I had never been on a date or had a boyfriend till I was 29 years old and found out later I have autism spectrum disorder. In other words, I have a lot of trouble reading social cues coupled with a lack of awareness of what social cues I'm putting out there. My husband (who was my first boyfriend) says I give out confusing signals, which was shocking to me. This may have caused some guys to back off. Also, I just don't do flirting. The insincere nature of flirting is scary and confusing and I just don't know what's expected of me in that situation. I tend to take everything at face value. Also, problems with initiating relationships is another prominent feature of ASD. So that's something else to consider 😊
It's more shocking to hear of a woman being single that long compared to a guy since women don't have to do the pursuing or asking out or be the ones to initiate like men always have. And plus since autism does affect a person's ability to socialize and connect with others or their social skills or being able to read and understand social cues or body language, overall it definitely affects them socially. It makes sense that autism is going to have a much bigger impact on men's dating lives than women's lives, impact in the sense when it comes to affecting a person's chances of getting into a relationship.
Oh yeah... it really sucks to connect with anyone (romantic or not) as an autistic. And by the way, I'm not sure if you have heard about this book by an autistic Catholic priest named Fr. Matthew Schneider, LC (who found out he was autistic after he got ordained into the priesthood). The title is "God Loves the Autistic Mind".
I'm sorry it took so long to see this, There were a lot of interesting comments that I would have loved to respond to. As for the video itself, my two thoughts as a shy/introverted guy who may have some social anxiety and autism: Dating apps are terrible for most men, decent for women, but heavily biased toward hookup culture rather than long term relationships, so ladies keep that in mind when you go online to find a partner. A lot of guys just don't feel safe doing cold approaches on women because of all the ways it can go sideways with catastrophic consequences. I won't suggest the ladies make the first move and ask the guy out, since I know that can be difficult for either sex, but I would suggest the ladies try to lay a foundation so guys don't have to do a COLD approach. One issue that I don't think Lizzie touched on in this video is WHERE you meet the person at. In the past I refused to date a coworker because it could lead to all sorts of serious problems. Same thing goes for someone you share classes with. I might try meeting someone I met in church, except I am an atheist now (I know, ironic that an Atheist follows a Catholic's channel). I also don't do dating apps (see above), so I am kind of out of luck for places to meet women. My dating woes aside, for anyone looking for a partner, consider the places you are willing to pursue a relationship in, and keep in mind that other people may have different standards than you.
I chose a life of singleness, not out of low self esteem but because of my sensory differences (I'm autistic and hate the sensation of physical touch). I've been in a few relationships and am happier living life in full service to God. I think it is important to remember that some of us were born to be single. It isn't sad or anything less than being married.
Anxiety is a natural hardwired response in your brain to deal with danger. That being said, it's not there to control you. Go out there and talk to people when you want to. I promise that once you break the barrier, you will be fine.
That seems to me all the more a reason to go on a good dating platform in the Internet: a) Through practice, your insecurities will get smaller or vanish. b) The guys will take the initiative c) We men MELT if we meet a shy girl - one who is like a deer (me: a man from Austria)
@@martinripka6898 what if you are a more reserved girl but you work in a mostly Male dominated area and since you have no guy to really rely on you are more independent and can do stuff that guys must find as a turn off. Am I just screwed? Plus I'm skinny or really pretty either.
Lizzie hi! Thank you so much for ur channel and all your content I would love to be able to dm u in some way and ask u more questions about the faith:)
Your next video is, If you've never been on a date or had a girlfriend! Haha! Put all jokes aside, you made good points, Liz. The thing about dating apps, it it just for dates. It was never designed for marriage. The ones who got married are blessed to find their spouses. I do over analyze when it comes to women. I don't know if I'm going to get married, since modern women ruined dating for everyone, because of their narcissism and hypocrisy. There are still good women in this world. I won't give up. :)
Yes, and good women look for good guys. But usually the good people are those who make the best friends, are that person that everyone speaks of as “someone who’s always willing to help” or “Sarah’s sister who’s always volunteering”. However they tend to be drowned out by the loud, self-centered, obnoxious people. My best dating advice would be to pay attention to the women that don’t draw attention to themselves, but are positively spoken of by others. That’s where you’ll find the real sweethearts. 😇
True. I had never had a date that wasn’t a set up until my husband. When we met we were friends for a year. Then I basically said to him I like you then he said you want to go out for chinese on Friday. I’m an introvert.
Lizzie can you do a video on a touchy subject , no pun intended. About women & chasity in respect to objects that can be used for self pleasure which is banned by catholic law ( for men also but majority isssue for females ).
This video provides an alternative perspective to the traditional view of dating, encouraging women to take the initiative and make the first move. I agree with this approach, as it can be empowering and lead to more successful relationships. Thanks, @life-is-here
I've been celibate since the divorce. What is the Catholic church stance on that? I've been asking my Christian friends these questions. People have a lot of different answers. Wasn't there a RUclips short or something where this guy throws away a piece of paper of his thoughts about this girl. Years later they both divorced, then found each other, and their kids wanted to be adopted. I like your thoughts on this subject. I'm 43. So if anybody has any questions from an older adult, I might be able to help.
If you had a catholic marriage you CANNOT BE DIVORCED , divorce in the true proper catholic sense is married but validly separated, which is sanctioned by the church. Otherwise a non catholic marriage the same rules apply. Go see a priest ....to understand your situation...you perhaps can get an annulment if you have valid grounds that your marriage was not proper in the 1st place .
Honestly god says once your married you can’t separate the church made the rule where now you can go and get a divorce but in reality Jesus says once your married your basically fk you can separate for like 1 year or 2 but you can’t have sex or relationship with another man or woman . I mean if you can get a divorce from the Catholic Church then I guess you can start looking to see if you want to get married again
My Baptist girlfriend went to Mass tonight the second time in 6 years this time as my fiancée. Father Gery usually tells a joke after Mass for levity. There was a man named Fred who moved to a community where all his neighbors were Catholic. During Lent when everyone on Friday were eating tuna fish, ol' Fred was grilling steaks and the savory aroma could be smelt all around and the Catholics felt very tempted, so much so they all got together to decide what to do about the predicament. They decided to convert ol' Fred and that they did. They baptized him saying, "A Baptist you are a Baptist you were born now you are a Catholic. The following Lent on First Friday the aroma of steak grilling was coming from Fred's home and his deeply concerned neighbors went to confront him. When they got there they saw ol' Fred grilling and pouring water on his steak saying, "A cow you are a cow you were born; now your a fish.🤣
Don't give up! All it takes is finding one person. Get on dating apps asap & start going to coffee and dinner with some women. Maybe put in your bio that you are Christian & that will attract women who are less into money.
HI MY FRIEND VERY GOOD VIDEOS KEEP IT UP I'M married to a lady for 18 years And yes she is Really up and Down Some Times It's Not good Win she don't like to Take her Meds she is Lev 2 yeah and 4 person Alitys yes She thanks Smoking wed hilps her no 😮😢😮😮
This is so throwback! Love it!
I had never been on a date or had a boyfriend till I was 29 years old and found out later I have autism spectrum disorder. In other words, I have a lot of trouble reading social cues coupled with a lack of awareness of what social cues I'm putting out there. My husband (who was my first boyfriend) says I give out confusing signals, which was shocking to me. This may have caused some guys to back off. Also, I just don't do flirting. The insincere nature of flirting is scary and confusing and I just don't know what's expected of me in that situation. I tend to take everything at face value. Also, problems with initiating relationships is another prominent feature of ASD. So that's something else to consider 😊
It's more shocking to hear of a woman being single that long compared to a guy since women don't have to do the pursuing or asking out or be the ones to initiate like men always have.
And plus since autism does affect a person's ability to socialize and connect with others or their social skills or being able to read and understand social cues or body language, overall it definitely affects them socially.
It makes sense that autism is going to have a much bigger impact on men's dating lives than women's lives, impact in the sense when it comes to affecting a person's chances of getting into a relationship.
Oh yeah... it really sucks to connect with anyone (romantic or not) as an autistic.
And by the way, I'm not sure if you have heard about this book by an autistic Catholic priest named Fr. Matthew Schneider, LC (who found out he was autistic after he got ordained into the priesthood). The title is "God Loves the Autistic Mind".
I'm sorry it took so long to see this, There were a lot of interesting comments that I would have loved to respond to.
As for the video itself, my two thoughts as a shy/introverted guy who may have some social anxiety and autism:
Dating apps are terrible for most men, decent for women, but heavily biased toward hookup culture rather than long term relationships, so ladies keep that in mind when you go online to find a partner.
A lot of guys just don't feel safe doing cold approaches on women because of all the ways it can go sideways with catastrophic consequences. I won't suggest the ladies make the first move and ask the guy out, since I know that can be difficult for either sex, but I would suggest the ladies try to lay a foundation so guys don't have to do a COLD approach.
One issue that I don't think Lizzie touched on in this video is WHERE you meet the person at. In the past I refused to date a coworker because it could lead to all sorts of serious problems. Same thing goes for someone you share classes with. I might try meeting someone I met in church, except I am an atheist now (I know, ironic that an Atheist follows a Catholic's channel). I also don't do dating apps (see above), so I am kind of out of luck for places to meet women. My dating woes aside, for anyone looking for a partner, consider the places you are willing to pursue a relationship in, and keep in mind that other people may have different standards than you.
I chose a life of singleness, not out of low self esteem but because of my sensory differences (I'm autistic and hate the sensation of physical touch). I've been in a few relationships and am happier living life in full service to God.
I think it is important to remember that some of us were born to be single. It isn't sad or anything less than being married.
I don’t really want to date I just want to get married 😂😅 can I skip the dating part lol
SO many people relate to this!! Especially with dating apps. Trust the process, it will be worth it!
Haha😂😂😭
Can you to make a video about introverts with social anxiety?
Anxiety is a natural hardwired response in your brain to deal with danger. That being said, it's not there to control you. Go out there and talk to people when you want to. I promise that once you break the barrier, you will be fine.
Ok but what if you are the girl who has really bad social anxiety when it comes to dating?
That seems to me all the more a reason to go on a good dating platform in the Internet: a) Through practice, your insecurities will get smaller or vanish. b) The guys will take the initiative c) We men MELT if we meet a shy girl - one who is like a deer (me: a man from Austria)
@@martinripka6898 what if you are a more reserved girl but you work in a mostly Male dominated area and since you have no guy to really rely on you are more independent and can do stuff that guys must find as a turn off. Am I just screwed? Plus I'm skinny or really pretty either.
Lizzie hi! Thank you so much for ur channel and all your content I would love to be able to dm u in some way and ask u more questions about the faith:)
Your next video is, If you've never been on a date or had a girlfriend! Haha! Put all jokes aside, you made good points, Liz. The thing about dating apps, it it just for dates. It was never designed for marriage. The ones who got married are blessed to find their spouses. I do over analyze when it comes to women. I don't know if I'm going to get married, since modern women ruined dating for everyone, because of their narcissism and hypocrisy. There are still good women in this world. I won't give up. :)
Yes, and good women look for good guys. But usually the good people are those who make the best friends, are that person that everyone speaks of as “someone who’s always willing to help” or “Sarah’s sister who’s always volunteering”. However they tend to be drowned out by the loud, self-centered, obnoxious people. My best dating advice would be to pay attention to the women that don’t draw attention to themselves, but are positively spoken of by others. That’s where you’ll find the real sweethearts. 😇
True. I had never had a date that wasn’t a set up until my husband. When we met we were friends for a year. Then I basically said to him I like you then he said you want to go out for chinese on Friday. I’m an introvert.
I assume you met him while in your 20s
@@nobodysperfect06 Yes
@@amandaraisor2516 envy you not everyone gets to meet that young
Hello from Cancún
there is a girl who followed your advice, fortunately
what I need now to marry her is a situation
Lizzie can you do a video on a touchy subject , no pun intended.
About women & chasity in respect to objects that can be used for self pleasure which is banned by catholic law ( for men also but majority isssue for females ).
This video provides an alternative perspective to the traditional view of dating, encouraging women to take the initiative and make the first move. I agree with this approach, as it can be empowering and lead to more successful relationships.
Thanks, @life-is-here
I've been celibate since the divorce. What is the Catholic church stance on that? I've been asking my Christian friends these questions. People have a lot of different answers. Wasn't there a RUclips short or something where this guy throws away a piece of paper of his thoughts about this girl. Years later they both divorced, then found each other, and their kids wanted to be adopted. I like your thoughts on this subject. I'm 43. So if anybody has any questions from an older adult, I might be able to help.
If you had a catholic marriage you CANNOT BE DIVORCED , divorce in the true proper catholic sense is married but validly separated, which is sanctioned by the church.
Otherwise a non catholic marriage the same rules apply.
Go see a priest ....to understand your situation...you perhaps can get an annulment if you have valid grounds that your marriage was not proper in the 1st place .
Honestly god says once your married you can’t separate the church made the rule where now you can go and get a divorce but in reality Jesus says once your married your basically fk you can separate for like 1 year or 2 but you can’t have sex or relationship with another man or woman . I mean if you can get a divorce from the Catholic Church then I guess you can start looking to see if you want to get married again
My Baptist girlfriend went to Mass tonight the second time in 6 years this time as my fiancée.
Father Gery usually tells a joke after Mass for levity.
There was a man named Fred who moved to a community where all his neighbors were Catholic. During Lent when everyone on Friday were eating tuna fish, ol' Fred was grilling steaks and the savory aroma could be smelt all around and the Catholics felt very tempted, so much so they all got together to decide what to do about the predicament. They decided to convert ol' Fred and that they did. They baptized him saying, "A Baptist you are a Baptist you were born now you are a Catholic. The following Lent on First Friday the aroma of steak grilling was coming from Fred's home and his deeply concerned neighbors went to confront him. When they got there they saw ol' Fred grilling and pouring water on his steak saying, "A cow you are a cow you were born; now your a fish.🤣
I’m an introvert guy with kinda the same problems…. I’m 28 idk what I’m doing wrong 🤷♂️ most women these days want money so I kinda just gave up
Don't give up! All it takes is finding one person. Get on dating apps asap & start going to coffee and dinner with some women. Maybe put in your bio that you are Christian & that will attract women who are less into money.
I never had a girlfriend...also diagnosed with a mental disorder.
HI MY FRIEND VERY GOOD VIDEOS KEEP IT UP I'M married to a lady for 18 years And yes she is Really up and Down Some Times It's Not good Win she don't like to Take her Meds she is Lev 2 yeah and 4 person Alitys yes She thanks Smoking wed hilps her no 😮😢😮😮