Crack Addict interview-Zenobia
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
- Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Zenobia, a crack addict on Skid Row.
For ad-free, uncensored videos and plenty of exclusive content please subscribe to the Soft White Underbelly subscription channel at softwhiteunderbelly.com. It's $10 a month and watchable on Apple and Android mobile apps, Roku TV, Apple TV and Amazon Fire.
Here's a link to a GoFundMe campaign to help some of the people seen in SWU interviews: gofund.me/9eba...
![Cody Johnson - I'm Gonna Love You (with Carrie Underwood) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/yy9PuYMU29g/mqdefault.jpg)
Probably the most honest interviewee you’ve had about the lure of drugs. She doesn’t want to die or get clean. So sad.
I agree 💯. She was one of very few who was totally honest and I appreciate that so much as opposed to other interviews that are not honest with themselves
I can see your point! But in reality, this "honesty" and trust me on that as I'm an addict myself, ALL addicts say that!! As you hear, this is TOP priority! It's SO difficult to get clean so you prefer to surrender! If you don't have any power left... as sad as it sounds... the surrender is drugs till the END since the other side seems mission impossible...
She does want to get clean, the mountain just feels too big for her to climb so she sits at the bottom unwilling to even look up.
@marikon3 I'm a recovering addict and June 28th was 3 years clean for me and I'm going to be 53 in a couple of weeks. I hate that it took me so long to get my shit together but I never thought I'd get clean. Now my life is just completely different and I know it sounds cliche but it's so true
Sad doesn't even begin to describe her...more like pathetic and gross!!
Like she says " I put crack before everything...my kids are grown, my mom and dad raised them" 🤢🤢🤢
Her honesty is refreshing yet sad.
Your comment is simply stated and 💯 % truth.
I think it's a dude
She expressed herself very clearly
Hard looking for a black woman at 46
She looks good for 47 !
@@kovin-ashleychetty5159agree imagine if she wasn’t an addict😢
Because she came to terms with what she does and is transparent. Nothing to hide. I don't care if you like me or not type energy
@@kovin-ashleychetty5159 not trying to say this in mean way, but she actually looks ROUGH for 47! 😬 I'm 40. My mom is 63 in a few weeks and my mom looks 20 years younger than this lady. The drugs and the streets have definitely taken their toll on this lady. I think she definitely had potential to look amazing at 47 without those factors. I can definitely see the beauty underneath all that. Hopefully one day she can accept getting into therapy instead of drugs and turn things around. I think it would benefit every aspect of her life. Learning how to move past the pain without drugs. Being able to be involved with her kids and grandkids. Not being a slave to drugs. I think her looks would definitely get better as well. What I see is a very hurt woman who's just trying to numb it all away who doesn't know she is strong enough to beat this. The way she thinks drugs are helping her be happy is the same thought process as a prostitute thinking her abusive pimp is good because he protects her from other people beating on her.😔Hopefully one day she realizes her own strength to overcome this before it's too late.
"...Drugs had already consumed me...I was already lost" --- Her story DREW me in and KEPT me .. excellent excellent storyteller.
Zenobia, thank you! You're treading water... I pray you do not sink.
She's one of the most self aware addicts I have ever seen....the way she can speak about life and drug use sp eloquently 😮
One of the most real and honest interviews I’ve seen on this channel. It’s amazing that after all this time of heavy drug use that she’s so lucid. She seems like such an intelligent, observant and introspective person. A wonderful storyteller as well. There’s so much more out there for you Zenobia and you’re worthy of it. Wishing you strength to beat this.
Wish for something realistic
did you listen to her? she ain’t getting clean, she loves her crack!
@@aspartamekillsyaknow9019. Anyone can get off drugs, with the right help and support, especially medical support. I’ve seen people do it, who you would guess never could. No one is a lost cause, because of an addiction.
Amen
I love her raw honesty. It’s annoying when they try to act like they are good parents etc. she’s straight up about everything. Thank you Zenobia for a great interview.
This was such a hard video to watch. Zenobia was so raw and real, but she was also so honest. She recognizes that running toward the drugs is a factor in a lot of pain in her life but it also relieves the pain she feels as well. It is a never-ending cycle for her. She also recognizes that it is something that can be the end of her. I do hope that she can get better, find a path in life in which she can get clean. It may seem hopeless, but I will always keep hope for her.
"Don't try to swim the ocean.. you'll drown. But if you just tread water..you'll make it" - Zenobia
Her face immediately lit up when she remembers how her drugs make her feel.. after sharing her pain and regrets. This shook me. Zenobia you are an amazing person. Hope you one day get clean and get over the pain.
What's so amazing? She chose to give her kids up for dope. Addicts are the most irresponsible people and I can't respect that at all
C'mon man! What is so amazing about her? Simply that she's surviving!! Please.
@@chrisroebuck7083 she's only surviving enough to get high. That's why they move to skid row. Anybody could survive just enough down there. There's all types of services they scam from the system that taxpayers pay for. They eat for free and spend their govt benefits on dope. All that does is enable them to keep being a dope fiend. There's nothing amazing about people getting high, get real. She deserves every hardship that comes with being a fiend. The only person she has left to screw over is herself, so please
“The guilt and shame eats me alive.” Truest words ever spoken. I spent 12 years under that weight. Couldn’t be happier to let that all go a few years ago. I wish her luck.
It's amazing her description of the drug is so lucid. This is fascinating to try to understand the "draw" to a drug if you never experienced using.
Maybe you should try it then if it's so fascinating and amazing
@@aspartamekillsyaknow9019not helpful
nah bruh most people not ready for how crack heroin and meth make them feel and think. That why these drugs get a hold on people they get tricked into thinking its their protection or thebest thing to do all the time. it better to not open the pandoras box if u arent ready @@aspartamekillsyaknow9019
crack is wack
Sounds like you want to try it
She comes across nice and friendly, but I am pretty sure she can take you to the dark side if you choose to mess with her. I pray that one day, she tires of the crack and wants to get sober.
I totally can see that
I pray that one day society wakes up and sees why people are addicted...
You are not wrong but that dark side. I think the dark side would not be a good thing. God bless her heart 💗
She has the face of a sad clown that could turn around and mess you up if you take away her crack lol
Zenobia seems like one cool person. I wish her well.
A cool person that would take you hostage for drugs...hmmmm...she's interesting...but pretty sure dangerous as well.
I could be friends with her. She's keeping it real.
@@Glamma_Karenshe doesn’t have friends or want friends unless you smoke crack.
@@Glamma_Karenbe friends with a drug addict and watch pieces of your life and valuables disappear . A person's personality and morality are totally separate. Don't be fooled by everyone with a charismatic personality
Until she holds you up for ransom.
All these crack moms are my mom. She finally took her own life. The devastation is real. The guilt was real. I’ve had to do lots of forgiving. #highmoms #missyou
Im a recovering addict myself and this interview was so raw, i rarely cry but this made me shed a few tears because i understand exactly how she feels. If you see this baby you can do this! I didn't think i would ever get out of it either but I managed to pull through to the other side. Keep pushing, never give up hun...as long as you're here there's hope. It wont be easy but it will be worth it!! Sending love hope and light 💜
You are right , if you are breathing there is hope
i wish the best for you, keep pushing ❤️
I find her speaking style to be poetic.
I'm so glad other people see this! It's quite beautiful.
Descriptive, poetic , articulate, vivid , raw, chilling, honest, love and praying for you.
God bless
May God deliver her from her addiction
Amen 🙏
Oh, man, this hit me straight in the heart.
When she broke down and showed her true feeling I felt her pain like a train hit my chest.
This is one of the best interviews I've seen this year.
She looks so tough and hard, and she is because she needs to be.
But inside she's just in many ways still thst little girl.
Damn, this woman has experienced so much pain from an early age no wonder she smokes to oblivion.
No one can live with that trauma without masking it someway or another.
Being taken advantage of at 15 that just determined her course right there.
Had she been taken out of her home with the addicted mother and that evil man that abused her, and Bern given intense theraphy as a child she might have made it.
But she was already so damaged so when that teacher or whatever tok advantage of her at 15 she saw it as a saving. Of course she fell in love with that pipe because it took away everything that was painful.
She had no chance.
I'm happy her mother got clean though and they had a great relationship.
And against all odds her two adult children doesn't do drugs, that's amazing.
This woman will stay with me for a long time.
I feel her through and through. She is describing the disease of addiction exactly as it is. Different circumstances, same depth of pain and damage to self-confidence, guilt,shame, regret it’s the same. Thank you for articulating so vividly Zenobia. When you’re ready, there are solutions. Be blessed.❤
Amazing how she started off joyfully explaining how much she loves being and getting high with a big smile on her face and then switched to being sad and talking of her pain and how it takes her pain of being raped and molested. Addiction is a hell of a thing. She cares for nothing apart from her pipe and it's contents but hates it too. So very sad.
She was likely high at start of interview and coming down towards the end...
When she speaks of starting on crack, she references a time in her mind that was exciting sex with someone she enjoyed. As the years went on crack changed as did her life. She is so fortunate to have had good people take care of her children.
Her speaking about crack ,her face lights up like an elderly lady speaking of her first love.
There is so much truth to having a program to get sober right in the drug assessable area. It’s great to have the sign in area there , but perhaps then a bus out to a rehabilitation facility in the desert. That way if you run away you die on the hot sand, forcing you to get sober then a safe house for a year of job training, then relocating to somewhere where you know no one. One can dream of getting clean , one can get there with an iron will & lots of help.
Thank goodness the chain of addiction has been broken with her children. There is still hope ,there is hope as long as you breath.
Thats part of addiction if you dont know you cant judge period
@@lesliejones1720 i do know
Feel this SO fucking hard.
I love how Mark asks the hard questions. Never judgmental but often insightful for us but also for the one being interviewed.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone in such a bad addiction being so proud
Thats honesty, not pride
She lights up and smiles when she talks about it.
It's ridiculous! I don't care if your kids are grown! That doesn't give you an excuse to be able to do what you want, smoking crack and choosing to be homeless!! Kids will always need their parents no matter their age!
She’s in pain
@@Vistacraft82honesty doesn’t cover bad behaviour. She relished in the memory of how crack makes her feel.
That was heartbreaking. Please keep us updated on her journey.
That’s the most powerful of all the interviews I’ve watched. Such a lovely lady. No fault to her. She shouldn’t feel guilty or ashamed.
Really?! 🤔
@@sararahman7731yes, really.
To some extent is her fault after so many years have went by and her children are now grown. She is very honest but still very selfish. She says “who am I hurting by getting high” no regards for her children and parents who hurt for her.
@@mariahyohannes we not equal. Maybe her parental instincts were weak at that time. Don’t judge through angle of yourself.
@@annakavan1869 At that time? She is still a mother, she still has time to make things right. I am not judging her.
She's telling it like it is, which is respectable.
There was a point where her Mom didn’t care that a lit match had been thrown into her hair… but by the end, after getting clean, her mom was looking for her on skid row while battling cancer… if mom did a 180, maybe you can too ❤
These are the words I wanted to see and didn't know how to say. Thank you
i think drug addiction isn‘t being drawn to the substance itself but more to the world that comes with it. it turns people into different persons, it soothes anxiety, it numbs pain, it blocks out noise for sensitive people, it creates a strength which some people sadly never learned how to build up themselves. some people are alive because drugs allowed them to. others may turn suicidal and then society also wants them to get „normal“ and „function well“. go to work. pay taxes. build a family. be happy. no one wants to teach how to reach all that. everyone has to figure it out by themselves. and some never got the tools to do so. some people want to escape this world. this system. and i understand them.
Perfectly said..
Truly.
That was beautifully explained. Thank you
These videos keep me sober. Thanks Mark. :)
Me to, I'm in recovery and I'm here every morning just to remind myself that I don't need that lifestyle ever again!
Get yourself a dog and you'll stay sober ❤
I am good. I have myself :) But i've heard dogs and cats do wonders. @@MARKHENSTROM
Zenobia, you can face your pain. I'm an addict and I thought I would die from all the trespasses I was using over. Just try recovery for 1 year when you're ready. At first I felt on fire without my booze but AA helped me walk through it and the pain subsided way sooner than I expected. You don't need the cooperation of your oppressors to overcome and create a bridge to freedom. The more you were wronged, the more you DESERVE to enjoy the rest of your life without this anchor. But nothing happens until you decide.
This is beautiful. I needed to read it, thank you. Recovery seems truly unattainable.
it is understandable to doubt our ability to recover but if we zoom into the next right thing instead of the large goal of getting freed, it becomes less daunting. Being willing to allow others in recovery the light the way and try things you don't believe will work can lead to an amazing transformation in a year. If at the end of that year, you don't like your life, our substance of choice will always take us back.
@@serenityfreedom3096 ♥️
"Dont try to swim the ocean, you'll drown. Just tread water"
Thats so heavy, explains addiction perfectly.... thats why we in recovery sometimes take it minute by minute, hour by hour, 24 by 24. 💜
What a very intelligent woman. How I wish she could find in her heart that deep down she wants to be sober. Kindness in her is everywhere!
This lady hasn't completely lost herself, she is probably the most honest and self aware addict you've had on the channel. I wish her the best. Very sad that so many addicts have children though, I'm so sorry for them.
she contradicts herself so much in the interview that it does feel like that's her entire M.O. meaning... every single moment of her life is full of conflict and uncertainty.... very illuminating to see someone speak so clearly about addiction.
Yeah, I thought the same thing, she was. Very said.
Hey Mark. This is a good friend of mine that I know personally and haven't seen years. Last I did communicate with her was on social media and that was like 3 years ago. She was clean at the time and had herself together. So sad 😢. Dang Zenobia.
God Bless you Huny and I Love You friend. Beautiful ❤️ woman with a huge 💜❤️💯🙏💕
I watched the still portrait you took of her as she spoke and you asked her about her regrets. Her still face, immediately changed...I was speechless. That moment was like an oasis of pain in a desert of bliss.
So much love babe. So much❤
There is something pure and beautiful about Zenobia. I wish her well.
Wow ! This was an amazing interview! She was so open and honest and the conversation flowed naturally! Gotta respect her honesty
This one smoked everything away and appears to have no regrets.
Wow .. this one brought me to tears . Her honesty and raw description of what she experiences hits hard 😢😢😢
I'm so glad I never used drugs. Growing up in an abusive home, I know how fine the line is to take the wrong path. I was so full of rage. I was fortunate to grow up in an upper middle class neighborhood and I had friends that I could count on and welcomed in their homes. My friend across the street had a father who was a psychiatrist. His father rarely spoke and was a chain smoker. His family life was abnormal as well. His father committed suicide after we graduated college. Watching these videos make me realize how close I really was to derailing my life. My anger is why I got myself into therapy. I was afraid I would end up with a government issued toothbrush and orange pajamas with a cell mate. Life is full of choices. Establishing a baseline of what is acceptable and unacceptable providing me with a guide. I'm so grateful for my friends, therapist and doctors as well as my education.
Her story is beyond words, my love to the queen💕. Sharing her truth✊🏾
She's doing what she loves, can't hate her for that. She's in love, in lust, glorifying the crack rock.
I've never seen anyone light up with such excitement for a drug.
I love her energy, seems like a cool, chill persom, loving. We can only imagine what horrors her childhood held, she alluded to a few. And she describes the pain of both her and her son, the fact that she cant be there for him. The cycle continues. I doubt shell ever get well, she seems too far gone, and thats super sad. I appreciate knowing of her, and this interview. So much pain below the surface...
She reminds me of my Dad. No shame addict. And she ain’t lyin.. they don’t be wanting to get clean they want to smoke crack. It’s sad for us but the best life ever in their mind
Damn. Crack is her long time lover. Bitter sweet I guess. How is she even still alive let alone this intelligent and animated ? She’s a great storyteller. She was honest and genuine.I am thankful I stopped by to watch her ❤❤
This is very poetic. Such a vivid , terrifying and powerful interview.
She got sucked into this addiction while her body and brain were still developing. So sad.
Zenobia is such a beautiful name.
Sending a gentle hug to her, and her son. I wish you both peace, whatever that looks like for you both
This could've been me had I not made a conscience choice to quit drugs almost 30 years ago. My daughter was 8 and I was getting high. I got down on my knees one day and begged God to help me change. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I thank God for freeing me from what my life could've been. I pray for you Zenobias, you can do it, it's scary dealing with the monsters of guilt and shame but if you don't confront them they will eat you alive..
“Man I looked like a Wolf “.I’ve been there Ms Zenobia .
Great smile , kind eyes .She handles her drug very well .
I appreciate the honesty of this woman. She spitting facts about how organizations coddle drug addicts and give them everything they need. No point in getting clean if your habit is supported
your tax dollars at work....
Eh it's not that easy. I'm sorry. I was an addict for 7 years there wasn't enough programs or medication to get off drugs luckily I got clean because I had family. Idk how she is so happy I was in hell depressed homeless knew I was bound for more and I'm lucky. I did get clean that life isn't fun at all
It's not easy to get clean I've been fighting this battle for 30 yrs.i have 7 yrs clean one day at a time. It's definitely been a journey
This story just broke my heart. I feel for this woman. So much pain she’s been through… Thank you for this, Mark.
The sad part is she seems like a really good person. I pray she changes her mind and her life
Kidnapping someone does not make you a "nice" person.
Ya, she's such a good person that CHOOSES d@mn drugs over her own KIDS! And let's not forget the person SHE HELD HOSTAGE! SICK DISGUSTING D£M0N!
She should just take enough drugs to end it. Nothing but a disgrace, and useless to society.
Why? She got this far......
Seems like she lets herself go man. I don't know😢
‘Everybody’s addiction is different.’ That is profound.
How very, very sad. I hope her children are happy and healthy, bless them.
I wish her well. I gotta say I love her voice
Although mark claims he’s not an interviewer this one really shows otherwise. The first half of the interview she seems completely shameless and not at all regretful of her addiction. Once you start prying mark you cracked her hardened exterior and showed a glimmer of the pain behind it all. I wasn’t expecting to empathize this woman at the beginning but the vulnerability you peeled back showed such a raw pain. I can’t say I even begin to understand but at least now i empathize
This interview is so helpful. My mom has been an addict my whole life for a long time she was a functional addict. Now she is bad like she lost all her teeth don’t care about nothing and no one of it’s not benefiting her. It’s so sad it’s depressing and I always try to understand that having a addiction is a mental illness that they can not control but it hurts so bad. My heart hurts right now just thinking about it.
I totally get it. My dad is was a functioning addict now full blown addict just don’t care about life anymore. It has hurt the family so much to see him destroy hisself😢
She was at peak high the first 12 minutes of this interview. This how long crack highs last. 10-12 minutes. But can bring a lifetime of pain.
The truth came out real fast after all the fake happy drug addict stuff, wow!!!!! Just gotta pray for people like her that the light will click on and they get the help they need. Wish her , her son and other children the best, I can't even imagine.
It seems like happiness when you think about the pleasure of getting the thing you want.
Well said. I felt the same however you explained it pretty
Interesting video : self confidence, smile, inner strength to despair, tears and disenchantment.
Guys drugs are not a joke 😢😢😢
This interview was to the bone… she’s so articulate… & hurting. Zenobia, I wish you love, luck & strength. Thank you for sharing your story❤️
Her transparency was amazing... I can feel her pain through the video, and I know she wants to get clean but with all that pain the drugs numbs everything and that is where she is comfortable. We all like being comfortable.
Another intelligent human being held hostage. The darkness didn’t start at 15 here. That first puff of crack was just an evil ripple on the way from the Devils’ carnival of wasted lives.
Thank u for sharing ur truth. Makes me realize me getting clean and making sure my children have no trauma is a major purpose because i didn't have that❤
It’s crazy how crack affects everyone differently… I’m amazed by how long she’s been battling this addiction & not strung out of her mind… meanwhile some have been on it for a shorter span & can’t even think straight…
WOW! This was as honest as iv ever watched. She's right addiction is a disease. People give there whole lives just for the high. Shes such a lovely person, I hope you she finds happiness in the mix of the mayhem ❤
Please Mark keep in contact with her, id love to know more of her story
Prayers for zenobia. You can overcome your addiction. My relationship with god helped me overcome my crack addiction. You can do the same.
Yes!!!!!
Wow. She just straight up loves her drug and has no problem admitting it…tells you how darn strong the drug is.
When that facade dropped man did it hit me hard
This was one of my favorite interviews… brutal honesty ❤😢
Wow so interesting and insightful. Her honestly is truly amazing. Hope she can find the peace that she deserves.
I was going to judge here and talk about how she has no shame for not being there for her kids... but then I LISTENED to her.
She is correct in what she says about the county rehab places. They enter addicted and leaves a better addict. These people canNOT have a chance to recover without proper detox first and these places do NOT have that. It is a myth that you keep them a week or so, let them suffer, than they recover. Zenobia has no idea how interesting she is. She has deep intelligence and a charm with authenticity that makes me want to listen to her. I hope she does make it. She has a son who loves her so much. She is worth so much more than this and she knows it.
Uggh.....her honesty and the raw emotions that even she, high as a kite, cannot escape. So sad. God bless her and keep her safe!!
I am astounded how her brain can be functioning at this level . She is an anomoly . I wish her peace and happiness wherever that is for her.
They should show this videos at schools
I totally get that this is a disease, but sis didn’t even try to get clean. Not even try at least for her kids. I can’t understand it because I’m not an addict, but it’s honestly a sad situation for all
I respect her honesty. Alot of people her age who do drugs have no reason to quit. They have given up on a "normal" life and as long as they can get their drug they are happy.
This channel has really humanized street drug addicts for me. To listen to them speak and really hear their pain is heart wrenching. I could really hear her soul crying in this interview. Very very sad. I hope she will find a way to help herself.
She’s beautiful hope she gets help so she can enjoy her grand babies 🙏
Zenobia I hope you see all these comments one day! We heard you touch on the pain you had to endure but you have a gift! I can't phrase it well but your honesty was just heart touching. Please don't give up on yourself. We are rooting for you
These are the most honest, fascinating interviews I've ever seen.
They are also so very, very sad. She doesn't even want help
I agree with you 💯
Yes she does. Are you kidding? Shes begging god to change her situation.
When she relives her memories of drug use, she’s listing her glory days as if she’s proud of it.
This interview touched my heart so. I pray and wish she finds her way home to her son. They both need each other.
Ask your kids if you’re ‘not hurting nobody.’
She knows she is hurting her kids. She said it, she knows it. Addiction is a horrible selfish disease. She knows.
And she hurts herself
Did you even watch the video, Moron?
You didn’t watch shit before you spoke 😂😂😂😂
deep inside it hurts her more then it hurts anyone else
My heart goes out to her. God love her. I feel her pain.😢😢
It's one thing if you don't have kids..smoke crack till the day you die! But I don't care if your kids are grown or not..THEY WILL ALWAYS NEED YOU!!
I appreciate her honesty and really she seems very nice. I’ve been around some female crackheads before and they were mean as snot and scandalous too !!!!!
If you are reading this there’s a reason……No matter how good or bad you have it,wake up each day thankful for your life.Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs ❤️🇧🇸
Im sorry but i had to stop watching because as someone who is now at 3 years clean from a 16 year heavy relationship to snorting cocaine turned to snorting 30 mg oxy blues turned to shooting heroin and meth, i lost parental rights of my boys by the grace of God my parents have guardianship so i still get to see them but its so hard not being the momma i know i am now especially since i had my daughter 3 years ago and i stopped when i found out i was pregnant at 5 weeks. I found strength and the reasons to quit, and never looked back. It just seems like shes bragging and it beeaks my heart when she chooses to not even try to quit and put her kids first or even herself before her drug. I hope she realizes how beautifully Wonderful she is and she can do it and life can be beautiful ❤
*i did watch the rest of the video, and i am so sorry for all of her pain. Like i said i bet she has the strength to quit, as hard as it may be can you imagine how proud your kids will be if you make that change? You can still be the momma you want to be love! Please dont give up on yourself.
FINALLY a druggie that tells the thruth !!!!!!
I hope she is ok. Sweet spirit. Sad soul. Sending love & light. ❤✨️
Partying always comes with a price. Always.
It’s not worth it.
Wow. Watching her come out of the walls she built around herself during the interview was the most honest, heartbreaking thing ever.
Very heartbreaking, I hope she is ok
What a heavy heartbreaking journey crack has taken this woman through. Prayers to you sister ❤🙏❤️
Damn.. I wish I could remove all the pain from her life. She had it so rough from the start. Addiction really is just people coping from trauma. The most vulnerable of us are it's best victims. Healing, therapy, mental health - need to be the priority for anyone who hopes to beat it.