@@tonypalombinijr2946 Yes. Because people like this can't comprehend the idea of working and saving. They see any money as a windfall. So of course you should share your windfall with others.
@@thomasmazsa606 Why? So she can run up her debt again? And go running to him when she's almost bankrupt? That's not fair. You don't just suddenly owe 50K out of nowhere either. This lady is irresponsible and its not being generous to give her money, its being an enabler for her bad behaviour.
@@leamubiuThat's nothing special since he's single and probably doesn't buy unnecessary stuff. I would also do a maternity test to see if he really is his mother's son.
@@CoffeenSpice My point was that John was asking about the origin of that money, not the fact that caller was holding onto it. Caller first “misremembered” his mother’s age, and answered so vaguely to this one question -I’m saying that lack of transparency is running in the family now.
Lol. Like the bank is transparent. Everything they do is fraud. The whole thing was fraud from the get go. They never gave her a "loan" they took her SS# and they pulled the money from her ss# fiction/Corporation mortiman master account. Then they slid her a promissory note across the table and said, sign here etc. They never gave her anything of value for something of value. They didn't even give her a check to endorse and cash. There wasn't even a reciept. There were no coins or currency exchanged in the transaction. They didn't even do business with her. They did the business with the fiction ( the all caps name ) they certainly never disclosed to her they were going to sell her note bundle it and turn it into bonds and sell those on the international markets. Depriving her of interest and dividends that are in her name. All while acting as her trustee and fudiciary. It's all fraud by concealment. Since they didn't disclose it, then the contract was void from the start.
The banks don't have any money. They only take deposits, which allow them to contact the FR, and then the FR creates 9 times on that deposit. They steal from your unsecured ss# master/mortiman/Cesti que vi trust account, and then they contact the FR, and they issue the bank 9times on that amount. Can you SEE the fraud! Then they pretend like they gave you the loan from their pocket. Then they send the letter of credit you signed to the FRB for collateral, and then the FRB gives them the money to pay the seller. They sell the note, and it gets bundled and made into bonds and traded into the international markets. There is no debt. There hasn't been since 1933. I'm pretty sure Ole Dave is aware of this, but he is probably being paid by the banksters. But what isn't a bank out here!
Disgraceful that a MOTHER would sacrifice her own SON to save her irresponsible a$$. My heart breaks for this loving Son. She doesn’t DESERVE a Son like him
@@chipm2544 Exactly. Unless he has a spare 50K lying around that he won’t “miss” he needs to steer clear! I know that sometimes Parents need help, but she’s clearly taking advantage of her son…pretty disgraceful for a Mother to do that. It’s 50K not 50 bucks. Sad.
I dont blame her too much bcz some mothers are great mothers but AWEful with these money topics. I have known moms like this. 5 star moms. 1 star with money and worse, wont listen.
@@fdllicks Five star moms don’t rely on their kids to bail them out for their REPEATED mistakes…that not a Mother…that’s a leech sucking off the hard work of her children. There are individuals who fall on hard times because of unforeseen circumstances…then there are those who CREATE the problems.
As a mom, Id sell that house and find an apartment before i EVER asked my son for 50k that he worked so hard for. This is bad behavior or mental illness that she thinks this is ok.
@@nikkisigmon8090he’s her son-husband. Single mother epidemic. They use their kids as their retirement. Disgusting. He’s 25 and thinks it’s ok to bankrupt her son. What a pos. Sorry
$50k is the vast majority of everything he's made since he started working, it has to be. The fact that he's saved all that speaks VOLUMES to how responsible he is. Having all of that taken away in an instant is terrible.
I am 63 and my 85 yr old mother lives with me. She pays $600 rent to me which includes utilities, I tried to tell her she could live free but she won't do that. When i have to quit my job to take care of her at home we have agreed she will pay me instead of the assisted living facilities. I will then take social security at that time and my brother will sit with her for the 6 shifts a month I work as a nurse. It will be the best possible options for her, myself and brothers helping out. Im so grateful for my family.
My father is widowed, 72 years old, and lives with us. He pays for heat and utilities. We provide him a home where he never has to shovel, mow, laundry, clean, or cook. I am almost positive this caller’s mother is either Filipino or south/Central American. This is what those cultures typically do - make their adult children into cash-cows. (Hold the triggers, I’m brown)
Oh my God, I have not gotten that far in this video. It'd be one thing if he had a couple hundred grand but that's all he has and that's what she wants all of it. What kind of mother does that?
She's a bum with limited cognitive bandwidth. She needs to sell the house and live in a tent not ask her son for $50k. She will abuse when when/if he says no. But if he lends her the 50 he's a codependent bonehead.
That’s not his responsibility & he shouldn’t use his 50k to help her. She needs to get a job & move into an apartment. Also his mother shouldn’t even know he has 50k saved up if you ask me.
If the guy lend his mother the money he will lose 50k and her mother eventually would lose the house anyways, that is a horrible situation with no easy answer.
@@76tfdtr4r5 no easy answer, the mom is refusing to sell and if for a miracle the son manages to convince her there is no way that she gives the money to him, you are right however on that mommy dearest plan is go on early retirement paid by the son/ATM.
@@ang9968No. it costs too much in interest rate for a personal loan *and* SHE CAN’T PAY IT BACK BECAUSE SHE’S NOT WORKING. I am sorry she’s in that situation, but it sounds like she couldn’t afford a house in the first place. She needs to move to somewhere SHE, not the son, can afford.
I don't necessarily agree with that. A family living in poverty should be a team focusing on bringing in needed resources to keep the family afloat. A family in that kind of situation needs to be focused on survival in turn, not stupid luxuries or other foolishness. Similarly, parents who have sacrificed their lives to nurture and provide for their family may need to be cared for by the children in turn. That kind of thing is relatively rare in our incredibly wealthy society, but it used to be pretty much the rule among many families. The novel "The Good Earth" by Pearl S Buck begins by illustrating such a family.
That alone eliminates any stupid idea this boy has of ever helping or caring about this UNEMPLOYED,LAZY,PARASITIC, DISRESPECTFUL ENTITLED woman EVER!!!. She can't get anymore money from the bank cause she's got no job or income. Is this boy the only one in the family she's panhandling? Where is this boy's father?
I was 56 and I retired Then soon after my landlord said she was gonna double my rent. One of my first thoughts was “I don’t want to be a burden to my daughter and I need to get real serious.” So I moved to Texas and bought a home cash for $23k. So blessed.
His mom needs to understand that she is basically asking for his future. He’s done good and saved and he can start a home with a wife but his mom wants to take it away due to her irresponsibility. Nah bro hard pass.
Mom doesn’t need to understand anything. All mom needs to understand is she’s been irresponsible and stubborn and it’s time to grow up. A simple “no” from the son will suffice.
They needed to make it clear to him that he needs to make it clear to her, that it is unfair for her to take his life savings if she doesnt want to work.
Exactly. Only 25 years old and he's managed to accrue that much?! And that's "all he has" too? No, that's just not right. Clearly this young man is doing absolutely everything right (more than many more of us "established" adults are) and I find it hard to fathom being a parent who wants to take advantage of having a child that turned out to be more responsible than them. And you could hear it in Dave's voice, too. He's usually more "vocal" with his objections but he came across as being more of a concerned father than anything else on this one. He's on an amazing start to his life and no one, not even family, should make him feel as if he's obligated to be set back because of their mistakes.
I'm with Dave on this one: what parent would ask this of their own child? I could understand some life-threatening incident (even though I'd probably just go to sleep in Jesus before asking this amount from them), but putting this burden on your child over a house? Yeah...I'll pass.
A few years ago my elderly father asked me for a loan to put a new roof on his small home. I said Dad, I will just give you the money. But he refused and insisted on paying me back. He is deceased now and I am so glad I was blessed with a loving father that was proud and a model of decency and integrity. Miss you dad!
Dave: "Not your job, honey." That was so sweet. I'm sure that young man has been the parent in the relationship with his mother his entire life. Nice of Dave to be so paternal toward him.
Had something similar happen. Mom didn't contribute a dime to college or living expenses. The second I had a real job after college guess who comes calling? It gets worse though. When my sister and I wouldn't pay her rent, our mom called our places of work to let them know "they had a problem on their hands". Now you see why its important to never discuss money. But if you don't discuss money with kids, then you make stupid decisions when you're young. I really think this is why poverty is multi-generational.
Wow. That’s pitiful that she called all your jobs. Good lesson for everyone then, If your parent is a flake, don’t let them know where you are working.
"Mom didn't contribute a dime to college or living expenses"...best thing about that? you owe your Mom or sister NOTHING. Your mom supported you (likely) through age 18, which is her legal obligation...she did the bare minimum, and she can't guilt you later with "I paid for your college, why can't you help your sister?"
@@aeroeng22 no..we were wards of the state starting in high school after her second divorce. Deep hatred for both parents, lots of relationship issues now. Still get enough support from others to make living worthwhile
Just sad to hear stories like this where parents are irresponsible to the point where they have to depend on their adult kids, who are just starting out in life. There are probably other debts besides the HELOC. The mom needs to face the consequences and sell the house.
I would also like to know the history of the ownership of this house. Did mom acquire the family home as the result of divorce? Assuming that's the case, I might argue that she got it as a means of housing the children after the divorce. Pesumably, the children are now grown and out of the house, so there is eally no need for the house any longer. If there ae minor children still in the family, some discussion of how to raise those children to maturity would be in order. Perhaps they should live with their brother or father rather than the mother....
If i was a millionaire, I’d give her the money, not loan it, but would request she complete a financial literacy course (that i paid for) as my payment
He's responsible and saved from a young age, as he played the parental role his whole life I'm 100% sure of it, and his mum is going to put on the fake tears to try and manipulate.
There is a very large chance that the Mom does not have the other $40k and the caller would not only not ever get his money back, but the loan would not even get paid off.
Yeah, it makes no sense that he confused his mother’s age from 39 to 44. This man (yes, he’s a man), has a lot of trauma. My guess is that he was raised by his grandparents and his mother is more of an older sister. His response to the question of why she isn’t working said it all. You can tell she’s been a headache for him all his life.
@@williebori i might be wrong, but his affect is exactly like my sons. He is on the spectrum, aspergers. It just makes me sick. She is supposed to protect him and teach him how to avoid these very obstacles in life. Apsies tend to be logical, so he will learn. Its just sad its his own mother betraying him.
My heart goes out to this young man. It's not fair what his mother is asking of him. I pray he gets a good support system like at a church which understands this situation rightly and that he says "no" to her. She needs to grow up. God bless you, young man.
when are people going to learn, no matter if it's close family or random stranger NO is an okay word to use. NO is a good word. NO is a wonderful word. NO is a verb. NO is a noun. NO is an adjective. NO is a doing word. NO is my bottom line. NO is a safe word. NO is a freeing word. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO is a happy word. Sometimes you have to let people fall, sometimes you have to let people fail. Sometimes you have to let stupid hurt.
This guy needs to understand that she has no way to pay him back. She will be in the same spot again in a year or so but he won’t be able to “help”. She needs to sell and get real with life.
His first mistake was allowing his mother to know about his personal finances. Her knowing he has $50k has allowed her to manufacture a situation so she can take it from him.
My father simply would not accept any situation that made him feel that he might burden his children. I feel the same way. I won't take from my children. Ever.
I think she figured her son would just bail her out. He would never get that money back. I wouldn’t do that. Also, she shouldn’t even know he has $50k. I also wouldn’t let her live with me either. She is old enough to fix this. She just wants to take the easiest way out of it
@Tracey Hill oh my gosh this is so right. Whenever we have a new car or go to a short trip vacation, I really don't want to tell my in laws. I don't feel they are happy for us, they are disgusting why we have more than them, and MIL acts up and demands stuffs for her, then SIL wants him to pay for her kids. Just sad! My husband always tells them, and I hate that.
I could never feel comfortable asking any of my children for this amount of money, heck any at all if I don't have to. It's his whole life savings she's asking for... Don't do it son. If she really loves you, she'd understand why it's a no. You ARE NOT her husband.
Single mother move. Son/husband. They expect their kids to fund them when they get older. She’s 49 and not working. This is disgusting to even ask never mind bankrupt your son.
Shame on that mother. That young man is about to kill it financially. $50k in hand at 25 is a total game changer long term. For her to want to rob him of financially security is very telling of her character.
My mother had a life long history of bad decision making. I helped her from time to time, but she also insisted on having a menagerie of pets. I couldnt blindly enable that, but she couldnt afford them, refused to change her ways, didnt maintain the property and ultimately lost her home. As she was declining mentally, i would have ended up having to resolve her mortgage (stopped paying taxes), institute a lot of repairs, and still have to deal with all thecats and dogs. Just couldn't do it.
She's his mother; he is her son. Often you will have parents using the emotion blackmail, like "I raised you up, paid for your education, nappies, and food. I just want to borrow $50K and you are telling me you wont lend it to me? You once lived in this place? Where am I going to live? Should I move into your house?"
@lobinhanovelinhas6709 - Exactly, she's only 44. Son didn't mention a thing about any disability that would keep her from working. He told Dave, "That's a good question" as to why she WASN'T working.
Is it selfish? In reality she probably did have her son at 14. She’s 39 and he’s 25. Should we force anybody to have a child at that age. Some people are pro life. I’m a conservative but I say hold on to situations like this. It’s her choice in this case but she has to try and understand the meaning of going though with having a child at such a young age. She can’t fall into victim mentality. Nobody should push it on her. Sure it’s not her fault but at some point she has to over come this hurdle otherwise look at the consequences. The son didn’t say how he earned the money to save 50k either. Selling drugs? Let’s hope not. Mom has to find a job. Then they can renegotiate the balloon payment. If not then sell the house.
My mother did something similar. She wanted myself and my sister to take care of her. We let the house go since she never repaired things sufficiently and could not afford the payments and we couldn't pay her mortgage and our own . . . or just didn't want to in order to save for our own future. She stopped working and didn't want to work. So she is now in an apartment.
NOPE, self preservation, because the 50K won't be the end of it!! I'd say she needs to get herself a job or three ASAP!! She sounds lazy and I think she thinks her son is about to support her for the rest of her years!
She can refinance the balloon if she had a job, but banks wouldn’t even lend to her anymore which should tell you something about loaning her money. Don’t get rid of your savings, that’s your safety net, my husband had to go to the hospital & we were fine because we have a savings. We are able to invest and buy a car in cash because we had our little starter egg. This $50k is the beginning for him and it’s a cruel ask of the mom.
I let my in-laws lose their house! Maybe it’s wrong, but that’s their issue. Then they came and lived with us and I had to put them out. My FIL gets 4 grand a month and saved nothing the whole year they were there! Now they’re disowning us, so problem solved 😂
25, and this kid has saved $50k?! And his own mother wants to take his money?! This is heartbreaking and I can't believe that she would even consider this, much less ask. No!
I read this in the comments section of another Dave Ramsey video regarding family borrowing money: "You can't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm." Really stuck with me.
Oh that poor kid. I have kids around his age and I can't imagine wanting all their savings. That's rock bottom to even consider that an option. It's better to sell the house.
Yes, scenarios make this makes it seem like they have a problem with addiction or mental illness. He said she definitely doesn't want to sell the house but won't even work a little bit.
Don’t even have to feel bad about cutting Mom off on this one. She’s a secretive liar but it’s not like she’s 80 and has no chance to turn it around. Time for the 39 year old to get a job and rent an apartment.
That fact that she would knowingly ask him for his entire life savings without a hint of a repayment plan speaks volumes of how selfish and careless she is. I'm just dumb founded by this call smh
Adam, don't do it! You're a good son and don't let her pressure you into it! She will be back at square one in a few months and you will have lost all your savings! Don't do it! She has options!!
And he should make sure she's not on his bank account from when he was a minor, or when he says no she'll just go to the bank and draw it out and walk away with it
If he gives her that money, he’ll never see a red cent of it. She’ll never pay it back. His mother is extremely selfish and should be ashamed of herself 😠
My single most important objective in retirement is to NEVER have to ask my children for help (besides watering my plants and filling my bird feeders). Oh yeah, it technically would be fun for them to have them benefit NOW from the inheritance they likely get when I finally croak, but doing that I take the risk that I mentioned above, needing help. I started with NOTHING and built up what I have now, and have no guilt in expecting my children to do the same: be self sufficient.
My dad is living on his SS and is only making it because he is living with my brother and his wife. Fortunately my three brothers and I have been better at planning for retirement and will not be in the same situation. They had money when they retired, 300k in a 401 but my mother who passed a couple of years ago made alot of bad decisions and the money is gone. My dad has never been been able to control her spending habits.
"My dad has never been been able to control her spending habits." . I've always wondered about statements like that. If I were married to a woman and she spent recklessly and refused to be responsible, then what I'd is open a separate bank account that she neither knows about nor has any access to, and all the income and savings would go into that account. From there, I would take out CASH to give to her to cover the areas of shopping for groceries, clothing, etc. When the monthly cash allotment is gone, the shopping is done. That's the only way to fix chronic overspending. . It's our job, as men, to lead our family well. I don't get the sense that he was a leader, but rather was an enabler.
What an amazing young man. This woman does not deserve a son like him. I REALLY hope he doesn’t give her his money. Her mess of a life that she chose to create is NOT his fault or problem. She’s completely taking advantage of his beautiful heart and that is NOT okay. Ugh…this one broke my heart. Poor kid.
My mother asked for the mortgage payment one month. That must have killed her. I didn't think much of it since she paid my rent early on. Later she raided an account she set up after my dad died. From then on, I kept money separate from family.
I'm shocked to find people here who think he should just give his mum the money! Beyond delusional. His mum put herself in this situation, she's an adult FFS.
I like how Dave spun it around on the caller if he had a little boy and he asked him for money!! Great teaching moment I think this did it for the caller great job Dave 👏
People with no money have a knack for sniffing out other people's money, and creating "emergencies" to extract that money.
Doug F you are SO right. I've seen that happen more than once for sure.
Yep
Yeap. It’s yours but they think it’s theirs
And then getting mad if you don’t give them what they want.
@@tonypalombinijr2946 Yes. Because people like this can't comprehend the idea of working and saving. They see any money as a windfall. So of course you should share your windfall with others.
How can he “lend” her something she has no ability to pay back? She can’t afford a house.
Exactly; this isn't "lending" anything. He better be ready to lose all 50k of it.
Mixing money and family never goes well. I wouldn't do it.
she is crazy
Never lend anything you can't afford to give. You can let them call it that but you have to think of it as a gift
Doesn’t make sense to help someone who is not responsible whatsoever
He didn’t know his mothers age? Me thinks something is fishy here!🤔
If he “loans” his mom the 50k he will NEVER see that money again.
She owes a total of 290k on a 300k house. There is not even any equity in the house.
And then the son will be in really bad shape later
What happened to being generous?
@@thomasmazsa606 Why? So she can run up her debt again? And go running to him when she's almost bankrupt? That's not fair. You don't just suddenly owe 50K out of nowhere either. This lady is irresponsible and its not being generous to give her money, its being an enabler for her bad behaviour.
@@crd9551 give like no one else😁
He saves his money religiously because he saw what a horrible example his own mother is by not being smart with it😂
💯 agree
Basically me lol. My whole financial life is thanks to learning from my mothers mistakes. Gotta get something good out of it.
I think it's more about not seeing his dad responsible for him, she can't be the savior and the devil, thank God he passes out grace....
I Have tried to learn as much as possible by watching other's good and bad decisions .
Good observation
_"She hasn't shared all the information or been transparent"_
You can stop right there.
Boy is cagey as well.
John: “How did you make 50K at 25?”
Boy: “Saving it.”
🙄
@@leamubiuThat's nothing special since he's single and probably doesn't buy unnecessary stuff. I would also do a maternity test to see if he really is his mother's son.
@@CoffeenSpice My point was that John was asking about the origin of that money, not the fact that caller was holding onto it. Caller first “misremembered” his mother’s age, and answered so vaguely to this one question -I’m saying that lack of transparency is running in the family now.
Lol. Like the bank is transparent. Everything they do is fraud. The whole thing was fraud from the get go. They never gave her a "loan" they took her SS# and they pulled the money from her ss# fiction/Corporation mortiman master account. Then they slid her a promissory note across the table and said, sign here etc. They never gave her anything of value for something of value. They didn't even give her a check to endorse and cash. There wasn't even a reciept. There were no coins or currency exchanged in the transaction. They didn't even do business with her. They did the business with the fiction ( the all caps name ) they certainly never disclosed to her they were going to sell her note bundle it and turn it into bonds and sell those on the international markets. Depriving her of interest and dividends that are in her name. All while acting as her trustee and fudiciary. It's all fraud by concealment. Since they didn't disclose it, then the contract was void from the start.
The banks don't have any money. They only take deposits, which allow them to contact the FR, and then the FR creates 9 times on that deposit. They steal from your unsecured ss# master/mortiman/Cesti que vi trust account, and then they contact the FR, and they issue the bank 9times on that amount. Can you SEE the fraud! Then they pretend like they gave you the loan from their pocket. Then they send the letter of credit you signed to the FRB for collateral, and then the FRB gives them the money to pay the seller. They sell the note, and it gets bundled and made into bonds and traded into the international markets. There is no debt. There hasn't been since 1933. I'm pretty sure Ole Dave is aware of this, but he is probably being paid by the banksters. But what isn't a bank out here!
Disgraceful that a MOTHER would sacrifice her own SON to save her irresponsible a$$. My heart breaks for this loving Son. She doesn’t DESERVE a Son like him
Even if she goes to the bank I would not sign as collateral.
@@chipm2544 Exactly. Unless he has a spare 50K lying around that he won’t “miss” he needs to steer clear! I know that sometimes Parents need help, but she’s clearly taking advantage of her son…pretty disgraceful for a Mother to do that. It’s 50K not 50 bucks. Sad.
I dont blame her too much bcz some mothers are great mothers but AWEful with these money topics. I have known moms like this. 5 star moms. 1 star with money and worse, wont listen.
@@fdllicks Five star moms don’t rely on their kids to bail them out for their REPEATED mistakes…that not a Mother…that’s a leech sucking off the hard work of her children. There are individuals who fall on hard times because of unforeseen circumstances…then there are those who CREATE the problems.
@@lizzieb6311 listen to the son. Polite, smart, respectful. She raised a great son. Great mother, aweful with money.
It sounds like she took out that heloc quit her job and lived off of that HELOC money and now the chickens have come home to roost
bingo!
Exactly 😮
@@Austenfan177 Obviously, she's a strong independent woman who don't need no man. 🤪
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Or she lost her job and decided to live off the HELOC.
As a mom, Id sell that house and find an apartment before i EVER asked my son for 50k that he worked so hard for. This is bad behavior or mental illness that she thinks this is ok.
It's selfishness and short view mindset
@@nikkisigmon8090he’s her son-husband. Single mother epidemic. They use their kids as their retirement. Disgusting. He’s 25 and thinks it’s ok to bankrupt her son. What a pos. Sorry
And she will likely lose the house down the line since she’s not working. She better go drive Uber
My neighbor lost his home in a foreclosure of $9000
Forget the apartment. Live in a vehicle. If shes a single person she can fit herself and the stuff she needs to survive in an suv.
$50k is the vast majority of everything he's made since he started working, it has to be. The fact that he's saved all that speaks VOLUMES to how responsible he is.
Having all of that taken away in an instant is terrible.
I hope he listens to Dave
He was parentified....and hes her retirement plan
@@ConstructionHoney Well-said! Most adult decisions are condition-based rather than based on intelligence and common-sense.
His mom knows exactly how much he got in savings
@@bettinaorevil5056 After a certain stage, it's best not to tell anyone if you are into money, especially close family members.
I am 63 and my 85 yr old mother lives with me. She pays $600 rent to me which includes utilities, I tried to tell her she could live free but she won't do that. When i have to quit my job to take care of her at home we have agreed she will pay me instead of the assisted living facilities. I will then take social security at that time and my brother will sit with her for the 6 shifts a month I work as a nurse. It will be the best possible options for her, myself and brothers helping out. Im so grateful for my family.
My father is widowed, 72 years old, and lives with us. He pays for heat and utilities. We provide him a home where he never has to shovel, mow, laundry, clean, or cook. I am almost positive this caller’s mother is either Filipino or south/Central American. This is what those cultures typically do - make their adult children into cash-cows. (Hold the triggers, I’m brown)
How blessed she is to have you both ❤️ 💓
@@katiejon17 I don't get what being "brown" means? You'd better hope KARMA skips you when you can no longer care for yourself.
Bless you and your family.
He said it. She asked him for $50K because she knows that’s all he has.
Oh my God, I have not gotten that far in this video. It'd be one thing if he had a couple hundred grand but that's all he has and that's what she wants all of it. What kind of mother does that?
She's a bum with limited cognitive bandwidth. She needs to sell the house and live in a tent not ask her son for $50k. She will abuse when when/if he says no. But if he lends her the 50 he's a codependent bonehead.
That’s not his responsibility & he shouldn’t use his 50k to help her. She needs to get a job & move into an apartment. Also his mother shouldn’t even know he has 50k saved up if you ask me.
Mama is gonna live with him she got no job
Very coincidental shes asking for the exact amount he has
Well, he obviously told her what he had. That’s the first mistake, don’t tell family or friends you have money.
He should tell her he HAD $50k but lost it at the track! 🤭
And I doubt he sees it as his responsibility, but but think about that, it's his mother what an awful position to be put in
If the guy lend his mother the money he will lose 50k and her mother eventually would lose the house anyways, that is a horrible situation with no easy answer.
@@76tfdtr4r5 no easy answer, the mom is refusing to sell and if for a miracle the son manages to convince her there is no way that she gives the money to him, you are right however on that mommy dearest plan is go on early retirement paid by the son/ATM.
@@76tfdtr4r5 keyword "shouldnt", for many familias there Is a wide gap between what should be and what actually happens
@@76tfdtr4r5 Interesting answer, you had anger management issues uh? Bye
Sell it or go to the bank and get a personal loan ( at lower interest rate ) and use the house as collateral.
@@ang9968No. it costs too much in interest rate for a personal loan *and* SHE CAN’T PAY IT BACK BECAUSE SHE’S NOT WORKING. I am sorry she’s in that situation, but it sounds like she couldn’t afford a house in the first place. She needs to move to somewhere SHE, not the son, can afford.
Money should flow down generations, not up.
Beautiful statement
For real
Yes!
I don't necessarily agree with that.
A family living in poverty should be a team focusing on bringing in needed resources to keep the family afloat. A family in that kind of situation needs to be focused on survival in turn, not stupid luxuries or other foolishness.
Similarly, parents who have sacrificed their lives to nurture and provide for their family may need to be cared for by the children in turn.
That kind of thing is relatively rare in our incredibly wealthy society, but it used to be pretty much the rule among many families.
The novel "The Good Earth" by Pearl S Buck begins by illustrating such a family.
Yes. True
Theres a fine line between helping and enabling.
I screamed a quiet scream when he said she doesn't work.
I'm so confused
That alone eliminates any stupid idea this boy has of ever helping or caring about this UNEMPLOYED,LAZY,PARASITIC, DISRESPECTFUL ENTITLED woman EVER!!!. She can't get anymore money from the bank cause she's got no job or income. Is this boy the only one in the family she's panhandling? Where is this boy's father?
Never let anyone know how much money you have. Because, a whole lot of people are going to want some of it when they find out.
I agree 👍
Another way of saying for every dollar you have there are a hundred people out there trying to take it from you!
Exactly
Always downplay your finances.
Just say no..
His own money is burning a hole in her pocket.
😂
Why does she know you have money? Never ever tell anyone you have money.
D Storm you are 100% right
exactly right never tell family you have money
Yep. When my family members ask me where I'm working at and how much I get paid, I just tell them I don't have a job. Lol.
So true! Amen
I’m bad. I tell my family and friends how much I have. I’m learning
I was 56 and I retired
Then soon after my landlord said she was gonna double my rent.
One of my first thoughts was
“I don’t want to be a burden to my daughter and I need to get real serious.”
So I moved to Texas and bought a home cash for $23k. So blessed.
Good hustle.
a house for 23k?!
that sounds amazing
Nowadays you cannot find anything at that price.
@@nohemivasquez4909
You can, but it's probably going to be in a rural area down South, or in the Mid West.
That's amazing!
His mom needs to understand that she is basically asking for his future. He’s done good and saved and he can start a home with a wife but his mom wants to take it away due to her irresponsibility. Nah bro hard pass.
Mom doesn’t need to understand anything. All mom needs to understand is she’s been irresponsible and stubborn and it’s time to grow up. A simple “no” from the son will suffice.
I’ll do it but Iget the house. Got me F’d up
Exactly!
They needed to make it clear to him that he needs to make it clear to her, that it is unfair for her to take his life savings if she doesnt want to work.
I hope this guy doesn't throw away all that hardwork he has put in
Exactly. Only 25 years old and he's managed to accrue that much?! And that's "all he has" too? No, that's just not right. Clearly this young man is doing absolutely everything right (more than many more of us "established" adults are) and I find it hard to fathom being a parent who wants to take advantage of having a child that turned out to be more responsible than them.
And you could hear it in Dave's voice, too. He's usually more "vocal" with his objections but he came across as being more of a concerned father than anything else on this one. He's on an amazing start to his life and no one, not even family, should make him feel as if he's obligated to be set back because of their mistakes.
I'm with Dave on this one: what parent would ask this of their own child? I could understand some life-threatening incident (even though I'd probably just go to sleep in Jesus before asking this amount from them), but putting this burden on your child over a house? Yeah...I'll pass.
A few years ago my elderly father asked me for a loan to put a new roof on his small home. I said Dad, I will just give you the money. But he refused and insisted on paying me back. He is deceased now and I am so glad I was blessed with a loving father that was proud and a model of decency and integrity. Miss you dad!
❤
Dave: "Not your job, honey." That was so sweet. I'm sure that young man has been the parent in the relationship with his mother his entire life. Nice of Dave to be so paternal toward him.
I've done plenty of irresponsible things in my day, but I could never put myself in this women's scenario of asking my own son for 50k.
She needs to sell house and pay off her own debts
Had something similar happen. Mom didn't contribute a dime to college or living expenses. The second I had a real job after college guess who comes calling? It gets worse though. When my sister and I wouldn't pay her rent, our mom called our places of work to let them know "they had a problem on their hands". Now you see why its important to never discuss money. But if you don't discuss money with kids, then you make stupid decisions when you're young. I really think this is why poverty is multi-generational.
Wow. That’s pitiful that she called all your jobs.
Good lesson for everyone then,
If your parent is a flake, don’t let them know where you are working.
@@CarnivoreStork they dont even know where I live now 😁
Wow ! She called your jobs .that's low
"Mom didn't contribute a dime to college or living expenses"...best thing about that? you owe your Mom or sister NOTHING. Your mom supported you (likely) through age 18, which is her legal obligation...she did the bare minimum, and she can't guilt you later with "I paid for your college, why can't you help your sister?"
@@aeroeng22 no..we were wards of the state starting in high school after her second divorce. Deep hatred for both parents, lots of relationship issues now. Still get enough support from others to make living worthwhile
What an impressive young man, 50k at 25!!
Dr. D tried to be nosy 😂
Just sad to hear stories like this where parents are irresponsible to the point where they have to depend on their adult kids, who are just starting out in life. There are probably other debts besides the HELOC. The mom needs to face the consequences and sell the house.
absolutely
And get a job and drive for Uber on the side.
As a " kid " of a mother like this ,they don't care . They figure it's our problem.
I would also like to know the history of the ownership of this house.
Did mom acquire the family home as the result of divorce?
Assuming that's the case, I might argue that she got it as a means of housing the children after the divorce. Pesumably, the children are now grown and out of the house, so there is eally no need for the house any longer.
If there ae minor children still in the family, some discussion of how to raise those children to maturity would be in order.
Perhaps they should live with their brother or father rather than the mother....
3:50
"What state is she in?"
"A state of denial."
... missed a great opportunity for a joke there!
If i was a millionaire, I’d give her the money, not loan it, but would request she complete a financial literacy course (that i paid for) as my payment
She would just rack up a bigger bill if you gave it to her and expect the next larger problem to be fixed by you too
Like Dave says people have the knowledge but behavior is what makes the difference.
I feel sorry for him. That's a good son. Can't say the same about the lazy mom.
She will guilt him into it .
So much weird about this story. Classic case of a "son-husband".
"son-$$$"
Yes!
Don’t do it guys
Agreed
He's responsible and saved from a young age, as he played the parental role his whole life I'm 100% sure of it, and his mum is going to put on the fake tears to try and manipulate.
She most definitely will manipulate and guilt him
If she can't pay the bank then she can't pay you anything back. Tell her no and keep it moving.
Dave calling a 25 year old "honey" cracks me up. Love the advice you guys give, keep it up.
It's a general term of endearment/sympathy/concern used from our generation of boomers.
There is a very large chance that the Mom does not have the other $40k and the caller would not only not ever get his money back, but the loan would not even get paid off.
She had him at 14, but when he realized he was gonna hear the same speech he heard all his life he decided to tell his back up lie.
I thought the same thing
Yeah, it makes no sense that he confused his mother’s age from 39 to 44.
This man (yes, he’s a man), has a lot of trauma. My guess is that he was raised by his grandparents and his mother is more of an older sister. His response to the question of why she isn’t working said it all. You can tell she’s been a headache for him all his life.
I doubt it. He probably forgot and someone in the background corrected him
@@williebori i might be wrong, but his affect is exactly like my sons. He is on the spectrum, aspergers. It just makes me sick. She is supposed to protect him and teach him how to avoid these very obstacles in life. Apsies tend to be logical, so he will learn. Its just sad its his own mother betraying him.
This
My heart goes out to this young man. It's not fair what his mother is asking of him. I pray he gets a good support system like at a church which understands this situation rightly and that he says "no" to her. She needs to grow up. God bless you, young man.
One reason you never let family members know how much money you have.
when are people going to learn, no matter if it's close family or random stranger NO is an okay word to use. NO is a good word. NO is a wonderful word. NO is a verb. NO is a noun. NO is an adjective. NO is a doing word. NO is my bottom line. NO is a safe word. NO is a freeing word. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO is a happy word. Sometimes you have to let people fall, sometimes you have to let people fail. Sometimes you have to let stupid hurt.
And when you tell someone no, you don't owe them an explanation why you said no.
No is a full sentence.
@@bee12355 that to
This guy needs to understand that she has no way to pay him back. She will be in the same spot again in a year or so but he won’t be able to “help”. She needs to sell and get real with life.
His first mistake was allowing his mother to know about his personal finances.
Her knowing he has $50k has allowed her to manufacture a situation so she can take it from him.
As a Mom, this call INFURIATES me!
Dave's pause when he said 39 and 25 - YIKES
That would show you her life decisions have always been this way
😂
Yeah I barely know my parents ages either
@@Sevkingblade that's not good,,smh
Gotta admit I had the same reaction.
If she's not even working, hard pass.
My father simply would not accept any situation that made him feel that he might burden his children. I feel the same way. I won't take from my children. Ever.
Great mindset!
I think she figured her son would just bail her out. He would never get that money back. I wouldn’t do that. Also, she shouldn’t even know he has $50k. I also wouldn’t let her live with me either. She is old enough to fix this. She just wants to take the easiest way out of it
Sadly he can never trust his mother about his own money and his successes.
I just hope her name isn't on his bank account!!
Right! When you're successful, normally you want to let your parents know and make them proud. Instead of being proud she's taking advantage
@Tracey Hill oh my gosh this is so right. Whenever we have a new car or go to a short trip vacation, I really don't want to tell my in laws. I don't feel they are happy for us, they are disgusting why we have more than them, and MIL acts up and demands stuffs for her, then SIL wants him to pay for her kids. Just sad! My husband always tells them, and I hate that.
We hide everything from my MiL for this reason. It’s so awful we can’t share how well we are doing
I could never feel comfortable asking any of my children for this amount of money, heck any at all if I don't have to. It's his whole life savings she's asking for... Don't do it son. If she really loves you, she'd understand why it's a no. You ARE NOT her husband.
Single mother move. Son/husband. They expect their kids to fund them when they get older. She’s 49 and not working. This is disgusting to even ask never mind bankrupt your son.
Lol my dad went through something similar and took £10k from me when i was 21 and im 23 still asking for it back 🤣🤣🤣
You will not get that money back. And he will get angry if you ask him for it
My dad was a flake too.
At his (64) funeral 300 people showed up.
Pretty sure he owed money to each one of them.
Lost 23k when I was 20.. saved it for college and he took it and promised to give it back. I’m 35 now.. never saw it again, not a cent.
Dave did well with this caller. Tough love!
Shame on that mother. That young man is about to kill it financially. $50k in hand at 25 is a total game changer long term. For her to want to rob him of financially security is very telling of her character.
She knew this would happen and should have prepared in advance for it. Irresponsible to ask to be saved from yourself.
My mother had a life long history of bad decision making.
I helped her from time to time, but she also insisted on having a menagerie of pets. I couldnt blindly enable that, but she couldnt afford them, refused to change her ways, didnt maintain the property and ultimately lost her home.
As she was declining mentally, i would have ended up having to resolve her mortgage (stopped paying taxes), institute a lot of repairs, and still have to deal with all thecats and dogs.
Just couldn't do it.
She has to be held accountable, ignoring the issue has consequences !
She should be looking at trying to refinance her house to pay this HELOC off and remind the world to NEVER do a loan with a potential balloon payment
Always put a balloon extension
@john Smith Agreed. I don't know why this lady did a balloon payment on a residential house.
Never place yourself in positions where you have to "ask" another for money if all possible.
She's his mother; he is her son. Often you will have parents using the emotion blackmail, like "I raised you up, paid for your education, nappies, and food. I just want to borrow $50K and you are telling me you wont lend it to me? You once lived in this place? Where am I going to live? Should I move into your house?"
The audacity! She’s young. Why isn’t she working? This guy needs a therapist. Something tells me mom has been an issue for a while.
@lobinhanovelinhas6709 - Exactly, she's only 44. Son didn't mention a thing about any disability that would keep her from working. He told Dave, "That's a good question" as to why she WASN'T working.
Guy needs to move a couple states away, get a new phone #, and not leave a forwarding address. 😉
Unbelievably selfish mother
I was expecting the mother to be in her 60’s or 70’s
Is it selfish?
In reality she probably did have her son at 14. She’s 39 and he’s 25.
Should we force anybody to have a child at that age. Some people are pro life. I’m a conservative but I say hold on to situations like this.
It’s her choice in this case but she has to try and understand the meaning of going though with having a child at such a young age.
She can’t fall into victim mentality. Nobody should push it on her. Sure it’s not her fault but at some point she has to over come this hurdle otherwise look at the consequences.
The son didn’t say how he earned the money to save 50k either. Selling drugs? Let’s hope not.
Mom has to find a job. Then they can renegotiate the balloon payment. If not then sell the house.
@@f430ferrari5why on earth would you suggest the kid is selling drugs. You must be on drugs to have come up with that conclusion
@@Tickleyourpickle420 instead of doubting feel free to provide a more logical explanation then. You obviously can’t. 😂🤣🤡
He said she was 39. Why would he say that then backtrack? Story has more holes than swiss cheese.
True.
He sounds nervous to me
I agree. That was weird as hell then they glossed over it
My mother did something similar. She wanted myself and my sister to take care of her. We let the house go since she never repaired things sufficiently and could not afford the payments and we couldn't pay her mortgage and our own . . . or just didn't want to in order to save for our own future. She stopped working and didn't want to work. So she is now in an apartment.
NOPE, self preservation, because the 50K won't be the end of it!! I'd say she needs to get herself a job or three ASAP!! She sounds lazy and I think she thinks her son is about to support her for the rest of her years!
What they don’t think about is the mother could take the money and still lose the house.
She can drive Uber on the side
She can refinance the balloon if she had a job, but banks wouldn’t even lend to her anymore which should tell you something about loaning her money. Don’t get rid of your savings, that’s your safety net, my husband had to go to the hospital & we were fine because we have a savings. We are able to invest and buy a car in cash because we had our little starter egg. This $50k is the beginning for him and it’s a cruel ask of the mom.
that 50K would set his retirement back a decade if he "loans" it to her
Or buying his own residence, more importantly.
I let my in-laws lose their house! Maybe it’s wrong, but that’s their issue. Then they came and lived with us and I had to put them out. My FIL gets 4 grand a month and saved nothing the whole year they were there! Now they’re disowning us, so problem solved 😂
Great decision on your part. Stay strong and be blessed. 👍
25, and this kid has saved $50k?! And his own mother wants to take his money?! This is heartbreaking and I can't believe that she would even consider this, much less ask. No!
I read this in the comments section of another Dave Ramsey video regarding family borrowing money: "You can't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm." Really stuck with me.
Oh that poor kid. I have kids around his age and I can't imagine wanting all their savings. That's rock bottom to even consider that an option. It's better to sell the house.
She’s one of these moms that says, I gave birth to you, so you owe me. And she says this about everything, every time!
Why isn’t she working, doesn’t sound like she’s even receiving disability so there’s something she’s not letting us know
Yes, scenarios make this makes it seem like they have a problem with addiction or mental illness. He said she definitely doesn't want to sell the house but won't even work a little bit.
She can drive for Uber
You gotta tell mom "no" unfortunately.
Don’t even have to feel bad about cutting Mom off on this one. She’s a secretive liar but it’s not like she’s 80 and has no chance to turn it around. Time for the 39 year old to get a job and rent an apartment.
A MOM THAT WOULD ASK THAT OF A 25 YEAR OLD IS IMMORAL.
That fact that she would knowingly ask him for his entire life savings without a hint of a repayment plan speaks volumes of how selfish and careless she is. I'm just dumb founded by this call smh
Love when Dave says honey lol
I appreciate Dave’s great advice. It helps hearing this because family members push the guilt buttons. My mom has done the same.
This is terrible his mother is about to wipe out all his hard work because of her mistakes
Adam, don't do it! You're a good son and don't let her pressure you into it! She will be back at square one in a few months and you will have lost all your savings! Don't do it! She has options!!
And he should make sure she's not on his bank account from when he was a minor, or when he says no she'll just go to the bank and draw it out and walk away with it
If he gives her that money, he’ll never see a red cent of it. She’ll never pay it back. His mother is extremely selfish and should be ashamed of herself 😠
If he does this he will never get it back- EVER
That's right. If someone won't even work to keep a roof over their own head, they definitely won't think paying someone back is a priority either.
Can always depend on dave giving solid advice great job 😊
1:23 "That's not NEARLY as irresponsible but CLOSE" 😂
19 year-old mom has led him to believe he owes her this. He doesn't.
So sad parents do this to their children!
She has no equity in the house
My single most important objective in retirement is to NEVER have to ask my children for help (besides watering my plants and filling my bird feeders).
Oh yeah, it technically would be fun for them to have them benefit NOW from the inheritance they likely get when I finally croak, but doing that I take the risk that I mentioned above, needing help. I started with NOTHING and built up what I have now, and have no guilt in expecting my children to do the same: be self sufficient.
Wow. That's audacity. She acts like she's an old woman when she is solidly middle-aged. She should be fine to continue working.
My dad is living on his SS and is only making it because he is living with my brother and his wife. Fortunately my three brothers and I have been better at planning for retirement and will not be in the same situation. They had money when they retired, 300k in a 401 but my mother who passed a couple of years ago made alot of bad decisions and the money is gone. My dad has never been been able to control her spending habits.
"My dad has never been been able to control her spending habits."
.
I've always wondered about statements like that. If I were married to a woman and she spent recklessly and refused to be responsible, then what I'd is open a separate bank account that she neither knows about nor has any access to, and all the income and savings would go into that account. From there, I would take out CASH to give to her to cover the areas of shopping for groceries, clothing, etc. When the monthly cash allotment is gone, the shopping is done. That's the only way to fix chronic overspending.
.
It's our job, as men, to lead our family well. I don't get the sense that he was a leader, but rather was an enabler.
Sad. Now he’s suffering the consequences
@@sidwhiting665 he probably would of lost his house and kids in a divorce if he did that sadly seen it happen.
If the bank won't loan someone money, neither should you.
What an amazing young man. This woman does not deserve a son like him. I REALLY hope he doesn’t give her his money. Her mess of a life that she chose to create is NOT his fault or problem. She’s completely taking advantage of his beautiful heart and that is NOT okay. Ugh…this one broke my heart. Poor kid.
My mother asked for the mortgage payment one month. That must have killed her. I didn't think much of it since she paid my rent early on. Later she raided an account she set up after my dad died. From then on, I kept money separate from family.
I'm shocked to find people here who think he should just give his mum the money! Beyond delusional. His mum put herself in this situation, she's an adult FFS.
How you get 50k at 25 ? Saving it 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 3:15
Absolutely not!!!
How is she suppose to pay him back if she won't get a job? If he lends her the money she might still lose the house and his 50k is gone forever
It doesn't fix the problem. In a matter of time she'll need another $50k. The solution is her selling the property and getting a job.
Mom will lose her house and expect to move in with Adam because "it's his fault." He needs to distance himself from her ASAP. Ghost mom.
I like how Dave spun it around on the caller if he had a little boy and he asked him for money!! Great teaching moment I think this did it for the caller great job Dave 👏