r/Facepalm | h- how?

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  • Опубликовано: 22 сен 2019
  • Top posts from r/Facepalm on Reddit. Join the community subreddit at / emkay !
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    Narrator ► / damienleevoice
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Комментарии • 19 тыс.

  • @RustFox
    @RustFox 4 года назад +1330

    "So like... who wrote Anne Frank's diary?"
    A girl in class. At a really good school. Completely serious and we were at least 16 or 17 years old. Our teacher looked like he was gonna cry.

    • @HomelessSoldierMan
      @HomelessSoldierMan 4 года назад +98

      A girl in my sophomore year of high school asked if we lived on or in the Earth.

    • @livingfailure6092
      @livingfailure6092 4 года назад +54

      A girl in 7th grade said that in 18th century beeing fat was beautiful because people didn't know what beauti is yet

    • @HomelessSoldierMan
      @HomelessSoldierMan 4 года назад +74

      @@livingfailure6092 well she's half right, overweight people were seen as better than skinny people because it was a sign of wealth, but that's still stupid of her to say.

    • @aidenember4640
      @aidenember4640 4 года назад +24

      That poor teacher

    • @ehutch1236
      @ehutch1236 4 года назад +12

      Well, is she incorrect? It was turned into a book, correct? So who wrote the book to be published?

  • @thengamer88
    @thengamer88 3 года назад +1593

    My friend was teaching my other friend how to play Minecraft and he said “now you see that big green guy over there? I want you to hug him”

    • @theonlyshinyumbreon
      @theonlyshinyumbreon 3 года назад +93

      Please tell your friend that some random dude on the internet thinks they're awesome.

    • @loganuroskie9402
      @loganuroskie9402 3 года назад +18

      How many osolots does he have

    • @docidioc
      @docidioc 3 года назад +67

      That ain’t even a r/facepalm, that’s a r/madlads

    • @goldinkoma1192
      @goldinkoma1192 3 года назад +6

      Lol

    • @flamingrubys11
      @flamingrubys11 3 года назад +14

      reminds of me when i wss helping my friend with ds1 and told him "see that mushroom over there? go hug it" one mushroom pawnch later "and thats to show you not to fuck with the mushrooms

  • @KainceeYT
    @KainceeYT 3 года назад +538

    "There are more people on Earth than the world combined"
    - My dumb little brother

  • @CaseyEm
    @CaseyEm 3 года назад +379

    Something I once heard that was so astonishingly stupid that I can never forget it Is this guy named Damien said "I can only imagine the satisfying crunch that was made when he closed that book" while looking at an image of a soft shell taco smashed into a book

    • @nitricfox7895
      @nitricfox7895 3 года назад +17

      I wondered if he needed glasses

    • @tuser8
      @tuser8 3 года назад +33

      It would’ve made an agonising squish

    • @mrcat4508
      @mrcat4508 3 года назад +15

      I have no idea why but I can't stop laughing at this at a really late hour

    • @CaseyEm
      @CaseyEm 3 года назад +2

      @Gamer A a picture produced on an electronic display (such as a television or computer).
      It's probably just because I'm high, but it almost sounds like you're saying that the thing I'm speaking of doesn't fit this definition. Unless what you are referring to is that the taco itself isn't an image, in which case I know that.
      Image of a [taco in a book] not [image of a taco] in a book.

    • @CaseyEm
      @CaseyEm 3 года назад +2

      @Gamer A actually, let me make sure of something. You understand that what I said was that it was an image of a [taco in a book] not an [image of a taco] in a book, correct? And that the point was that the taco was soft shell, yet he said there was a crunch?

  • @rondospectacle
    @rondospectacle 4 года назад +432

    A guy in my 8th grade US History once had an epiphany and shouted loudly, “WAIT- ABRAHAM LINCOLN WASN’T BLACK???”

    • @marycruzship5652
      @marycruzship5652 4 года назад +28

      What did he think when people told him Obama was the first black president?

    • @mauricef4089
      @mauricef4089 4 года назад +8

      I mean he was shot

    • @sirzebra
      @sirzebra 4 года назад +5

      @@mauricef4089 good one bud, that's probably what he unconciously tought

    • @abean7837
      @abean7837 4 года назад +7

      One time in a general class the teacher was talking about the KKK and a kid was like "wait isnt the KKK that one group thay started that one donut shop... The one with white hats... Oh yeah Krispy Cream!"

    • @trahnoelnikana5791
      @trahnoelnikana5791 4 года назад +2

      On a RUclips comment, somebody spelt Lincoln, “Lincon” it was stupid.

  • @stephonragland1654
    @stephonragland1654 4 года назад +4087

    "We have flat earth members *all around the globe* "
    Some post online.

  • @InvertedCreeper1611
    @InvertedCreeper1611 3 года назад +77

    Damien once said in an EmKay video: If I find anything about me in there I'm gonna cry.

  • @OrtexofWill
    @OrtexofWill 3 года назад +35

    That Penske Truck is the very Definition of my favorite quote: "If You're going to fail, make them ask you, 'How the Hell did you do that?'"

  • @superike6413
    @superike6413 3 года назад +572

    Damien said “If I see anything about me in there I’m gonna cry”

  • @mattmauch6427
    @mattmauch6427 4 года назад +402

    I was at Walmart a while back and overheard a guy on his phone saying “how could you be having twins, I only busted one nut”. I burst out laughing.

    • @immortalityhahnu-zii1616
      @immortalityhahnu-zii1616 3 года назад +9

      Beautiful just beautiful

    • @koluboyzz8083
      @koluboyzz8083 3 года назад +3

      THAT IS GOLD BRUH😂😂😂

    • @rivercitymomma
      @rivercitymomma 3 года назад +1

      One time I ran into a glass door thinking it was open

    • @jakepullman4914
      @jakepullman4914 3 года назад +1

      @@Supermarine-Spitfire-mk-IX How do you get a controlled environment that contains the Earth? You know what, don't answer, somebody might try it and boom, molten Earth.

    • @DeepfriedChips
      @DeepfriedChips 3 года назад +1

      GOOD ONE

  • @NonSimonary
    @NonSimonary 3 года назад +151

    A Karen told me to go back to my country because it was the one with all the drugs and border jumping. I have a British accent, and my friend said, “uh, are you thinking of Mexico? He has a British accent.” And this lady seriously said “Same thing”

    • @nitricfox7895
      @nitricfox7895 3 года назад +13

      I...
      a
      I give up

    • @user-vl3bs9kw5m
      @user-vl3bs9kw5m 3 года назад +7

      Welp. Throw them into a dog park and say, "karen, b*tch, same thing"

    • @WorldWeave
      @WorldWeave 3 года назад +4

      🤦🏻‍♀️ why am I not surprised

    • @cuboembaralhado8294
      @cuboembaralhado8294 3 года назад +8

      I would say like: thanks for the tip! Let me go pack my bags, and I hope everyone here gets a brain when I get back!

    • @crystalgemgirl731
      @crystalgemgirl731 3 года назад +3

      Condolences for having to experience that.

  • @AdamGinger
    @AdamGinger 3 года назад +123

    "Crocodiles aren't animals, they're reptiles!" - School mate of mine

    • @LimeLight0624
      @LimeLight0624 2 года назад +2

      A friend of mine said something basically the exact same. “Bees aren’t animals, they’re bugs!”

    • @AdamGinger
      @AdamGinger 2 года назад

      @@LimeLight0624 lmao

    • @kateanimates1268
      @kateanimates1268 2 года назад +3

      My sister told me that “frogs aren’t animals, they’re amphibians” she’s 14.

    • @val1409
      @val1409 2 года назад +3

      A school mate of mine said "grass is a vegetable, not a plant."

    • @AdamGinger
      @AdamGinger 2 года назад +2

      @@val1409 son: mom, can we buy some vegetables at home?
      mom: no we have vegetables at home
      vegetables at home:

  • @TheHunkOfHamburg
    @TheHunkOfHamburg 4 года назад +364

    “Sorry, I sitted where you satted.”
    -My friend

  • @hmhm9857
    @hmhm9857 4 года назад +3634

    “An organism is *dead* when it is no longer alive..”
    _”Every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes”_

    • @livedandletdie
      @livedandletdie 4 года назад +70

      "Every part of CO2 will in combination with an equal part Water become Sugar and 6 parts Oxygen gas, during the process of Photosynthesis."

    • @norberto05121964
      @norberto05121964 4 года назад +13

      Every time i see dumb people i leave the room

    • @blep226
      @blep226 4 года назад +90

      *"People die when they are killed"*

    • @Lumanova
      @Lumanova 4 года назад +54

      _"The floor is made out of floor."_

    • @hmhm9857
      @hmhm9857 4 года назад +32

      ᴀsԍᴀʀᴅιᴀɴ נᴇᴅι _”Feathers are made out of small feathers”_ -google

  • @3928damian
    @3928damian 3 года назад +9

    I have actually had multiple people ask me how old a deer is when it becomes a moose... I started to laugh, before I realized the customer was 100% serious in asking...

  • @tibbetabbi880
    @tibbetabbi880 3 года назад +87

    "Why does sweet tea tastes like theres sugar in it?" - my idiot sister.

  • @kyliemarie1069
    @kyliemarie1069 4 года назад +456

    1:51 “What’s the point of having a gender reveal. It could turn out lesbian.” -My friends uncle

  • @sebassebas639
    @sebassebas639 4 года назад +516

    "I like this guy, he's going places, but he's going to have to walk, because I stole his bike"
    -Damien 2019

    • @nunyabisnass1141
      @nunyabisnass1141 4 года назад +10

      Sebas Sebas i would have turned the bike upside down, just give them something to think about for ten minutes.

  • @incognitogirl6201
    @incognitogirl6201 3 года назад +31

    Customer at my work says
    "Why is it that whenever someone says 'Oh hes so cute!' [About a baby] parent say thank you, but when *I* say 'Your genes make very nice children' i get stared at like im crazy?? ITS THE SAME COMPLIMENT JUST IN DIFFERENT WORDS!"
    She was completely serious and i had NO clue how to respond. Lol

    • @NonSimonary
      @NonSimonary 3 года назад +1

      I’m telling this to my coworker who has a child

    • @timthegatekeeper9677
      @timthegatekeeper9677 Год назад +1

      @@NonSimonary how did it go?

    • @NonSimonary
      @NonSimonary Год назад

      @@timthegatekeeper9677 She has the same sense of humor as me so very well actually.

  • @gochogames1360
    @gochogames1360 3 года назад +14

    Last year we were learning about space in science class and this one girl asked 2 very stupid questions.
    1st “how many stars are in the sky?” She wanted a legit answer
    2nd “which is hotter lava or the sun?” May I tell you that this girl is in the talented academic program, she is in the smart class

  • @definitelynotalizard
    @definitelynotalizard 4 года назад +167

    "Please don't take your medication in front of my child."
    I'm sure the trip to the hospital will be a very educational bonding exercise.

    • @torinramsay3529
      @torinramsay3529 4 года назад +2

      Says the person named definitely not a lizard

    • @jerichow0lf788
      @jerichow0lf788 4 года назад +5

      Yeah I have Epilepsy so medication is always compulsory for me

    • @andrewaftontheandroidhedge2780
      @andrewaftontheandroidhedge2780 4 года назад

      @@jerichow0lf788 ya medicine is not needed by me because I become stronger than it my body defies science sometimes

  • @xv2711
    @xv2711 4 года назад +1009

    *"Whats the name of tacobell?"*
    -My Friend. 2017

    • @captainprice1820
      @captainprice1820 4 года назад +3

      100th like

    • @joelwkeller9602
      @joelwkeller9602 4 года назад +2

      You insult me, ELMO?!?!

    • @S_MrWeeb
      @S_MrWeeb 4 года назад +1

      giraffes have no bones(he meant any bones he thought giraffes have no bones at all)

    • @SodaPop707
      @SodaPop707 4 года назад +4

      *" my little sister: what is 1+1?"*
      She's ... 10

    • @lucy.-.298
      @lucy.-.298 4 года назад +3

      Me: i only ate one taco in my life
      My friends: GET OUT
      Me: ;-; okay
      *i still have never eaten 2 tacos*

  • @Henzo1002
    @Henzo1002 3 года назад +24

    "you can buy paper for money"
    -my friend, 2015.

    • @thegamingpenguin324
      @thegamingpenguin324 3 года назад +6

      My friend said " If we can print more money, everyone will be rich!!" And i was disappointed...

    • @Asertix357
      @Asertix357 2 года назад

      Well your friend is very right. What money is printed on isn't available for purchase on the open market.

  • @willowtree646
    @willowtree646 3 года назад +22

    My best friend once said to me "what state is Maine the capital of?" I had to get her mom to check google cause she didn't believe me when I said Maine was a state and this was right after we did a project on all 50 states in school

  • @forestelfwarrior1986
    @forestelfwarrior1986 4 года назад +172

    One time I was trying to say "This pancake looks good because I'm hungry" I skipped a bit and said "This pancake looks hungry"

    • @bf4k
      @bf4k 4 года назад +2

      Lmao

    • @zhowie1898
      @zhowie1898 4 года назад +4

      One time I took a bite of a burger and said “oh my god this is so hungry”

    • @LittleDemon_
      @LittleDemon_ 4 года назад +1

      Well if the pancake's hungry feed it lmao

    • @carlosestevez3144
      @carlosestevez3144 4 года назад

      ForestElf Warrior lol

    • @coleshefford6014
      @coleshefford6014 4 года назад

      Once my friend and I were getting ready for grade 7 and my friend said “where are the grade 7s at” referring to the grade 7 that were here last year

  • @tangiehuck4346
    @tangiehuck4346 4 года назад +339

    A girl once asked me:
    "Are mangas just books for left handet?"

    • @alexhoughton3305
      @alexhoughton3305 4 года назад +11

      She aint wrong tho

    • @TheFinnflash
      @TheFinnflash 4 года назад +10

      Well shes right in a way

    • @midleno8364
      @midleno8364 4 года назад +2

      mangas aren’t right, she is

    • @bee-uq2wp
      @bee-uq2wp 4 года назад

      T Angie Huck well yes, but no,

    • @Dr_Monitor
      @Dr_Monitor 4 года назад

      If she actually said the word "handet" which isn't a word at all, she might be a little soft in the head

  • @georgiakc9
    @georgiakc9 3 года назад +9

    Me: it’s cold outside today
    Girl standing in sunshine: yeah, the wind is blowing the sun away.

  • @didgereemedia194
    @didgereemedia194 3 года назад +15

    "E-Y-E? That's 'ewe'.
    Arin 'Egoraptor' Hanson

  • @yikeycrikes8164
    @yikeycrikes8164 4 года назад +2426

    My brother - "Of course eggs are dairy, they come from pigs!"

    • @dad251
      @dad251 4 года назад +15

      LOL

    • @JoelBogunjoko
      @JoelBogunjoko 4 года назад +98

      That's like the "Gandalf, jedi in Harry Potter" of biology

    • @commandingchiefofthecheese4003
      @commandingchiefofthecheese4003 4 года назад +12

      I am very china

    • @Angel_Kittichik
      @Angel_Kittichik 4 года назад +12

      Lmao, how is your brother so wrong?

    • @yikeycrikes8164
      @yikeycrikes8164 4 года назад +42

      @@Angel_Kittichik honestly, ive no idea, its not like he was a kid, he was 15... i think it was just one of those things where you just say something then pause and go, what the hell did i just say?

  • @reesewestergreen6442
    @reesewestergreen6442 4 года назад +1425

    “Wow these French fries taste like potatoes!”
    -My friend

    • @hhorst84
      @hhorst84 4 года назад +84

      No, theyre made of French people

    • @kiwikall6733
      @kiwikall6733 4 года назад +27

      r\cursedcomments

    • @elenachew7345
      @elenachew7345 4 года назад +12

      Sherlock over here better have gotten a cookie

    • @izukumidoriya2061
      @izukumidoriya2061 4 года назад +5

      "Look at all those snowmans!"
      -my best friend

    • @sarahharrell9136
      @sarahharrell9136 4 года назад +2

      Oh my God what!?

  • @phillyjoe4798
    @phillyjoe4798 3 года назад +32

    Damien killed me when he said “you would look at your child when they are having a seizure and say get up”

    • @NonSimonary
      @NonSimonary 3 года назад +1

      I mean, my dad looks at me when I’m having a panic attack and says calm down.

    • @Asertix357
      @Asertix357 2 года назад

      @@NonSimonary Funny, I do the same thing to myself.

  • @jimbond7121
    @jimbond7121 3 года назад +7

    some girl at my school claims that only gay people wear Nike brand shoes. She said it was scientifically proven. I Retaliated by saying, "Scientifically proven by who? The flat earthers?"

    • @coreylineberry8557
      @coreylineberry8557 Год назад +1

      That's funny, because I'm gay (or bi) and haven't worn a pair of Nikes in years. In fact, I have a pair of New Balance shoes now.

  • @mintykitten3272
    @mintykitten3272 4 года назад +259

    My friend said that Japan is Canada, ever since that day we never let her forget that by saying 'Japanda'

  • @Breezy-wz8ji
    @Breezy-wz8ji 4 года назад +378

    “The Hubble is on earth”
    Let the tears flow damien

    • @khasanbekmalzagov6240
      @khasanbekmalzagov6240 4 года назад +4

      When I hear Hubble, I either think of the Hubble telescope or our Hubble Sphere, I am not sure what you guys are talkin bout tho

    • @Breezy-wz8ji
      @Breezy-wz8ji 4 года назад +1

      Telescope

    • @wonkyfishnut
      @wonkyfishnut 4 года назад

      Duvixio shit you beat me to it

    • @-Gadget-
      @-Gadget- 4 года назад

      @@wonkyfishnut Same 🤣🤣🤣

  • @dragonbugs_2107
    @dragonbugs_2107 3 года назад +12

    Can we just appreciate that Damien has such a dad laugh

  • @exoticafton6208
    @exoticafton6208 3 года назад +7

    The dumbest thing ever said to me was
    "I like to eat hairdryers"

  • @ilyushkasparrow8370
    @ilyushkasparrow8370 4 года назад +492

    My sister: "it's stupid that people believe the 'sun' is a 'star', right?"
    Me: *whispering under my breath* please Don't breed

    • @plathanos777
      @plathanos777 4 года назад +32

      @@PeterPumpkinEater69_69 It's time to stop, it's time to stop, Ok?

    • @PeterPumpkinEater69_69
      @PeterPumpkinEater69_69 4 года назад +8

      @@plathanos777 ok

    • @gupperbottomsbannana6096
      @gupperbottomsbannana6096 4 года назад +11

      THE HEAVY CLASS TF2 GAMER123 no, please continue

    • @glowrua6051
      @glowrua6051 4 года назад +15

      GUPPER BOTTOMS BANNANA oh no please don’t encourage him. Last time this happened the dog couldn’t handle the birth of it’s child

    • @aussieendeavor3679
      @aussieendeavor3679 4 года назад +8

      @Glowrua DEAR GOD

  • @johanedfors3899
    @johanedfors3899 4 года назад +230

    "the Hubble space telescope is on earth" - Damien
    You are welcome Damien, you promised to cry now.

    • @LumaEclipse
      @LumaEclipse 4 года назад +5

      We now need a video of Damien crying while reading these comments

  • @XxXsoapXxX
    @XxXsoapXxX 3 года назад +6

    I didn't talk much in high school because of anxiety. My homeroom teacher told me to my face "You don't talk to anyone because you think you're better than everyone else". Bruh what

    • @XxXsoapXxX
      @XxXsoapXxX 3 года назад +4

      She was so confidently incorrect.
      She was also the kind of person that said "It's ok if you have your own opinions!", but when you express an opinion that doesn't match hers, she yells at you, then she'll write you up.
      I don't miss her one bit.

    • @alphawolf3184
      @alphawolf3184 3 года назад +1

      @@XxXsoapXxX Coming from the quiet kid in class, Screw your teacher.

  • @TheOriginalJphyper
    @TheOriginalJphyper 2 года назад +5

    4:28 I'm a janitor, so you can trust me when I say that such signs are absolutely necessary and I wish more places would put them up.

  • @wafflewitch44
    @wafflewitch44 4 года назад +495

    Had a student in health class ask if shitting in the partners ....would prevent having a baby....the health teacher was laughing at her desk for 10 minutes straight...
    Same student became a dad 4 months later..and I quote
    " It didn't work dude"

    • @matthewallen2273
      @matthewallen2273 4 года назад +28

      Shitting in the partners? Daring I ask....... how did he try to yet in them?

    • @caelanowens2680
      @caelanowens2680 4 года назад +3

      #like69

    • @Eeee-uz4ug
      @Eeee-uz4ug 4 года назад +6

      Jesus Christ...

    • @girlscanbedrummers5449
      @girlscanbedrummers5449 4 года назад +10

      Omg that poor child is doomed in the future...

    • @Eeee-uz4ug
      @Eeee-uz4ug 4 года назад +2

      @blah blah blah Nah, he is also my sleep paralysis demon.

  • @Mia-mo8pd
    @Mia-mo8pd 4 года назад +483

    “If i drown, imma kill myself” - the brother of a girl i made friends with on vacation

  • @peregrine4709
    @peregrine4709 3 года назад +10

    9:49 this isn't a facepalm, they're just holding it upside down

    • @marrassek
      @marrassek 3 года назад +4

      so it is a facepalm

    • @thegamingpenguin324
      @thegamingpenguin324 3 года назад +1

      @@marrassek omg wow

    • @dayzlove4994
      @dayzlove4994 19 дней назад

      So basically it was posted on TikTok, they said it is a facepalm, then it gets posted onto Reddit on r/facepalm because they were holding it the wrong way.

  • @m00n.dvst.
    @m00n.dvst. 3 года назад +6

    1:45 "but I dont wanna feed the hen! I should be eating her right now!"
    -spoiled rich girl from kindergarten who was bragging about how every Friday her parents would take her to a fancy restaurant with steak made of chicken

  • @malloryjarrell7629
    @malloryjarrell7629 4 года назад +551

    “ your tongue has a bone if it didn’t how would it move.” I was literally speechless after she said this and another girl agreed with her then told ME I was dumb.

    • @xxtherealindoraptorxx4848
      @xxtherealindoraptorxx4848 4 года назад +36

      Examples.
      Octopus
      Snails
      Slugs
      Jellyfish
      And people are like:
      JELLYFISH ARE ALIENS THEY HAVE NO BRAIN OR HEART!!
      Me : are you sure about that?

    • @thedarkness3223
      @thedarkness3223 4 года назад +6

      Alexander Steel either you are talking to a ghost or they deleted their comment

    • @menders0583
      @menders0583 4 года назад +4

      Ha. They work at McDonald’s now?

    • @Crabbob365
      @Crabbob365 4 года назад +2

      Yeah well I just cut yours off and find out

    • @v2sauce
      @v2sauce 4 года назад +9

      XxTheRealIndoraptorxX
      You forgot the worms.
      the worms feel neglected.

  • @raccoon8655
    @raccoon8655 4 года назад +329

    For the stupid thing, my friend said: "Why dont dyslexic people learn to not be dyslexic"

    • @akl2k7
      @akl2k7 4 года назад +6

      I'd tell them it would involve rewiring the brain, which would be a bad idea

    • @jackiesharp018
      @jackiesharp018 4 года назад +16

      I got a good laugh. I have dyslexia and yes tutoring can help but it's just a whole family thing on my mom's side of the family... Let me tell you it's hilliarious to get these questions. I always like to say, 'At least I have better grades than you even if I can't tell my left from my right.

    • @donnyt599
      @donnyt599 4 года назад +2

      That's a valid question

    • @silverdirtdraws9828
      @silverdirtdraws9828 4 года назад +2

      @@donnyt599 no its not XD

    • @angelusnielson7135
      @angelusnielson7135 4 года назад +11

      That's right up there with "have you tried being happy?" to someone who is suffering depression.

  • @BrutalJambon
    @BrutalJambon 2 года назад +4

    That dude laughs the hardest at his own little jokes about each thing lmfao this is glorious

  • @BoneBrothMadness
    @BoneBrothMadness 3 года назад +3

    “Man’s shoes melt after standing in 100 degree Celsius weather for 14 hours”

  • @lunamoore9901
    @lunamoore9901 4 года назад +103

    A kid in my school said “I don’t like artificial air, but I could really use a fan right now”

    • @goombahunter0078
      @goombahunter0078 4 года назад +1

      bruh

    • @TheRealSinisterPurple
      @TheRealSinisterPurple 4 года назад +1

      What cracks me up is *ARTIFICIAL AIR*
      Like what wtf how is air artificial

    • @calebunga7271
      @calebunga7271 4 года назад

      Eric DE PAULA first you get air, then you artificial. Done

    • @wes7802
      @wes7802 4 года назад

      *bruh*

    • @HoggyThePig
      @HoggyThePig 4 года назад

      Give him a high fave for being so *smart*

  • @kaleybirge5827
    @kaleybirge5827 4 года назад +655

    anyone else realize the "home" sign is just upside down

  • @valerietaft9831
    @valerietaft9831 3 года назад +6

    6:25
    Worker: "Hey boss?"
    Boss: "Yeah?"
    Worker: "You know jimmy?"
    Boss: "Yeah, the weird guy who thinks he's an astronaut."
    Worker: "Yeah about jimmy he thought he was in a space ship and uhhh."
    Boss: "What?"
    Worker: "Check the news."
    Boss: "Why do you want me to check th- OH GOD"

  • @SimonMoon5
    @SimonMoon5 3 года назад +3

    High school textbook explaining what "chemistry" is:
    "Chemistry is what chemists do."

  • @kiaxiong1434
    @kiaxiong1434 3 года назад +483

    "Dry ice doesn't make sound, it makes noise."

    • @Ka1_TheGuy
      @Ka1_TheGuy 3 года назад +11

      R/technicallythetruth

    • @hahafunny3447
      @hahafunny3447 3 года назад +5

      *W h y d i d n ‘ t i t h i n k o f t h a t*

    • @monetreilly3567
      @monetreilly3567 3 года назад +3

      @@hahafunny3447 r/no no no no no no no

    • @b0mbel235
      @b0mbel235 3 года назад +1

      Holy

    • @rocky7097
      @rocky7097 3 года назад +5

      Hmmmmm yes the floor here is made of floor

  • @nutshell6325
    @nutshell6325 4 года назад +3240

    My ex-friend thought a year was 6 months long

  • @CadynReed
    @CadynReed 3 года назад +3

    My plans were ruined when he said " if I see anything in there about me I'm gonna cry"

  • @dumpsterfire9342
    @dumpsterfire9342 3 года назад +7

    "tell your brother that he shouldn't say jokes before school so you don't laugh" my 2nd grade english teacher

  • @RedstoneCuba
    @RedstoneCuba 4 года назад +727

    "We have over 1 million members around the globe"
    -Flat Earth Society

    • @DoctorPortal_IX
      @DoctorPortal_IX 4 года назад +28

      Yeah. “Read that again ... _slowly.”_

    • @solosmith7688
      @solosmith7688 4 года назад +14

      @Anh Khoi Nguyen around

    • @springdude1165
      @springdude1165 4 года назад +12

      We have over 1 million members *a r o u n d t h e g l o b e.*

    • @phantomfoxy3057
      @phantomfoxy3057 4 года назад +2

      Loads my shotgun

    • @Yoisaki_K.
      @Yoisaki_K. 4 года назад +4

      A...round...the...GLOBE?!??

  • @blazeleisure5932
    @blazeleisure5932 4 года назад +455

    “If a mother dies from child birth can the father press charges on the baby”

    • @depressedtraingirl1056
      @depressedtraingirl1056 4 года назад +20

      Blazer Face shouldn’t the father be arrested, he put the baby on the mother

    • @noahramirez6156
      @noahramirez6156 4 года назад +21

      @@depressedtraingirl1056 shouldn't the mother be arrested for putting the child in danger

    • @luftwaffle4327
      @luftwaffle4327 4 года назад +6

      That sounds like a joke please tell me it was a joke

    • @s7ezy
      @s7ezy 4 года назад +2

      Ocuou7p

    • @br1xh527
      @br1xh527 4 года назад +3

      Neutral American NOOOOO her being serious 😂😂

  • @Lokear
    @Lokear 3 года назад +2

    I'm going to quote myself. When showing my Christmas list to my parents, I somehow forgot that they'd told me the truth about Santa and so I only wrote one thing: "Santa knows what I want"

  • @olivernah9351
    @olivernah9351 4 года назад +358

    best friend asked me once "is einstein the one that created frankenstein?"
    milo, if you see this.
    why

    • @Lizardbyte_
      @Lizardbyte_ 4 года назад +5

      🤦‍♂️ on so many levels

    • @Rendmar
      @Rendmar 4 года назад +8

      The worst is that's not even the monsters name

    • @fahrulrputra2589
      @fahrulrputra2589 4 года назад +5

      Yeah he created the doctor who create the thing

    • @Mitch-he5qc
      @Mitch-he5qc 4 года назад +2

      madi_really_tried you can like it now

    • @cowabanger
      @cowabanger 4 года назад +2

      madi_really_tried now it’s 96

  • @ZeppelinPietrPryor
    @ZeppelinPietrPryor 4 года назад +104

    Girl in my English class- “Wait, if he can’t read, how come he can speak?”

    • @toribiosalcedo8215
      @toribiosalcedo8215 3 года назад +3

      My god im looking brian cell reading this like me missleppeing this and brain

    • @Chris14_
      @Chris14_ 3 года назад

      Me after reading this: looks like we need to use a revive on mr Einstein

    • @toribiosalcedo8215
      @toribiosalcedo8215 3 года назад

      Lul how bad cam you misspleeld thinh and dont mak sensen

    • @emsheree
      @emsheree 3 года назад

      I-good point

    • @RussianDoggo-pr6kc
      @RussianDoggo-pr6kc 3 года назад

      Is there brain working correctly???

  • @TheRyxas
    @TheRyxas 3 года назад +1

    To be honest, I mostly just watching these just to see how Damien fucks up the facepalm by completely misunderstanding it

  • @MrGermandeutsch
    @MrGermandeutsch 3 года назад +3

    "was it a hard taco or a soft taco?"
    This question just gave me a flashback to all the employees who keep repeating that there is no such thing as a hard or soft taco.

    • @Asertix357
      @Asertix357 2 года назад

      Ironically I've never heard of a soft taco until this video.

  • @tomanddandostuff4538
    @tomanddandostuff4538 4 года назад +495

    Some old person asked “does this peanut butter contain peanuts?”

    • @juliantunge8371
      @juliantunge8371 4 года назад +14

      That is a legit question bro

    • @connorbower1205
      @connorbower1205 4 года назад +6

      Julian Tunge your joking right?

    • @juliantunge8371
      @juliantunge8371 4 года назад +11

      Connor bower no you live in america it might just be some synthetic bullshit

    • @connorbower1205
      @connorbower1205 4 года назад +4

      Julian Tunge I do live in America and yes that shit has to be synthetic but you knew that

    • @connorbower1205
      @connorbower1205 4 года назад +4

      Fluffy I would correct you spelling but I can see you not from America

  • @monstermax4462
    @monstermax4462 4 года назад +64

    "Your brain doesn't need oxygen!" Said by a friend of mine that hates being wrong and always claims he's right... even though he's barely ever right.

  • @St4nd4rd08
    @St4nd4rd08 3 года назад +2

    "I want you guys to do this in the comment section, if I see anything about me I'm going to cry"
    *promptly pauses the video and starts scrolling through comments*

  • @stephb246
    @stephb246 4 года назад +124

    She didn't say it to me but it was said in our Religious Studies class.
    "Do Muslims exist?"
    Our teacher is a Muslim which just make the question worse.

  • @ella1714
    @ella1714 4 года назад +228

    mozart?? isnt he the villain from harry potter?
    actual genuine question from a friend

  • @Candyettes
    @Candyettes 3 года назад +4

    Me: *going about my daily life being a legally blind person*
    Random person from my class: Hey so if I touch you. I'll go blind too, right?
    Me:I-
    -_-

  • @RealRedRabbit
    @RealRedRabbit 2 года назад +2

    I wish I loved myself enough to laugh at my own jokes and comments even half as much as Damien does.

  • @Snapmare_
    @Snapmare_ 4 года назад +1329

    I text myself because having yourself as a friend is epic

  • @profesionalsimp9697
    @profesionalsimp9697 4 года назад +1165

    “If someone is pregnant with twins, do they have to stay pregnant for 18 months?”
    Our generation is doomed 🤣🤣

    • @awesomegaymer5786
      @awesomegaymer5786 4 года назад +64

      obviously they stay pregnant for 4 months since they outgrow the uterus twice as fast

    • @hollywoodbean1392
      @hollywoodbean1392 4 года назад +21

      I have questions.

    • @bryonyblack4307
      @bryonyblack4307 4 года назад +5

      r/wooooosh

    • @Schmirptheburp
      @Schmirptheburp 4 года назад +18

      Our generation is definitely doomed thanks to Corona And The Stupidness

    • @icanexplain5974
      @icanexplain5974 4 года назад +19

      I want my daughter to be a girl

  • @ecxdee
    @ecxdee 3 года назад +1

    1:41 well back in third grade my teacher was teaching us about how seasons work worldwide. She said that in June, it is summer, but only in the northern hemisphere. At that same time it is winter in the southern hemisphere. She elaborated, “In america, it is summer in June because america is in the northern hemisphere. On the other hand, *INDIA IS IN THE SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE SO IT IS WINTER WHEN IT IS SUMMER HERE*.” all of the Indian kids just looked at each other like “is she fr?” and i never forgot that moment

  • @hacklordmonster8780
    @hacklordmonster8780 2 года назад +4

    9:44 in hebrew we read from right to left so the guy thought it says 1 in 2. the real facepalm is him. also for putting the shampoo in the refrigerator

  • @hollawuddle1723
    @hollawuddle1723 4 года назад +426

    "Is the moon a star?"
    "No the sun isn't a star it's a planet"
    - the same person in my Earth and Space class

    • @TitaniumTronic
      @TitaniumTronic Год назад +6

      Some guy in my 10th grade class actually fucking believes that we can land on the sun without burning up if we go there at "night time"
      Holy fuck.

  • @chednut
    @chednut 4 года назад +161

    "Hey do you like Bon Jovi?"
    "No, I dont eat Italian food."

    • @genderfluid__loozer9891
      @genderfluid__loozer9891 4 года назад +2

      Ok that's just a straight up disappointment. 😂

    • @enchantingdoge
      @enchantingdoge 4 года назад

      Joke time: Jon Bovi

    • @asapgeode5956
      @asapgeode5956 4 года назад

      As an Italian from NJ, this brings me special pain.

    • @101Volts
      @101Volts 4 года назад

      Reminds me of that line from Groundhog Day. "Do you ever have Deja Vu?" "No but I can check in the kitchen." I probably misquoted it but that's the gist.

  • @danieltaylor4185
    @danieltaylor4185 3 года назад +2

    I think the first video's speed is in kilometers per hour, not miles per hour. Though, that does still mean that he was going about 100 miles per hour unless the speedometer is broken. And you know, 100 mph in what appears to be a residential area is still hair-clenchingly terrifying.

  • @Mozarella_king
    @Mozarella_king 24 дня назад +1

    damien said once in an emkay video that if he found any comments about him, he would cry, even though nobody would comment about him if he didnt say that

  • @troynorwood4122
    @troynorwood4122 4 года назад +261

    It started rain on the way home from school some random kid yelled out “It’s raining raindrops!!!!”

  • @noahschrader7577
    @noahschrader7577 4 года назад +177

    “It’s obviously a taco you can see the lettuce the meat..
    But is a hard or soft taco?”
    *THE TACO IS THERE*

    • @ryosuketakahashi3232
      @ryosuketakahashi3232 4 года назад +8

      Soft unfortunately

    • @mateey0600
      @mateey0600 4 года назад +3

      Bruh you beat me too this comment I was deadass gonna say you can clearly see it's a soft taco😂😂😂

  • @SpicyT257
    @SpicyT257 2 года назад +1

    "How could you date a fossil to be 80 million years old? the world isn't even 2100 years old yet!" - a girl, 19, in my archaeology class at uni (we were discussing carbon dating and someone brought up dinosaurs)

  • @AFlameofVengance
    @AFlameofVengance 3 года назад +1

    Oh no, all my M&M's have a W!
    -The person holding the HOME sign.

  • @johryt4293
    @johryt4293 4 года назад +331

    «Africa is a part of southern Europe»
    «Copenhagen is the capital of Sweden»(we’re Norwegian)
    «The United kingdom is in north america»
    -my stupid classmate
    Btw she is not only bad at geography, she has terrible english grammar too (not that mine is too good either). She spelt environment as «invarenment» and grateful as graeteful (she does not have dyslexia) she said that an ion is a noble gass in science and that horses is the smartest living organism on earth...

    • @gassern121
      @gassern121 4 года назад +7

      Johr YT Norge Squad

    • @noclist4531
      @noclist4531 4 года назад +14

      One of my classmates said America was in Europe, but she had all her grades around 100-90

    • @gManGabe
      @gManGabe 4 года назад +2

      r/storiesAboutKevin

    • @boiboi6081
      @boiboi6081 4 года назад +2

      Well I suppose he is sort of correct, in the fact that Africa is south of Europe xD

    • @noclist4531
      @noclist4531 4 года назад

      @@gManGabe what kinda sub is that bruh

  • @jayflame1
    @jayflame1 4 года назад +311

    "I like this guy, he's goin places, but he's gonna have to walk, because I stole his bike"
    👏

  • @theneworoldgalyoutube1064
    @theneworoldgalyoutube1064 3 года назад +2

    "(Some random curse word that I cannot remember)"
    -my friends in 5th grade

  • @mugiworld
    @mugiworld 3 года назад

    I love watching a few of these videos before deciding what type of video I want to watch next lol, like a timeout from the weird side of youtube (all of it these days!)

  • @WhoRUTalkingAbout
    @WhoRUTalkingAbout 3 года назад +176

    "Why isn't this working?"
    -My sister who didn't put the plug in

    • @pico717
      @pico717 3 года назад

      Thats a thing bill cipher says

    • @thedepression950
      @thedepression950 3 года назад

      Thats just Michels son in gta5 online

    • @lunaz_here
      @lunaz_here 3 года назад

      Plot twist: it was her grandma’s life support

    • @crystalgemgirl731
      @crystalgemgirl731 3 года назад

      Lol, did you tell her, or did you let her figure it out for herself?

    • @ZenTerra-N.O.V.A
      @ZenTerra-N.O.V.A 3 года назад

      @@crystalgemgirl731 *Both*

  • @werm3169
    @werm3169 4 года назад +196

    01:38
    *That time Emkay did the wrong intro for a video*

    • @merryherb
      @merryherb 4 года назад +10

      stop calling him out hes gonna cry :(

    • @ArchonSharks
      @ArchonSharks 4 года назад +12

      merry herb That's Damien, not Emkay, Emkay is actually a team of people, and Damien is the narrator.

    • @dabhanddanzig1215
      @dabhanddanzig1215 4 года назад

      That wasn’t stupid, it was a mad lad move

  • @vallowe1366
    @vallowe1366 2 года назад

    “is that soccer? oh no it’s football”
    that really confused me for a sec lmao

  • @REIN-carnation
    @REIN-carnation 2 года назад +1

    The dumbest thing I’ve ever directly heard of anyone I know saying was from a girl in my brother’s Algebra 1 class a while back.
    “Is it necessary to know what 7*3 is to be in this class?”

  • @stoneforest2639
    @stoneforest2639 4 года назад +253

    Friend: “Salt is artificial”
    Me: “Then why is the sea salty?”
    Friend: *Ponders exsistance*

    • @derpybart4398
      @derpybart4398 4 года назад

      Wait a second i recognize you from like redstoner or something. Iz dis u?

    • @goodiesohhi
      @goodiesohhi 4 года назад

      TFT sucks

  • @Pegasix21
    @Pegasix21 4 года назад +361

    "Why are people always starving? Like, just eat something and you'll be fine"

    • @muhammaddarrenputra6389
      @muhammaddarrenputra6389 4 года назад +6

      Im muslim so im puasa

    • @danielcook1015
      @danielcook1015 4 года назад +5

      Earth is solid with a molten core.
      So... Technically
      Earth=Ravioli

    • @Reactiontime6000
      @Reactiontime6000 4 года назад +3

      Daniel Cook
      Oh god, how I love the taste of everything on earth and all the dirt

    • @Eurofighter-Typhoonman
      @Eurofighter-Typhoonman 4 года назад +5

      If your homeless, just buy a house

    • @farz88
      @farz88 4 года назад +1

      @@muhammaddarrenputra6389 im muslim too

  • @emberproductions8841
    @emberproductions8841 3 года назад +1

    First clip: “I paid for the whole speedometer, I’ll use the whole speedometer.”

  • @cinnamonroll5865
    @cinnamonroll5865 3 года назад

    the way Damien pronounces Tortilla is the closest I heard to perfection lmao

  • @Eeee-uz4ug
    @Eeee-uz4ug 4 года назад +116

    "He hit himself right on the nuts"
    *Emkay a second after that sentence
    "Oh yeah..."

    • @Rem-hp2ef
      @Rem-hp2ef 4 года назад

      Gacha boy Yusoga no sora

  • @antaluster
    @antaluster 4 года назад +179

    "China has a larger population than the entire world." My friend, 30 minutes ago.

    • @asid5067
      @asid5067 4 года назад +10

      I was gonna say it's true then I read the sentence again

    • @antaluster
      @antaluster 4 года назад

      @@katocs fake fan

    • @somalischepiraat5984
      @somalischepiraat5984 4 года назад

      @@antaluster why is he a fake fan

    • @antaluster
      @antaluster 4 года назад

      @@katocs it's r/thathappened
      r/thatdefinitelyhappened doesn't exist

    • @ShitStainedBallSack
      @ShitStainedBallSack 4 года назад

      That's a statement not a question

  • @halimahh5h268
    @halimahh5h268 2 года назад

    1:32
    "hey, what's that taco's flavour?"
    the guy who did this : "knowledge"

  • @umbraloctavia5349
    @umbraloctavia5349 3 года назад +1

    1:30 I think the true facepalm is that Damien didn't realize the taco was still in the book.

  • @alialkubaisi428
    @alialkubaisi428 3 года назад +288

    "What is the capital of japan”
    “Japan”

  • @eldritchteletubby9319
    @eldritchteletubby9319 3 года назад +118

    "Don't feel bad for making decisions that upset other people."
    *Proceeds to murder an entire family*
    I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS

    • @nerosteel5786
      @nerosteel5786 3 года назад +5

      *Presses nuke button*
      People: We are very upset you did that :(
      Me: Well not anymore...
      4. Profit

    • @Gragoroth
      @Gragoroth 2 года назад +1

      r/technicallythetruth