This New Theory on Addiction Will Blow Your Mind 🤯
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- Опубликовано: 21 авг 2024
- Have you heard of this guy, Bruce Alexander, and his Dislocation Theory of addiction? It's actually very interesting. Based mostly on the Rat Park studies, this alternative view on addiction suggests that we take a completely different approach to solving the problem.
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Yes makes sense.
I believed I could shame my husband into sobriety I believed I could threatenedhim and that I could punish him And I believed that I could manipulate him into submission Only after watching your videos I learned to forgive him I separated the addict from my loved one And tried my best to treat him with respect I relapse as many times as he did He is now sober And I'm no longer the mean person That I never wanted to be Thank you thank you Amber
Guilty as charged. Spoiler alert it didn't end well. He's gone and I'm happily single but the whole process was painful and I felt like a terrible person.
you sound just like me!! My husband is in the active drinking now for the 99th time after 2 years sober...I turn into witch and it gets ugly. I am a mindful/peaceful person until my buttons get pushed by this drinking. I feel so frustrated, exhausted, hopeless,etc. I am happy for you and it shows me to have hope.
Can i ask you some questions in privet?
I'm going through this same thing. I think I'm resentful. All I want is for him to be sober. I feel like I have to compete for his love and attention. He says one thing and does another. What do you do then when he can't follow through on his word?
@@bethnacc6493 and he won't, as long as he's using it's so frustrating and you are in an unenviable position.
The opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety - it’s connection.
Amber Hollingsworth is someone very special. Sober, and highly intelligent. She is the best counselor/therapist on RUclips
Oh my gosh, that was so sweet! I'm blushing. 😊😊😊😊
@@PutTheShovelDown I lost my spouse to drug addiction several years ago, it completely destroyed my life. Your channel and videos have been an inspiration to me and have really helped me to understand and cope better. Your a good person Amber, doing good work! 😊👍
They’re right. You are amazing. I’ve been searching for your messages for years and finally found you. Can’t wait to see more videos. ❤
BULLSHIT
My therapist told me once "you need to find something in your life that means more to you than this other thing trying to kill you." . Unfortunately, sometimes for the addict that "new thing" becomes just as much the object of the addiction and the chase at that point, is on, as it were. The addict perhaps will just move from one addiction to another until their true need is met
When I spend quality time with my favorite friends and family and especially doing fun, active things we love like cooking our favorite meals together, doing fun active things outside in beautiful nature places, going on fun mini getaways and vacations, doing artistic, creative things together, unplugging, talking, playing music together, just being together, etc. I've always noticed that my heart feels "full" and at peace and I never feel the need to use social media or do other unhealthy behaviors. And it's because all my psycho social needs are being met.
Loneliness (separation) sparks addiction. Addiction makes you less desirable hence increasing loneliness. It's a dwindling spiral.
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Less desirable to who?? Please explain. 👍
@@jewelg9569 Less desirable to family members, relatives, friends, and from new people getting to know you. No one wants to be around a person who drinks too much, hence increasing loneliness which then accelerates addiction fueling the cycle.
The opposite of addiction is connection👉the addict is simply thriving & dying in his/her connection to their addiction👉Addiction is a gift for those who learn it’s true powers❤
Or u get sick and u don’t know why and ur body starts failing so addiction sets in to help forget about everything and no support…
I definitely see a lot of truth in this model of addiction. Just hit 10 months sober after 5 years of harm reduction. A huge part of my recovery has been being part of groups the past few years as well as deepening my ties to my work place and community through regular volunteer work.
Love it! 💟
Congratulations on your sobriety.
I drank to get drunk for 20 years, been sober from alcohol for 4 yrs now. Two DUI’s, lost marriage, lots of lows, but I always kept a job and supported my kids. When I decided enough was enough I stopped going to the bar and started going to a CrossFit gym nearly 5-6 days a week for a year. You have to take that negative energy that you’d pacify with drugs or alcohol and spin it around to something positive for your health. Physical discipline will equate to mental toughness. I’d been to AA meetings before and to be honest some of them have been going there for years and still tell the same sad stories everyday, until you can get over that past crappy version of yourself and realize you’re human, you’ve learned, you’ve grown then you’ll always negatively label yourself.
Love this!!!!!
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So glad you finally found your way! So sorry you lost so much to gain it.
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Wow that’s awesome ❤
I seen the rat park way back and I truely believe it ! Everything about it is true ! Connection to other humans will always Trump everything ! Gives a reason ,motivation , but yes you have got to get thru detox for health reasons , but support in a positive way is the most effective long term sobriety ! Yes they slip but they remember the support and try again for sobriety! Belonging yes yes yes !
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@@PutTheShovelDown ❤️
I've been watching your videos for 2 days now. My husband recently relapsed after 4 years of being sober and I've been very angry with him and so he disappears for days and I started using your technique just yesterday And he's already apologizing after treating me like a enemy for so long. You really are helping people and making a difference. I now have hope because of you. Thank you!
This information totally aligns with a sermon that was given at our church recently. Our society has become so focused on individualization not socialization or fellowship. I love when your messages aligns with something I'm learning elsewhere.
I completely agree with that message!
So true, people don't value community and cooperation as they should. It's not uncommon to have no idea who your neighbors are. Wrong direction I think
Great discussion yet again ❤
I would also like to add that there is not enough education or support available for families of addicted loved ones, publicly available in order to keep things consistent for when they come out.
It’s incredibly hard when the addicted person goes into treatment, while the family who has been treated so badly are just trying to emotionally just put themselves back together.
It kind of feels like they’re getting all of the help, but there’s nothing for the family/spouse etc. It’s just really hard. Thank goodness for people like you with articles like this
It is the case in Iceland. We had a opioid problem since 2017, and it's really bad in 2023, and our politicans aren't doing anything, but they are gonna have to very soon.
It is the case in Iceland. We had a opioid problem since 2017, and it's really bad in 2023, and our politicans aren't doing anything, but they are gonna have to very soon.
It is the case in Iceland. We had a opioid problem since 2017, and it's really bad in 2023, and our politicans aren't doing anything, but they are gonna have to very soon.
It is the case in Iceland. We had a opioid problem since 2017, and it's really bad in 2023, and our politicans aren't doing anything, but they are gonna have to very soon.
It is the case in Iceland. We had a opioid problem since 2017, and it's really bad in 2023, and our politicans aren't doing anything, but they are gonna have to very soon.
Day7 Sober 🙏❤️ great video 💯🙏
That's wonderful! You've got some momentum now 🥳🙌🏻
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Yay Steven !
I like the term he used 'poverty of spirit' - it's a vicious cycle; feeling lonely then becoming so dysfunctional you become even more isolated:(
Powerful video, so true.
Whenever I feel a relapse coming on, it's actually because I want to be "back home with my people"
That's exactly the words used by our daughter.
Of ALL the channels I watch, this one has been the most forward thinking, practical and helpful for me and my family! I'm so thankful!!!
Wow, thank you, Kara! 😃😃😃
👍 I 100% agree with the poverty of spirit thing. I think vulnerability to addiction definitely comes at the very least from the lack of connection, belonging, meaning, purpose, etc.
AND then take some of those, much less all those things, and add ADDITIONAL challenges like ocd, anxiety, depression, adhd, trauma/ptsd, etc, - challenges that can make a person feel like the basic things one needs to do in life are maybe harder than they should be, and definitely those things can make people even more vulnerable to addiction.
I have friends that have been active and involved in AA for years and they've talked about it a lot so I'm a little familiar with AA that way (I'm not an alcoholic myself). But in learning about AA like that, I always felt the sponsor and community aspect seems like a hugely effective / essential component of sobriety because people need community and belonging and the sense of feeling of being supported, known, understood, and helped, and AA not only provides that but provides opportunities to be of service and help and in those groups as a well, AND in AA, people also have the "psychological safety" that people need in any community / group to feel they can be themselves, talk about what they need to talk about with someone who understands, etc.
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Yep. I don't think the sobriety in AA comes from the steps. I think it comes solely from being part of a group.
Absolutely on point. Very well said. 💯🎯
My husband is an addict. Before I met him, I had no experience with people with addiction, and this perspective is generally how I have always viewed addiction. What I didn't realize is that addiction makes connection harder. Through addiction, he can always do something to feel better. However, even in the best of relationships, people will sometimes disappoint you. He is not willing to try to connect with people or tollerate people who aren't perfect from his point of view when addiction can easily and reliably make him feel good. I wish I knew how to get him to want to talk and connect with someone or find something that gives him meaning and purpose.
Fear of intimacy.
This is like verbatim my husband as well. I always invite him to do things that we are doing (even just to the grocery store) and he nearly always rejects me.
This makes so much more sense and fits my husbands personality. Problem is putting up boundaries to protect myself makes it difficult to not isolate him. If he’s drunk I don’t want to be around him, which makes him feel worse. If I am around him, he always triggers me to try to fight. I’m stuck in this loop of damned if I do and damned if I don’t.
Oh my you just said so clearly what I wanted to say - what now?
Same!
Belonging, meaning and purpose.
My question is- are we suggesting families must stay in the addiction with them, being used over and over, lied to (in my case, over a decade) so that ‘they’ can stay connected and feel support?
No you don't have to stay in a bad situation. You have to weigh everyone's needs (including your own!)
No. Simply end drug prohibition. Things will even out.
Amber I LOVE how you point out how the biggest problem is the lack of after treatment care. THANK YOU!!
This makes so much sense. But even knowing the problem it is so hard to correct it. You cannot just summon up good friends or family out of thin air. I think one of the problems of today's society is so many selfish people who believe they are a victim. No being there for each other. A trend on social media to just cut people out, even close family. We are all hurting as a consequence.
I agree with this!! Sober 2 years and it has been challenging staying sober in a world where most people drink alcohol.
I always say I'm glad alcohol isn't my addiction.. since it would be the equivalent of me sitting down to eat with other people shooting up in front of me... Alcohol is so socially acceptable and expected.
This is so accurate. My boyfriend hade been to a 2 year treatment graduated they even find jobs for clients. He left the “Fellowship” as they call it, his sober network of other recovering addicts to find a better paying job because we were having another baby. As soon as he left his group of people that helped him stay sober, he relapsed a few months in. Now he’s trying to get sober again and get back into that treatment center.
My loved one picked up her addiction when she was in college and put into quarantine 2 times for a positive and a false positive diagnosis. I should have intervened but so much was unknown. Didn’t realize at the time how psychologically difficult it was for her as I lost my husband to Covid and also had sever Covid. Tough stuff and now we’re trying to figure out how to get through this with professional help and some good recovery programs.
Your videos really help in understanding what’s really going on.
You'd intervene? How?
This is very easy to understand and follow. I have understood this ever since I encountered addiction in my own family. I have always understood this yet couldn’t find others who understand, except for the addict. It is incredibly clarifying to finally have professionals recognize and acknowledge this. This is truly a breakthrough.
You are extraordinary! I kind of tought that people with addictions are mainly unhappy for a long time but it was never proven.
Thank you so much Diane! 💌
I've always said that the way people treat drug users is only hurting them mentally and emotionally.
I too am a SUDs counselor in Hawaii. Johan Hari does a good job of summarizing Bruce's dislocation ideas in his Ted Talk from a couple years back (Mandatory viewing for my clients). I would note that it also relates well to the Stanford Study published March 11, 2020 in Stanford Medicine News that reveals that 12-step meetings work in large part due to the fellowship (community) aspect as mush as the step work. I'll add that I watch all of your material Amber and love and use it in my counseling! Thank you for your service
Hi Mike! I also like Johan Hari! His book, Chasing the Scream is great! He also has another book called Lost Connections which talks about depression/anxiety that's also really good. Thank you for being a solider fighting against addiction! 🪖
Johann Hari is a fraudster and pseudoscientist
We are all born programmed for addiction. If you think you’re an addict is what I’ve discovered. We are then led to believe mindfulness or meditation stops thinking. It does not. Wd can become the observer of these thoughts and CHANGE our minds! The thinking still goes on. It’s attitude and how we act on or thoughts. Simple yet complex and difficult for most. ❤❤❤
I agree with this new theory of Bruce Alexander, it goes along with Gabor Maté’s perspective that the old way of shaming and not reaching out to the addict is inhumane and barbaric.
These things are important to recognize in ourselves if we're ever feeling HALTO (hungry, angry, lonely, tired and I add to that being overweight and out of shape - that's true for me). - HALT is an acronym addicts sometimes use to remember to try to avoid those situations or be aware of them because they can be more vulnerable to relapse when they are in those states.
In addition to HALTO, we should now add (and should always have added before) the feelings of being low in or absent of the other basic psycho, social, emotional human needs - connection, belonging, meaning and purpose. Maybe also adding self worth and self respect, hope for ourselves and the future, etc.
When we are low in these things we're more vulnerable to quick fix behaviors that are unhealthy and damaging for us. When we're not, obviously, we're better off and in healthier, more productive states.
So, all of us should take these things seriously and work on how to increase them long term in our lives.
This lady is so amazing in her thoughts and how she articulates
Thank you!
Makes so much sense. I am very aware that when I am yelling and screaming at my husband, it is not helpful for him. The problem I have, however, is that when he starts to drink again, which he does frequently because he keeps cycling in and out of sobriety every couple of weeks, is that I feel so hurt angry and betrayed. It is hard to respond empathically. I am trying to detach for my own sake. And perhaps, if I can truly do that, I won't be yelling and screaming when he starts to drink. Other than his drinking, I am definitely not a yeller,, screamer, or swearer. It's like I become a different person. Perhaps this is the drowning you were talking about.
Living with addiction will bring anyone to the breaking point. Be sure to have empathy for yourself too!
End this madness.
I'm watching this again and it's so eye opening!
Amber, one of the things that, I think, is a disconnect for Christians, and the culture we influence, is that we all know that we humans have a soul and that rats do not. So, at a deep level, we discount things like the Rat Park Study.
I would like to help Christians overcome this mental block by pointing out that, yes, all humans have a soul and that makes us different from animals BUT we were also created from the dust of the ground. The bible clearly tells us that animals also came from the dust of the ground (Genesis 2:19) and so the Rat Park Study is relevant to us all because we came from the same stuff.
We have a nervous system that is similar to rats and we have an eternal soul that is similar to divinity. Also, in Genesis 2:19, God gave Adam dominion over the animals by having Adam name all animals, just as we should have dominion over OUR OWN animalistic impulses.
People who study addictions and the bible should, at this point, be able to connect the dots and recognize the age old conflict that we humans face. It was first addressed, in Genesis 4:7, when God told Cain that sin is at the door and he (Cain) should "rule over him" and beautifully expounded on in Romans Chapters 7 and 8.
The last piece of the puzzle is that we humans not only have a body of flesh and an eternal soul, we have a spirit that was disconnected from God because of Adam's sin. Tha great AHA! moment is that the Gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us that the Spirit of God is at work all around us, inviting humanity into a relationship with God. We are being offered a rebirth. We are being offered "the mind of Christ" and the opportunity to become part of the Kingdom of Heaven.... the ultimate "Rat Park".
Look for God and he will reveal himself, look to the cross, believe the Gospel and become a "new creature". The Spirit of God will enable us, despite ourselves, to rule over the old nature. Then do your mental health a favor and get actively involved in a church.
You can get addicted to anything but your body doesn't become physically dependent on a cell phone or facebook etc....... serious withdrawal can be dangerous and can be helped with medical care.....
I was delivered from multiple addictions by the Holy Spirit. No program was needed and no 12 steps. After being set free it is very important to get involved with the church and giving to others. When we begin to isolate again, we leave ourselves open to our old destructive habits. God Bless. My son is struggling right now and is lonely and bored. Hoping and praying he will be delivered as I was.
I am definitely familiar with the rat park studies. Also Johan Hari and his TedTalk where he does a really good job of describing how current theories of addiction and treatment are off course. Isolation is the opposite of wellness, and punishing people for their drug/alcohol problems does not help. He says we need to look at re-connecting them and helping them transition back to their lives, helping them deal with the long term problems of criminal history and credit reports. It's something I show people in my inpatient classes, trying to give them strength and hope. It really is a psycho-social problem, as you said in this video.
You're my super hero you saved my family and I believe you will change the world
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So we do both at our MAT. Our goal isn’t to keep people on medication for life and we tend to get a lot of clients from other practices that don’t want to help people taper off medications. The combination of both (therapy and MAT) does help working adults better mange their lives while getting these things fulfilled. Great show today! It’s 100% what I’ve been preaching for a while. I just wish getting those needs met was easier.
Me too!
L
Wow Amber! This is so good! On point! Eye opening! Thank you so much for sharing this.
Glad it was helpful!
I think we must guard against all or nothing thinking. Perhaps a blend of both theories is the most useful approach. There are good, valid points in both the old and new theories.
Dopamine nation by Anna lembke also explores this but dopamine as the key ingredient that fuels addiction. What I absolutely love about her approach is that she “normalises” addiction as part of the human condition and how - to your point at the beginning - our western society to a large part nurtures addiction as people naturally seek the dopamine high. And our culture is more than happy to feed our desires either through “legal” sources - eg sugar/alcohol or illegal sources - eg drugs. So addicts don’t belong in rehabilitation centres I really don’t believe that. Because at the end of the day, addiction is part of every single one of us. Addiction doesn’t discriminate. As soon as we can acknowledge this then I think our society will be able to approach addiction in a much more holistic way - which in turn will foster these community connections too 👏 just more awareness without judgement this is what our society really needs ✨❤️
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Excellent video. This was so helpful, especially the part about connection belonging meaning and purpose - the way you explained this made incredible sense. Super grateful for these new insights !!
Thanks so much for taking the time to leave your positive feedback! I'm so glad you liked it 💟
I totally understand much better now it all makes sense. Best video yet! Thank you for sharing
You are so welcome!
This is true, Gabor Maté says this as well. 💯💯💯 🎯
These are amazing, thank you so much, I am currently attempting to brake the chain of addiction to kratom on my own, I used this to stop opioid pill addiction, I’m ready to get back my self, the hardest part is going through the withdrawal, that’s the part that scares me, being sick and not sleeping. Thank you so much, you are an amazing person! ❤️✌️😊
I hope you are doing well and free of the k. That's what I'm working on myself, for the second time.
how do you do ?
Another great talk. Thanks again, Amber.
You are so welcome!
It would be interesting to see the rat study done on a spectrum. Basically, the first study deprived the rats of most things and the second study gave the rats everything. If the rats' environment was more varied, less ideal and less predictable. How would this effect the number of rats that would choose the drugs?
I am so relieved to see other studies are being conducted about addiction. I've always thought past addiction treatment processes have been a *little* flawed. Great video!
I think they are totally flawed! Especially the disease model and the family history being a reason genetic model. It just a chemical dependency that is truly engrained in the brain once the user has past a certain point of continuity using. But but that time just have good support and community is not enough to pull them out of the addiction but if that all does exist around a struggling person who is just starting to get addicted than that would tremendously help pull them out before it’s too late!
Also any doctor that want to turn you into patients for life vs finding a way to cure you so you don’t need to keep coming back to them constantly and pay into the system is also a crook imo and even if they think they are helping as they have believed the load of crap the pharmaceutical sales rep sold them then they still are scum bags as your smart enough to become a doctor you should be smart enough to do your own research on it and the subject of addiction before blindly treating it with another stronger imo drug that they will be on for the rest of their lives using MAT/suboxone! 30-100 day detox is first step to not be sick anymore. Then some medication for people may be helpful if they had previously untreated mental illness for real and not made up like doctors like to do with addicts they don’t have other answers for! My fam doc told me I’m bipolar I bout wanted to kick him in the balls right there lol. I’ve never shown any bi polar ness imo in my life yet now after becoming an addict you realize I’ve had bipolar depression my whole adult life and never said anything or able to diagnose me the 50 times I saw you before I went it you for addiction treatment of which he took a 10 day course or maybe 6 months lol can’t remember 100% to become an addiction specialist and be able to prescribe MAT suboxone methadone subutex and make all the same revenue stream that shifted from the pill mills and pain management docs in Floridia and other states that where prescribing Oxy’s out like skittles and become addicted. Then they closed these down so addicts went to the street at first but then they got fentanyl so DEA is cracking down heavily due to ODs from fent and fake Oxy’s. Harder to find anything and scared to die they turn to doctors and rehabs who prescribe them MATs another strong opioid but instead of the dealer you go to doc and pharmacy and pay them to get your fix and mostly subsidized through healthcare(Medicaid)(Obamacare) so they get it cheaper than streets but the dealers aka docs and Pharmaceuticals are still making what they want to profit huge. The profits just shifted from oxy prescribed by pain management crooked docs to addition treatment approved docs(also crooked imo) that can prescribe MATs to opioid addicts for the rest of their lives! The only one constant people making money off both the problem and solution is the pharmaceutical company!
Rehabs also love MAT over trying to cure someone and get them off everything completely as MAT users sre notorious for using MATs subs just to stop withdrawal when they can’t get DOC until they can then they stop the MAT and start the drug again. This back and forth keeps the rehabs full also as they are all repeat people that go in and out rather than getting clean for long times. They also sell the suboxone from MATs and get their DOC for the first week of getting their prescriptions and then run out of money and sick the rest of the month and sometimes go back to detox or rehab until the next MAT script is filled that they can sell and get high from their DOC and do it all over again!
As much I like the 12 steps. I think it's a little bit overrated. I never went to rehab, but I think rehabs are a scam to be honest.
@@Skoopyghost- I tend to agree with you. My father was an alcoholic who sobered up in his late 40s. He was sober and active in AA for the last 25 years of his life.
He had quite a bit of disdain for rehab facilities. They charge ungodly amounts of money and offer absolutely zero in the way of guarantees.
If the patient completes their treatment and heads right to the bar as soon as they’re released the rehab shrug their shoulders and that’s the end of it.
As he once said to me “You can get sober in a church basement if you’re serious about it” (thankfully he didn’t ‘get religion’ after joining AA…the drinking might have been preferable).
Very good info. You are so right. The medical industry, especially big pharma, focuses on dealing with the symptoms, which only serves to prolong or continue the problem. Instead, they should be focusing on solutions.....what is causing the problem to occur and what works to help lessen or alleviate the problem. There is a lot of censorship going on now in regard to preventive and holistic health care which is a big red flag right there.
So many industries only make money / profits if they keep people sick and desperate and weak. Big pharma, healthcare, junk food, fast food, alcohol, gambling, shopping, credit card debt, video games, social media, even big agriculture, etc, etc. Heck even the planet is kept sick with fossil fuels.
No profits in getting people cured and staying healthy and well.
To cure a customer is to loose a customer.
To treat a customer is to keep a customer.
It's a business model.
Thank you. For all your work and research. I need to work on myself before I can help the love of my life.
This is really concise . I see this theory at work right this very day , my partner is really looking for connections. My behaviour towards his addictions has been totally 💯 counter productive. Im not competing with his friends to keep him home but ... i am doing whatever i can to make it a great environment with NO JUDGMENT AND THIS IS HARD and keep my bad emotions off . IT IS WORKING AMBER ! Im doing also the silent intervention program you have and its changing my life , work and family also..im certain ive been half the problem with my panic and punishment reactions
I don't want you to beat yourself up for not always responding perfectly. Being upset, angry, and sad is a totally natural reaction!
@@PutTheShovelDown i guess i am feeling guilty that i have been contributing. But im excited to have these epiphanies so i can change for me !and get out of being sucked into that world , or the trough ,anymore . Yes 🙌🏻 thank you 🙏🏼 Amber so much
Connection Belonging Meaning and Purpose
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I needed the confirmation about the people needing to be needed
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Wow! Mind blown 🤯. This really makes sense for my addicted loved one. Totally understand this theory 👍
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👍🏼 the enemy of addiction is togetherness, love, support. Basically inclusion and acceptance. The opposite only causes addiction to grow and spread.
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ruclips.net/user/shorts4jd_lvxilsE?feature=share
Dr B is most likely where I have learned the majority of things from.
Ever since I found your channel I have been watching everything i can on here. I’m so thankful for all the people in the world like you, dr b, parham, Jessica kent, Jessica (how to adhd), and the many, many others out there who share either their professional knowledge or personal knowledge on all of these addiction/ mental health topics/journeys. ❤️
Appreciate the information. Interesting! May God lead us in the clear path to halting addiction. Exhausting for the addict and the family.
This makes a lot of sense. I would be willing to try this to help my partner. I’ve tried all the other techniques. Leaving the whole 9 yards. So thank you. ❤
Great show today! I've heard about the both studies using rats, but I've never heard about dislocation. It makes a ton of sense. I kinda understand more about my own sobriety or the evolution of my recovery, especially with needing purpose and being apart of community. I think this could revolutionize treatment programs and more towards discharge planning and housing and employment and community. Awesome topic today, I learned a lot today, thanks!
This is so true. Medical "science" NEVER looks at the spiritual side addiction. Yes, I know about AA and the spiritual side of that. My husband already survived ruptured varices and kidney failure due to cirrhosis. He quit drinking for 5 years but two years ago he started drinking again. It's crushed me in almost every aspect of my life. I'm still crushed. I just wanted to thank you for talking about the spiritual side. He refuses any treatment. I wish I knew how to help him. He thinks he's fine though. I have learned so much from your videos, though. Thank you so much!
These are my AA/NA meetings. You have the best channel on addiction on RUclips
Wow!!!!!! Thanks 😮😮💓💓💓😁😁😁
that totally makes sense,we start out partying with our friends as a fun social thing..but then some of us cant let go of the party phase.and we mistake meaning and purpose for drinking instead of adult sober,mature,friendship and meaning..
Spot on!
WoW , this is so correct . I’m in the middle of a divorce after 35 yrs of marriage . What a nightmare ! If I would of had this info a few yrs ago . Would love to chat to Ambler personally . This is So difficult to go through and deal with .. My husband left after I caught him with a woman getting into our truck …getting in our truck .. But for this has ruined our 35 years ..
Swamp aphelia I your doing a great job asking for help , if it's methadone so be it ! You are going forward , you can wing slowly when you need or feel well enough , I've seen methadone withdrawl ,wasn't pretty but they always comeing off to fast and nothing to not panic , I'm glad you chose to get off the scrambler and just try the merry go round ,I'm sorry that no one supported
You in a great choice to get help ,! Stay strong ,your journey is yours ,many people on channels will be support for you but don't get wrapped up in their journey ,everyone's us different
Community,meaning and purpose 🎉
Going to treatment is great but there must be an aftercare program to support the patient to learn how to get back into creating a stable life for themselves and they need resources to be successful and also an ongoing support group. They definitely need to have resources to learn life success skills to get them going on their feet.
I don't buy the premise that it's a "disease" or an "illness" in physical terms of addiction either. It's psychological, a decision based on emotional, psychological and social impacts and choices, and society in general plays a role. I appreciated this quite a bit. I've read the rat park studies with interest because they resonated. People have different formulas for finding purpose or satisfaction in their lives, which is hard for the medical community to fit in a standard model of chemical hooks. During the pandemic, the declaration that sanitizing hands in alcohol gel contributed to a "chemical hook" leading to relapse suggests that a pharmacological solution would apply. But that doesn't really make sense to me... there isn't enough alcohol in hand sanitizer to make someone addicted. It was the isolation that introduced the craving and social stress, no more community support in AA meetings... dislocation. Something Craig Beck wrote in his book was an analogy to people who play with fire and get burned: no one is saying OH, poor person addicted to playing with fire, they got burned! No. That is recognized as the natural consequence of a decision to play with matches! Poverty of spirit... seeking a feeling or desire or purpose to fill the void, or distraction from it makes a lot of sense. Thankyou for these videos and everything you do...
Thank you. Thank you so very very much for sharing Your knowledge and insight. You are helping thousands upon thousands of people see addiction and other behaviors in a new light. Bless you and please keep The videos coming.
You are so welcome, Penny! 💖💖
I think addicts have enough shame without us being nasty.
BEST advice ever!!!
Wow! Thanks Marcy 😁😁😁😁
In my opinion, it seems like we are talking about the top end of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Once you feel safe from violent threats, starvation, and temperature extremes, you start thinking about more abstract things like friendship versus loneliness or the difference between happiness and depression.
Spot on!
Excellent really rings true. Most alcoholics are loners, only the alcohol makes them social. Maybe we can teach social skills in school so that people can relate to one another.
Makes sense n umderlines the need of an loving approach to that problem. I believe that things like boundaries are still very important
You're absolutely right, Herbert! Boundaries are very important!
This is phenomenal. And I almost want to say that we've gotten away from common sense... Although it's taken decades to get here. Time to think outside of the Skinner box again
Thanks Peep Day!
This explains the logic behind the therapeutic community model of rehab that I went to. Part of the program was twice a week field trips to AA/NA meeting of your choice within a Muni San Francisco bus ride. I think we had to be back by like 9:00 p.m. I really enjoyed that but when I left treatment, I left that neighborhood in San Francisco because it's so expensive. I stuck with AA for about a year but fell off. Still clean though 15 years later.
This model would not do away entirely with medication assisted treatment because MAT treats the effects of withdrawal to the body. I know I've commented on this before but Suboxone has plugged the opiate sized hole in my brain. No matter how long I went 100% opiate, methadone and buprenorphine free, I never felt "normal" again. 2 years into the process I'd wake up panicked and momentarily dope sick. My joints hurt and it was difficult to stand for long periods of time. We're talking years later.
This is my experience. Perhaps some of it was mental. Please don't read this if you're in the process of getting off opiates and feel discouraged.
Thank you for this fantastic video! I really appreciate your compassionate and smart approach to treating addiction!
Thank you for your kind words, Shanta!
Great video. My 23 yr old son is currently going through this. This model makes sense on many levels. Thank you 🙏
I like this idea an I believe it’s real. I still struggle my sister in law’s addiction. She has a large close family, spends lots of time with siblings. Married into a big family. Has a good teaching career, loving husband and children. And she’s a closet secret drinker to a crazy level! Why? Totally connected to her family, job life… so why?
I wonder if she liked the drinking so much because she could use it to avoid or check out from responsibility. And then the drinking and lies to hide it Became or Created the hole and disconnect in her life? Can it work that way too?
I think that what you are saying is that [ aftercare ] should not be labeled as a [luxury] . It sounds like a necessity to keep the sense of connection going.
💯💯💯
Thank you for sharing this, it is perfectly explained. This is the best and most important realization ever regarding addiction.
Glad it was helpful!
This theory is exactly on point. Thank you for sharing this. 💜
I’ve said this for years-if you’re not getting the serotonin and/or dopamine flow that humans require, then that human is open to addiction. The type of addiction will depend on the propensity one has toward a given substance or action. The substance or action is incidental to the addiction. As some people find the “high” sitting at a slot machine while others find it in a pipe. The self medication is that the user is getting the brain flow they need to feel happy(ish). There’s another part you’re missing. Some people have perfectly normal lives. They didn’t start by using alcohol for example, due to loss or lack of chemicals. They tried it, liked it, and when the user tried to stop, they found out that they couldn’t due to the physical addiction from it. So I think addiction is unique to the addict and there’s no one size fits all answer. The problem is we need to find categories to determine what type of addict needs treatment, categorize each type as best we can, then treat them according to their type.
Finally, a model that makes sense!
Thanks Deborah
I think this makes a ton of sense. BUT I think both this idea AND the awareness of a certain kind of serious addiction that also seems chemical needs to be kept in mind.
I know people personally (and have heard of others) who know that even after many years of sobriety, they can't touch alcohol or certain drugs or else they know they'll fall off the wagon.
And the people I know who have told me this feel there definitely feels as if there's a biological / chemical component to their addiction.
So even though this rat park concept makes a ton of sense, I think it should be used in addition to some other things addicts have felt or experienced to seem true like the chemical addiction concept. Although the rat park concepts are very likely at the root cause of addictions, once addicted, the additional chemical dependency aspect sometimes develops too.
To look at it this way. Once a cucumber(person) becomes a pickle (addict) you can never be a cucumber again
@@kimilsungthefirst6840 I have a theory based my own limited and atypical experience - I am not an alcoholic (I follow this channel for dealing with another addiction 😩).
But I'm not even a drinker. I literally can't drink alcohol. I can't tolerate it. I've tried it in the past to the point of getting buzzed and drunk a few times, but it's so short lasting and so awful an experience otherwise for me that I can't do it. Not only can I not stand the taste, my body doesn't tolerate it at ALL, in all kinds of ways. It's like it doesn't recognize it as a beverage humans can consume - that it recognizes it as something only for mechanical engines.
Listening to other's experiences all my life, tells me it's clearly different for other people, and very different for certain people.
So there's gotta be a biological aspect for certain people too.
Just how I can't biologically stand or even tolerate it, some others seem to have the exact opposite biological response. Where, I can't physically stand touching a drop, they physically crave an endless amount. And that's before full blown alcoholism where addiction is another factor.
This is one of your best videos. I am so excited to see this material, especially since you have a large audience. Much respect!!! Very in-line with a full Spiritual/Bio/Psycho/Social model that's best practice, even if few actually practice it. :)
Thanks! You must be in the addiction field too?
@@PutTheShovelDown You found me out, lol! Yep, Licensed Counselor/Clinical Supe up in North Carolina
Thanks Amber.
I always did believe this theory with re to seeing the addictions of my loved ones as they’re means to escape or cope with their inability to understand how to handle their emotional pain or fears. Using took away their need to work it through - to learn how to see and understand the reasoning behind their pain or fear. One of my loved ones is still trying to figure this out … he’s in his mid 70s. But this week he’s going to sit with a counselor. I am praying even a bit of light comes in that shows him he has choices he needs to make and can make to grow and be responsible for his thoughts and actions and to see the world outside of just his life but to have compassion for others and help as he can with genuine learned humility as we ALL need to learn, but that wrong thinking can get in the way.
And it takes time to admit and get help and take steps. Thanks again for your getting truths out there!!! 💌👍🙏🦋
Thank you for your kind words and positive support!
“The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?”
Proverbs 18:14
What about family systems theory? I’ve gotten into 12step adult children of alcoholics and they promote inner child work as the solution. Do you think that is a real help?
This is a new concept to me, very interesting, thank you. I have taken college classes in psychology so I am familiar with the 🐀 studies.
Thanks for watching, Terrrapin! Glad it was helpful!
This is so true. Why isolate the addicted person? To punish them? It’s the worst thing to do to them. They need to be loved and care about them. A sense of belonging not isolation
Great opened minded conversation
Listened with great interest to this
I do see this displacement in those such as my dearAH
who has complex ptsd
Adhd
Brain injury
Lifelong depression
I see his needs weren’t met
However the issue didn’t become a problem until in his 40s
And now if he touches liquor he immediately enters a state where he can’t be reached
And drops off the edge of earth for a week
Definitely a chemical element after some years however
@Gail Tabone...I feel you. Part of the tribe and I hope you keep your head up, I know how hard it is.
I went to Ala non for 8 years to help me change instead of trying to change my family members with addiction . we go to church and besides the spiritual benefits and being with like minded people, we socialize and support each other through tough times and good times. We share our lives not only on Sundays but every day. Just seeing each other and talking face to face as opposed to texting from our homes. Working on helping others brings purpose to our lives. Teaching future generations to carry the torch of love, kindness, compassion, courage, etc… . Even on days I don’t feel like going I remember I go for them and they go for me. We show up.
Our children quit going and we aren’t as close as we use to be cause they think it’s a waste of time. They’re adults now and both of them won’t even allow us to mention God to our grandchildren. No prayer. No spiritual guidance. It’s a great loss. Like a divorce. We rarely see each other . Christmas, Easter and other holidays are lonely in that we wish they were with us at church at least once in awhile. I guess what I’m saying is we miss them the way things use to be before alcohol and drugs. It’s changed their personalities, thinking and hearts.
Thank you for sharing this theory. Regarding the four needs (CONTROL, BELONGING, MEANING, PURPOSE) who came up with that list?
Hi Linda, It's actually Connection, Belonging, Meaning, and Purpose. I'm not sure who originally came up with that but I would imagine it was probably someone in the attachment psychology.
@@PutTheShovelDown Thank you.
I totally agree with this. Thanks Amber❤️💯💯💯
Yeah, thanks MyYu K! 😁
Following along. This is precisely what we see in our daughter.