Mak's Best Prank Yet | Chosen Family Podcast
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- Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
- Mak pulls off a masterful prank and Alayna shares sad news about her spoon carving journey. The fam also discuss the impact smartphones have had on mental health and tools for sensory issues. This week’s listener question involves the pros and cons of coming out in the workplace.
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I love Ashley reacting to Mak describing her noise sensitivity with just “interesting”, instead of the usual “you have autism!” but that I felt like I could hear it still echoing from her brain 😂
(Not trying to diagnose anyone, just as someone with ADHD and a lot of autistic/neurodivergent loved ones, a lot of Mak’s experiences that she’s shared are relatable to the experience of many neurodivergent people)
my thoughts exactly hahah, I'm autistic myself and I relate to Mak's description so much
Noo, ashley's reaction broke my heart
i know we all know this already, but just by the way alayna was helping mak understand her sensory sensitivity and walking her through her emotions about it just proves that she going to be an amazing therapist
💯
Ashley was about to cry 😂
I felt so bad for Ashley when mak did the prank 😭
I would absolutely LOVE a spoon carving episode
It would be Alayna really excited and enthusiastic to show them, Mak trying her hardest but getting anxious during the learning curve, and ashley making innuedo jokes every time alayna gave instructions and then going on an unrelated tangent while carving no spoon 😂
As someone with BPD, I really appreciate what Alayna said about it. It is not pretty and it's extremely hard to manage the symptoms and not let them hurt other people, especially in relationships. People love the part where their partner is obsessed with them and wants to be with them all the time, and maybe they're the fun kind of crazy sometimes too, but then the other parts where they get jealous or feel rejected and overreact is not so fun and then they're just crazy crazy. No one with these kinds of disorders wants to be the way they are and it takes so much work to learn how to manage the symptoms and have the healthy relationships.
Me, a girly listening to this on her headphones on a walk, going off
I was painting whilst watching, can i also go off??
Now, everytime Mak is quiet during an episode, I'm just going to assume she's planning her next prank.
Alayna brought up so many good points to actually build on what Ashley was getting at, really glad she stuck with bringing it back to something beyond *The Phones*.
I think Ashley's onto something. I'm autistic and have sensory and social/communication issues and I feel much much more disabled in a corporate work environment where I'm forced to conform, vs being self employed doing OF and providing myself with all the accommodations I need.
Also when Ashley talked about phone disease - I've noticed my social skills have really declined and my anxiety has gone up, so I've been thinking of joining some classes/groups to combat phone disease
Yeah, the internet has no nuance so it's hard to get across, but there's no contradiction between "autistic people exist and have difficulties with managing social life" and "also another separate thing seems to be making everyone worse at managing social life relative to their baseline, because it's reconstituted what social life is and it's worse now". I think both are obviously true!
I really appreciate the “phone bad” discussion, especially what Alayna brought up about people finding diagnoses on the internet. I brought up to a therapist that I thought I had Autism and began walking her through what brought me to this thought process. I began by telling her I was originally introduced to it on TikTok and she immediately shut me down. Despite the fact that I had done much more research beyond TikTok, she wouldn’t hear me out for the simple fact that the thing that sparked my thought process was social media
Re: phone addiction talk, other than the support needed to manage the addiction, my conversation with my therapist about it brings up a good point - removing the phone or limiting screen time introduces a vacuum, an excess of time on our hands that needs to be filled with other equally fulfilling things, which can be hard for many people. And like Alayna said, most of us are already at the point of over-reliance on our devices, so it would take some time and preparation and support to overcome the issue. Just hoping you remain kind to yourself if you're trying to improve yourself :)
Ashley I know the "IS IT PEAS?" bit so well. I watched the Here and Now special so many times too. When you quoted it, I could hear it just as she said - I could hear her inflections, and see her facial expression. Then she launches straight into the range of emotions news broadcasters have to go through. Then the exchange with the weatherman: "I'll stop the rain when you stop the car jackings Colleen". Still to this day when I hear someone talk about their bangs, I hear her ducked behind an imaginary dumpster saying "What about the bangs, are they shorter? Are the bangs shorter? The BANGS?!" And maybe my favourite bit of the whole special is her bit about sounding more like a robot than the actual robot when inserting your name into the voice message recording. Gets me every time.
The prank made my heart drop to my feet so I guess I do really still have a lot of appreciation for Ellen
Queer in IT reporting in: a lot of us are safe in this space, bigger companies are especially good about it. The issue comes up with legacy companies, that added IT after decades of operations and are constantly looking to minimize the cost of IT. Those ones should not be trusted, unless there are out folk in upper management.
Loops and overstimulation:
As someone with ADHD and with loads of ADHD friends (birds of feather flock together!) we all use loops!
Neurodivergent people, ESPECIALLY adhd and autism (loops are very highly used in these two groups) have SUPERSENSES. This is a real thing; our senses are so much more sensitive than a typical person’s. We pick up on more sounds, from further distances; it’s like having super hearing. (Upon other senses like smell, touch, sight etc) - It means that some of us who cannot filter out all these sounds, get so overwhelmed by everything that we can hear all at the same time. Imagine being in the middle of big speakers surrounding you, but each speaker plays a different genre of music and you cannot focus on just one speaker, they all blend into a horrific melody that makes your ears hurt. It makes you feel itchy from the inside and makes you want to scream. It really does trigger fight or flight in you. We just cannot filter out that level of noise that most typicals can.
(Misophonia had been put on the neurodivergent umbrella, by the way!)
There is a few really cool RUclipsrs / shorts creators for ADHD and how we experience the world, overstimulation etc. Cherry ADHD is one, then there is this cool guy with a beard who’s name I forget but he does shorts like “How ADHD affects a person” “why ADHD people do this” etc - And some, explain to Typiclas how and ADHD person experiences things in ways a Typical may understand!
Loops are a saviour to some of us. I work in a really loud werehouse. I was only diagnosed last year (I’m 26) and for most of my life I didn’t understand why my ears were so sensitive. I couldn’t be in crowds for longer than an hour because I got agitated from being too overstimulated. In my work place it was HELL working without my loops and guess what! It triggered my anxiety severely too, which caused breakdowns! (Generalised anxiety disorder and ADHD here) - So it was offsetting so badly. But loops? Loops made my life so much easier. It takes those sounds that I can’t handle and processes them in a way that’s stops me getting set off. And they get hidden in my ears really well! So no one gives me weird looks because they think it’s earphones.
I remember reading something about ADHD in a book once, that they believe they can trace it to caveman times, as a “we were the protectors” basically/ the ones at night keeping a watch out and listening to surroundings etc, developing senses a little better than our other counterparts. Quite frankly I’m not sure if it’s true or just a funny speculation, but it would make sense. ADHD can be genetic and passed down your family (not just socially) - it can also be trauma caused etc etc. but if we take the genetic route, it makes sense those genetics were passed down to us. The ones by campfires keeping watch. Listening. Protecting those who we love - and it makes sense why it causes fight or flight in us even more intensely than others.
Phones are definitely a blessing and a curse. My health has been declining for 5 years and doctors ignored me. I found out about EDS and POTS online and a year later i was able to get a diagnosis. And it does provide community. But i do also find myself using the phone to escape my problems, and i sometimes cant stop myself. If the world was more accessable to neurodivergent, chronically ill and disabled people, i would definitely go out into the world more to find community.
The chaotic ending was wonderful 😂😂😂 "I'm seeing poontang"
On the point on online and phone use being an addiction, you’re definitely correct. Especially about us being so far integrated with it at this point.
Ashley brought but one comparison of going to see a movie out rather than watching Netflix, but multiple movie tickets + the gas and time to drive there can cost more than a Netflix prescription. More people are immune compromised since Covid (me), which makes it smart to limit time in big crowds.
Additionally, most jobs utilize the internet at this point, pretty much all schooling does as well, making it nearly impossible to completely step away like one might be able to with other addictions like alcohol, tobacco, or caffeine.
I bring up that aspect because while online use is in part a mental health epidemic, it is also the more sustainable option much of the time for people with mid to low income, making it an economic issue as well.
With that being said, everyone can benefit from having a picnic every once in a while, talking to friends in person, and limiting their screen time more than they do know.
I LOVE when you get on serious subject as mush as I love the funny day. I work in addiction area and I can say the probleme is not the phone, the probleme is the app that we load in it ( tiktok-insta- game-etc) That is the part were we developpe addiction, cuting the contact with our surrounding to ''fall'' in alternative community were we are rarely confronted, so it's always ''rewarding.. for our ego but creat insecurity as well. If your phone is a PHONE you'll be fine ;-)
The roadmap from computer science and IT to cosplay/drag or being queer is so f**king real😂
33:54 Ashley I absolutely agree with you, there IS something wrong. People aren't okay anymore. You're right, I hear you. Bringing attention to this is probably going to be very helpful for everyone listening. You guys are the best, I love listening to your convos, they're always so interesting!! 🫶🫶
Mak and sensory issues and Autism are discussed from time to time here in a totally appropriate and interesting way but I just wanted to throw out there that it is very possible to have Sensory Processing Disorder and not be Autistic. While they do go hand in hand often, it is not a guarantee, and it sounds like Mak might be experiencing symptoms of Sensory Processing Disorder and Ashley at times sees the similarities to Autism but they are different and it could be helpful to look into the SPD side.
Let me just say; I work in IT, and the straight people put up pride-flags now! It's beautiful and touching, and I feel so welcome 🏳🌈
The fact that I know for the past 86 weeks I know what I have done on Wednesdays and it blows my mind that we’re that far!
Broke my heart to see Ashley staring to cry. Too far Mak lol
damn the phone conversation is hitting me. it’s a lesser version of activities that are good for us. i think ashley is in a perfect position to talk about this with her backgrounds in computer science, comedy, as a public figure, with her experience etc. i agree, the “damn phone is the problem” is a position that has been seen as out of touch and used by groups of people that are dismissive towards mental health, etc so i appreciate your perspective
PSA chosen family is getting their bag but betterhelp is hot grabage so dont use it without research :/ better to find a therapist through psychologytoday or open-path collective
I’ve had severe generalized anxiety, and sensitivities from a very young age. I had some traumatic things happen to me esp around ages 4-6 that may have been the root of that anxiety for me. I was born in ‘98, and didn’t have a phone until my sophomore yr of high school but have been severely anxious, and “quirky” my entire life. I’ve definitely noticed both positive, and negative impacts that my phone, and technology has had on me, esp relating to productivity. I think it really depends. I’ve seen people who were once super social, and driven really negatively impacted by technology/social media & vice versa. There’s absolutely an argument there. Personally I think it’s done more good for me, and has made It easier to understand myself, and better understand what to focus on with my mental, and physical health at appointments, bc I’ve suffered from chronic, and mental illness since childhood. I don’t have the most secure, or knowledgeable support system, or many friends. So it’s helped me find community, and some comfort. (Mak’s noise sensitivity issues are painfully relatable).
Ashley is so right about straight people being so insistent that you're straight if you haven't told them you're gay.
I went to my senior homecoming in a suit, I was SO damn butch, and my homophobic aunt who knew ALL my friends were gay, fully, EXCITEDLY, decided I was doing it for feminism. My homophobic aunt.
Anyway had the gayest night of my life after that.
Holy shit!!! Had to pause at 8:52. Pan, Borderline, 3 and a half years off drugs and alcohol and no life does not look pretty right now. I feel so seen and heard. Thanks for the prank, Mak. I needed to hear the conversation that followed!!!!
I love my sad bitch lamp (UV lamp) 😂 I use it because my bedroom and living space is in the basement with no windows and in the winter the struggle is reaaaaal 😂 ❤
With the auditory sensory issues, for me def feels like everything is happening at once. Hard to describe.
Def fight, flight, freeze, fantasy responses - can dissociate also. I can feel agitated, anxious, overwhelmed, or just go quiet and there is literally nothing I can think about while my nervous system tries to regulate itself.
I'm late diagnosed autistic for ref. We do tend to have processing issues (also w/ ADHD) which makes sense to me in a sensory context, it's alot when all at once. Like back in the day when you click on something on your PC 30 times and all of a sudden they all appear and your computer freezes. 👍🏻
If someone asks questions or I need to make a decision in these times it will add to the sensory overload, overstimulation - these are pre meltdown indicators for me so very important for me to get to somewhere quiet or water will start falling from my eyeballs.
I'm glad loops help I've been meaning to get some. 👏🏻
I can so relate to Mak’s noise sensitivity!
I suffer from the same thing and I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. The noise feels like such a massive pressure on my body as if the room was crushing me slowly. And when I put the loops, it feels like I create a lil bubble to protect myself and everything is much more peaceful ✨
I totally get what mak was going for, like the "oh my god Bruce Springsteen dead at 90"
Broooo I relate to Mak to much in regards to sensitives with sound. To me it feels painful, jolting and like my brain is screaming inside my head. Sometimes if there is too much noise and other things that are going on around me, I will just curl up into a ball and cry. It is bad. However, I take sertraline for anxiety and depression and it also helps my sensitivity issues as well (I am also sensitive to touch, smell, if there is a lot going on around me). I know that I will never be able to go to a concert or a big gathering without ear plugs or whatever but it is manageable.
Loving your phone and social media convo! So thoughtful as always 💫 let’s continue to change the language around how can we reduce the harm that phones/social media causes. Harm reduction >>>
About the phone use: it is so problematic and difficult to solve that you can see how underdeveloped countries tend to use more social media because we do know that it’s important to occupy the city, to engage with friends etc but a. Our cities aren’t as save/walkable b. We work so many hours in a day that the easiest way to entertain is by using social media.
We can also check the use in the global north by seeing the frequency in the winter versus in the summer. It’s really a structural problem in a way that we should have better ways, free places and more time to e joy things outside of our phones, but this way of living is more expensive - for us and for the policy makers- so we do need to talk about that and demand this to be treated as the health public problem it is.
(Hope I made myself clear, English is not my native language)
Ellen wasn’t cancelled because she was mean. It was because being kind was such a big part of her brand and she was being an asshole the whole time. I think it was the hypocrisy that turned people off of her.
yupppp
Yeah but prioritising a minority opinion of her and demonising all her performances is not okay.
This is the worse noise (the one Mak described) for me too and it makes me feel in danger in the sense that I could be swollen whole. It's claustrophobic and also the anger plays a lot into it. After it, there's a "hangover" where I feel so damn tired
And the question with avery addiction is. Why do you do it. The substance/ object is not the problem. There are many layers under that. If we would feel fulfilled and enaugh sense of purpose and connection without the constant dopamine hit, where ever we get it from, we wouldn’t do it. The question is what do we have to deal with that we try to numb? What connections are missing so that we need parasocial relationships? And there we have to accept that it’s much bigger, it’s systematic. We all know, so many are oppressed, so are we opressed and don’t even know it in many cases. If you keep treating the symptom. The pain always finds it’s way to express ore makes people sick.
So we need to address the reality we are living in and the feelings it causes us to have and form community so that we can feel safe to feel them. We need to stop treating anger and sadness as the problem and start asking what it teaches us.
"She's got a beard" from Alayna was so good 😂
I'll cry my face off when Ellen passes away. In 97 or 98 I was in 7th grade,12yo 2 yrs b4 i realized i was a lesbian and came out, anyway we were on a class trip to Washington DC and I was literally within a couple feet of her while she led a gay march and got to watch and listen to her give a speech. At the time it was completely captivating even though i didn't exactly understand why. I've always said if aliens popped up on me and said "take me to your leader" I'd take them to Ellen
As somebody who is exploring how being neurodivergent has impacted my life, I would like to thank you guys. Listening to your vlog on these subjects makes me feel less like somebody who is damaged or different/abnormal and failing and more like someone who is part of a diverse part of humanity. It's a life-safer to now try and look at it in a much more positive way. I belong to the Bell curve that encompasses all people. The part that make us different, interesting and possibly complementary.
I’m actually so fascinated by the phone conversation
Mac I feel you, I’ve had several severe concussions over the last decade and describing the “anger/panic/frustration/ijisthavetogetoutofhere” is HARD. Thankful concussions heal, but when you feel that overwhelmed just getting out of bed life SUCKS until they do
Saying problems can be caused by phones can sound a bit dismissive if the issues have persisted for a long time. Autism, for example, you're born with and have to prove you've exhibited traits since you were a child/toddler/baby (depending on if you have that information), so automatically the phone can't cause that. And social anxiety is also typically more complex than phone usage, I think usually an adverse experience will have happened to create anxiety around social situations (e.g. no one showing up to your birthday party, bullying, etc.) or a series of smaller things will have happened. So blaming phones as being the main reason for more complex social issues is a bit too simplistic, and could just be reflecting someone's pre-existing issues. If in-person social interactions are difficult because of something like social anxiety, then phones can actually be helpful as that first step in therapy/recovery as a way of connecting to people, because if you throw someone in at the deep end and they have a bad experience (like a panic attack or something) then that can make the anxiety worse because the bad situation has happened. Then, with something like autism, a big part of that is the communication differences, and there is evidence supporting CBT or exposure therapy having an adverse effect on autistic people because it's not a mental health disorder, your brain just works differently. Obviously don't know Ashley's history with social anxiety, but if you see someone who's a professional comedian and has done theatre(?) in the past, then it might feel like someone who doesn't understand or hasn't experienced your issues or doesn't know your situation is slightly blaming you for having certain conditions. It might come across as "well, if you just didn't go on your phone then you wouldn't have x condition". Personally, I had social anxiety from when I was 4 to 18/19, and only got a phone that could support apps when I was 18 (my middle-aged keyboard teacher made fun of my phone for being kind of sh*t 😅), so hearing the reason being boiled down to phones as a blanket statement just seems inaccurate to me because that wasn't my experience, and I'm in peer support groups with mostly older (40+ year olds) that have struggled with social anxiety since back when it was called social phobia. I'm not sure if the internet and social media are impacting us younger generations more or if it's putting a spotlight on mental health issues or neurodevelopmental conditions which people had much less awareness about before (although it's probably a bit of both)
Apologies for the paragraph
Thank you, I’m fed up of them constantly invalidating neurodivergent people’s experiences on this pod 😐
Ashly!! I swear the sun is gone for months! The uv lights are actually helpfull😂
Just gonna join in with a bit of love for the Here and Now special, it is so so good. It was one of the first comedy specials I ever watched in full and I loved it. I’ve rewatched it on youtube so many times (it came out the year before I was born so I don’t have the cd or anything) and it never fails to be excellent
I love Maks sense of humor 👏 👏
My ex wife has bi polar and it was really rough. She would get really angry if i didn't have the energy to support her or do emotional labor for her.
It's really tough knowing where to set expectations for people with mental illnesses. Like are they being a jerk or are they in the grip of symptoms outside of their control. On top of that I have depression and while not as severe as hers it was really hard setting boundaries. She would get most angry when I said I was too depressed to do something.
It's tricky, but generally mental health can be given as an explanation but not an excuse. Sure, in the moment people can be angry or overwhelmed if they can't do something and then you also can't help, especially if you were able to on other days or in other situations. But, I think it's then courteous of them to at least apologise when they've calmed down and try to recognise triggers so you can be prepared and tackle them together. It's unfair if one partner is expected to do all of the heavy lifting at the cost of their own mental health. You can understand that your ex was going through something while also acknowledging that you're not obligated to force yourself to be in an unhealthy dynamic. It would be great if you're willing to put in the effort to work with her, but ultimately it's her condition and you weren't responsible for it if she wasn't helping to make sure you were okay as well, when she could
"Is it peas" news broadcast
or my favorite: "How your family could be ended while you sleep. Tune in next week"
news was stupid
Mak got ME with that Ellen prank for .10 seconds til I remembered yall record these WEEKS before release and I hadn't heard anything bout Ellen dying. My eyes went wide though for a split second! I almost went to TMZ. lol
yay happy wednesday everyone 🌱
My own personal solution to the issue of the social media landscape is, because it's so easy to let other people's response to you dictate how you feel about yourself, to instead ramp up my own focus on self-actualization. Instead of saying "this person feels negatively about something I do or something someone else does that I also do, so I should change it," I zero in on my own feelings first, determine whether that person's approval is even valid or grounded in a similar moral/philosophical canvas as my own, and if it is then I can continue exploring whether it's worth it to change that behavior, and if not then just move on and keep being true to myself. Part of that is also recognizing when it's time to accept those judgements and change something about myself, even though that might result in no longer being the same person my friends or family or even my old self (if the change is drastic enough) once knew, and engaging with the work of now having to develop those relationships further to accommodate the changes or even being forced to end them in order to continue my own journey. It's difficult and scary but it's what has really worked for me to reduce the amount of misery and depression I experienced as a result of the bombardment of negativity that often comes out of social media, especially once you think you've found a comfortable spot for yourself within it.
It’s fascinating to hear you guys talk about the potentials harms from social media given what you all do for work. I definitely think social media and mental health issues are symptoms of larger issues today but also part of a feedback loop. And I like what Alayna said about deciding what we would replace phones/social media with if limiting that stuff is part of the solution. I think phone/social media use can be a crutch/coping mechanism/distraction from problems that would still exist, and finding a healthier outlet or fixing the root cause is hard but necessary. Great episode as always guys!
I love that they get the Patreon URL wrong every time lol. It makes the family experience really authentic.
Also, Alayna's tank top is really cute and I kinda want it
That ending! Bonus episodes!! 😂😂😂
Mak…my heart dropped.
so regarding the phone use. I don't think it's THE problem, I think it's a symptom of the problem
When my parents would make the 8 hr drive home (like 3 times a year) there were multiple years in high school where all I did was listen to Ellen's 2004 special (also Wanda Sykes' of the same time) on repeat for the entire trip. That peas joke brought me back 😂
Dang, that got me for a second too… 😅
Hell yeah 5am chosen family
“I’m gonna have to do another spoon” sounded so mom like. Lol idk how to explain it
Really enjoy the deeper conversations on the pod.
The number of people I know my age who are addicted to their phones surprises me, 60yo btw, I know many who use their phones utilitarian wise. It is the social media hooked on TikTok folks that make me curious by a generation who grew up without internet so you think they'd be more armored against it. Second Ashley's concern about the children, it was the tech high ups were no allowing their children to have screens when young. They are aware of the dangers and then the pandemic came and forced online schooling and now we have to rethink past covid the children's access. I have no children so I am curious how parents tackle this modern dilemma.
I wear ankle socks every day when it's above 20°C lol
yup
Omg I didn’t expect the sock thing but I’m with Ashley! Holy shit mak best prank ever!
Fuck Mak even got me a little before I realized I for sure would have known about it before this podcast 😂
I thought the same. I had a full crises in mili seconds, how could I not know about this, i'm too much on social media to not know
I find the phone bad discourse interesting every time it comes up somewhere because I don’t know if it’s connected to my autism or growing up in a very conservative area and being trans but my lived experience is that my mental health tends to be better the more time I spend on my phone. When my screen time drops is usually my first warning sign that I might be heading into a depressive episode
The best analogy to describe Loops or noise canceling devices is similar to watching reels where someone who is color blind sees color for the first time. It’s life changing.
Ashley: Why wasn't your spoon harder?
Me: have you ever tried to carve wood? You don't really want to carve on hardwood. it cracks and is well... hard. That said a dog can gnaw through BONE so wood doesn't stand a chance.
Also I was looking at my "It's ok to be anxious" pin this morning before listening to this... and I'm not shocked Julio gnawed on a spoon.
I got Loops a couple years ago and completely agree with everything Mak said about them. It is such an amazing experience to have some peace in loud places. I would highly recommend them to anyone with sound sensitivity.
the noise thing mak was talking about is something i really relate to. in Highschool i couldnt sit in classrooms for very long as it just triggered me so much. it feels like a ball of fire inside you and you freak out. anxiety plays a big part too but its just so frustrating to have.
Omg i teared up at the prank
In laughter
@@RDawn lmao good one
I have the same issue with sensory input as Mak it’s disorienting, physically hurts, and is so frustrating/angering. It just doesn’t make sense to stay in. One time I was so disoriented at the airport in a delay/layover I cried the 4 hour flight to my destination under my face mask/eye mask combo. And even the fact I was melting down was frustrating… it’s difficult to describe. If you have ever gotten a bad all over body itch you can’t scratch/felt gender dysphoria/body dysmorphia or the like it’s the “crawl out of my skin” not want to die but definitely don’t want to be here, right now, in this body type feeling (when it gets bad, for me).
Also loops are a lifesaver. ☺️
I have asd and I get overwhelmed by noise among other things very often even though I live in a very small town. Some people get offended or think I'm lying if I talk about my sensory needs. I hope talking about this stuff gets more normalised because anyone can struggle with this stuff.
Ohh poor Ashley, she was about to break jajajaajaa
Mak was diabolicaly good with that joke.
I completely agree with Ashley.
Im a disabled lesbian 20 year old.
I grew up in severe poverty and didnt have phone or internet access til I was 16 and even then I have never used social media besides pinterest and youtube for limited things like non-commentary gaming walkthroughs. The most ive ever used my devices was in 2020. I always noticed that a lot of people my age had A LOT of mental health issues that didnt seem to have direct causes or roots such as trauma and childhood upbringing. The fact that these were the people who had internet access from ages below 13 definitely seems to be the problem.
I have issues too. Diagnosed ptsd, depression and anxiety. But ive wondered if the difference here is that I never had any distractions from the real world and my own thoughts.
came over here to say phone disease is absolutely real!! i took up biking and/or reading a book on the train instead of scrolling on my commute and Wow does it help my mood!!
Look at Mom working the Diagnostics...
Finally someone said it, honestly Ashly has the guts to speak her mind and say things most people want to say but are too scared to be politically incorrect because people have become extra “woke” and attack people brutally because its unacceptable to be remotely harsh even if they are speaking the truth. Ellen did SO much for EVERYONE. even if she was “mean” she was still the one who spread kindness on a very broad level and historically people forget all the good someone does. its not acceptable for her to treat people they way they said she did but again that’s something that could be fixed. its not like she was a war criminal, sex offender, thief or ki*led someone and got away with it or resumed position as a political or a huge celebrity. genuinely i feel people deserve all these fake manipulative celebrities and role models that we have right now cause thats what they are asking.
im commenting this with an anonymous account and im still a bit anxious about possible backlashes so i respect Ashly for putting everything she has in line and still speak her mind and not mind admitting if she was wrong.
20:08 therapist Alayna is really showing with this line of questions 😂
It’s 4:11 where I am rn 😂
I think the "phone disease" agravates the problem but it's not the problem per se
My friend with misophonia will put on music on low trough his earphones, or put them on with noise cancellation mode, and has explained to us why he does it. It doesn't bother anybody and seems to work really well for him.
For me as an individual with BPD who gets really easily triggered, I used to constantly get triggered by social media, even using it as a self harm mechanism to trigger myself on purpose as a young teenager. Now I'm always aware that certain algorithms have the tendency to send me back into a very triggered place so I have to remind myself to avoid certain topics on social media to protect myself. This is very frustrating as on the contrary social media has been providing me with very informed content on mental health, LGBTQIA+ and sex ed, that has helped me figure out who I am and what can help me, as well as finding a sense of community and belonging. I think it's important that we realise that social media has immense power to help and destroy at the same time, and even though that might be a systematic problem I think we also have to acknowledge that it's up to us as individuals to take responsibility and navigate our way through how to safely allow social media to impact our lives...
I am autistic and have both noise sensitivity and misophonia around breathing noises, specifically sighing (which my family has always done a lot). The experience of noise sensitivity feels fundamentally different from misophonia for me. Misophonia makes me feel pure fiery rage for seemingly no reason. It feels like it hurts my brain and my gut more than it hurts my ears. When I hear a triggering sound, it takes me a long time to calm down and get the feelings out of my system. Back in high school when I was just learning this about myself, I trained myself to stop and smell a favorite smell to make the feelings go away (I now understand all the ways that this was a great coping mechanism to turn to!)
Noise sensitivity on the other hand feels completely different. Loud noises aren't just annoying, they are actually physically painful. But more than just the sounds, a lot of my noise sensitivity manifests as anxiety that a loud noise will happen when I am not prepared. Whenever I walk by a fire alarm I feel anxious that it might go off. Balloons might pop, car might honk, etc. For me the anxiety is more debilitating than the sounds themselves. I have also invested in loop earplugs and they have helped a lot to just take the edge off of everyday noises, but beyond that, to reduce my anxiety.
We're also still living in a pandemic and anyone working or living with people eith high risk of complications from multiple covid infections (or are themselves that person!!) are unable to hang with people in person often/at all which really stinks. I often feel my community is very offline -- or trying to reduce actively and I'm often unable to engage because they've recently done something higher-risk, im nit comfortable with the risk of that event, or I'm the only person who masks in public so that sucks. Not saying phones are not a problem but there's definitely other things afoot rn that are adding to an extremely depressing environment to live in presently
Amazing episode!!! Mak described my autistic experience out in the wild to a T, #loopmorelikewoopwoop. Alayna was so cute at the end. Ashley you are so lovely. Thanks guys.
Ellen has made an impact on all gens. I watched her show as a kid and on one ep she interviewed a nonbinary actor. This was the first time I'd heard about it and I remember being amazed and curious. I didn't think to question it because they were so sure in themselves. Instead I questioned my world view. It's powerful when someone can incite that change in you.
Also, when they'd introduce Ellen Degeneres at the start of each show I thought they where saying "Ellen the generous" because she was so generous 😅
Ellen's Here and Now is such a great special. "Nancy!" "There's a pebble" "I cannot find my eye"😂😂😂
I love lesbians
fuck
Same dude
and lesbians love you
I nearly cried when Mak said that another great episode 👏👏👏❤❤❤
What Mak is describing sounds a lot like what I experience with Auditory Processing Disorder (APD). It's a visceral reaction. For me, I struggle when there are lots of sounds coming from different sources in one place. My brain stops processing the background sounds as background, so imagine it's kind of like someone remixes your hearing. So ambient background noise that you don't normally realize you're hearing is just as loud as the regular loud sounds (like someone talking). It's incredibly distracting and distressing, and I do go into fight or flight. I've had full on meltdowns in public...lol. My biggest noise nightmare is being at a drive-thru in the rain, with the traffic noises and car radios and machines beeping inside. I can't even understand what the employee is trying to say.
Mak's "sensory sensitivity" sounds a lot like me pre ADHD diagnosis. The reason crowds and bucnh of people talking and busy roads were overwhelming is because my brain was processing ALL OF IT. I still use loops sometimes but likr also - Concerta 🌟 hahah (also thought I might be autistic but sensory sensitivity and inability to make eye contact was due to distraction/over stim processing)
The lack of work life balance makes it harder to do things outside or in person with friends. The phone is the easiest way to stay social and knowing what is going on in our communities while staying on the couch 😅
i do think that kanye west while might be going through hard times, it doesn't make him antisemitic and I don't think mental illness can be used as an excuse for him being bigoted. while hurt people do hurt people, i think those people still need to be called out since the people being hurt don't deserve to get hurt just because the person hurting them was going through a hard time. (this might not even be what you meant but i see comments like this floating around a lot so it's not targeted as much as it is a general point to be made)
Yeah, there's definitely a blurry line there somewhere about levels of mental illness & degrees of bad behaviour. Lots of hurt people don't hurt people, or at least not directly.
With Kanye, I don't think it's right for the press to focus on him. He's clearly seriously unwell & a potential danger to others. I hear you on the antisemitism. Though I think delusion (not him necessarily, but speaking generally) can make people believe just about anything?
As for Ellen, people are complicated. She did a lot of good & that special was hilarious. And she smiled & laughed with a war criminal & is possibly an abusive boss. Both can be true & I don't think there's a right/wrong way to feel about it
@@mariannetfinchesdefinitely important to look at it with nuance for sure. Like for example, JK Rowling is massively harmful to the trans community, but she's also the first ever billionaire to lose her status as a billionaire because of the amount of charity work she did. Does that mean I'll tolerate Rowling or support any of her new work? Nope, but it's important to be aware that once you're seeing things in
black and white, convenience of outrage is probably winning out over logic.
@@PawsitivelyQuestionable The TERF Queen's charity work (which like all billionaire charity work is basically legal money laundering) doesn't in any way balance out the harm she's done to the trans community so it's meaningless to bring up as "nuance"
@@mariannetfinches yeah I just don't think mental illness excuses from accountability but that doesn't mean we can't have empathy for people struggling.
Ashley I had the same reaction to a sound bath. The higher toned sounds activated me and not relaxed me and I could not sit still
Gahhh im really happy you guys brought up BPD. I just got diagnosed and it’s nice having someone talk about the stigma around it