How to Be More Than Friends: Question Tuesday
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- Опубликовано: 17 окт 2024
- In which John answers real questions from real nerdfighters, discussing his son's fascination with imitation food, his own fascination with Wholock watercolors, the oddness of the phrase "more than friends," the Evening of Awesome, and much else.
Crash Course: / crashcourse
My tumblr: / fishingboatproceeds
Lidewij's RUclips channel: / lidespam
Lotte's RUclips channel: / zaielle
"At first everyone thinks they're not qualified to be a parent, but then you realize all you need to do us trick that baby into thinking you ARE qualified. This is a baby!! In some cases they were literally born yesturday! They're super easy to trick!"
-John Green on parenthood 😂
I read this while he was saying it 😂. One of my favorite quotes now, but u had a few typos
One day his actual children will read this and it’ll be so hilarious
"Would you like to be Monogamous Face-licking Partners?"
I'm using that lol
Papercut337
I'm already married so I missed my opportunity to use this phrase and I'm kind of disappointed.
2:00, John, hi, it's a guy from the future here. You end up with crippling writer's block between then and 2016/17, but then you manage to pull out an beautiful, heartfelt and deeply personal book called Turtles All The Way Down from your consciousness.
+
I got my boyfriend by saying, "Nerdfighter, I romantically like you."
I mean, it would've happened anyway but it made it less awkward.
(Thanks, John.)
You know, that thing about friendship is a true lacuna. We should have a word for friends who become family.
I would go with Aristotle's term "friend of virtue"
My video froze when he said "The quality of this video is about tooooooo-"
I love what you said about our dangerously inadequate way of grouping relationships into "just friends" and "face-lickers." There is nothing "just" about friends and I find it troubling when people pretend that friends are somehow necessarily lesser than romantic partners or face-licking partners. Relationships are complex. Each one is different depending upon the people involved. A relationship isn't less important just because there is no face-licking (and/or romance).
John, we are reading TFIOS and paper towns for my young adult lit class and never have I ever been more excited to attend class. Thank you for making this semester one to look forward to and eventually remember.
I love when John answers questions, it's a perfect mix of intelligence, wisdom, empathy and humour. Especially humour.
I love the bit of this video where you talk about wanting Esther to read The Fault in our Stars. It felt different from the rest of the video to me. Felt genuine. Thank you John, for being an inspiration and for giving us Esther as one too.
"Would you like to be monogamous face licking partners?" This is how I will start my next relationship
That painting behind John. So beautiful! I love it!
My favorite has to be the "When did we decide the step past friendship was mutual facelicking." I found the monogamous face lickers as a gif, but has anyone made the first line as one yet and can you please send it to me.
"Use your words" a very simple, but effective piece of advice from John Green. The most simple advice he's had, but actually very wise.
"Do you want to be monogamous face-licking partners?" is by far the best pickup line I've ever heard, and I abhor pickup lines.
omg, when he said picture quality would improve, i didn't expect that much change. his normal camera doesn't feel like it's bad quality
Is that homoerotic song to the tune of the Sherlock theme song...?
I thINK
Yes, if a John wasn't a bit tone deaf, it would have been
Richard Kovacsics YES IT ISSS!!! 😁😁
I, for one, had an outstanding time at the Evening of Awesome! Thank you both for gathering so many amazing people in one place--both performers and audience members.
Everything makes so much sense now that I know that that's how parents are thinking.
the amount of cuteness of the framed finger painting in the background is too much to handle...
oh my gosh i so want to send this to my friend who are not dating each other but hang out every week and get jelouse when any other person even looks there "friends" way and who when in public act like a broken up couple to try to ignore the fact that they are realy acting like they are together despite the lack of face licking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -_- its sssoooo hopeless......
Am I allowed to ask what happened to them?
The framed pic of the two swings saying "okay? okay"is my lock screen!
SHERLOCK THEME
You always restore my faith in humanity, John, no matter what my mood when you post.
Is it just me or is the watercolor song thing the Sherlock them song?
Sailor Levi its the dr.who/Sherlock homoerotic water color something.. so yeah.
As a parent of twin toddlers. May I just say that the honesty with which you answered the last question had me laughing for 20 mins solid. (I should mention I am still severely sleep deprived, but I don't think I can attribute all of it to that).
ok, let's talk algebra: if F=friendship, R=romance and S=sexual activity. for F+R+S to not be more than F then R+S has to have a value no greater than 0, now it is hard to numerically quantify these things but if that quantity is 0 or less then why are you doing it? to say that romantic attachments aren't "more than friends" means either that the romantic part of romantic attachments are worthless, or that romantic attachments don't include friendship, neither of which seems like a good way of handling romantic relationships. I can understand the annoyance of the saying "just friends" when taken out of context but within a mathematical framework it is simply a relative term distinguishing from a friendship that has additions.
...this is why I love Nerdfighteria
MrBraxius That's more arithmetic. The algebra answer is that maybe S is complex or in some other way not capable of direct addition to (F+R). You can be all 'the modulus of |(F+R)+S| is greater than |(F+R)|' but seriously?
surely arithmetic would require precise numerical values not qualitative representations? certainly it is elementary rather than modern algebra. Also the modulus would be |F+(R+S)|>F. But we are getting off topic the point is friendship relationships and romantic relationships are not separate from each other but rather romance includes friendship within it, with romance added on top, so as to make "more than friends" not a statement implying that R>F but rather that F+R>F.
MrBraxius The point I was trying to make is that even though you can assign a strictly positive value to three separate things, it is entirely possible to combine them in a way which does not require a*b*c > a*b. An example would be adding complex numbers and evaluating their modulus to give their "value". And the values of various virtues such as friendship don't appear to add like real numbers so you can't apply logic that relies upon them. ;)
MrBraxius Directions unclear, I am now a math teacher.
I just finished reading TFiOS and while it was not Harry Potter it was pretty darn amazing. I cried while sitting in the middle of my biology class. Thanks John :) now I have to go read all of your other books!
Oh my god Sherlock.
Uma Snow SAME
Earlier today John and Hank did Question Tuesday live, in front of 500 people including me. TODAY WAS ONE OF THE BEST DAYS EVER.
Did he just say "Lidewij?"
i forgot how much I love the energy of the older videos
misleading titles/10
John, how can you say it was the highlight of your career when you have so much career ahead of you? You're on a rollercoaster that only goes up, friend.
"Pizza. The answer is always pizza." You're a man to my heart, John.
The drastic change in sound quality astounded me. Not that either is bad, both are good, but they are different.
Wow I remember watching this nine whole years ago...
This just shot back to a place I have not visited in a long time...
Thing is, I'm still having this prolonged conversation with John years and years later watching his videos and reading his book. If I would have read The Anthropocene Reviewed my socks would fly off.
The question "Who the eff is Hank?" tends to get answered with things like: "Hank is a mass of incandescent gass." or "Hank is a body of rock in the Kuiper belt. Hank used to be considered the ninth planet of our solar system, but is now considered a dwarf planet formally named 134340 Hank."
"and then I looked over at the living room and Henry's babysitter was like "WHHAAAAAAAA??"
Much like the time it takes to watch these videos, Henry will grow up over a great many days.
Your vlogs are really good! And your impressions are THE BEST! :D Make a part two, I especially like the Jenna impression, Charlie impressions and Phil impression :) Keep it up
Thank you! I've always had a problem with the whole "just friends" and "let's be more than friends" thing. I'm glad someone feels the same way.
THANK YOU HANK.
The phrase "more than friends" pisses me off so much because I feel like being friends with someone is actually so special and amazing, whereas getting with someone can mean practically nothing and yet is considered more than friends.
I never noticed until today. Makes sense, though, since the parody song is about Sherlock fandom.
I always wake up with a song in my head!!!
"In some cases they were literally born yesterday." -Most brilliant quote.
To John, I've just finished reading The Fault in Our Stars and it's the best book I've ever read (I read alot), it is painfully honest and the characters are so real. I cried real tears and laughed out loud when I was reading it. You know you're reading a good book when you feel real emotions despite the fictionality of the characters and plot line. I wish I could write all my favourite things about this book but first of all, it would be impossible to pick and also, I don't want to spoil it. Ta
"Professional career", 'Professional' is the the word I'd use to describe you John, but that's why we all love you.
1:05-1:38 Yes! Thank you. You just took everything I feel and articulated it perfectly, as usual!
"You should say what you mean." That is so simple, and yet ... I always mean what I say, but I guess I don't necessarily say what I mean. It's very difficult to, especially when you're used to people telling you that you and your ideas are stupid and worthless! What a profound little thought. Thank you. I highly appreciate you, John.
To elaborate, I do know you are short on time, and the answer you gave bring up more thought provoking questions, but the person who asked still would, as i see it, left guessing what actions are portrayed as being interested in being in a monogamous face licking relationship. You go over what brings people into a monogamous relationship such as marriage and kids, but using words can only get you an answer that gets your "friend zoned" and leaving the relationship untouchable.
Thanks again,
A.J.
OH MY GOD. OHMYGOD. My friend told me you said that you loved the TFIOS script, and of course, I got all excited, but hearing YOU say it... I understand why she was half-crying. OHMYGOOOOOODDDDD. :DDDDD
John Green: thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. In the beginning of TFiOS, you say that hazel's mom thinks she is depressed because she rereads the same book over and over again, but no. This is the opposite of the matter. Books can save people. I reread your books because they're so hilarious and beautiful and inspiring that they make me less depressed on my bad days. I hope you know you save lives, not in the physically dead sense, but in the way that you make people more alive.
John Green is just so amazingly quotable.
Hank is an organelle based on the production of Atp. Hank works together with cholroplasts to produce the energey needed for plant growth. If you want to learn more there is a very good show on youtube called crash course Biology and it is hosted by Mitochondria.
Thank you. This has been much more helpful than the BS they fed me (along with metal splinters) at the ortho about it "being easy" and "forgetting they're there".
Esther would've loved TFIOS, I am assuming, not speaking on her be-half. I have read her book and very much enjoyed and cried. I personally believe she loves it, just because an amazing person has passed I don't believe it stops them from loving things. Especially by people they care about. Only my opinion though..
The evening of awesome was wonderful, thank you.
Believe me, I've watched every one of Esther's videos a million times, and she would have adored TFIOS. She would have cried and smiled. RIA.
"you are made of awesome" is kind of the Green brothers' way of saying they love each other (without actually saying that they do)
'In some cases, they were literally BORN YESTERDAY, they're very easy to trick!" I loled at that line
What kind of camera do you use? It has really good quality.
John's thoughts are perfect.
Using words is hard. I think being in a long, presumably happy relationship has made you forget that, John
Can you guys imagine being Henry's babysiter and getting to randomly hear John sing about Sherlock? I can't.
John, I think you should make a parenting advice video. Not because I think you're an expert (I'm a seasoned mom of 2, and I can't fathom anyone being an expert on this crazy life path), but because I think you could give some very fun and entertaining advice.
Also, having a toddler IS weird! Wait till he hits preschool age, it's astonishing.
Just finished TFiOS. Literally read almost all of it in one school day. It was one of the better books I've ever read.
and that is the awesomeness that is the vlogbrothers!
Thank you thank you thank you about your comments about how romantic partners are not better or more than friends. Also, the comments that all romantic partnerships will not involve monogamous facelicking are also very appreciated because not everyone wants those things and it's so good to see someone with a large number of people listening to them saying those things. I wish someone had told me those things 5 or 6 years ago.
I didn't even realise that! I had been singing what he'd sung and as soon as I read your comment I hummed just the tune and omg how didn't I notice?!
2:00 Never forget. Fear is the wind that motivate the boat of life my friend. It can propel us to greatness or sink us to the lowest drag.
as much as I enjoyed FIOS, I love Looking For Alaska best. I got so wrapped up in the story, that at one point I think I truly hated you for breaking my heart in the middle of it.But it as a whole,it is amazing,so you are amazing. and I nearly woke up my house hold when I watched this video this morning over the face licking comment.
Once the face-licking bit of the relationship ends you then find out if you were friends all along. My boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago but tonight we were talking normally about setting our friend's twin sisters up with his little brother. We didn't avoid topic of our time together we just kind of accept it as a very pleasant history. It couldn't continue because it was getting too much for him.I accept that and this is how I know we are friends I respect his choices. We are friends.
Evening of awesome was amazing. Always enjoy watching you guys live. DFTBA!
The audio quality of John's office will, someday, drive me insane.
If anyone feels like printing something on the back of the Pizza John shirt, that is definitely the quote to go for.
I feel like that sometimes. I imagine that my life is a book and there are people out there who are reading it-- people who get a glimpse inside my head and understand me and love me despite my many many flaws. I think of myself as the narrator of my story and I sometimes forget that everyone else has their own story too. I have to remind myself daily to imagine other people's inner worlds... and even then I know I couldn't possibly scratch the surface.
You're not alone. :)
I love his sarcasm. "Yes, and thank you for mentioning it."
Thank you, thank you, THANK you for that bit about "more than friends." Could not agree with you more.
You were being completely reasonable and helpful, that's nothing you need to apologise for. Oh and rather than a patronising and elitist comment of "you must be new", I thought I'd let you know that "who the eff is hank" is a running gag from in Vlogbrothers, particularly from the "question ...day" videos, generally followed by a detailed description of a person, object or event that has nothing to do with the actual Hank Green. Keep up the helpful friendly work fellow nerdfighter = )
Could someone respond with a link to the song John was singing? I considered searching "homoerotic watercolor song" but then I wasn't really sure I wanted to see the results.
So I'm listening to all the exciting things John is saying and all I can think about is that the big picture on the left is ever so slightly NOT STRAIGHT.
Understatement is just as legitimate a literary device as humorous exaggeration. The reason we say "more than friends" is that saying what we actually mean comes off as crass. Plus, frankly, we may not know exactly how much more than friends we want to be.
John, your lower left painting is crooked. would you mind if i fixed it please?
I wake up with songs in my head every morning too!!!!!!!
"In some cases they were literally born yesterday." Thats golden.
That song totally made my day
Maybe about a 1/2 year ago John had a video clip of a couple girls who wrote alternate lyrics to what I now think may have been a Doctor Who theme, although thinking back it may very well have been another Sherlock one. Anyways, all I'm saying is that you are very creative and very, very talented with lyrics and this is the second time that I've commented on such( not knowing who had written it ), and had you respond :)
you just answered all of my life's questions, thank you sensei.
just one thing i want to say
about 2 years ago some youtuber told he loved the vlogbrother channel so i looked it up and im like.. wth im not gonna watch some brothers vlog.. pfff
after half a year i stumbled upon vlogbrothers again and i dont remember the video but i watched it and then i watched some more - and subscribed
and im so glad that i did that i love vlogbrothers and nerd fighters :)
that is all have a good day
The guy who wrote the TFIOS script also wrote (500) Days of Summer, which made me impossibly more excited about the movie.
That is so weird because I just watched Hank's Thoughts from Places and I wanted to say we needed more happy dances but then YOU ALREADY HAD!
I really enjoy Question Tuesday. Thank you very much!
John, I got my tickets for The Fault in Our Stars tour and book signing. I can't wait. It is going to be amazing to meet you :D
I thought the exact same thing! I'm kind of tempted to make one...
Reading one of John Green's books (Paper Towns) as I watch one of his incredible youtube videos widely enhances both experiences.
Were you wearing a microphone in the last video?
The Fault In Our Stars was amazing.
Ha ha, good point. And that's kind of the point. Literally speaking, any relationship that is either stronger than an average-level friendship or that plus something else is "more than friends". It's just that one in particular we usually refer to in that context.
You & Hank are made of awesome!