I think we tend to take the positions where we need to pass the most judgements, and the judges are judged the most out of anybody. Plus we are most likely to think of MBTI as poppycock.
I mean there's negative stereotypes about every type, but ESTJ, ENTP, and INTJ get called narcissistic or evil because someone had a bad experience with someone who was supposedly one of those personalities lol.
@@sarahberkner INTJ and ENTP's evil narcissistic stereotypes are much more on the cooler side (since people consider edginess cool and also because of intuitive bias). While ESTJ stereotypes are born out of pure hatred. I believe whenever people find a healthy ESTJ, they type them as ENTJ (despite the person having Ne).
you guys have a moral compass. there's harsh honesty in what you say, but it's in nothing but good faith, a way to motivate others to improve themselves. while it might not work for everyone, your intentions are good. sometimes we need a push forward in the right direction, and that's where you shine the brightest. as an INFP, i have to say that's pretty dang cool.
@@nothingspecial163 I watched my son for the first eight years of his life. So his mother and his father could work and party. I was the responsible one. There came a point I had to return him. I walked to the front door.. I could smell the pot and see transient people coming and going and a table of booze in the background with loud music going and a very drunk and stoned mother and father. ( I don't do any of that.. FYI.. I saw the demise of them due to it ). So I opened my mouth and upon passing over my nephew (while he was still a toddler) saying "you are horrible parents! This environment is NOT good for a child! But he is your child so I have no choice." I walked away and said nothing. From that day on.. I was treated so poorly by my family by showing the TRUTH of a situation! Oh, this was 20 years ago. I know the truth.. and it is semi sweet.
Part of the reason ESTJs are negatively stereotyped is that when you don't fit the stereotype they tell you you're not an ESTJ. Extraverted thinkers can use that Te to think about relationships, emotions, their own weaknesses and blind spots etc.
Thanks! As an ESTJ married to an INFP for many years I appreciate this! I like to think we were together I am a high functioning ESTJ who has worked on themself from a young age.
My brother is an ESTJ, and he is more passionate and laid back than you might expect from a dominant TE user, but he's one all the same. He has a vision of how to use time effectively and efficiently.
Thank you so much for this video. As an ESTJ I feel highly misrepresented by the community. It feels amazing when people actually see the depth of the personality types. I am tired of the ESTJ stereotypes. It is ironic how people call ESTJs meanies while being lowkey mean themselves to ESTJs. It is infuriating when people base off all ESTJs based on their experience with one or a few ESTJs. People generalize ESTJs way too much and I understand one might have had an awful experience with a person of a certain personality type but that is not an excuse to be saying rather hurtful things about anyone. I appreciate all of your videos a lot.
I agree that ESTJ’s are often misrepresented. My ESTJ husband is so thoughtful and puts my needs before his own. He strives to help others. I am a very lucky INTJ.
I am an INFP who gets really defensive of ESTJs because I have a very balanced one as my mom. I was brought up by Te-doms (ENTJ dad, and her) so I actually get along with them better than some other types…the ones that run with a lot of Fe and aren’t healthy are the ones I have problems with to this day because I had only one positive Fe-dom role model growing up (my grandma, and we didn’t live in the same house). You can imagine how totally opposite my values and the communication style I was brought up with are to “evil Fe.”
@@nerysghemor5781 I am glad you seem to have good enough experience with an estj. I often wonder if the community would still react the same way if the tables were turned and there were estjs generalizing other types because of a few bad experiences they had with these types. I have had very bad experiences with certain personality types consistently but I cannot let that be the judging factor for all the people of those personality types. People often say estjs are "my way or the highway" Kind of people but how I see it is that they are rather the "most effective and efficient way" Kind of people. Many a times people seem to type all toxic people as estjs because they are bossy, arrogant, etc. Any type can be toxic. Estjs are just assertive and give criticism up front. There might be better ways of putting this criticism and I am sure every healthy Estj would make an effort to do so but we must not forget everyone is flawed.
@@balter7728 I've actually gotten along pretty well with most of the Te-doms I meet IRL, because...honestly, it's what I know best. One thing I emphasize to Te-doms who might be trying to be more balanced is that there is a massive difference between tact and lying. And Fi-doms despise lies every bit as much as you guys do. The difference is that tact is about putting the truth in a way that shows people you respect them and their feelings...that you're commenting about an action or a statement and not about who they are as a person. Tact does NOT mean telling someone a lie. Honestly, in my own experience I've found "evil Fe" to be a LOT more subject to lying, manipulating, and/or going back on one's word than Te-Fi, and it's a thing that can be extremely irritating to me.
This is very true!! I’m an INFP with an ESTJ mom, and just last night we were texting back and forth where I had a scientific idea and was talking about all the good it could do, and she immediately spotted how it could be big business too. My mom is definitely a GREAT example of a healthy ESTJ and the stereotypes really shocked me when I first saw them. In fact, when I told her, the first thing she said was, “I would NEVER be so rude!” Also, while I run with Ne all the time as an INFP, hers will show up unexpectedly and with a lot more comedic timing than you might think, to catch me with a joke or a hilarious GIF or pun. And it really is similar humor to my own! Also, I find that while both ESTJs and ENTJs have inferior Fi, ESTJs are less likely to be in outright denial about their emotions and more in balance that way.
When i for the first time came to the informational field of MBTI (after discovering socionics) i was unpleasantly surprised by the tendency of how people literally spit on ESTJ with poison, accusing them in all the negatives qualities that can ever exist. Most of all they are accused of being conservative, dogmatic, rude, cold and humorless. And as an ENFP whose best friend turned out to be an ESTJ i can tell that this is the silliest and the simplest stereotype which requires no thinking and just makes people to type all the rude people they don't like as ESTJ. ESTJs DO care about other people a lot, they just can't stand laziness and careless attitude to the things that you are in charge of. They love to joke and play with words, discover new things and talk about feelings. Being practical and tending to solve problems (and the problems of other people as well, even if they are not asked to) does not make ESTJs super conservative, dry and heartless.
@@nerysghemor5781 Yep) My friend actually laughs and jokes far more than i do. When we are together he looks more like the easygoing one and i look like the guy who takes everything too seriously (probably enneagram type plays its role, 3w2 ENFP and 7w6 ESTJ don't meet the stereotypical image of the types.)
I 100% agree. I’m an INFP and I LOVE when my ESTJ sister gives me unsolicited advice. She’s a very fun person too. Actually, as an INFP I’m fairly used to being either misunderstood or dismissed, especially my ambitions. But even though our goals are almost entirely opposite, she can step right into my shoes and support me. I try to do the same for her, but I admit it is hard lol. She likes the noise of the big city and it is incomprehensible to me 😂
This sounds so much like my brother, he has been adored by every woman in his life. He is such an affable person, he also takes care of everyone. He doesn't always get the credit he deserves for it. He loves to make all things as efficient as possible for as many people as he can.
there's something mysterious about ESTJs. not a bad mysterious, but rather enigmatic. being an INFP myself, i find ESTJs so fascinating. they use functions that i struggle with, and it's admirable to see them use those functions so easily. honestly, i used to think that my type was the buttmonkey for comic relief, but ESTJs... god, at least we're stereotyped in multiple different ways, whether good or bad. i can't say the same for either ESTJs. i feel like we just all somehow came to the decision that they are scary and mean and lack souls. that's not fair. without them, we'd all be absolutely doomed. sure, they can be pushy, but it really feels like they have good intentions behind it. there's a sense of morality and there's a spectrum to them too, even if they tend to think in black and white. but that doesn't mean they can't comprehend a morally gray situation when shown, and how they respond to it is based on their character as a whole. just like the rest of us. a quick example: my uncle is an ESTJ. my father (may his memory be a blessing) - his baby brother - was an INFP like myself. because of that, he knew how to handle me and my blind spots. i remember visiting once, and i was too shy to open my mouth. on the way back to the airport, i said something to my brother and he said "finally you talk!" at first i was mortified, but after stewing over it, i decided to not only prove my uncle wrong, but to prove _myself_ wrong as well. it incentivized me to stop hiding myself and come back to visit as a stronger person than i was before. i dyed my hair blue, something i wanted to do for years. i started wearing clothing that accentuated my body. and when i showed up two years later for thanksgiving, i took a deep breath to prepare myself. i felt a sense of nervousness because i was worried my appearance would backfire, but the second he opened the door, he told me i looked amazing. i survived the small talk, and once my older cousin (he's always been gentle and someone i clung to) showed up, i was talking like a human being. i actually talked. i made people laugh. and i learned that i love being around people, even if i tire out quickly. i couldn't have done it without my uncle. he pushed me when i needed it most. and all of it was in good faith. it made me understand why my father admired him so much. so i just want ESTJs to know... you guys are the backbone of society. what would life be like without you? and what would i, your opposite type, be like without you? the answer is simple: i'd be _miserable._ thank you for pushing us to do our best.
My younger sister is an ESTJ and I could only wish to be as consistent with work like her. She's hardly what stereotypes portray her type to be. She's actually very entertaining to talk to, is a good listener to me, and I can 100% rely on her to get stuff done, its crazy how dependable she can be in certain matters. I never ever trash-talked ESTJ's and their portrayal in the community always baffled me. Thank you so so much ESTJ's for all your hardwork, attention and care. - an INFJ admirer
The ESTJs I know have a good heart, are staunchly loyal, caring, practical, helpful (when they have or can make the time), hard-working and responsible, vulnerable emotionally, intelligent but opinionated so not always open-minded, respectful even when they don’t understand other people’s position, appreciative of kindnesses done to them, fit, not-so-detail-focused, conscientious, moral, have a good sense-of-humor, generous and thoughtful toward loved ones, and certainly not lazy or minimalistic. Other stuff too but that’s good for now. I love them.
Thank you very much for this video! I am an estj freelancer, where my job is to balance creativity and productivity. I'm so tired of the stereotypes that they only see us working in a company bossing people around or as a military leader lol
My ESTJ grandma was very creative and highly respected dance teacher. I think her strictness and creativity melded well in that profession although she did say that she hated the hecticness of it all. I agree with what you said. As an INTP, she is a conundrum for me. She's stonefaced and very strict all the time but easily moved and cries for other people's plight. Our dog got sick and while I was busy checking out his symptoms and solutions, she was crying by his side and comforting him. (I was horrified lmao. I wasn't used to seeing that or on any people for that matter. I just made jokes to lighten the situation. Dark jokes 💀) I used to wonder which is the "fake" side but I realized that there's none. They're both part of her. It's amazing to observe her and I love making her laugh. It feels like the best achievement to make someone usually stern burst out laughing.
Well, most of the time ESTJs pave the path Many people seems to have a lot of negative things to say while they are walking on an efficient path made by ESTJs
as someone who's had rather negative interactions with estjs in the past, this really helps me understand and empathize with them more! hope i can learn to how to better interact with that one estj peer i have,, thanks for this nathan :>
Im an ESTJ and proud of it. Im proud of my staff and I encourage them to take initiative on how to do our work more efficiently. We modify, re evaluate, and adapt. I advice my staff how to maximize their earnings. I also ensure fairness at work. I will not hold their hand and cry with them, but I make sure that everyone have a good working environment and that they maximize their potential.
Personality Typing videos as therapy! I just remembered that, when I was kid and not yet fully broken (for a wonder), I used to have this wonderful idea that if people would just do their work when they knew it had fallen upon them to do it, then there would be less work, less yelling and less other inconveniences. Because, we carried in water or chopped ice and either way, heated it up on a wood stove. And, if dishes were allowed to sit for several days before washing, they were harder to clean, as were the areas they sat on during that time, which meant more water needed, which meant more time fiddling with heating up water. But, also, there was the "Well, I need the knife! Go at least clean the .... knife. Also, a plate for each person." in-between rounds of washing dishes. Sometimes people in my family didn't wash dishes for weeks or months. I was always having to help, until I got to be about 4 year of age and then I had to take my turn in the line up of dishwashing siblings. People were always yelling at other people not to wait so long to wash dishes. So, my sister finished washing dishes one day and then we had dinner, breakfast and lunch and I set out to wash dishes after the next dinner was over, when the pans were still warm and the grease would be easy to get rid of. But, I was yelled at so hard and forced to wait for over a week and then yelled at for taking too long. They told me I was just trying to get away without washing my fair share of the dishes and then me waiting proved how lazy I was. (sigh) And, no one wanted to listen to the idea that if everyone washed dishes as soon as possible after it became their turn, there would be less work, mess and strife. It was the first remembered of many fine ideas I had to make things better, which were shot down in flames. But, then, that means that's a part of who I really am, despite that I have trouble engaging in work now while being driven insane by family. Getting things done. I always forget in the madness and oppression, but getting things done is so important to everything I want to be about.
My first girlfriend was an ESTJ. She simultaneously defied the stereotype while still having her functions be obvious. She wasn’t controlling, pushy, stubborn, traditional (like in any way), or unimaginative. She definitely loved being helpful, more than a lot of people I know, and enjoyed spending time with whoever she could. She was so chill most of the time I initially thought she was an ESFP, but I could tell she was an ESTJ though because her extroversion was rough and insensitive in that obvious inferior Fi way, she was prone to losing her cool on friends and boyfriends who she thought couldn’t handle her honesty or jokes sometimes, and whenever she was bored and alone she would obsessively organize and reorganize her stuff down to the little hair beads in her bathroom. Her help also often extended to trying to tell her friends very bluntly what they SHOULD do to solve their problems and getting annoyed when they persisted in being irrational. She was a calm and friendly person, just too blunt
@@lbell9695 Unlike in fiction, real life ESTJs are hard to differentiate from ESFPs. You just gotta look for that inferior Fi. Both love fun, but ESFPs are smoother with people than ESTJs are
@@SangreFriasBack I was thinking that the glimpses of Te I saw was because ESFP's have Te in their tertiary function. He's disciplined and is obsessed with making sure everything is clean and organised but I thought it just could have been his family raising him that way. He has a really good read on others, and a way with people so I thought he was bound to be an F type, and a sense of impulsivity that made me think EXXP, but now I can see him being an ESTJ :)
@@lbell9695 To give an example that might be more helpful, I originally thought Michael De Santa from GTA V was an ESFP. He’s impulsive, addicted to chaos, good in hectic environments, and somewhat hedonistic, and he’s generally friendly and even persuasive when he’s lying. But his Fi is obvious in how bad he is at dealing with his emotions, and his Si in how obsessed he is with his past and how his old life was what made him happy. He’s perpetually dissatisfied. When he’s pulled out of his comfortable life and into Trevor’s trailer, he laments how he misses his family and his mansion and wants to go home. And yet when he was home, he was depressed because he missed his life of crime. And when he was a young criminal, he lamented the loss of his high school football career. Nothing is traditional about Michael. He’s not a normal or even controlling dad, not an up standing member of society or staunch traditionalist so far as we can tell. But his wild life is his tradition. It’s not stereotypical Si, but it’s his Si
Sounds like my mother, who is an ESTJ. When Nathan said “everything ESTJs do is for other people”, it shocked me but it all made sense. My mother would frequently reorganize my room without me asking for it, and ask me to help her with preparing the house for Christmas and other holidays, before I found it annoying, but now I realize it’s out of a desire to help everyone in the family. (The only problem is that since ESTJs often don’t get the credit or help they need from others, they can get burnt out and not even realize it!)
I think how we expressed our devotion and love are usually misenterpreted because us ESTJs are not usually affectionate. I am pragmatic and rational. My siblinsg would always tell me that I might not be the hugs and kisses type of perso but I take care of them. I help them in their schoolwork when they were younger and now, i help in their career and finances. Im not the type to hold their hand but i will take care of them.
I have only come across one ESTJ person (that I am aware of to have Te Si Ne Fi as cognitive functions and in that order). He was a high school classmate of mine. His mind was actually quite ‘chaotic’ and buzzing with ideas. He was an overachiever, goal-oriented, with a plan set in place. We were both class representatives and were able to communicate and function well in that regard. While it is true that our approach differed back then, our motivation and plan/goal-oriented nature overlapped most of the time. We both were the sort of people who say what they think and do what they say. Such reliability was the key to a successful communication. Perhaps cognitive functions aren’t everything. I guess that there are more factors to be considered while talking about personality types and their ability to work together and understand each other.
ESTJs are about 8% of the population, I'm guessing you've met more than one. We're better at short term goals but have more trouble with long-term future goals. And we can be creative but I feel like it's to things we already are competent in. Like, personally I don't have good ideas how to improve something until I'm more familiar with it, I can't usually come up with ideas completely out of thin air, and I'll pay attention to what has worked for other people (without outright copying them).
This explains exactly how I am and how I care for others. Always optimizing systems, spaces, and whatever I can control. Get work done efficiently and on time so we can run around and have fun without a care in the world cuz we handled business and now it’s play time lol
Not only generous and caring to a fault, ESTJs are absolutely some of the sharpest, driest and wittiest people I have ever met, from my own brother to my ex- pre- mother-in-law. Both of these people are extraordinarily intelligent in the IQ sense. I enjoy working with ESTJs because they usually get the job done with minimal bias and hassle and maximum fun (just don't set off a pet peeve). It's not usually worth arguing with them; they always win with an air-tight case that's so exquisitely supported that you forget what you were saying.
Thank you so much day by day i am comprehending myself, I've read so many books but none of them aid in self-development, anyhow, love your Channel, we appreciate the hard work you do, thanks again, maybe consider writing a book.
ESTJs are wicked creative! I had to work hard to convince the ESTJ in my family that no, I don't want an EVEN cheaper phone plan if involves excess haggling with customer service people on the phone: I'm perfectly happy picking up my cell phone minutes at the store like a normal person. She felt rather gutted by my rejection: love on your ESTJs 👩🏭
Lol she sounds like Dave Ramsey (he's a celebrity financial advisor). I'm thrifty and bought my phone used for $40 and have Mint Mobile, however I'm too shy and bad at talking to haggle over prices.
@@sarahberkner Dave Ramsey talks slower than she does, lol! But it's the same perspective & viewpoint; she can be smart when she wants to be. I rarely have the momentum built up (social combustion?) to be ready for any sort of haggling unless it's in person, one-on-one and face-to-face. I guess she doesn't realize I need to feel like I have a pretty good read on the other person but if there's no way to focus my energy specifically then-I-can't-well-whats-the-point--- 🤢😖🤯😵😵💫😹😹😹😄 I think I've heard Dave Ramsey speak on some Christian radio stations; I had to look him up when you mentioned him but I think I have heard him take callers with interesting questions
I think it's because for me whenever I try to search up things about estj (it's just kevin's youtube channel for example) they just sound like not good people who goes against everything that I believe in as an Infp not being empathetic enough, stupidly conservative and over reliant on the past, tried true and tested, overly cold and unemotional who always pokes (micromanages) things which can truly hurt and gets on my nerves, etc so much so that estj & j's in general have become black listed in my mind, the more similar the worst and over coming that bias is tough. So I really appreciate this video and the insight on estj's as I've learned a bit.
I'd recommend the video, "5 ESTJs on Type Talk", it might help to see multiple ESTJs together and realize we are (kind of) normal people. Not all ESTJs are healthy but that goes for any type. You probably have met some ESTJs in real life and don't even know it.
Great video! Because you have an ESTJ mother you can really see how we function in day to day life... Understanding how we tick better then most people! Your personality seems to see us more clearly compared to other types also... Ive been told by my mother ESFJ that I'm selfish as an ESTJ most my life (Fe seems to despise Te) Always found it hilarious coz everything ESTJs do is "others" oriented... our Te never stops problem solving for others, yes even keeping us all night thinking about "your problem" we should solve.
Don't be sad! I appreciate the job my ISTJ dad did raising me. He fits the stereotype to the nines but us generous and is very concerned with doing the right thing and very organized and is retired now but was great at his job. Also ESTJs aren't too bad but we are the scapegoat of MBTI and some people think we're the worst type.
Too bad that ESTJ seems to get bad exposure from the MBTI community most of the time. My brother is an ESTJ and he's actually more sensible and affective than me, an ENTP. He could senses how other people are feeling and act his way to help them, even just in the slightest way. There was a time when my ENFP sister get scolded for not doing her homeworks, my brother take care after her and helps her doing the homeworks while i just...hiding because i giggling so much, sorry! He also an open minded person and didn't like close minded people who refuse to learn more and drowning in their ignorance, which is why he likely to get into an argument or making fun of people on the internet (this is why we get along well! other than memes heh). Although there are times when he got into one of those "evil mode", usually because something is disappointing him and didn't go according to his plans, when it's happened me and my ENFP sister's just like "he's in one of those moods again lol." When he accidentally hurt me or someone else's feelings in those "berzerk mode" he made sure to apologize, if he doesn't realize i talk him down to it and he understands then apologizing to the person
intp and estj relationship bro sounds bad, but its great got one brat with dumb ideas and an occasional good one but throws them all into the trash then another who sorts the trash and puts the good ones to use for you and helps you with that
Or rather, when it's good it's really good, and when it's bad it's really bad. Optimally they can really help each other to realize their best qualities, but they might just drive each other mad as well... - INTP
As an INTP, I just can't get along with ESTJ. We have nothing in common and we see the world in the opposite ways. Yes, they are helpful, my mom is also an ESTJ btw, but that help is almost never asked for and it annoys me that everything must be her way, she simply does not understand that there are other ways than the one she had chosen in her mind. Example: for years she would put a simple clock in my room, even when I left for studies. Whenever I arrived for a visit, the first thing I'd do was to take the batteries off of it, cos the ticking sound drove me mad and I couldn't sleep. Then after I left again, she would put the batteries back in. Years passed, clocks changed, but our silent battle continued... until the day she decided to renovate my old room. What did I see after my arrival, you ask? A huge clock, permanently fixed to the wall, ticking louder than ever, with batteries impossible to get rid off... thus, I lost and gave up. xD Her justification was always the same: - I don't understand how one CAN'T have a clock in the room! - you should be able to just look up and know what time it is right away! She just can't imagine that INTP don't mind being late, we ignore deadlines, chores and we rarely plan ahead. Time doesn't play much of a role in my life in the first place, but for an estj it is unimaginable. Have hundreds stories of our bizzarre interactions.
@@lbell9695 Obviously, but I also have an estj cousin and met other estjs. They are similar in a way. They always tend to impose their strong will on things and people, but I prefer to oppose such force.
I totally understand you, I remember this little clock for a moment in my room, when I was child, I found it funny at first, but quickly became unbearable. I hate heard this sound (Se inferior). I don't have clock, if I want to know the time I have my watch and computers. I am INTJ and my brother is INTP. Concrete planning and clock seems very Si users (1 & 2nd functions). That make sense, last year at temporary job, the people who made planning are ISTJ and ISFJ (Si Dom) Ni plan too, but it's in the mind, and more flexible.
That's hilarious. I'm actually really intrigued by the idea that you have so many more "bizarre" stories about your interactions with your ESTJ mom lol. My aunt is an ESTJ (her name is Sylvia, actually!), so I am very familiar with the type. We all adore her, but her sons have to distance themselves so much from her because the boundaries are just...impossible to maintain. I'm an ENFP, so I also have a very casual relationship with time and my physical surroundings. Drives her nuts. And you don't want that, because then she'll drive *you* nuts. It's a trip, for sure. 😏
As an ENTP who has highly developed Si, sometimes I can see myself as an ESTJ, especially when dealing with important people (i.e friends, family, co-worker). But when I'm in the public domain, my ENTP personality is more dominant.
I think that ENTP / ESTJ is a really common mistype. Usually it’s ESTJs thinking they’re ENTPs because of the biased results of various online tests. It makes sense that a balanced ENTP would resemble an ESTJ! ~ Nathan
The most hated mbti type by a sizeable margin, followed by ESFJ. The ENTJ video of this series has 46k as opposed to this videos 9k. Its obvious people much prefer intuitives.
I'm an ENFP, if I should throw someone off the boat it's likely to be ESTJ but only because I'm close with my dad who is a textbook ESTJ. Though I'm appreciative of his efficiency and 'wanting to help' nature, sometimes it comes off involuntary and causes me discomfort. We often clashes because 'I can't read beyond his actions that his intention is good' but often time it doesn't matter if you have good intentions if you can't communicate it well. Maybe it's also why the type is misrepresented as bossy, because some intuitive feelers like me are often causing disruptions to ESTJ's landscape which has the most stable, practical, and creatively reliable ethics, it frustrates them so much they want to clear up our problems. My dad is often like, "Why are you like this? why aren't you doing things the RIGHT way?". We could be quite similar under loop, and once my Fi resurfaces I often look back and regret things because I could contradict myself during the phase. But other than that, I think his productivity is often intimidating (I can't finish my projects usually) and sometimes I wish I were more like him. He's been really helpful for our family and through many misunderstandings, we learned that deep down he just yearns to be personally understood. PS: My dad could be the funniest dad according to my friends, and yet at the same time the most serious, so the stereotype of ESTJ being unfunny never gets to me.
I'm INFJ and I have a good ESTJ friend. We met and bonded over atheism. He's active in changing the status quo (I know!), anti- the tax free status of churches, government paying for chaplains in schools etc (Australia). I just hang with the group to meet like-minded people. He's great at fixing stuff. Especially the electrics (not his area of work). Doesn't get overwhelmed. Very competent. We get on well although I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm a freak, and there's alot that goes on in my brainbox that I wouldn't be able to delve into with him.
I'm a Christian ESTJ and I'd be fine with churches not being tax free, I'm in the U.S. though and all religious institutions are tax free (there's even such a thing as an atheist church) which does seem fair and not biased toward one religion. And some American Christians would be in favor of the government not paying for chaplains (I would too but I don't care as much about politics). My dad volunteered for a ministry called Prison Fellowship, they hooked him up with a few pen pals that were in prison and that seems like a way better idea than a state-funded chaplain. He's an ISTJ and became a Christian through logical reasoning after reading Evidence That Demands a Verdict by Josh McDowell, I highly recommend it for you and your friend unless you're hesitant to give up your beliefs.
This is entirely unrelated to the topic of this very informative and well explained video, but I have such a huge crush on how you pronounce the word "hear"
Could you make a video about the influence of parents on the type of their child? Maybe that the combination of the two types of the parents increases the probability of a special type for their child? I hope you know what I mean. English is not my first language.
My mom is one and I like her. Same with my ESTJ boss, who a lot of people in the office don’t like but I like a LOT better than the other manager in the office because I actually know where I stand with her all the time and don’t have to guess like I do with the other manager. I HAVE NO Fe. I was raised by Te-doms and had only one healthy Fe-user AT ALL in my family and we didn’t live in the same house. I don’t play guessing games, manipulation, passive-aggressive, or any of that bullshit. I am not equipped for that garbage and I have no patience with it. Honestly I have had more bad experiences with immature/“evil” Fe users than anything possibly because of being so ill equipped for it and raised with values so inimical to it.
Every MBTI type has their strengths and weaknesses - I really love my fellow INFPs insights, every INFP I've met has an interesting outlook on certain things and are really smart in orthodox and unorthodox means. I'm guessing like myself, you struggle with time management and productivity, and that may be why you aspire to be like an ESTJ, but I assure you the first step in improvement is accepting you for who you are - all the strengths and flaws. You are one beautiful snowflake, now it's time for you to own it :)
@@blessyie643 Aww you're welcome 💕 I'm kinda feeling mad right now that no one has said anything nice to you for that long, wth is wrong with them? Lot's of love from me here 😊 Stay true to yourself and feel confident that you have a soul and are not a piece of garbage like some unhealthy people out there in the world 😉
I heard that's actually pretty common, for types in the same type family (INFPs and ESTJs share all the same functions in their main function stack, just in reverse order) but a lot of people either aspire to be their "opposite" type or they often mistype as their opposite type, I've seen a lot of INTJs turn out to actually be ESFPs Maybe you really are an ESTJ and don't know lol
@@heathfekiff7893 Wow then what about me (INFP) with my ENFJ sister and ISTP dad? We don't share a single function lol. My mum is an ISFJ and we only share Si and Ne (though her Ne is inferior). How did I develop Fi in a family full of Fe-Ti users?
My boss is an ESTJ. She is really innovative in finding new ways of exploiting employees and taking advantages from people, which to her is only saving / making money and logical. And my boss is not alone in this regard.
@@nerysghemor5781 As an INFJ using Ni and Ti I consider many possibilities and considerations, connect the dots, though somewhat slow to act. I value flexibility, and can turn on a dime to make a new plan or approach, realizing the duality of most things, and necessity of grey zones. My experience with two ESTJs is that they are entirely black and white, no gradations. Their vision is set in stone seemingly. Subatomic structure may be dual, positive and negative, set energy orbitals, etc., but complex living things and their behavior are a continuum, not always nicely boxed. Though I might expect an ESTJ to ram home a square peg into a round hole (dammit!), lol.
@@raycaster4398 One of the funny things is that people assume looking at just the letters of our types (INFP vs. INFJ) that we INFP ones are going to be the wishy washy ones. But the truth is INFPs are the ones more likely to dig in our heels at some point even though we do like flexibility to explore new ideas. In the end, there is IMO only one truth and one right and wrong. The universe objectively exists, and so does what would be the most moral decision in any given circumstances. But the key for me is to have humility in the face of that, because unlike God, I have far from an infinite mind or wisdom and I have to realize I don't have the full picture and I can only make my best estimate and act on that.
The MBTI community doesn't know how much it needs this video. ESTJs are the real scapegoats within typology community.
Bruh! Lets keep It like that, so we can keep sucker punching the unaware :3
I think we tend to take the positions where we need to pass the most judgements, and the judges are judged the most out of anybody.
Plus we are most likely to think of MBTI as poppycock.
It’s because everyone likes to hate their boss. My older sister is an ESTJ though so I have a fondness for the type. -random INFP
I mean there's negative stereotypes about every type, but ESTJ, ENTP, and INTJ get called narcissistic or evil because someone had a bad experience with someone who was supposedly one of those personalities lol.
@@sarahberkner INTJ and ENTP's evil narcissistic stereotypes are much more on the cooler side (since people consider edginess cool and also because of intuitive bias). While ESTJ stereotypes are born out of pure hatred. I believe whenever people find a healthy ESTJ, they type them as ENTJ (despite the person having Ne).
This is very accurate, the ESTJ is a truly unique personality type.
Finally someone who understands us ESTJs
You really had me at the "Everything ESTJs do is for other people" I've never felt more heard!
you guys have a moral compass. there's harsh honesty in what you say, but it's in nothing but good faith, a way to motivate others to improve themselves. while it might not work for everyone, your intentions are good. sometimes we need a push forward in the right direction, and that's where you shine the brightest. as an INFP, i have to say that's pretty dang cool.
They yell at you, but they yell at you Becuase they want to to solve your problems because they don't want to see you suffer and make a habit of it
@@nothingspecial163 I watched my son for the first eight years of his life. So his mother and his father could work and party. I was the responsible one. There came a point I had to return him. I walked to the front door.. I could smell the pot and see transient people coming and going and a table of booze in the background with loud music going and a very drunk and stoned mother and father. ( I don't do any of that.. FYI.. I saw the demise of them due to it ). So I opened my mouth and upon passing over my nephew (while he was still a toddler) saying "you are horrible parents! This environment is NOT good for a child! But he is your child so I have no choice." I walked away and said nothing. From that day on.. I was treated so poorly by my family by showing the TRUTH of a situation! Oh, this was 20 years ago. I know the truth.. and it is semi sweet.
Part of the reason ESTJs are negatively stereotyped is that when you don't fit the stereotype they tell you you're not an ESTJ. Extraverted thinkers can use that Te to think about relationships, emotions, their own weaknesses and blind spots etc.
This is honestly the same thing when a sensor is told they're an intuitive because they're "too complex for a sensor"
This right here.
-Signed, An ESTJ-T
Love you healthy ESTJs
Thanks! As an ESTJ married to an INFP for many years I appreciate this! I like to think we were together I am a high functioning ESTJ who has worked on themself from a young age.
My brother is an ESTJ, and he is more passionate and laid back than you might expect from a dominant TE user, but he's one all the same. He has a vision of how to use time effectively and efficiently.
Thank you so much for this video. As an ESTJ I feel highly misrepresented by the community. It feels amazing when people actually see the depth of the personality types. I am tired of the ESTJ stereotypes. It is ironic how people call ESTJs meanies while being lowkey mean themselves to ESTJs. It is infuriating when people base off all ESTJs based on their experience with one or a few ESTJs. People generalize ESTJs way too much and I understand one might have had an awful experience with a person of a certain personality type but that is not an excuse to be saying rather hurtful things about anyone. I appreciate all of your videos a lot.
I agree that ESTJ’s are often misrepresented. My ESTJ husband is so thoughtful and puts my needs before his own. He strives to help others. I am a very lucky INTJ.
I am an INFP who gets really defensive of ESTJs because I have a very balanced one as my mom. I was brought up by Te-doms (ENTJ dad, and her) so I actually get along with them better than some other types…the ones that run with a lot of Fe and aren’t healthy are the ones I have problems with to this day because I had only one positive Fe-dom role model growing up (my grandma, and we didn’t live in the same house). You can imagine how totally opposite my values and the communication style I was brought up with are to “evil Fe.”
@@nerysghemor5781 I am glad you seem to have good enough experience with an estj. I often wonder if the community would still react the same way if the tables were turned and there were estjs generalizing other types because of a few bad experiences they had with these types. I have had very bad experiences with certain personality types consistently but I cannot let that be the judging factor for all the people of those personality types. People often say estjs are "my way or the highway" Kind of people but how I see it is that they are rather the "most effective and efficient way" Kind of people. Many a times people seem to type all toxic people as estjs because they are bossy, arrogant, etc. Any type can be toxic. Estjs are just assertive and give criticism up front. There might be better ways of putting this criticism and I am sure every healthy Estj would make an effort to do so but we must not forget everyone is flawed.
@@balter7728 I've actually gotten along pretty well with most of the Te-doms I meet IRL, because...honestly, it's what I know best. One thing I emphasize to Te-doms who might be trying to be more balanced is that there is a massive difference between tact and lying. And Fi-doms despise lies every bit as much as you guys do. The difference is that tact is about putting the truth in a way that shows people you respect them and their feelings...that you're commenting about an action or a statement and not about who they are as a person. Tact does NOT mean telling someone a lie. Honestly, in my own experience I've found "evil Fe" to be a LOT more subject to lying, manipulating, and/or going back on one's word than Te-Fi, and it's a thing that can be extremely irritating to me.
estj are kind, caring and fun in my experience and I know 2 which I love very much
You are without a doubt the best MBTI content maker on the internet.
100% agree
I am an ENFP and ESTJs are seriously so amazing! I can't speak for everyone but the ones I know are very reliable and trustworthy.
I'm ENFP dating ESTJ. I think ESTJ is very husband material. They are hardworking, reliable and protective towards their loved ones.
@@Sweetcakeyumsame. enfp with estj fiance. person's very my infinity material
This is very true!! I’m an INFP with an ESTJ mom, and just last night we were texting back and forth where I had a scientific idea and was talking about all the good it could do, and she immediately spotted how it could be big business too. My mom is definitely a GREAT example of a healthy ESTJ and the stereotypes really shocked me when I first saw them. In fact, when I told her, the first thing she said was, “I would NEVER be so rude!” Also, while I run with Ne all the time as an INFP, hers will show up unexpectedly and with a lot more comedic timing than you might think, to catch me with a joke or a hilarious GIF or pun. And it really is similar humor to my own! Also, I find that while both ESTJs and ENTJs have inferior Fi, ESTJs are less likely to be in outright denial about their emotions and more in balance that way.
When i for the first time came to the informational field of MBTI (after discovering socionics) i was unpleasantly surprised by the tendency of how people literally spit on ESTJ with poison, accusing them in all the negatives qualities that can ever exist. Most of all they are accused of being conservative, dogmatic, rude, cold and humorless. And as an ENFP whose best friend turned out to be an ESTJ i can tell that this is the silliest and the simplest stereotype which requires no thinking and just makes people to type all the rude people they don't like as ESTJ. ESTJs DO care about other people a lot, they just can't stand laziness and careless attitude to the things that you are in charge of. They love to joke and play with words, discover new things and talk about feelings. Being practical and tending to solve problems (and the problems of other people as well, even if they are not asked to) does not make ESTJs super conservative, dry and heartless.
Period. 👏
You’re right about the playing with words! As an INFP it’s actually really amusing to me how much my ESTJ mom’s sense of humor can be like my own!
@@nerysghemor5781 Yep) My friend actually laughs and jokes far more than i do. When we are together he looks more like the easygoing one and i look like the guy who takes everything too seriously (probably enneagram type plays its role, 3w2 ENFP and 7w6 ESTJ don't meet the stereotypical image of the types.)
thanks for sharing your experience
as an ESTJ i feel better now ❤
"People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing" is a great ESTJ quote.
I 100% agree. I’m an INFP and I LOVE when my ESTJ sister gives me unsolicited advice. She’s a very fun person too. Actually, as an INFP I’m fairly used to being either misunderstood or dismissed, especially my ambitions. But even though our goals are almost entirely opposite, she can step right into my shoes and support me. I try to do the same for her, but I admit it is hard lol. She likes the noise of the big city and it is incomprehensible to me 😂
Estj:
Creative & innovative
Wit & interpersonal energy, playful
Does everything for other people
This sounds so much like my brother, he has been adored by every woman in his life. He is such an affable person, he also takes care of everyone. He doesn't always get the credit he deserves for it. He loves to make all things as efficient as possible for as many people as he can.
there's something mysterious about ESTJs. not a bad mysterious, but rather enigmatic. being an INFP myself, i find ESTJs so fascinating. they use functions that i struggle with, and it's admirable to see them use those functions so easily.
honestly, i used to think that my type was the buttmonkey for comic relief, but ESTJs... god, at least we're stereotyped in multiple different ways, whether good or bad. i can't say the same for either ESTJs. i feel like we just all somehow came to the decision that they are scary and mean and lack souls.
that's not fair. without them, we'd all be absolutely doomed. sure, they can be pushy, but it really feels like they have good intentions behind it. there's a sense of morality and there's a spectrum to them too, even if they tend to think in black and white. but that doesn't mean they can't comprehend a morally gray situation when shown, and how they respond to it is based on their character as a whole. just like the rest of us.
a quick example: my uncle is an ESTJ. my father (may his memory be a blessing) - his baby brother - was an INFP like myself. because of that, he knew how to handle me and my blind spots. i remember visiting once, and i was too shy to open my mouth. on the way back to the airport, i said something to my brother and he said "finally you talk!" at first i was mortified, but after stewing over it, i decided to not only prove my uncle wrong, but to prove _myself_ wrong as well. it incentivized me to stop hiding myself and come back to visit as a stronger person than i was before. i dyed my hair blue, something i wanted to do for years. i started wearing clothing that accentuated my body. and when i showed up two years later for thanksgiving, i took a deep breath to prepare myself. i felt a sense of nervousness because i was worried my appearance would backfire, but the second he opened the door, he told me i looked amazing. i survived the small talk, and once my older cousin (he's always been gentle and someone i clung to) showed up, i was talking like a human being. i actually talked. i made people laugh. and i learned that i love being around people, even if i tire out quickly.
i couldn't have done it without my uncle. he pushed me when i needed it most. and all of it was in good faith. it made me understand why my father admired him so much.
so i just want ESTJs to know... you guys are the backbone of society. what would life be like without you?
and what would i, your opposite type, be like without you?
the answer is simple: i'd be _miserable._
thank you for pushing us to do our best.
My younger sister is an ESTJ and I could only wish to be as consistent with work like her. She's hardly what stereotypes portray her type to be. She's actually very entertaining to talk to, is a good listener to me, and I can 100% rely on her to get stuff done, its crazy how dependable she can be in certain matters.
I never ever trash-talked ESTJ's and their portrayal in the community always baffled me.
Thank you so so much ESTJ's for all your hardwork, attention and care.
- an INFJ admirer
Honestly, the type that I always look up to
The ESTJs I know have a good heart, are staunchly loyal, caring, practical, helpful (when they have or can make the time), hard-working and responsible, vulnerable emotionally, intelligent but opinionated so not always open-minded, respectful even when they don’t understand other people’s position, appreciative of kindnesses done to them, fit, not-so-detail-focused, conscientious, moral, have a good sense-of-humor, generous and thoughtful toward loved ones, and certainly not lazy or minimalistic. Other stuff too but that’s good for now. I love them.
Thank you very much for this video! I am an estj freelancer, where my job is to balance creativity and productivity. I'm so tired of the stereotypes that they only see us working in a company bossing people around or as a military leader lol
My ESTJ grandma was very creative and highly respected dance teacher. I think her strictness and creativity melded well in that profession although she did say that she hated the hecticness of it all.
I agree with what you said. As an INTP, she is a conundrum for me. She's stonefaced and very strict all the time but easily moved and cries for other people's plight. Our dog got sick and while I was busy checking out his symptoms and solutions, she was crying by his side and comforting him. (I was horrified lmao. I wasn't used to seeing that or on any people for that matter. I just made jokes to lighten the situation. Dark jokes 💀)
I used to wonder which is the "fake" side but I realized that there's none. They're both part of her. It's amazing to observe her and I love making her laugh. It feels like the best achievement to make someone usually stern burst out laughing.
Well, most of the time ESTJs pave the path Many people seems to have a lot of negative things to say while they are walking on an efficient path made by ESTJs
as someone who's had rather negative interactions with estjs in the past, this really helps me understand and empathize with them more! hope i can learn to how to better interact with that one estj peer i have,, thanks for this nathan :>
Im an ESTJ and proud of it. Im proud of my staff and I encourage them to take initiative on how to do our work more efficiently. We modify, re evaluate, and adapt. I advice my staff how to maximize their earnings. I also ensure fairness at work. I will not hold their hand and cry with them, but I make sure that everyone have a good working environment and that they maximize their potential.
Personality Typing videos as therapy! I just remembered that, when I was kid and not yet fully broken (for a wonder), I used to have this wonderful idea that if people would just do their work when they knew it had fallen upon them to do it, then there would be less work, less yelling and less other inconveniences.
Because, we carried in water or chopped ice and either way, heated it up on a wood stove. And, if dishes were allowed to sit for several days before washing, they were harder to clean, as were the areas they sat on during that time, which meant more water needed, which meant more time fiddling with heating up water. But, also, there was the "Well, I need the knife! Go at least clean the .... knife. Also, a plate for each person." in-between rounds of washing dishes.
Sometimes people in my family didn't wash dishes for weeks or months. I was always having to help, until I got to be about 4 year of age and then I had to take my turn in the line up of dishwashing siblings. People were always yelling at other people not to wait so long to wash dishes. So, my sister finished washing dishes one day and then we had dinner, breakfast and lunch and I set out to wash dishes after the next dinner was over, when the pans were still warm and the grease would be easy to get rid of. But, I was yelled at so hard and forced to wait for over a week and then yelled at for taking too long. They told me I was just trying to get away without washing my fair share of the dishes and then me waiting proved how lazy I was. (sigh)
And, no one wanted to listen to the idea that if everyone washed dishes as soon as possible after it became their turn, there would be less work, mess and strife. It was the first remembered of many fine ideas I had to make things better, which were shot down in flames.
But, then, that means that's a part of who I really am, despite that I have trouble engaging in work now while being driven insane by family. Getting things done. I always forget in the madness and oppression, but getting things done is so important to everything I want to be about.
My first girlfriend was an ESTJ. She simultaneously defied the stereotype while still having her functions be obvious. She wasn’t controlling, pushy, stubborn, traditional (like in any way), or unimaginative. She definitely loved being helpful, more than a lot of people I know, and enjoyed spending time with whoever she could. She was so chill most of the time I initially thought she was an ESFP, but I could tell she was an ESTJ though because her extroversion was rough and insensitive in that obvious inferior Fi way, she was prone to losing her cool on friends and boyfriends who she thought couldn’t handle her honesty or jokes sometimes, and whenever she was bored and alone she would obsessively organize and reorganize her stuff down to the little hair beads in her bathroom. Her help also often extended to trying to tell her friends very bluntly what they SHOULD do to solve their problems and getting annoyed when they persisted in being irrational. She was a calm and friendly person, just too blunt
You just gave me clarity that one of my best guy friends is in fact an ESTJ and not a ESFP, thanks!
@@lbell9695 Unlike in fiction, real life ESTJs are hard to differentiate from ESFPs. You just gotta look for that inferior Fi. Both love fun, but ESFPs are smoother with people than ESTJs are
@@SangreFriasBack I was thinking that the glimpses of Te I saw was because ESFP's have Te in their tertiary function. He's disciplined and is obsessed with making sure everything is clean and organised but I thought it just could have been his family raising him that way. He has a really good read on others, and a way with people so I thought he was bound to be an F type, and a sense of impulsivity that made me think EXXP, but now I can see him being an ESTJ :)
@@lbell9695 To give an example that might be more helpful, I originally thought Michael De Santa from GTA V was an ESFP. He’s impulsive, addicted to chaos, good in hectic environments, and somewhat hedonistic, and he’s generally friendly and even persuasive when he’s lying. But his Fi is obvious in how bad he is at dealing with his emotions, and his Si in how obsessed he is with his past and how his old life was what made him happy. He’s perpetually dissatisfied. When he’s pulled out of his comfortable life and into Trevor’s trailer, he laments how he misses his family and his mansion and wants to go home. And yet when he was home, he was depressed because he missed his life of crime. And when he was a young criminal, he lamented the loss of his high school football career. Nothing is traditional about Michael. He’s not a normal or even controlling dad, not an up standing member of society or staunch traditionalist so far as we can tell. But his wild life is his tradition. It’s not stereotypical Si, but it’s his Si
Sounds like my mother, who is an ESTJ. When Nathan said “everything ESTJs do is for other people”, it shocked me but it all made sense. My mother would frequently reorganize my room without me asking for it, and ask me to help her with preparing the house for Christmas and other holidays, before I found it annoying, but now I realize it’s out of a desire to help everyone in the family.
(The only problem is that since ESTJs often don’t get the credit or help they need from others, they can get burnt out and not even realize it!)
I think how we expressed our devotion and love are usually misenterpreted because us ESTJs are not usually affectionate. I am pragmatic and rational. My siblinsg would always tell me that I might not be the hugs and kisses type of perso but I take care of them. I help them in their schoolwork when they were younger and now, i help in their career and finances. Im not the type to hold their hand but i will take care of them.
I have only come across one ESTJ person (that I am aware of to have Te Si Ne Fi as cognitive functions and in that order). He was a high school classmate of mine. His mind was actually quite ‘chaotic’ and buzzing with ideas. He was an overachiever, goal-oriented, with a plan set in place. We were both class representatives and were able to communicate and function well in that regard. While it is true that our approach differed back then, our motivation and plan/goal-oriented nature overlapped most of the time. We both were the sort of people who say what they think and do what they say. Such reliability was the key to a successful communication. Perhaps cognitive functions aren’t everything. I guess that there are more factors to be considered while talking about personality types and their ability to work together and understand each other.
ESTJs are about 8% of the population, I'm guessing you've met more than one. We're better at short term goals but have more trouble with long-term future goals. And we can be creative but I feel like it's to things we already are competent in. Like, personally I don't have good ideas how to improve something until I'm more familiar with it, I can't usually come up with ideas completely out of thin air, and I'll pay attention to what has worked for other people (without outright copying them).
This explains exactly how I am and how I care for others. Always optimizing systems, spaces, and whatever I can control. Get work done efficiently and on time so we can run around and have fun without a care in the world cuz we handled business and now it’s play time lol
Not only generous and caring to a fault, ESTJs are absolutely some of the sharpest, driest and wittiest people I have ever met, from my own brother to my ex- pre- mother-in-law. Both of these people are extraordinarily intelligent in the IQ sense. I enjoy working with ESTJs because they usually get the job done with minimal bias and hassle and maximum fun (just don't set off a pet peeve). It's not usually worth arguing with them; they always win with an air-tight case that's so exquisitely supported that you forget what you were saying.
Thank you so much day by day i am comprehending myself, I've read so many books but none of them aid in self-development, anyhow, love your Channel, we appreciate the hard work you do, thanks again, maybe consider writing a book.
I've been meaning to learn more about this type, so this helps
ESTJs are wicked creative! I had to work hard to convince the ESTJ in my family that no, I don't want an EVEN cheaper phone plan if involves excess haggling with customer service people on the phone: I'm perfectly happy picking up my cell phone minutes at the store like a normal person. She felt rather gutted by my rejection: love on your ESTJs 👩🏭
Lol she sounds like Dave Ramsey (he's a celebrity financial advisor). I'm thrifty and bought my phone used for $40 and have Mint Mobile, however I'm too shy and bad at talking to haggle over prices.
@@sarahberkner Dave Ramsey talks slower than she does, lol! But it's the same perspective & viewpoint; she can be smart when she wants to be. I rarely have the momentum built up (social combustion?) to be ready for any sort of haggling unless it's in person, one-on-one and face-to-face. I guess she doesn't realize I need to feel like I have a pretty good read on the other person but if there's no way to focus my energy specifically then-I-can't-well-whats-the-point--- 🤢😖🤯😵😵💫😹😹😹😄
I think I've heard Dave Ramsey speak on some Christian radio stations; I had to look him up when you mentioned him but I think I have heard him take callers with interesting questions
I think it's because for me whenever I try to search up things about estj (it's just kevin's youtube channel for example) they just sound like not good people who goes against everything that I believe in as an Infp not being empathetic enough, stupidly conservative and over reliant on the past, tried true and tested, overly cold and unemotional who always pokes (micromanages) things which can truly hurt and gets on my nerves, etc so much so that estj & j's in general have become black listed in my mind, the more similar the worst and over coming that bias is tough. So I really appreciate this video and the insight on estj's as I've learned a bit.
I'd recommend the video, "5 ESTJs on Type Talk", it might help to see multiple ESTJs together and realize we are (kind of) normal people. Not all ESTJs are healthy but that goes for any type. You probably have met some ESTJs in real life and don't even know it.
Great video! Because you have an ESTJ mother you can really see how we function in day to day life...
Understanding how we tick better then most people! Your personality seems to see us more clearly compared to other types also...
Ive been told by my mother ESFJ that I'm selfish as an ESTJ most my life (Fe seems to despise Te)
Always found it hilarious coz everything ESTJs do is "others" oriented... our Te never stops problem solving for others, yes even keeping us all night thinking about "your problem" we should solve.
Finally! It’s time for estj justice!
I wanna see more about estj's and the rest of the less popular types!
Most of people in internet just talks trash about estj without any reason. Like we have no feelings...
This is so true, my aunt and dad are estj and this them in words .
You sound like amazing, wonderful people, ESTJs! Kind of makes me sad about my personality type-ISTJ
Don't be sad! I appreciate the job my ISTJ dad did raising me. He fits the stereotype to the nines but us generous and is very concerned with doing the right thing and very organized and is retired now but was great at his job.
Also ESTJs aren't too bad but we are the scapegoat of MBTI and some people think we're the worst type.
Too bad that ESTJ seems to get bad exposure from the MBTI community most of the time. My brother is an ESTJ and he's actually more sensible and affective than me, an ENTP. He could senses how other people are feeling and act his way to help them, even just in the slightest way. There was a time when my ENFP sister get scolded for not doing her homeworks, my brother take care after her and helps her doing the homeworks while i just...hiding because i giggling so much, sorry! He also an open minded person and didn't like close minded people who refuse to learn more and drowning in their ignorance, which is why he likely to get into an argument or making fun of people on the internet (this is why we get along well! other than memes heh). Although there are times when he got into one of those "evil mode", usually because something is disappointing him and didn't go according to his plans, when it's happened me and my ENFP sister's just like "he's in one of those moods again lol." When he accidentally hurt me or someone else's feelings in those "berzerk mode" he made sure to apologize, if he doesn't realize i talk him down to it and he understands then apologizing to the person
intp and estj relationship bro
sounds bad, but its great
got one brat with dumb ideas and an occasional good one but throws them all into the trash
then another who sorts the trash and puts the good ones to use for you and helps you with that
Or rather, when it's good it's really good, and when it's bad it's really bad. Optimally they can really help each other to realize their best qualities, but they might just drive each other mad as well...
- INTP
ESTJs are the most misunderstood type. They can be quite playful in a detached, cat-like way.
As an INTP, I just can't get along with ESTJ. We have nothing in common and we see the world in the opposite ways.
Yes, they are helpful, my mom is also an ESTJ btw, but that help is almost never asked for and it annoys me that everything must be her way, she simply does not understand that there are other ways than the one she had chosen in her mind. Example: for years she would put a simple clock in my room, even when I left for studies. Whenever I arrived for a visit, the first thing I'd do was to take the batteries off of it, cos the ticking sound drove me mad and I couldn't sleep. Then after I left again, she would put the batteries back in. Years passed, clocks changed, but our silent battle continued... until the day she decided to renovate my old room. What did I see after my arrival, you ask? A huge clock, permanently fixed to the wall, ticking louder than ever, with batteries impossible to get rid off... thus, I lost and gave up. xD
Her justification was always the same:
- I don't understand how one CAN'T have a clock in the room!
- you should be able to just look up and know what time it is right away!
She just can't imagine that INTP don't mind being late, we ignore deadlines, chores and we rarely plan ahead. Time doesn't play much of a role in my life in the first place, but for an estj it is unimaginable. Have hundreds stories of our bizzarre interactions.
Agree, but i dont care, not into judging an entire community but yeah they have opposite way thinking. They piss me off.
Not all ESTJs are like your mother though.
@@lbell9695 Obviously, but I also have an estj cousin and met other estjs. They are similar in a way. They always tend to impose their strong will on things and people, but I prefer to oppose such force.
I totally understand you, I remember this little clock for a moment in my room, when I was child, I found it funny at first, but quickly became unbearable. I hate heard this sound (Se inferior). I don't have clock, if I want to know the time I have my watch and computers.
I am INTJ and my brother is INTP.
Concrete planning and clock seems very Si users (1 & 2nd functions). That make sense, last year at temporary job, the people who made planning are ISTJ and ISFJ (Si Dom)
Ni plan too, but it's in the mind, and more flexible.
That's hilarious. I'm actually really intrigued by the idea that you have so many more "bizarre" stories about your interactions with your ESTJ mom lol. My aunt is an ESTJ (her name is Sylvia, actually!), so I am very familiar with the type. We all adore her, but her sons have to distance themselves so much from her because the boundaries are just...impossible to maintain.
I'm an ENFP, so I also have a very casual relationship with time and my physical surroundings. Drives her nuts. And you don't want that, because then she'll drive *you* nuts. It's a trip, for sure. 😏
As an FF-Te/Si-BP/C(S) I'd say you definitely did this video justice. Thank you Nathan 🙌🏽
As an ENTP who has highly developed Si, sometimes I can see myself as an ESTJ, especially when dealing with important people (i.e friends, family, co-worker).
But when I'm in the public domain, my ENTP personality is more dominant.
I think that ENTP / ESTJ is a really common mistype. Usually it’s ESTJs thinking they’re ENTPs because of the biased results of various online tests. It makes sense that a balanced ENTP would resemble an ESTJ! ~ Nathan
A lot of this only matters if the ESTJ is emotionally stable.
The most hated mbti type by a sizeable margin, followed by ESFJ.
The ENTJ video of this series has 46k as opposed to this videos 9k. Its obvious people much prefer intuitives.
I'm an ENFP, if I should throw someone off the boat it's likely to be ESTJ but only because I'm close with my dad who is a textbook ESTJ. Though I'm appreciative of his efficiency and 'wanting to help' nature, sometimes it comes off involuntary and causes me discomfort. We often clashes because 'I can't read beyond his actions that his intention is good' but often time it doesn't matter if you have good intentions if you can't communicate it well. Maybe it's also why the type is misrepresented as bossy, because some intuitive feelers like me are often causing disruptions to ESTJ's landscape which has the most stable, practical, and creatively reliable ethics, it frustrates them so much they want to clear up our problems. My dad is often like, "Why are you like this? why aren't you doing things the RIGHT way?". We could be quite similar under loop, and once my Fi resurfaces I often look back and regret things because I could contradict myself during the phase. But other than that, I think his productivity is often intimidating (I can't finish my projects usually) and sometimes I wish I were more like him. He's been really helpful for our family and through many misunderstandings, we learned that deep down he just yearns to be personally understood.
PS: My dad could be the funniest dad according to my friends, and yet at the same time the most serious, so the stereotype of ESTJ being unfunny never gets to me.
Vivid and relatable description of family dynamics between an ENFP an ETSJ. Helpful.
I'm INFJ and I have a good ESTJ friend. We met and bonded over atheism. He's active in changing the status quo (I know!), anti- the tax free status of churches, government paying for chaplains in schools etc (Australia). I just hang with the group to meet like-minded people.
He's great at fixing stuff. Especially the electrics (not his area of work). Doesn't get overwhelmed. Very competent.
We get on well although I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm a freak, and there's alot that goes on in my brainbox that I wouldn't be able to delve into with him.
I'm a Christian ESTJ and I'd be fine with churches not being tax free, I'm in the U.S. though and all religious institutions are tax free (there's even such a thing as an atheist church) which does seem fair and not biased toward one religion. And some American Christians would be in favor of the government not paying for chaplains (I would too but I don't care as much about politics). My dad volunteered for a ministry called Prison Fellowship, they hooked him up with a few pen pals that were in prison and that seems like a way better idea than a state-funded chaplain.
He's an ISTJ and became a Christian through logical reasoning after reading Evidence That Demands a Verdict by Josh McDowell, I highly recommend it for you and your friend unless you're hesitant to give up your beliefs.
@@sarahberkner I don't have beliefs, I have knowledge. Thanks anyway 🌼
Omg this almost reminds me of my old case manager, and maybe even someone else o-o
I want to know more about estj vs esfj men!
This is entirely unrelated to the topic of this very informative and well explained video, but I have such a huge crush on how you pronounce the word "hear"
One of my favorite actors is an ESTJ. Jackie Chan by name. ESTJs Ne and is underastimated.
Could you make a video about the influence of parents on the type of their child? Maybe that the combination of the two types of the parents increases the probability of a special type for their child? I hope you know what I mean. English is not my first language.
i feel like i’m one of the few infps who actually likes estjs lmao
My mom is one and I like her. Same with my ESTJ boss, who a lot of people in the office don’t like but I like a LOT better than the other manager in the office because I actually know where I stand with her all the time and don’t have to guess like I do with the other manager. I HAVE NO Fe. I was raised by Te-doms and had only one healthy Fe-user AT ALL in my family and we didn’t live in the same house. I don’t play guessing games, manipulation, passive-aggressive, or any of that bullshit. I am not equipped for that garbage and I have no patience with it. Honestly I have had more bad experiences with immature/“evil” Fe users than anything possibly because of being so ill equipped for it and raised with values so inimical to it.
Okay, but ESTJs are still the enemy.
Not me an INFP wishing I'm an ESTJ...
Every MBTI type has their strengths and weaknesses - I really love my fellow INFPs insights, every INFP I've met has an interesting outlook on certain things and are really smart in orthodox and unorthodox means. I'm guessing like myself, you struggle with time management and productivity, and that may be why you aspire to be like an ESTJ, but I assure you the first step in improvement is accepting you for who you are - all the strengths and flaws. You are one beautiful snowflake, now it's time for you to own it :)
@@lbell9695 Dang... This must be the sweetest thing someone has ever said to me in the past two years 💛
@@blessyie643 Aww you're welcome 💕 I'm kinda feeling mad right now that no one has said anything nice to you for that long, wth is wrong with them? Lot's of love from me here 😊 Stay true to yourself and feel confident that you have a soul and are not a piece of garbage like some unhealthy people out there in the world 😉
I heard that's actually pretty common, for types in the same type family (INFPs and ESTJs share all the same functions in their main function stack, just in reverse order) but a lot of people either aspire to be their "opposite" type or they often mistype as their opposite type, I've seen a lot of INTJs turn out to actually be ESFPs
Maybe you really are an ESTJ and don't know lol
@@heathfekiff7893 Wow then what about me (INFP) with my ENFJ sister and ISTP dad? We don't share a single function lol. My mum is an ISFJ and we only share Si and Ne (though her Ne is inferior). How did I develop Fi in a family full of Fe-Ti users?
Yeah, *healthy* ESTJ are so awesome...
Overbalanced, ironically undervalued
My boss is an ESTJ. She is really innovative in finding new ways of exploiting employees and taking advantages from people, which to her is only saving / making money and logical. And my boss is not alone in this regard.
16 personalities as elements of nature
🕯Could you do the 16 personalities at their worst? 🕯
But, watch out for the ESTJ, "My way, or the highway."
That tends to be my ENTJ dad to a greater extent than my ESTJ mom.
@@nerysghemor5781 😦
@@raycaster4398 What part about that is shocking? 🤣
@@nerysghemor5781
As an INFJ using Ni and Ti I consider many possibilities and considerations, connect the dots, though somewhat slow to act. I value flexibility, and can turn on a dime to make a new plan or approach, realizing the duality of most things, and necessity of grey zones.
My experience with two ESTJs is that they are entirely black and white, no gradations. Their vision is set in stone seemingly.
Subatomic structure may be dual, positive and negative, set energy orbitals, etc., but complex living things and their behavior are a continuum, not always nicely boxed. Though I might expect an ESTJ to ram home a square peg into a round hole (dammit!), lol.
@@raycaster4398 One of the funny things is that people assume looking at just the letters of our types (INFP vs. INFJ) that we INFP ones are going to be the wishy washy ones. But the truth is INFPs are the ones more likely to dig in our heels at some point even though we do like flexibility to explore new ideas. In the end, there is IMO only one truth and one right and wrong. The universe objectively exists, and so does what would be the most moral decision in any given circumstances. But the key for me is to have humility in the face of that, because unlike God, I have far from an infinite mind or wisdom and I have to realize I don't have the full picture and I can only make my best estimate and act on that.
Cool!
people dislike estjs? Dang
I think I like ESTJs. ESFJs however... 😞
SJs SPs are balanced, abstracts are the polarized ones lol
You know you are lying