Friendships with Gay Men (when lines get blurred)
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- Опубликовано: 20 окт 2024
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Developing friendships with gay men can be challenging when the line between platonic friends, friends with benefits, fuck buddies is blurred.
In this episode, we talk about our own unique experiences with making friends and how we've learned - and continue to learn - ways to nurture these important relationships.
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MICHAEL - www.wellismo.com/
ABOUT:
The Gay Men's Brotherhood is a group for gay men to connect with each other on the journey of healing from shame and becoming more authentic and aligned to their truth.
The group aims to offer inspiration, support, connection, healing, and a safe place to show up just as you are.
Our vision for the members is to learn to feel more comfortable showing up vulnerably so deeper intimacy can be established in our community.
We dream of a gay community where everyone can feel more connected to one another in more ways than just sexual and we can feel less loneliness as a byproduct.
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Tell us about your best gay friendships in the comments 🔽🔽
I really appreciate how honest Matt is being about his current struggles. He's making it safe for leaders to be imperfect.
Thanks for that reflection Enzo 🙏
Early on in life I told myself, and friends, I never sleep with friends. I'm 59 yo and glad I kept that promise to myself.
I’m butt slapping you all virtually from Australia 😜 Thank you guys xo
I consent to a friendly bum slap 👏🏼
I'm a Gay man and I definitely want to have Gay men friends ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 I want to have friendships with people like me ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Gay men together forever ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 I love you all my beautiful Gay men ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Straight man wish has gays friends too chat with and teach me❤❤❤
I relate a lot to Matt’s experience. Guys often notice my body (I work out), when I try to befriend most of the gay guys I notice they actually just want my body and d%ck but that’s not what I’m looking for. I want genuine friendships and relationships. I want anything but quick meaningless sex. I thought at first I liked the attention but it just led up to me being objectified by other men…I just really want to be liked for who I am platonically and romantically.
I think a lot of guys can relate with this as well.
It has got to be so rough being hot.
@@flyjet787it's not rough "being hot", but it also means that guys rarely care about anything but getting boned when you are. 😂
@@Scar-jg4bn The alternative is so much worse. That's why it is offensive for those of us not genetically blessed to hear it. I have suffered DEEPLY my whole life (54 years now) because I just want to look like the guys making these videos. I believe I'm intelligent, interesting, empathetic, well-intentioned, kind and loving - but I am not "hot" and never was. Every party or gay bar or date was not an opportunity but a minefield. And I've been punished by countless folks for not having a good body/face. From the perspective of someone sexually attractive, being objectified must seem frustrating - but they have no idea how cruel the world can really be!
@@flyjet787 I completely agree, but in my humble opinion, if you look anything like your profile pic, you're definitely attractive. I never understood the kind of people who go for guys who look like Ken dolls with zero personality and I feel like the bars foster that kind of mentality. There's plenty of normal attractive natural gay dudes who aren't chasing a 6 pack out there. 😊
Matt... do you even KNOW how deeply attractive you really are?? Your voice, your thoughts, your attitude, your insight into yourself is ASTOUNDING. ANYbody would be drawn to you. I'm not discounting any of the other guys but you ( for me) are like "the bomb"!! Just a real guy. Just having someone like you peeking over my shoulder to see what I'm doing during the course of a simple meal prep... I melt. You're exactly what I would think of as "sweet". It's not anything to do with sexual interest... you're deeper than just sexual energy.
I’m just seeing this now. Thank you for your beautiful compliment. I wholeheartedly receive it ❤️
This podcast is soooo good.. I binge-listened to you the entire week...
Thanks Clark! We love bringing it to you. Thanks for the support
being urban and gay is difficult and weirdly lonely... it's a hard life, but someone's got to live it
It's a hard life but someones got to live it yep
I appreciate this episode SO, SO much! Especially with Matt being so open about confusion over what his boundaries look like, Michael sharing his viewpoint growth when entering a gay space, and Calan expressing his frustration over crossed boundaries and judgement within our community. AND the discussion of letting true emotions and phases flow within a relationship, whatever that relationship may entail.
Discovering and listening to this podcast over the past month-ish has truly been a gift. The four of you (Matt, Michael, Calan, and Reno) being so open, and truly going deeper (not just being a superficial name) on a plethora of "taboo" topics makes me feel incredibly seen, more than I have in a while, and possibly more than in my whole life.
Listening to you all gives me hope and excitement for my own future, being 22 years of age. It shows me there ARE gay men out there who love introspection, who are highly sensitive, and allow themselves to be nuanced beings. That the act of FEELING, with all of its intricacies, is a blessing, and that it's actually normal. Thank you all for such a juicy podcast. Many, many kisses from California 😘💝
Wow, we're so touched by your kind words! Hearing that our podcast has made such a positive impact on your life means the world to us. We're truly grateful for your support and for sharing your experience. It's amazing to know that we're creating a space where people feel seen and heard. Keep shining, and we can't wait to share more with you!💞😍
I appreciate this conversation. Honest conversations among gay guys is so important especially in 2023. I totally agree with Matt's ,if a guy doesn't have a pleasant scent,it sure as hell, will NOT happen 😊
Fyi, every man will love the scent of the cologne, Savage by Door👍
You guys are a great example of platonic gay friendship. You relate by all being life coaches. Plus, your conversations are all focused on personal development as gay men. It doesn't revolve around having sex with each other.
I'm 59 (sixty in a couple weeks!) and I feel invisible to younger gay men. I have older men show interest, but I feel mostly rejected by gay men in general. I feel like they immediately decide whether they are attracted to me or not and they are cold toward me so they don't have to go through the confusion of being thought to be interested when they're not. It's possible I'm projecting my own judgments against gay men because I prefer straight men. They are generally more comfortable with themselves, are more masculine, and don't have the anxiety that gay men have when communicating. I fall for straight men in their thirties or forties, who are married and have children. I wish bisexuality was more acceptable and women didn't mind sharing their husbands with a gay man. I long for intimacy, men who enjoy kissing, massage, cuddling, holding hands, being open and real and sincere. I've loved listening to all of you talk. Thanks for sharing yourselves here.
Dude Bleuhhhhhhhhhhh
I agree 100%. Perhaps most of the gay community is "in the middle" and then lots of things are fluid and moving and different for everyone. When Im with a more confident straight Man its simplified. He knows what he is and what he likes and its an authentic exchange. I can't unsee Gay Men pretending to be straight and fetishizing straight Men. I think its an interesting perversion the community lives outloud but most are not aware of it. I think we have seen the Queer scene emerge in a strong way in nyc because its an authentic group of people trying to be themselves "in the middle" of gender ideals. Its creative and authentic. Its not a scene living exclusively in a sexual fantasy around straight Men.
I am a 35 year old gay man and trust me...there is still a good demand for older gay men. I myself prefer men in their 50s or even 60s. Older men are not invisible.
Two wonderful Gay male best friends, one for 27 years (we met in a Foods class in high school), and one for 25 years. Sadly, they're deceased, and I miss them every day, although I know I'll see them again someday, elsewhere. They were my confidantes, my buds.....we consoled ea. other during break-ups and supported ea. other, always. I may never have a best friend again, but was so grateful that they were in my life.
You can go to a bar or club because you enjoy going to those places & doing those activities & not go there to specifically hook up. Things are what YOU make of them. I can go to a party & chill in a corner by myself & enjoy the music & atmosphere & just being out of the house; & have little interaction with other people & that is not a loss to me, that is still a rewarding activity for me.
This is a great video. I've never heard a conversation about this. I could've used this many, many years ago when I was younger. It's been very hard to have good relationships with men, both straight and gay, for me.
In my case, it has been really hard for me to have good relationships with straight women. I don't want relationships with women, just if they are very special women, but generally, my relationships with women are really bad and I don't need them.
This was such a great conversation. I had a dear friend for years and it was not at all sexual. He got a boyfriend who was a great guy and they are still together. I have a husband and this also happened during our friendship. We went yo NYC for a long weekend trip and as soon as we got there my friend would not even acknowledge me. When we all returned home, he ghosted me. I’m still heartbroken that my dear friend didn’t talk to me about any issues he may have had with me and just discarded me and our friendship. So glad it was only plutonic and not romantic.
I don't have any gay friends since I don't really seem to meet other queer men in my life, so it's pretty interesting to hear about this kinda stuff since I have a bit of an outsider perspective to it.
I've always had those boundaries and find I'm one of only a few that do or are willing to make it known. Now in later life, it leaves me pretty much on the outside but I'm STILL ok with that. Not much choice, but I'm well none-the-less.
Thank you for talking about these topics!!! ❤
We're glad you love it. Thank you so much for your kind words!😍
So much good content here. I cherish my gay male friends both historically for help in the coming out/discovery process and always just for the shared experiences and camaraderie. It is interesting to hear the perspective of people who have come from a space of mostly considering other gay men only as sexual partners. Gives me a new perspective on the idea of how being gay can be associated with loneliness. All that said, there have been times when finding the right path on the friendship versus sexual continuum can be tough.
Thanks for the awesome comment Chris! Glad you enjoyed the episode!
Interesting podcast / vlog. I have lots of gay friends all over the country, but none local. Don't have any romantic interests either. I don't know why. It just is. I know I am a lot older, but do relate.
Thanks for the comment, Lawrence. It's a wonderful thing that we can connect with men all over the world (virtually), isn't it? For me, there's something to be said for the local kind of friends you can make plans with spontaneously or can come over easily. Where you live plays a part in that as well... it's not easy in some areas. Thanks for watching the show!
have many straight friends in my life. i live a gay life since was 17 years old. but straigh friends respect my decision and continue hanging with me, went to the movies, beachh, sports, parties and night clubs.... (discos, saunas, gay bars and clubs not yet open or exist ) there were minimum ocasions that i went out with straight friends when i had a boyfriend,,,, the same as much of them did when they had girlfriends..... but i have had girlfriend sometimes and i go parties with them..... not know if one or two of them were closeted gays..... the real thing is i did not a closeted gay when i hang with them. on the other hand we talked about anything, but most of the time they not blame homosexuality..in front of me. on the other hand, i had sexual encounters with two of them. i enjoy doing this.... at the end i like men. now 75 still having straight friends..... not to many, and of course have a lot of gay friends...
Thanks guys, this was a good talk and I had a few realizations triggered from things that were said. This was good!
Thanks for listening John!
It is even more difficult when you are in a long-term relationship. Having gay friends becomes a minefield - much more so than with hetero ones. Showing a friendly interest in a gay guy can get misinterpreted as seeking more. Multiple boundaries.
Often these issues are a question of emotional and social maturity. Developing the vocabulary to communicate effectively with others.
You make a great point! Emotional and social maturity play a significant role in navigating complex issues and fostering healthy communication. It's an ongoing journey that enriches our relationships and personal growth. Thank you for sharing your insight!😍
This is such an important topic - it is SO hard to find same sex friends who don't have ulterior motives! How many times have I had someone be extra nice to me for months until they learn I don't want to go to bed, and then there's crickets. It's very disappointing and makes me feel sexualized and nothing else. I've all but given up and think it would be easier to just find straight friends but it really would be nice to have gay friends who don't have "Expectations".
When Matt talks about wanting to be perceived as sexy, I think that's very healthy and normal - but it can be taken too far. When I look at the thousands of "likes" men receive simply for posting themselves shirtless, taking out the trash, walking 10 steps on a street....it's a bit embarrassing.
The "limbo zone" is a great term. You want to be found attractive by your friends, but only as far as you want to take it.
Interesting was the discussion section on boundaries, I found it in my experience to know what your boundaries are, or even to create them is to take it a particular situation, and simply make a list of things that you don’t like, or you don’t want, for example;
I don’t want to have a partner who pays more attention to his phone than what’s going on around him including being with me at the time.
The next step after making such a statement is to seek clarification by simply asking “ so what do I want?”
Then your question will be answered, it’s really a matter of digging down deep inside you and being honest with yourself.
I called this a contrast and clarity exercise and you can use it in any situation in your life.
Thank you for sharing your method for setting boundaries. Your "contrast and clarity exercise" is a practical and insightful approach. Identifying what you don't want and then seeking clarity on what you do want is a powerful way to establish and understand personal boundaries. We're glad you found the discussion helpful and appreciate your contribution!🥰
As someone who is polyamorous, I tell people that the difference between a boyfriend and a friend with benefits is *commitment* . Monogamy defines relationships with sex exclusivity as the foundation. Whereas polyamory defines relationships around *how* you show love. Whether that is quality time, shared hobbies, cohabitation, etc. Sex is only one way to show love. It can be liberating when sex doesn't have to define commitment.
Very good comments
Sniffing? Oh, grow jup!!! Dogs do that -- people have brains!!
26:00 omg i have the same lone wolf complex but its self-inflicted.
It can definitely feel that way sometimes, huh? It's interesting how we can create these barriers for ourselves. Remember, you're not alone in feeling that way. If you're open to it, maybe there’s an opportunity to step outside your comfort zone a bit and connect with others?😉
@@GayMenGoingDeeper Hey didn't you guys have a discord channel? If so ive been unable to find it. Facebook hates me.
@@resurrectedstarships Ohh... We don't have Discord channel for now.🙂
Great as always, guys, thank you! I have been very blessed for having man gay friends ever since I started coming out, some have come, some have gone, but there have always been some. Now my partner and I have also many gay couples friends too, but I also can relate with many of the experiences you all mentioned, sometimes it´s not easy, but good things in life never are, right? Looking forward to the next one, kisses from London.
Blessed, indeed! A lack of true friendships is one of the most common struggles we hear of within the gay community- both from guys in rural areas and in urban centres as well. I'm glad you've been able to maintain friendships - thank you for your support as always Gabe 💖
I'm mildly demisexual and need at least a friendship connection to enjoy physical intimacy, so for that reason I rarely friend-zone anyone. I've had FWBs for years who are legitimately friends first, and while the relationships aren't romantic or monogamous, they are loving, caring, mutually supportive friendships. The sex, while enjoyable, is secondary. Of course, I have non-sexual friends, too, but I don't overthink it. Instead, I see where things lead, organically and mutually. It works for me. I haven't been in a LTR for years, though. I believe I'm better suited to polyamory, so my current situation seems plenty fulfilling.
We are glad you have found what works for you and are choosing to go out and get it. This is what create happiness 😊
It makes me really uncomfortable when my gay 'friends' try to push something sexual. I used to have a pretty big group of gay friends, not one of them kept things platonic. Even most of my straight friends have tried.
Nowadays I'm big on self improvement and I've lost a lot of my older friends as a result. Ive been better at bluntly setting boundaries and so I've gained a reputation for being 'an asshole' So, I see men with their shit together and have a very sane energy and I want people like that in my life. But even then, he will 90% of the time turn it sexual.
Now, I'm fine with having sex with friends in theory its not that serious. But it always turns confusing and heavy. And then when a guy doesn't see romantic potential in you, he doesn't give you that platonic attention either.
Historically my gay friendships were developed through drag and nightlife and stuff. The minute you meet someone through grindr or another app, they see you as a sexual object.
But also, I think something that isn't talked about enough is the more platonic sort of betrayals that have only happened with my gay friends.
Whether its hooking up with a boyfriend, sabotaging my work or health, spreading rumors, tricking me into getting with guys I have no desire to, and these sorts of things.
The 'mean gays' stereotype is so real and THIS is what truly prevents gay friendships.
It's completely understandable to feel uncomfortable when people cross your boundaries. It's great that you've been setting clearer boundaries and prioritizing your well-being. It sounds like you're looking for friendships based on mutual respect and understanding.
Keep in mind that not everyone is the same. Keep seeking out connections with people who value platonic relationships and support your personal growth. You deserve to have friends who respect your boundaries and appreciate you for who you are.😍
I am currently in that situation with a straight friend of all people. I tend to be a lot more guarded and cautious with male gay friends, then I do with straight friends. With gay friends is the obvious; there is always a degree of sexual tensions. With straight friends in my personal experience, I feel that it is more relaxed and genuine. I am currently in a blossoming friendship with a straight guy whose physical affections towards me make me wonder if he is gay. We are both very affectionate with each other. He is the only straight friend I know that always greet me with a big hug in public; and shows other types of physical affection towards me. Recently while we hugged, I discreetly gave him a kiss on the cheek, and he didn't seem bothered by that. I felt a bit scared of my bold move; and afraid that it will drive him away. Last week I text message him, and he was as loving and affectionate as before my sneaky kiss. Needless to say I felt relieved that our ongoing blossoming friendship is still intact. I have no expectations where this friendship is heading. And so I am going with the flow, and letting him make the first move, if there were something more between us!? Meanwhile I am enjoying the most enlightened and pure human connection I ever had in a very long time, probably my whole life. It sure feels nice to feel a deep emotional and spiritual connection with someone for a change; without any sexual tensions.
That's a unique and heartwarming friendship you have! Keep cherishing the moments and the bond you share! 🌟😊
@@GayMenGoingDeeper Thank you! I am a realist so I am not expecting anything beyond a friendship; but neither do I close the doors to possibilities!? I like the fact that he is not judgmental, and doesn't feel threatened by me being gay. We've work for the same company but in a different department; 23 yrs!! so as co-workers in that sense we had already build a trust. No sexual tensions. It feels really nice to have a "real" friendship for a change. You can say our relationship has grown close to what is known as a bromance!
Excellent topic and insights guys :)
Thank you 🙏
I had two different friends groups in Detroit that I LOVED! We would do everything together! None of the guys were of interest to me as more than friends. Come to find out... everyone of them were trying to get me to realize that they were THE ONE for me. None of them were. The relationships imploded and I never looked back. It was a HUGE betrayal for me when I realized this. It wasn't my friendship... but the hopes of having sex with me... that made these groups exist and flourish.
Because men are incapable of having friends with the sex they're attracted to unfortunately. It's why straight women can only have gay male friends and never straight guy friends and why gay men will ALWAYS try and sleep with their gay friends.
I totally agree with you about not appreciating guys touching me when I am not allowing it. I have had some pretty bad experiences with a few guys. One tried to “R” word me at a bar, another pinned me in a corner. I am not a physical person, but I had to fight my way out of those situations.
Fascinating hearing the perspective of people whose main concern seems to be how to ward off unwanted or excessive interest. Maybe when I was socially active I had Ugly Privilege; my hard limit of interest in anyone was I Wouldn't Say No - but I never asked; that would have been far too presuming. The effects were interesting; all my relationships formed from friendships and because I was such a safe friend I had the excellent luck that the vast majority of my friends were gay (and I'm enough of a home teamer to find that an advantage), but despite my being a skilled and creative gift giver in my prime, I probably was less than brilliant at making people feel desired. But life is like chess; control one section of the board and one doesn't control another section.
Thank you for sharing your perspective with us. Gives me something to think about and perhaps the bias I carry
All of my friendships with gay men have resulted in their eventually confessing their love for me and then removing me from their life once they realized I just wanted to be friends.
I struggle with this too, and I think the problem is that I have no way of meeting gay men other than dating/sex apps. The men on those are often in a bad place and only want sex or a sexual relationship. Friends doesn't even seem to be an option for them, no matter how much I insist that I am genuinely interested in friendship if we don't want a relationship together. It's like they can't accept friendship because they don't want that and can't understand that it's not a form of rejection, because for them to say they want only friendship they would be rejecting you.
Having gay male friends is such a cathartic journey. When I was in my 20s in my 30s, I have many gay friends. Life was a little bit easier than I met my ex-husband and I became friends with his friends, my friends between his friends, but after the divorce everything changed now as an older gay male I am 61. I’m having a very hard time. It just seems all of the younger gay men around today are very judgmental and they don’t want to be around the old man it’s very disconcerting. I think it’s gay man we go through different changes through our lives. And it’s really extremely difficult to make a friends when your past 60 there was a lot of ageism in our community.
Damn the guy on the top left looks like SHYA LABOUF.
I just want to comment on Matt's singing voice. I just recently saw an open mic you tube segment and Matt sang. Matt has a hidden talent. I was very impressed with the tone and sensitivity of his voice. I hope he continues to pursue singing 😊
Thank you, every word I said is so true.
Everyone loves a relaxing tone from a beautiful person. And to actually feel at home with that person's story telling technique,is an experience so needed the fast moving, artificial world we live in today 🌹🙂
Thank you for this kind compliment Darryl 🥹 - Matt
@@GayMenGoingDeeper Your very welcome.
This is a good topic, thank you. I've met an older man online, who agreed to share some tips and be sort of a mentor. It took a few weeks of chatting and getting to know one another and now he is flirting more and more. I'm hypersensitive and it irks me sometimes, but I try to be polite and set boundaries. Already mentioned that he's not exactly someone I would consider dating. Besides this, he has health issues and I can't help him because of the distance anyways. I enjoy communication in general, but I don't want to feel uncomfortable while communicating with him. We, hsps, can be soft when it comes setting boundaries before it gets icky. What could I do?
Speak your truth, always 😊
@@GayMenGoingDeeper Thank you. Will have this in mind.
I have 3 close gay friends. I do not have sexual interest in them, but we have had sex occasionally and naturally. It has come from a place of connection and friendship more than lust or pleasure. It was weird, tender, soft and deeply satisfying. It's not an every day thing, and we have not done it in a while, but it has brought us closer as friends.
Thanks for sharing your unique and close bond with your friends. It sounds like your experiences have added an interesting layer to your friendships, built on connection and understanding.
Here I go again... Each time I listen to Matt clicks, clicks and clicks with me. That whole thing about peeking over my shoulder... that just would do it for the both of us. Tickle, tickle. Loved Michael asking him about no sex with friends, etc and hearing his response. Break it down to much more simple terms and... RELAX. Its not so hard!!!!!!!! Just has to be the right guy!
Well it didn't work ! Matt looks great with long hair !! I for one love long hair, especially on guys.
Agreed! It's gotta be so challenging to go through life as a guy who's just too good-looking!
This is a good discussion. Unfortunately they hit a lot of my issues right on the head. I have other gay male acquaintances, but I just don't trust other gay men. It is sad, but I am single. I try to open up and I get burned.
I hear you, and I'm sorry to hear that you've faced trust issues. It's tough when opening up leads to disappointment. Take your time, and I hope you find genuine connections that bring trust and understanding. 🌈
26:35 Pun warning: I think that what Matt is talking about here is “Homo FOMO” :)
This is an interesting expression. Thanks for sharing.
THANKYOU
I don't see why it's (relationships) have to be so intense and difficult. Isn't it best to just be simple with someone so that they can grow into someone special and sort of take things from there?? BUILDING boundaries per se is like building a moat. Natural "boundaries" are simple. Anyone who respects you will recognize where they need to be when around you. IDK. It seems making it a big deal only exasperates both of you and therefor RUINS anything that might have been possible.
This is one such problem I had in the gay community in SF coming from India. In India, when we meet someone, at the parry or through a friend, if we are not a match, we don't leqve out potential for platonic friendship. I formed some very deep friendships, which is still going on.
But I never was able to fimd gay people for friendship. When they didn't like me sexually, they dont want me for friendships either. As a result I am largely friendless since I don't really identify with straight guys
Yea we definitely need more platonic connection in then community.
@GayMenGoingDeeper No you need to open up to other gays from your culture and other
We all need connection outside of sex. Humans are social. We have emotional needs. Gay or not. But men are so sexually charged that its difficult for us to not fall into the sexual. But the older you get it seems to be a bit easier to keep things platonic.
It's definitely true that we all crave connection beyond the physical. It's interesting how sexuality can sometimes overshadow that. It's like there's a constant pull in that direction, especially when we're younger. But as we grow and mature, it does seem to get easier to prioritize other aspects of relationships. It's a journey, for sure.❤
I have became friends with a guy who has a same sex long term partner. Although I tried to make a connection/friendship with his partner, I feel this coldness towards me from him. Do I remain in this friendship?
Do you have romantic feelings for either of them?
@@GayMenGoingDeeper I developed romantic feelings for my friend. He told me “while I don’t feel romantic feelings, let’s just be friends for the time being”. I accepted that and I’m willing to remain as friends. I’ve always felt his partner is threatened by me in some way. I’m also not sure if my friend shared to his partner that I had these feelings.
Love gay friends that you don’t have sex with … don’t miss out on a kind soul 😊
Sheree always on the wrong side of ... Well....EVERYTHING!!!
I have the same problem or gift depending how you interpret it. I need to have an emotional connection to someone before I am sexually attracted to someone. Demisexual as I understand...
Hi there! It sounds like you've identified with the demisexual orientation. That's a great step in understanding yourself and your experiences. It's completely normal to need an emotional connection before feeling sexually attracted to someone. Demisexuality is a valid and respected sexual orientation.🏳🌈❤
Sex is not bad but sex addiction is destructive.
Hi! Absolutely, balance is key. Thank you for sharing your perspective!🙂
❤❤❤
You can’t be friends with another gay man. No matter how much you want it or believe it can be done. Harshest lesson I’ve learned in my 20+ years in the LGBTLMNOP lifestyle. My closest friends are straight dudes.
Well you can be as these people are proving it. You may not. That's your problem.
@@Rage_Harder_Then_Relax yup, you’re right. 👍🏼
Just got me started with the butt sniffing!😁
I'm a member of the FB group and while I appreciate this podcast, I only see young men talking to other young men. I'll check out other episodes, but as an elder gay man and poz, I'm not relating to the internal nattering. You're thinking and analyzing too much (imo)
We have 160 episodes. Keep exploring. There are dozens of episodes with mature men and men from all diverse backgrounds. Happy podcasting 😁
What is ghosting?
It's when a person wanishes in the background without a single Booo..
❤yaha❤
I was never in the proverbial closet, so I missed the coming out experience. The one thing I got out of this video is that Michael is a bottom.
Interesting perspective!🤩Everyone's experience is unique. While the coming out process can be a significant milestone for many, it's clear that your journey has been different. It's fascinating how different people connect with different aspects of media.🙂
@@GayMenGoingDeeper True! I couldn't help my jocularity about Michael. This is the gay men going deeper, isn't it? In all seriousness, although I paid a price for being who I am, I know being in the closet is a painful place to be. The process itself, I image, is equally difficult. I grew up in the 50s and at age 12 my country (Cuba) became a totalitarian communist nation. In the 60s, the government created forced labor/indoctrination camps for gays. It was the worst experience of my life. I finally left and I am currently living happily in Florence, Italy. I am 80 years old. You are all sexy and attractive. Warmest greetings. Be happy.
You lost me at the it's-so-hard-being-hot trope.
From a never-been-super-hot-guy.....Unsubscribed.
I felt the same way, but I get the sincerity of the experience being unpleasant for those who say it. It’s nice to be in a position to consider one’s self as objectively attractive physically. I envy that, but that’s my own work to do. I also judge most everybody is more attractive than they give themselves credit. And confidence in one’s self is the most attractive quality a person can have, imo.
It would be interested to have a panel or guest speaker of men who didn’t believe they were that attractive to share their experiences about gay romance and friendships with other gays.
@@wthomas6336 It WOULD be interesting to hear from men who don't meet the basic criteria for attractiveness (or simply don't feel attractive). Great idea!