The problem with the wife is that all she see is 175k and she thinks they are rich. 175k is really good money, but with over 100k debt kids and a mortgage, you can’t live that lifestyle! She needs to understand that! Inflation is through the roof!
175K is not that much. My husband and I bring in 385K together. It’s really how people decide to live. I’m more of a saver but my husband was born into money and grew up in a 2 million dollar house with his siblings. They all spend like crazy & don’t get why I STILL budget even if we make a decent income.
An envelope for each budget item. He puts the allotment of cash in each envelope every week for her to use. She puts the receipts in each envelope and it better add up.
Yup. When you don't care about material things then it's alot easier. My wife and I couldn't care less how nice our house and cars are. I wish I would have done this at 15 instead of wasting money on partying and video games
@@leadnsteel1428 it’s called having a standard lol ….make more $ and you can afford nicer things …if you have a higher standard . there’s nothing wrong with wanting the best if you can pay for it . why should others only enjoy the finest things ….
@@bangladeshirealtor His point is that he & his wife have learned that the "finest things" (as you put it) in life are not material things, and don't cost a lot of money.
@@Run4Ever77 that’s just your perspective . other people have values embedded in having nicer material things . that’s what they like purchasing and wearing , riding , or decorating with . and it always keeps one motivated to keep their productivity up because their values are tied into living a finer lifestyle through material items and experiences.
My thoughts exactly! After watching close to 50 of these videos Ramsey's organization has bias against men and bias for women. However Dave did say despite a high income they are essentially BROKE! You're correct Rachel is way off base as to how self centered the vast majority of women are especially here in the States. If a man holds his wife accountable he is immediately seen as a abuser. Spot on my man...Spot on!
His wife doesn’t even have a job, it’s all his money she’s spending. I don’t have an issue with more traditional women who want to run a household and whose husbands can afford it, but in the old days it was the woman keeping the family budget balanced! (And the men were working 80 hour weeks and the women usually worked from home in addition to running the household. Being able to stay home and raise kids with no other responsibilities is an incredible luxury only available to the wealthy.)
Yup! He needs to put his foot down! I can understand some are decided on being one income families, but inflation is crazy high....making it really tough. and if she wants to spend spend spend, she needs to get herself a JOB!
As a guy whose life and finances were turned upside down by a divorce, I can say for sure that my ex-wife and I not being able to get on the same page re: finances was a factor in the demise of our marriage. its an expensive problem to have if you can't work it out together.
Though I miss her, I don’t miss drowning in debt and having to become Captain Creative each month moving money around to cover shortfalls. After three years, I’m almost done paying off the marital debt that I was forced to shoulder upon divorce. You hear guys brag about buying flashy cars and boats, but I’m buying a wheelbarrow...to carry around all the cash I’m saving.
Yea, here's seconding that comment! It was a hit, but divorce has been very positive overall and mostly because now I can fill the tub without someone kicking the plug every month.
It’s just one of those things you have to get figured out before you decide to marry someone. I told my wife, your going to live like the spouse of a baggage handler, not a major airline pilot. She “got it.” People live on $50-$60k/year all the time.
My wife has an awesome salary, and at this time, I don't. But we don't live like we have that salary. We paid off our house, bought our cars with cash, and have no debt. We love living on $60k.
He makes $175k, he pays the bills. I know he didn't say that but I can tell he does. But she controls the spending. They will never get on the same page. I can hear that in his voice, he's afraid to challenge her. I refuse to let someone pull me into a hole. He's going to work the rest of his life, not smart.
You have to sit down as a family, kids and all. The daughters need to know that they cannot just get everything they want right now. She may be feeling the guilt that children impose on their parents when they are told NO! So include them too if some of the charges are for them as well.
@@genxx2724 When my daughter was little, she threw a temper tantrum in the store because she wanted something and we said no. We just let her go. It didn't take long for her to realize that doesn't work, and she never did it again.
No young children don’t need to be burdened with adult financial responsibility. They deserve a great childhood with our worrying about parents issues. Kids internalize things yet are helpless to actually earn money. His daughters sound young. Their job is school, friends and playing. Quit trying to make them grown ups. They aren’t.
I love this! Its a perfect example of how the way we view our situation can help change it. Its good to hear the caller recognized his responsibility as well as hers. I hope to works out for them.
Then that needs to apply to both of them! She’s not a little girl who did her chores and gets an allowance at the end of the week. She’s a grown ass adult. And if he’s not working the budget to include her wants and needs properly then she has not been part of planning that budget then yes she’s going to spend. Because like they said she’s not part of the contract. She lives in his house takes care of his kids takes care of his house drives his car. Of course she’s going to do this!
It clearly does apply to him, he says he isn’t using the credit cards. He also says the wife isn’t using the cards for her own wants outside of their agreed budget. She is spending the money on their girls. I suspect she has trouble telling the girls no when she thinks mom and dad can afford it. That’s why she needs to understand that they are broke and cannot afford to give their kids a luxury lifestyle right now, not because of some BS. You cannot blame the kids either, because they probably don’t know the value of money. TL;DR: Both husband and wife are in the wrong. The husband is treating his wife like a kid and the wife is acting like a child. You can say the wife acts like a kid because the husband treats her like one. You can say the husband treats his wife like a kid because she acts like one. The reality is it doesn’t matter, they both need to change and work together to have a successful marriage.
As it was stated, she had no say in the plan. She doesn’t see the value in the end. She is like a lot of people where you don’t see the impact until you are really impacted. For one she isn’t bringing in any income and sees a good income while living in Atlanta and taking that for granted. Allow her to be apart of the plan and she needs to go to work to really see where the money goes.
Always amazes me when it's someone living/spending so extravagantly....who doesn't even work! Geez....if you want to spend like that, go get a job!! We are at 9.1% inflation..can't believe people are still in denial....insane!
I can see why they thought she should be able to stay at home with the kids! It really takes some effort to blow through over $175k a year, but she's doing it like it's nothing!
I agree they need to do the budget together. Maybe they can also brainstorm ideas of go-to foods instead of eating out. It seems like they will need a lot of planning to make sure she is not spending on a whim. I am sad to see this. She makes stay-at-home moms look bad. There are so many women working within very tight budgets, looking at what they already have and use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without, who are saving the family money and raising wonderful, loving humans. Then you have someone who overspends with $175K income and acts like it's somehow benefitting the kids! I hope she sees the light soon!
@AnonUser-b6y she's not being an audit, apart of being an adult is understanding money and not put your family in credit debt or spend more than you make. Until she learn money,
Rachel, there are financially malicious spouses out there.... I know some (they are acquaintances and colleagues). You both give women too much slack. Please understand not everyone is honorable.
Life is NOT "happening to her." Thats a bunch of nonsense. I used to tell my ex "life is not something that is being done to you." His wife needs to grow up.
My wife and I are in a similar situation, although not nearly as bad. We're debt-free except for the house, but she doesn't stick to the budget well. This video has made me think about our system, which we did discuss and she agreed to, but maybe it's been too long and we need to have a high-level conversation again. Or maybe I didn't get enough buy-in. She probably is not as engaged and interested in building wealth as I am. Got me thinking!
There has to be dialogue about lifestyle expectations- yours and hers. You might have little to no pressure put on you by your family and your peers about your appearance, giving gifts, how many activities your kids participate in, how your kids dress and whether they have "cool" stuff, but your wife and kids may be experiencing more pressure to keep up appearances which could have something to do with her spending. Something to consider.
Agree to a budget and pay yourself first on investments. Every dollar has a purpose. If she blows the budget on a category there won’t be enough there to cover it… and then when that happens you put her on a prepaid card or cash allowance equal to the agreed upon amount. Same rules apply to you.
I can help her. I’m a Dave Ramsey Certified Financial Coach and I work specifically with Spenders. Her motivation for sticking to the budget won’t be the same as yours. Spenders live by different rules when it comes to money.
@@zoraster3749 your spouse doesn't get an "allowance", they're a spouse not a child. That's not the solution. Having a monthly discussion and budgeting together is the solution. If you do that and both people have equal say in that, then everyone is clear on what needs to happen to get to the goal.
Does your wife work or is she a homemaker? Next experience is that friends who are homemakers live off their husband's and they love to spend his money when it's not their own
If I was him and I had a spendy husband, I’d ask him to get a job! I get the value of a homemaker but after the kids go into school, working part time is a very real option!
I try to avoid the situation altogether by not getting married or having kids in the first place. Aside from taxes and any contract I’ve entered, nobody gets a say in how the money I went to work for gets managed
He needs to sit down with his wife an a BLANK piece of paper and then make the budget/plan together. He can't do it all by himself and then expect her to feel any ownership in the plan. If they do that together and she STILL spends money, then that is another problem.
Guy has no clue what everyday items costs for 2 adults and 2 ever growing and changing kids in these times. Amazing how utterly clueless men are at non reality based budgets. My ex made many that did not contain, food, clothing, medical, school supplies, gas, vehicle costs, propane or any thing but bills that were mailed to us. He learned the hard way, when I divorced his man child world view and 2008 ate up a good deal of our pension savings. This dude is likely a sad remenant of patriarchy and clueless beyond what he makes, failing to see the importance of her role so he can even make that.
It doesn't matter if your income is excellent (it's a blessing! Yes!). If you're spending more than when you're earning you're ALWAYS going to be in debt! Loving this show my the way. Papa Ramsey Rocks!
Wife and I lived on 45k for four years when we had our first kid. It wasn’t easy but it is doable. We shopped second hand, wore hand me downs, we had one car which was a hooptie and didn’t eat at restaurants. I worked the 9-5 grind and my wife had a weekend side hustle but we made it happen with a newborn.
That's good, you and wife was willing to live comfortably with a newborn not having a panic attack well things pop up on your way, you were ready to pay those bills.
Listening to this guy it's clear he's at his wit's end. Someone else might have to get the message through to her. If she still doesn't want to cooperate, a divorce is going to be the only option. What a nightmare to have to live with.
@@RedeemedRogueMolecules spending the entire salary is cheaper than the divorce, you have to be kidding. In any case I'd get the divorce, pay her one time and stay single.
It’s funny how it’s always the man’s responsibility to make the wife do right. But when it’s the wife calling about the husband he’s lazy, immature or controlling. Just an observation 🤷🏻♂️
I don’t see how they helped at all. They didn’t even listen when he said she agreed to the budget and just won’t stick to it because she’s not worried. I’ve heard the same call with the genders reversed and it goes very differently. The man is told to grow up. He isn’t treating her like a teenager, she is acting like one.
It’s very simple. Both spouses work, split all bills, separate bank accounts. We have done this for 41 years, never has been any money problems. Paid off the house in 5 years, large investment portfolio. No spouse is the others ATM.
She married a very successful man; she has no reason to change. If he tries to force it, he loses BIG time in the divorce settlement with alimony and child support.
It’s great that Mario is on board…if he were single! This wife is a major liability🤦♀️ she stays home and plans, plans to spend money. She needs to get a job! Otherwise, she’s a little girl. Rachel, you’re sweet, I feel like you’ve been so shielded so you don’t see how crummy people can be.
When he brings in $175k, it is reasonable for them to both believe she should be able to stay at home. She just needs to grow up and act like an adult in her own life. No, she can't go out for breakfast/lunch/dinner or spend her free time shopping!
He chose her as his wife.. there’s a whole other side to these types of couples and it’s the man who wants to feel in charge and have a dependent wife.. well, you got what you wanted!!!
Doesn't matter how much you make, there's always ways to spend it. $100K cars, spendy vacations, expensive clothes. Eating out is always expensive. You have to choose to save.
I was married to someone like this for decades. They will never stop and they don’t care. They will always have an excuse. Don’t let a woman work you into the ground my man.
see this is the problem I have with my husband. But he DOES sit down and do the budget, and agrees to it, but then just doesn't follow it....like month after month....so what do you do then?
Because we realize the amount of work it takes raising a family. We are the primary shoppers for the family. Children are expensive to raise. My husband is happy when I buy our children clothing it shows I’m taking care of them. Give me a break
This is the thing about Rachel and other financial planners that bother me. I am the same as this guy. I’ll be all in and my wife will say she is also. I’ll ask her to help me make a budget or make her own draft of a budget and she has no interest and asks me to do it and show it to her. Than I’ll make one and give it to her and ask her what she would like to change or what might not work and she will tell me she thinks it’s great the way it is. For a time she’ll do it, but sooner or later it’s back to credit card spending. I’m not dictating anything to anyone, I’m begging for participation and begging for her to tell me how she thinks it would work best. She feels zero financial pressure and I lose sleep some nights. It’s exactly how this guy sounds and they tell him that he’s dictating and inferring that he’s falsely accusing his wife of malice when he never said anything of the sort. He’s probably like me, I adore my wife, in every way other than financial she’s just about perfect, but this suggestion that he’s the issue here for not including her in the planning, just no.
@@TShirtAndReeboks where are you getting your info? Most divorces happen due to financial reasons and they're mostly filed by the wife Also not to mention it's borderline impossible to get two people to see eye-to-eye with their life goals We're all different and have unique sets of expectations
Dang the comment section is brutal! Hopefully this couple can properly team up and implement some spending barriers together before going with a nuclear solution as suggested by many. These kinds of calls make me grateful that my wife and I are on the same page. :)
I’m glad it’s brutal tbh. People like the caller need a wakeup call. Especially now with inflation through the roof. If he loses his job, they’re done.
The second hardest thing to do on the road to financial independence. The first is choosing to get your own self on the road. If your spouse is not on board (and has a spending problem) then I can't see how it would work.
I feel for this guy. My wife's similar, and she has even said to me, "you figure out the budget and tell me how it's going to work." Just talking about money stresses her out. She just wants to be able to spend money on whatever she wants, and when that's her bottom line, there's not really a way to win.
Record her words, and play them back to her, and give her one chance to come to the table as a willing participant. If she does not, I would consider divorce. But depending on where you live, may be financial seppuku. At the very least make her get an income if she has none.
Old post but +100% agree on previous comments. Hopefully this guy has divorced his wife. She’s willingly to sacrifice her and his retirement, paid off mortgage, probably kids education fund for her purses, shoes, massages. Leave her, she’ll suck everyone done with her. Why why do people marry these “head-up-their-asses” partners who are willing to destroy and pull down everyone associated with them for things and more things and more things.
Whenever there is a spouse that doesn't work they are always the one blowing the money. Why? Because they don't realize how much effort goes into making that income, they have too much time on their hands, and they are usually more concerned about appearences because they don't have any sense of self value. There is an easy resolution for all of this.... tell them to get a damn job if they want to spend money like an NBA draft pick while shopping from the couch.
And many men only think of themselves when budgeting, not the bigger picture of the reality of what things costs and any work arounds or listen to women who know it. Many men wave their incomes around to catch the hottest, not the smartest women.
Never ever hold woman accountable on this channel. It's always the man's fault, on any situations. When a woman call they never hold her accountable. It's not just on this topic, it's on everything.
@@blackworldtraveler3711 that's not true you got to take the time to get to know someone you don't rush into anything people going to show you who they are if you paying attention but people quick to sleep with each other quick to rush into stuff and they get blinded by the stuff that they want
@@LG123ABC Don't need to be forever even though it may seem like forever for the guy being divorced. Women are known to hide their true colors long enough just to lock in alimony,child support,husband pays off her student loans,life insurance,will,etc...
Exactly. This guy should've put his foot down and set clear boundaries from the beginning. He spoiled her but now wants her to curbed her spending because he realized at the rate she's spending, he's gonna have to work for the rest of his life (or untill he drops dead) just for her to keep living in the lifestyle she's become accustomed to.
It amazes me that couples get married without having an agreement on how finances will be handled. My wife and I have only been married for a year but we came to an agreement on finances long before we got married and have never had a fight. It's embarrassing to me to hear someone come on to the show begging for help to get their spouse to agree with them. Pathetic!
This is a losing proposition keeping her around.Wigs lashes cloths shoes keeping up with the Jones kids bills the spending will never end.Get a routing number immediately and hide some of Your money in a Credit Union now.
I can’t imagine how miserable it must be to have an out of control partner frittering hard earned cash - I don’t think a day goes by without me being thankful I’m single…..
175k income 45k a year on the home ( bank, taxes,insurance, light) 9k a year on car payments High gas prices 6k Uncle Sam 25k The rest on junk 80k Fast food, shopping, entertainment
My brother is in a situation and now she asked for a divorce. She doesnt want to sell the house either hut then doesnt want to work to keep the house since she is getting a good chunk of my brothers pay in child support
Haha, Dave says he needs to treat her like a partner and not a child then immediately goes into a rant similar to when your child does something insanely stupid. Some people are still children and need to learn the hard way. "She needs input." She had that chance, he brought her the proposed budget and asked her opinion on it. She said she would TRY, not that she would. She needs restriction and accountability.
I these situations I think the wife if she doesn't work needs to think of her job as the CEO of the House and her job is to keep spending a X level or if she is a really good CEO she can save money, at the end of the year if she has saved enough money the family can use that to...go on a vacation or whatever else she might want to do but only spending up to the amount saved.
Almost every time a husband calls in with a wife that won't stick to the budget it is because "she isn't included" or "doesn't have a voice". Every time a wife calls in with a husband that won't stick to the plan it is because "he is a child and needs to grow up". So tired of this double standard on multiple Ramsay channels.
That's a little paranoid. I've been listening to these guys for several years, and you are just cherry-picking. Dave even says towards the end, you need a grown woman beside you.
You need to understand that Dave is old school. He believes that a real man is the head of the household and is ultimately responsible for the failure or success of that household. NO EXCUSES! It's called "Manning Up". I didn't get married to have help with income -- that's MY job.
The problem with the wife is that all she see is 175k and she thinks they are rich. 175k is really good money, but with over 100k debt kids and a mortgage, you can’t live that lifestyle! She needs to understand that! Inflation is through the roof!
Yep. They are living as if it is $275k
@@Originalman144 exactly!
175K is not that much. My husband and I bring in 385K together. It’s really how people decide to live. I’m more of a saver but my husband was born into money and grew up in a 2 million dollar house with his siblings. They all spend like crazy & don’t get why I STILL budget even if we make a decent income.
@@lorrainea.285 sounds like they know more about money than you. You should pick their brains, could learn something.
@@lorrainea.285 agree, too many folks unwilling to live under their means.
Prepaid card + wife needs a job. She's not acting responsibly for finances because she has no responsibility for them.
@@Austenfan177 weekend dad, no! You think I wanna work all week long and have the kids all to myself to look after?
An envelope for each budget item. He puts the allotment of cash in each envelope every week for her to use. She puts the receipts in each envelope and it better add up.
@@genxx2724 My wife and I both worked fulltime jobs with kids. This woman is just plain lazy.
@@jimroscovius She’s living the “Real Housewives” lifestyle.
You don’t just go around buying things for the kids willy-nilly. You know what’s going to be needed and you budget.
I thank God that my husband and I are on the same page which has enabled us to retire at 59 debt free.
Yup. When you don't care about material things then it's alot easier. My wife and I couldn't care less how nice our house and cars are.
I wish I would have done this at 15 instead of wasting money on partying and video games
@@leadnsteel1428 it’s called having a standard lol ….make more $ and you can afford nicer things …if you have a higher standard . there’s nothing wrong with wanting the best if you can pay for it . why should others only enjoy the finest things ….
Congratulations!
@@bangladeshirealtor His point is that he & his wife have learned that the "finest things" (as you put it) in life are not material things, and don't cost a lot of money.
@@Run4Ever77 that’s just your perspective . other people have values embedded in having nicer material things . that’s what they like purchasing and wearing , riding , or decorating with . and it always keeps one motivated to keep their productivity up because their values are tied into living a finer lifestyle through material items and experiences.
His wife is spending them down the river and he's trying to get it under control. Rachel: She's a great mom! A great wife!
Spare me.
My thoughts exactly!
After watching close to 50 of these videos Ramsey's organization has bias against men and bias for women. However Dave did say despite a high income they are essentially BROKE!
You're correct Rachel is way off base as to how self centered the vast majority of women are especially here in the States. If a man holds his wife accountable he is immediately seen as a abuser.
Spot on my man...Spot on!
His wife doesn’t even have a job, it’s all his money she’s spending. I don’t have an issue with more traditional women who want to run a household and whose husbands can afford it, but in the old days it was the woman keeping the family budget balanced! (And the men were working 80 hour weeks and the women usually worked from home in addition to running the household. Being able to stay home and raise kids with no other responsibilities is an incredible luxury only available to the wealthy.)
She’s pretending they’re rich when they are in 100k of debt.
thanks I didnt listen to the call
That's his fault partially. He spoiled her like that.
also thats not including their mortgage
Yup! He needs to put his foot down! I can understand some are decided on being one income families, but inflation is crazy high....making it really tough. and if she wants to spend spend spend, she needs to get herself a JOB!
@@antionneanderson9721 long long lost member of the Kardashian's
HE makes $175,000 and SHE spends more than that. He'll never be out of debt.
As a guy whose life and finances were turned upside down by a divorce, I can say for sure that my ex-wife and I not being able to get on the same page re: finances was a factor in the demise of our marriage. its an expensive problem to have if you can't work it out together.
I think pre-marital counselling should be compulsory. I know people who've married without discussing these things beforehand.
Though I miss her, I don’t miss drowning in debt and having to become Captain Creative each month moving money around to cover shortfalls. After three years, I’m almost done paying off the marital debt that I was forced to shoulder upon divorce. You hear guys brag about buying flashy cars and boats, but I’m buying a wheelbarrow...to carry around all the cash I’m saving.
@@Unami0929 glad it worked out for you!
AMEN!! 🙏🙏🙏
Same here
The phrase “ It’s cheaper to keep her “ does not apply in every case………speaking from experience 😂
It does if you have kids lol
Yea, here's seconding that comment! It was a hit, but divorce has been very positive overall and mostly because now I can fill the tub without someone kicking the plug every month.
@@js53168 I really hope my ex wife doesn't come back.
*It's ALWAYS cheaper to divorce them when they're younger.
*Don't wait till they in their 40-50s.
*They'll cripple you financially.
It’s just one of those things you have to get figured out before you decide to marry someone. I told my wife, your going to live like the spouse of a baggage handler, not a major airline pilot. She “got it.”
People live on $50-$60k/year all the time.
Yep we are 100% debt free...no mortgage...you can live quite well if smart on 50k to 60k while saving very well.
My wife has an awesome salary, and at this time, I don't. But we don't live like we have that salary. We paid off our house, bought our cars with cash, and have no debt. We love living on $60k.
Depends on where you live obviously! Cuz that’s not a lot of money at all! For a family of any size
@@mindoablues Splurging is great, as long as you get out of debt first.
@@reese85 People need to get out of those high cost areas.
He makes $175k, he pays the bills. I know he didn't say that but I can tell he does. But she controls the spending. They will never get on the same page. I can hear that in his voice, he's afraid to challenge her. I refuse to let someone pull me into a hole. He's going to work the rest of his life, not smart.
As several people have commented, we should all have pre-marital counselling!
She def wears the pants in this one, spot on
He said shes a homemaker so no she's don't work it's all him
I still have hope for love.. but man, these situations make me glad that I’m single 😂 I like having mostly complete financial control of my life.
They didn’t have the important conversations before getting married on how to be financially stable
My wife and I both have financial control.
Single life is a simple life
@@antionneanderson9721 Peace, quiet and freedom!
stay single
It's stunning how many couples see each other as trophies and trophy providers.
@4:53 "does she have ANY level of pain or stress around money...is she worried in any way?"
Caller: "not at all" 🤣
Saw that coming.
Im so happy my wife likes to save money!!!
Behind almost every man saving and investing well is a frugal wife making it all possible.
A trait I'd be looking for if I ever considered marriage again. One lying spendthrift was enough.
@TheUahahol, Good to find a wife who saves money,but horrible when she becomes obsessed with with saving money and cry about spending a dollar .
@@markg999This is demonstrably false, but it’s great when you’re married to a woman who gets it.
I’ve never made over $76k annually and have fully control of asset management
I’m in control at $40k
Then why are you here?
@@COINsimp2024 Because this is a constant learning process, silly.
@@KamalaTheClown ohhhhh you're one of those instant experts.
@@COINsimp2024 😘
You have to sit down as a family, kids and all. The daughters need to know that they cannot just get everything they want right now. She may be feeling the guilt that children impose on their parents when they are told NO! So include them too if some of the charges are for them as well.
The daughters need to know they can’t just get everything they want, period. Ever. I don’t care if their father is King Midas.
We included our kids when they were younger. They probably didn't take everything in, but at least they knew what was going on.
@@genxx2724 Thanks - I fixed it. Darn Swype 🤣
@@genxx2724 When my daughter was little, she threw a temper tantrum in the store because she wanted something and we said no. We just let her go. It didn't take long for her to realize that doesn't work, and she never did it again.
No young children don’t need to be burdened with adult financial responsibility. They deserve a great childhood with our worrying about parents issues. Kids internalize things yet are helpless to actually earn money. His daughters sound young. Their job is school, friends and playing. Quit trying to make them grown ups. They aren’t.
I learned the hard way in regards to couples not being on the same page financially. I pray his wife got on board.
I love this! Its a perfect example of how the way we view our situation can help change it. Its good to hear the caller recognized his responsibility as well as hers. I hope to works out for them.
Facts this was a great conversation
It doesn't matter how much money you make at the end of month it's about how much money you keep / invest!
Exactly but people don't seem to know that 😢
It's amazing how people don't get that.
No credit card allowed for anyone who can’t control themselves. She can have a cash budget weekly, then when it’s spent, it’s spent.
Then that needs to apply to both of them! She’s not a little girl who did her chores and gets an allowance at the end of the week. She’s a grown ass adult. And if he’s not working the budget to include her wants and needs properly then she has not been part of planning that budget then yes she’s going to spend. Because like they said she’s not part of the contract. She lives in his house takes care of his kids takes care of his house drives his car. Of course she’s going to do this!
It clearly does apply to him, he says he isn’t using the credit cards. He also says the wife isn’t using the cards for her own wants outside of their agreed budget. She is spending the money on their girls. I suspect she has trouble telling the girls no when she thinks mom and dad can afford it. That’s why she needs to understand that they are broke and cannot afford to give their kids a luxury lifestyle right now, not because of some BS. You cannot blame the kids either, because they probably don’t know the value of money.
TL;DR: Both husband and wife are in the wrong. The husband is treating his wife like a kid and the wife is acting like a child. You can say the wife acts like a kid because the husband treats her like one. You can say the husband treats his wife like a kid because she acts like one. The reality is it doesn’t matter, they both need to change and work together to have a successful marriage.
As it was stated, she had no say in the plan. She doesn’t see the value in the end. She is like a lot of people where you don’t see the impact until you are really impacted. For one she isn’t bringing in any income and sees a good income while living in Atlanta and taking that for granted. Allow her to be apart of the plan and she needs to go to work to really see where the money goes.
Always amazes me when it's someone living/spending so extravagantly....who doesn't even work! Geez....if you want to spend like that, go get a job!! We are at 9.1% inflation..can't believe people are still in denial....insane!
Maybe she has other...skills.
You just described my ex perfectly
I can see why they thought she should be able to stay at home with the kids! It really takes some effort to blow through over $175k a year, but she's doing it like it's nothing!
Inflation is much higher, they say 9.1% , because politics.
you described my ex perfectly as well.
He's calling from the parking lot of Phipps Plaza while she is inside... "just need to pick up a few items honey"
Lol 😂
🤣🤣🤣
Yes.😂😂😂
Phipps Plaza is Atlanta,s high end mall. Nothing in that mall is cheap.
I agree they need to do the budget together. Maybe they can also brainstorm ideas of go-to foods instead of eating out. It seems like they will need a lot of planning to make sure she is not spending on a whim. I am sad to see this. She makes stay-at-home moms look bad. There are so many women working within very tight budgets, looking at what they already have and use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without, who are saving the family money and raising wonderful, loving humans. Then you have someone who overspends with $175K income and acts like it's somehow benefitting the kids! I hope she sees the light soon!
If your wife won't listen to reason, FORCE HER ONTO AN ALLOWANCE! Better to fight in court rather than have someone stab you in the back every week.
It’s better to try treating her like an adult first before resorting to the nuclear option.
@AnonUser-b6y she's not being an audit, apart of being an adult is understanding money and not put your family in credit debt or spend more than you make. Until she learn money,
Rachel, there are financially malicious spouses out there.... I know some (they are acquaintances and colleagues). You both give women too much slack. Please understand not everyone is honorable.
You're friends with dishonorable people? Why?
Rachel goes straight to the "woe is me, women don't have agency" mindset, typical
@@ilai7893 female own group preference
Those ones will just tell the husband "make more money".
@@crzyruskie86 My reply: "lose some weight and give more BJ's".
Life is NOT "happening to her." Thats a bunch of nonsense. I used to tell my ex "life is not something that is being done to you." His wife needs to grow up.
My wife and I are in a similar situation, although not nearly as bad. We're debt-free except for the house, but she doesn't stick to the budget well. This video has made me think about our system, which we did discuss and she agreed to, but maybe it's been too long and we need to have a high-level conversation again. Or maybe I didn't get enough buy-in. She probably is not as engaged and interested in building wealth as I am. Got me thinking!
There has to be dialogue about lifestyle expectations- yours and hers. You might have little to no pressure put on you by your family and your peers about your appearance, giving gifts, how many activities your kids participate in, how your kids dress and whether they have "cool" stuff, but your wife and kids may be experiencing more pressure to keep up appearances which could have something to do with her spending. Something to consider.
Agree to a budget and pay yourself first on investments. Every dollar has a purpose. If she blows the budget on a category there won’t be enough there to cover it… and then when that happens you put her on a prepaid card or cash allowance equal to the agreed upon amount.
Same rules apply to you.
I can help her. I’m a Dave Ramsey Certified Financial Coach and I work specifically with Spenders. Her motivation for sticking to the budget won’t be the same as yours. Spenders live by different rules when it comes to money.
@@zoraster3749 your spouse doesn't get an "allowance", they're a spouse not a child.
That's not the solution. Having a monthly discussion and budgeting together is the solution. If you do that and both people have equal say in that, then everyone is clear on what needs to happen to get to the goal.
Does your wife work or is she a homemaker? Next experience is that friends who are homemakers live off their husband's and they love to spend his money when it's not their own
Her input is; your a plow horse, keep making money. I’ll spend what is needed.
Take those freaking creadit cards from her! Thats ridiculous!
Dave and Rachel are easily the best duo. There's not even a close second
I have made the same comment on other videos; no duo comes anywhere close to what these two bring!
Agree, but I also like the other hosts. George has grown on me!
They should be the only duo
Batman and Robin!
Anything without obnoxious bully John is ok!
If I was him and I had a spendy husband, I’d ask him to get a job!
I get the value of a homemaker but after the kids go into school, working part time is a very real option!
I try to avoid the situation altogether by not getting married or having kids in the first place. Aside from taxes and any contract I’ve entered, nobody gets a say in how the money I went to work for gets managed
He needs to sit down with his wife an a BLANK piece of paper and then make the budget/plan together. He can't do it all by himself and then expect her to feel any ownership in the plan. If they do that together and she STILL spends money, then that is another problem.
She’s never gonna be on board
Real simple
Close all accounts
Close all credit cards
File for divorce
Hilarious
One thing about this show, they seem to bash men a lot. They never ask the “single moms” how much they get in child support.....
never had a single mom call in...
@@ajones8008 then you don’t listen enough I’ve heard MANY
Guy has no clue what everyday items costs for 2 adults and 2 ever growing and changing kids in these times. Amazing how utterly clueless men are at non reality based budgets. My ex made many that did not contain, food, clothing, medical, school supplies, gas, vehicle costs, propane or any thing but bills that were mailed to us. He learned the hard way, when I divorced his man child world view and 2008 ate up a good deal of our pension savings. This dude is likely a sad remenant of patriarchy and clueless beyond what he makes, failing to see the importance of her role so he can even make that.
Women are expensive. Choose wisely.
Very true
Pick one with a college degree that's not a barbie or princess.
💯
@@Primitive_Code Excellent start!
@C M Not if the woman is a doctor, accountant, lawyer, etc. I know many women who make more than their husbands.
It doesn't matter if your income is excellent (it's a blessing! Yes!). If you're spending more than when you're earning you're ALWAYS going to be in debt! Loving this show my the way. Papa Ramsey Rocks!
Wife and I lived on 45k for four years when we had our first kid. It wasn’t easy but it is doable. We shopped second hand, wore hand me downs, we had one car which was a hooptie and didn’t eat at restaurants. I worked the 9-5 grind and my wife had a weekend side hustle but we made it happen with a newborn.
That's good, you and wife was willing to live comfortably with a newborn not having a panic attack well things pop up on your way, you were ready to pay those bills.
Should have not had a kid though
@@lucass7968 Why not have a kid? We now have two kids. What’s the problem with the kid/kids?
@@KamalaTheClown I need to
add to the sentence--Should have not had a kid unless your gross income was much higher, at least 60k.
@@lucass7968 , His wife works weekend. He is good in budgeting and just a temporary hardship that will lead to better future.
I love it when Ramsey gets pissed off by those stupid mistakes that people do...
This is why it is sometimes good to have separate accounts.
Listening to this guy it's clear he's at his wit's end. Someone else might have to get the message through to her. If she still doesn't want to cooperate, a divorce is going to be the only option. What a nightmare to have to live with.
Spending 175k is cheaper than a divorce 😂
@@RedeemedRogueMolecules spending the entire salary is cheaper than the divorce, you have to be kidding. In any case I'd get the divorce, pay her one time and stay single.
@@texan903 if he’s making all the money! He all has to do is freeze her cards, but he doesn’t! So he’s part of the problem as well
@@reese85 💯 percent right!!
Yep, and you won’t hear this accurate advice from them because they’re christain and wouldn’t suggest that
She will have to cook!
Yep... Homemaker.... User.... Now has to homemake.
Women don’t know how to cook anymore
@@brianthomas3451 Do you know how to cook? Every adult should know how to prepare nutritious meals.
@@Mint-kj9kw He's busy working a full time job. She needs to get off her behind and find the stove.
She needs to cook, and the way she is blowing through money, I bet she is buying out for more than just dinner!
It’s funny how it’s always the man’s responsibility to make the wife do right. But when it’s the wife calling about the husband he’s lazy, immature or controlling. Just an observation 🤷🏻♂️
Social programming nowadays. Man = Wrong. Woman = Right. Automatically
Rachel nailed it at the end. Caller’s wife doesn’t have any skin in the game. She doesn’t feel like there’s anything in it for her.
Yeah, the wife is just kind of dumb. Being married to a top earner in the US and she doesn't cherish the lifestyle........
Seeing Dave shake his head in the beginning cracked me up.
What time stamp? I didn't see it
3:16 and 3:36
Mario, I know your pain and there are two paths this will take. Either she becomes a valued partner or a single mom.
I don’t see how they helped at all. They didn’t even listen when he said she agreed to the budget and just won’t stick to it because she’s not worried.
I’ve heard the same call with the genders reversed and it goes very differently. The man is told to grow up. He isn’t treating her like a teenager, she is acting like one.
Divorce her I did. Got very exhaused over the years. I now have a retirement and she does not. I could not be happier.
Rachel is getting there. She may well anchor this show someday.
She did great, she needs to take that next step and do what Dave just did and give it to him straight
Rachel knows Dave, she has her whole life, knows what makes him tick and how to handle him.
It would be good if she got financial education and qualifications.
She’s a world class communicator
@@RedeemedRogueMolecules No she’s not. She babbles and she doesn’t enunciate.
It’s very simple. Both spouses work, split all bills, separate bank accounts. We have done this for 41 years, never has been any money problems. Paid off the house in 5 years, large investment portfolio. No spouse is the others ATM.
Sad truth is she has a addiction and she won't change unless she wants it.
Good job Rachel 👍
NO WIFE..BIG SAVINGS!!
👍
I learned the hard way with my Ex wife 😆😆
No Wife, stress free life
The word "wife" is of Germanic origin. Translated literally, it means "financial and emotional burden".
I'm sure u guys are living ur best life. A life without meaning and purpose. Why are u down here living 'life'?
She married a very successful man; she has no reason to change. If he tries to force it, he loses BIG time in the divorce settlement with alimony and child support.
Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt and the commemorative hat.
Bingo
Agree , that’s why she is the wrong woman .
Racist
Perhaps she will have an unfortunate accident?
It’s great that Mario is on board…if he were single! This wife is a major liability🤦♀️ she stays home and plans, plans to spend money. She needs to get a job! Otherwise, she’s a little girl. Rachel, you’re sweet, I feel like you’ve been so shielded so you don’t see how crummy people can be.
Agreed with you. 💯💯💯
I prefer my wife stay home, raise the kids and take care of the house. As a man, I don't need any help providing an income.
When he brings in $175k, it is reasonable for them to both believe she should be able to stay at home. She just needs to grow up and act like an adult in her own life. No, she can't go out for breakfast/lunch/dinner or spend her free time shopping!
@@LG123ABC right but if she were like this woman, would you feel the same?
He chose her as his wife.. there’s a whole other side to these types of couples and it’s the man who wants to feel in charge and have a dependent wife.. well, you got what you wanted!!!
How can you make $175k a year and still have debt. This is the problem with America.
It depends on where you live! 175k is decent
Caller is in Atlanta, a very inexpensive city, relatively speaking. You can live very well in Atlanta on 175k, while saving alot
Doesn't matter how much you make, there's always ways to spend it. $100K cars, spendy vacations, expensive clothes. Eating out is always expensive. You have to choose to save.
It's not the country's fault that people are dumb.
Sell wife, pay debt, get jacked, save up $ and buy sports car 😎
I was married to someone like this for decades. They will never stop and they don’t care. They will always have an excuse. Don’t let a woman work you into the ground my man.
see this is the problem I have with my husband. But he DOES sit down and do the budget, and agrees to it, but then just doesn't follow it....like month after month....so what do you do then?
Sell the husband. Rice and beans.
That's not a financial problem, it's a marital problem. What other commitments is he not honoring?
I don't have the patience for that sort of thing.
Take charge of all the financies
Give him prepaid cards or a cash allowance where he “can’t” exceed the budget.
I really loved this episode. So so practical. Thanks
Funny how Rachel kept wanting to give the woman the benefit of the doubt. You females definitely stick together.
The overspending wife actually got praise! Great mom. Great wife. Give me a break.
Because we realize the amount of work it takes raising a family. We are the primary shoppers for the family. Children are expensive to raise. My husband is happy when I buy our children clothing it shows I’m taking care of them. Give me a break
"Its life" lol dave had to be rolling his eyes.
ONCE AGAIN- free pass for “Daddy’s little princess”
This is the thing about Rachel and other financial planners that bother me. I am the same as this guy. I’ll be all in and my wife will say she is also. I’ll ask her to help me make a budget or make her own draft of a budget and she has no interest and asks me to do it and show it to her. Than I’ll make one and give it to her and ask her what she would like to change or what might not work and she will tell me she thinks it’s great the way it is. For a time she’ll do it, but sooner or later it’s back to credit card spending. I’m not dictating anything to anyone, I’m begging for participation and begging for her to tell me how she thinks it would work best. She feels zero financial pressure and I lose sleep some nights. It’s exactly how this guy sounds and they tell him that he’s dictating and inferring that he’s falsely accusing his wife of malice when he never said anything of the sort. He’s probably like me, I adore my wife, in every way other than financial she’s just about perfect, but this suggestion that he’s the issue here for not including her in the planning, just no.
One of my mentors told me becoming wealthy is rare and extremely difficult, but being a wealthy man in a happy marriage is impossible
A lot of wealthy people are happily married. It's easier to get somewhere when you have two sets of eyes on the same goal.
@@TShirtAndReeboks where are you getting your info?
Most divorces happen due to financial reasons and they're mostly filed by the wife
Also not to mention it's borderline impossible to get two people to see eye-to-eye with their life goals
We're all different and have unique sets of expectations
Dang the comment section is brutal! Hopefully this couple can properly team up and implement some spending barriers together before going with a nuclear solution as suggested by many. These kinds of calls make me grateful that my wife and I are on the same page. :)
Same here!!
I’m glad it’s brutal tbh. People like the caller need a wakeup call. Especially now with inflation through the roof. If he loses his job, they’re done.
The reality is probably more brutal than the comment section.
I feel like they really excused the partner of any wrong doing on this one. It's easy to spend money and not want to save as the person spending it
She's used to the spending & he's used to allowing it. Yes, become partners are work it out.
The second hardest thing to do on the road to financial independence. The first is choosing to get your own self on the road. If your spouse is not on board (and has a spending problem) then I can't see how it would work.
The question is, if you have a fruit tree and it is not bearing fruit. Cut it off.
I feel for this guy. My wife's similar, and she has even said to me, "you figure out the budget and tell me how it's going to work." Just talking about money stresses her out. She just wants to be able to spend money on whatever she wants, and when that's her bottom line, there's not really a way to win.
sounds like you need a new wife
Record her words, and play them back to her, and give her one chance to come to the table as a willing participant. If she does not, I would consider divorce. But depending on where you live, may be financial seppuku. At the very least make her get an income if she has none.
Why did we get married again?
Old post but +100% agree on previous comments. Hopefully this guy has divorced his wife. She’s willingly to sacrifice her and his retirement, paid off mortgage, probably kids education fund for her purses, shoes, massages. Leave her, she’ll suck everyone done with her. Why why do people marry these “head-up-their-asses” partners who are willing to destroy and pull down everyone associated with them for things and more things and more things.
Wait a minute, she doesn't work and they eat out all the time? What is this woman doing all day?
Whenever there is a spouse that doesn't work they are always the one blowing the money. Why? Because they don't realize how much effort goes into making that income, they have too much time on their hands, and they are usually more concerned about appearences because they don't have any sense of self value. There is an easy resolution for all of this.... tell them to get a damn job if they want to spend money like an NBA draft pick while shopping from the couch.
Cut up the cards! His wife needs to go to classes to learn the insanity of using debt vs savings/investing. Improve communication in the marriage.
His wife will do what she wants or she will divorce and weaponize those kids.
And many men only think of themselves when budgeting, not the bigger picture of the reality of what things costs and any work arounds or listen to women who know it. Many men wave their incomes around to catch the hottest, not the smartest women.
Never ever hold woman accountable on this channel. It's always the man's fault, on any situations. When a woman call they never hold her accountable. It's not just on this topic, it's on everything.
100%
Once again whenever the wife spends too much Dave still finds a way to make it the husband's fault
Never marry someone who can't keep their word is it only gets worse from there
You won't know until you're married.
@@blackworldtraveler3711 that's not true you got to take the time to get to know someone you don't rush into anything people going to show you who they are if you paying attention but people quick to sleep with each other quick to rush into stuff and they get blinded by the stuff that they want
@@blackworldtraveler3711 That's why I believe in LONG engagements (at least a year). People can't hide their true colors forever.
@@LG123ABC
Don't need to be forever even though it may seem like forever for the guy being divorced.
Women are known to hide their true colors long enough just to lock in alimony,child support,husband pays off her student loans,life insurance,will,etc...
Never marry a clueless man that seperates costs based on what he thinks not what he knows.
At some point, the man has to be one. Tell her no.
Divorce her
It's his own fault, should have reigned her in from DAY ONE, now he's going to have to teach her undo those bad behaviours.
Exactly.
This guy should've put his foot down and set clear boundaries from the beginning.
He spoiled her but now wants her to curbed her spending because he realized at the rate she's spending, he's gonna have to work for the rest of his life (or untill he drops dead) just for her to keep living in the lifestyle she's become accustomed to.
@@terriesmith2616 so right. He may well end up with a lot of health problems.
Some women need a firm hand.
She is an adult! She should know not to spend more than they make!
It amazes me that couples get married without having an agreement on how finances will be handled. My wife and I have only been married for a year but we came to an agreement on finances long before we got married and have never had a fight. It's embarrassing to me to hear someone come on to the show begging for help to get their spouse to agree with them. Pathetic!
Married for lust
this is an awesome video, educational . thanks for uploading
Dude it's called a routing number.Its really easy to spend other people's money.
This is a losing proposition keeping her around.Wigs lashes cloths shoes keeping up with the Jones kids bills the spending will never end.Get a routing number immediately and hide some of Your money in a Credit Union now.
I do all the budgeting and I am so thankful my husband is on board and is also frugal. I can see why money issues could cause divorce!
Dudes keep falling for these despicable women!!! Sad! I love Dave response!! She’s immature and does not respect this man!
I can’t imagine how miserable it must be to have an out of control partner frittering hard earned cash - I don’t think a day goes by without me being thankful I’m single…..
Amen to that
If you make most of the money in the marriage and your wife or husband won't listen or help. Simple take money access away.
Rachel keeps interrupting
Open a separate account and give your wife spending money.
175k income
45k a year on the home
( bank, taxes,insurance, light)
9k a year on car payments
High gas prices 6k
Uncle Sam 25k
The rest on junk 80k
Fast food, shopping, entertainment
Uncle Sam is taking way more than 25k! Prob more like 40-50k
My brother is in a situation and now she asked for a divorce. She doesnt want to sell the house either hut then doesnt want to work to keep the house since she is getting a good chunk of my brothers pay in child support
Haha, Dave says he needs to treat her like a partner and not a child then immediately goes into a rant similar to when your child does something insanely stupid. Some people are still children and need to learn the hard way.
"She needs input." She had that chance, he brought her the proposed budget and asked her opinion on it. She said she would TRY, not that she would. She needs restriction and accountability.
Wow, I hate outstanding debts and I don't buy if I can't afford it.
Why are you here?
@@COINsimp2024 Because he agrees with Dave? Why are you here?
I these situations I think the wife if she doesn't work needs to think of her job as the CEO of the House and her job is to keep spending a X level or if she is a really good CEO she can save money, at the end of the year if she has saved enough money the family can use that to...go on a vacation or whatever else she might want to do but only spending up to the amount saved.
Almost every time a husband calls in with a wife that won't stick to the budget it is because "she isn't included" or "doesn't have a voice". Every time a wife calls in with a husband that won't stick to the plan it is because "he is a child and needs to grow up". So tired of this double standard on multiple Ramsay channels.
That's how Ramsey is. He's never going to change that's why I can't wait till he retires and younger voices take over
Racist
@@Tunechi65 Well, the caller in this case did agree that Dave is right
That's a little paranoid. I've been listening to these guys for several years, and you are just cherry-picking. Dave even says towards the end, you need a grown woman beside you.
You need to understand that Dave is old school. He believes that a real man is the head of the household and is ultimately responsible for the failure or success of that household. NO EXCUSES!
It's called "Manning Up". I didn't get married to have help with income -- that's MY job.
Automate everything. Figure out the math and auto pay the debt as soon as check comes in. Can't spend what you don't have
She is spending like a drunken sailor because she is unhappy. She will break him and then leave him.
Grateful that my wife actually listens to my plans lol. If she didn't we would not have gotten far.
I think you missed the message here; they are saying it has to be “our” plan, devised together.
@@toriesout2702 each's own lol. My wife understands MY plan to keep us out of debt and goes along with it because she trust MY vision.
@@Tony_Wes I agree but I would say it like I told my wife a plan and she agreed to it so it's now our plan
This is getting old but Is the only answer: Give a chance for therapy or divorce.