Thank you for showing up everyday for your child. Even if you loose some battles, it is making a difference in your child's life. Thank you for educating yourself on ADHD and parenting techniques. Your child may not show appreciation now, but when he is older, he will recognize that he had a parent that loved him, and was willing to do what it took to help him. My parents just shipped me off to boarding schools, & sleep away summer camps, and I had to learn to parent myself with books. You on the other hand are already doing way better than you give yourself credit for. Hang in there, it will be worth it! ❤️
Wow! This is full of so much great information! I wish my parents had this information available with me 30 years ago, it would have probably made a major impact on my life. Thanks for sharing
Thank you for the clarification about the difference between an extra chore and a major maintenance. I think I have had too much of an adult skill level mindset, and gave chores that were too big. I noticed that it didn't work, so I started giving jumping jacks instead. That has helped, but I think I'll transition back to extra chores again, remembering to keep in mind their developmental stages and current abilities to focus. I really appreciate these videos; even when it seems like you're saying basically the same thing, there's always some new tidbit to catch.
anything other than extra chores? my two brothers basically wont do anything in their life. i dont know how to give them consequence other than forcefully confiscated their video games that will lead to major melt down later on.
Thank you for not giving up on your children, and educating yourself on ADHD so you can help them. They may not show it now, but they will appreciate what you are doing when they are older.
I’ve tried this with my 11 year old son and he flips out. He says he hates it and wants me to stop using the calm, voice and body on him because it makes him angrier. I told him he had an extra chore of drying the dishes and he flatly refused. Any suggestions? I’m finding motherhood very difficult.
Well done on using calmness! Great step in the right direction! It sounds like you could be lacking some skills that could really benefit you, such as the Rule of Three (ruclips.net/video/1EVYVgWiJtc/видео.html). Also, pre-teaching what you're doing and what will happen depending on your child's choice is crucial as well. If you want to know a whole lot more about this, please look into my online TSG Parenting Course (teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/). It's helped so many families in your same situation. I hope this helps!
I have an ADHD child and she is 11, And my question is when I give her the extra chore because of her not following the steps, she'll often do a job 1/2 way, or often lie that she did it, but didn't. Do you ck on the chore your kiddo did, or how would you recommend dealing with lying in those situations? Thank you so much for a very helpful video!😊👍
I don’t believe trying to always talk your way through works. My grandchild has ADHD and 99% of the time she just doesn’t focus. She has issues in school and has trouble getting along with her sister. We have tried the calm approach, the talking approach, so unless we as a family have no emotion most of the time, this approach isn’t working.
My daughter is adhd- posttramic stress. She try’s hard but hard for her also. Our 5/6. Child . We give her space to be hyper sing etc but now behavior in school is worsening. Ignores theacher. She ignore her , walking and talking Orr singing in class , de can be sweet and then yesterday she stole from a store(cheap sucker) but no matter it was wrong so definitely punish to her room. We’ve tried everything that we think of. I’m a grandma and I don’t interfere but think there gotta be better ways befor her insure froth will decide bab is good. Things have Gita hard cuz new by in last 5 month and mom is pregnant. Not sure she’d excited about brother. She’ll alway been hyper but last 2 weeks it’s just rolls eyes & dismisses. What I do is make eye focus grounded her to her room with no tv and she witness but then open her bedroom talking to us so we all start yelling your punished bu us (adults) don’t know well else to do. We all have there’s but I leave it to mom. The just thinks she can get her out and no we back mom. Thinks soooo bad and turned bad(no had). She new she stole cuz she lied about it to us all til Tory came together. Her mom has very very limited insurance to get child therpy and possibly meds. Don’t let me forget she had been visiting him. He has been heron and definitelyk ow shop lifter. He is out of rehab so we will see , she was at store a stole and shame on I missed it. She knew she stole it cuz she lied and tried to cover it all us. Her n her mom have been with my more normal steady life . No judgment but her mom is young and seemed to move her every year. I feelt like that would help stable everything. Anyway it’s getting 40% worse I. 2 weeks. Is their anyway we can have a list or anything. Fixed in come with family of 5. Please help leeza_1969@hotmail.com. Any advice or help you can spare please help me contact them
Child has calmly been asked to follow instructions, but will not choose to look at me or calm down and is lashing out at another person or property. Child needs to stop immediately. What do you recommend parent or guardian do in that moment?
Not an expert but isolation is probably the best thing to do in that moment. Whether that be in their own room or another, leave them until they are calm, if they lash out again leave them again. Once they have calmed down have a few minutes of discussion over the behaviour, let them know feeling sad upset or angry is fine however, the way it is presenting is wrong. Move any objects that can cause harm out of the room. Also when doing this be mindful of emotions, you need to do it almost as though you are a robot if your happy or angry while doing the task this can have negative comments consequences on the consequence itself.
Hi Kristen. Great question! The soft hold is something I learned while doing foster care. It's a certain type of hold to be used when children are physically aggressive and could possibly hurt other people/property. In a nutshell, the soft hold looks like this: get your child on their knees, then straddle their legs with yours (you're on your knees). Then, cross their arms across their chest and hold with one of your arms, then use your remaining arm/hand to hold their head back against your shoulder by placing your hand on their forehead. If you want more specific information on this, this would be a great question for my Support Group calls. You can find more information about those here: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
Good tips, but what if it's the same thing, over, and over, and over? I'm talking about a 12 y/o. He says he understands what he's doing is wrong and that it gets him consequences, but he still does these things. He tries to hide it, so it's not like he doesn't know what he's doing. Thanks
I'd love to go more in depth on this question! Since it's too long to type out here, I've added your question to the list of questions I'm going to answer on my Support Call this Wednesday (March 15) morning at 8am Mountain time. If you'd like to be present for the answer and discuss it with me and have access to it after the call is done, here's a link for you: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope to hear from you!
How can this applied to school teachers with students who have adhd, specifically early childcare? Do you have any programs that help teachers gain these skills in the classroom? Thanks!
Sorry for the late response! We don't currently have a set curriculum for teachers, but we're working on it! We have done a podcast on the subject, thought. Here's the link for that: teachingselfgovernment.com/parenting-blog/podcast/podcast-118-tsg-in-the-classroom/ I hope this helps!
Im frustrated, exasperated with my kid with ADHD ..Ive got to a level where Im now convinced that Im the one with the syndrome not him. The noise is crazy..phew!
If you see signs that a kid has ADHD how do you go about it to make sure ? Or if you see a kid that has an eating problem, like nit picking or having like 3 bites and not eating anymore, is that a sign of autism adhd or just autism?
Sorry for the late response! Those are great questions! The full response to your questions is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your questions on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!
“Accept no answers and criticism.” I am new to watching your videos and I have ADHD, which leads me to explain how I hear that sentence the way you run it all together in every one of your videos. Accept no answers. Johnny, how much is 2 + 2? Four I will not accept that answer. Johnny you are a slow worker. I will not accept that criticism. So….. Maybe say it like “The child should be pre-instructed to accept a possible “no” answer to their request.” And “A child should be pre-instructed on accepting a point of criticism when needed.” (Just my small criticism to your point of delivery) I love your mission to train all of us about the concept of self-governing (also found in the Bible in II Peter 1:5-7), and I’m anxious to watch all of your videos.
My son is so violent this will never work he's been hospitalized so many times and he's currently on 6 dif meds that aren't working for him the Dr doesn't even know what else to prescribe 🥺😞
Same here and I can tell that sports help , it does not eliminate the problem but helps to release part of that energy … of course it comes with the challenges of frustration and failure management but worthy to explore for you child
That is quite the situation! The full response to your comment is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your questions on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!
Anyone. Notice their child has adhd and is on the medication Concerta that they have a tick because my son has developed it for the last two months I don’t know if it’s because of the medication or not is it a smart idea to stop it stop the medication for a couple days and see if it goes away if it goes away then I know where do we just keep it on until we see the doctor Please help 😢
Sorry for the late response! I'm not sure this is the right platform for this inquiry. I'd contact your doctor and see if it's something related to the medication or not.
I'm sorry you struggled to understand. I have a few other videos on this same topic. Maybe they would explain things better. ruclips.net/video/KgvYiP7YOs8/видео.html&pp=ygUTbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgYWRoZA%3D%3D ruclips.net/video/HNbsAQHgQks/видео.html&pp=ygUTbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgYWRoZA%3D%3D ruclips.net/video/oY1MJ55Yf1E/видео.html&pp=ygUTbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgYWRoZA%3D%3D I hope this helps!
![Summer Walker - Heart Of A Woman [Official Lyric Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/SFddctbZzw8/mqdefault.jpg)
Having a kids with adhd is tough, thank you for these tips
You're welcome!
Thank you for not giving up on your children, and educating yourself on ADHD so you can help them.
Watching this in tears. I'm struggling with my 5 year old
I lose this battle daily.. my son and I both are exhausted. 😩
I know how it's feels :(
I'm sorry it's been such a battle! I hope you've found some helpful tips.
Goodluck im almost 32 and my mum still has daily battles with me lol
Thank you for showing up everyday for your child. Even if you loose some battles, it is making a difference in your child's life. Thank you for educating yourself on ADHD and parenting techniques. Your child may not show appreciation now, but when he is older, he will recognize that he had a parent that loved him, and was willing to do what it took to help him. My parents just shipped me off to boarding schools, & sleep away summer camps, and I had to learn to parent myself with books. You on the other hand are already doing way better than you give yourself credit for. Hang in there, it will be worth it! ❤️
Wow! This is full of so much great information! I wish my parents had this information available with me 30 years ago, it would have probably made a major impact on my life. Thanks for sharing
I feel the same way! But now you can be that parent who has the information and can use it with your own family!
Thank you for the clarification about the difference between an extra chore and a major maintenance. I think I have had too much of an adult skill level mindset, and gave chores that were too big. I noticed that it didn't work, so I started giving jumping jacks instead. That has helped, but I think I'll transition back to extra chores again, remembering to keep in mind their developmental stages and current abilities to focus.
I really appreciate these videos; even when it seems like you're saying basically the same thing, there's always some new tidbit to catch.
What a great realization! I hope all goes well!
anything other than extra chores? my two brothers basically wont do anything in their life. i dont know how to give them consequence other than forcefully confiscated their video games that will lead to major melt down later on.
Thank you for not giving up on your children, and educating yourself on ADHD so you can help them. They may not show it now, but they will appreciate what you are doing when they are older.
This is EXACTLY what I have been looking for!
I'm so glad!
I’ve tried this with my 11 year old son and he flips out. He says he hates it and wants me to stop using the calm, voice and body on him because it makes him angrier. I told him he had an extra chore of drying the dishes and he flatly refused. Any suggestions? I’m finding motherhood very difficult.
Well done on using calmness! Great step in the right direction! It sounds like you could be lacking some skills that could really benefit you, such as the Rule of Three (ruclips.net/video/1EVYVgWiJtc/видео.html). Also, pre-teaching what you're doing and what will happen depending on your child's choice is crucial as well.
If you want to know a whole lot more about this, please look into my online TSG Parenting Course (teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/). It's helped so many families in your same situation.
I hope this helps!
I can relate so much😭
This is all great but how do you do this to older children without being condescending
I have an ADHD child and she is 11, And my question is when I give her the extra chore because of her not following the steps, she'll often do a job 1/2 way, or often lie that she did it, but didn't. Do you ck on the chore your kiddo did, or how would you recommend dealing with lying in those situations? Thank you so much for a very helpful video!😊👍
Assigning an extra chore results in more defiance, suggestions?
Loss of privileges until they complete the extra chores. Remind them that privileges like tv, phone and computer have to be *earned.*
I don’t believe trying to always talk your way through works. My grandchild has ADHD and 99% of the time she just doesn’t focus. She has issues in school and has trouble getting along with her sister. We have tried the calm approach, the talking approach, so unless we as a family have no emotion most of the time, this approach isn’t working.
My daughter is adhd- posttramic stress. She try’s hard but hard for her also. Our 5/6. Child . We give her space to be hyper sing etc but now behavior in school is worsening. Ignores theacher. She ignore her , walking and talking Orr singing in class , de can be sweet and then yesterday she stole from a store(cheap sucker) but no matter it was wrong so definitely punish to her room. We’ve tried everything that we think of. I’m a grandma and I don’t interfere but think there gotta be better ways befor her insure froth will decide bab is good. Things have Gita hard cuz new by in last 5 month and mom is pregnant. Not sure she’d excited about brother. She’ll alway been hyper but last 2 weeks it’s just rolls eyes & dismisses. What I do is make eye focus grounded her to her room with no tv and she witness but then open her bedroom talking to us so we all start yelling your punished bu us (adults) don’t know well else to do. We all have there’s but I leave it to mom. The just thinks she can get her out and no we back mom. Thinks soooo bad and turned bad(no had). She new she stole cuz she lied about it to us all til Tory came together. Her mom has very very limited insurance to get child therpy and possibly meds. Don’t let me forget she had been visiting him. He has been heron and definitelyk ow shop lifter. He is out of rehab so we will see , she was at store a stole and shame on I missed it. She knew she stole it cuz she lied and tried to cover it all us. Her n her mom have been with my more normal steady life . No judgment but her mom is young and seemed to move her every year. I feelt like that would help stable everything. Anyway it’s getting 40% worse I. 2 weeks. Is their anyway we can have a list or anything. Fixed in come with family of 5. Please help leeza_1969@hotmail.com. Any advice or help you can spare please help me contact them
Child has calmly been asked to follow instructions, but will not choose to look at me or calm down and is lashing out at another person or property. Child needs to stop immediately. What do you recommend parent or guardian do in that moment?
The only thing I have seen so far is on the chart I have which says “soft hold.” I have TSG book but it does not talk about what soft hold is.
Not an expert but isolation is probably the best thing to do in that moment. Whether that be in their own room or another, leave them until they are calm, if they lash out again leave them again. Once they have calmed down have a few minutes of discussion over the behaviour, let them know feeling sad upset or angry is fine however, the way it is presenting is wrong. Move any objects that can cause harm out of the room.
Also when doing this be mindful of emotions, you need to do it almost as though you are a robot if your happy or angry while doing the task this can have negative comments consequences on the consequence itself.
Hi Kristen. Great question! The soft hold is something I learned while doing foster care. It's a certain type of hold to be used when children are physically aggressive and could possibly hurt other people/property. In a nutshell, the soft hold looks like this: get your child on their knees, then straddle their legs with yours (you're on your knees). Then, cross their arms across their chest and hold with one of your arms, then use your remaining arm/hand to hold their head back against your shoulder by placing your hand on their forehead.
If you want more specific information on this, this would be a great question for my Support Group calls. You can find more information about those here: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I have adhd add and
Sensory processing disorder, diary, depression, anger issues and aggression issue
Goodness! It sounds like you found Self-Government at a good time, then! I wish you the best!
Omg I remember you from the World’s Strictest Parents Utah episode! 🙌♥️🔥🔥🔥
Sorry for the late response! Yes, that's me! It was a great experience!
Good tips, but what if it's the same thing, over, and over, and over? I'm talking about a 12 y/o. He says he understands what he's doing is wrong and that it gets him consequences, but he still does these things. He tries to hide it, so it's not like he doesn't know what he's doing. Thanks
I'd love to go more in depth on this question! Since it's too long to type out here, I've added your question to the list of questions I'm going to answer on my Support Call this Wednesday (March 15) morning at 8am Mountain time. If you'd like to be present for the answer and discuss it with me and have access to it after the call is done, here's a link for you: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I hope to hear from you!
I have the same issue and it’s breaking us apart as a family I’m not coping
Thanks 🎉❤😊
Thank you madam
You're welcome!
How can this applied to school teachers with students who have adhd, specifically early childcare? Do you have any programs that help teachers gain these skills in the classroom? Thanks!
My sons teacher has called 4 times and she thinks he should be on meds and thinks thats the cure
Sorry for the late response! We don't currently have a set curriculum for teachers, but we're working on it! We have done a podcast on the subject, thought. Here's the link for that:
teachingselfgovernment.com/parenting-blog/podcast/podcast-118-tsg-in-the-classroom/
I hope this helps!
Im frustrated, exasperated with my kid with ADHD ..Ive got to a level where Im now convinced that Im the one with the syndrome not him. The noise is crazy..phew!
If you see signs that a kid has ADHD how do you go about it to make sure ? Or if you see a kid that has an eating problem, like nit picking or having like 3 bites and not eating anymore, is that a sign of autism adhd or just autism?
Sorry for the late response! Those are great questions! The full response to your questions is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your questions on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too!
If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information:
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I hope this helps!
“Accept no answers and criticism.”
I am new to watching your videos and I have ADHD, which leads me to explain how I hear that sentence the way you run it all together in every one of your videos.
Accept no answers.
Johnny, how much is 2 + 2?
Four
I will not accept that answer.
Johnny you are a slow worker.
I will not accept that criticism.
So…..
Maybe say it like
“The child should be pre-instructed to accept a possible “no” answer to their request.”
And
“A child should be pre-instructed on accepting a point of criticism when needed.”
(Just my small criticism to your point of delivery)
I love your mission to train all of us about the concept of self-governing (also found in the Bible in II Peter 1:5-7), and I’m anxious to watch all of your videos.
Thanks for sharing!
What is a extra choor?
An extra chore is an age-appropriate task that helps to teach cause and effect for negative behaviors.
My son is so violent this will never work he's been hospitalized so many times and he's currently on 6 dif meds that aren't working for him the Dr doesn't even know what else to prescribe 🥺😞
God bless …. I hope things are getting better … does he have a favorite activity? Maybe get him into sports to help him regulate his anger
Same here and I can tell that sports help , it does not eliminate the problem but helps to release part of that energy … of course it comes with the challenges of frustration and failure management but worthy to explore for you child
@linamarie9924
That is quite the situation! The full response to your comment is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your questions on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too!
If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information:
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I hope this helps!
This sounds exactly like the family teacher model
I love that you're making connections!
Videos like these help so very much, thank you for your help ❤️
Anyone. Notice their child has adhd and is on the medication Concerta that they have a tick because my son has developed it for the last two months I don’t know if it’s because of the medication or not is it a smart idea to stop it stop the medication for a couple days and see if it goes away if it goes away then I know where do we just keep it on until we see the doctor
Please help 😢
Sorry for the late response! I'm not sure this is the right platform for this inquiry. I'd contact your doctor and see if it's something related to the medication or not.
Take my money! 💰
If you'd like to know where you can purchase product, here's the link:
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/
I hope you find what you're looking for!
very cool. thanks! @@TeachingSelfGovernment
I have 3 it’s extremely hard
There are lots of people in situations similar to yours. There's hope! You've got this!
teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/
Are you suggesting we raise a generation of super kids?
Wouldn't that be awesome!
I have adhd and this sounded like a bunch of gibberish could you say this in a mor interesting way
I'm sorry you struggled to understand. I have a few other videos on this same topic. Maybe they would explain things better.
ruclips.net/video/KgvYiP7YOs8/видео.html&pp=ygUTbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgYWRoZA%3D%3D
ruclips.net/video/HNbsAQHgQks/видео.html&pp=ygUTbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgYWRoZA%3D%3D
ruclips.net/video/oY1MJ55Yf1E/видео.html&pp=ygUTbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgYWRoZA%3D%3D
I hope this helps!
If you don't like the way she presents, don't watch.