Story 2: Even if wife is having mental health issues, OP is NTA for divorcing her. There’s no guarantee she will continue to take her medication. She could easily slip back into the behavior. He needs to protect himself and his child.
Yep, it’s like an abusive alcoholic who is now sober - that doesn’t undo the abuse and what if they slip again? I also don’t think post partum depression excuses her violent behavior
Not just that, even if she stays on her medication that doesn’t magically get rid of all the abuse she put him through. Mental health may be a reason that she acted like that, but it is NOT an excuse and OP did all he could to help her.
Especially when she hid it from everyone. On some level she was aware of how she was acting. It sounds more like she baby trapped him. Abusers like to wait until their spouse has a kid before letting the mask slip because they know it's harder to leave and the victim is attached to them at that point.
@@mjjoe76 And anyway, what is he doing over there when his GF isn't home to begin with? With all the info we know, I'm just going to say it: guy's a creep.
I honestly thought at first it said her boyfriend called her mommy and I giggled but when I reread it and it said roommates bf I was like what the heck?
Story 2: I've been in the wife's shoes. Sometimes first time pregnancies can cause a sort of psychosis that can last months and sometimes years after baby is born. One of the symptoms is extreme violent mood swings. I developed it when I was pregnant but I got help the first time it was brought to my attention. OPs wife should have listened to him and gotten help when he asked. It's not her fault she developed this but it's her responsibility to fix it. OP has every right to divorce her for not getting help sooner and being so abusive to him.
Yup yup. If you genuinely love and respect the people around you, you listen when they ask you to get help or tell you you're scaring them. Edited for spelling
That's true, but OP is right in getting him and his kid away from an abuser. Even if the abuse had a medical reason. There's no guarantee she stays on her meds or won't retaliate in the future. I could never feel safe around her again.
Each day, the cat tree creeps closer. By the end, there will only be a cat tree in view. Vince will eventually be in the back reading us Reddit stories. 😂
Story 2: I have learned in nursing about modd changes and post partum depression and they're very real and uncontrollable. That being said, they do not excuse physical or emotional abuse. There might be issues and problems that come but if she is not able to get help and improve then you're not the a-hole. You gave her a chance and she took it too late.
Story 6. Dealt with coworkers like that for ten years back in the early 2000’s. Those people prey upon the childless for time off at their expense never to return the favour. Everyone’s got a family and friends whom are just as important as their little goblins.
Story 6: No idea what OP does, but they really need to follow the model where you get Thanksgiving or Christmas. This guarantees kids get to see their parents during one of the big family holidays and everyone else can see their families, if they want to.
She smashed a pot of hot coffee over him while he was changing the baby. Can you imagine what she might do to the baby if she's left alone with him and she gets tired of him crying? Even if she's getting medicated now she's only just started that and she doesn't want to change. What's stopping her from just going off her meds when she gets what she wants.
Story 2: Absolutely NTA. This does not sound like ordinary mental health issues. It sounds like maybe anti-social personality disorder; like a sociopath who attempted to baby-trap him. The fact that she can just "switch off" the abuse and go back to "normal" enough around other people to convince them she is the victim... yikes. She's a danger to him and the baby for certain. Edit: I would add, this thing she's doing where she's saying "well I went to therapy, I'm on meds, I'm better now, so you should come back" is also a trick performed by people with APD. When her abuse turned toward her parents and they threatened to kick her out, she realized she was losing control of the people around her. If she were a normal person with empathy, she would understand the consequence of her abuse and accept it. "I hit this person so egregiously that they needed stitches, it's entirely understandable that they can't trust me anymore" would be the response of any reasonable person. She would not be telling people to bother OP by suggesting they get back together. The therapy and meds could just be a vehicle for regaining control.
I was giving her the BOD that she's emotionally distraught about the divorce and that's why she's still me me meing rather than accepting the consequences (not that that's an excuse, and nor should OP stay with her) but I think you may be on to something. But you'd think she wouldn't have abused her parents, right? Wouldn't she be able to controll herself or realize to keep her story up she has to behave around them? I do agree at the end of the day her behavior was manipulative and calculating, which definitely isn't normal.
Story 6. Don't explain yourself. Also, it's an expectation because they can not legally discriminate against childless people and make, only, them work every holiday. So, they choose peer pressure.
Story 1: NTA. Even if his wife is finally getting the help she needs and goes back to the sweet woman she apparently was before, that doesn’t remove the trauma OP suffered. Also, as one of the comments on the post pointed out, she could control herself when others were around but let go when they were alone. Story 2: OP should agree with sister that she’s too irresponsible to babysit and tell everyone giving her a hard time for refusing to babysit that she’ll pass on their offer to babysit to sister. Story 3: OP needs to point out she has a mother who would like to see her child on holidays.
Story 3: There's a term for people like OP's sister, and that term is "self-sabotaging idiot." The nerve of her to call OP self-centered. And I said this yesterday on another story, but yeah, OP doesn't know what it's like to be a parent. Because OP isn't a parent. So they don't have the responsibility of taking care of a child. Funny how that works, isn't it? The sister bit off her own nose to spite her face, and now instead of SOME help she gets none. And that's 100% fair. Don't be a [meow] to people you expect to help you.
the thing about story two that makes me so frustrated is that i KNOW if their genders were swapped, NO ONE would be calling the wife a “monster” for trying to leave him.
@@nohaybando9586I'm not sure what the alpha male content has to do with this as this is a real issue. This is not something that a man only believes, woman also believe that men can be abused and nobody will bat an eye unless the roles were switched...
My boyfriend thought Vincey was one of those AI voices till I started playing the most recent videos with face came and he was like “he’s a real guy!?” And I’m like yes of course he’s a real guy? Lmao
Story 2- she's calling you an asshole for not taking her back... Her calling you an asshole is proof the therapy isn't working. Also, I heard about someone's wife going crazy like this when pregnant, and it turned out it was her diet, she had started a new diet that was missing B12 or something like that. As soon as they changed her diet she went back to normal.
100%. She's using going to therapy as a get out of jail free card. If she really regretted what she'd done she wouldn't be taking this tack of calling OP and AH for his completely sensible reaction, she would be trying to make things right as best she could.
Post 6: at my mom’s old job she had to work Thanksgiving every year, so we celebrated either the day before or the day after. Also in my opinion: if June wants Thanksgiving off then she should give up having Christmas off to OP, that way it’s a fair trade.
Story 4: Absolutely agree about having her towed. This neighbor is a user and a taker. If she wanted a driveway, hey, maybe she should have chosen to live in a place with a driveway. I know it's hard to wrap a person's head around, but making decisions based on what we want is the way to get what we want. 😲
Story 2: NTA Kinda telling that she could control herself around witnesses during her pregnancy. Maybe she also has PPD, but that doesn't seem to be the only thing going on.
To me, it just sounds like she had an excuse to act "however she wanted," while pregnant, and she took it. Then, those behaviors kept escalating as she was faced with no consequences. Otherwise, how would she turn it on and off like a switch?
Story 1: I've never been pregnant, but i have had scary emotional side effects from a medication change. But instead of letting the sudden unexplainable rage make me hurt other people, I told my family and friends what was happening and asked for help. I didnt want to hurt anyone, despite the scary urges. Unless you are having psychotic episodes you truly cannot control, ypu are in charge of what you do with your emotions. Full stop.
Story 6: It seems to happen a lot in USA where parents think childless/childfree people should cover holidays as if they don't have partners, parents, siblings, etc, that they want to see too. My husband works in a kitchen on a homeless shelter along with two women. They have children but we don't. There's three holidays here in Denmark at the end of the year. Morten's evening, Christmas and New Year. Everyone always agree that they take a day each. I've asked my husband to cover Christmas the last two years and he will again this year because we don't care about celebrating Christmas so that made sense. The parents cover the other two.
That's the way it should be, working together to figure something out. Not, "I have kids so I'm more important." That kind of parent really makes the whole having kids thing look something less than attractive.
Post 2: this wife is completely insane. are you sure it's just "pregnancy hormones" and "post-partum depression" and that she isn't just a violent abuser? OP, get out of this marriage while you can. this woman has physically and emotionally assaulted you enough. serve her those divorce papers and get away before she takes things further than smashing a coffee cup over your head. and the family members saying YOU'RE the one tearing apart the family? please. sorry isn't good enough when you hurt somebody, and your wife has hurt you enough. needless to say, NTA.
Story 6: Get out of here with that crap. Having kids doesn't make your life of more importance than other people, and if you want to be able to spend holidays with them, you should consider what's more important -- them, or this specific job. Nobody twisted June's tit and made her take this job. It's a load of bull to act like not having kids means seeing your family is somehow less relevant. It's nobody else's responsibility that you chose to have children. You don't get to count on other people just rearranging their whole lives to accommodate your choice to bring kids into the world. I bet if OP had an emergency, June would NEVER agree to work from them. Because this kind of attitude is almost always a one-way street. These people are like Cookie Monster, but instead of cookies it's holidays, or plane seats, or whatever. "I get all the holidays and you don't get any. Nomnomnomnomnom."
In industries that require coverage 365 days per year (in the USA), no one should have to work both Thanksgiving and Christmas unless they volunteer. No one should be forced.
Hey Vincey! I got a new kitten. He doesn't currently have a name, but I've been referring to him as the cat with many names. AKA: Vincey Von Chai Le Cookie Dough Coconut Cocoa Butter. He's a Siamese and he's only about 7 weeks old as of typing this. :) I wish I could show you pictures of him because he's soooo cute!
Story 2: If the genders were reversed and it was the husband who verbally, physically and mentally abused his wife, not a single soul with try to guilt trip her into staying with him. Get the hell out of there, OP. Especially since she was enough in control to only abuse OP when nobody was around and was pretending to be nice in front of her parents. Clearly in control of her actions.
Story 2: there were comments in that post that made me mad, downplaying what the OP went through. He's traumatized, PPD doesn't make that irrelevant, he too is a human being. And he's been hit more than one time.
Story 2: "burn marks from the hot coffee" THE COFFEE CUP HAD COFFEE IN IT!? Her hitting him over the head was bad enough but the fact it had *hot coffee* in it makes it so much worse! I thought it was an empty cup at first! OP is right to leave, actions have consequences, she's only getting help because she was going to be homeless from abusing her husband but her parents too.
Post 1: that's really weird right like why the hell would you call anyone as mommy as a joke or they aren't OK with it. Its also not his girlfriend which I feel is even weirder
To Story #3, OP's sister called HER irresponsible? Who's the flipping single mother? Who's the one who didn't line up an actual babysitter or some form of professional childcare for her three kids? And who's the one who popped off at the mouth, clearly projecting her own irresponsibility onto their sister, thinking it wouldn't come back to haunt her? OP is not the arsehole. But I do feel bad for the children having a mother like that.
Story 2 If the situation was the other way around and it was a man abusing a woman like that, everybody would be on the woman’s side. Why are they all calling OP the arsehole? That’s not fair own safety in the safety of his son he has to take full custody and kick her to the curb. NTA
I want to know who all exactly is calling him the AH? I wonder if it’s mostly the in-laws because she’s now abusing them and they just want her to leave?
2: if somebody's abusive to you because of their mental health, you are never the asshole to leave. Mental health explains why she was like that, but it doesn't excuse it at all.
Story 6- When my sister worked at McDonald's, she always got the evening and weekend shifts because she didn't have a husband or kids yet. It was complete bs
Story 2: Pregnancy and birth permanently alter one's brain. Post partum psychosis/depression are very real, and can have horrific outcomes. Yet another reason why people shouldn't take having children lightly. I'm choosing to have a hysterectomy 🥳
Story 2: Keep it up, OP. There is no way this woman got like this and then suddenly turned it off on a dime after seeing a therapist. That's not how mental health works. She can and will do it again if given the opportunity. And I'm sick of the whole "why won't you fight for me, for us" attitude. You've already proven you're not worth fighting for, and even more importantly, having a child around.
Story 2 almost sounds like psychosis. I've never experienced pregnancy really, but i do experience mania induced psychosis, so i can sympathize with the wife to an extent. It's not her fault (if) she fell victim to psychosis, but it is her responsability to fix it. That being said, i wouldn't trust her around that baby.
Story 5: Good for OP, but also, what kind of crazy person runs into a portrait studio at closing time? This ain't the local gas station, and you're not just grabbing a Red Bull and some Lay's. Contrary to popular entitled person opinion, other people's time is valuable, not just yours.
Story #6: I hate it when people without kids are discriminated against. My time, as a childless adult, is just as important as the time of a parent. I also deserve to have a life, to celebrate with family. Kids arent the only things existing out there that adults need to take care of or tend to. Not having kids doesnt make me a robot. Last fall I have gone down with covid. I got it so bad that I had to stay at home for 2 weeks. My doc even said I should stay for a few more days at home because I need time to get strength back. I had 1 coworker (who has 2 kids) and an assistant cover for me for those 2 weeks. I didnt want to burden them more, so I declined the doc's request and called my coworker that I will be going back to work asap. Mind you, I told her I am still weak and my doc told me I should stay home for a few more days but I am going back to work because of her. We work 10 hour shifts, some of it physical labor, so it will not be easy. But we switch out every 2 days, so it should be doable. What does she do? She demands I work 4 days back to back because she wants to be with her kids. I politely told her I cannot do that, I dont feel strong enough to do a 4 day schedule with 10 hour shifts. So, she calls HR and they side with her because 'she is a mom of 2 kids who now wants to spend time with them' (as if she worked those 2 weeks on her own, she had the assistant take over plenty shifts). The 4 days were hell for me. I am NEVER going to go against doctor's orders again. If he says I need to stay home for 2 and a half weeks, then I will stay home for 2 and a half weeks. Entitled parents...
Story 2. I feel horrible for the wife, because being pregnant and giving birth is a scary process. But she is being abusive, and nobody deserves this. Not you, not the kid, not the parents. She needs to stay on medication and go to therapy.
I don’t feel bad for the wife. The way the op described her ability to turn it on and if depending on whether or not there were witnesses tells me EVERYTHING about how voluntary/involuntary the behavior was.
@susankaempfer8427 Yeah, but I still feel bad. She's still a human, I feel bad that she isn't mentally well. She needs to go through serious therapy and keep on meds. Yes, she abused OP, yes, OP deserves to get away from her, but she needs help, not more negativity. I'm glad OP left, but still, I feel bad because she got pregnant, got extreme mood swings, had to give birth, got postpartum. She is going through hell, being pregnant and giving birth and afterwards is extremely hard, it doesn't excuse abuse, but I understand why she's emotional and violent.
@ I hear what you’re saying, but it’s like the people who sometimes post about a partner who is destructive and breaking things at home because they are so stressed at work and supposedly can’t control their rage. Except they never destroy their own things in their fits of rage. Sure, she’s human. But she only abused op when there were no witnesses, and refused to get help until her parents became the targets and presumably threatened to throw her out.
I'm a retired nurse. My daughter was used to celebrating ALL holidays on the next day or weekend. It was our tradition and she never minded. We made it fun. I can't stand people who use the kid card. Children appreciate the thoughful time spent with them more than a named day. Birthdays were celebrated for 2 weeks, with a small gift hidden for her to find every day.
post 6: "kids should celebrate with their mother they dont see that much" op has a mother as well, they dont get to see their family on christmas either
Okay so the second story should genuinely piss off any mother (or father as they can also get a form of ppd*) who has gone through ppd. I went through a very rough ppd and ppp(post partum psychosis). Anyone who has gone through it knows it's not easy. There were a lot of times I had to put my son down and walk out of the room because I felt myself cracking. So many sleepless nights of crying because the little voice in the back of my head saying "he'll stop screaming if you just put a pillow over his face" wouldn't shut up. So many mornings of getting so little sleep a whole pot of coffee was the only thing keeping me going. That still isn't a reason for it to be my husband or my son's issue. These 2 people who you have sworn to take care of, don't deserve to feel what op's wife put him through. Even if op was being the least supportive husband ever (which he obviously was extremely supportive). Tldr of my comment: ppd or ppp don't give you a get out of jail card. A lot of people go through it and don't abuse their husbands or kids. *Putting this here to go back into fathers with ppd. While ppd is usually a hormone change for fathers, it can be a change of hormonal changes around them (i.e. their wife) or it can be a thing of a situation/surrounding changing faster than they originally thought.
Story 6: Not giving time off because of the decision to have or not have kids, in fact, illegal. They just hide it by calling it "office manners" Who's willing to bet that discussing pay and misconduct at work is also "rude"?
Story 5, so many people think if they call ahead they'll stay open. I worked at a printing company and our hours were mon to Fri 9am to 5pm. People would complain that they were working those hours and couldn't stop by. We did most work via email and phone calls and we had a free shipping on most orders policy so if they prepaid they could have the order shipped to wherever they wanted but so many insisted on paying at pickup. So we suggested they come at lunch, most people who need business cards that their company doesn't provide have flexibility to leave their office, realtors and such so we weren't going to stay late for them. We had so many people who stop by 15 minutes before we closed and expected us to stay and work on their project while they waited. Sometimes I didn't mind, if I liked the person and I didn't have things scheduled after but if the person was rude and obnoxious I would lie and say I had somewhere to be. Id lock up and leave and drive around the corner and go back 😂. I did work late a lot but I wasn't expected to have clients in the office, it was also dangerous to be the only one there with a client so my boss had no issues with me telling people to go at closing. But the audacity to expect people to stay late, if the picture lady was picking up her order I would wait a few minutes but I definitely wouldn't wait to take photos 😂 that's too much.
Story 2: Is psychosis a common symptom of pregnancy because this isn't the first time I've heard of it? I mean, the husband is NTA for wanting to go through with the divorce but she legitimately lost her mind the moment she learned she was pregnant.
It's not common, but it does happen. Often enough that it has its own terminology even. I know a woman who developed paranoid schizophrenia during pregnancy.
It can be but nothing in what OP said indicates psychosis, it indicates domestic abuse. Probably she had depression and that made it more difficult for her to regulate her emotions but it’s no excuse for abusive behaviour.
Just had a really bad time with our family, thankfully a vincey vids here to save the day! For real though, your videos are something that I always look forward to! Thank you for always making great content!
Obligatory algorithm support. Yesterday I learned I have terrible aim when using eye drops but watching Vincey’s cats clean themselves makes me feel better about it ❤. Is that weird…? 😅
Story 2 is kind of weird because my observations have been men flipping a switch into gigantic fuckwads when the pregnancy is at six months. Never heard of this happening this way but damn that sucks for op
Story 3 - Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!!! She doesn’t want just anyone to babysit her kids, she wants OP because they’re free of charge. She can find any babysitting agency and call them, but they will charge for their service. I know exactly why the kid’s dad(s) aren’t around anymore!!
My partner and I recently adopted a new kitten called Mallow and we are still in the process of introducing him to our dog so my partner and I are often separated whilst we play with both pets. Thank you for providing great background entertainment whilst they both go nuts with their toys.
My sleep cycle is a mess. Lately it's been me waking up an hour or two before dawn and eating breakfast while it's still dark out. Today I cut short a session of Stardew Valley to come watch Vincey.
This is really fun channel and Vince does an awesome job with this, but I wish he would read some of the comments from the descending side of the argument. It would be neat to hear the other side of the argument rather than just reading all the posts from the majority side..
@ basically it’s a subreddit where people talk about buttholes getting karma for their actions/behavior in the form of payment. Like paying extra for, well, anything lol
That one story actually sounds like post pardum psychosis. I went through it personally, and it is NOT fun. I was able to get help though, shortly after the bad thoughts started. I never hurt my partner or my baby, and mental health is no joke. But that being said you don't have to forgive her abuse. Abuse is abuse no matter if it's done because of mental illness or not
For that first story, I've said something similar to my friends as a joke and its perfectly fine, but you have to know who you're saying it to, and who you're saying it around. Not everyone is okay with those kinds of jokes, and if someone is uncomfortable, just apologize and never do it again. Learn your friend's humor and boundaries
As somebody who has to park on the street and who has a neighbor with a driveway (a pretty big one as well), you know what I do when I can't park in my usual spot? Suck it up and figure it out because it's not my driveway and I don't have permission to park in it. Yeah it sucks when I sometimes have to park a few houses away or down the next street but that's not my neighbor's problem, that's something that I just have to deal with. It's really not that hard to respect other people's property and space.
Story 1: I would find it very uncomfortable if my roommate's boyfriend was at my place while she wasn't home. I am married and live with my husband, but before we moved in together he had roommates, and I ever went over while he wasn't home and his roommates were. It doesn't sound like OP is friends with this dude, but if they were in the same friend group that might explain it.....other than that I find it weird. Could be my age. Lol
I don't understand how these people think. They're allowed to do it once in a pinch, but then asked to stop doing it. Then told to stop doing it. Then they're shocked when they're stopped from doing it. I.e, towed out of the driveway or locked out of the yard or whatever.
I love your accent. I’m your typical clueless elderly American and enjoy watching your videos. If I ever meet you I’ll be forced to pinch your cheeks because you’re so sweet
Story 1. I hate the idea of ride or die. You shouldn't find people that will die for you if to are an idiot. Where I'm from, "Mami" is used lovingly. Like you say it, to your daughter (or really close small girl), mother or flirting by being fake close with a woman. I literally wouldn't have thought anything about it. Context really matters.
Story 2: Even if wife is having mental health issues, OP is NTA for divorcing her. There’s no guarantee she will continue to take her medication. She could easily slip back into the behavior. He needs to protect himself and his child.
You never have to forgive your abuser and nobody should be able tell you that you should
Yep, it’s like an abusive alcoholic who is now sober - that doesn’t undo the abuse and what if they slip again? I also don’t think post partum depression excuses her violent behavior
Not just that, even if she stays on her medication that doesn’t magically get rid of all the abuse she put him through. Mental health may be a reason that she acted like that, but it is NOT an excuse and OP did all he could to help her.
@@ghoultooth exactly and nobody should be able to tell him when he should forgive her if he does cause the damage is done
Especially when she hid it from everyone. On some level she was aware of how she was acting. It sounds more like she baby trapped him. Abusers like to wait until their spouse has a kid before letting the mask slip because they know it's harder to leave and the victim is attached to them at that point.
Story 1: He won't come over again until she apologizes? He didn't think that "threat" through.
Classic case of threatening someone with a good time.
@@mjjoe76 And anyway, what is he doing over there when his GF isn't home to begin with? With all the info we know, I'm just going to say it: guy's a creep.
I honestly thought at first it said her boyfriend called her mommy and I giggled but when I reread it and it said roommates bf I was like what the heck?
He's so egotistical he thinks his presence is a gift
Thanks so much. Lol
Story 2: Abuse is abuse, no matter who is the victim is. Good on OP on what he's doing and I hope he does get full custody of their child.
No one would expect a woman to go back to a man who abused her and refused help.
Well that's just not true
Story 2: I've been in the wife's shoes. Sometimes first time pregnancies can cause a sort of psychosis that can last months and sometimes years after baby is born. One of the symptoms is extreme violent mood swings. I developed it when I was pregnant but I got help the first time it was brought to my attention. OPs wife should have listened to him and gotten help when he asked. It's not her fault she developed this but it's her responsibility to fix it. OP has every right to divorce her for not getting help sooner and being so abusive to him.
Yup yup. If you genuinely love and respect the people around you, you listen when they ask you to get help or tell you you're scaring them.
Edited for spelling
Also the fact that she can be calm and happy in the presense of others is telling
That's true, but OP is right in getting him and his kid away from an abuser. Even if the abuse had a medical reason. There's no guarantee she stays on her meds or won't retaliate in the future.
I could never feel safe around her again.
Each day, the cat tree creeps closer. By the end, there will only be a cat tree in view. Vince will eventually be in the back reading us Reddit stories. 😂
Lmaoooo 😂😂
Story 2: I have learned in nursing about modd changes and post partum depression and they're very real and uncontrollable. That being said, they do not excuse physical or emotional abuse. There might be issues and problems that come but if she is not able to get help and improve then you're not the a-hole.
You gave her a chance and she took it too late.
Story 6. Dealt with coworkers like that for ten years back in the early 2000’s. Those people prey upon the childless for time off at their expense never to return the favour. Everyone’s got a family and friends whom are just as important as their little goblins.
@@RobertN-v2u I like how you call them little goblins lol
Saying "I knew that you wouldn't mind" when you confront her makes no sense when you're actively telling her that you do mind
Story 6: No idea what OP does, but they really need to follow the model where you get Thanksgiving or Christmas.
This guarantees kids get to see their parents during one of the big family holidays and everyone else can see their families, if they want to.
Story 6: "My kids deserve with their mom" Well, OP's parents deserve to be with their kid.
Story 2 He's definitely NTA.
She's a danger to him and his son.
She smashed a pot of hot coffee over him while he was changing the baby. Can you imagine what she might do to the baby if she's left alone with him and she gets tired of him crying?
Even if she's getting medicated now she's only just started that and she doesn't want to change. What's stopping her from just going off her meds when she gets what she wants.
Story 2: Absolutely NTA. This does not sound like ordinary mental health issues. It sounds like maybe anti-social personality disorder; like a sociopath who attempted to baby-trap him. The fact that she can just "switch off" the abuse and go back to "normal" enough around other people to convince them she is the victim... yikes. She's a danger to him and the baby for certain.
Edit: I would add, this thing she's doing where she's saying "well I went to therapy, I'm on meds, I'm better now, so you should come back" is also a trick performed by people with APD. When her abuse turned toward her parents and they threatened to kick her out, she realized she was losing control of the people around her. If she were a normal person with empathy, she would understand the consequence of her abuse and accept it. "I hit this person so egregiously that they needed stitches, it's entirely understandable that they can't trust me anymore" would be the response of any reasonable person. She would not be telling people to bother OP by suggesting they get back together. The therapy and meds could just be a vehicle for regaining control.
I was giving her the BOD that she's emotionally distraught about the divorce and that's why she's still me me meing rather than accepting the consequences (not that that's an excuse, and nor should OP stay with her) but I think you may be on to something.
But you'd think she wouldn't have abused her parents, right? Wouldn't she be able to controll herself or realize to keep her story up she has to behave around them?
I do agree at the end of the day her behavior was manipulative and calculating, which definitely isn't normal.
Story 6. Don't explain yourself. Also, it's an expectation because they can not legally discriminate against childless people and make, only, them work every holiday. So, they choose peer pressure.
Story 1: NTA. Even if his wife is finally getting the help she needs and goes back to the sweet woman she apparently was before, that doesn’t remove the trauma OP suffered. Also, as one of the comments on the post pointed out, she could control herself when others were around but let go when they were alone.
Story 2: OP should agree with sister that she’s too irresponsible to babysit and tell everyone giving her a hard time for refusing to babysit that she’ll pass on their offer to babysit to sister.
Story 3: OP needs to point out she has a mother who would like to see her child on holidays.
Story 3: There's a term for people like OP's sister, and that term is "self-sabotaging idiot." The nerve of her to call OP self-centered.
And I said this yesterday on another story, but yeah, OP doesn't know what it's like to be a parent. Because OP isn't a parent. So they don't have the responsibility of taking care of a child. Funny how that works, isn't it? The sister bit off her own nose to spite her face, and now instead of SOME help she gets none. And that's 100% fair. Don't be a [meow] to people you expect to help you.
the thing about story two that makes me so frustrated is that i KNOW if their genders were swapped, NO ONE would be calling the wife a “monster” for trying to leave him.
Lay off the Incel content bro, those alpha males will rot your mind and only guarantee you'll be alone forever.
There's too many people who don't take abuse against men seriously. Abuse is abuse; anyone can be a perpetrator and anyone can be a victim.
@@sushimulaney7657 exactly! that’s what i was trying to say
@@nohaybando9586I'm not sure what the alpha male content has to do with this as this is a real issue. This is not something that a man only believes, woman also believe that men can be abused and nobody will bat an eye unless the roles were switched...
My boyfriend thought Vincey was one of those AI voices till I started playing the most recent videos with face came and he was like “he’s a real guy!?” And I’m like yes of course he’s a real guy? Lmao
I thought it was an AI voice too except I'd seen his face before
Do people not realize that AI voices still don’t sound like real people yet? Not the ones people use to read Reddit stories on RUclips anyways.
Story 2- she's calling you an asshole for not taking her back... Her calling you an asshole is proof the therapy isn't working.
Also, I heard about someone's wife going crazy like this when pregnant, and it turned out it was her diet, she had started a new diet that was missing B12 or something like that. As soon as they changed her diet she went back to normal.
100%. She's using going to therapy as a get out of jail free card. If she really regretted what she'd done she wouldn't be taking this tack of calling OP and AH for his completely sensible reaction, she would be trying to make things right as best she could.
Post 6: at my mom’s old job she had to work Thanksgiving every year, so we celebrated either the day before or the day after. Also in my opinion: if June wants Thanksgiving off then she should give up having Christmas off to OP, that way it’s a fair trade.
Story 4: Absolutely agree about having her towed. This neighbor is a user and a taker. If she wanted a driveway, hey, maybe she should have chosen to live in a place with a driveway. I know it's hard to wrap a person's head around, but making decisions based on what we want is the way to get what we want. 😲
Story 2: NTA Kinda telling that she could control herself around witnesses during her pregnancy.
Maybe she also has PPD, but that doesn't seem to be the only thing going on.
I feel like to me it sounds like bipolar disorder
To me, it just sounds like she had an excuse to act "however she wanted," while pregnant, and she took it. Then, those behaviors kept escalating as she was faced with no consequences. Otherwise, how would she turn it on and off like a switch?
And it didn't just go away with a week or two of therapy and meds. She's still very much a ticking bomb.
I said the same. Her switching it off around others so she could pretend to be the victim was very suspect.
Maybe postpartum psychosis, although one could argue undiagnosed bipolar disorder as well. That would be a ugly mix
Story 1: I've never been pregnant, but i have had scary emotional side effects from a medication change. But instead of letting the sudden unexplainable rage make me hurt other people, I told my family and friends what was happening and asked for help. I didnt want to hurt anyone, despite the scary urges. Unless you are having psychotic episodes you truly cannot control, ypu are in charge of what you do with your emotions. Full stop.
I hope story 2 is rage bait, no one deserves to go through that situation.
Agreed
Story 6: It seems to happen a lot in USA where parents think childless/childfree people should cover holidays as if they don't have partners, parents, siblings, etc, that they want to see too. My husband works in a kitchen on a homeless shelter along with two women. They have children but we don't. There's three holidays here in Denmark at the end of the year. Morten's evening, Christmas and New Year. Everyone always agree that they take a day each. I've asked my husband to cover Christmas the last two years and he will again this year because we don't care about celebrating Christmas so that made sense. The parents cover the other two.
That's the way it should be, working together to figure something out. Not, "I have kids so I'm more important." That kind of parent really makes the whole having kids thing look something less than attractive.
@@mage1439 I wholeheartedly agree.
Post 2: this wife is completely insane. are you sure it's just "pregnancy hormones" and "post-partum depression" and that she isn't just a violent abuser? OP, get out of this marriage while you can. this woman has physically and emotionally assaulted you enough. serve her those divorce papers and get away before she takes things further than smashing a coffee cup over your head. and the family members saying YOU'RE the one tearing apart the family? please. sorry isn't good enough when you hurt somebody, and your wife has hurt you enough. needless to say, NTA.
ngl story 2 reminds me of bipolar disorder, from experiences with my mom. Going from 0 to 100 suddenly and such
Story 6: Get out of here with that crap. Having kids doesn't make your life of more importance than other people, and if you want to be able to spend holidays with them, you should consider what's more important -- them, or this specific job. Nobody twisted June's tit and made her take this job. It's a load of bull to act like not having kids means seeing your family is somehow less relevant. It's nobody else's responsibility that you chose to have children. You don't get to count on other people just rearranging their whole lives to accommodate your choice to bring kids into the world. I bet if OP had an emergency, June would NEVER agree to work from them. Because this kind of attitude is almost always a one-way street.
These people are like Cookie Monster, but instead of cookies it's holidays, or plane seats, or whatever. "I get all the holidays and you don't get any. Nomnomnomnomnom."
In industries that require coverage 365 days per year (in the USA), no one should have to work both Thanksgiving and Christmas unless they volunteer. No one should be forced.
Hey Vincey! I got a new kitten. He doesn't currently have a name, but I've been referring to him as the cat with many names. AKA: Vincey Von Chai Le Cookie Dough Coconut Cocoa Butter. He's a Siamese and he's only about 7 weeks old as of typing this. :) I wish I could show you pictures of him because he's soooo cute!
Honestly that whole name is perfect for that little kitty cat
That wife in the second story is completely insane and abusive.
Pregnancy can trigger underlying mental illness but her reaction after the divorce processing started and she was getting help
Holy carp that first wholesome meme hit hard. I was not prepared.
story 2: as far as im aware, ppd doesnt make you phsycially abusive
Story 2: If the genders were reversed and it was the husband who verbally, physically and mentally abused his wife, not a single soul with try to guilt trip her into staying with him. Get the hell out of there, OP. Especially since she was enough in control to only abuse OP when nobody was around and was pretending to be nice in front of her parents. Clearly in control of her actions.
With the cat tower in front of the mirror, it doubles the amount of cats we get to see during the video 😆😻😻
Jinn is seriously such a cutie. Just lying there like that. I wish I were a cat.
story 3: so, OP is supposedly irresponsible, yet her sister still wants her to babysit her young kids. Makes total sense 🤦♀
Story 2: there were comments in that post that made me mad, downplaying what the OP went through. He's traumatized, PPD doesn't make that irrelevant, he too is a human being. And he's been hit more than one time.
Story 2: WTF. You are NEVER obligated to forgive your abuser. That was terrifying to listen to. The cup to the head. Holy shit
Story 2: "burn marks from the hot coffee" THE COFFEE CUP HAD COFFEE IN IT!? Her hitting him over the head was bad enough but the fact it had *hot coffee* in it makes it so much worse! I thought it was an empty cup at first! OP is right to leave, actions have consequences, she's only getting help because she was going to be homeless from abusing her husband but her parents too.
Don’t forget, he was literally in the process of changing the child’s diaper. There could have easily been collateral damage.
Post 1: that's really weird right like why the hell would you call anyone as mommy as a joke or they aren't OK with it. Its also not his girlfriend which I feel is even weirder
To Story #3, OP's sister called HER irresponsible? Who's the flipping single mother? Who's the one who didn't line up an actual babysitter or some form of professional childcare for her three kids? And who's the one who popped off at the mouth, clearly projecting her own irresponsibility onto their sister, thinking it wouldn't come back to haunt her?
OP is not the arsehole. But I do feel bad for the children having a mother like that.
Story 2 If the situation was the other way around and it was a man abusing a woman like that, everybody would be on the woman’s side. Why are they all calling OP the arsehole? That’s not fair own safety in the safety of his son he has to take full custody and kick her to the curb. NTA
I want to know who all exactly is calling him the AH? I wonder if it’s mostly the in-laws because she’s now abusing them and they just want her to leave?
2: if somebody's abusive to you because of their mental health, you are never the asshole to leave. Mental health explains why she was like that, but it doesn't excuse it at all.
"It's a joke!"
You keep saying that word, but it's clear you have no clue what it means.
Story 6- When my sister worked at McDonald's, she always got the evening and weekend shifts because she didn't have a husband or kids yet. It was complete bs
Story 2: Pregnancy and birth permanently alter one's brain.
Post partum psychosis/depression are very real, and can have horrific outcomes.
Yet another reason why people shouldn't take having children lightly. I'm choosing to have a hysterectomy 🥳
Story 2: Keep it up, OP. There is no way this woman got like this and then suddenly turned it off on a dime after seeing a therapist. That's not how mental health works. She can and will do it again if given the opportunity. And I'm sick of the whole "why won't you fight for me, for us" attitude. You've already proven you're not worth fighting for, and even more importantly, having a child around.
Cleaning session for the kitties today !
Vincey makes everyone light up. Him having to close the blinds prooves this!
Story 2 almost sounds like psychosis. I've never experienced pregnancy really, but i do experience mania induced psychosis, so i can sympathize with the wife to an extent. It's not her fault (if) she fell victim to psychosis, but it is her responsability to fix it. That being said, i wouldn't trust her around that baby.
Story 5: Good for OP, but also, what kind of crazy person runs into a portrait studio at closing time? This ain't the local gas station, and you're not just grabbing a Red Bull and some Lay's. Contrary to popular entitled person opinion, other people's time is valuable, not just yours.
Jokes are a test, and a way to say what one really thinks, without consequences.
Story 2: Holy hell. I hope OP and the kid are okay now
Story #6: I hate it when people without kids are discriminated against. My time, as a childless adult, is just as important as the time of a parent. I also deserve to have a life, to celebrate with family. Kids arent the only things existing out there that adults need to take care of or tend to. Not having kids doesnt make me a robot.
Last fall I have gone down with covid. I got it so bad that I had to stay at home for 2 weeks. My doc even said I should stay for a few more days at home because I need time to get strength back. I had 1 coworker (who has 2 kids) and an assistant cover for me for those 2 weeks. I didnt want to burden them more, so I declined the doc's request and called my coworker that I will be going back to work asap. Mind you, I told her I am still weak and my doc told me I should stay home for a few more days but I am going back to work because of her. We work 10 hour shifts, some of it physical labor, so it will not be easy. But we switch out every 2 days, so it should be doable. What does she do? She demands I work 4 days back to back because she wants to be with her kids. I politely told her I cannot do that, I dont feel strong enough to do a 4 day schedule with 10 hour shifts. So, she calls HR and they side with her because 'she is a mom of 2 kids who now wants to spend time with them' (as if she worked those 2 weeks on her own, she had the assistant take over plenty shifts). The 4 days were hell for me.
I am NEVER going to go against doctor's orders again. If he says I need to stay home for 2 and a half weeks, then I will stay home for 2 and a half weeks. Entitled parents...
Story 2. I feel horrible for the wife, because being pregnant and giving birth is a scary process. But she is being abusive, and nobody deserves this. Not you, not the kid, not the parents. She needs to stay on medication and go to therapy.
I don’t feel bad for the wife. The way the op described her ability to turn it on and if depending on whether or not there were witnesses tells me EVERYTHING about how voluntary/involuntary the behavior was.
@susankaempfer8427 Yeah, but I still feel bad. She's still a human, I feel bad that she isn't mentally well. She needs to go through serious therapy and keep on meds. Yes, she abused OP, yes, OP deserves to get away from her, but she needs help, not more negativity. I'm glad OP left, but still, I feel bad because she got pregnant, got extreme mood swings, had to give birth, got postpartum. She is going through hell, being pregnant and giving birth and afterwards is extremely hard, it doesn't excuse abuse, but I understand why she's emotional and violent.
@ I hear what you’re saying, but it’s like the people who sometimes post about a partner who is destructive and breaking things at home because they are so stressed at work and supposedly can’t control their rage. Except they never destroy their own things in their fits of rage.
Sure, she’s human. But she only abused op when there were no witnesses, and refused to get help until her parents became the targets and presumably threatened to throw her out.
I'm a retired nurse. My daughter was used to celebrating ALL holidays on the next day or weekend. It was our tradition and she never minded. We made it fun. I can't stand people who use the kid card. Children appreciate the thoughful time spent with them more than a named day. Birthdays were celebrated for 2 weeks, with a small gift hidden for her to find every day.
That's really cool. I love the gift hidden every day for two weeks.
Yay cat tree! Here’s to another shower with Vincey stories in the background!
post 6: "kids should celebrate with their mother they dont see that much" op has a mother as well, they dont get to see their family on christmas either
Okay so the second story should genuinely piss off any mother (or father as they can also get a form of ppd*) who has gone through ppd. I went through a very rough ppd and ppp(post partum psychosis). Anyone who has gone through it knows it's not easy. There were a lot of times I had to put my son down and walk out of the room because I felt myself cracking. So many sleepless nights of crying because the little voice in the back of my head saying "he'll stop screaming if you just put a pillow over his face" wouldn't shut up. So many mornings of getting so little sleep a whole pot of coffee was the only thing keeping me going. That still isn't a reason for it to be my husband or my son's issue. These 2 people who you have sworn to take care of, don't deserve to feel what op's wife put him through. Even if op was being the least supportive husband ever (which he obviously was extremely supportive).
Tldr of my comment: ppd or ppp don't give you a get out of jail card. A lot of people go through it and don't abuse their husbands or kids.
*Putting this here to go back into fathers with ppd. While ppd is usually a hormone change for fathers, it can be a change of hormonal changes around them (i.e. their wife) or it can be a thing of a situation/surrounding changing faster than they originally thought.
Story 6: Not giving time off because of the decision to have or not have kids, in fact, illegal. They just hide it by calling it "office manners"
Who's willing to bet that discussing pay and misconduct at work is also "rude"?
Story 5, so many people think if they call ahead they'll stay open. I worked at a printing company and our hours were mon to Fri 9am to 5pm. People would complain that they were working those hours and couldn't stop by. We did most work via email and phone calls and we had a free shipping on most orders policy so if they prepaid they could have the order shipped to wherever they wanted but so many insisted on paying at pickup. So we suggested they come at lunch, most people who need business cards that their company doesn't provide have flexibility to leave their office, realtors and such so we weren't going to stay late for them. We had so many people who stop by 15 minutes before we closed and expected us to stay and work on their project while they waited. Sometimes I didn't mind, if I liked the person and I didn't have things scheduled after but if the person was rude and obnoxious I would lie and say I had somewhere to be. Id lock up and leave and drive around the corner and go back 😂. I did work late a lot but I wasn't expected to have clients in the office, it was also dangerous to be the only one there with a client so my boss had no issues with me telling people to go at closing. But the audacity to expect people to stay late, if the picture lady was picking up her order I would wait a few minutes but I definitely wouldn't wait to take photos 😂 that's too much.
Good to see your face and the cat tree every morning. It's like a nice egg in these trying times.
the ‘thank you for not giving up’ meme was so cute! i needed that
Story 2: Is psychosis a common symptom of pregnancy because this isn't the first time I've heard of it? I mean, the husband is NTA for wanting to go through with the divorce but she legitimately lost her mind the moment she learned she was pregnant.
It's not common, but it does happen. Often enough that it has its own terminology even.
I know a woman who developed paranoid schizophrenia during pregnancy.
It can be but nothing in what OP said indicates psychosis, it indicates domestic abuse. Probably she had depression and that made it more difficult for her to regulate her emotions but it’s no excuse for abusive behaviour.
Day 1,186 of reminding everyone to do things for yourself because you're worth it
@@alecmomenee-duprie2777 ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎
My kitten, Cirilla, says hello! She just turned 9 months old.
Just had a really bad time with our family, thankfully a vincey vids here to save the day!
For real though, your videos are something that I always look forward to! Thank you for always making great content!
I hope whatever it is you're okay.
Sorry to hear that. Hope everything goes well ❤
You are slowly just becoming a cat cam 😂
Obligatory algorithm support. Yesterday I learned I have terrible aim when using eye drops but watching Vincey’s cats clean themselves makes me feel better about it ❤.
Is that weird…? 😅
Story 2 is kind of weird because my observations have been men flipping a switch into gigantic fuckwads when the pregnancy is at six months. Never heard of this happening this way but damn that sucks for op
Came here for reddit stories, stayed for the cats
story 5 lady was not likely "on her way", as cell phones were not that common in the mid-90's
It was how you described "about to head out the door" in the landline age.
OP clearly understood that from the story.
@@lostshadows768 Yes, and also understood "about to head out the door" means anything from 30-90 minutes away from leaving the house.
@@mage1439 Not necessarily, but since she couldn't possibly get there until, at best, five minutes after closing, it didn't matter.
help me i havent slept all night its 6 am but i have a cat on my lap
Day 891 of reminding everyone to drink some water! Stay hydrated, friends!
@@mayawatkins6073 🧃
Story 3 - Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!!! She doesn’t want just anyone to babysit her kids, she wants OP because they’re free of charge. She can find any babysitting agency and call them, but they will charge for their service. I know exactly why the kid’s dad(s) aren’t around anymore!!
3- NTA, I babysit my niece to help my sister out! Don't re-engage until she apologizes and set boundaries!
My partner and I recently adopted a new kitten called Mallow and we are still in the process of introducing him to our dog so my partner and I are often separated whilst we play with both pets. Thank you for providing great background entertainment whilst they both go nuts with their toys.
Story six: single people deserve time with family and friends, too!
We call people who praise you to the manager a "Care'n."
Who even has their boyfriend come over when they themselves are not home?
The same kind of person who thinks everybody else except their boyfriend is the problem.
I was really not stoked to be awake this early until just now
I live in the UK, so it's 13.10 right now. Means I get to be here early.
My sleep cycle is a mess. Lately it's been me waking up an hour or two before dawn and eating breakfast while it's still dark out. Today I cut short a session of Stardew Valley to come watch Vincey.
Thank you for sharing your fur babies with us! They are so sweet 😍😍
Nice hoodie! I wore my Nirvana shirt today too lol
I'm a little weirded out by In Utero image and the Bleach color scheme. 🤣
Gin looks just like my Leo. He's so pretty❤
This is really fun channel and Vince does an awesome job with this, but I wish he would read some of the comments from the descending side of the argument. It would be neat to hear the other side of the argument rather than just reading all the posts from the majority side..
Vincey should read r/assholetax
I second this 😂
I don't think I've ever seen that before
@ basically it’s a subreddit where people talk about buttholes getting karma for their actions/behavior in the form of payment. Like paying extra for, well, anything lol
been noticing for a few eps now how fire your hoodies are 🫡🫡
Story 6 really irks me. You’re basically telling someone that their life, obligations, and family aren’t as important as someone else.
And that their kids are your responsibility.
That one story actually sounds like post pardum psychosis. I went through it personally, and it is NOT fun. I was able to get help though, shortly after the bad thoughts started. I never hurt my partner or my baby, and mental health is no joke. But that being said you don't have to forgive her abuse. Abuse is abuse no matter if it's done because of mental illness or not
My parents have kids too. Why is it not important that they see me over the holidays?
For that first story, I've said something similar to my friends as a joke and its perfectly fine, but you have to know who you're saying it to, and who you're saying it around. Not everyone is okay with those kinds of jokes, and if someone is uncomfortable, just apologize and never do it again. Learn your friend's humor and boundaries
Story 3: I hate when parents think they are entitled to child free peoples time.
As somebody who has to park on the street and who has a neighbor with a driveway (a pretty big one as well), you know what I do when I can't park in my usual spot? Suck it up and figure it out because it's not my driveway and I don't have permission to park in it. Yeah it sucks when I sometimes have to park a few houses away or down the next street but that's not my neighbor's problem, that's something that I just have to deal with. It's really not that hard to respect other people's property and space.
"Youre a monster because you have no idea what Ive gone through"
Back at ya, b
Why were there only kittens left at the shelter after a 2 week closure…. They killed all the adults huh 😰😩😭
Story 1: I would find it very uncomfortable if my roommate's boyfriend was at my place while she wasn't home. I am married and live with my husband, but before we moved in together he had roommates, and I ever went over while he wasn't home and his roommates were. It doesn't sound like OP is friends with this dude, but if they were in the same friend group that might explain it.....other than that I find it weird. Could be my age. Lol
I don't understand how these people think. They're allowed to do it once in a pinch, but then asked to stop doing it. Then told to stop doing it. Then they're shocked when they're stopped from doing it. I.e, towed out of the driveway or locked out of the yard or whatever.
I love your accent. I’m your typical clueless elderly American and enjoy watching your videos. If I ever meet you I’ll be forced to pinch your cheeks because you’re so sweet
I hope if you ever meet Vincey and pinch his cheeks you'll film it for us.
Story 1. I hate the idea of ride or die. You shouldn't find people that will die for you if to are an idiot.
Where I'm from, "Mami" is used lovingly. Like you say it, to your daughter (or really close small girl), mother or flirting by being fake close with a woman. I literally wouldn't have thought anything about it. Context really matters.