How To Help Someone With A Drug Or Alcohol Addiction Using the CRAFT method
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- Опубликовано: 1 авг 2024
- The CRAFT method is proven to be the most effective intervention model for an addicted loved one. Let's take a look at what it is and why it works! 👉🏻Learn More about the Invisible Intervention:
www.familyrecoveryacademy.onl...
💜 Invisible Intervention:
www.familyrecoveryacademy.onl...
The recommended Book Beyond Addiction can be found on our Amazon storefront: www.amazon.com/shop/addiction...
Watch a real-life Motivational Interviewing Session:
www.familyrecoveryacademy.onl...
Download Amber's Home Drug Screening Guide:
www.familyrecoveryacademy.onl...
Additional Free Resources:
www.familyrecoveryacademy.onl... 
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👀Watch a real-life Motivational Interviewing Session:
www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/motivational-interviewing-session
Amber you're so intelligent ,I just wished you had your own in house rehab because you understand people on different levels than most ,you have real compassion in your hear for the addicts that suffer and understand their is a deep root and wounds in the people that caused them to feel the need to use in the first place. The world is not treating addiction seriously instead they are looked down on as criminals and they are good people suffering in their own mind , something needs to change ,too many are dieing daily from accidentally overdose.😥
@@teresagreen1484
ppL q
My addict could never string these sentences together or have the emotional maturity or awareness to work through an issue like this. How do you get him to THAT point?
No one can change another person without their desire to change...
Amen❤
Well, the people that do have the will to change need help. It's a full time job to make a real change like this. If they have less stress to cope with then they won't need to fall back on their coping mechanism.
It has worked for my son.. Hes changed.. I sent him uplifting videos.. Spoke positive things into his life.. I went on my knees crying out to Jesus.. They need uplifting.. Love.. Don't give up.. Pray without ceasing..
That’s right I found that with my poor sister.
@@whitepeoplergullible9241I agree their is not enough help in the uk.
Never lose hope.. my brother is active alcoholic and I’m in sobriety.. I always tell him he’s worthy of sobriety and healing-maybe one day he will see his own life and see how much better it can be … without alcohol.. I stay sober for many reasons.. and willingness to help others with setting a example is a beautiful thing to do.. I stay sober for humanity and to raise the vibrations for the one’s still suffering.. you must have purpose to be excited about life and sobriety.. the person suffering feels like they have no purpose in life .. they feel fucked up inside and can’t understand the emotional body.. they can’t be trusted.. and it’s not even there fault.. they need to be retrained
My son is the alcoholic in our family , I raised him and my daughter as a single parent . His mother was an alcoholic and sadly passed due to to the effects of alcoholism . He is 29 yrs old living at home , he is living at home because he had burnt all his bridges with all his friends and family , he has now resorted to steeling money from myself which I feel is the lowest act he has done , my son has always been one who has not related to the norms of life , he avoids everything and has is own conspiracy theories which he feels works for him not to conform to any sense of what we would call normal.
Check out SMART Recoverty and Famileys and Friends (CRAFT)😀
I'm so glad I found your channel! My son has an appointment next week with you. He's doing good and I'm dealing with his issue completely different! He's went to his doctor and told them the truth and put me on the access to his records. They gave him clonidine to help and some depression medicine. I think with some coaching and his doctor he may get this over. He said he is done and he treated himself to amazon shopping with the money he was wasting pain pills! He looked at me last week and said why did I do this to my body. Hes three weeks off and he said I'm not going to lie its hard but its getting easier each week.
That’s so great. I can’t wait to meet him😃. The truth is almost always inside them. Building trust helps it come out.
Just bought the Beyond Addiction book. I’m hoping to change how I react when I come home to find him passed out. I cannot continue the cycle my parents had; I need peace in my life!
Love your determination!
I have binge watched you! My husband and I are Helpers and extremely empathetic personalities. Christians first with love and undesreved forgiveness as our foundation of our beliefs. Im a nurse, he is a customer service expert in a position that deals with the most difficult situations. We have taken a meth addict ( our brother, and brother in law) . Into our home. 6 months clean but peace is difficult. Thank you🙏❤️your an angel.
You're a blessing to so many! 😀
Hey my name is Gabriel, I am 18 and I have struggled with hard drug and alcohol use since I was 14. I cleaned myself up when I joined the military but it was not easy since I had to do it completely alone. My absolutely amazing girlfriend and future wife is struggling with a serious marijuana addiction and she needs help. I am never leaving her no matter how hard things get but I really want to give her the help in getting over her addiction that I never got. I found your video and I learned some very helpful tips and tricks so I sincerely thank you! I took plenty of notes and I am dedicating my life right now to helping her the best I can and showing her the unwavering love she deserves! Thank you so much for the advice as I am now better equipped to help with our situation. Thank you!
My loved one that used an approach similar to CRAFT (it wasn’t around when I got clean) helped me get the motivation to improve MY life through recovery. The fact that his life would be improved was a happy by product for him. His approach paired with the fact that he didn’t ask me to “do it for him” was what motivated me.
My recovery catapulted when I cut off my family of origin. Through recovery I was finally able to stand up for myself and say out loud that their personalities were the main catalyst for my addiction. I cut them off and leaned into my chosen family. That was 22 years ago, and my life is beautiful. My daughter’s “grandmother,” the only one she has ever known, loves us in a healthy way. Unlike my family of origin.
Giving love and support to one struggling is the best thing to offer. Dont abandon them and set boundaries. Only the addict can change. Most addicts need love if not all of them. They are broken. Love is free.
My daughter wanted me to call police to have her removed from house if using. When I did that police said they cannot. Children’s aid is involved and I have her children under kinship. So I informed CAs and they removed her from the home. Now she mad that I “told on her”. I explained I’m only trying to protect her two children from her use and sketchy people coming here.
you cant make someone that does not realize alcohol is problem, that you have to realize yourself
Do you have a video on dealing with the emotions that come up for the person dealing with an addcit, to work through these emotions that can make empathy possible?
This is so true. Thanks Amber for these videos. I’ve changed the way I interact with my husband (active alcoholic) and my home is more peaceful and I’m less angry. ( I still get upset but I’m human) I detach now when we drinks and he actually will come into the room I’m in and tell me he loves me. He never did that before.
How long did it take for him to do that. I’ve been detached for awhile and it’s not gotten anywhere
thanks, I want to thank you... in only few days of following your advice... my wife opened, and we are working together to help her out!!! the only thing I did was to bite my tongue and creating positive experiences for her. I only point the good things she does, and praise her for that... she used to drink almost everyday, now she working on it.... I had to put my judge clothes aside and act as her attorney!!!! words can not express ow much I thank you!!!
WOW! WOW! WOW! This is so beautiful! You're a rockstar 🤩🤩🤩🤩
its difficult to put pride aside. Im also human. I have my flaws that my loved ones put up with... its better to work together... I mean they are already fighting a battle on their own. They need to feel that you have their back... that they can count on you, instead of you becoming another enemy!!!... by the way, greetings from Dominican Republic!!! I lost my father because of alcohol and so many friends... but IM fighting this one, you basically kill them with kindness.@@PutTheShovelDown t
Recovering alcoholic here 4 year journey to get here .. my experience is to allow life to the teacher and create your own boundaries as the person living with the illness .. when the person who isn’t well becomes willing to change.. only then will they do so ..
no contract-no boundaries-no nothing will make a addiction stop .. the only thing that works for me is loving myself and willingness to be better and healthier.. and be accountable for my alcoholism.. knowing I’m the only one who could save me ..
anyone who thinks they can change someone needs to realize they can’t.. so take care of yourself and allow life to be the teacher of others-
I believe anyone can change when they become willing.. if they aren’t.. then love them from a distance..
good luck and your god speed❤️🙏
Congratulations to you!!! And thank you for this information and advice in dealing with loved ones. It’s so difficult dealing with someone that doesn’t see a problem or take any responsibility or accountability and it’s exhausting! My family member now lives with my husband and I and it’s hard but I’m learning that I can’t change nor help them and they blame me because I don’t want this dark energy in our house. But I’m learning to find my inner peace again and backing up despite countless efforts and offers of help to them in every way.
I'm an aba tech. These techniques are used for all behaviors. Ive always said this would work great for prisons but never thought about the addicted. Genius!!!!!
I love this, I'm an alcoholic with a supporter family x
Thanks Elle. I'm so glad this was helpful 😁
I have to watch this video every Thursday, thats when he takes off for the weekend to drink over at his " best friends " , ... it really helps to watch this and center the front of my Brain 🧠 and not ruin all the good progress of the week . Thank you 🙏🏼 Amber
Love that!
As well as MI I have found Marshall Rosenburg's non violent communication really helpful
Love your videos, they have been a life saver for me. Have really helped me see straight, and face the road ahead.
Thanks Laurie! I'm so glad these videos are helpful 😃
We have a son who has been an addict for 20 years. I’ve never felt comfortable with the tough love method of dealing with it. My husband was good at the tough part and I was good at the love. We have argued over ways we deal with our addict for years. I’m so happy to hear ways that make sense to me. We’ve done the contract, we’ve kicked him out many times. None of it has worked! My husband finally started to soften his heart and hold his tongue and we’re seeing progress. I’m not saying I’ve done things perfectly but we’re finally getting on the same page. It’s a good start, thank you for these videos.
Hi can I ask does he still live with you? If not how did he afford to move out, get a place of his own etc ..
VERY HELPFUL information.
That's great. So glad it was helpful.
I wish I heard this 6 years ago. I did everything wrong.
Priceless information, wow !
Wow! Thank you. This video I felt like pulled all your advice together in one video. This really resonated work me.
Thanks Adrienne, You're right, this video is sort of an overview video.
That's a great quote!
This is so important. I agree 120 percent.
I am a therapist and have just completed the CRAFT Training. Such a great alternative to 'tough love' and intervention. 😊Looking forward to helping my clients with the method.
That's fantastic. We need more people helping families using this method. So glad to have you as a fellow solider fighting addiction! 🪖🪖🪖
@@PutTheShovelDown thanks Amber. Watching your channel helped me to track down the training. My son is in a sober living accommodation since I started to use the approach. Such a blessing in my life, thank you for all that you do for those affected by addictions . You are a true hero x 💪👌😍
Thank you so much for your videos
Thank you Amber, much appreciated.
God bless you.
You are so welcome
Thanks again, Amber for another great video! It doesn’t even have to be new information. We (loved ones) just need to keep being reminded of what works. And thank you for acknowledging our “urge” to nag, scold, be angry, etc. It helps so much to have you validate our emotions, but then also redirect us so as not to react emotionally. Your videos always encourage me to do differently next time, like a coach giving a pep talk. 🏀
I just realized the reason I think I’ve struggled with the craft method or the word “strategic” is because I’ve falsely viewed it as being manipulative, y’know, like sneaking in through the back door instead of coming straight in through the front door. Or playing the puppeteer and pulling the addict’s strings to get them to do the right thing. This video helped me understand motivating someone is different than manipulating someone. I think you’ve talked about that before in a video, maybe. Anyways, need to change how I’ve understood that.
Thanks Theresa! I can see why the word strategic could come across as manipulative. Maybe I should start staying “intentional decisions”, vs strategic.
"strategic" in terms of being intentional and deliberate - choosing the best most helpful productive response to the situation - vs being knee jerk reactionary, unintentional, accidental, etc.
The difference from working out of our emotional, fight freeze or flight limbic primitive brain versus our logical prefrontal cortex part of our brain.
I can see how the term "strategic" could've turned someone off from hearing it the right way. Cuz yeah, in this context it's not manipulative at all, just the opposite in fact.
Well I have an adult son I’ve tried putting it into action and think it might be working. He set up rehab on his own, got the insurance set up and then we took him. I am the one mainly applying, my husband is a growl back type. Anyway I had also been trying it with a sibling that is very toxic but eventually had to walk away after they threatened my other sibling & me physically. So I count my son as an ongoing work that shows good results. Thank you for all the info.
Thank you!
Thank you,Thank you, I have been surving around trying to find someone who thinks the way you do! I really have no clue truly....But I do no one thing we need to start with our future children.,.we have some mother's in the places no one wants to go that want to get out.....but if not get out learn positive ways for there child an others children when there around give them some kind positive food for thought to take home....the more mother's an father's you can get on ur side in those areas then they can teach it on an on...if you do it right unless there willing to learn a different a proach then that's great...other wise ur there to b a kind friend just stopping by....so ur just there to give them some friendly,positive way to give adults. That kind positive advice to pass along (advice,teach) no one wants to be an addict! Hard oh yeah...cuz you've got our future some not all...at a very young age it's there duties at an B4 even a teen. That if anyone disrespect shoot to kill...or these little ones that r proud they finally get to do this horrible crime,..there not thinking the hurt ect. There thinking great I have a family now that's goi g to have my back all I have to do is hurt someone,sell drugs so I can help put food on the table ect. Sounds crazy but true. I was watching homeless children couple of them sounded how adults sound I hate getting rite ups. The people at the front desk ect. I never stayed in shelter cple x was all it took for me. Alot of them come from where we come from so it almost or is just as if we were outside cuz just bout all the workers or going to yell give u the look now u no how the addicts going to react back outside,. With kids u have roll with cuz u go outside an then u could get ur kids taken the worker no u no that...or the worker used to be road dogs with a few an so on. Of course u want workers that have been there done that....but if they haven't been taught the positive way then there's going to be Lot of no one going to get any kind of help so now from the babies out there the process begins, in the shelters the person at the top better b that kind ❤️ so the rest of the crew can follow I can go into a business, well a hospital I can almost everytime no what kind of leadership they have by the way they are tx people...it's a start from the bottom an the top....get those teachers,leadership for the ones u never c that's out there 😸 but hey I was out there for a very,very long time only been out bout 3 mos so I'm sure none of this makes any sense...would imagine I'm a pretty sick person...takes some of us longer than others.lol I haven't really gotten off the couch which I better get off or I'll or might b rite back out there....am I thankful for my brother the only one I have that cares for giving me another chance YES I'm doing this for myself an my best friend R.I.P. 3MOS 14th,. We told each other what we wanted in case one of us was to pass...so here I am thinking bout fentynal all the time...I no call me crazy if I go out there I no I won't back....but u c I no my Jesus B4 I went out there an yes Jesus thank,you so much for standing by me an keeping us safe I got out there kinda late stayed with no breaks from there's no end to a days end... I'm a sr. As my friend would say it takes to of us to make one...we got this he'd say don't worry babe neither one of us thought we'd make it without thee other but there's a few issues he always wanted out there that I like to carrion an make maybe a small if not big...change an lady I know u will I've only heard few mins lol remember tho I'm sure I'm pretty missed up if u weren't B4 u went out there u will b when u get out trust me a little mental....my mind is getting a tad bit clearer...God Bless now I say to my dear friend don't worry babe u were right I just might b stronger than I thought...I got this✌️💝🙏 if u only have time to tell our Jesus good morning an goodnite that's ok!!!!😸🙏
You're welcome welcome, Loretta! I'm glad this video was helpful 😃
I just want to say that you've helped me through your videos. In such a way, you have no idea. I wanted to thank you for that. Because I was feeling all kinds of stuck with my alcoholic mother. That does not think she has a problem. Well, she knows she does, but she chooses not to change it. But you've helped me and I am so grateful.
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for watching!
i love this. Thank you
My pleasure, Julie!
You are accurate Thank you you are helping me
Happy to help 💖
My dad & I's relationship is already mending. Thank you so much for your videos. I love CRAFT! So much better than Alanon, in my opinion !
Thanks Drina! I'm so happy that things are turning around for you and your dad!
@@PutTheShovelDown regardless that I'm in recovery & he's not. I knew badgering does NOT help but I didn't know what else to do. Until I found craft & found your videos. So thank you!
You are soooo good addicts get a real um sense of People they'll know if u really have a kind 💝🙏
Thank you Loretta!
This was a bit weird. Most of it focused on assuming that loved ones get mad at an addict, when in reality it’s more often the opposite, we can’t help enabling the behaviour because we know it’s a disease and get too supportive trying to keep them alive.
Thank you again, You’re beautiful person ,giving me options to understand better how to have communication with my daughter who doesn’t want to talk about it.
How can I approach the situation? She gets upset , very easy.🕊🙏🏼
Don't try to approach the situation until you've rebuilt a positive relationship. See if you can build common ground on other things first.
I have exhausted my empathy. I've heard that I'm the best girlfriend ever. I've heard that he's gonna change. I feel like my emotional support is just being used like a substitute for his addiction. I've told him not to come back now, but my heart is painfully cramping.
I currently feel this. I wonder how you are doing ❤️🩹
@@veeroseerum I'm doing great actually! I've taken my driver's license, I've undergone vocational training and am now working my dream job as a gardener. I'm planning on going back to uni this fall and get my bachelors as well. It's amazing how much energy you have when you don't have to worry all the time! Hang in there and I hope you will feel the same as I do in a year and two!
I went through all of what you coveted. After 3 years, I bought a plane ticket to fly out to California to support my daughter going into residential housing from the hospital. Using empathy and compassion. 2 days before I went, she left and decided to do drugs. She is going to decide to quit to work.
Maybe she’s gonna be ok
I’m doing it differently this time with a program maybe I’ll be ok too…sending kindness and peace.
I just came home today and my husband admitted to drinking two today, he just got home from rehab a week ago. I carried all the bills and everything and now this, I asked why? And now I'm in my car crying, I'm so sick of this
I'm hearing ya!
My husband is the same way. The odds are against us. Addicts rarely change and almost never want to.
this video really helps me because I'm always screaming at my husband when he doesn't I'm going to be the better person and learn to walk away and not scream anymore Adam if he wants to take away to the joint he's just running his brain cells I told him but I'm not going to scream no more I'm going to be a better Christian and a better role model to him and encourage him that marijuana is bad
Ur channel really helped me a lot... Thanks
Most welcome 😊
THANK GOD FOR YOUR HELP!!!!
I am re-watching this one and I have been watching your videos ever since I got back in contact with someone I have been involved with off and on for over 7yrs now (I left for over 2yrs this last time).
I am using this craft method just in this last week after 4 days of argueing thru text over stupid imaginary things that I think in my head and I realize this now!
I started using the craft method and in one day, it changed EVERYTHING! I let down my walls some and he ended up letting down his. I even got something that I never saw coming...the TRUST being built back which I NEVER thought would happen! I also am CALMING DOWN my emotional side of this! I realized I always think the worst with him and it's not always the case. I am keeping my boundaries but allowing the fun and good times to exist as much as they can. He REALLY is attracted not only physically to me, but my positive side and the POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT! I think that he is in end stage addiction, I can tell he's basically getting finally bored and tired of it, hopefully I can be here now for this because I have a nasty habit of quitting on him, he points it out a lot! My biggest issue is his non-commitment to me but he does realize that as a man, he's not ready so it's all been difficult for me to stay, but I am going to try my hardest because he genuinly does care for me and is struggling with this awful addiction (meth). I almost believe that God led me here to your vidoes...IT'S WORKING MIRACLES!!!!
With my wife I find that positive reinforcement works the opposite when I do positive reinforcement she finds a way to celebrate that with alcohol.
Hello, I've been watching your videos for a while. I'm referring to my past. I left my abusive alcoholic ex-husband 33 years ago. I ran away from Europe to US to run away from him, his abuse and my love for him. We had a very good relationship since I was 14. We married when I was 22. We were always open, truthful and communicative. My ex started drinking after he started working. One thing I could never do is to be intimate with him when he was drunk. I adored him when he was sober, always. That was a consequence not a punishment, however, it put more distance between us. He was drinking daily, beginning for intimacy but I found him disgusting. We grew apart further and further. What would you suggest regarding this issue?
my husband talks constantly on it and he's always chasing mosquitoes some of the stuff he does is pretty hilarious but when he sits there and talks fox fox fox stalks because he's bipolarI just get fed up and ice cream but thank you for the video I'm not going to scream I'm going to be the better grown up and not do any type of drugs
Why is it all about them??? It's like Ive been enslaved by ny addict husband! It's about him how to help him and I totally under stress all the time! I just wanna A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP..I want someone to take care of my feelings and emitions
You can try to leave
That’s how I feel. It’s always all about them and supporting them and being there for them and not hurting them. It’s never about the people they are hurting.
Al-anon
What doesn't work: punishment, yelling, nagging, begging, preaching, threatening, bargaining, attempting to control, creating home contract, ultimatums, arguing. Addiction will break any rule, won't stop addiction.
Formula that does work:
1. real world consequences. What happens naturally to the person because of their behavior/messes (not what you're going to do to them aka punishment).
2. You have healthy boundaries for yourself
3. empathy
Motivational interviewing: find the seeds of what's important to the addict, their positive intention and motivations that they may be out of touch with. It's like assuming they have positive assumptions and acknowledging them.
Positvely reinforce people for making good choices, don't argue with people.
*WATCH THE VIDEO too!* Super valuable.
Fantastic summary, PixieRose! 🤩🤩🤩🤩 Spot on!
How should you react? I have had times my partner had passed out caring for our baby, left oven on in the night, gotten drunk when our daughter was very unwell and in hospital. I know how I react don’t help but I can’t ignore. I also now don’t leave daughter with him and sure he sees as a punishment but for her safety I must
First off , allow me to thank you so much for this very beneficial channel !
I wanna take advice from a woman, not just those enthusiastic 27 year old men , no disrespect intended -( no doubt great guys)
But, anyhow-
Am struggling with staying away from those so delicious IPA brews whose first gulp remove all muscular arthritic strife; am about six weeks in but it has not gotten easy yet .
Wondering what snacks or gambits I might consider-
Any ideas would be so appreciated!!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Hi Trish, Here's a link to my FREE 30 Day Jump start program. It's little "snack" sized video messges that come to your inbox for 30 days. www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/30-day-jump-start
Its been 12 years and he has had zero natural consequences (outside our relationship). Never been busted with it, he has kept his job. He is convinced it will never get out of control. And my hard boundry is trust. How do you reinforce positive behavior when there really isn't any? He's blank, empty, and stone now. He wants me, and this life, but wants his cake and eat it too. I'm losing my mind. He thinks I'm using sex as punishment but I can't FEEL intimacy where there is none. And then that triggers him when I express it. Please help. Anyone.... please
I totally understand you. I'm going thru the same. We've been married for 20 years, he has been an addict for 10 years but the last 2 years have been the worst. When he is not using, he is a loving and caring husband, but when he is using, he is distant and won't talk to me at all. I feel like I live by myself, because he is so distant. I love him but I sometimes I'm so mad at him that I don't even want to see him. It's a never ending cycle. 😔
Gave all the empathy, extended love, generosity, care, concern and got the alcoholic to admit a need for help but what do I get they booze again, lie, cheat put herself in danger of being raped and a target for a man to take advantage of her she didn't change a thing. Now it's back to her addiction of alcohol and she has not appreciated one thing I have ever done but now verbally, emotionally and mentally abuses me and I am no longer interested in being friends with her, I am gone and giving my best to others, she is on a path of destruction.
It's always just been my son and myself. My son is 28 and is an addict. He has been to rehab 6 times and has only stayed for 2 weeks then leaves then the process starts over. He doesn't live with me. We used to be close, but ever since his addiction, we don't get along and we end up hating each other for about 2 weeks. I don't know what to do. I'm so lost because I can't help him and I can't make him want to get help.
What about the thc smoker who will go manic and then into psychosis? Cannabis due to psychosis. My oldest son had this happen 3xs. Last time lasted months before medication brought him out. It scared him so bad-he stopped. My youngest son has been in psychosis 2xs. And just found out last week he’s smoking again… Being around them in psychosis is exhausting and scary..,
Marijuana causes psychosis and anxiety disorders in chronic users. It also alters the immune system and makes the stomach weak. Pot smokers don’t want to hear any of that though.
How do you be empathetic and understanding when they won’t let go of the past words that have been said. Every time.
Questions- my partner is a high functioning, binge drinker…. well in the military it was binge and also drinking almost daily. He “stoped” drinking now that he’s back home, but when he “messed up” a couple weeks ago we don’t sleep on the same bed. I can’t be intimate with someone who hurts me. I think he subconsciously takes this as a punishment, and it has contributed to him having a wall up. How do I deal with this?
Also, could you make a video of stages of alcohol abuse symptoms. He had internal bleeding (there was blood in his stool), when he stopped drinking the bleeding stopped.
He has a serious problem with a bloody stool.
I have an alcoholic brother who is now in stage 3. He is dishonest, rude, a hoarder and dealing with him even provoked a manic attack as I am Bipolar.
What are the statistics of us staying clean til we die ? I have heard that only 4% of us make it
I also think a home contract is somewhat shaming and takes dignity away two things that I believe can cause and fuel addiction
How do you help them at all when they are paranoid, delusional and hallucinating and don't want anything to do with you anymore except to call you a liar make accusations and say you are trying to hurt them.
Great videos but you should reach out to RUclips about the ads they put on your videos, they are putting up cannabis promotion
What about those long term addicts that develop neurological disorders as a barrier to any of this and you are caregiving for them, but the medical care team offers them substance use counseling or therapy and they decline? Additionally, he lives in a dry home(mine) and it’s been 4 years sort of forced sobriety? Will this be considered late stage addiction and early stage dementia which means no recovery ever?
Does tapering really work with drinking? Is it possible for someone to get better at home?
An addict is normal.. we just have a disease we need to care for everyday for the rest of our lives
It’s sad, I do all the right things according to this, and it’s never helped as far as him stopping.
It says the meanest things too- best to stay away.
If my husband wants help but he is not local who can i get him in touch with for recovery? Where does he start? Also, do you think it would be better to spend time apart to care for young children while he recovers or can that make it worse to remove the children and wife from his recovery stage temporarily if he is willing to get help?
What is the name of a good long term rehab center for alcohol and drug abuse in the state of Wisconsin? Someone I want to guide has no job or health insurance. How can I hear back from you?
What do you do when setting boundries is called arguing by them ?
Hi Tina, I'm not sure if you've seen this one but I thought it might be helpful. It's about boundary keeping: ruclips.net/video/Eas7kYjIgy4/видео.html
What is the best way to check a teen for alchol use?
My 42 year old son is going to treatment because it is court ordered for breaking probation. He is in jail waiting for an opening. If given a choice he would not go. He has been to treatments as a kid and he said treatment never works. I don’t know how to be encouraging without starting an argument. What should I do?
What to do when spouse say all time i cannot do this anymore drugs are bad for me i want to change i want to go to the clinic and when come the moment to do that he is making all time excuses i have forget that and i have to do that and he come all time later.
I like your videos but I have to ask you know but going to school learning or by first-hand experience or just doing research? And if it's first-hand experience how much time do you have if you don't mind me
i am agoraphobic in a relationship with an addict, so much of my anger at them is literal projection because agoraphobia is the same sort of brain disease. it literally makes me see red that i have to fix myself without their support before i can help them. why does no one ever do this for me?
The real problem is financially how it effects the family. One can't set boundaries necessary if they don't have the financial resources to approach the problem. In the beginning, an addict can be contributing to a family's financial condition. IE Government subsidies, working addict, What's the familly way out financially for a family who have an addict in their family. What's your solution?
In and out of jail and prison is a big consequence but not for him it doesn’t faze him. What in the world will?
In the same way that you do the behavior, don’t do the behavior. The key is that you want to stop doing the behavior. Mind over matter.
I Learned to let go and and let God 😉😊 ....No one can impose anyone to stop drinking.
Im a parent of an adult child with drug and alcohole problems
Me too and we are having a terrible time trying to help without enabling. She and our grandson lived with us for 9 months and it seemed like whenever we praised her it was almost like she was afraid of the success and sabotaged herself. Her being here effected our health and stress levels. Her choices suddenly became our obligations. I would much rather have her deal with her own consequences but we worry for our grandson. That keeps us as prisoners. She’s just counting the day for us to be gone and she can get whatever inheritance is coming. Thankfully she’s no longer here but what happens when she can’t stay in the place she is now.
@@jenniferlefever3163 put the inheritance in a trust for the grandchildren. She won’t be able to touch it. Find a great trust attorney.
She doesn't let either one of us speak. Two words out and it's interrupted. It is impossible to communicate with her. It's like the only option as to watch the world destroy her so that she will learn her lesson not from us but from reality itself. You can't persuade reality to cower in the face of persistence stupidity. But we can't keep on doing those forever.
We had to kick hom out tonight because he tried to steal money and then he wouldnt apologize and stole something else. So he got yhe real world consequence, he kept raising his voice and yelling. Chaos. Had to stop. God help me this is so hard. 😭 I just want him to want to change. I dont want him to think I hate him. 😔 I love him so much. I had no choice but to make him leave. He kept pushing boundaries.
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what can you do when the acholic is very mean when they're drinking it's hard to have empathy when they yell tell you the meanest things they can think of and this happens every nights
Leave?
I am looking for ways to help a family member who drinks everyday....it makes me feel sad and helpless seeing the person drink their meals....and just disappear....slowly.......people who drink dont believe that they have a problem .....so getting them to agree to go into treatment is not going to happen....dealing with them is very difficult....they have a "Dr.Jeckly & Mr. Hyde" personality.....meaning they are nice , agreeable one minute.....the next they are argumentative, disagreeable....accusatory...or just flat out lie.....on any given day.....
I'm so frustrated listening to this!. tired of walking on egg shells, it's already Super Unfair to have to deal with all the excuses...
Real life consequences have not helped my alcoholic husband one bit. He lost his drivers license, he paid thousands of dollars to lawyers and fines, and has even accidently stabbed his own hand. I am at a loss and feeling lost and helpless.
Can you put them out?
hey
I feel like I have just become ambivalent well using the interventions and it seems to have taken the pressure off of him so he seems to think I care
* i don’t care if he is using
Are you balancing the positive techniques with good healthy boundaries?
Sounds like Alanon
My 44 yr old daughter started punching me so I ended up calling the police.
She was arrested. Now she hates me with a passion. She moved in with someone who supplies her with alcohol and totally supports her because she cannot hold down a job.
She wants nothing to do with me. She drinks over a fifth of vodka a day and her health is going quickly down hill. I love her with all my heart I am very worried about her. Is there anything I can do to help her?
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My girlfriend has had the change talk for months now. What are ways to help push or better yet motivate them to change?
Not too long ago, I made a little cheat sheet called "Say this, Not that". Here's a link where you can download it: www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/say-this-not-that
@@PutTheShovelDown thank you!
Maybe stop subscribing to hypocrites like Pearl and things can change.
also how come you are against narcs then are conservative??
I have seen my LO pass drug tests that children services say are rock solid, when I know she is still using/ abusing Perscription or street drugs. I come from a construction safety background and I hear all the time how workers can cheat and pass drug tests. The passing of the drug tests in my situation will allow her access to caring for her infant daughter which has put baby in danger in the past, where can I find supporting documentation that passing drug tests Can be done while still using? This is not for the purpose of Catching her but to keep baby safely out of danger, until she gets treatment. We are all using the craft method, but the danger is real and decisions on baby safety are on the table, the law here in Canada is that a newborn cannot stay in foster care forever ( under age of two) and a permanent placement that is safe is required, I wish she could maintain sobriety, but time is not on our side, after 7 months she is still in denial and a real stubborn case of use. She is on subloxone, but has misused Perscription and street drugs on it. Any info on this drug passing business? Children services seems blind to it, but I have seen her artfully pass and then use again
Perhaps request hair follicle drug screens.
do you ever do trainings for companies or you just on RUclips how would I be able to get a hold of you if I was strongly interested in learning more but having a live video with you I work at a nonprofit and I am looking to open a nonprofit in the next few years and I'm trying to learn as much as I can and I'm curious if you would be willing or interested in being a part of I'm in Medford Oregon
The home contract feels controllimg as opposed to a bpumdary to me
It's an ultimo which will piss people off.