It Gets Better || Father Knows Something Podcast || Dad Advice
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- Welcome back to Father Knows Something! Real People. Real Stories. Real Dad advice with a dash of ADHD, and maybe a couple of millennials chiming in from time to time to add their takes.
This week's episode has Jerry and Justin responding to stories where our writer is really going through something difficult. Life can get tough, rough, and really knock us down but, it does get better and we hope the community we have here can demonstrate that. Going to need a team effort on these ones! Thanks in advance for commenting your thoughts for these writers.
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Index:
00:00 -- Start
For story 4, here's a sign I got from a close friend. I'd known my friend Ben since I was 14 and he passed away 8 years ago when I was 23. On the first night we met, he sang me the song Stand By Me by Ben E King and over the years I would always ask him to sing it. Anyway, he passed in a freak accident that killed him - he was a garbage collector and got crushed in the compactor. Months after his death, I was going to see a band we both loved and would listen to together. On the way to the concert, I even thought to myself how much he would have loved it. During the concert there was a break between songs and randomly the singer started singing Stand By Me acapella. I looked around and began crying. It was like he was there and that was how he was telling me he was. This band is an alternative rock band so not the normal type of song they'd play. It was an insanely touching moment and I just knew it was him
This made me tear up. Such a beautiful story. I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. What band did you see?
@@valerielinares6974 the band that I saw was The Used
That is beautiful.
Story 2: my parents have been empty nesters for a few months now, prior to my sister (the baby) moving out they joined a local hiking group and they love it! Sometimes mum goes, sometimes dad goes and sometimes they go together but they’ve made so many good friends and it’s a fun and healthy activity too! If there’s something OPs parents enjoy together that might be a great start or the mother could join a local group for walking, crafting, cooking or exercise classes so many options!
For story number 1. I love the idea of including a note onto all the invitations that in honor of your sister who passed you are going to have a empty vase set out and you would love everyone to bring a flower to fill her vase up in honor of her. Then you can have them set in the line of your bridal party with her picture. You could also take one flower out of your bouquet and add it to the vase when you go up as a special little token before it begins. Then when the ceremony starts it can be placed at the end of the table of the bridal party with her picture and an empty spot reserved just for her. This way all the people who love and miss her can honor her with a special flower that they picked for her and everyone who may not know your sister can also add one that they choose to honor her with. After the wedding is over you can go home and hang to dry all the flowers out and once they are dried you can make a special shadow box to hang on the wall with all the flowers inside it and place it next to a picture of the wedding to always remind you that she was there with you and was celebrated by everyone who attended
This is such a lovely idea 🥺
The timing of this is insane, I said goodbye to my dear friend Prim yesterday, who passed far too young. Our whole friend group is shaken and devastated. She hated mushy stuff and wanted us to laugh together and celebrate her but we are really struggling and then I wake up the next day to your episode titled "it gets better" with stories about signs from loved ones, well I think your episode is Prim getting a sign to me through a podcast that I watch religiously. So thank you guys ❤️
Story 1: maybe it’s cheesy, but what if you write her name or put her picture in a seashell from that beach and add it as a charm onto your bouquet? Or even do two and add one to MOH’s bouquet as well? So sorry for your loss ❤
Story 3: as someone with prior suicide attempts after my oldest sister passed away, it's true when they say "there's nothing anyone could say". Depending on what other issues or mental health struggles besides depression you are facing, in those moments it feels like your insides are being torn out of your body, just incredible emotional pain that literally makes you sick, I don't know how else to describe it. I also felt guilty about my sister passing because I didn't talk to her for the 2yrs prior. it does take time, but as odd as it sounds, you have to forgive yourself because the person that you loved & loved you back would never want you to feel guilty for their actions. They would want you to feel comfort & remember them in all the ways they were good, not bad.
Thank you for your comment. I know he must’ve been in a lot of pain and that depression is a disease. I fight it myself and while I’ve never been suicidal, I understand his head wasn’t in the right mindset and that he truly thought he was doing our family a favor. I do try to think of the good times. the times he’d pretend to pick my ear and said it tasted like strawberries, or make the best fake fart noises when you bent over😂. I intend to keep his memory alive and tell people who didn’t know him how great of a person he was🥹. Im truly sorry for your loss and Im really relieved you survived your attempts and truly sorry you felt that way😔❤️. I appreciate your advice and kind words
Story 1: So sorry for your loss! My grandma passed before my wedding, and my cousins gave me a beautiful charm with her photo that said “grandma, you will be here walking alongside me” and I attached to my bouquet. Additionally, we also had a beach wedding and we did a simple flower toss in the ocean in honor of my grandma.
That's amazing!!
The first story OP I relate! Very sorry for your loss.. I have a lot of grief surrounding my loved ones who won’t be at my wedding this year it’s a sad thought! My mum has bought me bouquet charms which are little charms that hang from the string/fabric that is wrapped round the stems of the flowers! Lots of websites or businesses sell them have a look!
Story 6: Self affirmations!!! Do them every day. Seriously. Please do them. They will be hard, but they do help. Keep doing them, they will get easier. You are worth it.
I will share my story. I used to be severely morbidly obese, I really hate that word. I never thought I would run. I never thought i would be happy and i woild always be depressed, overweight, and reliving my childhood and adult traumas. Group therapy helped me so much as I saw others struggle with the same trauma. Counselling, good support network, cutting out toxic people, self affirmations, and finding an exercis I love. Now i am nearing my goal weight, I am happy, I have a great support network, and I realise how important self talk anf affirmation is to us as individuals. I am a mom and I am instilling thesevalues in my children.
I am so proud of you. Be proud of yourself. You're doing a good job. Do your best, yoi can only do your best. Good luck!
Story 1: have an open chair for her and a bouquet for her being held while someone walked down the aisle and then put that on the empty chair in the front row for her. Then you can have the bouquet saved and hung in a picture frame in your home later ❤️
For story four: when my dad passed away, we didn't have a good recent photo of him to use at his funeral. So, with me being a portrait artist, I painted a picture of him. When making his painting, I was picking between two different photos to use. I ultimately picked one over the other but had a rough sketch done of the other photo that I held on to. Fast forward three years, I was going through an old portfolio and listening to music. I was listening to my playlist on Spotify and was only a few songs in. Flipping through the portfolio, I came across the roughly sketched out picture of my dad while "Daniel" by Elton John (a song I had never heard before, let alone put on my playlist) came on. My dads name was Daniel.
Story 1: what if you have a stand/podium in the bridesmaids Line behind you with your sisters photo or a photo of the two of you and maybe your other sister (MOH) could carry two bouquets down the isle and leave one on the podium/stand so that when you come down youll see both your sisters with bouquets waiting for you ❤
Story 1: hey listener, sending you hugs! I know it’s not quite the same, but my mom lost her dad shortly before she married my stepdad and she had a special charm made with a picture of her dad on it and attached it to a ribbon to the bouquet. She saved the flowers and had them pressed and now them and the charm are saved in a frame she has hanging up. Just an idea for you🩵🫶
This ❤️ my sister passed and I will have a decorated stool covered in flowers, a bouquet and a photo of her set up amongst the bridesmaids.
For story 4: my daughter passed away last year and after her funeral I was sitting outside and a little white butterfly landed on my foot, I have never in my life had a butterfly land on me and haven’t since then. Now every time me or my kids see a butterfly we say there is sister 💙🦋
#4 my mom always said why do loved ones leave pennies,...leave dimes.So when I find a dime in a strange place I know it's my momma, she also sends owls. I live in a area that doesn't have owls but every year a owl or 2 comes to the trees in my courtyard right outside my window. I miss her desperately 😢
Story 4: My grandpa passed away in October 2023. He was my first grandparent/close family member who passed away so the day of the funeral was a blur as it was a new experience. Right after the lunch following the service I had to drive back to college and decided to listen to some sad country songs on the way. While listening to "When I Get Where I'm Going" by Brad Paisley I got to the verse about his grandfather right as I passed my grandparents' house and the line of the chorus "when I get where I'm going don't cry for me down here" came right as I turned the next corner and was faced with a beautiful rainbow in an otherwise gloomy day. That is now my symbol of him. I got it as a tattoo in his honor and again on my drive home from the appointment there in the sky was a rainbow. My mom's was a heart shaped leaf on the chair of the boat he loved to drive when the rest of the chair was clear. It may be small to others but can be everything to you! 🌈
Hi Morgan 😂 loved how she stepped in
Please let Jerry know his Harvey reference was appreciated 🐰❤️ (I’m 27 but when I was 15 my HS did Harvey as our fall production and it’s such a good show/movie)
I'm 24 and my high school also put on Harvey, I was not part of it since I believe it was the play put on by the theatre class which I didn't take till senior year but I really loved it 💕
I'm glad u mentioned that because I was digging so much into my memory (which is awful 😅) trying to figure out how I knew Harvey and reading ur comment jogged back my memory of that play ❤
For story 2: my mother in law still had a son in school when I married my husband and whenever he was done and moved out she definitely had empty nest! She realized she had prioritized her kids above all else her entire life and decided to prioritize her own health and wellness! She has dove into herbal medicine and healing her body and has a new found love for soap making, tincture making, you name it!
Yay! Holly is back. Super cute baby puppup ❤❤❤
26:08 good thing y'all did this one without Morgan 😢 I'm sitting here at work crying. Poor sweet girl ❤ it does get easier with time
Story 5: So sorry your MIL is not kind or understanding to your situation. Those things are not okay to say. Sending you hugs! Major love to your hubby for supporting you. Sounds like you have a wonderful man.
Just know, you are not alone. I was born with a duplicate bicornuate uterus. Which took me 20+ years to get diagnosed, and receive a life changing surgery. But that’s a whole other story.
I’ve wanted nothing more than to be a mother, but I’m not sure carrying a child will happen for me. I find comfort in knowing that I was born that way. There was nothing I did or didn’t do to deserve that. It’s just how I was made. I know that God provides, and one day I will be a mom in some way.
I can’t understand the pain of child loss, as I have never been pregnant. Sending you much love and condolences for your loss and suffering.
Just know you’re not alone. I have also had the fear of not providing a child for my husband. We openly talk about it now, and we’ve worked through some really hard feelings. At the end of the day, he loves me and wants to support me in this journey of life. Your husband sounds like a great man and will comfort you and support you through this journey.
Peace and love to you both! ❤️
For story 3,
I’m so sorry for your loss. That is unbelievably hard and I hope you can find some peace in healing and time. I also lost my father to suicide. I was about 14y/o and I was one of the last people he texted, saying goodbye. I blamed myself for so long for not understanding his text and not doing more. I can’t stress this enough, there isn’t anything you could’ve done. You really did everything you could. You trusted a person you were supposed to trust. Don’t dwell in the what ifs or I could’ve done this. You could’ve done more and he still could’ve went through with his action. Try to connect with others in your community who have gone through similar things. Work on talking your feelings out. It helps just to get them out sometimes and then you can think about something else. But please don’t ever blame yourself, there ain’t anything more you could’ve done if he choose to go through with it. It will get better over time but it will also hurt for a long time. Some days it will even hurt like it’s fresh but you just have to know he loved you and he doesn’t want you to blame yourself. Write him a letter with everything you feel. Read it aloud or burn it. I wrote to my dad for years and still occasionally do it. I also would yell at him and tell him how it made me feel. Express your feelings but don’t blame yourself. You can’t control the actions or emotions of others. I hope this helps as someone who was in your shoes ten years ago, my heart goes out to you and your family.
Thank you for your comment on my story. I’m sorry about your loss as well 😞❤️. I’ve been planning on writing a letter to him but i have so much to say there’s not enough paper in the world. I will try to start writing tho i appreciate your kindness ❤️
To OP who lost your dad… I lost my brother to suicide and it is one of the most excruciating pains a person can experience. You must understand that a person who is that depressed, who is in that much pain emotionally, is not mentally in a rational brain or they wouldn’t take their life.
The mental illness clouds all judgement and makes them feel as if they don’t have any other way out, their pain and suffering is so intense the rational thinking and part of their brain that’s is “them” isn’t able to steer. That is the truly devastating thing about depression.
Know that the grief comes and goes in waves, try not to let it make you too numb and allow yourself to feel sad and go through the emotions without letting it take over you too much. There is no time limit to grieving, you’ll hear a song in 10 years and it’ll make you cry randomly. But I will say try to do things that bring him to light in fond ways, tell his stories, bring him up, talk about him and all the ways you loved him.
People won’t know how to act or whether to bring it up or what to say. Sometimes knowing you want to talk about him (if you ever do) can be very helpful for a friend to hear. It’s nice to be able to relive memories and laugh and not let his memory die. It feels really good even if it’s hard initially.
I am so so sorry for your loss. Lean on your support system, let others know when you need help. I know I didn’t nearly enough and I regret it
Thank you for your comment on my story. I try to talk about the good times to people and I love talking about him. he was the coolest person i’ve ever known. Thanks again and I’m sorry for your loss as well❤
For Story 4
My papa passed away and I tell myself he’s saying hi in 2 different ways - white moths ( he had a big white beard at some points in my life) and when my lights flicker in my bedroom. I love and miss him so much
Story #1- we had a locket charm that hung from the ribbon around my bouquet with a photo of my dad who passed away so he was walking me down the aisle with my adopted dad. Could be a beautiful way to have your sister right there with you for the whole ceremony!
I came here to say this & I would add a framed photo of her & place it in front of an empty seat at the bridal table. So she can still sit beside you.
story 4- my grandmama paid a visit via a tiktok last year! important to note that she went by a very specific nickname that is not commonly heard day-to-day.
anyways, i was sitting out in my garage smoking it up one day and i remember just being in a down kinda mood. i was scrolling through tiktok and came across a vid of a gal doing an OOTD and in the middle of it she picks up her black cat (my grandmama always had her hair dyed black) and she cheerfully goes "Punky wants to say hi!".
i burst out in tears and ran into my house to show my mom the video and she started crying as well, we just hugged each other tightly for a min while tears are running down our faces. i still have the tiktok saved to this day and thinking about it makes me teary-eyed still.
your loved ones will always find a way to say hi to you and let you know that they are still around, even if the signs are few and far between. hope you're at peace with your loss OP
For story 4, I’ll share my story where I had a visit from my dad in a dream. It was several months after he’d passed, and in my dream I was in a crowded place and there in the crowd was my dad. He was his healthy looking old self (prior to passing from cancer he looked very gaunt). He locked eyes with me and his eyes were glistening with emotion and he looked so incredibly happy and proud. I was stunned and eventually turned to my husband and told him what I’d seen. When I turned back to see him he’d gone and I was so disappointed. Then I turned to find him standing to the right of me and we both just broke down in tears and he held my head against his chest for what felt like a minute or two. Then I woke up. Later that night when I was alone I was chatting away to him, asking him if he did in fact visit me or was it just a dream. That I was looking forward to meeting him again but not too soon etc. Then the chorus of this song came on (Spotify was playing on random) and the words were “one day you’ll meet me and you’ll know it’s not a dream, it won’t be hell or heaven we’ll be somewhere in between”. Then the song goes on to say “one day, when you meet me, I’ll be waiting in the water, waiting in the water. One day, when you need me, we will hold on to each other, hold on to each other”. When my husband got out of the shower I was a blubbering mess trying to explain what had just happened. This dream was about 8 years ago now and I remember the details so clearly. I know it was more than a dream. My dad came to show me that he was happy and at peace and that he’s proud of me and loves me.
Story 5: I went through similar fertility struggles. It was such a hard time. Please don’t rule out adoption. Don’t let the process scare you! We have been blessed with 3 absolutely beautiful children. All through adoption. Once that baby is in your arms. Those sad 43:54 feeling will be gone!
The week my father passed I was packing for my flight back home. I live in Utah and he lived in California. I was in my closet looking for everything I needed and my hair got pulled. My father use to do this thing where he’d pull a piece of my hair to get my attention or just to be funny. It freaked me out because I was home alone and when i turned around no one was there. Maybe it was his way of saying he’s okay and goodbye. I never got to say goodbye as he was in another state and passed from complications with Covid. 🙃
Hi story number 4:
Grief therapist here! Also, I have a close friend who has gone through something similar. First, you could not have changed the outcome of your dad’s mental illness. Whether it happened that day, or was prolonged another week, it would have happened. He knew your love well, and that is evident in his letter. Hold on to that.
They say the smartest people are the most depressed - he has probably tried everything he could to overcome this without his family knowing. Sometimes our brains are too powerful.
As you move through your grief, try to remember that your pain is not your connection to your father. Find ways to maintain the bond you have that do not centre your pain. If you need to talk, please let me know and we can connect. ❤
For story 4, I lost my grandpa and cousin 8 days apart this past summer. I was devastated, my grandpa was my father figure growing up after my dad died and I loved my cousin like a sister. She was like a ray of sunshine, seriously the happiest girl I’ve ever met. I would sob and beg them for a sign. I came home just a few days after my cousins funeral and the lights in my apartment hallway were flickering REALLY weirdly. The light would get super bright for a few seconds, dim down, then flicker rapidly on and off. I took a video & showed my roommate - she said they just changed the lightbulbs two weeks before that! I know it was them saying they’re okay.
A few days after that, I went to my moms house. Her front porch light was flickering in the same way, so I called her out to look. We look up at the sky, and saw a huge rainbow. I’m atheist, but it brings my comfort to think it’s them saying hi.
Story 1: i believe is spiritualism. Your sister will be there with you. She is always there with you every day. Whatever you do to honour her on your wedding day will make it special for you and your family. Just know she will be so happy for you. Congratulations and I hope you bith have a long and fulfilling marriage.
Story 1: sorry for your loss. A few ideas I had were to embroider the dress with their initials in the lining over your heart, a locket necklace with their photo, a seat reserved with their photo on it
On story four, I got a sign from my grandma during your reading of the story. Like the writer in that story I’m also the first grandchild for my grandma who passed away in 2006. her and I were super close to my whole life and my sophomore year of high school I actually went to live with her so that I could finish high school because I wasn’t doing very good at my current school. She was diagnosed with breast cancer, my junior year of high school and passed away 22 days after diagnosis. The day that she passed, I was at school and my dad came to pick me up and she lived on an island so we took a ferry boat back over to the mainland and on our way home we stopped at the gas station and my dad got me a drink. It was a Sobe Lizard Fuel, those drinks used to have little sayings under the cap and when I opened it, it said “I’m with you girl” and when you guys finished reading the story, Jerry said that exact quote. I knew it was a sign from her that she’s always with me and, I miss her every day ❤
To the girl in story #5. I too have an unicornuate uterus. I have felt the exact same way. The only difference is I found out while dating my now husband. I would love for you to reach out to me & we build a community around the women who are in the same boat. Love you tons! Always know there’s others like you out there ❤️
Story 1: I lost one of my best friends and bridesmaid 3 days before our wedding in a car accident. She was a shining light and would have never wanted us to postpone or cancel so we continued on with the day. I felt her there the whole time. Me and my bridesmaids all had a little photo pendant with a picture of her and I on our bouquets and saved her a seat at the reception. This was over 8 years ago and I still miss her dearly, but I'm so happy that she was able to be there in spirit.
6:31 Story 1- I wanted to remember my grandpa and my aunt who couldn’t be at my wedding so I got two little frames and had them attached to my bouquet. They were then able to walk down the aisle with me and it was so meaningful. My husband’s dad died before we met so we had a memorial candle for him that was on the table where we signed the marriage license and we light it every year on the day of his death as well :) hope those may help :)
Story 1: maybe take the mic, thank all the living people that gathered to celebrate your love, thank your husband for the patience and then ask everyone to applaud to remember the people is not there anymore physically but they are in spirit, including your sister. Just a thought
For story 4: here’s a sign I got from my papa. My papa was the father I never had. He was the most, kind, patient and loving person you’d ever meet. He was very old school, modest, worked with his hands etc. His favorite thing to do was fish. Well about a year after he passed I was talking to my family and I said “I wonder what he’s doing right now?”. That same night he comes to me in my dream showing me everything he’s doing. He said that he still fishes, and he still works with his hands on random projects. He even had the same working hands that I’d know him for. I do still have dreams with him in it. Where I’ll see him and say “papa” but my family doesn’t see him in my dream. I find it very comforting him showing he’s still here with me today.
Awwwww!!! This made me happy.
I want to submit but the link says it’s been deleted 😩 help!
Holy moly did I NEED THIS EPISODE TODAY! Next week I will spend with my best friends family leading up to her celebration of life.
Story #4; one of my best friends passed away unexpectedly 2/13/2024. She was a HUGE LOSS not just for me, for so many! I already speak to a therapist regularly. Something she asked me, was there something that reminded my of her. In the moment, I told my therapist dragonflies. We LOVED swimming and just being at peace and having girl chats. That being said, dragonflies always visited us while were swimming and would periodically land on her shoulder. As I was walking outside to speak with my husband about starting to process the loss on my dear friend, a ladybug landed on my shoe. Ladybugs are the symbol for new beginnings.
I have the last letter she wrote to me.. Part of it in her writing... I miss you. Love you. Please take care of yourself.
I guess tying it kind of also to story #1, my plan is to get a tattoo in her hand writing, of the miss you, love you. Intertwined is with a dragonfly and ladybug bug to honor her. To have her walking with me for the rest of my life.
Story 4-- I had a stillbirth in 2015...everywhere I went i found pennies with 2015 on them. ( I was 4 months along btw) I live up north and went to visit in TN. At a lake, I chose what table to sit at, and TELL ME WHY (lol) there was a 2015 penny there at a lake! Then we went hiking and my friend was saying when she sees butterflies they make her think of her mom.....then we saw TWO butterflies and then like 20 seconds later my mom called me and said she heard noise upstairs and on my little memorial space on top of my dresser things had moved!! LOL Crazy
34:4, that's so sweet, my great grandmother passed in 2015. She was one of my favorite people and i love listening to storied about her. She loved cardinals, and my family, everytime we see a cardinal, we say "hi mammaw." When i left Pennsylvania and started living in Virginia, as soon as we drove into my in laws house, a cardinal flew from one tree to the other in front of us. And when we moved into our house, a cardinal flew from the roof of the house. Anyways, i love thinking shes always watching over me
Story 4…Here’s MY story…
In 1976, my Dad’s youngest brother, Dana, was tragically killed in a construction accident. My dad was 21 and Dana was only 17. My family owned a small logging company in Verdi, NV. Part of the property included a particular mountain that my Grandmother always had a peculiar aversion to. She just never liked it and said it was ‘Spooky’.
One afternoon, Dana canceled a horse-riding date with a girl so that he could, instead, help my Grandpa do some work on that mountain. Dana was driving a CAT tractor that he had never operated before. While they were maneuvering up a steep part of the mountain, the tractor began to tip to the side. Dana tried to leap from the machine but it crushed his upper torso-head; killing him instantly. My Grandpa (the only other person at the scene during the accident) was pinned by his legs under the tractor, unable to escape.
(Here comes the freaky/ tragically beautiful/ paranormal part…)
During all of this, my Grandma was working in her garden when she suddenly felt like she wanted to go “visit Dana”. She packed a lunch for my Grandpa and Dana, then she called over Dana’s beloved dog, “Woofer”, and they drove to the site. When she and Woofer got out of her car, she distinctly heard Dana call for the dog in his own unique way. Woofer heard it, as well. Her ears perked up and she looked in the direction of his “voice”. However, a split-second later, the dog began racing in the OPPOSITE direction up the mountain (towards to accident site.) Btw, it should be mentioned that Dana has been dead nearly an hour at that point. My Grandma says that she kind of giggled and thought about how silly the dog was for going the wrong direction and she began looking around her car for Dana; she assumed he was playing a trick on her and hiding. However, when she couldn’t find him, she started up the dreaded mountain that she never liked to retrieve the dog. As she made her way up the road, a worker frantically ran down to her and informed her that there had been a terrible accident and that Dana was dead. She said, “That’s impossible. I just heard him! Even the dog heard him!”
To this day, she (and the rest of us) believe that Dana was trying to distract her and keep her from reaching the site to spare her from seeing the grizzly scene. (Which, thankfully, she never witnessed his body.) I wholeheartedly believe that those who we love and miss dearly are not as far away as we feel that they are. ♥️
I want to thank you Jerry and Justin for your advice on my story #3. I am currently in therapy and it was initially my therapist who hinted he was suicidal the day before. She advised me to pour my heart out and I did. I’m glad I did tho. While I feel a bit guilty I know I did everything I could and I was relieved that he mentioned it in his note. I wanted my words to reach him and while it didn’t penetrate his depression I know it touched his heart. I’m currently seeking grieving therapy and group sessions with people who know my situation so hopefully with time I’ll feel just a little better. Thank you everyone for your kind comments and advice. I sobbed a lot listening and reading comments but I feel seen and heard. I truly love this community. Thank you Jerry, Justin, Morgan..and of course Holly❤
Story 4: my grandpa passed away almost 4 years ago now and he was seriously my best friend. Growing up he had a pet goose that was basically his side kick. Think golden retriever energy. On our way to his funeral in the line of all the people we had a flock of geese follow us from the funeral home to his gravesite.
Then several years later as I was pregnant with my daughter my husband and I decided her name would be the female equivalent to his name. I joked she would be early, but because she was high risk I was in the hospital for check ups weekly. On my grandpas birthday during my weekly check up my daughter wrapped herself in her cord for 5 seconds and then unwrapped herself. Because she unwrapped herself I didn’t have to have an emergency c section and I had her on my grandpas birthday. I knew then my grandpa was right by my side
Harvey is scary
Story 1: I've never been in this situation but I will say don't try to block out thoughts just acknowledge and let them come in and out as I had a very important event but I don't remember the event but I only remember trying to block the thought out meditation will help to learn this skill
I would suggest making the isle a little wider and have foot prints in the sand on the left of you to symbolize her walking down. If she was cremated get a necklace or bracelet you can carry with you. I lost my dad just before my wedding. I also had lost my best friend, aunt, grandma and many others and I had photos of them to show them there. I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my brother while I was pregnant with my only son. I know how hard these things make the things that supposed to be happy. But they are always there - just not in the way we expected. I pray for you ❤
Story 4: I definitely believe people have ways of touching us after their passing. I'd never had spiritual experiences until my dad's sudden passing in 2020. As my dad was passionate about music, his ways seem to mostly be through music.
I was in a shoe store buying a pair of boots to wear to his funeral, when one of the songs we had chosen for his ceremony came on. The song was 'In my life' by The Beatles, which immediately shocked me as it was a women's chain store in a mall that would typically play current pop music. It was so touching and comforting.
A while later my brother was at a restaurant that he had visited with my dad before, when my dads all time favourite song (and song we walked out to at his funeral) 'you'll never walk alone' began to play. Again it was another odd choice of song for a casual and modern restaurant. My brother felt that my dad was sharing a meal with him, just as he had many times before.
I cherish and always look back on these signs.
yasss LOVING today with a fresh upload !! ❤
Story 2: See if there’s a Bunco group in your area. That’s what I did and made 11 new friends.
Morgan is literally the most gorgeous woman I know. Love yall ❤
For story 4:
I definitely think we receive signs from loved ones! My husbands grandma (gram) passed away a year ago (a month after one of her daughters passed) leaving her 92 yr old husband behind. We all agreed we should put up security cameras to keep an eye on him and make sure he was safe. Well we had them set up in different rooms and everything was secure nothing budged for days and all of a sudden, one day there was an orb that shot in front of the camera and it fell down! No bug or anything knocked it over, it was sturdy, yet it just fell one day. We always say gram wants her privacy😂 we laughed about it and moved the camera and she hasn't bothered it since.
Jerry and Justin!
My friends father died before her wedding she had a necklace made with his ashes and had it weaved into her bouquet to have him with her
Story 3: how absolutely devastating. I can't imagine. Please surround yourself with support through this extremely difficult time and know that you did all you could. ❤️
Thank you❤
WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME I WAS GONNA CRY AT EVERY STORY WBIKE IM WORKING AT 9 AM😭😭😭😭
whew man im pmsing and that 3rd story :/ the added part of the letter bro :(
I am so excited that I caught the episode so early after it was Uploaded. You guys are amazing and I have a story/advice that I need to send to you guys because I don't have anybody else to ask and I truly appreciate and love all of your episodes all of your advice and your kind words to everybody is Writes In to your show. Love you all so much
#THT #FKS
Holy doesn`t need to be interested. She`s looking adorable that´s all she needs to do :)
My dad passes away a few years ago and right after we were having a garage sale for some of his furniture and a humming bird came right in front of me and my sister and just hovered! Ever since then we always feel like it’s him! I also have had it happen several times when I’m going through something hard/stressful my dad’s old favorite song will randomly come on the radio ❤️
*STORY 3*
My heart weighs heavy with you. My Dad promised he wasn’t going to hurt himself and that he was okay. Well, the first night alone, he did it. I understand the guilt you feel. But I’m slowly coming to terms with his decision. I lost him in 2022 and it’s been hard imagine the long road ahead without him but the terms I’m coming to are,
-This was something he wanted. Thank god he succeeded the first attempt.
-I’ve gone into meditated states where I vision myself in those last moments, being ready to go, and always I realize, I don’t have it in me to do it. I don’t feel that amount of pain. Therefore, I can’t be mad at him for making this permanent decision because I don’t have that amount of pain. I don’t know what it’s like to be in those final moments.
-Following that statement, I’ve come to terms with it taking him a heavy amount of courage to do what he did
-I only got to have him for 30 years of my life, there’s 21 years of him that I didn’t know. The years before I was born. I’ve heard stories and they break my heart because he had it rough.
-Maybe he’s been feeling this way but I’ve never known and maybe he made his decision when he felt I was best taken care of. I was his only child and his golden child. He was my best friend, my rock, my yoda.
If you would like to vent or talk more, I’d be happy to exchange information with you. There’s also a Reddit page I recommend and will link for you.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You’re now apart of a very special club. A club only those who have experienced that type of loss can understand. We’ve got a lot of love to give and this community has helped me a lot.
Thank you for your comment on my story. I’m sorry for your loss as well❤. I’m trying to come to terms with what he did and while I can’t forgive him I know the pain he must’ve felt and it makes me so sad. At the moment i wish his attempt didn’t work but i understand that he’s not hurting anymore. I would like the link to that subreddit, while i’m in so much pain, my heart is warm knowing people understand my pain. Thank you again for your kind words❤
story 6: as a “former fat person” myself, the shame is consuming a lot of the time. it is SO easy to validate the self doubt when there’s a long history of external forces encouraging it. do your best to tell yourself the things you NEEDED to hear as a child, don’t repeat what you were told. you are strong, capable and determined-that will go so much further when you commit to loving yourself with the same ferocity. that little kid never deserved to feel less than enough, and you don’t deserve it now. sending love and strength on your new journey, you’re gonna be great 💓
My mom took me to go see the play Harvey staring Don Knotts. It was in the 90s. It was so good
Justin, I love the way you think! "Instead of getting upset when something goes wrong, I just think, 'it's not in my story.'"
For story 3,
My deepest condolences. As someone who’s known loss I can say for sure time is right. Reality is the pain will never go away but you learn to live with it. But it gets better but even after you learn to live with it “ you can still feel them, that silence you feel even when you are surrounded by noise, that is them” you feel their absence and in a way I feel comfort in that because that is still their energy around you. Give it time and honor them in a way you think best. I for example tattooed their favorite bible verse and a quote that person told me that stuck with me for life. I have lost a friend to suicide, I’ve loss my grandma from sickness, and my fiancé from a tragic accident. I’m talking about my fiance here and the quote he told me was “ it’s the little things you do that matter most”. He said this to me minutes before he propose, he said it because I fix his pants. So give it time, grief however you need to (there no wrong way or right way to grief) and honor him in a way it feels right
Thank you for your comment. I just got 2 tattoos for him. one of his handwriting that says “love you, dad!” and a second tattoo of a bald eagle on my back shoulder. He had eagle things everywhere and on the day he died a bald eagle flew over our house. i know it was him. i feel him all around me. Sometimes i think he’ll come home one day but i know it won’t happen 😖. I appreciate your kind words on my story and i’m sorry for your losses as well❤
Story 1: someone can walk down with a framed photo of her. It can later be set up at the reception. In a nice area. You can also save her a seat and decorate it with flowers
Hi the forms file has been deleted do you know when it’ll be fixed ?
Morgan looks so pretty in the ads!❤
Well done on keeping it informative.
Story 4: my Grandpa was hands down the most influential person in my life. We would often catch caterpillars and watch them go through metamorphosis together and turn the butterflies free. I became obsessed with butterflies because of it. After he passed, I began having freak things happen with butterflies, things that we’re COMPLETELY out of nature for butterflies to do. Landing on me, landing on my horse when I would get him from the pasture, letting me hold them when I found them. I know it’s my grandpa saying hey ❤
For story number three:
I’ve lived through a couple people in my life dying by suicide and here are the best pieces of advice I can offer.
1) If the love we have for others could keep them alive, there would be a lot less suicide, but that simply isn’t the case. YOU CANNOT MAKE SOMEONE WANT TO LIVE OR DIE. Release that responsibility bc it’s not yours. That is an internal battle that has absolutely nothing to do with you. I spent so many nights asking why my uncle would do that when I loved and needed him so much, but the simple answer is that he loved me and my life more than he loved himself or his life as painful as that is.
2) For me, the worst thing I heard when my uncle died was “it will take time” but it is 75% true. While time will lessen the gut wrenching grief, it will never fully go away. Your grief is like a shadow; some days your shadow will be so small you can forget it’s there just for a minute. Other days your grief shadow will feel all consuming. Experience those feelings as they come and never let anyone tell you to “get over it”.
2.5) Grief is a form of love. A love that feels taken from you sometimes. But on the days where your grief shadow is unbearable, reframe those feelings. You’re not grieving extra hard that day, you just love him extra hard that day. That love for him, and his for, you will always live inside you.
3) don’t be afraid of the anger, it’s apart of the grieving process and you’re allowed to be absolutely furious.
4) I chose to live my life in honor of my uncle. I swore to him I’d live enough life for the both of us and that promise has gotten me through the past 7 years without him. Your father saw the brightest light in you, when you’re ready, embrace his faith in you (if you haven’t already) and let it drive you. Talk to him, tell him everything that’s happening in your life. Use that as a way to include him. I sit in a quiet room and tell my uncle everything to this day bc a lot of what I do is to honor him.
5) This feeling can be so lonely and it can be hard for people who haven’t been through it to relate. I know for me it made me more angry bc I felt so alone in my feelings. But please know there are people like me out there who see you and know what you’re going through. I pulled my car over to write you this message because I needed you to know you are not alone. I don’t know you but I love you and I see you. You can do this angel!!!
Oh and lastly, be gentle with yourself. You have experienced trauma. I deeply recommend some type of trauma counseling, especially to process the moment where the cop came to deliver the news. That memory haunted me for a long long time. Be kind to yourself, give yourself grace, try not to place shame or guilt on any of your feelings. Particularly if you do feel mad at him. It’s all part of the healing process.
Thank you for your comment on my story. I feel so seen by you and i’m also sorry the loss of your uncle. It’s beautiful the way you compared grief to love and it makes it more tolerable so i thank you❤
Wow the first story - much love, OP! A friend of mine made a floral arrangement which was beside her while being married and the officiant asked everyone to take a moment and look at it while she told them about the brides mom and how important she was etc. I saw something recently where dried flower petals of different kinds were set out for guests to put in paper cones each kind representing different people the couple had lost and the guests showered the couple with them when they made their exit…or could be used for the brides petals while walking down. Whatever you do, your photographer will make sure to capture for you. Something of hers could be your something old or burrowed, or blue. Whatever you do will be perfect and will be enough. You are enough 🩷💚
❤❤❤ Harvey!!! The best pooka ever.
22:40 is crazy, I lost my dad the same way a few weeks ago.
Story 1: I just got married 3.29.24. My dad passed away this past November. My mom gifted me a charm that tied around my bouquet that had my dads picture and a quote on it. I believe she got it from Etsy! It was super heartfelt and will be a keepsake I can go and look back on forever 💛 Sending OP lots of love!
Story 4: My grandma and I were extremely close. Sadly she passed away January 2023, I had my son in May 2023. In labor, I realized she would never meet my son. I was crushed and wanted to give up. Suddenly, I looked at the window, and there was a small female sparrow sitting in the corner. My grandma loved sparrows and in that moment I felt her love and support. I miss her everyday, but I know she's here with me.
For story 4: my uncle passed in 2016, and for a little background on him: he NEVER wore cologne or body spray so he smelled entirely unique. It's a smell that I smelled for the last time christmas of 2015. At least until January of 2018 when me and my now husband moved into our first home. I was alone the first day waiting for the internet person to come while he went to get another load of things. Suddenly, I smelled him clear as day. It still makes me cry
For story 4: My mother and I were struggling to find a venue for my 2025 wedding that is both affordable and beautiful.. one day I get a phone call from my mom about this wonderful venue that was recently built. Turns out It was built in a park my grandmother took me to a lot when I was a kid. I cannot express how much my grandmother means to me and it truly felt like she made sure it was built when we needed it, and the price? Under 1k... She really said "here's my wedding gift".
For story 1: I lost my dad in 2020. For my wedding I had a little charm with my dad’s picture attached to my bouquet and at our reception we had a table setting for him with his picture, and his jacket along with a memory table. So sorry you’re dealing with this. She’s with you always.❤❤
Hi Jerry, I just wanted to share my story of my loved ones from the other side. When I was pregnant with my daughter I ended up needing a C-section. I was very afraid and the doctors and nurses would not talk to me... At one point I felt the nurse touching me (likely prepping me for surgery) and I started to panic and asked for my mom, the nurse snapped at me and I started to cry as she started tying my arms down to the table... Thank goodness my anesthesiologist came in and was concerned about my mental state... He talked to me about what was happening, why they were tying me down, and I again asked when my mom would be in and he assured me the surgery would not start until after my mom got there... He finished prepping me for surgery and I continued to panic when all of a sudden I felt a warmth starting at the top of my head, down through my face, down my neck, and down my arms... The warmth was replaced with a sure calmness... An effect that only one person had on me, my papa... Suddenly I felt okay... He was there with me... Even though I was in a room full of strangers, I knew my papa was standing at my head with his hand on my forehead... As soon as my mom entered I excitedly informed her that Papa was here and that he had intervened on my panic. My daughter ended up going to NICU, so I spent the nights in my hospital room alone... One night I was asleep and woke up in an anxious panic that the doctor was calling me to tell me my daughter had not made it through the night (I was clearly suffering from postpartum anxiety)... When I realized that it was all in my head I noticed a tall dark figure standing in the corner of the room... I immediately knew it was my granddaddy.... It was the stature and weight... I could see his full blonde hair... And I felt like he was once again bringing me a bowl of tortilla soup and some sprite to get me feeling better when I was sick. I have other stories of things like this happening... As a non religious person it is weird knowing what Ive seen, heard, and felt... I cannot explain it... It was them. They were watching over us. I joked with my mom the next day that Papa and Granddaddy were taking shifts watching over me and the baby... I have a great fear of death as I doubt my experiences sometimes... I wonder if I just suffer with an active imagination... But when I think back to those moments... The warmth and the complete lack of fear.... I cannot deny how real it was... How I felt them there... Like I hadn't felt since they died.... Writing this makes me miss them so much.
The 2nd write in (empty nester): I’m 29 F and I do live with my mom as I have many chronic illnesses that are life threatening and limiting. While yes she’s my mother we treat each other as equal adults. We don’t ask for permission to do things but as a curtesy we let each other know if we are going out or doing something out of respect for the others time.
My mom listens and gives advice but it’s never pushed on me just suggest and it’s left at that. My twin sister married young she 19 he 24 (it’s age gap but it works well) they are 10yrs married this year and they have an 8yr old daughter. My mom still gives sis advice when asked or needs guidance with her daughter. But it’s never expected to do that thing.
I believe we both have a healthy adult child and mother relationships because we (mom sis me) lived with our grandma (she was our second parents no father) and we watched them have a healthy adult child relationship while my mom asked for advice she never forced it on my mom to do it when coming to our upbringing. My grandma would voice her thoughts but didn’t make the big decisions. She still made decisions for us but nothing big
Story 4: My Grandad passed away in 2017, he was more like a dad to me and we got on so well. Years later I watched a Netflix documentary about what might happen after we die (can’t remember the name) but it mentioned someone that asked their loved one to send them a specific type of bird after they die so they know they’re still here. Anyway, i decided to ask out loud in my bedroom for my Grandad to send me ladybirds if he could. Another couple years went by and I was in a really bad way mentally, it took a while but when I started getting better, one random day, I was at my Granny’s house (we have tea there still every week) and when we were getting ready for dessert a ladybird dropped from the ceiling onto the ice cream tub which was right in front of me, my family said ‘how strange it’s not ladybird season yet’. Since then, I am sent ladybirds often, especially at important times. The first holiday I went on after being very mentally unwell, (a big step for me) the doormat to our airbnb had a big ladybird printed on it. They are still here with us somewhere I swear.
Story 1: I am so sorry for your loss. My younger brother passed away at 17 a year and a half before my wedding. I did a few things to honor him on the day 1) I had a framed photo of him that we held for our family photo so he was included 2) I had a bouquet charm with his picture in it tied to my bouquet 3) we had a small table for him with his photo, an angel statue, and a plaque that said “We know you would be here today if Heaven wasn’t so far away”, and 4) instead of favors I made a donation in his honor to Make A Wish. We had cards printed on our guests place settings that said a little blurb about the donation. It really helped me to feel that even though he wasn’t physically with us that his spirit was and he wasn’t forgotten. I hope that you are able to find a meaningful and special way to honor your sister. I hope you have a beautiful wedding day ❤️
For story 1: My parents and my cousin did exactly what Justin mentioned. My maternal grandparents passed 11 years ago. My parents renewed their vows in 2022 and my mom had their photos as charms hanging from the flower bouquet. My cousin, had a table at the entrance of the reception, with photos of our grandparents as well as her paternal grand father who has also passed. It was a nice rustic frame holding the photos on a string with clothespins, and read “we miss you, wish you were here!”
I think I know of Harvey like I know he's an inviaible rabbit but does the Protaginist only see him when he's drunk?
Infertility story: A medical condition is never anyone's fault. I'd have a hard time forgiving monster in law for that degree of cruelty. If they ever do have kids biological or adopted, I'd be hesitant to let them around her.
For story 4, I was pregnant with my first in 2020. I had a virtual baby shower where my grandma sang a song to me and eventually told me she was proud of everything I had accomplished and how much she loved me. My grandpa, her husband, had passed about 15 years before this day. Well that same night, my grandpa visited me in my dreams. There were no words, but he hugged me tightly and smiled warmly at me and through that I could feel how happy and proud he was of me too. Its been the only time Ive ever dreamt of him.
For story 4; when I was a senior in high school, my mom passed away. It was the single worst day of my life. Shortly after I started working at this local grocery store and started my adult life. About 6-7 months later I was collecting carts in the parking lot when this woman approached me. Earlier that day I noticed her looking at me a lot in the store but didn’t think anything of it. When she approached me outside she said she felt a pull as if someone was telling her to talk to me. She asked if I’d lost anyone recently so I told her “yes, my mom” and she lit up and said it was her. The woman talked to me about her beliefs in the spirit world after and said my mom asked her to give me a hug because she knew I was having a hard time. I broke down crying in the break room after. This year will be 6 years and it feels like no time has passed at all
I have experienced many losses, including my mother. On my wedding day, I took some time alone and just talked to her. Told her how I wished she was there, what I think we would be doing, all that. No one ever truly dies as long as their memory stays alive within the hearts of their loved ones. Just bring her with you in your heart.. it doesn't need to be anything big, just have her in your heart on this special day
Wow the sister story made me ball . My sister is everything to me. I mean that literally shes my best friend , sister , counselor, mom...everything. i didnt have good parents my sister took care of my bought my school clothes fed me...its a different type of love that sisters have . I know op is going through it. Her sister will be there regardless but i hope she finds an amazing way to represent her on her big day. This story really broke my heart for her.
Story 4: I saw signs after my nephew left🦋 My nephew passed 3 days before he turned 3 months due to SIDS. It was the most difficult time for my family & I because we have such a big family where it almost felt we were invincible when it came to things like this. It was the first time I truly experienced grieve. My aunt (babies grandma) mentioned that seeing butterflies were a sign that a loved one was near or wanted to say hello. I kind of took it with a grain of salt but kept it in the back of my mind. Day of his funeral (2 weeks after his passing) I got out the car and came face to face with a beautiful yellow butterfly. I smiled but thought it was him saying “look at me! Look at me!”. Soon, his parents arrived and we saw about 30 butterflies outside the funeral home. Even the funeral director mentioned it to my grandfather that he’s never seen that many butterflies anywhere. It’s a common belief but for my family & I, it means so much more.
For story 4, i dont really have stuff that happens physically but they definitely visit me in my dreams, i never remember what actually happens in them, only that they were there and it didn't feel like a normal dream. Sadly now that i have to take sleeping meds for my insomnia they have stopped, but im hoping they start again when im off of them
For story 4 I was getting ready to go see my mom 4 months after my dad died I heard turn around I thought that was weird as I approached a church where I could turn I heard in my dad voice yell I said turn around. So I race back to house thinking something was wrong here nope there was a pile up on interstate I would be right in the middle of. Nope they never leave my mom is gone now to I find tricks all the time.
Love this podcast and morgans, please keep going! so comforting. Love to everyone from a viewer whos been lucky to be here from the start of THT
For story 1, if you have ashes you could carry them with you in a necklace. But I love the symbolic ideas already suggested.
For story 1, I think a portrait or like a picture of her on the front row and a chair would be nice. She could be there with you and you could see her face smiling at you guys but she would be there in spirit
Story 1: if the writer has a dress or shirt or something of the sisters that is of significance, you can sew a piece of it into your dress, or give it to the florist to wrap your bouquet in, and both of these would also offer as something borrowed which would be special to be from your late sister.
story 1: i had a photo of my dad first row, first chair. everyone in the bridal party dropped a blue flower at his chair coming down. i was able to look over & see his photo.