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Pay My Mom's $100,000 Parent PLUS Loan For Her?
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- Опубликовано: 30 окт 2022
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Tell your kids up front that they have to pay for their own education. That is much kinder and less damaging to the parent-child relationship than taking on a bunch of debt you have no intention of fulfilling and then guilt-tripping your child for decades.
Agree -- mine didn't have to say it in so many words; I knew they didn't have a dime to contribute to my college. So I took the initiative to get scholarships, etc., whatever it took to pay my own way. Looking back, I'm glad I went that route. So many of my fellow students had parents who were footing the bill for school, and constantly threatening to yank their tuition, cut them off, etc., if they chose the "wrong" major, hung out with people they didn't like or didn't keep their grades up. Mine didn't do that, because they had nothing invested - not financially, anyway. Emotionally? Story for another time...
My parents were going to make me pay half. I investigated options and chose not go. For me, it was a good decision. I am better off financially than a lot of my friends with a degree.
It is hard to gain compliance with a 6-year-old,
Be a good boy and do right, you're going to college.
I chose a university at 10,
and studied every day, (1450 SAT Minimum, top 1%, 3.80 GPA minimum)
obtained a tuition and fees scholarship at 16,
Partied my Sr. year.
Highest median starting Salary from a public institution in the USA.
My Japanese mother said, " America is the greatest country in the world because
anyone who wants to go to college, can do so for FREE."
ALL my siblings have FREE college educations.
@ Alley Keosheyan..I want to hear the emotional part. Don’t leave us hanging. Were they supportive??
@Clean and Organized Home That's great. I am referring to people who are financially or otherwise unable to bear the cost of their child's higher education, but feel pressured/obliged to do so.
Generally speaking, a parent's duty to their child's education extends through high school (middle school in some countries).
One of the reasons society is so off balance right now is because parents and children collectively take on lifelong debt to fund a higher education adventure they cannot afford, and often don't utilize later in life.
The mom shouldn’t have taken out any loans to begin with.
I also wouldn't pay her directly. I'd pay my agreed payments directly to the loan company.
She obviously makes enough money if she has a “church car” 😂
no, she has "church car Debt
I really take for granted how I grew up with stable parents.
Yeah that’s a huge blessing I’m happy for you ❤
It does seem to be a rare thing!
@@nicokl5593 very
Lol. Right. Mine are highly unstable but they paid my college so I’m very grateful
I promise the Mom spent YEARS at her church every Sunday bragging to anyone that would listen about how she was sending her child to college. Now she gets to pay for those bragging rights!
Guaranteed that most of that money did not goes towards college. She spent it on other things.
No. Those loans go directly to the school
@@georgewagner7787 Actually they may not have. With Parent Plus Loans they can be paid to the parent instead of directly to the school and a lot of schools are not set up to take direct payments from the lender.
Never, ever do business with family. Take care of your own business. Pay for everything you do on your own. You will never regret it.
She wasn’t tricked. She’s now reneging on her commitment. Do not pay it.
Ramsay is “spot on”! Offer to help with student loan BUT do not take it over.
Mom should sell both cars and get a
Monthly bus pass
im so happy i have no student debt
Yup it’s destroyed my life and my relationship with my mother also. I’ll never let my kids ever take out student loans. Ever.
Boggles my mind when parents don't just say we don't have it. My parents did this. Annoys me so much.
He did get the benefit of the loans. A college education which he would not have gotten probably otherwise. He should pay it.
Agreed.
100%. The guy makes $140k and he doesnt even want to help his mom?? He is completely ungrateful and entitled.
@@Immigrantlovesamerica 💯
What’s there to be grateful for if he pays off the loan she took? 😂
He shouldn't pay the interest on it that she never paid on it. The Parent Plus loan ballooned because she never made any payments on it.
The Sunday car used to be common. People saved the nicer car to impress people at a place of communion aka the church. Doesn't mean it was smart, but it was a thing.
Terrible people
High-earning parent didn’t save for his education and they both borrowed up to their eyeballs instead. Now she guilt trips him? She wants the loan “back” in his name? When was it ever in his name? Talk about a travel agent for guilt trips . . .
I haven't listened to Dave in a while, but this was a good one. Made me laugh, too.
Parent Plus Loans are in the Mom's name. Only way she can get out is of she gets another loan, pays off the Plus, and get's the new loan in her daughters name. NO, don't take the plus loan over, Mom took it out and is not a reasonable adult. You owe nothing legally to the plus loan. I like Dave's idea of matching (which you can do, anyone can cut a check to the loan), and how it should come with some strings. Parents mean well, but this mom is toxic now that she has this leverage against her daughter.
Her mom is probably a TikTok nurse dancing in videos while the hospitals are supposedly "overwhelmed".
It’s worse it’s a NP so they get doctor jobs
Absolutely NOT!!
My aunt had a weekend car. Don't sign up for anybodys debt. You got to be debt free to get with me.
Was it a sports car? That would be fun if you could afford it.
@@DarcieGlam no Cadillac CTS. She only road caddy's. She only got the second car until the first one was about as old as a college graduate.
Someone you are dating can easily lie about their debt, though
@@TimeisUp22 They can lie about anything. What's your point? If they say they debt free ask for a screen shot. 9/10 they going to tell you they have debt they might not say how much but they will most likely say yes. 80% of Americans are in debt so most going to either say yes or not answer.
I might be different, but I would never let my mother take out a loan for me.
Mom probably came up with the idea. She probably never taught this kid that these loans were a bad idea.
I say that now but when I was younger, I had no idea how bad this could be.
I’m like shaking imagining all these “rich” rednecks in oklahoma just living off debt after debt yikes
The person who signs for a loan is responsible for the loan.
What was the initial agreement?
Very underrated comment
Did the money actually pay for college?
That's quite admirable, but would never expect my kid to pay for her own school. I'm a good Dad and provider. I know the possible disadvantage she would endure if I didn't. Being a parent does not end at 18. Why did you even have kids?
Maybe they can consider paying the principal. Not sure how much that way, but either way it sucks. It would have been nice to know sooner that their parent expected them to take on the loan so they could adjust their lifestyle accordingly.
Agree with Dave but add one item. The daughter needs access to the account so she can confirm the payment was made.
When my daughter when to college there were some loans in my name. These were for me to pay, not my daughter.
Absolutely. I see too many times where the payments never get made.
As a youth pastor, I’m interested in hearing more about this church car perk.
3:40 I bursted out laughing when Dave said “church car” 😂
I'd pay the original amount of the parent plus loan but she is responsible for all the interest it has accrued.
For 13 years she has played nothing on this loan. She could have made a big dent in this in that time 😮
It’s absolute garbage when parents with the means to save for their kids college do not save for their kids college. Then they push their kids into college by taking out a parent plus loan and then put guilt trips on their kids to pay it back. Total garbage, not the kids responsibility ever
I so agree a parent plus loan is just that. The parent should take it out as a parent with the intentions of paying it back themselves.
She is irresponsible with her money so no help. If mom was more responsible then maybe help would be warranted
I took out a 30k student loan for my daughter with the intentions of earning my salary at minimum of 300k plus not including entrepreneurship and founder income these combined are more than enough to pay back my student loans and my parent plus loan.
I work in the student loan industry and a lot of people sincerely don’t know what they are getting themselves into. Also learned not to co-sign unless you intend on paying the bill. It breaks a lot of relationships
It's called parents plus. Parents have to pay it. It is under her name.
Dude makes 140k and he doesn’t want to help is MOTHER pay back HIS student loan that he wouldn’t have been able to qualify for without her? I hope my sons don’t grow up to be this entitled
agree, i think its sad that the child doesnt feel like he/she needs to pay and seeking a second opinion. he/she makes 143000.
Where did it say it was a man?
Mom Is entitled to not wanting to pay something back that's on her name
I’m going home telling Sharon I need another car .. church car 😂
A convertible
It’s not the child’s responsibility especially if the parent forced the child to go to college when she/he didn’t want to go and eventually dropped out. This happens way too commonly.
Different story though if the child asked the parent to take the loan out and promised to pay it back. Even then the parent is still legally obligated to pay it so it’s a sticky situation to be in.
Moral of the story: don’t take out loans for other people in your name no matter how much you love them.
Right omggggg. I’m
Trying to save up so I can pay my sons college monthly and not have loans
Same daughter will call back in a few years complaining that the mom passed away and didn't leave an inheritance! Instead left her stuff to her dog instead of ungrateful kid!
I haven’t heard of “church car” since at least 30 years! Yes certain people did have church cars as unbelievable as it sounds!
I like Dave's solution. Next time I suggest sending your kids to more affordable colleges.
Two years in community college, two years in state university. Free education.
@@Immigrantlovesamerica Agree. I went In-state. Also remember to compare room rent prices between college towns.
The daughter is talking about how bad her moms spending habits are but I'm sure the daughter has some bad spending habits too. Next time, tell your child to go to community College, if they don't want to go there, they sign their own loans or work for it. Just an unfortunate situation.
It's a son!
@@ykook7000 I'm sorry, you must be that daughter boy
Next time?
I dunno. That paper was written from the child’s perspective. There might be more to the situation than was stated and now Dave is giving advice that the writer will follow without knowing the entire story. There’s always two sides. I think there’s more to unpack before jumping to conclusions.
Hi what a pretty picture you've on your profile! Just decided to stop by and say Hi!! I hope my compliment is appreciated 😊❤
@@jefferythomas7038 aww it is appreciated Jeffery. Thank you. But I feel obligated to tell u that this pic is about 10 years old, before I had a child, 20 lbs lighter, and I think it had a filter on it because I had an android at the time and I didn’t know all the pics I was taking were filtered. But thanks! Lol I should change my pic, but I’m not sure how…I’ll figure it out
Okay nice and you’re welcome as well. Where are you from?
I think the daughter should pay for it bc at the end of the day the $100k was used for her education. It sucks that the mom changed her mind about paying for it though. That’s why i wouldn’t allow my parents to take out a loan for me.
It didn’t start out as $100K. The interest has made it grow to $100K. He didn’t say how much she borrowed.
I disagree, like GenX X said, the loan grew to 100K. Maybe they can consider paying the principal.
Daughter shouldn’t pay a dime. Not her loan.
The loans in the mom’s name, she doesn’t have the option to “change her mind”.
She should pay the part that went to her education
Great advice
The answer depends on what happened before taking out the loan. Did you ask them to take this loan out for you? Or did they say they are sending you to college and take the loan out themselves
The church car took me out 😩
There is always guilt and gas-lighting w/this type of parent.
So another "freak of a parent" call. *I recall the term "church key" back in the day but a "church car" is off it's rocker.
Who the heck are you Dave to tell this man to tell his mom how to spend her money???????? She can spend her money however she wants!!!!!!
Dave gave contradictory advice when a mom purchased a car for her son and told him she would make the payments. Yet later on the mom didn’t want to pay, Dave told her to make the son pay or give the car back.
The loan was for him well pay the loan
Nope. She did it on her own accord
If I was making 143k, I would ask for her log in info and make direct payments to the loan servicer for principal only. 17 years of interest falls on her.
Pay only what was innitailly borrowed and only what mon can prove she actually gave you towards your education
I think it is important for us to take accountability! I love the idea Dave!!!
He should have only taken out loans for himself. She should have never taken out loans for him.
So she could easily have paid it off and charged him later without interest. IF she wasn’t so bad with money
I cosigned for my daughter's BMW, but that's okay it was a "church car".😂
I disagree with Dave here. The child should pay that back. The mom did not sign up for that loan thinking that she would be footing the bill at the end of the day. And whether the son/daughter was mature enough to “make that decision” is irrelevant. They are mature enough now to see the situation as it is. And despite the mother’s irresponsible behavior, she never would’ve taken out that loan had she not been swayed by her son/daughter to do so. The child is complicit in this. The child is benefiting from it. The child should pay it back.
Where are you getting that the mom was swayed by the child to take out the loan?
I'd first want to check to make sure the kid actually received all the money and it wasn't plundered by the parent. Still wouldn't put it under the kid's name though.
Great point
Yes that’s what I was thinking that’s probably where the church car came from haha
Mom took out the loan, Mom chose to not pay and let the interest and balance balloon up, it's all on Mom. Sounds like she's the kind of person that has no problem borrowing, but hates to pay for anything.
She also did it for his education and he now makes $140k per year. Its perfectly reasonable for her to expect help from her son.
Never get loans for your kids, especially if they are ungrateful like this person.
Her church car is probably the most expensive car she has.
I have never understood why parents feel they need to pay their childrens college / University, if they want to go then they pay / or student loans. its simple
Is a church car something like a weekend car? Like many people, I've got a sports car that I drive only in nice weather. Otherwise it stays in the garage. I love it but it would be foolish to use it as an everyday drive. Also, I can afford it and don't owe $100k in student loans.
You don't even have to be wealthy to have a weekend car, but if someone is worried about debt then they shouldn't have the second car
Depends what state. Insurance here is ridiculous
@@georgewagner7787 When my license got suspended for a year, it was still only 1,200 for the year. Probably look into a new provider, most dont care about giving you a deal endless its cutting someone else's deal
Christina is way, way off here making excuses for the so called 18-year old child here
Mature enough to make decisions on college, mature enough to start paying it off!
Why wouldn’t she have this conversation when the kid was in college when the loans were being taken out ? I’m lost
We called it a weekend car during good weather when I was growing up kids didn't eat in the car.
Mom is full of it
That woman’s manipulative. She’s not going to meet her kid in the middle - she wants it her way.
I'm confused. Why wouldn't he be responsible? I mean, it's his student loan.
Daughter: If you promised to pay back, you have to pay.
Tell mom good luck. And let her sell one of her cars
A church car?! lol!
First thing an inner city kid who makes it big does is to buy his mother a home. This child is ungrateful.
Good answer
ignore her. if she persists, suggest she sell her CHURCH car.
Dave lots of people have church cars. Every time I go to buy a used car most car lots have that car that was never driven except on Sunday morning to church by a little old lady.
I thought it was more of an old lady not going anywhere except church and grocery stores. Low mileage etc.
See I am $300k in debt because of my mother Parent PLUS loan, and I am going to pay back every penny of it because if it wasn't for them, I never would have been able to earn the awesome career I have! They knew full well they would never be able to pay that back, but they did it so I could make it. And I WILL pay it back PERIOD.
Take over, you make good money and it’s your school , legally it’s not yours but you make the money to take your college loan. Or at least pay them off directly have some way or access to put money directly into them and not your irresponsible mom. But you went to the college and it paid off you make good money take responsibility pay them off
No. If she wanted to help her as an NP she should've paid her way thru school so she'd have no loans. She had the money. Dave gave good advice . Some of these parents sabatoging their kids
Church car? Wow I’m in the wrong career 🤣🤣🤣
This mom sound financially irresponsible. However she's allowed to waste her money on luxury cars. This young man is only able to command 140k a year due to his education. He should pay the loan back or at least pay the principal plus the interest that's owed if the loan was paid consistently
There's no way the bank will ever take her off the loan, waste of breath.
18 year olds can die on Normandy but an 18 year old kid can’t be responsible for a student loan? GTFOH.
This scenario doesn't take any what ifs into consideration. I know someone who signed for a loan but didn't have internet. Asked the kid if they'd make good on the loan after college. Thought that was it. Please be understanding.
I don't see why he wouldn't pay it since he has a good paying job
It's not in his name, it's not his responsibility, and would be enabling his mom's terrible spending habits. I agree with Dave he should match her dollar for dollar but not take it all on
The issue for me is that she never made payments and allowed it to compound interest. He shouldn't be responsible for that
@@taram4414 exactly!
I would say no! Well, let me rephrase it. I would say hell no! Too bad your mom is in debt. It was her fault and you should not be responsible.
He can't take over for her. The contract for payment is in her name. They're not going to just change the name who is liable for it.
I want to know how much of that money (loan) wen toward her son?
I have zero sympathy for this person's mother. I help my parents with the Parent Plus loans that they took out for me, but they never once guilted me into it.
Stop paying for college
If you want to pay for it for your mom fine, however under no circumstances are you taking that debt into your name
Mom overextended to help her daughter. Daughter now makes great money. It’s complicated.
Since this son wasn't aware of Mom's after-the -fact retractive decision, he could tell her that when she' paid off all but the original loan amount (@ 5%-6% 100k seems like an initial 56k-60k) which this son could begin to accrue in a separate account. If she decides to radically change and in 10 years, pays it down, he would be able to pay the original amount he was misled to think he owed, say 50K, with his income growth and his conscience would be clear.
Got an idea. Let everyone pay for their own college. The mistake was paying for your college.
A luxury car for church?? Now I've heard it all. LOL
I would never talk to my mom like that. This conversation, as suggested is so disrespectful. He can present his case without dripping condescension and contempt for his mother.
I think he's explaining how stupid the scenario is and where she went wrong. Opposed to giving said caller a script to read.
🤨
If my mom was this idiotic I wouldn’t be nearly as nice as Dave suggested. She deserves a good talking down.
Someone makes stupid decisions you don't coddle them, his approach to the conversation was spot on. How disrespectful it is for the mother to assume the debt should just be passed on when they are swimming in debt and obviously terrible at finances in general shows they deserve no respect when it comes to this conversation.
@Timmy Tran that's not her name Timmy Chan's
Mom should sell the church car and use the money to start paying off this loan.
Don’t pay it. Don’t reward bad decisions.
the mom shouldve said no upfront and never taken out the loan. Even if she wanted to go to the college as the mother they shouldve found another way.