner jag mig igen i vad du berättar. Jag önskar att jag hade orkat jobba och bidra till samhället. Samtidigt har jag behövt inse att jag har ett värde som människa, oavsett vad jag gör och inte gör.
Många styrkekramar till dig, om du tycker om kramar!
åh tack! och ja det är sant, dock så är det något jag har haft svårt för att inse, att jag också har ett värde. ha en fin fredag! 🥰
@@KimberlyHallberg Det är lov att använda mycket tid på att landa i vad som fungerar för dig (och det är lov att tycka att det är svårt!).
💚@@pyenygren2299
Kimberly, my sister was horribly psychotic for 15 years until they put her on Clozaril. I hope they have tried it with you also, they are realizing that people who are diagnosed with schizophrenia has been in absolute error and in due time, their illness took on a very different trajectory or remission. Also, KARxt is coming on market in late August and it is supposed to be a complete game changer. Targets entirely different receptors and gave significant improvements in remediating the "negative" symptoms of schizophrenia. Stay strong! love seeing your videos. Keep them coming!
thank you! 💚 I haven't heard of clozaril before but I will look it up! 💚
@@KimberlyHallberg - it is the gold standard but is reserved in the United States for cases where people are treatment resistant or are suicidal in addition to psychosis disorders. It does require monitoring the blood on a monthly, but it can make PROFOUND improvements.
@@YellinHelenP oh okay, i had never heard of it before, maybe it hasn't been approved here yet but I will look it up! have a happy easter or weekend! 💚
@@KimberlyHallberg That sounds like Clozapine! I have never heard of Clozaril. Maybe the two are related. 🤔
@@gigahorse1475 yes I thought about clozapine as well...
just looked it up and clozaril is another name for clozapine apparently! 😊
I have it too. Also I just found out that I have M.S. also and I gained weight and I feel like a burden sometimes. You are not alone
thank you, i'm so sorry to hear about the MS diagnosis... I wish you well, it must be hard to deal with... ❤🩹
Hi Kimberly, im a new subscriber. I just want to say you are seem like a sweetheart and I'm sorry you have to struggle with this disorder. I don't have schizophrenia, but i am on the autism spectrum and have ADHD, so i can relate to some of the mental health issues. I felt sad with you thinking of the successful professor with schizophrenia. I too think of all the brilliant minds with autism and all they've been able to accomplish. But its important to remember that our story is not their story. It doesn't have to mean that we "failed at life" somehow. The fact that you are able to even do these videos for us shows progress to me; i doubt you could have done so at the peak of your psychosis. I find that people with mental health disorders are so hard on themselves. But what you actually need, is kindness and care towards yourself. You can still have goals, but give yourself grace during the journey. Thank you for sharing your story with us! Greetings from USA
Hi! thank you for your kind comment, I agree that we tend to be hard on ourselves which in the longterm can probably instead be hindering in reaching our goals. 🤔 thank you for watching and subscribing! ❤
Thank you Kimberly, you are so sweet and kind for sharing. I have a daughter who is struggling with this new diagnosis and listening to you is helping me cope too. God Bless you🙏🏾😇
oh thank you Angela! 🥹 i'm glad my videos have some use. Im sending you and your daughter my best well wishes! 💖
You really are awesome, this is a tough road. Time does help, you are very intelligent. Stay strong!
thank you! 🥹💚
Är så glad varje gång du kommer med en video!
åhh tack!! 🥹❤❤❤
Hello, Kimberly♡Thank you for sharing.That diagnosis must have been such a shock. I relate to your feelings about not having been told the diagnosis. I found my epilepsy diagnosis in my medical documents many years after my brain surgery. I wish someone had explained to me cause it resulted in my tremendous denial and cognitive dissonance. Patients need to understand what's happing to them at all times.
thank you! 🥰 sad to hear you had a similar experience. I hope you're doing fine now! 💚
This was really excellent- your best video yet.
It really resonated with me and my own experience of being diagnosed a few years back after suffering multiple episodes of psychosis. It's a really difficult thing to come to terms with and something I can empathise with.
I too planned to do a PhD in a different field but this was brought to a halt. I think baby steps are what helped me and last year I managed to get back to work on a part-time basis. Although it's still early days it is achievable with the right support.
I also think a PhD might be suitable on a part-time basis with accommodations 🤔
oh wow thank you!! 🥹💚 I also hope to get back into some kind of part-time work some day. and I might need to look up if there is a possibility to study less than full-time... again thank you and have a nice week! 💚
@@KimberlyHallberg Yes, here in Scotland there are often options to do a PhD part-time over 6-8 years. A long time but it is something I've been looking into. Hopefully there could be the same option for you 🤔
Thanks, hope you have a good week as well.
@@scotchmist... oh how nice! I didnt even think that was a possibility! now I really must look it up! 😍
Hi Kimberly... I really understand your feelings. I have not really succeeded in any of the things I planned for my life YET, but I think sometimes things just turn out differently than we plan and not necessarily worse. Your are doing a great educational job with your videos and help many people, that is very successful and you will also achieve other things. You are very smart and articulate and doing much better than me... Hahaha! A big hug 😊💕
oh thank you! 💖 im sure there is something your succeeding in too, I think were just sometimes bad at seeing it ourselves, it easier to see when you look from the outside... sending you a big hug as well! 🥹💚
Thank you Kimberly 💕 yes you're right...I am sometimes too hard on myself because I don't function like 'normal' people... But still doing lots of things. Your videos are always inspiring...very much, and keep me going 😊
@@ariahathaway5517 thank you! I also struggle with comparing myself and thats ok, I hope you get a nice easter if you celebrate, if not I hope you get a nice week! 💖
Thanks Kimberly, yes I love Easter 😊... Happy Easter to you too! 💗
@@ariahathaway5517 thank you! 💖
Hi Kimberly! Thank you for being so brave and putting your story out there. I have bipolar II and am trying to learn about schizophrenia because a friend's son has it and I want to be able to support them.
thank you for watching! glad my video is helpful in some way! 🥰
Hi Kimberly, again Im so sorry you had to go through all that. Ive had some serious paranoia in the past and severe anxiety due to PTSD and not wanting to be outside or around others, which is called agoraphobia, as you mentioned. I'm so glad to see you doing your vlog's I think it might be very theraupeutic for you and you help others so much. I'm glad you are so honest about yourself, your anger and frustration. I can relate to the depression and wanting to feel better! Don't be hard on yourself please. You deserve all the help in the world, and all the others too who are striving and working hard to get better. You are very brave! Keep on keeping on my friend! Many hugs to you, and hope you have a good weekend and next week too! Hugs from Mary Ann 🤗💜💕💜
thank you Mary Ann! ❤️ sending you a big hug as well and hope you get a nice sunday! 🥹❤️
@@KimberlyHallberg 🌺🌻🌼🥀💜
You are truly amazing ❤️
thank you! 🥹❤
I love hearing you talk!
thank you! 🥰
That you’re able to feel the sadness is quite a “good” thing as at least you’re dealing with it. Sit with it and let it pass. Please don’t think you’re wasting tax-payers’ money. Leave that to politicians who don’t give a second thought about such things. Finally, are you able to get support to study/research? Someone to help with those things you find insurmountable. Those who have a disability should be supported in a civilised society. It’s at the root of equality.
great video kimberly!
thank you Robert! 💚
Thanks for sharing. Your videos are helpful. You are a very intelligent person.
thank you! glad you find my content useful! 💚
I'm sorry you got sad at the end of the video 😢 Try not to compare yourself to others 🖤
oh don't worry! thank you! 🥹❤️
Hey Kimberly! Another great video. I can so relate to the sad feelings and frustration as well. And I know it’s hard not to compare ourselves with others. ❤I wanted to mention there’s another person with schizophrenia making videos about it.. his name is Stephen. I can post a title if you want. He also is very open and honest. I hope you’re doing well. Thanks again! ❤
Hi Julia! thank you for watching and yes, I have seen some of his videos, they're also really informative! Have a nice day! 🥰❤
Thank you for sharing your story. Iam also from Sweden 💕
thank you for watching! 💚
Thank you for telling these things openly. I realized I haven't discussed with anyone with same diagnosis I have. I'm thinking if therapy would be helpful after a long period of not having breakdowns. I don't feel happy, so I'm trying to think what should I do. Thanks again!
hi and thank you for watching! I really enjoyed therapy, it helped me learn signs of relapse and helped me figure out how to build somewhat go a routine and its nice to have someone to discuss your emotions with... if you would like to talk with others who aslo have schizophrenia I can link you a forum? 😊 anyway again, thank you! 💚
@@KimberlyHallberg Is it international forum? Please share a link!
@@mizachs yes it is! forum.schizophrenia.com/
remember how many that loves you
Tack!
Tack för att du tittade och lämnade en super thanks! 🥰
Thank you so much for sharing your experience Kimberly. To be honest I think the insight you have on your mental illness and being able to talk about it so openly and making these videos is huge progress, I know people with Schizophrenia who would not be able to do this. I was also wondering if you have heard about Dr Chris Palmers work with using the Keto diet to treat Schizophrenia? and what your thoughts were about it? Could be a video idea 🙂
I'm not Kimberly, but I have tried Low Carb (not Keto though), but felt depressed. I'm really not sure how it effects my symptoms of psychosis, but generally I feel more stable on more carbs. Now I'm doing reduced carbs, but not in the low carb range. Seems to work ok.
Hi Erin! thank you for watching! 💚 funnily enough I have actually tried keto/low carb before for a few months and I did see some positive results! then I took a small break and now i'm on a low carb diet again but not too strict, I have a cheat meal from time to time with carbs 😂 I actually found some more videos about it and i'm really intrigued by the results some people with schizophrenia have had on low carbs diets. I might need to make a video on it like you said, but I might wait a little so I have more "data" or "results" to share 😊💚
@@KimberlyHallberg I found it really interesting too! It will be good to see the results once they do more research on it.
Thanks for sharing 😊
@@erinbeswick403 yes, I really look forward to seeing more studies on it! 😃
Thank you for sharing Kimberly. 🙂 I know from watching your previous videos that things weren't right with your Dad, and you were reluctant to share them on video. What came to my mind (although I'm not a health professional etc) is that perhaps your inner stability and security were shaken after seeing your Dad for the first time in two years. Could it be you locked the door on something, forgot about it only for those dots to be connected once again? I often find asking myself the why was I effected this way leads me to direct answers and when I ask myself what can I do to address this, again I am led to solutions.
Could the re-joining of dots then lead to fear and panic together with heightened senses. The problem with fear is it conjures up our imagination. It is our imagination that makes things feel real to us. For example I had a fight at a very young age. The blows weren't heavy, but through fear and my imagination running riot, I perceived them as heavy. It is the imagination coupled with the overwhelming state of fear that makes us perceive things as real. In the case of heightened senses we can blow the odd sound etc. out of proportion because our imagination is expecting x, y, z. This heightens our senses further as we now perceive we have evidence which strengthens our beliefs/worse nightmares. Fear and paranoia are in my opinion also closely linked...
Time being what it is, we return to a place of calm once again when our mind stops perceiving threats and our worse nightmares fail to materialise in real reality. This is still a shock to the system, and still perhaps unresolved trauma from the past that could be triggered once again. I think it's only natural to feel anger, sadness and depression when we feel we could have achieved so much, but for one reason or another we haven't. I think it's also only natural to be envious and also somewhat resentful when we perhaps see peers achieving while we're not. As I'm sure you can imagine there is a whole cocktail of emotions going on here. Understanding, reading and being consciously aware of what they all are and what they are in relation to can in itself be confusing. It's interesting you mentioned psychology Kimberly. Seems to me you have first hand knowledge on a whole host of afflictions with many depths and layers of understanding to boot. This king of knowledge and understanding in my opinion is NOT something a text book can teach. Depth of knowledge is to know thresholds of pain, is to be able to display real compassion, to know best approaches and to have all the answers to make that difference. Don't go selling yourself short, but instead believe in yourself and conquer. Hope this has been of some help. 🙂
oh wow thank you for writing all of this down! 🥰 and yes I do believe that meeting my dad opened a closed door to past trauma and it got to much and in combination with genetics and other factors I got sick.. and yes I have gotten very interested in psychology since I got sick, I think I wanted to know as much as possible so that I could learn how to live around my illness. thank you for sending me this comment, very interesting to read, thank you! ❤️
@@KimberlyHallberg Just to add Kimberly my psychosis manifested as I started to believe my thoughts were all pointing to something. It was this belief, coupled with my imagination and fear that drove me down a rabbit hole. From listening to other people's experiences there does seem to be these three elements that crop up as a pattern. My takeaway was learning to have foresight in recognising a decline in mental well-being with further direction of decline can be the difference to recognising the need for early intervention before things get really bad. It is my opinion that psychosis is not directly associated with afflictions like schizophrenia and through rational talking with someone's opinions and judgement we trust it is possible to snap out of it (for want of a better phrase). When the psychosis is linked to religion however many people might be reluctant to talk openly to those who can make that difference leading to a closed door where thoughts spiral out of control... As with any affliction there is a lot to be gleaned. If someone is able to conquer the psychological aspects of it, they have a wealth of knowledge and understanding which can be a huge benefit to those who struggle. This is the sort of first hand knowledge and depth of understanding on so many levels/layers all at the same time that in my opinion no one can glean from a text book. Also to add if someone is in a state of confusion/overwhelmed there is a need for reassurance. Someone in this state is very vulnerable and opinions especially from those we might not question will have a much greater impact and in extreme cases might make things much worse as new tangents of thinking are added to the already potent mix. It's important people know what they are doing and defuse rather than explode from a place of empathy and compassion and understanding of just where someone is in terms of a emotional state as they are going through these experiences... Hope this has been of some comfort and help. 🙂
Great videos
thank you! 😊
Also sounds like the stages of grief
Did you feel a split happening? Or a split approaching? And I'm feeling compassion about how it happened around meeting your dad.
No not really, I thought I was just getting depressed again.
I have experienced something similar too but now I am fine 🙏🙏🙏diagnosed bipolar 😢 how are you doing these days? Are you fine now?still on antipsychotics?🙂 Kim i looked for you in instagram but couldn't find
im doing fine now, just have some problems with energy and im still on antipsychotics 😊 my instagram is mrsearlgray 😊
Oh dear, I hope you feel more well rounded with your intuition soon seeing as you’re likely going through this from a place of modesty…perhaps try to argue your view more…❤😊
thank you! 💚
You have a lovely accent.
thank you! 🥹
Hello!
How do you manage the illness now, by just living alone!?
How big is the stigma now in Sweden!?
Is it enough for you now the support from the government!?
meds, regular contact with my therapist and nurse. 😊
as for the stigma, its kind of hard but its getting better with education 😊
do you live near stockholm
No I don't! 😊
Your videos seem to work, so maybe you shall look more into this opportunity (if you like)
I would love to, but so far its only a dream 😊
Let me buy you a few cups of tea. :)
haha thank you very much! have a nice day! 💖