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Dating Tips For Inexperienced Guys, Advice For Introverts, Increasing Intimacy & More | Q&A
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- Опубликовано: 15 авг 2024
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After I was in a horrible relationship that ended at the beginning of the year I’ve watched your content religiously and it did a worlds of help to me being ok with myself while still working on myself.
Thank you for everything!
🥹 it’s my pleasure! Hugs!
@@CourtneyRyan Guys online is trash
Will you be my girl john
Has that given you good results?
Best relationship advice from a couple that had been married for almost 60 years: understand your partners faults and deal with them. What does this mean? Understand what your partners faults, quirks, habits, etc. are and if none of them are deal-breakers, you understand that you will not change any of them or make them go away; so in other words, you deal with them.
And for those of you that think you don't have any of those, you are wrong; you have some...everyone does. My wife and I have been very happily married for over 30 years...
Not married, but ive been in a long term relationship. I’ve found so much value in your channel Courtney. It has really made me a better partner and has helped me to better understand myself and my values. Thank you!
🥹🤍 it’s my pleasure!
Hey Courtney, this is just the video for me. I’m almost 20, never had a gf. I’ve had plenty of girls ask me out but I could never say yes because I didn’t have a phone (strict parents). I’ve also dealt with depression the last few years but I’m finally getting out of it. I’m starting college soon so I hope to meet a nice lady to spend my life with and finally get a gf 😂
Same(ish)! I am 21, and I bought my own phone in highschool cause my parents said no and took it away after 6 months in middle school having a phone. I was too addicted, but it had its pros and cons. Was really eye opening. Try not to get addicted! Keep strong and you'll be great!
Guys above, are you living in Korea?
You DON'T NEED PHONES to meet girls !
A phone doesn't help you AT ALL to approach a girl/woman!!!!!
Advice: NOTHING helps you to approach a girl or a woman IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE APPROACHED BY YOU ! If she does want, you'll be the first person informed. No phones, no technology, no tricks.
Real life is cruel and you are alone! Bare in mind this rule! Now, be prepared to be humiliated, dropped down when you expect the least, all in all be prepared to die in the ferocious reality of relationships.
Good luck guys!
@adriantataranu2769 bro having makes it 100 times easier. This is the 21st century where most people our age have had a phone since they were 11. It makes communication way easier. What if you have to get somewhere you've never been. I mean dating can definitely be done without a phone but at the age we're at it's pretty much required.
Thats nothing I’m 29 and i never had a girlfriend. I had to work alot on myself get over alot of trauma. Now i can say i’m ready for the dating world
Dude, don't waste your 20s. Live large, fuck everything that moves. At 20s there's too much immature shit in their heads, that needs rumbling. Speaking as former 23-year old, who'd tried to make relationships with 18-th year old gf
I'm just turning 39 next month, after my last relationship in my late 20s ending horribly I decided I needed to work on me. That's what I've done for the last decade. Recently started dating. I do worry about the mistakes I WILL make but it will be more about who I am and my ability to self correct. I don't believe many women who learn about me would hold it against me. To many guys haven't gone back and examined there life as a story and figuring out how to explain it without sounding pathetic. That's the problem, you're more ashamed of the lack of work, you won't be able to explain why you were single not that you were single.
Good luck bro! You are on the right track
I am 41 in the same boat. focused on career and had some relationships in my early and mid twenties but then without realizing I just went lazer focused on career moved around a lot in the UK and abroad seeking opportunities and promotions. at 39 I woke up, got in the gym weight training and getting in shape. Now at 41 started dating last week. Been on Hinge, 3 dates so far and so many matches I've had to cut back as i cant have quality interactions with so many.
What I have learnt so far is just to be myself, be open, honest, listen and talk to women seems to be working well. I need to know her well to work out if I like her and want to see her more often.
I've been asked about my relationship status and they have all been cool with it, its the truth, I cannot change it now. Only sort it out going forward.
I’m a 37 year old father of two young kids and I’m recently divorced. I have 20 years of relationship experience, but only with 1 woman. Helpful video today, thanks.
Would love more thoughts on dating in your 30s or dating as a single father.
Women are horrified of committing to a man who has not been vetted by other women. Your children are like a visible mark of quality. Take pride in them.
im one year older than me, but have had relationship of half my lifetime...
and i had none.. too introverted, too logical... lack of animal sexual instincts
i just see no value in women... im clearly meant to be lone wolf i guess... born in the wrong time, raised of the values of old world.. and became adult and that world didnt even exist what my parents raised me for.... stunted parenting
Bro, you need to go try and get that old thing back. Ain't nobody other than a mother with multiple kids want a single father with multiple kids.
I'm older than you but have found myself in the same boat. My previous experience was college days and frankly I am in a different place in my life to go back to that! So I agree... how do you restart, get back into the dating scene and find a potential partner
@@GreedyDragonBrewing I too am in the same boat! I was married for 14 years, didnt date at all the 6 years before. the dating world has changed drastically. its a dumpster fire out here!
This has been a great year for watching your content, and I'm appreciative of all your great videos. Here's to more greatness in 2024, Courtney! 🥂
You’re so kind! I’ve loved your comments throughout the year. Thanks for being here my friend! ❤️
@@CourtneyRyan womansplain much ?
I've never had a girlfriend myself. I'm 30, and honestly after being single for so long, I'm growing more and more fond of being single. Yes I have days when I don't want to be, but after hearing so many stories and tips on dating and marriage, I think it's been a good thing I've been single for so long. As an introverted autistic 30 year old man, it's difficult for someone like me. Even at churches, soup kitchens, clubs, libraries, and other places I go to. Each woman is different so trying a new approach with each woman is always a roll of the dice and never really worked for me. I've gotten a few numbers but nothing came from them. On top of that, it's hard for me as it is navigating through daily life and never having broad knowledge about reading people.
So yeah, I think it's good I'm single, yeah it sucks at times but with each passing year I remain a bachelor, I becoming more indifferent to relationships. It's just too much for a man like me to do it anyway. I'm just not really compatible with anyone. Now you're probably saying "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" and yes I understand that and I don't really care if a woman wants me at this point.
I respect it
Keep your head up king. Life turns around when you least expect it.
Try the gym start working out
You could simply be schizoid
@@Uri-AltenhofenHe said that he doesn’t want anything, lol
Yes, as a lady I would love relationship advice for women!
I stumbled upon your channel when I was single. I'm now in a loving relationship and I think your videos definitely contributed to the journey here. I would love to hear more focused on women as well. Thank you! 😊
Edited to add: My boyfriend slid into my DMs from a ski group on facebook. Never had any success with dating apps. So it was a bit of a mix of hobbies and online. It's crazy how well we have worked together even though I knew nothing about him before our first date. 😂
Ahh this makes me so happy to hear! Thank you 🥹 & wishing you all the best in your relationship! 🤍
@CourtneyRyan thanks so much Courtney!! He really is so special and I'm a very lucky girl.
I enjoy chatting with women & a few feminine stores. I do believe singles do need to make compromises, though.
I assume you are both in your 20s
@@nobodysperfect06 I'm 31, he's 35.
Thank you so much for this. As an introverted man who has no dating experinece, it's nice to feel validated. May the New Year be kind to you!
Courtney, after my 6 years relationship ended, I took a year off dating. Now I'm putting myself out there again. Even though I have some experience, your videos help me so much! You have no idea how many men you are helping. Thank you for your time and effort!
I've been married 12 years and I've found many of your videos to be balanced, actionable, and effective in a committed relationship. Of course, It takes a willingness from both parties to be curious, to put advice into action, and wake up every day willing to marry your partner all over again. Best wishes for you and your husband!
One of the best male improvement channels out there. Keep up the great work, Courtney. I wish you the best into the new year and much more success! 🎉
You’re so kind, thank you 🥹
Courtney, you’re a breath of fresh air in the current toxic dating scene. I think you’re helping a lot of decent men.
I agree totally ❤ because I only find male in dating apps how only want casual relationship and only want sex 😭. So I have given up . I living in Sweden 🇸🇪. Perhaps it is different in USA . I love this RUclips channel. And it helps me to understand English much better 😍
Great advice! One of my dating struggles has been ghosting where the person stops communicating out of nowhere and how to cope with ghosting
Same it’s hard to not get into your own head about it when that happens and wonder what’s wrong with you or what you did wrong….
As an introverted man who has been single for the last 14 years and who has been rejected too many times, in the last year I gave up and lost hope of getting back into a relationship. Finding your channel and watching your videos has made me want to try again. I know I have a lot of work to do, starting with overcoming anxiety and the idea that the other person is going to reject me because all the others in the past have done so. Thanks for everything and thanks for all the videos! I hope there are many more to come in 2024! Happy new year! 🎉
You have more courage than me. i've basically given up for the foreseeable future. I also have anxiety issues, and trying to meet women (and failing) has made it much worse than before.
As an introvert I can understand your pain, man!
Give yourself credit for having the nerve to approach a woman for a date.
@@inconnu4961 I wish I could help you! I'm sure you're doing the best you can! Anxiety is horrible. If you give up, things don't get better and over time things get much worse. I know it's very difficult but don't give up and try to believe it's possible.
Don't put yourself through that. They just want you out there because they enjoy rejecting you.
Courtney, I've seen a lot of your videos and you've never addressed, dating /intimacy, with people who have physical disabilities, but I met my girlfriend on Instagram and I told her about my disability, and she's not scared off by it, I was born with spina bifida, I use a wheelchair to get around everywhere, I push my wheelchair to get around everywhere!!! We have been dating for a whole year as of December 15!! I live in Maryland and she lives in New Jersey
I assume you are both in your 20s
@@nobodysperfect06 neither of us are in our 20's!! I'm 50, and my girlfriend is 33!!
Music, film, working out, studying, 9-10 hours a day running my business, hanging with friends, camping/ hiking / snowboard trips, beach, my 2 dogs. I just don’t think there’s any time for games/ heartless manipulation - IM BOOKED! 🤷♂️
Many thanks for all the content you have made in 2023, Courtney! We are all looking forward to the content you will make in 2024. Happy New Year!
It’s been a pleasure. Thanks for being here and happy new year! 🤍
@@CourtneyRyan Will you advise us how to get action on a first date?
Happily married woman here. Huge fan. I would love advice on how to stay spruced up for my husband and keep dating exciting for us. Thanks
So glad you’re here! ❤️
I’ve dated off and on since I was 16. I’ve gone on a dozen dates with women and only had relationships with 2. I’m still single and knocking on the door of 40. It’s been 8 years since my last relationship ended and my confidence has yet to bounce back. Being continually friend zoned and ghosted has taken its toll!!!
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 🎬 *Dating advice Q&A by Courtney Ryan covering late bloomers' concerns, meeting women beyond bars, and sustaining long-distance relationships.*
01:10 💑 *Don't let inexperience hinder dating; own it, prioritize other things, and remember experience doesn't guarantee attractiveness.*
03:16 🍻 *Bars aren't ideal for meeting women; try mutual friends, shared hobbies/groups, or consider online dating.*
05:37 💔 *After a breakup, take time to heal, reflect, then ease back into dating, checking alignment with your goals and values.*
06:49 🛌 *Advice for married men to maintain physical interest: focus on emotional connection, show affection, prioritize partner's needs, and be open to spicing things up.*
10:32 👔 *Choosing a first-date outfit depends on the occasion; consider dressing appropriately, making a good impression, and being hygienic.*
12:07 🌆 *To meet people in a new city, join local communities, engage in hobbies, network, or even reach out via social media like Instagram.*
14:13 💑 *Long-distance relationships in college can work with shared commitment, communication, and alignment in long-term goals.*
16:04 🧴 *Winter cologne recommendations for men: Pruna Rosa Black, Maison Margiela Jazz Club, and Parfums de Marly Layton among top picks.*
17:54 😇 *Being "too nice" can be detrimental; balance being a good guy without crossing into pushover territory by maintaining self-respect and boundaries.*
18:36 💔 *Being too nice in dating can be detrimental; it may involve putting someone on a pedestal, ignoring your boundaries, lacking self-respect, allowing yourself to be used without reciprocation, or chasing excessively.*
19:18 🤔 *Rating individuals based on arbitrary factors like having a British accent or owning a boat can be entertaining but doesn't reflect true compatibility in dating.*
20:28 🧠 *Choosing a partner reflects your emotional development; working on yourself helps attract compatible partners and fosters personal growth.*
21:37 🌟 *Dr. Nicole LePera, known as the Holistic Psychologist, offers excellent dating and relationship advice, focusing on mental health and self-improvement.*
22:19 👩❤️👨 *The creator has a new channel for women to share more personal content, aiming to tailor advice specifically for female viewers.*
23:45 👰 *The creator is married, embracing the opportunity to discuss healthy relationships and marriage dynamics in future content, aside from dating advice.*
24:55 📚 *The content creator acknowledges the learning process in relationships, catering to both singles and those in long-term relationships or marriages for continuous growth.*
25:08 👍 *Expressing gratitude for the support received throughout the year and celebrating reaching 650,000 subscribers on RUclips.*
Thanks
Glad to see you taking on one of the more difficult topics. Introverts and neurodivergents need more help than neurotypicals in navigating these interactions, and there is very little good advice that is geared to them. Good work!
Hi Courtney. Married guy here. Loved the relationship advice. I’m taking some of the dating tips to apply in my relationship but anything you have for those of us in a relationship would be great. I’m a recent subscriber and love the content. Keep it up. Great stuff!!!
whats your advice for a 25 year old virgin like me.
Just remember that you have to weed out the bad apples before you can find one that's nice for you.There's way too may instances of women taking advantage of guy's emotions both online and irl spaces. Just be aware of what kind of person you want to be with, and if it looks like you're running into a landmine, chances are you'll end up in a very uncomfortable position. Stay safe, and remember to always be the best version of yourself for others out there.
This channel helped me so much in my dating life. Don't have a gf...yet but helped me see results I never expected not only in the dating world and in my personal life. Keep your head up kings!
Love this Q&A. Wondering if you could make a video that really goes in to detail on "slow and steady wins the race." I am 22 and have only first started dating of any sort this year. One thing I struggle with is meeting a girl who expresses high interest at first, but I take things way too fast because I get too excited and come off as clingy or overwhelming, which results in their interest fading. I have slowly been getting better at this, but would like to see some sort of guide for the following: you see an attractive woman in an environment you both frequent (coffee shop, yoga class, library, etc.), how and when do you go about introducing yourself, how to engage with her on a regular basis without being weird, how to flirt without coming off too strong, and how to know when/if you should ask her out on a date, and ultimately how to handle subsequent dates and communication if you get that far haha. I would love to know how to do this because even when a woman gives me very clear nonverbal signs she is interested, I struggle to go up and approach her because I am afraid I will somehow eff it up or go down the road of clinginess and push her away, so I end up not approaching her at all... Help on this would be great as I am sure there are many others in my same shoes.
For us men at the start it's always a numbers game. Women in general do not explain themselves or will not give the thruthful reason for why they lose interest.
Know your strengths & passions, work towards them everyday, therefore know your boundaries (because you are constrained by the effort you put out everyday to become better at your strengths). THat will make you more attractive for women.
You can still chat up every girl, but you will have in your mind "She looks ok. But is she worth the effort? What is she able to add to my life?" because you put yourself first. Not this "OMG, OMG, OMG i NEED it to work out with her, she is the ONLY one".
Obvious hyperbol here.
There is no hard and fast rule on how to do everything because on the micro level every girl is different and responds to different things positively and negatively.
As long as you put yourself first, are genuinely interested in her and enjoy the JOURNEY, not the GOAL, you will be fine.
Ask her the tough questions to see if she would add to your life and ask her how you could add to her life.
Women treat relationships as a business deal, if you show her you do the same she will appreciate your candor.
Best of luck to you. You are already doing great.
Courtney, I have to say that is a bless to hear you speaking online, I like your tone and your logical approach to these topics and the way to present and breakdown your points of dialogue. congrats keep it that way.
getting dating advice (as a lonely man) from a woman is like getting fishing advice from the fish.
girls have literally no idea how much more challenging it is to date as a dude.
You´re specifically referring to the "just send a text on twitter" part, right xD? Hillarious.
Congratulations on your marriage! This coming January 1st will be my wife's and my 41st wedding anniversary. From my long experience I can say anyone will be well served following your advice. :)
No offense, but whenever I see a post in spaces like this from someone talking about how 'they've been married for decades', the first thing that pops into my head is "A lot happened while you were away".
I think guys in general need to stop worry what women might think about and concentrate on yourself and become a little bit better every day.
- Put yourself first because no one else will.
after HS and college I found it very difficult to find any women remotely interested in dating unless you pass their screening interview, they are not looking for guys who need experience or practice in dating
I appreciate the thought Courtney, but I've been single for almost 11 years (I'll be 29 soon). I've picked up several hobbies over the years. Biking, kayaking, cooking, etc. I don't go to bars and not very religious (so I don't go to church). When the weather is warm, I'm outside a lot of time. Doing yard work, cleaning my car, going for walks, etc.
I've tried online dating in the past. No success after several months (this is going back like 5 years ago). All the women acted like they wanted to be super models, caked with make-up, rather than being down to Earth. So, I wouldn't swipe on any of them (they were too intimidating). I don't think it would make any difference today. Part of the difficulty is a lack of friends too. I have a small group of friends I hang out occasionally, but they are more introverted than me. So, I don't look like an interesting person from someone peaking from the outside. On top of that, they don't have many friends either, so its not like I can reach out to a friend of a friend for a date.
Most people I come across are 10+ years older. Whether it is at work or grocery shopping. Only people I see kayaking are usually couples. No one else is out walking or biking, let alone their own yard.
There are not many clubs, no classes, no casual adult sport leagues, etc. So, meeting new people is very difficult. I think the best way for me to meet someone is through some kind of activity, the only issue is, there are not many near me. Communities don't exist anymore. At least I've never seen one or have been introduced to any. I don't use much of social media in general either, so instagram is a no go too.
I've given up on trying to find a date years ago. But there is always still just a little bit of hope that someone will actually see me as me.
I was one of those who thought 'people should just has to accept me for the way I am' only to realize it's not a good way to find a partner. As they say: "You are what you attract." Dress, act, smell and live like a slob, you're only gonna attract other slobs. I had to clean up my act, especially after my uncle gave me a good tongue lashing, only to have a roommate years later who had the same mentality I once did... except worse. He literally has no standards; I would always find the apartment messy with food stains everywhere. I told him he has to clean up and asked him 'what would someone he likes think if they saw his home in this state?' He told me (half-jokingly): "I'll just find someone who has no standards." We went our separate ways a couple years ago, he's still single and lives in a messy home to this day.
Courtney, Happy New Year 2024 to you! This year in 2023 was my first year tuning into your channel and I have really enjoyed it! You have a very positive, supportive and upbeat delivery style with great insight for. keep up the great work!
Here is a suggestion for a video: talk about setting healthy boundaries with girls and how they Perceive things. I think this is a really key issue that at times I struggle with after you get over the first few dates and things tend to go this way. It’s also something that I failed at in my long term relationship that I’m still trying to work on. All and all great content, thankful for your perspective and happy New Year/ Happy Holidays!
Well said but i doubt you have any problems with women
@@jamessmith7459 appreciate it bud but always out here trying to level up and improve and I think this as a video idea would be really cool to hear from a females perspective. There’s only so many videos I can tolerate where Courtney tries to give some really common sense advice I.e take a shower before a date, cut your nails, don’t wear a graphic old tee to a nice dinner date, etc.
@@scottmoore9151 i always spruce up clean shave smell good too bud its the least wee can do but its been over 11 years am not the man i used to be altho am 40 in the new year
Hello Courtney. I'm 49 years old. I've never had a girlfriend or been on a date. I haven't touched a woman since I was 15. I was doing things with girls at the age of 6. I'm way up against this. I'm not looking for sympathy. It is what it is. I really enjoy your content. I've followed your advice on shoes, a cologne collection, and no logos on certain attire. I'm not into button up shirts or what not. However, maybe a conversation between a woman and I might just seem to happen sometime. I wish I wanted to have a partner. I guess it speaks for itself that I don't. If that changes, it'll be interesting to see what happens. I have a high school and military background. Thanks Courtney. I really enjoy your content and will continue to watch.
Cases like you anger me and depress me because they remind me that they are male-dominated
Stay the path my friend! Its never too late and once you work on yourself and figure out what you want things become alot better
@@madispaced just out of curiosity. Why can't I view the accounts that like my comments?
I won’t go into much detail, but after a horrible situation I experienced recently, your videos have been EXACTLY what I’ve been needing. Thank you, Courtney. 💙
Happy new year, single guy here in his 30's, thank you so much for the tips to meet girls for introvert men, it's been a nightmare to meet new people after college but I want to try those options, I really want to have friends and eventually to meet someone special of the opposite sex
As an introvert, this video was very helpful! Happy New Years
I’m so glad! Happy new year!
For the intimacy one, a key one I would add is to continue taking care of your looks (fitness, skin care, etc.)
Obviously you’ll look different at 45 vs 25, but you should still make your best effort. Wives are not robots and even if she loves you, raw physical attraction will always be an element to a healthy sex life.
Yes exactly. I've had people call me an incel when I said looks are the most important factor. Yeah you need other things too but psychical attraction always comes first.
@@mrzackattack261 Their attacks at you missguided. While sex is a heavily emotional act, it’s still also physical act and our biology matters too.
I am 25 and from Bangladesh (southern-asia). Randomly played one of your videos and I liked it so that much that within 2/3 weeks i almost have completed your whole playlist and your my priority subscription in google podcast.
I have been never been in any relationship at all which made me very low in recent 2-3 years but your words made me rethink my whole situation and accept the my whole scenario more rationally. It’s helping me a lot in a bit rebuild of myself. I appreciate your work and want to thank you for that, your doing wonders for like of me.❤️✨
(Sorry for such long comment 😅)
This means the world to me! I’m so glad I’m able to help. Thanks for being here ❤️ wishing you all the best in 2024!
@@CourtneyRyan thank you and Please carry on and keep helping with your work 😁 ❤️✨
I'm one of many married guys who watch your channel, I find it helps me with my relationship with my wife . . . good job Courtney.
Great video. Divorced and trying to get back to dating. Maybe 2024 will be my year. 2013 was a disaster that lead to more disasters. 2020 looked easy compared to what I went through in 2013. September 2013 to Feb 2015 damaged me in so many ways. I'm hoping for a year of repair.
Happy new year! Thanks for the content. Love the fact I discovered this channel this year! After some self improvement and getting through school, I think with your help I can really start having the confidence to go out some time in the future. You are a good role model and have lots of good insights for a guy like me. Eye opening content to some degree and really hopeful/ confidence boosting as well. Thank you so much for the content you put out for us, and I hope you have a relaxing holiday!
Congratulations on your marriage C.R 👏 I wish you could interview more ladies but in audio only, so they can speak truthfully without being judged online. It seems as though your older videos they were playing it really safe and not truly saying what they felt. Maybe just Age and State they live in would suffice. I think men could learn a whole lot from women being totally honest in 2024 and beyond, even if said men dont want to hear it, thank you C.R, i wish you much continued success 🙏
Congrats on your marriage and Happy New Year! Wishing you and your husband the best in 2024.
Thank you Courtney! Been following your channels for around a year now. Even though i'm in a building phase and choosing to stay single, your videos all help!
1. every woman is different. EVERY woman. No one size fits all.
2. Be well groomed
3. Do more listening than talking.
4. Don't make assumptions.
5. Don't expect your 'getting some'. Enjoy a date. If you cant enjoy a night of somebodys company, then keep in mind MOST of your life with someone is NOT having sex.
6. This isn't 1975, a date shouldn't be you bragging about your accomplishments and thinking that impressing somebody is the way to EITHER have a one night stand or build a relationship.
7. If you have a formula for how to act on a date, that will be picked up immediately.
In dating a womans SAFETY is at stake. Which means she is more aware of you than you are of yourself.
I can still remember one of my first dates and literally saying "i'm looking for a long term steady girlfriend". Thinking that is what she wanted to hear. Turns out she had just gotten out of a stifling relationship and jumping back into another one was the last thing on her mind. Had I LISTENED a little more than talking, things may have turned out differently.
Its been for several years I haven't dated after my long relationship which ended and been watching your channel for a year and a half. Not so long ago, I went out of town and not 1 but 2 girls said hi to me randomly. We chatted, and I end up going on a date with one of them. To me, self-respect and love yourself plays a role. Will continue to watch your channel and want to wish you a safe and Happy New Years. Greetings from Southern California.
You're incredibly well spoken. You move from idea to idea so fluidly. Its pretty incredible to watch; like you dont buffer in between thoughts and rarely use the same type of language.
Wow stop simping or just tell her u wanna have sex
Much respect for not editing out what didn’t work out
Hi Courtney, I would like to see more content regarding how to approach women in public. Generally speaking, do young women like having guys approach them in public?
These videos calm me down so well, especially after literally just having a tought evening talking to a girl I’ve been trying to get to know for 8 months and feeling like I actually fucked up
Hi Courtney. Thank you so much for putting together this content for us. I've been trying to work on myself before putting myself out there, and your videos helped me along that path to be the best version of myself. When you are talking about online dating as a possible avenue for the introverted, what sites/apps would you recommend? And happy new year to you.
Do you have any tips for getting turned down for a date? If someone does turn me down for a date, what are appropriate and classy ways to handle it so as not to damage the relationship further? If you have to turn someone down for a date, how would you hope that he would handle it? Oddly, navigating that situation is one of the biggest concerns I have.
It's like you took the words right out of my mouth at 1:50 Courtney 😂😂😁 I've always told girls I'm interested in (and pretty much everyone) that I'm 34 years old, never had a girlfriend, virgin, etc.
cases like you anger and depress me a lot
@@initiatorhater0688 it doesn't really matter or affect anyone else. I've never had a relationship yet and I'm 34 years old 😅😅 None of that has changed anything (so far). Girls really are not attracted and it's a losing battle when they find out you've never had a relationship yet, especially when you're in your upper 20s, 30+
I've been constantly labeled by dates as too nice, too feminine, I've even been called gay, etc. I quit dating and left the game, so to speak.
well it makes me angry because its a reminder that its far more common for men than for women to enter their 30s and older and to have never dated, always been alone@@TheRustyNailx
@@initiatorhater0688 ohh well I've dated a lot 😅😅 just haven't had a lot of success 😕. I've tried a lot but some women are mean and they've even hooked up and flirted with other guys in front of me. Some of these guys have a lot more "game" than I do and women just flock to them, leaving me high and dry
Yeah it is depressing, but eventually you just get used to it. If women aren't going to show you any loyalty or commitment in return, then it's a waste of time. You start to appreciate the little smiles and nuances that you DO receive when you aren't looking so hard for women. Most of the time these women are unavailable, but at least you know that they find you a little attractive and mysterious. Sometimes they'll chat and seem to connect with you once in awhile. But it takes a lot for me to ask a woman out anymore, like I need to be 100% sure she's single and interested, and isn't one of those who would hook-up or cheat. I simply don't ask unless I have some familiarity and rapport, which takes awhile. Usually I don't see women regularly for long enough to do that
@@initiatorhater0688 going to a public gym, etc. and regularly attending classes is probably the best way to interact with women safely. You can say hello and become friends with them. Sometimes they do check you out and you have more success, but usually they already have boyfriends or a husband with kids. I appreciate the interaction, but would never cheat, so I don't try very hard with them. If they ask, I'd have to tell them no because they're already committed. Hopefully someone will be single and will show some interest
Wish you a happy new year Cortney 🎉!! Thank you for all the videos you did this year... Thank you 🙏 😊
When I go to a new city (I travel), I walk around. I observe what's going on, I talk to people cold-turkey in respectful, light-hearted, interesting ways. It works great.
as an inexperienced man or just being shy in general the tendency i think us men have is to not want to bother other people or try to always please others by making ourselves as non-threatening or non-sexual as possible like it's a constant worry, but here's a few tips i would give if i could go back in time to give myself advice.
make yourself comfortable because when you are comfortable you will come across as more confident which is good with people in general, like you can sense if someone is feeling a bit awkwardly placed or feel out of their element, that goes for you too and it's just easier to talk to someone who feels like they are happy and isn't stressing out or are nervous.
small things can lead to big things, you don't have to do something big or extreme to get noticed or have someone take an interest in you especially someone who is already kinda has their eye out for you they will take notice of your every move and women typically read into things more than guys do and you know how you can read into things sometimes, women do that too and often a lot harder (yes it's insane how much women read into things).
get comfortable with flirting in a casual playful way or just having a conversation because taking an interest in someone and/or being able to be playful is a big plus and also don't worry too much about it because often it doesn't really lead to much if they are simply not feeling it but it's a great start to get closer to other people and some will reciprocate and become really interested and you will just feel it and it's great and from there things typically move forward on their own but sometimes you have to push her boundaries a little because she might be nervous or expecting you to do things, but with that said try to be still comfortable in what you are doing but it's gonna be difficult because it might be uncharted territory and it can be hard but that's alright, if they like you they will forgive you.
i have a theory though and i'm not so sure if it's correct or not but i think it works for me more often than not and that's thinking about what i like and what i would have liked if others did those things to me, so let's say you have scenario of what you wish a woman would do to you to make you feel good or become interested, you do those things to the people who you would like to feel those things and hopefully you get the response you like and you can just keep at it. i really do think a good way to know or understand others is to first understand yourself.
also this whole bar and club scene, it's not a must but i think it's an excellent place to practice, because people are expecting people to take an interest in them and expecting a bit of conversation with strangers and flirting and so on and i think it's an easy way to increase your comfortability with those things in a place where those things are common place and if you fail it's less of a big deal and it can be just a fun little story how you failed to flirt with someone or got turned down super hard or whatever and if you just don't feel comfortable you can still just enjoy yourself and look at others and observe a bit and maybe get a few tricks up your sleeve for some other time.
personally i think it's best to see people in person because that's really where the magic happens so that's why i'm not a big advocate for dating apps, it's really difficult to convey everything you want through photos and text.
and the very last thing, it's very normal to feel nervous or be uncomfortable approaching others or being open with others in that way because it is a bit of a high pressure situation and sometimes you just have to push yourself through it and when you do after you will feel like such a fool for being so nervous and uncomfortable in the first place, the first times are always the hardest because of that.
Online dating is a big part of why marriages and relationships don’t last long today.
Online dating has taken prominence because the friends groups/mixers/ other organic ways have all become pase. All of those possibilities have been "outsourced" to "ask the other friends " ..."try other groups" etc. Online dating has taken up that slack.
Your videos provide great deep insoghts with motivation for introvert men and keep motivated to look forward to build new relationships with people. Thanks a lot Courtney, it really helps for people living abroad outside their hometown
Wish you a Happy New Year Courtney and thanks for the very valuable and interesting content.
Courtney, I think that your content is valuable; even more so now that you are successfully married. I don't wish your niche to be diluted to your detriment, but I strongly feel that the interwebs needs more content creators like you, and less content created by single women complaining that 'all men' are trash and give awful dating advice (manipulation) to other women. I feel that we need more positive content creators like you showing examples of what to do to achieve success, if you define success as creating a mutually fulfilling pair bond, not how to sabotage your dating life. Thanks for all that you've done, and will do in the future, and Happy New Year!
On your part of deep connections. I think that online dating is kind of like a double edged sword. It does make it easier to meet people but then no one wants to take the time to get to know anyone because they are worried that they will miss out on the bigger better deal.
Back when the only option was to meet someone in the wild it was harder to meet people so when you did meet someone you would give them more of a chance to get to know them.
Courtney hitting us with an end of year banger! Courtney, you are wonderful. Your content is so refreshing. Is there a 2.0 single Courtney Ryan I can take out?
A pleasure as always to extract so much useful knowledge from that brain of yours, Courtney 😌
I'm not a virgin and i had a girlfriend at 20 but havent been able to meet a woman that wants to stick around and be with me. I'm 34 now. Women dont notice me and i feel invisible to women. I was never able to meet anyone through friends. They just told me to go on dating sites and so it yourself. Everyone i know is married now and im alone and still livjng in my dads house. I'm planning to emigrate to another country and try and meet women abroad as Ireland hasnt worked for me.
Online dating is a horrible place for most men. Personally, I wouldn't try it because it's a waste of time. Your chances are a lot better going out in the world.
I will definitely check the second channel but I totally respect privacy.
Obviously this channel is for us ( guys) so definitely it is good to re-educate oneself as we can not take things for granted specially when comes to the opposite sex.
Congratulations on your wedding, and best wishes for your future with your husband!
Love that I’m watching this on Valentine’s Day 😂
2024 is the Year Courtney hits 1 mil subscribers. I feel it. Keep on keeping on Courtney!
Hi, Courtney. I saw a RUclips video from a male two weeks ago on how to 'handle' women and I just had to comment to him as I thought he was misguided (and partially miguiding others). You stand for what's right and you call out what's wrong, regardless if it's a woman or a man, and this is very refreshing, it's a call for sane people to stay sane, lol, and it's working, thank you. Here's my long-winded reply to the guy, feel free to round off the edges: "Kudos for raising awarness, many men will benefit from it, although... As a Sigma male in my 50's and although there's a different outcome with ladies of different times, demographics and regions, my sole ingredient to approaching a lady is to be myself, regardless of what women think and look for in a man. I am me: I'm not trying to be someone else, or someone else's fantasy, or play games or time my texting, and she's where she's at today. To me, a relationship is not about acting or out-smarting etc, it's about being myself and feeling great and in synch naturally with her. There are ladies out there for who I am, and that's who I want. Otherwise, acting "like this" or "like that" towards a woman means I'd be catering to her sh-t test for life and playing her games and not be the authentic me, so she "wins", and I'll want out of the toxicity (my own and hers). She leaves me because I open the door for her? Do I want a woman like that who doesn't appreciate good things and good intentions? I observe her reaction. She did me a favour and failed MY sh-t test. That's what dating is about, to see if we're compatible and, if we're not, I still wish the lady all the best for her entire life as that's what my genuine initial intention was in the first place, and that doesn't change after a date break-up: if it was bad, I look pass her 'littleness' and I let her go in my mind, without feeling ill from it, as she's free to feel the same thing about me but let's be adults and there's a way to deliver that message (which will also impact both sides and on our future dating). We tried. High five. (No low five though, darn, lol). I disagree that all women are not special (that approach to me is like putting on a shield, bracing for impact in case there's a hit): all women are special, until they're not. (How does it feel hearing a woman say all men or not special!) I take direct hits like a man and I don't move an inch (yes, I've had practice over the years and I sport many scars, lol, some women are plain mean and ill-intentioned... some men, too.) I'm not going to turn into a jerk because of women: I stay who I am, or I adapt, learn and get better. If a woman feels entitled because I gave her a nice treatment, then to me it means that she's lost track of the human moment (love, friendship, digging each other's company freely) and for paper (money): she's in a way different mindset than I am, or she's weak or immature or inexperienced, or worse, poor thing, she had a rough time or is not equipped to navigate life as it is today (some "modern women"). Giving 'flowers' or opening the door and such is a testimony of who I am in general, my intentions, and how I think of her... animals do that in the wild kingdom, it's a selection process... it's a primitive yet effective and simple indicator of the future: will the nest be built or abandonned mid-way by the partner, and will the kids have a reliable father, a steady source of food and an increased chance of survival? On the flip side, will the mother be caring and nurturing with good values? If I don't see her as special, then I'm probably not going to provide those, because I don't care. Caring makes me stronger as it elevates my testosterone even more, same for my adrenaline, and it gives me another purpose (granted, not at any cost). I want my gene pool (kids) not only to survive, but to thrive and replicate "as I'm nature's best" and I'm making sure of it. I don't want to "put her in her place" because she's not my type or because she needs to be controlled to feel "something'; rather, I desire a genuinly good woman who's nice in her own authentic self and who doesn't require to be put in her place (instead she puts that mature energy towards smiles and being fun to be around, I'm not her father): it's so much more rewarding and everything falls into place more naturally this way, and it's less work, it works longer, more intensily, and it's less expensive. Oh does she need the occasional reminder? For sure! Do I need to be reminded to treat her respectfully? For sure! Fair is fair, we're both not perfect and the other makes us better. I may have bigger muscles than she does, but I don't feel the need to belittle her. She may have a larger chest than I do, but a good woman won't use them against me. When the two get along though... man oh man, lol. Yeah. I attract the good ladies while the bad ones don't even approach me as they know by instinct where I stand: Good: yes. Bad: not going to happen. It's in my eyes. I treat the good ladies right (and I'm rewarded for it) and I don't get involved with the bad ones. The lady in the first seconds of your video is a lost cause to me... that would be about a 10-second date for me. Look at her eyes: she's in lala land, she's not a woman to me, just a zombie who lost her ways in a world of abundance whereas I desire a real down to earth woman (but let me tell you, she'd cling on fast to a man during an apocalypse, as nature would have it for survival and I don't feel superior from that: I was born a Thor, what can I say, like most men have (and that's where you come in I find, making and chiseling men into Thors). Now should I be a good or bad Thor? Most people in a position of power become bad, unfortunately, because they are weak (and it makes them feel good to see others down, instead of rising themselves up). I decided to be the good Thor and, no worries, my hammer is visible to everyone and I use it when required, only when required but that's another story). I love being the nice Thor as it weeds out the bad girls... I'm like that knowingly, I see how she reacts and from that I see what she's made of: solid gold, or plated gold, an asset, or a life-long liablility. Giving is more fun and more empowering than receiving (it's not a weakness, but rather a strenght): I don't need much receiving to be happy as I'm providing to myself... and giving stems from overabondance. In a nut shell, as a man I see women 49% body, 51% mind: If her mind isn't there (lost her way as per the above), then she fails to enter in a relationship with me regardless of her looks, status, fame and money. Period. I ended up marrying a lady from Brazil who's heart, mind and soul have been left unadulterated by money and fame, she's an asset and not a liability and man, I mean, she checks all the boxes on her own plus a few more and, well, yeah, you get me. I enjoyed your video and I learned from it, thanks bro!" Cheers Courtney, you're a flagship to goodness and I apply many of your suggestions, or you remind me to stay the course, and it works. Btw, I have to watch your videos twice... the first time I look, the second time I listen ;-) It's a compliment. Stay Gold! Hug.
For God sake, no one is going to properly read your english essay of a text
Focus on the most important stuff and keep it focused.
Discovered your channel a few months ago and definitely one of the best by far.
One thing that a lot of female creators in the “relationship” space and even red pill creators will not say or touch on, is that being able to satisfy your woman is literally the single strongest predictor of that relationship lasting. Women will justify and talk themselves around salary, other behaviors, friend circle, etc. if the fun time is solid. If you’re a 5-7 but have great bed game, you’re instantly an 8-10 in their eyes.
The big issue I’ve run into with online dating is that the opportunities are scarce unless you live in a big city.
Online dating works for beautiful people. Average to below average men don't have any chance in online dating. It will only harm your self esteem. I avoid online dating completely.
Dating in general is only for beautiful people, and women.
Dating isn't really something that happens for undesirable ugly subhuman manlets like me.
Your fragrance channel is fantastic! Hopefully you guys will post again. I thought you looked familiar lol
I just got out of engagement almost 3 months ago . We fought all the time, she had attitude and tone that wasn’t pleasant to be around with. She put me down ( I did too) but with all that i still love her.
Given that i want to be with her but i know I shouldn’t.
I have hard time talking to other girls because feeling is so strong still
I'm glad you put that advert of me up on your RUclips video a hour ago with the gentleman dressed to impress all the ladies out there with a suit and tie. Really hit me with reality that I could be that person attracting the female gender in the right way 👌👍
Thank you Courtney for all your videos. Started watching them in September this year.
I am an introverted person, but like to go out and spend time with friends when I'm home, met a few wonderful woman. Biggest dilemma I have when it comes to dating for me is my work schedule and type of work, I work in telecom climbing cell towers. Currently work 4 weeks on and 1 week off which is standard in my industry, most of the jobs are within a reasonable driving distance, but sometimes other states as well. Pursued a couple woman who at first didn't care or see it as an issue that my job requires me to be away for 4 weeks at a time, only to be told afrer a few months its not working out. 2 woman on seperate occassions(wasn't seeing them both at the same time) drove out to where my job had us working a few times, but after a couple months was told its too much and wouldn't work out.
Been divorced for 3 years, was married for 9 years, and feel like it somehow lowered my self esteem tremendously and made me scared to talk to girls as well as other people in general.
We are with you Courtney. Your work is more important than one can imagine. This is only just the beginning. Beautiful.
#StopSimping2024
Yes Courtney, we would love you talk more about intimacy and those "taboo" with no reason topics. It can help out there a lot of men. Happy new year and wish you the best. 🎉
I appreciate that you give more in depth material.
Happy Friday Courtney. ❤
it is 2024 on Monday! 😮
Hope you’re doing well Amiga.💜
As you are our dating expert coach and our friend we definitely need a video on how to approach women in person in real life if this is possible.
Dating away from online dating way.😅
You too my friend! Have a wonderful new years! 🤍
My wife just asked for a divorce after 18 years. I'm 47 years old and the thought of starting over and dating again makes me sick to my stomach.
Been div. 9 years now, its hard ,then better, now great it's liberating, get help. Get your head on straight, not the END just the BEGINNING.
Same boat and same feeling
Cheers 🥂 to the new year Courtney. Unfortunately, dating has not worked out for me, so im just keeping my head down and work. I look forward to content other than dating
Had lots of trouble when it come to women, tried the whole online dating thing. And wasted a lot of money in the process. After some "me" time; like a solid year, I ended up meeting my girlfriend in the one place I probably wasn't supposed to; at work. 🤣 But hey it's going very well, so I'm happy and she's happy!!!
Though I am older, and divorced, I enjoy your content. Sometimes I have to "translate" what you say to my situation, but it's a place to start
Thanks for all your help Court! Appreciate you taking the time to help men...You are definitely a high value woman...😶
A good place to meet new people. Is at the laundromat. Take a good book with you. open up the conversation about the book you are reading
I'm a real late bloomer indeed. 27 and I've never had a girlfriend due to my lack of self esteem and confidence 😢
Cases like you I think are becoming more common in modern times
Hi Courtney! Just wanted to say that you have one of the best RUclips channels! 💯
Aw thank you so much! 🥹
This video really helped with the answers on where to meet new people. You got married on my birthday too, amazing coincidence! Thank you for the advice.
If there are emotion between persons then everyone in the date are inexperienced. It is humane to make errors and even can improve relationship.
Courtney, regarding what you said about a bar (or a club) is probably not a good place to meet someone, a guy I met way back in college (and got to be friends with) in the mid-to-late 90's, his wife is someone he met in a C&W dance club way back in the late 90's (married since 2001). A bar or club is probably not a good place to meet someone, but it's worked out so far for them.
One lesson in relationsships, never associate your otherhalf with business it tends to lead to bad outcomes when emotions are involved.
Encourage discipline, whats yours is yours whats hers is hers.
Have a wonderful New Year, Courtney! ❤
Hi Courtney, have you seen the video from Greg Doucette: Gym Girl: Stop Staring At My Cervix. Basically the girl is half naked in the gym, and she acts like a victim because an old guy is starring at her. Can you please make a video on this topic?