A Better Way to Talk About Resilience | Emen Washington | TEDxTAMU

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  • Опубликовано: 26 авг 2024
  • Does resilience look the same for all of us? Does it look the same each time we face a challenge? In this talk, Emem Washington seeks to share the various forms resilience can come in (including forms some might view as quitting or giving up), and why a broader view is necessary, for what it means to be resilient.
    Emem Washington is a Success Strategist, Trainer and the Founder of ModaVida, a personal and professional development company. She is also an Author, Recording Artist, and Attorney.
    An unapologetic optimist, her favorite things include “blue sky days”, fine-tipped pens of any color, and anything she can write on (yes, napkins included). She is mom to two miracle sons. Get to know her further at www.ememwashington.com. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Комментарии • 232

  • @peternpicha
    @peternpicha 2 месяца назад +1

    "Pushing through looks like pulling out." Amen to that.

  • @Buzzapper
    @Buzzapper 4 месяца назад +1

    Bending not breaking, that's a valuable lesson for life...

  • @miraramona
    @miraramona 5 месяцев назад +1

    The analogy of bending in a storm resonated deeply. Resilience isn't just about endurance; it's about adapting and finding strength in flexibility. Well articulated!

  • @georgenotbest
    @georgenotbest 2 месяца назад +1

    There is so much power and satisfaction in just saying "no, I won't do that." To hear that it also fuels your resilience is very reassuring

  • @SeashellShimmer
    @SeashellShimmer 3 месяца назад +1

    She does a great job of challenging the traditional notion of resilience. Emphasizing that it can sometimes involve quitting or seeking help is quite refreshing and feels way more humane and realistic.

  • @yogidevish
    @yogidevish 2 месяца назад +1

    I'm glad we're finally at a place where we can have these conversations about allowing ourselves - and each other - to be treated with a bit more softness and understanding.

  • @annerossiter
    @annerossiter 4 месяца назад +1

    Understanding that sometimes quitting is part of being resilient opens up a more compassionate view towards mental health and self-care.

  • @calebdonnar
    @calebdonnar 3 месяца назад +1

    The mention of mental health in resilience discussions is crucial. It's not just about what our bodies can endure, especially if it's at the cost of our mental health

  • @tarahjaiden1680
    @tarahjaiden1680 4 месяца назад +1

    Admitting you need a break or help isn't weakness, it's just another form of resilience. I'm going to try to embrace that message fully.

  • @WEisMEnow
    @WEisMEnow 4 месяца назад +1

    Mental health needs to be part of the resilience conversation, glad it was mentioned.

  • @georgecox2933
    @georgecox2933 Месяц назад +1

    Loved her story about the palm trees bending in the storm and still being able to produce fruit even if they don't go all the way back to being upright!!

  • @monteTthompson
    @monteTthompson 9 месяцев назад +1

    Life is a complex puzzle, and resilience is just one piece. We should embrace the diverse ways people navigate challenges. Simone Biles' decision is a reminder that our mental well-being matters.

  • @dizzeedean
    @dizzeedean 2 месяца назад +1

    Her point about resilience not just being about "pushing through" but also knowing when to take a step back for mental health resonated with me. It's a perspective we often overlook in our hustle culture and all that's doing is leading to a huge amount of burnout

  • @pengzhou6952
    @pengzhou6952 4 месяца назад +1

    This definitely challenges the societal norm of pushing through at all costs and that's something a lot of people need to hear.

  • @SublimeRanter
    @SublimeRanter 4 месяца назад +1

    Resilience, as you described, is a nuanced journey, and acknowledging individual paths is crucial. Life doesn't look the same for any two people, this includes _all_ aspects of their lives.

  • @ThatThingBeneath
    @ThatThingBeneath Месяц назад +1

    I agree with this so much! To be able to recognize your own capabilities and limitations _before_ you push yourself to the point of breaking is huge and should absolutely go under the "resilience" umbrella.

  • @StyleSocio
    @StyleSocio 5 месяцев назад +1

    The emphasis on mental health and well-being struck a chord. It's empowering to hear discussions that prioritize self-care as an integral part of resilience. Thank you!

  • @mikehweaver
    @mikehweaver Месяц назад +1

    These perspectives on resilience are truly a breath of fresh air, honestly this is exactly the direction we should be moving towards in terms of addressing mental health and setting personal boundaries.

  • @TheAffinityAdvocate
    @TheAffinityAdvocate Месяц назад +1

    I think it's so important to be able to adapt to challenges with flexibility and grace. When we get caught up in absolutes we're really just limiting our own ability to grow and evolve as people.

  • @kaymitchell4935
    @kaymitchell4935 3 месяца назад +1

    I don't know why but I got so choked up listening to her talk about how she returned to work so soon after a loss.

  • @bcacres9837
    @bcacres9837 4 месяца назад +1

    Hearing about the difference in reactions to personal grief was eye-opening for me

  • @halinatomczyk1714
    @halinatomczyk1714 10 месяцев назад +1

    True resilience can mean accepting when you've had enough and choosing a different route.

  • @danielblanchard2757
    @danielblanchard2757 Год назад +1

    We all need to engage in this better way to think and talk about resilience.

  • @diegofashiondesign
    @diegofashiondesign 3 месяца назад +1

    It's so important to remember we all deal with challenges differently. You might be capable of disconnecting your emotions and just getting through a really difficult situation then absolutely crumbling after it's all said and done.

  • @guntherhofer
    @guntherhofer 6 месяцев назад +1

    The story of Elena Muchina is heartbreaking but essential in illustrating the consequences of pushing too hard. Resilience should be about self-preservation, not just endurance.

  • @chezravvy
    @chezravvy 3 месяца назад +1

    resilience is personal and this talk highlighted that beautifully.

  • @maxinebennier
    @maxinebennier 2 месяца назад +1

    This is a really important message to be spreading, especially for those who always put too much on their plate and then don't want to let anyone down.

  • @chancesestor
    @chancesestor 2 месяца назад +1

    I liked what she said about how her coming back to work so quickly was her form of resilience. I don't think there's anything wrong with doing things as a way to get through grief and hard times.

  • @helenimnotready
    @helenimnotready 9 месяцев назад +1

    Resilience as a spectrum, not a one-size-fits-all concept? I'm loving this perspective! Sometimes, quitting can be the smartest move. It's like saying 'No' to the wrong path to make room for the right one.

  • @Rant-Diva
    @Rant-Diva 4 месяца назад +1

    Your talk challenged the achievement-focused culture beautifully. Resilience is a complex concept, and it's refreshing to hear discussions that embrace the diversity of individual journeys.

  • @mariannemortimer7724
    @mariannemortimer7724 Месяц назад +1

    I love this approach, I think far too few of us have been taught when to take a step back for the sake of our mental health and the high levels of burnout we've seen since the pandemic are just proof of that

  • @opheliaollogtren
    @opheliaollogtren 2 месяца назад +1

    She makes such a good point about how we always tell people to keep going and push through and that they can do it! But sometimes maybe people just need to be told it's okay to quit. We should normalize the latter because I've seen friends and family force themselves to do things that just weren't right until something really, really bad happened to force them to quit.

  • @miyahnna
    @miyahnna 9 месяцев назад +1

    This is a great talk. Resilience should come from knowing and listening to yourself, not bouncing back from trauma as is the norm

  • @shirleyklauscompletehealth5126
    @shirleyklauscompletehealth5126 2 года назад +3

    Taking a "break" or pause in life brings soo much growth!!

    • @EmemWashington
      @EmemWashington 2 года назад +1

      Yesss!! So often we forget that; I have been guilty of it too.

  • @dariasotnykova
    @dariasotnykova 9 месяцев назад +1

    I never thought quitting could be a form of resilience until now. This talk is like a mental gymnastics routine, flipping my perspective on its head!

  • @saajidahlip
    @saajidahlip 8 месяцев назад +1

    I think recognizing different forms of strength is pretty crucial in terms of creating a supportive and understanding community. This talk is a great step in that direction.

  • @nikolaihlazarev
    @nikolaihlazarev 3 месяца назад +1

    I really appreciated hearing a broader view on what resilience can be. I don't think self-care is advocated for in this way nearly enough. You hear that phrase and think like oh a nice bath or a nourishing meal but it should be so much more.

  • @haleeisener
    @haleeisener Год назад +1

    It's essential to destigmatize seeking help, such as therapy, as part of one's resilience journey.

  • @thereallybigplanet
    @thereallybigplanet 7 месяцев назад +1

    We're all unique individuals and it follows that resilience would be personal experience. There's no "right" or "wrong" way.

  • @olanik2061
    @olanik2061 6 месяцев назад +1

    Your talk made me rethink how I perceive resilience. The acknowledgment that everyone's journey is different, as seen in the story about your mom and colleague, is eye-opening.

  • @TheBigFlameDrone
    @TheBigFlameDrone 6 месяцев назад +1

    Loved the emphasis on mental health and well-being. It's a reminder that true strength lies in understanding our limits and making choices that align with our personal needs.

  • @luizantoniomachado
    @luizantoniomachado 5 месяцев назад +1

    The acknowledgment that sometimes we have to bend not to break is powerful. Resilience isn't always about enduring; it's about finding ways to adapt and navigate challenges effectively.

  • @rooseveltmartens9918
    @rooseveltmartens9918 5 месяцев назад +1

    The discussion on resilience was eye-opening. It's refreshing to consider strength beyond the conventional 'never give up' narrative. Great insights!

  • @1ElementalTeam1
    @1ElementalTeam1 11 месяцев назад +1

    Simone's decision to quit was, in my opinion, the actions of a champion who was able to honour herself and acknowledge that all wasn't well.

    • @TruthFelt
      @TruthFelt 6 месяцев назад

      I agree 100%. Thanks for what you wrote!

  • @aleidbarend
    @aleidbarend 6 месяцев назад +1

    I think this is a very timely talk and we could all benefit from looking at this broader view of resilience!

  • @arnafieldsteen
    @arnafieldsteen 10 месяцев назад +1

    the story is heartbreaking. It emphasizes the importance of listening to our bodies and not giving in to external pressures.

  • @shirleyklauscompletehealth5126
    @shirleyklauscompletehealth5126 2 года назад +3

    Yes, everyone has a different way of processing & working through situations.
    Yes!! look through Resilience through a "wider lens/veiw!! Palm tree... great visual picture... we bend so we don't break!!
    I quit can = grit & resilience!

    • @EmemWashington
      @EmemWashington 2 года назад

      The palm tree is my favorite. Love that it resonated. Thank you, Shirley!

  • @berdinaguest
    @berdinaguest 4 месяца назад +1

    I appreciate her talking about how resilience isn't one-size-fits-all. It’s about finding what works for you, whether it's stepping back or pushing through.

  • @marekzagdanski
    @marekzagdanski 2 месяца назад +1

    I agree, we're all different so we need to find what works for us instead of just doing what's expected of us, especially for the sake of other people

  • @angrybeagles4108
    @angrybeagles4108 3 месяца назад +1

    “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
    ― Joseph Campbell

  • @ThreadIT
    @ThreadIT 4 месяца назад +1

    Love the fresh take on what it means to be strong. The old one's gotten us to some difficult places.

  • @yunzhang5041
    @yunzhang5041 3 месяца назад +1

    Loved how practical and relatable the talk was. Resilience redefined!

  • @iambabypink
    @iambabypink 4 месяца назад +1

    This talk made me rethink my definition of strength and honestly I think I needed that more than I realized.

  • @hasnain-jeelani
    @hasnain-jeelani Год назад +1

    True resilience comes from knowing when to push forward and when to step back for self-care.

  • @EvilHalt
    @EvilHalt Год назад +1

    I appreciate the exploration of how resilience can change with each challenge. The more we take on and process the more we grow, the stronger we get. What this version of me can carry and overcome would have killed the version of me from five years ago.

  • @Therealspence
    @Therealspence 5 месяцев назад +1

    Strategic resilience is a very cool concept. I've heard that saying about losing the battle to win the war but this is the first time I've really understood what it means.

  • @henrahsavage4653
    @henrahsavage4653 2 месяца назад +1

    Oh I love this... especially the part about it how it can be different from one situation to the next as well. What works in one instance might not work the next time, even if it's the same issue. People are so complex and our well-being can change literally from one day to the next.

  • @laelresands5016
    @laelresands5016 9 месяцев назад +1

    Yup, this is definitely a better way

  • @IPlayLofiTunes
    @IPlayLofiTunes 11 месяцев назад +1

    I think talks like this are important for us to expand our understanding of resilience. We should always be working towards a more compassionate and supportive society, and conversations like this help to do so.

    • @TruthFelt
      @TruthFelt 6 месяцев назад

      Perfectly said in words! Thank You, I agree 100 percent!

  • @theadventurouschristianlif5370
    @theadventurouschristianlif5370 2 года назад +3

    This is great. Resilience isn't the movie version of the action hero, who starts off strong, gets beat up, then gets stronger and does a final beat-down on the bad guys. I like those movies too! But it's not life. In real life, resilience is just as often water as it is stone: when we pursue our goals, sometimes we flow like water. We grow different channels, stop at obstacles then flow around, stop for a while in place and get deeper... and carve our way right through the stone that stops us.
    Also, Emem Washington is the real deal! An amazing woman who is highly resilent herself.

    • @EmemWashington
      @EmemWashington 2 года назад

      You have such a beautiful way with words. My favorite part: “resilience is just as often water as it is stone”. Sooo good!
      And thank you for your kind words.❤️

  • @katarinabloom
    @katarinabloom 6 месяцев назад +1

    Embracing diverse paths to success and well-being challenges the one-size-fits-all mindset. Thanks for the thought-provoking insights.

  • @katiaromanow
    @katiaromanow 3 месяца назад +1

    Sometimes, stepping back does more good than pushing through. I wish I had learnt this earlier.

  • @josephandris6148
    @josephandris6148 3 месяца назад +1

    The stories used to illustrate points were very effective. I feel like I really understand what she's talking about.

  • @mindfulmeditationsforall
    @mindfulmeditationsforall 7 месяцев назад +1

    Like everything resilience is something deeply personal and different from one person to the next. Ultimately it's our experiences that make up what it looks like.

  • @PenguinMoonwalker
    @PenguinMoonwalker 4 месяца назад +1

    I think the fact that often we're so achievement focused, unless there's some milestone tangible thing we don't give ourselves the credit for everything else, and then when it comes time to give ourselves some break time we just have no idea!

  • @therealjuanschmidt
    @therealjuanschmidt 3 месяца назад +1

    So many good points in this talk, especially about how different resilience can look from person to person. My mom was one of those people who never stopped, that was just who she was and her way of dealing with things too but her emotional resilience wasn't so good. If anyone needed her to do something that pulled her out of the things she wanted to do, it was like she'd just get so overwhelmed and click over

  • @huskybutler
    @huskybutler 11 месяцев назад +2

    Resilience should be about finding balance and listening to our bodies and minds and we need to celebrate individuals who prioritize their mental and physical well-being over societal expectations.

    • @TruthFelt
      @TruthFelt 6 месяцев назад

      Amen to that!

  • @shannonpscofield
    @shannonpscofield 8 месяцев назад +1

    I really appreciate that someone's out here challenging the focus on achievement based merit... We're all just trying to carve out a little safe space where we can be happy and connect with one another.

  • @hortonm554
    @hortonm554 Год назад +2

    Resilience comes in different forms. Simone Biles showed resilience by recognizing her limits and making a tough choice. It's a powerful lesson for all of us.

  • @czarcasm2168
    @czarcasm2168 6 месяцев назад +1

    The comparison between different trees in a storm was insightful. Resilience, like the palm tree bending, teaches us that flexibility can be a powerful strategy in facing adversity.

  • @Twitchisme
    @Twitchisme 6 месяцев назад +1

    Loved the story about her colleague's approach to grief. We all have unique ways of bouncing back, and that's something to celebrate.

  • @ben-basi
    @ben-basi Год назад +1

    We are all individuals and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. That's how I think of resilience. Find what works for you.

  • @harryhandsome7638
    @harryhandsome7638 2 месяца назад +1

    The example of Simone Biles was perfectly placed. It shows that even the strongest among us need to prioritize their well-being

  • @0sapnachouhan0
    @0sapnachouhan0 Год назад +1

    Resilience is the accumulation of terrible things one has experienced and the strength they've acquired in spite of it.

  • @coopercrank
    @coopercrank 7 месяцев назад +1

    The idea of resilience being asking for help and leaning on others is a more realistic and human definition and I'm all for that.

  • @1edty
    @1edty 6 месяцев назад +1

    The story about returning to work after loss hit close. Resilience is deeply personal, and we all have our unique ways of bouncing back.

  • @dr.anubinny9963
    @dr.anubinny9963 2 года назад +2

    What a thought provoking Tedx talk. Completely challenged my take on resilience, my 2 key takeways ...Its the courage saying No, each one's bouncing back methods can be different. Like Einstein said, Genius is know when to stop. Thank you

    • @EmemWashington
      @EmemWashington 2 года назад

      Your takeaways are gold. I appreciate your insight. Thank you, Dr. Anu. ❤️

  • @lyndsayramster
    @lyndsayramster 7 месяцев назад +1

    Loved the talk! The story about the palm tree bending in the storm resonated. It's crucial to recognize the power in flexibility and adapting to challenges.

  • @moniqueedwards9509
    @moniqueedwards9509 2 года назад +7

    So on point! Society is soooo achievement-focused at the cost of personal peace & mental health/wellness. It can & should look different for everyone.

    • @EmemWashington
      @EmemWashington 2 года назад +1

      Agreed, Monique. Thank you for your insight.

    • @TruthFelt
      @TruthFelt 6 месяцев назад

      Truth! Thank You!

  • @verapatrizio
    @verapatrizio 10 месяцев назад +1

    This reminds me of the Japanese art of 'kintsugi,' where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Maybe quitting is our way of filling life's cracks with our unique golden stories.

  • @chewysbacka
    @chewysbacka 6 месяцев назад +1

    The emphasis on recognizing when to step back for mental health struck a chord. It's a reminder that self-care and resilience often go hand in hand. Great insights!

  • @rosecaspern
    @rosecaspern 6 месяцев назад +1

    I think this really shows how societal expectations can limit our understanding of strength in various situations. So often we just assume what someone in a certain role has to behave like, we don't always appreciate how much more power and courage it takes for them to go against those expectations.

  • @johnbradey
    @johnbradey 10 месяцев назад +1

    I think acknowledging that resilience means different things for different people is a huge step towards fostering empathy and understanding

  • @ProOneBetterThanProTwo
    @ProOneBetterThanProTwo 10 месяцев назад +1

    Resilience isn't just about pushing through; it's also about knowing when to pivot.

  • @marktferris
    @marktferris 6 месяцев назад +1

    "The oak fights the wind and is broken, the willow bends when it must and survives." I forget where that quote comes from lol but this talk definitely made me think of that

  • @TruthFelt
    @TruthFelt 6 месяцев назад +1

    Such a breath of fresh air, coming from this way of looking at resilience! Your words are like a healing balm that I needed to hear! So many parts of your talk soothed my soul. Thank you sooo much! Perfect timing for me to hear this! Much appreciated!

  • @piperdalgliesh
    @piperdalgliesh Год назад +1

    I can't believe people called Simone Biles an embarrassment. She's an incredibly talented athlete who made a brave decision to prioritize her safety. We should be applauding her!!

  • @jus-t-s
    @jus-t-s Год назад +1

    The concept of bending but not breaking, like a palm tree, is a beautiful analogy for resilience.

  • @josefthepichler
    @josefthepichler 6 месяцев назад +1

    The concept of losing a battle to win the war resonated. Sometimes, strategic decisions for long-term victory require foregoing temporary wins and that's a perspective shift worth considering.

  • @omkar2485
    @omkar2485 9 месяцев назад +1

    Yeah the idea of pushing through can be so dangerous and it's crucial to listen to your body and your heart.

  • @Tangeirin
    @Tangeirin 3 месяца назад +1

    Great talk! It's about time we redefine what being resilient means cos the old way ain't workin! I mean just look at where it's gotten us 😅😅

  • @taylorpjansen
    @taylorpjansen Месяц назад +1

    There is such a good message here. One of my friends growing up was just the toughest little nut you've ever seen, honestly the amount of emotional toil that she pushed herself through while still being a super high achiever was incredible. Then she had a complete menty b right before starting her first year of college, and afterwards just this total change of personality and reordering of priorities which I imagine would have been incredible cathartic for her but man it was an uqly process that I think could have been avoided

  • @tetrusexpert
    @tetrusexpert Год назад +1

    I appreciate Emen's honesty about her past mindset and how she's grown to see resilience differently.

  • @sultanvagram
    @sultanvagram Год назад +1

    It's easy to judge someone from the sidelines, but we have to remember that we're not in her shoes. Mental and physical health should always come first.

  • @lincolnmessier1840
    @lincolnmessier1840 Год назад +1

    I used to think resilience meant never giving up and letting all the setbacks and negativity just bounce off you but listening to this talk is making me reconsider

  • @ameliebaxter553
    @ameliebaxter553 Год назад +1

    I'm speechless, the way you talk is really good. I love how you use Palm tree to illustrate resilience

  • @bentsimmons
    @bentsimmons 11 месяцев назад +1

    Not all challenges require the same response. Resilience is about adapting to specific situations.

  • @IAmZictate
    @IAmZictate 10 месяцев назад +1

    Resilience is like a secret garden, and everyone has their unique key. Simone used her key to protect herself, and that's a powerful act of self-love. We should all learn to respect our own keys.

    • @TruthFelt
      @TruthFelt 6 месяцев назад

      I like that analogy of a key. I once heard a quote about a key. It went something like " A key isn't made for just any door, but for the one it is meant to unlock." Thanks for your post.

  • @ashleyevans8801
    @ashleyevans8801 Год назад +1

    Spot on with defining resilience, even for those who are trauma-informed trained. Wow! Wonderful and thought-provoking talk! This is one to listen to the full message, not just a fast-forward skim.

    • @EmemWashington
      @EmemWashington Год назад

      Thank you, Ashley. I’m so happy it resonates. ❤

  • @christy-mercurio
    @christy-mercurio Год назад +1

    I think that the societal pressure to always be strong and never quit can be damaging. We need more open conversations about mental health. We need to know it's okay to just find a safe place to break and put ourselves back together

    • @TruthFelt
      @TruthFelt 6 месяцев назад

      Yes that is so true! Thank you for adding your insights.