Emotional Manipulation Tactics You Should Never Tolerate!
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- Опубликовано: 21 окт 2020
- Some emotional manipulation tactics are completely out of bounds! This video reveals the 5 emotional manipulation tactics that you should NEVER TOLERATE! For more information on Manipulation, watch this next: • Dealing With Manipulat...
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You are helping me through the hardest time in my life.
It's an honor to be a little part of your journey!
you all probably dont give a shit but does someone know a way to log back into an instagram account??
I stupidly lost the password. I would love any assistance you can offer me
I agree - this has been some of the best information I’ve gotten from anywhere!! Thank you.
She's awesome!
Stay strong! Learn, heal. Things get better.
Drugs suck. Ruined my whole family. Mom and 3 brothers got addicted to drugs after my dad died 11 years ago. I watched them slowly kill themselves over a period of 11 years. my mom died one brother in jail. And two other brothers living in the streets. We used to have a perfect family that was big. What I witnessed and felt the last 11 + years has been the most humbling life lesson anyone could learn. it taught me what’s really important in life. It’s hard not to think what different outcome would have happened if my father didn’t die. I have one other brother who has a good head on his shoulders And I have a awesome family I’m very thankful for. Blessings to anyone in the struggle! 🙏
Your message has been a light in a forrest of darkness .for the last 23 years i have watched my wonderfull wife slip down hill because her son has controlled our lives by drinking to excess and using the mental health card.every time he gats drunk his mother and father make all the excuses and pick up the peices until next time.he always manages to pull up though.they cant see it.when sober he is charming and its making me look like the bad guy.after 23 years i have had enough and cant understand why i am leaving.cant wait!!!!!
I understand I have a son who is driving me insane . He says he doesn’t need rehab. His girlfriend doesn’t need rehab . All the while there destroying there lives . Now on the streets, I m broke from giving them money. Praying all the time . The lord is my salvation. Your story caught my eye , and Godbless you and your brother.
Very odd
Thank you ❤❤❤
Thank you so much. You are shedding a lot of light into our darkness
my pleasure, Rose!
Yes
So true
Yess!🙌🏼🙏🏼
Oh my goodness!!! GUILT-STRACTION is totally a real thing!?!?!? My husband is a connoisseur of this! He has a few situations he brings up regularly. Then I wonder, “How did we get here? Why do I feel bad??” THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I need to learn those disarming tactics.
Guild-straction is definitely a real things! hahaha😂
Omg. Guiltstraction is a part of my everyday life. So glad I found you girl.
I know this video is from 2 years ago but I just found it and guiltstraction has been my wife's go-to for 20 years.
"Guilt-straction" is almost part of my daily life... My husband absolutely REFUSES to acknowledge whatever it is he's being confronted with. We call it deflecting. I'll even tell him "stop deflecting" and he'll say "oh you learned a new word." Or I told him "stop that, you're talking like a narcissist" and he'll say "oh, so I have a label now, good, thanks."
I'm struggling so bad. I've been struggling off and on for years.... It hurts so dang bad...
What's harder is our 10yr old son also refuses to take responsibility, even when caught red handed. He'll say "you guys always blame me, you never believe me!" Plus! He loves his dad so much.
Try and think of leaving when it might destroy your little boy... I'm so tired. 😓
This info is helpful after a recent breakup with someone who abuses and is addicted to alcohol. What a rollercoaster. And if we’re not careful, we become patient #2 for various reasons ❤️
So glad it was helpful. You’re totally right about becoming patient #2!
Stay strong hun. 💜
What's essential for building bonds in relationships is trusting that others will respect your vulnerabilities. With addicts, you cant expose your vulnerabilities too often (if at all), because they will use them to hurt you (especially if they're nowhere near the recovery process)
I learned this through going on a tangent on ATTACHMENT THEORY, thanks to one of your videos. Stay awesome Amber!
Well said, Mohamed!
My ex husband is an addict and he gas lighted me so badly for so many years I really believed I was going crazy. Now my 20yr old daughter is an addict and she gas lights me also. It's so hard when it's your child who is the addict cause you feel trapped and don't want to kick them out but if they won't help themselves in any way you don't have a choice.
It really is so hard when it’s your child.
You're so adorable! Like me, you use a lot of facial expressions. I enjoy listening and grabbing those nuggets of information that is truly empowering me. I'm out the door with my alcoholic husband divorce is done. I feel the freedom and I'm happier and joy is back in my life.
Awwwww thanks Michelle!
Amen to that!
Girl!!! I can not you enough for all these videos! You are the light in the darkness for me right now! Keep up all the hard work!
Thank you so much!!😁💝
Absolutely I am totally drained!
You are amazing. I love the examples. When you help with the actual words to say. Boundaries are such a life skill. Boundaries with an addict is like taking a masterclass in boundaries. Keep posting!
This has helped me so much I don’t even have words...
I'm so glad, April!
You are SPOT ON!!!! I actually though i was crazy. This person is doing all this constantly. I’m moving out though in two weeks.
At the distraction and giult part really hit home!
Also gasslighting.
Hi Robert. I'm really glad to hear this video was helpful to you, but sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough situation 😥
One of your best live views! True reality on these tactics ... thank you for all your help 🙏
God bless you Amber for using your gift and wisdom to share this valuable information to all of us who are experiencing these behaviors and trying to work through it all. ❤
You're so very welcome!
Your mentioning a distinction between holding a limit with a personal boundary and trying to control somebody else to meet a personal need or want is just what I needed to hear. Thank you for putting out this encouraging material. It seems like every time I hear another way of putting something into words, it helps strengthen my sense of what a boundary is. Learning to identify needs and wants and to make requests being open to yes or no responses is a big deal when manipulation or do without are the only tools in the box. Thanks for the help to develop a healthier understanding of behavioral health.
You're getting an A+! I can tell you're really getting it 💯
@@PutTheShovelDown thank you! The struggle is real!
Your clients are really lucky to have you! And I am really lucky to have found your channel!
Thank you so much!
I recently discovered and subscribed to your channel. I love listening to your videos. I grew up in an addictive family. I still struggle will addictive personality traits and have made many, many mistakes over the years. My ex step-brother had been gaslighting me after my mother passed away a few years ago. I slowly pulled away from being under his 'control' as he had himself named as the primary trustee and was determined to keep as ;much of my family's inheritance as he could. By the Grace of God, my daughter and I were able to move away and cut all ties with him and his family. He refuses to close my mother's Trust, but I see that as him having some very deep-seated issues within himself. I've been a single mom for many years and love being independent. I've made the deluded mistakes that you speak of and can look back and see how many times I would convince myself that it was all okay at the time. Thank yiou for sharing your knowledge with us!!
I’ve experienced them all and I’m ashamed to say that I’ve been guilty of most! I’m a work in progress!
It takes a lot of humility to admit that, and because you have that insight, you'll be much less likely to keep doing those thing!
So glad I found this channel. We are on our knees with our sons drink and drug addiction. 😪
Hi Donna, We're so glad to have you in our little community!
As s former addict, he has to want to quit. Dont enable him, that could make it worse. Good luck.
Its my husband for me. I cant even imagine watching my child go thru it. Stay strong, Mama!
🙏🙏🙏
Family member is in crisis now, and I am so thankful I have you to learn from and guide me 😊
thank you again. Having been the addict and now the family member watching a child struggle is well overwhelming at times. In the videos of yours that I've seen so far, you seem to speak Truth. Like many who suffer from addition, we have done or experienced all this, not just this one topic. So far, I beleive you know of what you speak and seem Earnest. Thank you. I plan on devouring more and more or your content. My next will be about denial and blame cause that's where our family is it it seems. So sad. But we have faith. Shalom!
He always stays calm and I lose the head and then I am the bad guy.
Sounds like he was an expert at getting you to play the bad guy role!
Thank you, Amber. I have dealt with all these things with my addicted son. I need a break. Your channel has been very helpful.
They also try to change the subject when you bring up something they dont want to talk about.
They sure do!
I'm at the point in my marriage to an alcoholic that I want to leave . I've been going to alanon for 3 plus years I just can't live with this anymore. 😭thank you for sharing all your wisdom!!
Addiction can only live in the darkness. Call out what's happening w/out emotion: "I feel like you're emotionally blackmailing me,
1. Display of inadequacy
2. Gaslighting
3. Guilt-straction - curveball topic to avoid discussion/responsibility
4. Pestering - wear you down until you're exhausted
5. Threatening - if you don't do this, this bad thing will happen. Take the person's worse fear as leverage to get the other person to do what the addict wants. Addiction can only live in the darkness. Call out what's happening w/out emotion: "I feel like you're emotionally blackmailing me." "If you're trying to pester me, that' not gonna work." Instead of arguing about the trash, talk about the process: "why do we always get into an argument about the trash?"
I"m giving you an A++++!
Hi Sweetie Yhank for everything God sent I’m a new view Er ….Blessings!
Hi Amber. I've watched this before and I'm watching it again because it's so helpful to me. Thank you. I appreciate you. I'm going through a very difficult time with my 34 year old addictive son. Taking one day at a time. Be blessed. 🌹🙏💗
You're so helpful, I am learning lots. The gaslighting messes up my head so much I freeze. Pestering, my child was gifted here. I have done the if you won't pay attention to me, someone will. That's an ugly place to be. To say that and to feel that neglected bad place to be.
I have to say thank you!!! You have been helping me in this horrible time in my family lives..
You are so welcome
This channel is saving my life bc sometimes I get so angry dealing with the particular family member I don’t know what tf to do
I'm so glad these videos have been a little ray of hope in an otherwise dark situation.
Thank you for all your videos. I have not been able to help my addicted love one, but I was able to save myself.
Such a great video. So helpful.
I am so delighted I found you. You are excellent at explaining things without black and white thinking. Thank you
Hi Helen, Welcome to our little community. I'm happy you found us as well. Hope to hear more from you in the future!
Amber, You are teaching me so much ch!!
"Guiltstraction" Perfect! Thank you for expanding our language resources. Also, "the worst thing you can do is let it work." And "call it out" in a calm matter of fact kind of way. Good stuff. The light you're shining on behaviors and accountability is helping a lot to see the "communication housekeeping" I need to be doing. I really appreciate your distinguishing the content and the process. Exhausting work. Encouraging to have help identifying the manipulative behavior. Wow. Puffer Fish. Thank you for your work.
I can tell you are really understanding this material!
Communication housework. Love it!
Thank you so much ❤️ I was feeling like the bad guy... my heart still aches... but I know I’m doing the right thing, as difficult as it is for me to do.
I feel you are pointing out everything my son does. I have 2 adult addict sons and I have experienced all of these. 😢
My brother is an addict and master manipulator. He knows exactly what to say to trigger my anger and guilt. Yesterday he said very hurtful things and I fell for it once again! Even though I have distanced myself, moved on with my life, and excluded him, the heartache never goes away.
I have went through all of this and more too many time.
Brave me speaking out as you joked; I learned and did it some myself.
Sadly. I am so happy to have come across your video and I hope you have more. Going to check out your page.
Much love 💗
Hi MizzBecky82, Welcome to our little community. There's tons more videos here like this one!
You have no idea how your videos help. Addictions are devastating and crippling to many.* I’ve never heard anyone explain things in ways you do. Down to earth. Young lady, you are* very instrumental in saving lives. Thank you
Awwww, thank you so much Dlynn! I'm so glad the videos are helpful for you 😁😁😁
You are amazingly insightful.
I am so grateful that I found your page. My significant other is currently in rehab and my mental state was in a whirlwind. You have helped me understand
So glad you're here!
This is so important. Thank you for empowering people❤️
You are so welcome, Kristina! 😁
Thank you! I'm a strong & educated woman who's been in a 10 yr relationship with a gaslighter who has zero ability to communicate about anything at all. Ive been stonewalled the majority of the 10 yrs & am just a shell of who I once was. In response to the stonewall, I go ape 💩 & now it's worse than ever. I don't even know who I am anymore but am completely broken. I'm afraid I don't have the strength to get myself well again. Your videos have taught me so much & I appreciate your dedication to providing this information. I have to keep going because I have kids who need me but I'm so tired. There has to be others out there who feel the same way. Why have I been so committed to this mess?
Hi Teresa, there are hundereds of thousands out there who feel the same way. That's right, you are a strong educated woman and from now on, you're going to be 5 Steps Ahead of addiction! There are hundreds of thousands of people out there who feel exactly like you.
hey there, if you are still reading I hope you got out! I was in the same place as you, I got out and recovered and am now happy!!! I wish you the same! 🌸
Thanks you Amber Hollingsworth for guiding me through this 1st time experience...was feeling lost and unsure yet resisting resentment and bitterness. Your voice and natural speech pattern is melodic and soothing. Bless you abundantly always!
You're so very welcome. I'm just happy these videos are helpful😊
I had a “friend” who did this. Starting to watch the video and the first and third point resonated *reaaaallly* close to home. Thank you for this, it really validated what I was feeling at the time.
Hi Anna, I'm really glad to hear this video was helpful to you!
Wow about the best video I’ve watched of yours yet. So amazing your information and style! Thanks for your contribution to people needing to learn and be acknowledged
Wow, thank you!
You are a blessing, thank you for speaking frankly!👏🏻👏🏻
Thanks for listening
thank you Amber, your awesome. I have always been told I was hard-headed. :)
It must be true I watch and rewatch, slowly it is sinking in.
I love your channel, you are knowledgeable about the human psyche and your videos are so helpful.
Thank you so much, Zinnia!
Thank you for this. I have experienced all of these tactics. It is exhausting
Thanks for all of your helpful videos. I now know that I am not alone in dealing with my adult addict son. Truly awful days.
You really describe the manipulations commonly used by addicted persons very well ! Thank you for these insightful strategies to help deal with addicted persons
Thanks Mike! I'm so glad you found this helpful 😀
Just starting to build boundaries for myself, an learning to stop being manipulated that you for helping me find hope , in this relationship with someone I've been in love with for 4 year's for an addict , I almost lost myself completely thanks again
Hi I am new and very happy to be here!
in my idiction i did it my self to my own poore granmother cause she loves me so much she will most of the time give me what i wanted cause i will tell her i was gonna go do something crazy to get it if if she didint.I WAS SO FUCKED UP FOR DOING THAT AND MORE....I NEVER GRT TIRER OF BRINGIN IT UP TO HER ASKING FOR FORGIVENESS OVER AND OVER AND SHE OF COURSE WILL TELL ME HOW SHE ALREADY FORGAVE ME LONG AGO.SHES A AMAZING WOMAN,SHE RAISE ME,SHE WAS MY GRANMOTHER/MOTHER CAUSE MY MOM WASENT AROUND AS MUCH AS HER.IM VERY GREATFUL FOR HER FORGIVENESS AND WILL NEVER DO IT AGAING.IM AN ADDIC AND I BEEN LERNING SO MUC FRO YOUR VIDEOS,IM VERY THANKFULL FOR YOU TAKING THE TIME TO MAKE THEM.TODAY IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I DISCOVER UR VIDEOS AND I HAD LURN SO MUSH IN LIL BIT OF TIME OF WATCHING THEM!!! THERE AMAZING,NO,YOU AMAZING!!!GOD BLESS YOU WITH MUCH MORE KNOLEDGE AND WISDON WOW THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
Hi Cookie, Welcome to our little community. You've got great insight and humility. I can see just how much you've turned your life around!
Thank you for this very informative and helpful video Amber.
You are so welcome!
I love your channel !!!
This is so helpful...thank tou
You have described just about my entire relationship in just 5 steps! I will definitely try the disarming method! He always throws me the curve ball. And the topic he moves onto isn’t even “important” it’s just to sidetrack! And the blackmail manipulation is real! We share 2 children! I’ve been a stay at home mom for 6 years and just went to work part time! And that’s all I have to say!
I think going to work, is going to help you feel more independent and less reliant.
I wish this channel was around to help me when I stayed with my ex for 23 years after questioning my sanity for most of that time not knowing about these 5. I have been out of that relationship for 15 years now and my only regret is not to have left sooner. Thank you for all of the people you are currently helping.
Hi Amber. Good stuff
You're videos see really helping with things I wasn't aware of.
😁
All your advice is gold thank you for doing what you can to make a difference
You are so welcome, Cynthia!
Love your channel!! What a relief to hear this stuff!!!
So glad! 😁😁😁
My daughter use #5 often with me but now I am going to work how to deal with the situation. Thank you , I need to watch more of your videos 🕊. When I try to confront her ,almost immediately she will ask me to live .
Keep doing what you do! Your informative and interesting videos helped me and I'm sure a ton of others a lot in life. So thank thank you, genuinely from the bottom of my heart :')
I appreciate that! Thanks Cris😁
I am so thankful I found this
Hi Sheri, I'm so glad it was helpful to you!
One tactic I didn't see you mention here is what I call -- the Stone Wall. It is when the person just stands there without showing any kind of emotion and doesn't speak at all when you are trying to avoid something or get your way. My daughter was a "master" at this when she was younger until I figured out how to counter it (which took years!). Example: "Can you clean your room honey before coming down for dinner?" --- stone wall. "Did you hear me? Can you clean your room?" -- stone wall. "Hello? Is there anyone there?!" -- stone wall.
It will drive you absolutely crazy! I actually took her to the Dr. multiple times to have her hearing checked because I thought she might be deaf or have a mental problem. Whenever there was something she didn't want to do, she would use that tactic and it had me questioning my sanity. There was no way you could feel good about your parenting because you had no idea what was going on in her head....was she scared, angry, didn't hear you, avoiding, ?????? You have nothing to argue, talk, or act upon because there was no response and it had me questioning everything I did. Was I being to hard on her or not hard enough? Did she have some medical condition or was she fine and just trying to get her own way? For those dealing with 'pestering' behavior, this is a great tactic....just stand there and say and do nothing while looking right at them.....eventually they will fade off and go away because they aren't getting a reaction and they have nothing to do except listen to themselves rant.
That’s a good one! I didn’t even think of it. How did you eventually figure out how to get around it?
@@PutTheShovelDown she stonewalled her back lol
This is what my spouse does. I can’t communicate with him at all. It’s horrible.
Great video! Thanks! God bless
Thank you! You too!
Thank u for your advice...it seems the most solid 👌 out of all the research I've done on RUclips. I am seeking an action plan for a loved one
I Larry! I'm so glad this was helpful!
My son is 20 he does almost all the tactics you are talking about! I never know how to get it stop! It makes life so hard! Every time he can wear me down! Thank you for all your helpful words!
Hi Coxwell! I'm glad this video was helpful for you.
Expose him to what he's doing...let him know you know 😉
I've had all of these done to me. Thank you for giving me practical advice.
You're so welcome!
I can’t believe it didn’t look for support earlier on this trauma
It can become the normal, and we forget that it's trauma!
Hi I'm new to your channel. Thanks for sharing this information.
I used better help counseling & didn't feel like I got any help really , but these videos are very helpful .
I’m new! Thank you Amber
Welcome to our little community, Kim! so glad you're here 💖💖💖💖😃😃
Hi I so enjoyed you I will keep listening and learning thank you from Texas 💗
Thanks Louise from Texas!
Playlist on Manipulation: ruclips.net/p/PLaaJWwIpP_zZduHyvDBhsWlsrbm07HssA
Download my FREE QUICK-Guide for DEALING WITH MANIPULATION:bit.ly/manipulationguide
You are a gosh darn psychic. I recognized most all of these in myself as the codependent loved one of an addict...and I realized I don’t manipulate anyone else this way and would dream of doing that. Only the addict in my life...it’s like it’s gotten to a point where the rules are that we treat each other so badly that anything is fair game.
Sometimes things can get toxic. We get desperate and start doing things we wouldn't normally do. I'm impressed with your insight.
My ex pulled out number five when our child overdosed. She overdosed during covid after three years of sobriety. At the time, I was watching every video you put out. During her treatment you literally helped me every step of the way. We were really healing. I wanted to thank you for that.I was lucky my daughter did have three years sobriety that included 28 months of treatment. Unfortunately, we did lose her. Her father refused to attend the funeral because the seating was limited and he didn't want to see my youngest child. It was only because of previous videos that I recognized his manipulation. I called it out. He didn't come. I wasn't surprised
That must have been so so hard for you. Praying for your healing. 🙏🏻
I think I’ll be Coming back to these videos and Ask questions when I have the time. I recognize almost all of it.
Hi Kjerstin! We'd love to hear more from you in the future 😀
I call it the blame game when someone tries to control the conversation using the tactic of distracting you with bringing up something you, or someone else did as a way to justify their bad behavior and choices (deflection for the win). That's when I tell them that everything is a choice and we all make good and bad choices. Owning those choices instead of blaming someone else for them is important and a sign of emotional maturity. I also point out that no one should have the power to control them like that. I am essentially giving them no excuse to justify their bad choices and making them own their choices, along with the consequences of those choices. I usually do not get any push back when I go over all of that with them. At the same time, I need to make sure I practice what I preach. LOL We all have to keep ourselves in check, there are so many pitfalls we can find ourselves in!!
When someone tries to play the blame game with me, it drives me nuts. My ex husband used that when he was abusing prescription drugs, my middle child does that when I catch him not doing his chores. Both of my boys do it when they are trying to defend their choice for continuing a needless argument. My addict sister does that trying to make me out to be the bad guy in our family so she can keep controlling my family members (so difficult to watch, BTW).
I find that boundaries are so important and they help a lot! My problem is, more often than not, my boundaries will be what I call 'turtling' - hiding underneath my protective shell. I will completely withdraw from these people who I find I am too vulnerable towards (and frankly, do not deserve that vulnerability) and I want nothing to do with them. I don't think this is really a healthy way of dealing with these people (because they are family or an ex husband who I will have to deal with, regardless). I am curious what you have to say about that, Amber. How far should I take the boundaries when it is just not realistic?
Hi Bethany, I can see that you've given this issue a lot of thought and that you try to see all sides. In generally, I'm okay with distancing yourself from toxic relationships (even if they are family) when needed. However, I without knowing all the background, I can't give you a for sure answer.
@@PutTheShovelDown Thank you for your response and for doing what you do to try and help others! I really appreciate all that I have learned from your videos.
I will try to accept that there are some situations that call for distancing myself, regardless of how painful it is to do.
in it deep now. Thankyou I am so angry and sad. A huge loss but you are helping. 🙏💗
New to your channel, I just want thank you for your knowledge.
I love your video’s - so enlightening 💡
Thanks Dohnia! I'm so glad there helpful 😁
thank you Amber
My pleasure Crissie!
I definitely want to speak to you all these topics I am exp right now it’s amazing feel like a blind fold was removed
Found your channel recently and I’ve been binge watching them. Love your videos! They’re so helpful and informative. Thank you!❤️
Also to add, my mom is an addict and has mental health issues and she does all of these manipulative tactics and it makes me so nervous any time I have confrontations with ANYONE in my life, I assume they’ll come back with one of these manipulative tactics and I start prepping myself for them and jen realize what I’m doing and ask myself why since they don’t usually do this to me. My husbands the only one I trust and know won’t do this to me. I have the healthiest relationship with him than I do anyone in my life. So much so that I don’t know the last time we “fought”.
I'm so glad to hear you have such a loving relationship with your husband🥰
Hi Nicole! Welcome to our little community. We're so glad you're here 😊
Thank you. I need this. My husband is driving me crazy
Amber - you should write a book - great how you can put into words what often we do not realise is even happening - often alcoholics are stuck in a childhood age level and why they use childish tactics
Im new here. Didn't drop in for addiction but you hit the nail dead on about this with recovering from narc abuse. Difficult setting boundaries and confrontation.
Hi Donna, welcome to our little community. We're glad you're here
You are a blessing!
Right back at ya!
@@PutTheShovelDown you are a light in the darkness
Hi I am new here your videos are great! And just the couple videos I’ve watched have already so helpful
Hi Jean. Welcome to our little community. So glad you're here 😀
Thank you! I think we all have a degree of God given ability to recognize bad behaviors, but perhaps are too busy living complicated lives to slow down enough to analyze.
You're so right, Karen. It's especially hard to see when you're in the middle of the storm!
I’m new great advice thank you
I have gotten a lot from your RUclips channel thank you so much
My pleasure mazermajestic! 😊
Great video, I love your accent 😍 my husband is a master and guiltstraction, thanks so much for putting a name on it!
I haven't told him I know he's addicted. I need to get me and my kids to safety first. But I thought once I was gone I would tell him "it's either you quit or you won't see us again" but I've realised that thats emotional blackmail. It's not that I don't want to see him again, or want him to see his kids. I just want him to be motivated to stop. He was the best husband, and he didn't use these manipulation tactics before he started drugs. It's heartbreaking
Hi Light upon light, Here's my playlist on motivating someone to take steps toward recovery: ruclips.net/video/ED6vqEj6Tv0/видео.html
@@PutTheShovelDown thanks so much, I've been watching through your playlists. I still haven't confronted him about it, and I'm trying to educate myself on the best way to approach the matter before I do that. I'm also trying to leave the country im in, I'm trying to get back home and even get him back too, he's agreed but it's a process and I won't open the topic with him until I know me and the kids are safe.
Id really love to be able to talk to you more, or if u have any specific videos that talk about actually breaking the news to them you know. Theres only so far I'm willing to go because i feel like the last five years me and my kids have been unknowing victims to his addictions. I spent years trying to work out what was going on with him because he changed so drastically. And now I'm just tired and want to go home and give my kids a life. At the same time I love my husband dearly and it hurts me so much that such a wonderful man has deteriorated so badly. 😔
Once I'm out of the country, which I'm hoping to leave before him and he follow me later, I will open the topic with him. In the meantime I'm trying to give him advice without telling him I know.
Great insights, thanks for sharing. My X pesters my kids to death, so they give up. I didn't know how to identify it before, but I just knew it was wrong. Thanks for giving it a name.