I feel my emotions too strongly. I know this. People tell me I am making mountains out of molehills, I agree but it doesn't make me feel them any less. It is frustrating. I feel overwhelmed with feeling. Sometimes I feel so upset it is hard to speak or move.
I tend to experience emotions in the extremes. Sadness is total distraught, anger is blind rage, happiness is elation. I calm back down just as quickly as I was thrown into the emotion. It can be exhausting.
I can identify my emotions and I’ve always been really emotionally aware in knowing how others are feelings, talking about feelings, and what situations might have caused my emotions. I’ve never considered being on the spectrum because of this. Today in therapy my therapist my recommended me to consider being on the spectrum because a lot of the social problems I have difficulty with and how I can’t verbally express many things, and how I might actually mask when I don’t realize it because I put in a lot of effort to appear like everyone else around me. Then she told me I’ve never actually talked about how I feel in therapy. I was super confused because I thought I did all the time. She told me I describe what happens in a situation and don’t talk about how I really feel. I told her that the reason I don’t talk about how I feel is because there’s no need to because those emotions aren’t there when I’m retelling a situation or talking about it, I wouldn’t feel it again unless I’m reliving it or something and that’s not what happens in therapy. I also thought that talking about a situation and describing what’s going on IS talking about your feelings. I assume that if I’m describing a situation that made me frustrated for example emotions is the same thing as expressing them. Apparently it’s not? And this confused me. Why would I need to talk ABOUT the frustration? She also told me being really emotionally aware isn’t the same as knowing how to express emotions. It made sense when she kept refuting my arguments but now I still just don’t understand. Am I not expressing emotions??
Hearing you describe looking for "the problem" then obsessing over it, is like listening to myself. Your videos have been such a great help Ella. Thank you ♥️
I struggle many years I couldn’t understand why everybody told me that I couldn’t communicate without emotions. Past relationships told me they can't figure out what I feel because of lack of feelings. But inside they were killing me. Going into "longues" where they suppose to be calm place, but inside all I want run out of there. It was not fear, it was an overwhelming group of feelings. So, after a exhaustive research I finally could found a book that told me what feelings and emotions are and what type core attitudes are in word and actions. I feel overwhelmed with my emotions and feelings but after reading it, it helped me recognize them and what to do. Is like the face photos helping about what the feelings looks like when you see the person in front of you. But it was not easy, and exhausted, is like riding a bike without a guide. But after several years of practice, now I can give a place to almost all kinds of feelings and emotions. And always I carry the blueprint detailing about them. Book: "Attitude Reconstruction: A Blueprint for Building a Better Life", Jude Bijou, 2011
I'm Autistic and I really relate and understand what you are describing in this video. I appreciate you making the video. I get so worked up and catastrophize up to the point of panic attacks and not wanting to leave the house. I hope to use your video and others like it to get better. Thank you.
This is crazy! Exactly how I feel, but I thought it was normal and I was just weird for reacting more strongly than other people. When I feel something I just feel a “mess” inside my body thats totally overwhelming, and then I try to find a reason and based on what “makes sense” I label my emotions. But its weird, bc when I talk to people about it they never seem to understand. Also if I cant fix the problem I become unable to do anything but “feel”, no matter positive or negative. I cant sleep, i cant go to work, I cant think of anything besides what Im feeling and mostly I just lie in bed and feel like I cant move because my whole body is just overtaken by “the mess”. I didnt know this had a name, and that its also linked to autism! Thank you so much for this
That is the best way to describe how I get. Thank you, it's so hard to express myself, to find the words, even in my own head, never mind trying to explain to someone else. Everything gets turned around and I just sound stupid, if I even try to talk. More often than not, I can't pinpoint why I get emotional. Or even why I'm crying. It's overwhelming, just being in my own head.
Ive not been diagnosed with autism, and usually am able to identify what I am feeling or at least describe it in words. But it brought tears in my eyes to hear you talk about your experience because it is the ditto with me for how overwhelming my emotions are, how I look for a problem I need to fix and then loop back to telling all my friends just to get rid of the problem etc. Super hard relate!!!! Always felt so different in how i experience these things
This, another layer peeled away. I feel your feels, all of this collective. At the age of 63 and only recently self-diagnosed, I am better equipped to give my inner child the love and attention that she truly needs. We appreciate what you share for our understanding, my inner child and I. 🙏🏼🤗🤟
Yes this a very misunderstood topic, the feeling of total overwhelm personally I think is rarely experienced by the NT community. Because it doesn’t happen often to most people may one or two times etc. Where you literally can’t do anything but exist and attempt to process what happened. People don’t have that emotional awareness to relate to overwhelm an individual feels during a meltdown. Ironically the solution is we all talk about our personal emotional experience more. Everyone has a unique experience of these emotions and often I see arguments has the “same” emotion having subtlety different meanings for both parties. So people emotional speaking “talk over” each other because they did not take the time to clarify what they meant. Effectively to an extend we all misunderstand each other all of the time. But with overwhelm you can’t do anything about it at the moment but others can judge you for it without asking why.
Oh my gosh this is exactly how I experienced emotion too! Thank you for describing it because I haven't even been able to figure out how to describe it. But this is it. This is exactly what I do when I experience and try to figure out my emotions. Thank you!
Omg. This is exactly my experience. I didn’t realise this was a thing. This is so helpful. Thank you. A number of friends and family have said it might be autism, but coming to this late in life. Especially experiencing them first in the gut and then it suddenly getting to much, and the need to fix externals that ‘must’ be the emotional/feeling cause! 😲
this is why i say i'm a very practical "feeler" - if i can understand a feeling it subsides so i try to find the source. that makes sense to meeeee. it is quite tiring tho. thanks ella, thanks for being !
Hi Ella. My special interest is currently autism as I've been told recently that I'm probably wired this way and am awaiting an assessment. I've found a lot of your videos really insightful and helpful as I go through this period of picking apart every possible corner of my psyche. This video was particularly helpful because it puts into words exactly what I do and it was one of those lightbulb moments. There's been a lot of those lately, but this was one too.
I'm 68 years old. Not diagnosed autistic. Learning DBT aggravates me quite a lot and I find the knowledge helpful in recognizing components to otherwise monolithic obstacles. DBT helps me identify emotion and tolerate experience. And, I pray. I imagine Jesus with Mary. Makes me smile. Peaceful day to you, Purple Ella.
interesting comment"dog with a bone". sooo familiar.... like your calming approach,like shrugging the shoulders and waiting it out-but when it's your life.........
*Fixed on a problem* oh My,!I can relate. most people tell me to *move on* (Which I wish I could most of the time :( ) Unfortunately *let it go*!or *move on* sometimes make things worse. It’s like when I ask someone for help & they tell me what I did wrong instead of helping me do the task correctly. I’m still growing🌱💛 Thank you for this Topic.
I get that! 😅 I get worried when people don't use emojis because my paranoid tendencies tend to drive me to "they're mad aren't they"😬😬😶 not all people are willing to adjust for my sake I get that 😅😔
I appreciate your content so much. You and so many other creators have helped me understand how my own brain works- like, to a life-changing degree. Thank you
I just found out about my autism so I’m doing research and finding out so much about myself that I thought was totally weird and made me a freak I legit would tell not a soul and keep it too myself cuz afraid of being told I’m stupid. This video and my other research has really helped me identify what is ok- That it’s ok because this is something I cannot control. My problem is that what if there is a problem and I’m not facing it and then it gets bigger and bigger. Thank you for this video.
welcome to the beautiful world of autistic support & kindness. i hope you can find softer loving language for yourself other than 'freak' & 'stupid' - because you deserve kindness - every part of you - every experience. you are not alone & we get it. :) good luck on your journey !
Wait, so this isn’t just me 😂 if I can’t find a reason for this feeling I proper freak out and I will not stop until I find a fixable reason for the feeling to make it go away
Thank you, not sure if I am or not autistic... buuut I feel emotions that strong, I'm soo escited sometimes that I feel like my chest will literally explode, I love and hate the feeling because I not always can do something about it, and usually get really sad if I don't do anything about it... I just really fuck up sometimes because of it too... I just can't hold my excitment and it kinda scares people away... I used to think that I ws just childish but now... I know that I am a mature person... but those feelings.... I just need to learn how to deal with on my own... and listening to you talk about it made me feel less alone.. soo thanks
Thanks for sharing this ! :) this describes me well' angry and nervous and anxiety it's the big and awkward but not people seen bc I am not showing I am friendly to humans when are positive like talk to humans I have too people and they have different broplems but we talk it's good enough. Ps . Hope have a good day!😊✨
This is spot on with how I feel I have asd and I have just started a relationship and I have a difficult time trying to figure out the emotion I am having that's making me feel down I still don't no and I just out of it. I am very emotional when comes to relationships I don't have a thing called walls to help me from getting hurt I just tend to be all in with emotions and I have a hard time in relationships because of I don't no my emotions and I can't figure out wat they are feeling. So it makes me very emotional but I don't no why and how to stop it I feel like I am going to wreck the relationship and I really like her she's everything I want in a girl. So I surfing RUclips trying to find a method that I can use to help me so my emotions don't make her feel bad. If all that makes sense
Hi Purple Ella, thanks for your video it really helped me. I used alcohol to cope with my emotions, you can imagine how that went? I ended up in AA, but I don't like to be tabled as an alcoholic so I'm trying to learn other ways to deal with my emotions and not be labled as a drag on society
My experience is that I experience many emotions at once. If I observe them mindfully, I can usually name all of them. I consider them all to be valid (generally speaking, sometimes an exception if I have really misunderstood or am too reactive, etc.). Sometimes they are considered contradictory emotions. It is possible to genuninely both love and hate someone, particularly if they were associated with trauma. Even though I can name my multiple emotions, I very often cannot communicate them to others in ways that are believed. My emotional awareness and processing do not make sense to neurotypical people, so they will say I do not know my own mind or heart or can't decide what I feel. But I do consider this RICHNESS, and if NTs generally experience only one emotion at a time, I would not trade.
i can relate, when you add people into my environment my stress levels go upp upp uppp, & my reactions get bigger & more difficult to mask. i can be less efficient, less kind, more stumbly, more confused...the nervous system reacts strongly. i am not one who attacks tho i will walk away very quickly or start crying, etc.
I feel my emotions too strongly. I know this. People tell me I am making mountains out of molehills, I agree but it doesn't make me feel them any less. It is frustrating. I feel overwhelmed with feeling. Sometimes I feel so upset it is hard to speak or move.
SAME.
I tend to experience emotions in the extremes. Sadness is total distraught, anger is blind rage, happiness is elation. I calm back down just as quickly as I was thrown into the emotion. It can be exhausting.
I can identify my emotions and I’ve always been really emotionally aware in knowing how others are feelings, talking about feelings, and what situations might have caused my emotions. I’ve never considered being on the spectrum because of this. Today in therapy my therapist my recommended me to consider being on the spectrum because a lot of the social problems I have difficulty with and how I can’t verbally express many things, and how I might actually mask when I don’t realize it because I put in a lot of effort to appear like everyone else around me. Then she told me I’ve never actually talked about how I feel in therapy. I was super confused because I thought I did all the time. She told me I describe what happens in a situation and don’t talk about how I really feel. I told her that the reason I don’t talk about how I feel is because there’s no need to because those emotions aren’t there when I’m retelling a situation or talking about it, I wouldn’t feel it again unless I’m reliving it or something and that’s not what happens in therapy. I also thought that talking about a situation and describing what’s going on IS talking about your feelings. I assume that if I’m describing a situation that made me frustrated for example emotions is the same thing as expressing them. Apparently it’s not? And this confused me. Why would I need to talk ABOUT the frustration? She also told me being really emotionally aware isn’t the same as knowing how to express emotions. It made sense when she kept refuting my arguments but now I still just don’t understand. Am I not expressing emotions??
Hearing you describe looking for "the problem" then obsessing over it, is like listening to myself.
Your videos have been such a great help Ella. Thank you ♥️
I struggle many years I couldn’t understand why everybody told me that I couldn’t communicate without emotions. Past relationships told me they can't figure out what I feel because of lack of feelings. But inside they were killing me. Going into "longues" where they suppose to be calm place, but inside all I want run out of there. It was not fear, it was an overwhelming group of feelings. So, after a exhaustive research I finally could found a book that told me what feelings and emotions are and what type core attitudes are in word and actions. I feel overwhelmed with my emotions and feelings but after reading it, it helped me recognize them and what to do. Is like the face photos helping about what the feelings looks like when you see the person in front of you. But it was not easy, and exhausted, is like riding a bike without a guide. But after several years of practice, now I can give a place to almost all kinds of feelings and emotions. And always I carry the blueprint detailing about them.
Book: "Attitude Reconstruction: A Blueprint for Building a Better Life", Jude Bijou, 2011
I'm Autistic and I really relate and understand what you are describing in this video. I appreciate you making the video. I get so worked up and catastrophize up to the point of panic attacks and not wanting to leave the house. I hope to use your video and others like it to get better. Thank you.
This is crazy! Exactly how I feel, but I thought it was normal and I was just weird for reacting more strongly than other people. When I feel something I just feel a “mess” inside my body thats totally overwhelming, and then I try to find a reason and based on what “makes sense” I label my emotions. But its weird, bc when I talk to people about it they never seem to understand. Also if I cant fix the problem I become unable to do anything but “feel”, no matter positive or negative. I cant sleep, i cant go to work, I cant think of anything besides what Im feeling and mostly I just lie in bed and feel like I cant move because my whole body is just overtaken by “the mess”. I didnt know this had a name, and that its also linked to autism! Thank you so much for this
I get so upset sometimes I start feeling frozen and it is hard to talk or move.
@@Catlily5 me too. I used to wonder if it was some sort of catatonia!
@@kathryncollins8708 Me too but I had only heard of longer lasting catatonia with schizophrenia. So I was confused.
That is the best way to describe how I get. Thank you, it's so hard to express myself, to find the words, even in my own head, never mind trying to explain to someone else. Everything gets turned around and I just sound stupid, if I even try to talk. More often than not, I can't pinpoint why I get emotional. Or even why I'm crying. It's overwhelming, just being in my own head.
Ive not been diagnosed with autism, and usually am able to identify what I am feeling or at least describe it in words. But it brought tears in my eyes to hear you talk about your experience because it is the ditto with me for how overwhelming my emotions are, how I look for a problem I need to fix and then loop back to telling all my friends just to get rid of the problem etc. Super hard relate!!!! Always felt so different in how i experience these things
This, another layer peeled away. I feel your feels, all of this collective. At the age of 63 and only recently self-diagnosed, I am better equipped to give my inner child the love and attention that she truly needs.
We appreciate what you share for our understanding, my inner child and I.
🙏🏼🤗🤟
You just described how I’ve felt my entire life. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me.
Also takes me forever for the emotions to come to the surface for me
Yes this a very misunderstood topic, the feeling of total overwhelm personally I think is rarely experienced by the NT community. Because it doesn’t happen often to most people may one or two times etc. Where you literally can’t do anything but exist and attempt to process what happened. People don’t have that emotional awareness to relate to overwhelm an individual feels during a meltdown. Ironically the solution is we all talk about our personal emotional experience more. Everyone has a unique experience of these emotions and often I see arguments has the “same” emotion having subtlety different meanings for both parties. So people emotional speaking “talk over” each other because they did not take the time to clarify what they meant. Effectively to an extend we all misunderstand each other all of the time. But with overwhelm you can’t do anything about it at the moment but others can judge you for it without asking why.
learning to live with judgement... our own is the biggie. peace in.
Omg!! This is me! I have been trying to explain exactly this to my therapist. Thank you so much for showing me I'm not alone!
You hit the nail on the head there about over stimulation. Thank you. I just feel my professionals don't understand me or help me enough 😢
This is how I feel and no one has ever understood what I was saying.
Oh my gosh this is exactly how I experienced emotion too! Thank you for describing it because I haven't even been able to figure out how to describe it. But this is it. This is exactly what I do when I experience and try to figure out my emotions. Thank you!
You're so cute! I viewed you video as a topic for discussion in my Language and Emotion class. Thank you for sharing this information!
I don't have a diagnosis but I'm waiting to see a specialist about autism, I can relate to so many of your videos, especially this one
Omg. This is exactly my experience. I didn’t realise this was a thing. This is so helpful. Thank you.
A number of friends and family have said it might be autism, but coming to this late in life. Especially experiencing them first in the gut and then it suddenly getting to much, and the need to fix externals that ‘must’ be the emotional/feeling cause! 😲
Found your video while trying to understand my son (and other family members) Thanks for sharing x
this is why i say i'm a very practical "feeler" - if i can understand a feeling it subsides so i try to find the source. that makes sense to meeeee. it is quite tiring tho. thanks ella, thanks for being !
Hi Ella. My special interest is currently autism as I've been told recently that I'm probably wired this way and am awaiting an assessment. I've found a lot of your videos really insightful and helpful as I go through this period of picking apart every possible corner of my psyche. This video was particularly helpful because it puts into words exactly what I do and it was one of those lightbulb moments. There's been a lot of those lately, but this was one too.
I'm 68 years old. Not diagnosed autistic. Learning DBT aggravates me quite a lot and I find the knowledge helpful in recognizing components to otherwise monolithic obstacles. DBT helps me identify emotion and tolerate experience. And, I pray. I imagine Jesus with Mary. Makes me smile. Peaceful day to you, Purple Ella.
DBT helped me a lot also.
interesting comment"dog with a bone". sooo familiar.... like your calming approach,like shrugging the shoulders and waiting it out-but when it's your life.........
*Fixed on a problem* oh My,!I can relate. most people tell me to *move on* (Which I wish I could most of the time :( ) Unfortunately *let it go*!or *move on* sometimes make things worse. It’s like when I ask someone for help & they tell me what I did wrong instead of helping me do the task correctly. I’m still growing🌱💛 Thank you for this Topic.
I have found that using emojis helps me identify my emotions. 🙂
I get that! 😅 I get worried when people don't use emojis because my paranoid tendencies tend to drive me to "they're mad aren't they"😬😬😶 not all people are willing to adjust for my sake I get that 😅😔
😁
@@L0rdOfThePies I rarely use emoji because I am crap at putting forth intention with them and end upsetting people.
I appreciate your content so much. You and so many other creators have helped me understand how my own brain works- like, to a life-changing degree. Thank you
This is blowing my mind right now ♡ thank you so much for making these videos and doing what you do ♡♡
I just found out about my autism so I’m doing research and finding out so much about myself that I thought was totally weird and made me a freak I legit would tell not a soul and keep it too myself cuz afraid of being told I’m stupid. This video and my other research has really helped me identify what is ok- That it’s ok because this is something I cannot control. My problem is that what if there is a problem and I’m not facing it and then it gets bigger and bigger. Thank you for this video.
welcome to the beautiful world of autistic support & kindness. i hope you can find softer loving language for yourself other than 'freak' & 'stupid' - because you deserve kindness - every part of you - every experience. you are not alone & we get it. :) good luck on your journey !
Wait, so this isn’t just me 😂 if I can’t find a reason for this feeling I proper freak out and I will not stop until I find a fixable reason for the feeling to make it go away
And people tell me I am making mountains out of molehills but I can't help it.
Thank you, not sure if I am or not autistic... buuut I feel emotions that strong, I'm soo escited sometimes that I feel like my chest will literally explode, I love and hate the feeling because I not always can do something about it, and usually get really sad if I don't do anything about it... I just really fuck up sometimes because of it too... I just can't hold my excitment and it kinda scares people away... I used to think that I ws just childish but now... I know that I am a mature person... but those feelings.... I just need to learn how to deal with on my own... and listening to you talk about it made me feel less alone.. soo thanks
I can relate so much, thank you for expressing this :)
Thank you.🙏
the project which i am doing now teachs me to a lot of things, thank you Ella
This is so helpful and explains how I am feeling right now. It is amazing to hear someone else explain my experience. Very validating. Thank you ❤️
Thanks for sharing this ! :) this describes me well' angry and nervous and anxiety it's the big and awkward but not people seen bc I am not showing I am friendly to humans when are positive like talk to humans I have too people and they have different broplems but we talk it's good enough.
Ps . Hope have a good day!😊✨
This is spot on with how I feel I have asd and I have just started a relationship and I have a difficult time trying to figure out the emotion I am having that's making me feel down I still don't no and I just out of it. I am very emotional when comes to relationships I don't have a thing called walls to help me from getting hurt I just tend to be all in with emotions and I have a hard time in relationships because of I don't no my emotions and I can't figure out wat they are feeling. So it makes me very emotional but I don't no why and how to stop it I feel like I am going to wreck the relationship and I really like her she's everything I want in a girl. So I surfing RUclips trying to find a method that I can use to help me so my emotions don't make her feel bad. If all that makes sense
You just described me. To exactness.
Really insightful thank you
Wow! This is exactly what happens to me! I went in the mental hospital two years ago because I kept having this type of meltdown and became suicidal.
This really helped articulate to myself and my boyfriend how I am coping with emotions. Thank you so much it is such a big relief.
Very helpful. Literally just described me.
Thank you for sharing this perspective. Very helpful information!
Hi Ella, a big thank you for this video. It helps us so much to understand what our daughter might be experiencing. All the best.
Thank you Ella. ❤️
I couldve made that video myself! On point!
Hi Purple Ella, thanks for your video it really helped me. I used alcohol to cope with my emotions, you can imagine how that went? I ended up in AA, but I don't like to be tabled as an alcoholic so I'm trying to learn other ways to deal with my emotions and not be labled as a drag on society
My experience is that I experience many emotions at once. If I observe them mindfully, I can usually name all of them. I consider them all to be valid (generally speaking, sometimes an exception if I have really misunderstood or am too reactive, etc.). Sometimes they are considered contradictory emotions. It is possible to genuninely both love and hate someone, particularly if they were associated with trauma. Even though I can name my multiple emotions, I very often cannot communicate them to others in ways that are believed. My emotional awareness and processing do not make sense to neurotypical people, so they will say I do not know my own mind or heart or can't decide what I feel. But I do consider this RICHNESS, and if NTs generally experience only one emotion at a time, I would not trade.
Thanks for putting this into words! ♥
Thank you
Can so relate to this, thank you Ella :-)
So how do I stop this 😂✨
I find it hard because of my Autism & as I’m visually impaired too 😀
I'm the same i have partial sight aspergers and dyspraxia. My draughter is nearly for and is similar to me. I find it hard thanks purple ella
Well done. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for commenting. It's always good to hear that my videos are useful :-)
Very useful.
Your videos are superb
I'm an aspie, and any emotions to do with anger will make me attack something when around people but alone I don't even react in such extreme ways
i can relate, when you add people into my environment my stress levels go upp upp uppp, & my reactions get bigger & more difficult to mask. i can be less efficient, less kind, more stumbly, more confused...the nervous system reacts strongly. i am not one who attacks tho i will walk away very quickly or start crying, etc.
Very useful
omg you described my brain
I've been doing this my whole life.
I wish I could focus on other stuff in my life...
anybody visualise their emotions in their mind?
Yeah, kinda. I feel like I can visualize how I feel about a bunch of things, like how a certain season or period of time in my life feels to me.
Me watching autism videos all day everyday for 3 weeks because I have very strong emotions about maybe being autistic 👁️👄👁️
Hi
I love autistics 😊 they are so.... Huggable I guess? 😂 idk you guys are just bubbly and I love it haha
Jake Lerms not most of us...
That bubblinrss is just her individually, nothing to do with autism. :)
Most of us would be quite bothered if hugged.
@@emilyholland4791 Yeah I don’t like hugs unless I’m giving them
Hmmm 🤔
youre trying your best. but you are readiding from a script. but you are explations , is how i try to fit in