Panic for sure. It feels like a small bomb is going off when it rings out of nowhere. My heart races and I immediately hit the silence button, never answering it. Voicemails are left for days until I listen to them. I will fret all day about making just one call. I can’t think of anything that has interfered more than this issue. Family misinterprets me not calling back as I’m mad at them or something is really wrong on my end.
I hate talking on the telephone! I find most times that I don't answer....screen my calls and only call back once I know what the person wants. I prefer text messaging. I can take my time with the text and give myself time to respond appropriately.
I can relate! Not being able to see the person I'm talking to really bothers me. I worry that I'll say something inappropriate which makes me panic which makes my mind go blank which makes me miss most of what the other person is saying! I've had terrible anxiety about phone calls throughout my whole life. My family used to get so angry at me about it because I wasn't diagnosed til I was an adult so they really didn't get why it was a big deal for me.
I'm sorry you also struggle with this. I've had a similar experience, hopefully your family can be more understanding now you have a diagnosis to explain your struggles.
i feel you...i always try to do everything via e-mail, luckily i don't have to do many phone calls but when I have to I always make myself some Notes(Script) what I want to say, how the person probably will answer and so, but when the conversation takes a turn off the script(which almost happens everytime) I go blank as well and can only respond with yes/no.
Same. I feel for you. Life long issue for me and until I was diagnosed it filled me with shame and I hid it from others. Never let on that making phone calls was an issue for me.
@@gj_o5477 Same... as you, including the scripts and when they veer off. I've gotten a bit perturbed that many businesses and the like force me to use the phone and don't have an option for me to contact them via email. When I can I explain that I have autism and communicating via email is preferable. This is particular true of my GP. I will put off getting an appointment for months as a result.
Scripts work when it's you making the call and you're not being asked questions that would require thought. I need more time to think when questions are posed over the phone because I feel pressured and go into panic mode and will make decisions that I later regard as stupid. I rarely have that experience when responding to face to face questions.
So glad it’s not just me 😂 Stress from my phone is so high for me that I keep all sounds off 24/7. I’m an emoji addict bc they work so much better than trying to understand chit chat, I’m really bad about reading tone into conversation. I go to a pain management dr once a month, first thing they ask is for me to rate my pain from 1-10 😳 and I always say my pain feels like this- 😵 or this 😒 or this 😠 etc. Emojis are the best! Thank you for sharing your feelings I feel like I actually belong here with my tribe 👍🏻✌🏻💙💙💙
Your video just gave me the extra boost I was desperate for. I just wrote an old fashioned letter to my grandma. Texting her is not an option as she doesn’t use a smartphone. I can’t get rid of my anxiety, leading to thinking of her every single day without be able to pick up the phone. So I just drop the guilt and took a pen instead. Thanks.
Autism and talking on the phone yep I hear you 😦💕 As someone on the Autism Spectrum, I strongly dislike speaking over the phone it makes me very uncomfortable 😣😕 Just because like you I wnjoy speaking face to face, not knowing how they feel or what expression is on their face that's what I don't like same here ❤💜
Before you have to deal with the phone conversation dont forget the pounding heart rate that got kicked up a gear or ten by said phones ring tone blaring out, making you jump out your skin!
I had to learn telephoning. It’s okay for me now. I’m very sensitive and can feel how the other person is feeling. But it’s difficult tho find out when to talk. But at work I still have to chance to learn how to communicate on the phone.Texting on a messenger or talking on a messenger is easier. Emoticons can be really helpful for me. And I like them, sometimes it’s challenging to interpret the the emoticon.
This is such a fantastic video, thank you! I have been trying to explain to myself and my friends and family why I hate the telephone so much and why it doesn’t have to do with how much I care. You also do a great job of explaining why this isn’t something we can necessarily fix. Well, I’ve always thought that texting with loads of emoticons is the fix so thank you so much for explaining why!
I just learned the winky face means the person is kidding 😅 thank you for this. Talking on the phone has always been a physical pain, which makes the guilt so strong with talking to people you love and can’t be with in person.
You are 100% spot on. I hate the phone since I interrupt, and hang up on people all the time. Thank you for this video and allowing me to know I'm not the only person with this problem
I often really struggle to organize my thoughts in text form though. (When responding to someone's question) so I've really come to enjoy recording voice memos in the text app (for an asynchronous conversation). And when there's a time constraint for deciding on something with a friend, I prefer to use the phone. My family all has the interruption issue, or we're used to it with each other, so no worries about that with them either. But phone calls with strangers for job things is all levels of terrible!!
I have no problems with phone, but text chatting can often be extremely stressful for me, because most people write short messages which makes me feel very uncomfortable because there is not enough information on how to interpret the messages. Therefore I prefer sending long e-mails. If someone have a compliant about me I prefer them to make a voice recording that I can listen to and digest in a couple of days and then we can talk more about it the following time we meet.
I totally relate to this! Even on FaceTime I tend not to make eye contact so for instance: occasionally I’ll be talking and responding to someone, and I think everything is going peachy but THEN when I look back at the screen the person is very clearly upset and I don’t understand 1.when that happened or 2.why
For me it's tonal but also for some reason information overload. Sitting on phone calls are so taxing for me once I get off the phone I have to lay down for hours. It feels like it takes me so much mental energy to stay in tune and wear this mask. Being careful of every single sentence and word and i'm so tired of crying about it. I just got off of an hour phone call and I just feel awful because I can't think.
I often can’t understand what someone is saying to me if I can’t see them. I have to concentrate really hard to try to and if there is any sound at all in the room I’m in or even movement, then I can’t focus enough. The same happens often when trying to talk to people face to face but in a very stimulating environment like a social gathering with music or several different conversations happening in the same room between different people. I used to think there was something wrong with my hearing but nothing ever showed up on hearing tests. Now I understand that it’s because my brain can’t filter out all the irrelevant stuff in order to focus just on the important things in a situation. I also never understood why the same sorts of situations would make me feel physically ill like I can feel the visual and auditory things around me in the pit of my stomach and feel like I wanted to cry but now I realise that is sensory overload. I hate phone calls but used to force myself to use them, mainly because I was very much taught that fear or something being tough is not an excuse to not do it. Then I developed intermittent muteness (I have been told my vocal chords get too weak to strike together to produce sound and have not really been given a solid reason why but it could be part of my EDS or M.E.) and was not able to use a phone for 3 years and now the combination of getting out of practice plus having to worry if I will be able to keep my voice loud enough for the person to hear my for the whole call, has raised my anxiety to a level where I avoid phone calls whenever humanly possible. I feel bad for it, especially as I’m supposed to be the strong one in my relationship and protect my partner when she suffers from anxiety about using phones too.
I’ve never looked people in the eyes, but my excuse was because Im deaf. Same with talking on the phone. I try to make sure I have it on loudspeaker. I always tell them if it’s ok if they talk via text. I so know what you mean!😳 I’ve missed so much because of this! Texting is my friend!😊
I love emoticons. I was excited to get an iPhone because it has really good emoticons and then I started using them in a group text a lot and everyone was like “why are you all of the sudden using emoticons?” I let it get to me and I stopped using them. I’m going to let myself use them how I want in the future now that I know why I prefer emoticons. I’m glad you brought that up. I have such a hard time with phone calls. I have a friend that prefers phone calls and it really bothers me.
Undiagnosed, but I relate to this so hard. Except for the emojis part. I mustered the courage to use the smiley face and the frowny face after a decade or so of being online, but I have no idea what any of the others mean.
Hehe Whenever someone made me use the phone when i was a lot younger, i would say no I couldn't do it, first, then they made me continue...but I knew i would struggle (I was only just diagnosed this year 2022) and I did throw the phone back to them because I got stuck and frustrated. I still hate making phone calls but I can do it if I need to, a little better... (like to companies about bills/enquries, for example, but I still hesitate to communicate and ask for help). I also have big gaps when talking to family or anyone like that. I sometimes tell people I prefer to chat through email or text and keep it brief.
Whenever it came to phoning up my car insurance with Tescos, it was always so hard work for me as they always put the phone down as they didn't believe I was the policy holder, as when I talk on the phone I get my words all mixed up, but now I have moved to a different insurance company, and I don't have to phone up at all and it's nice to take that weight off your mind. 😊
Omg.. You are just like me! 🙈🙊🐵 I wish more people were like us! 💖Our minds are actually pretty awesome! 😁Ever get overwhelmed from being around people too much in one day too and need alone time? Sometimes alone time is bliss too! 😊Awe, well you are doing excellent with all your videos!
Most autistic people I know don't like using the phone. As someone who was not diagnosed until late in life, this dread/fear filled me with shame when I was younger and I masked it. I could force myself to make business calls when necessary. Once, I had a job that required me to make cold calls. I lasted less than a year. Making those calls caused so much distress. When I was in a workplace, if I needed to talk with someone internally, I'd walk and talk to the person. Not only did this mean that I avoided using the phone, but it allowed me to use large muscles so that I could walk off the anxiety I felt being at work. Socially, I'd ask a partner to call people to make social arrangements or I'd make them when I was already together with them. I don't know if my partners (or friends) ever noticed that I never called anyone other than my mother once a week (fortunately, she didn't like to say much on the phone - it was just a check in). I lost a friend once over not calling when I moved - in the days before email - she was just so gutted by my lack of calls. I was masking, though, and couldn't admit to how uncomfortable the phone made me. As an autistic, in addition to the concerns expressed, I feel pressured to answer without giving something enough thought because of the silence and the sense it must be filled. Which is less an issue in real life. For example, I cancelled an NHS mammogram because I had a funeral to go to and it seemed that the alternative appointments were too far away. Had I had time to think I'd have gone ahead and made a far away appointment. I need to remember to ask if they can call me back... to give me time to think. I also don't like texting (like it for the problem mentioned though) because of the lack of human contact.
ALL OF THIS. And i often struggle to make out the words through the phone, it takes me time to process what they're saying, especially if im talking to older relatives with strong french and country accents are a challenge. So, i always say that i prefer to talk to them face to face, they like that we visit anyway so a win win, haha.
I identitfy completely with this. Voice phone is just about my least welcome thing with anyone, no matter how close. I am very terse on the phone and may resort to only yes/no answers. I do much better with video phone and sometimes enjoy that.
Phone calls are physically exhausting for me because of the expectations built into the call with the other person, I can’t define what exactly makes my energy drain but the whole concept is just exhausting. This is a huge problem in real life because I delay everything that is important continuously and therefore get into a lot of trouble.. I already got some serious trouble with government taxes because I couldn’t do the call and then forgot about it (short memory problems), I can only make calls in these moments where I feel good and confident and playful which are not many during the week, I usually get two to three moments like that, but I try to use them to make as many important calls I can. The crazy thing is those moments are so productive that sometimes they are sufficient to do all the things I need to do. However I’m not in control and it happens that these moments never come for weeks at a time and then making calls are just insanely stressful and I get completely disorganised and then it’s kind of a vicious circle… fuck my life lol
I'm interested that you like emoticons. I find beyond the basic ones they're quite difficult to interpret. If the platform supports it I tend to hover over them and see the text that was used to send the emoticon since it's easier to understand.
I read telephone and a cold shiver is running down my spine, I HATE IT AND I DONT WANT TO NONONOOO Email and text is always my way of choice, I am actually so scared of calling ppl that I am not able to do important things in daily life like makin dr assessments or calling ppl at work and its a huge thing I need to work on. It just takes sooo long to get things done because I have to have a really good day to be ready to call someone.
I also HATE it!! I can tolerate it only for practical, organizational purposes, like maximum 3 minutes at a time. But I stopped doing it altogether because people just don't understand (or don't care!) that when I say I can only speak 3 minutes I really mean it!! And they keep talking, and talking, and it makes me sooo anxious, overstimulated, and irritable!!! And then after a long call I feel exhausted, and confused, and I need a while before I can pick up again where I was before the phone call 😓. So now I refuse to accept phone calls altogether.
Phone calls are horrible for me. Any background noise makes it near impossible to understand the person on the other end, and even if I can understand I struggle to follow the conversation. I get overwhelmed very quickly when people ask questions, or ask me to relay information, I can't decipher heavy accents or if someone talks too fast I'll miss almost 90% of whatever they say. I'm also partially deaf, so I have to press the phone against my working ear super hard to hear what's said on the other end, and it ends up not just hurting my ear but my wrists too. Unless I have a script on me I can't make calls myself, I panic too much and go mute. It's really frustrating.
Hello. Love your vids. I am particularly interested in this aversion to the telephone one. I am near New York and my boyfriend is in Scotland. I believe he is on the spectrum. Although he used to talk on the phone he no longer does. it is the only issue we have. Perhaps you could do a vid on suggestions to help. I don't want a relationship of entirely texting. Keep up the good work!
See I’m the opposite I can’t stand texting, there’s no beginning or ending to a conversation and it’s difficult to tell much. I find written word also hard to process. I’m ok on the phone because I’m better with tone of voice, not so much reading it but I’m aware tone has changed. I can’t tell anything much about people other than tone.
My son 9 his autistic , he act like 4 , he doesn't like going to the toilet, he keeps having accident, he never serious .he can't have conversations. He likes reading , teaching us , watching videos , he like playing, I really appreciate an advice
here is the life hack for you if you have an iPhone and FaceTime account which is free to make you make it part of your iCloud account you can FaceTime people and actually see what they're saying it's up to you at the end of the year do whatever you feel comfortable with but I just thought it was a little bit of a suggestion I have autism myself and since I've got on my iPad I feel so much happier talking to people through my WebCam and if you don't have an iPad or iPhone if you have Facebook messenger you can also FaceTime on there and put face filters on it's completely up to you it's 2020 you can do whatever you want to do it's a free country you pay your taxes never change who you are you are very naturally beautiful and tell trolls where to go trolls are not welcome
Ciao Ella, I am taking so much information from your videos in order to interact with my toddlers. An interesting thing is that one of them finds really disturbing if I talk with people on the phone, still trying to figure out what it triggers... any clue anyone?
Luckily, phone hacking is a perfectly acceptable reason for not answering unsolicited/unknown numbers. Anyway, if the call is important, leave a message.
Ugh, the high pitched voice....what's worse is when you know the other person loves to shout into the microphone "oh my god!!!" After any peice of news."i ate bacon for breakfast""OH MY GOD!!! ME TOOO!!!!" I recognize the social need to be surprised when similarities occur, but does it have to be so loud? (rhetorical, i don't want it to be loud).
Texting is so much better. Phone calls fill me with anxiety.
I'm the exact same way. Plus, I panic whenever I receive a phone call without expecting one.
I literally do not answer the phone. I wait for the voicemail and then message back. Or not.
Same
I even avoid listening to voicemails because it might mean that I have to call someone.
Panic for sure. It feels like a small bomb is going off when it rings out of nowhere. My heart races and I immediately hit the silence button, never answering it. Voicemails are left for days until I listen to them. I will fret all day about making just one call. I can’t think of anything that has interfered more than this issue. Family misinterprets me not calling back as I’m mad at them or something is really wrong on my end.
I hate talking on the telephone! I find most times that I don't answer....screen my calls and only call back once I know what the person wants. I prefer text messaging. I can take my time with the text and give myself time to respond appropriately.
Undiagnosed, but everything I'm hearing and reading is eye-opening.
Glad I found this channel and you're doing what you're doing.
I can totally relate to this 😂😂 and if someone doesn't use emoticons I straightaway assume that they are upset with me 🙈🙈😂😂😂
I can relate! Not being able to see the person I'm talking to really bothers me. I worry that I'll say something inappropriate which makes me panic which makes my mind go blank which makes me miss most of what the other person is saying! I've had terrible anxiety about phone calls throughout my whole life. My family used to get so angry at me about it because I wasn't diagnosed til I was an adult so they really didn't get why it was a big deal for me.
I'm sorry you also struggle with this. I've had a similar experience, hopefully your family can be more understanding now you have a diagnosis to explain your struggles.
Mood.
i feel you...i always try to do everything via e-mail, luckily i don't have to do many phone calls but when I have to I always make myself some Notes(Script) what I want to say, how the person probably will answer and so, but when the conversation takes a turn off the script(which almost happens everytime) I go blank as well and can only respond with yes/no.
Same. I feel for you. Life long issue for me and until I was diagnosed it filled me with shame and I hid it from others. Never let on that making phone calls was an issue for me.
@@gj_o5477 Same... as you, including the scripts and when they veer off. I've gotten a bit perturbed that many businesses and the like force me to use the phone and don't have an option for me to contact them via email. When I can I explain that I have autism and communicating via email is preferable. This is particular true of my GP. I will put off getting an appointment for months as a result.
So much easy to talk on the phone if you already know what to say ( make phonecall) like a script.
I've concidered doing this..
Scripts work when it's you making the call and you're not being asked questions that would require thought. I need more time to think when questions are posed over the phone because I feel pressured and go into panic mode and will make decisions that I later regard as stupid. I rarely have that experience when responding to face to face questions.
I wasn't aware other people also felt like this!
If I'm asked for info on the phone I completely draw a blank! You are definitely not alone! Love your videos 😄
Thank you! It's always good to hear that other people get it when it comes to this stuff.
So glad it’s not just me 😂 Stress from my phone is so high for me that I keep all sounds off 24/7. I’m an emoji addict bc they work so much better than trying to understand chit chat, I’m really bad about reading tone into conversation. I go to a pain management dr once a month, first thing they ask is for me to rate my pain from 1-10 😳 and I always say my pain feels like this- 😵 or this 😒 or this 😠 etc. Emojis are the best! Thank you for sharing your feelings I feel like I actually belong here with my tribe 👍🏻✌🏻💙💙💙
Your video just gave me the extra boost I was desperate for. I just wrote an old fashioned letter to my grandma. Texting her is not an option as she doesn’t use a smartphone. I can’t get rid of my anxiety, leading to thinking of her every single day without be able to pick up the phone. So I just drop the guilt and took a pen instead. Thanks.
I am so glad a found this video! It explains my feelings about talking on the phone so well! Thank you
Autism and talking on the phone yep I hear you 😦💕 As someone on the Autism Spectrum, I strongly dislike speaking over the phone it makes me very uncomfortable 😣😕
Just because like you I wnjoy speaking face to face, not knowing how they feel or what expression is on their face that's what I don't like same here ❤💜
Before you have to deal with the phone conversation dont forget the pounding heart rate that got kicked up a gear or ten by said phones ring tone blaring out, making you jump out your skin!
I had to learn telephoning. It’s okay for me now. I’m very sensitive and can feel how the other person is feeling. But it’s difficult tho find out when to talk. But at work I still have to chance to learn how to communicate on the phone.Texting on a messenger or talking on a messenger is easier. Emoticons can be really helpful for me. And I like them, sometimes it’s challenging to interpret the the emoticon.
This is such a fantastic video, thank you! I have been trying to explain to myself and my friends and family why I hate the telephone so much and why it doesn’t have to do with how much I care. You also do a great job of explaining why this isn’t something we can necessarily fix. Well, I’ve always thought that texting with loads of emoticons is the fix so thank you so much for explaining why!
Another brilliant video Ella! I can so relate to this. I get so flustered and it really is, as you say, like a sort of blindness
I just learned the winky face means the person is kidding 😅 thank you for this. Talking on the phone has always been a physical pain, which makes the guilt so strong with talking to people you love and can’t be with in person.
You are 100% spot on. I hate the phone since I interrupt, and hang up on people all the time. Thank you for this video and allowing me to know I'm not the only person with this problem
Thank you for this! You have helped me feel not alone in this! Thank you!
Interupting is such a challenge!
The computer keyboard is a wonderful thing. Texting is a life saver.
I often really struggle to organize my thoughts in text form though. (When responding to someone's question) so I've really come to enjoy recording voice memos in the text app (for an asynchronous conversation).
And when there's a time constraint for deciding on something with a friend, I prefer to use the phone. My family all has the interruption issue, or we're used to it with each other, so no worries about that with them either.
But phone calls with strangers for job things is all levels of terrible!!
I only communicate by email. Thanks for this video.
I have no problems with phone, but text chatting can often be extremely stressful for me, because most people write short messages which makes me feel very uncomfortable because there is not enough information on how to interpret the messages. Therefore I prefer sending long e-mails. If someone have a compliant about me I prefer them to make a voice recording that I can listen to and digest in a couple of days and then we can talk more about it the following time we meet.
I totally relate to this! Even on FaceTime I tend not to make eye contact so for instance: occasionally I’ll be talking and responding to someone, and I think everything is going peachy but THEN when I look back at the screen the person is very clearly upset and I don’t understand 1.when that happened or 2.why
For me it's tonal but also for some reason information overload. Sitting on phone calls are so taxing for me once I get off the phone I have to lay down for hours. It feels like it takes me so much mental energy to stay in tune and wear this mask. Being careful of every single sentence and word and i'm so tired of crying about it. I just got off of an hour phone call and I just feel awful because I can't think.
All of your points for sure, plus the background noise! Makes it so hard to process what they’re saying.
I often can’t understand what someone is saying to me if I can’t see them. I have to concentrate really hard to try to and if there is any sound at all in the room I’m in or even movement, then I can’t focus enough. The same happens often when trying to talk to people face to face but in a very stimulating environment like a social gathering with music or several different conversations happening in the same room between different people. I used to think there was something wrong with my hearing but nothing ever showed up on hearing tests. Now I understand that it’s because my brain can’t filter out all the irrelevant stuff in order to focus just on the important things in a situation. I also never understood why the same sorts of situations would make me feel physically ill like I can feel the visual and auditory things around me in the pit of my stomach and feel like I wanted to cry but now I realise that is sensory overload.
I hate phone calls but used to force myself to use them, mainly because I was very much taught that fear or something being tough is not an excuse to not do it. Then I developed intermittent muteness (I have been told my vocal chords get too weak to strike together to produce sound and have not really been given a solid reason why but it could be part of my EDS or M.E.) and was not able to use a phone for 3 years and now the combination of getting out of practice plus having to worry if I will be able to keep my voice loud enough for the person to hear my for the whole call, has raised my anxiety to a level where I avoid phone calls whenever humanly possible. I feel bad for it, especially as I’m supposed to be the strong one in my relationship and protect my partner when she suffers from anxiety about using phones too.
Thanks for sharing. I completely relate. So. Fucking. Frustrating.
I’ve never looked people in the eyes, but my excuse was because Im deaf. Same with talking on the phone. I try to make sure I have it on loudspeaker. I always tell them if it’s ok if they talk via text. I so know what you mean!😳
I’ve missed so much because of this! Texting is my friend!😊
This is so interesting! Now I know why I hate talking on the phone!
I love emoticons. I was excited to get an iPhone because it has really good emoticons and then I started using them in a group text a lot and everyone was like “why are you all of the sudden using emoticons?” I let it get to me and I stopped using them. I’m going to let myself use them how I want in the future now that I know why I prefer emoticons. I’m glad you brought that up. I have such a hard time with phone calls. I have a friend that prefers phone calls and it really bothers me.
Undiagnosed, but I relate to this so hard. Except for the emojis part. I mustered the courage to use the smiley face and the frowny face after a decade or so of being online, but I have no idea what any of the others mean.
The only person that I can somewhat easily talk to on the phone is my mom. Not anyone else
For me it is my husband.
Hehe Whenever someone made me use the phone when i was a lot younger, i would say no I couldn't do it, first, then they made me continue...but I knew i would struggle (I was only just diagnosed this year 2022) and I did throw the phone back to them because I got stuck and frustrated. I still hate making phone calls but I can do it if I need to, a little better... (like to companies about bills/enquries, for example, but I still hesitate to communicate and ask for help).
I also have big gaps when talking to family or anyone like that. I sometimes tell people I prefer to chat through email or text and keep it brief.
Whenever it came to phoning up my car insurance with Tescos, it was always so hard work for me as they always put the phone down as they didn't believe I was the policy holder, as when I talk on the phone I get my words all mixed up, but now I have moved to a different insurance company, and I don't have to phone up at all and it's nice to take that weight off your mind. 😊
Omg.. You are just like me! 🙈🙊🐵 I wish more people were like us! 💖Our minds are actually pretty awesome! 😁Ever get overwhelmed from being around people too much in one day too and need alone time? Sometimes alone time is bliss too! 😊Awe, well you are doing excellent with all your videos!
Most autistic people I know don't like using the phone. As someone who was not diagnosed until late in life, this dread/fear filled me with shame when I was younger and I masked it. I could force myself to make business calls when necessary. Once, I had a job that required me to make cold calls. I lasted less than a year. Making those calls caused so much distress. When I was in a workplace, if I needed to talk with someone internally, I'd walk and talk to the person. Not only did this mean that I avoided using the phone, but it allowed me to use large muscles so that I could walk off the anxiety I felt being at work. Socially, I'd ask a partner to call people to make social arrangements or I'd make them when I was already together with them. I don't know if my partners (or friends) ever noticed that I never called anyone other than my mother once a week (fortunately, she didn't like to say much on the phone - it was just a check in). I lost a friend once over not calling when I moved - in the days before email - she was just so gutted by my lack of calls. I was masking, though, and couldn't admit to how uncomfortable the phone made me.
As an autistic, in addition to the concerns expressed, I feel pressured to answer without giving something enough thought because of the silence and the sense it must be filled. Which is less an issue in real life. For example, I cancelled an NHS mammogram because I had a funeral to go to and it seemed that the alternative appointments were too far away. Had I had time to think I'd have gone ahead and made a far away appointment. I need to remember to ask if they can call me back... to give me time to think. I also don't like texting (like it for the problem mentioned though) because of the lack of human contact.
ALL OF THIS. And i often struggle to make out the words through the phone, it takes me time to process what they're saying, especially if im talking to older relatives with strong french and country accents are a challenge. So, i always say that i prefer to talk to them face to face, they like that we visit anyway so a win win, haha.
Honestly i can't find enough to talk about for an long enough time to have a phone convo
I identitfy completely with this. Voice phone is just about my least welcome thing with anyone, no matter how close. I am very terse on the phone and may resort to only yes/no answers. I do much better with video phone and sometimes enjoy that.
Phone calls are physically exhausting for me because of the expectations built into the call with the other person, I can’t define what exactly makes my energy drain but the whole concept is just exhausting. This is a huge problem in real life because I delay everything that is important continuously and therefore get into a lot of trouble.. I already got some serious trouble with government taxes because I couldn’t do the call and then forgot about it (short memory problems), I can only make calls in these moments where I feel good and confident and playful which are not many during the week, I usually get two to three moments like that, but I try to use them to make as many important calls I can. The crazy thing is those moments are so productive that sometimes they are sufficient to do all the things I need to do. However I’m not in control and it happens that these moments never come for weeks at a time and then making calls are just insanely stressful and I get completely disorganised and then it’s kind of a vicious circle… fuck my life lol
Thank you
I have always had phone phobia. now I know it CAPD. the anxiety brings my comprehension down that much more.
I'm interested that you like emoticons. I find beyond the basic ones they're quite difficult to interpret. If the platform supports it I tend to hover over them and see the text that was used to send the emoticon since it's easier to understand.
I read telephone and a cold shiver is running down my spine, I HATE IT AND I DONT WANT TO NONONOOO
Email and text is always my way of choice, I am actually so scared of calling ppl that I am not able to do important things in daily life like makin dr assessments or calling ppl at work and its a huge thing I need to work on. It just takes sooo long to get things done because I have to have a really good day to be ready to call someone.
Phone calls are definitely my Kryptonite... Hardest thing in the world, gosh I hate people that still phone calls in 2020
I also HATE it!! I can tolerate it only for practical, organizational purposes, like maximum 3 minutes at a time. But I stopped doing it altogether because people just don't understand (or don't care!) that when I say I can only speak 3 minutes I really mean it!! And they keep talking, and talking, and it makes me sooo anxious, overstimulated, and irritable!!! And then after a long call I feel exhausted, and confused, and I need a while before I can pick up again where I was before the phone call 😓. So now I refuse to accept phone calls altogether.
Phone calls are horrible for me. Any background noise makes it near impossible to understand the person on the other end, and even if I can understand I struggle to follow the conversation. I get overwhelmed very quickly when people ask questions, or ask me to relay information, I can't decipher heavy accents or if someone talks too fast I'll miss almost 90% of whatever they say. I'm also partially deaf, so I have to press the phone against my working ear super hard to hear what's said on the other end, and it ends up not just hurting my ear but my wrists too. Unless I have a script on me I can't make calls myself, I panic too much and go mute. It's really frustrating.
Hello. Love your vids. I am particularly interested in this aversion to the telephone one. I am near New York and my boyfriend is in Scotland. I believe he is on the spectrum. Although he used to talk on the phone he no longer does. it is the only issue we have. Perhaps you could do a vid on suggestions to help. I don't want a relationship of entirely texting. Keep up the good work!
See I’m the opposite I can’t stand texting, there’s no beginning or ending to a conversation and it’s difficult to tell much. I find written word also hard to process.
I’m ok on the phone because I’m better with tone of voice, not so much reading it but I’m aware tone has changed.
I can’t tell anything much about people other than tone.
I hate talking on the phone. I'd much rather text or email, or even talk in person when possible.
I'm fine with both talking on the phone and Texting.
Texting was made for me🙃
Soooooo me. No clue when to stop talking or change subject. Texting is SO much easier!
My son 9 his autistic , he act like 4 , he doesn't like going to the toilet, he keeps having accident, he never serious .he can't have conversations. He likes reading , teaching us , watching videos , he like playing, I really appreciate an advice
I can easily misunderstand texts, as well :(
I am at my worst on the phone, I'm better in person. I am at my best with text.
*I suppose to type the word enjoy I just typed far too quick haha* 😂😅😊💖
No need for epic texts lol, today, oh boy, not phoning anyone again . No one calls me, ❤😂🎉 it's OK. I love my uniqueness of sorts, 😢
here is the life hack for you if you have an iPhone and FaceTime account which is free to make you make it part of your iCloud account you can FaceTime people and actually see what they're saying it's up to you at the end of the year do whatever you feel comfortable with but I just thought it was a little bit of a suggestion I have autism myself and since I've got on my iPad I feel so much happier talking to people through my WebCam and if you don't have an iPad or iPhone if you have Facebook messenger you can also FaceTime on there and put face filters on it's completely up to you it's 2020 you can do whatever you want to do it's a free country you pay your taxes never change who you are you are very naturally beautiful and tell trolls where to go trolls are not welcome
Ciao Ella, I am taking so much information from your videos in order to interact with my toddlers. An interesting thing is that one of them finds really disturbing if I talk with people on the phone, still trying to figure out what it triggers... any clue anyone?
I have to make a serious phone call which is why I found this video 😬
I avoid the phone because of my stammer not my Autism 😀
😁🤩🤩🤩😍😍😍
Luckily, phone hacking is a perfectly acceptable reason for not answering unsolicited/unknown numbers.
Anyway, if the call is important, leave a message.
Ugh, the high pitched voice....what's worse is when you know the other person loves to shout into the microphone "oh my god!!!" After any peice of news."i ate bacon for breakfast""OH MY GOD!!! ME TOOO!!!!" I recognize the social need to be surprised when similarities occur, but does it have to be so loud? (rhetorical, i don't want it to be loud).
Phone calls should be banned